"Mommy!! Mommy lookie!" I laughed as i swung higher on my swingset. My mother spoke to a man on th other side of the fence ingnoring me.
"That's great sweetie." She said not even caring.I pouted some as best as my 5 year-old capablities would give me. My checks were rounded with baby fat and my lips already formed a natural pout.
Maybe that's why she ignores me. Because she always thinks i'm wanting something. I do. I want her attention. To know that I am her child. And she does.
When we are behind closed doors.
"Now Cloud stay still! You scrapped your knee pretty badly."
"Owie..." She gave me a hug in reasurance.
"It will be fine soon sweety. We have to keep your blood inside of you. It would be bad if bad people got some of it. So when ever you are hurt come to mommy and I will fix you up so no one can have your blood."
"Why mommy?" She smiled. A quick pat and she was off to make dinner. I touched the cut gingerly and got off my bed.
I snuck outside as I usually do. Mother doesn't like it when i go out side without her. But she never looks at me when we are out here. She sits there and talks to the men in the village over the fence. I've seen those men in Mother's bed before. They were making strange noises and motions. It scared me, so i hid under the covers in my room... and cried. I cry a lot. Mother tries and comforts me but the tears don't stop....
I walked silently down the streets, kicking stones in my way. I felt the spikes of my hair bounce with each step. I watched the other kids play. Their hair was brown or black... I was the only one with blond hair. The only one with spiky hair. Only one with blue eyes, with pale skin, with forbidden blood, and shunned by everyone.
I was an abomination. A spawn of hatred, fear, and damnnation.
And I'm only 5...
I swung on the swing sets of the school's playground alone. I watched the others play tag and other silly little games that I was never allowed to join. I hung my head a stared at the ground.
"Hello... Why are you sad?" I looked up. A girl smiled at me. "Come play." She extended her hand out as a friendly gesture. I smiled a little and went to reach for her hand.
"Tifa!!! Stay away from that boy!!" A woman ran up smacked my hand away, and scooped the girl up in her arms. "You're a detestible child! How dare you think you can play with my little girl!! You should be dragged in the middle of town and beaten to death! You monster!!" The woman stormed off with the little girl, Tifa i believe, waved and mouthed 'We'll play some other time!'
"Cloud!! What did you do to Tifa?!" A man, i think Dr. Malensuki and the last one to play that horrible game with my mother, grabbed the back of my shirt and hoisted me up to face him. "What your mother tell you?! STAY IN YOUR HOUSE UNLESS SHE IS WITH YOU!" He threw me to the ground. I hit hard and swore i tasted blood. "Boys that disobey their mother need to be punished." He picked me up again and threw me over his shoulder. I coughed as my ribs hit his shoulders.
The brick was cold. Really cold. I could feel the coldness on my chest through my shirt. Dr. Malensuki was grinning against my ear whispering words i didn't understand. I shut my eyes really tight when i heard the fabric of my shirt rip. I bit my lip as my skin came into contact with the brick i was being pushed against. It was rough and damp and it made my skin tingle.
I started to cry when my pants were ripped off. I had no clue what was going on. I started to scream as I felt something enter me but i was quickly gagged by two fingers that pressed against my tongue. I started to choke and squirm but his grip on me was like iron. His finger wiggled inside of me and I tried to scream but no luck. So i sat there and cried. The pain was unbarable. After his finger left me i thought it was over, and then a larger thing replaced his finger.
My eyes widened as far as the could. Blood oozed out of my mouth from atempts to scream. I felt EVERYTHING. Each push, every scrap from the brick, the blood running down my legs and chin. All I could do was cry and be raped.
And mother didn't care.
"Cloud!!! You're bleeding!! What I say about getting hurt!!" She quickly wiped the blood off my mouth. I sat there crying as she did so, trying to tell her what happened.
"Nonsense Cloud. Dr. Malensuki is a nice man. He wouldn't hurt you."
And all I could do was cry.