"Daddy," Hailie Jade Scott said from the backseat, staring at the side of her fathers head while he was driving. "I hate these headphones," She complained, sighing as they snapped in half. She tossed the broken headphones into the front seat of the SUV, and Kim picked them up.
"Marshall, She broke them, again." Kim said, shaking her head and putting them into the glove box.
"Well Kim, I told you not to buy things from K-Mart anymore..." Marshall shrugged and kept his eyes on the road.
"Yeah, well I dont fucking wanna pay 40 dollars at the SONY store for headphones she will break, or lose, or leave somewhere." Kim rolled down her window and grabbed her purse, shifting through her makeup, cell phone, and various other items that she really didnt need, trying to find her ciggarettes.
"Maybe it would teach her some responsibility. What the fu-hell do I care? I'll buy you new ones baby, okay?" He glanced in the rear view mirror at her and she nodded, looking out her window boredly.
"Mommy, can you put your window up? Im cold..."
"Hun, I need a ciggarette, afterwards I'll put my window up, okay?" Kim said, lighting a ciggarette and tossing the lighter back into her purse.
"Daddy, I dont wanna go to the Zoo." Hailie complained.
"Yeah, Marshall I think we should just go back home, We can rent a movie! Weren't we going to watch Pulp Fiction tonight anyway?" Kim agreed with Hailie.
"No, look, we are going to the zoo, and we are going to have a good time." Marshall growled. He was sick and tired of Kim and Hailie complaining. Thats all they had done, all day. He loved both with everything in him, but jesus fucking christ... He just wanted to have fun, a nice, family outing for once. And dammit, he felt like going to the zoo.
"Marsh-" Kim started, as they stopped a redlight.
"No, look we are almost there. If we turned around now, it would be such a waste of Gasoline..."
"Gasoline?" Kim raised an eyebrow.
"Thats bad for the planet!" Hailie chirped from the backseat, fiddling the seat buckle that was bothering her.
"Hailie, stay buckled. We're almost there." Marshall said, watching her in the mirror as she struggled with the seat belt. "I said, STAY BUCKLED!" He wanted to slam his head into the dashboard. He was having such a bad day. And, the traffic was backed up worse than it was in someplace like Times Square. What the fuck, DID EVERYONE WANNA GO TO THE ZOO TODAY?!
"One time, when we were in a taxi cab," Hailie began slowly. "I didnt have my seatbelt on, and nothing bad happened."
"Yeah but hunny, that was with a proffessional driver, and it was only a quick ride." Kim said, twisting in her seat to look at Hailie. "Your daddys driving, well, it isnt so good. So bad stuff tends to happen. Remember last year, he crashed up the blue car real bad?"
"Kim-" Marshall exhaled loudly. How many fucking times did he have to tell her, THEY HIT HIM!!! Even the insurance company found him like 10 percent at fault, and the other car like 90. Kim was so STUPID SOMETIMES!
"Well if that happens again," She said, as Hailie nodded and grinned. "If you dont have your seat belt on you might have to go to the hospital because you will get hurt."
"How come you dont have your seatbelt on?" Hailie questioned.
"Hailie, just listen to your mother." Marshall said, glancing at Kim out of the corner of his eyes. "Keep your seatbelt on, and hold on. We almost there."
"Whos, K-U-R-T - R-U-S-S-E-L?" Hailie said, pronouncing every letter on the billboard as she read it.
"Some old guy," Marshall shrugged and grinned, relieved when he finally saw the entrance to the zoo parkinglot. Now if they could only find a parkingspace...
When they found a parkingspace, they got out of the car, Kim grabbed her purse and a backpack that had their lunch in it, (they were going to eat it at a picnic table somewhere around here) and Marshall opened the door for Hailie, helping her down onto the cement of the parkinglot. Hailie clung to his hand, looking around at all of the other cars. It was hot outside, she was wearing blue shorts and a blue tank top, and sandals. Her curly blond hair was in pigtails.
"For someone who doesnt want to go to the zoo, your excited to get there..." Kim commented as Hailie pulled Marshall towards the gates.
"I told you, the zoos a great idea." Marshall said, proud of his idea. "Only a genious would come up with that."
"Well, why dont you thank Von for suggesting it." Kim said teasingly.
"Cant get cut no slack eh?" Marshall shook his head as they entered the zoo.
"I wanna eat..." Hailie said, stopping in her steps. Marshall haulted, mid step, almost walking into her at her abrupt stop.
"We gotta sit down somewhere, Hai." He said, stepping around her and looking around at the surroundings. There was a picnic ground off to the side, and on the opposite side there was the animals. "C'mon," He ushered her towards the picnic tables. "Over here."
When they sat down, Kim opened the backpack, pulled out 3 water bottles, and 3 bologna sandwiches, and placed them in front of each of them. Marshall raised an eyebrow. Bologna? Oh well, he'd eat anything right about now.
"Mom, dont you have anything else?" Hailie wrinkled her nose. "I hate bologna, plus I dont like mustard on it, and you put mustard on it! Ew!"
"There shouldnt be mustard on your sandwich, Hailie. And yes, I have other stuff." She nodded.
"Here Hai," Marshall inspected his sandwich. "I think this was supposed to be yours... It dont have any mustard." He switched their sandwiches and she took a bite, and nodded at Kim.
"MUCH better." Hailie ate her sandwich and grabbed the backpack on the table. She began looking through it, pulling out a box of animal crackers. "AH HUH!" She said accusingly. "Holding out on me?!"
"You little brat..." Marshall laughed. "Eat your food! C'mon."
"Hailie those are for the carride home," Kim grabbed the animal crackers from her daughter and put them back into the backpack. "Here." She pulled out a can of peanut butter and a stick of celery. "Eat this. Its healthy."
"I dont want this!" Hailie whined. "Mom!"
"Hailie-" Kim gritted her teeth. She needed another ciggarette.... "Look, its good," She dipped the celery in the peanut butter and took a bite. "See?"
Marshall watched her demonstration and looked at Hailie. She was sitting there, across from Kim, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, face turning red. Holy shit, she was pissed. She really wanted those animal crackers eh? He couldnt help but smile at Kim as she tried to get Hailie to eat some celery.
"C'mon Hailie, there isnt anything better than fresh vegetables!" Kim coaxed.
"Except... animal crackers." Hailie sighed.
"Just let her have the fuckin animal crackers... If she eats them all then she can have nothing on the way home." Marshall took the last bite of his sandwich and uncapped his waterbottle.
"Fine." Kim threw the celery back into a plastic bag and capped the peanut butter, tossing it into the backpack and holding out the animal crackers to Hailie.
"I dont want them anymore." Hailie said, turning her nose up at the box of crackers in front of her.
"Hailie Jade!" Kim grunted and threw the animal crackers into the bag. "Lets go look at the animals so we can get the hell out of here."
"I wanna see the flamingos!" Hailie screeched, darting like a bat out of hell across the picnic grounds. Marshall and Kim picked up their stuff and followed her, walking quickly after her.
"Ew, it smells like sh-" Marshall stopped himself. "Poop."
"EXCREAMANT!" Hailie yelled, taking off through the path towards the flamingos.
"What the fuck did she just say?" Marshall looked at Kim.
"Uh, Excrement?" Kim guessed. "I think she thinks it means shit..."
"Does it?"
"I'unno." Kim shrugged.
"Where the hell did she learn that?"
"Just kuz you didnt get anything out of school, doesnt mean she didnt." Kim laughed at the look on Marshalls face. "Im just kidding baby. You know I didnt mean anything by it," She wrapped an arm around his waist and walked closer to him.
"Yeah yeah," He rolled his eyes. "You know, shes gonna be on the track team..."
"What?" Kim laughed, watching their daughter tear through the crowds of people , jumping over rocks and sticks and circling around to run back to them. On Hailies round back she took a leap across a random plant, and it didnt take Nostradomus to predict that she was going to fall.
"Shit!" Marshall yelled, speeding up towards Hailie. Kim let go of him and they took off towards theyre child.
Hailie sat on the ground, laughing, when Marshall got to her side. "Daddy! Did you see that!" She giggled, as he pulled her into his arms and picked her up.
"Yeah baby, I did." Marshall said, hugging her. Thank god she was okay... "You're okay, right baby?" He asked, as Kim sighed and shook her head as Hailie burst into laughter again.
"She doesnt feel pain Marshall, never does." Kim said, thankful that Hailie was alright.
"Im great!" Hailie looked down at her hand, and her smile faded. "Uh oh," She said, looking at her mother.
"What?" Kim asked softly.
Hailie guiltily raised a hand and exposed a tiny cut on the palm of her hand.
"Its okay," Kim said, "I brang bandaids and antibacterial ointment incase something like that happened."
"Dad, can I get down?" Hailie asked, bouncing restlessly against Marshalls chest.
"Yeah," He knelt down and set her on the ground, straightening out her shirt and stood back up again. "Be careful this time please, If we have to go to the hospital on our fun family day thing, I'm gonna be really upset."
"Pissed?" Hailie grinned at her father.
"What!? Dont say that word!" He scolded, hoping Kim didnt catch that. He wasnt that lucky though. Mothers heard everything.
"Marshall! She repeats everything you say, KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED PLEASE! Our 9 year old doesnt need to be cussing, she might grow up to talk like you. Potty mouthed peice of-" She stopped and cleared her throat, putting some ointment on a bandaid and kneeling in front of Hailie.
"You were about to say something Kim?" He raised an eyebrow. Did Kim almost cuss in front of their daughter? But, that was evil. What if she grew up to talk like him!
"No Marshall," Kim said quietly, adjusting the bandaid onto Hailies hand.
"Yeah," Marshall smirked. "Right." He watched her squeeze some ointment onto the bandaid, and what the fuck was that... PREPERATION H? "Kim, Why are you putting hemeroid creme on our daughters hand?!" He asked, confused.
"Marshall, I grabbed your creme instead of the antibacterial stuff..." Marshalls eyes widened. What the fuck!
"Okay, Kim... Look, I-" He blushed and began to talk.
"Mommy, whats a hemeroid!?" Hailie asked, tilting her head to one side as her mother took a new bandage out of the bag and put it on her, preperation h creme free.
"Its-" Kim bit her lip and shrugged. "Its kind of like a-"
"Kim!" He exclaimed. "Nothing Hailie, nevermind. Its just something that Daddys use sometimes."
"Marshall, its okay, its a normal thing. Dont worry," Kim assured him.
"SHUT UP KIM!" His eyes widened.
"Whatever, lets hurry up. Todays turning out longer then Stretch Armstrongs radio show. And thats not a good thing." Kim said, straightening up. "C'mon Hailie, lets go look at the animals so we can get out of here." She took Hailies hand and they started walking.
"Yes!" Hailie screeched, happily. Marshall followed them, watching Hailie skipping along in front of Kim, looking at everything. He didnt know whether she was excited about seeing the animals, or leaving. It didnt matter, she was happy.
"Look at that monkey..." Hailie pointed to the monkey cage and laughed. "ITS SO UGLY!"
"It looks like Mark Walberg." Marshall muttered under his breath. Kim laughed and elbowed him. Secretly she could see the resemblence.
"Dad, can we go see the praire dogs?" Hailie asked, looking at the cave they could walk in to see the praire dogs.
"Yeah." He nodded. "Praire dogs kind of remind me of R Kelley, yanno?" He looked at Kim.
"Ew, I'll wait out here," Kim shuddered and Hailie grabbed Marshalls hand instead. "Those things creep me out, theyre like rats or something."
"Like I said, R Kelley." Marshall winked and dissapeared into the cave with Hailie at his side. Kim shook her head, if this wasnt a fucked up trip to the zoo, she didnt know what was!