The DOA Purity Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.
Do you even know what Dead or Alive is? (If you don't, then, uh, why are you here?)
You are thinking about the Dead or Alive video game, right?
So, do you own DOAU? (Dead or Alive Ultimate, the latest in the series)
What about DOA3? (Released around the same time as the Xbox's debut)
DOA2 or DOA2: Hardcore?
What about the original DOA for Playstation or Saturn? (Owning DOAU doesn't count, sorry)
Whenever anybody says DOA referring to 'Dead on Arrival' or some other random acronym, do you automatically think of Dead or Alive instead?
Do you love the names of the characters in the game, even though names like 'Kasumi' and 'Ryu' are so sorely overused in Japanese games and somebody should really nuke them?
Have you thought of accurate yet affectionate pet-names for the characters? (Like Chicken Man for Jann Lee, for example)
Alright, onto the gameplay for a second. Have you spent over fifty hours on one DOA game?
Over one hundred?
One hundred and fifty?
Have you reached over 1000 in the character usage?
...With one character?
Over 2000 with one character?
Do you know what the working title for the original DOA was?
Do you own any of the DOA songs?
Do you own any of the DOA soundtracks?
Any other DOA fan-stuff? (Like, uh, inflatable boobies or something...)
Do you find it odd that only four of the DOA characters so far introduced have last names?
Did you buy Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox just because Ryu Hayabusa was in it, and he was in DOA as well?
That and because Ryu Hayabusa is drop-dead sexy?
Did you find yourself angry at the lack of 'movies illustrating characters' pasts' that Tecmo promised on the back of the DOAU box?
Okay. Let's get serious. Do you honestly play DOA for the gameplay?
The most noticeable thing about Kasumi is her hair, right?
If I was to tell you that Ayane has randomly fallen in love with Kasumi, would you jump up and murder me?
Or are you simply a shoujo-ai fan? (Girl x girl, for those unawares)
Speaking of shoujo-ai, have you ever written fanfiction for DOA?
More then one?
More then ten?
Is the DOA fandom your primary fandom?
What about drawing fanart? Have you ever drawn fanart for DOA?
More then five?
More then ten?
Do you take sinister delight in reading/writing/drawing fanworks of completely non-canon pairings? (Kasumi and... Jann Lee, for instance)
Do you write/read/draw shoujo-ai?
Do you write/read/draw shounen-ai? (Boy x boy)
Is your favourite pairing shojo/shounen-ai? (LIEK KASUMI x AYANE OMG LOL)
Is your favourite pairing shojo/shounen-ai that's notoriously difficult to find stories/pictures of?
Is your favourite pairing something only you write/draw about?
Anyway, enough of the fandom questions. Back to the game itself! Can you kick butt using random?
Do you find yourself moving the characters around in sparring mode so you can get a good glimpse of butt/hair/chest/anything else you might find physically attractive?
Have you ever dressed like one of the DOA characters? (That'd be a sight to see. Nothing. Gasp!)
Can you see that, although the girls are obviously there to satisfy the guys, that the girls can still get eyecandy with the DOA guys?
Is your game set on Very Hard? (Although, on DOA3, that doesn't mean so much...)
Have you taken time out with your favourite character to learn their moves and combos?
Have you taken time out with every character to learn their moves and combos?
I say "DOA movie". You say "Where?!"
You feel that Ayane is a horribly under-rated character in comparison to Kasumi and deserves more of the spotlight.
You wish that DOA had more story to it so you could find out more about the characters.
You can easily rattle off the age, height, weight, blood type and favourite things for your favourite character.
You can easily rattle off the above for any character.
Even Gen-Fu.
You actually went out researching (if you didn't know already) to find out exactly what the heck a 'Curio shop' was.
You found out and went "Ah, I see the character similarity!"
You know what 'Kasumi', 'Ryu' and 'Hayabusa' translate to in English.
You know what 'Geri' (quite a few moves end in it) means translated into English.
So when (not if, when) I say "What the hell were they thinking?" you would know what I mean and agree with me.
You've been a fan of Hayate since before he was actually a playable character.
And went off him straight away when he was introduced in DOA3.
Why? Because he rips off too many character's moves, that's why!
Shiden? You know who that is, right?
And Ayame? You know who Ayame is?
Raidou. You know who Raidou is, don't you?
You can easily rattle off the bosses in all three DOA games and strategies for how to defeat them.
You've written guides for how to beat them.
You've written and posted character guides on the net.
You've sat on your butt for over five hours playing DOA. (Must... get... more... outfits!)
You've sat on your butt for over ten hours playing DOA. (Must... play... more... to get... characters...!)
Three words: Naked Kasumi Patch.
You've converted friends into DOA fans.
You've converted friends into DOA fanatics.
Nevertheless, you can beat those converted friends with one hand.
AND your eyes shut.
You've honestly played (and won) playing DOA with your feet. (Countering is a pain, for those that haven't tried it...)
You know what I'm talking about when I say 'Izuna Otoshi'.
You also know who uses (and abuses) the Izuna, right down to the last leaf.
You've mastered the Izuna.
You've mastered the OFF-ANALOG Izuna. (A definite difference!)
You've wanted to learn martial arts just to imitate your favourite character.
You've broken a leg because you were trying to imitate your favourite character. ("I don't get it! Why can't I imitate the Izuna? I do the yell right and everything!")
I say "Opera", you say "Helena".
That scene between Leifang and Helena in the opera house is just SCREAMING tension.
Sexual tension.
You've considered learning Japanese just so you can find out what Tecmo is hiding from you.
You learned and found out. ("Good god! What idiot actually says 'Good Vibration'?!")
You know exactly which 'idiot' says "Good Vibration".
You've gone to Japan just to increase your DOA fan-item collection.
And taken pictures of the DOA characters with you just in case you don't have access to a game console.
From analysing the characters, their personalities and their pasts, hell, you probably know more about them then Tecmo does.
Forget Tecmo, you know more about the characters then the characters know about themselves. ("Wow, so I really DO love Hayate, huh?")
You know who has the move 'Genmu-So'.
And the move 'Kamui'.
You've been playing DOA for over a year, and been loving it.
Over two years.
You've been a fan of a certain character for over a year. (I don't mean fan, I mean FAN.)
Over two years!
You believe that Jann Lee was the JKD master.
And Tai Chi makes a better fighting style then exercise routine.
You've gone as a DOA character to a convention of some sort.
You went as a NINJA! (Come on, if you wanted to be cheap, you could just use toilet paper...)
Why? Because ninjas are cool, that's why.
You learned about ninjas from studying them hard. You studied them because of DOA's influence.
Ayane's hair is, like, so totally natural. And you want it. Ehehe.
Come on. DOA owns Tekken ANY DAY.
And Street Fighter, and Mortal Kombat... and hell, any other fighting game just falls FLAT compared to DOA.
A bit like the girls' chests in any other fighting game (in comparison).
You regularly snag a 100 wins on Survival mode. (And no cheating, DOA2/3 people!)
You find the Tengu as a boss laughably easy.
You can't believe you're wasting your time on this purity test when you could actually be doing something DOA related.
Nice work!