xXxSeraphim: u know
xXxSeraphim: *sappy music comes on*
xXxSeraphim: i feel.... bad that im writing this... i mean cant i just learn to get along and not be a total cuntwhore all the time?
xXxSeraphim: *music cuts to eminem- kill you*
xXxSeraphim: MUAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
xXxSeraphim: nope
A/N: *scratches side of arm and looks up* oh yeah.. ummmm *sits all professional like* this is my caught fic... heh. Um its kind of based on something here, like Im sure if any of you have ever been to FFNET and read any of the stories i had posted up there, I was EMINEMZBABYALWYZ... i wrote like.. funny ones sometimes? this is one of my funny ones. i wrote the one about eminem switchin places with britney and performing as her to a parody that he made up onstage while he breakdanced... etc. i was the author of the headless knight and who framed marshall mathers.... with the crazy penguin steph finding D12 and then the investigators that did nothing right (me and nicole). so like i wanna do one of those for this... youll see wht im talkin about im just rambling. if you werent on ffnet or didnt read them... i wish i could show them to you so that you would udnerstand this completely... but i dont have them... ffnet deleted them. this is a continuation of who framed marshall mathers, if u read that u know of my ESTEEMED COLLEAGUE nicole who costarred in it wit moi... shewont be in this, because i dont own her, and we have had a falling out. :( but yeah. background information... i became a shoeshiner for eminem... and this is how he knows where to find me... (please.. just dont ask)
disclaimer: i dont own marshall mathers.... ummm i dont own von carlisle.. or any of the fiction writers that may appear in here. i do however own myself. ummm so yeah. and if u wanna like... sue me? u wont get much kuz thats about all i own.
"Hey Man," Von Carlisle (Kuniva) stepped into his friends house, glancing down at his shoes as he did. Marshall Mathers opened the door wider and started walking away. Von could close the door behind him. "Your shoes are really-"
"SHINY?!" Marshall turned, face red, his voice cracked. Von raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat.
"Well, um, yes..." He was almost afraid of what Marshalls response would be if he had disagreed.
Marshall looked around, as if he thought he was being watched, and ran over to the kitchen, pulling the double doors closed and slamming shut all the windows. Von watched him curiously. He just wanted to talk to Marshall about a song track for the new album... not be barred into his house by a physcopathic maniac.
"Hey man, you okay?" He asked, as Marshall looked around frantically, opening cabinets and closing them again, most of them bouncing open with the force he used to try to shut them as he made his way towards Von again.
"Okay?" He asked, out of breath. "Okay?" He bit his bottom lip. Did no one realize that he had a PHYSCO on his hands? God, its been about 2 years... 2 years since he had lost his mind... "Okay is... not something I am."
"Right..." Von said slowly, staring at his friend. "Um, well, um whats, uh wrong?" He frowned as he watched Marshall pick up the phone and slam it down on the reciever.
"SHES EVERYWHERE! EVERYWHERE! I CANT DO IT ANYMORE..." Marshall said urgently, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down. "You know, steph?"
"Hahaha! Yeah! Shes fuckin-" He changed his mind of saying 'the shit' when he saw the look on Marshalls face, and quickly saved himself, from what? He didnt know. "Uh, Insane..."
"Yeah... I KNOW." Marshall sunk into a kitchen chair and put his head in his hands. "I cant take it anymore. My shoes are so fucking shiny that it hurts to look directly at them, shes doing her job... I tried to fire her but she wont leave.... I cant even stop paying her, I never paid her to begin with... I tried changing the locks but KIM SAW HER WAITING OUTSIDE AND LET HER IN BECAUSE SHE FELT BAD!" He whimpered and shook his head.
"Thats um, rough man." Von shrugged. "Get rid of her another way. Send her on a mission, there are dirty shoes in Ethiopia... share the love!"
"You know," Marshall raised an eyebrow. "Thats a great idea..."
"Just make something up so shes gone for a really long time, maybe even, forever."
"What can I make up?"
"I dont know..." Von thought carefully. "Something weird and stupid that wont ever happen."
"Like, I can tell her to look for....SOMETHING. Some*ONE*," He stood up quickly. "But who?"
"I dont know, you figure it out, listen I need to ask you about-" Von blinked as Marshall bolted from the room screaming,
"THERES NO TIME FOR QUESTIONS!!!"
"Shes rubbin off on him," Von sighed and stood up. He followed his friend up the stairs, taking them two at a time to keep up, and looked around when he got to the top. Where the fuck was he?
---------------
Marshall burst into the shoeshining office, at the end of the hall, he had to give steph her own office, to shine shoes in, because she had thrown a fit and made a scene in the middle of staples.
He looked around, hearing sobs coming from a corner of the room, and walked over to where the desk was, kiddiecornered. Steph was crouched down under the desk, crying hysterically, holding an eminem action figure. He knelt down beside her, feeling bad for what he said to Von earlier, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Ste-uh," He cleared his throat. "Penguin?"
She looked up, eyes wide, full of tears, lip quivering, and sniffled. "Yeah?"
"Whats wrong?" He asked, softly.
"I- Im an immature, opinionated, stupid bitch!" She sobbed, throwing herself into his arms, still clutching the action figure.
"Says who?" He asked, rubbing her back softly.
"These people on the shadyfiction board I belong too!!" She sobbed, into his shoulder, sniffling, and he cringed. She prolly just wiped her nose all over his new fucking shirt and- wait. Shadyfiction board? Uh...
"What the fuck is that?" He wondered outloud.
She shook her head. "Its a site where a bunch of people write stories about you, and they all hate me because I was mean to diamond..." She wailed and buried her face into his shirt.
"Uh... okay.. how old are these people?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I dont know, one of them is 23.. the others could be 2 at the way they act." She sniffled.
"Okay, and you are listening to a few online people that you met online, that are like what, in their 20s? What the hell are they doing writing anything about me anyways? Dont they have things to do? 'GROWN UP' things?"He mimicked."Your not the immature one."
She stopped sobbing suddenly and nodded. "You know what Eminem?"
"Marshall." He correctly, boredly. She always called him eminem, he hated it.
"Your right! But still they were so mean to me... "
"Want me to talk to them?"
"They wont believe its you anyways... Theyll be like "SERAPHIMS FULL OF SHIT... AGAIN!" She said in a high pitched mimicky voice.
"Well, why dont you..." He grinned evilly. "Find them. Find them and bring them to me." This was perfect. Not only could it get Steph out of the house, but how the hell was she ever going to find a bunch of kids that she met online?
"And you will talk to them?" She said, sitting back against the wall, her grip on the action figure loosening.
"Yes... just. Find, them." He said slowly, as if she wouldnt understand, which she probably wouldnt.
"SWEET!" She screamed, hopping to her feet! "I GET TO BE A PI AGAIN!" She started jumping up and down.
"I take it shes found her calling?" Von asked, yawning from the doorway, as Steph ran to her desk and grabbed a magnifying glass and a list of people she had to find.
"Yeah..." Marshall said, turning and walking out of the room behind Von. "Now whatd you wanna ask me?"
---------
An hour later, Steph set out on her journey... A pack of things on her shoulder, in a duffel bag. Things she would need. She had a list of all the fanfiction writers she was goin to bring to Eminems house... first on the list was Savannah, an ex moderator there at Shadyfics, one of Stephs best friends. next on the list was Pyro, another ex moderator and also one of Stephs friends there. The next was none other than webmistress herself, Jenn. A writer, CrazyEvilDru, and the other was.. well. Diamond. She doesnt fit into any special category. She wasnt a moderator, or a friend, or even a writer, well, at least not a good one. I guess you could just call her a bitch.
Besides the list, she had a pizza box, stocked full of pizza, a can of coke, her cell phone, keys to her chevette, a picture of her mice and birds, who were in good care of Eminem himself, and a lighter.
Throwing her bag into the chevette at the end of Eminems long driveway, she got into the front seat and turned the car on. First on the list... Savannahs.
Speeding her little chevette down to florida, she stopped in front of a cute house on a quiet street. Savannahs, it was, beacuse she had done her research.
"That was the quickest car trip ever!" Steph sighed and changed from shoes to flip flops. This summer weather was great. She walked up to the door, looking curiously around the yard. There was a big plastic flamingo in the front yard, that was completely clear, with some kind of, white powder in it. She squinted. Was it... oh my god. It was. A flamingo full of crack. She shook her head. This was DEFINATLY Savannahs house.
She knocked on the door, and waited as she heard footsteps running to the door. The door opened and there stood two girls, staring at her.
"Can we help you?" One girl said, who had a plastic sandwich baggy full of... crack, stuck to her forehead. That had to be Savannah.
"Uh, yes. Im here to find Savannah, from Shadyfics, can you help me?"
"Who wants to know?" The other girl asked, with attitude.
"Seraphim wants to know, THATS WHO!" Steph said, snapping her fingers and weaving her neck back and forth, ghettoly.
"OMG STEPHY?!" The girls shouted, throwing themselves at her to give her a hug.
"WAIT WAIT!" Steph hugged them and stepped back. "Your Savannah," She pointed to the girl with the crack baggy on her forehead. "But... who you be?" She cleared her throat. "Sorry... hard to get out of ghetto mode."
"MOG!" The girl screamed. "ITS ME!!!"
"MOG?!" Steph said happily. "PYRO!!!!!!"
"YES ITS ME!" Pyro exclaimed.
"Come on in," Gi (Savannah) pulled her inside and shut the door. "Where have you been?"
"Yeah, you havent been online in like... 3 hours?" Pyro muttered, as they walked through the house to the livingroom. Steph looked around at all the decorations. There was framed pictures of baggies of crack, and the carpet was sprinkled with crack everywhere she looked. Baggies were taped to walls, pictures, the tv had a special about crack and its affects on people.
"Ive come in search of you two, actually. I didnt know Pyro was going to be here... But Im glad she is. COME ON GUYS! WE HAVE TO FIND 3 MORE AUTHORS, AND WE ARE ALL GOING TO TALK TO EMINEM."
Gi blinked, and looked to Pyro. "Shes crazy."
"Yeah yeah, get in the car. Uh, just remember to hide the baggies of crack if we get pulled over. I am a PI agent you know. This could do damage to me rep." She grinned.
"Whatever, I wanna meet Eminem," Pyro said, grinning. "The real eminem... not.... you Savannah and **** pretending to be eminem."
"Hey!" Gi pouted. "We were good as Eminem... admit it."
"Id give us an oscar." Steph pondered. "NOW GET IN THE FUCKING CHEVETTE... MY FIC CAN ONLY BE SO LONG!"
"Fine fine," The girls sighed and followed her out to the chevette.
"Can we stop at a beach?" Steph asked, looking at the water shining.
"I thought your fic could only be so long..." Gi said, rolling her eyes.
"Well.... its my fic, isnt it?" Steph said, sighing and pulling into a parkinglot at the beach.
The three girls walked down to the beach, steph still clad in flip flops. "Its really a beautiful- OH MY GOD!" Steph screamed, pointing a head of them to what looked like a huge whale, on the sand near the water.
"OH GOD, THATS A HUGE WHALE!! ITS STRANDED! BEACHED WHALE, BEACHED WHALE!!" Gi screamed in horror.
"Guys, that dont look like a whale..." Pyro frowned.
Steph walked up to it and narrowed her eyes. "It is a person.. or so it appears..." Her eyes widened. "I think it looks familiar... It looks like... oh my god!" She grinned and looked at the other two.
"What?" Gi asked.
"It looks like that picture I saw of CrazyEvilDru!" Steph said, pointing.
"HEY YOU IMMATURE LITTLE FUCKS, GET AWAY FROM ME!" Dru screamed.
"We need you to come with us to Eminems, okay? I was looking for you." Steph said, raising an eyebrow.
"Hey, whats that sticking out of her ass?" Pyro asked, pointing to the other side of Dru.
"Oh god, it looks like a leg!" Gi screamed. "SOMEONES BEEN DIPPING INTO MY CRACK!"
"Help me pull it out!" Steph yelled, grabbing the leg and starting to pull. "Its really up there!"
"So this is why Drus been such a bitch lately," Gi said, grabbing the leg and pulling also.
With Pyros help, they managed to pull the leg out, which was connected to a body, and pretty soon a teenage girl was sittin in the sand, staring at them.
"Who are you, and why were you up Drus ass?" Pyro raised an eyebrow and wore a look of disgust.
"Im Diamond... who are you?" The girl said, standing up.
"I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT THAT GUN!" Steph snapped her fingers.
"WHO ARE YOU? YOU FUCKING BITCH!?" Diamond said, flipping out.
"Um, Seraphim." Steph stated calmly.
"Pyro.'
"Savannah..." Gi nodded.
"Now why the fuck were you up Drus ass?" Steph shook her head.
"WHY DO YOU CARE SHITHEAD? I FUCKING HATE YOU I HOPE YOU DIE BITCH, YOUR SO STUPID!!!" Diamond screamed.
"Okay. So, Eminem wants to talk to you guys...." Steph STATED.
"Yeah right. HIS HANDWRITING IS CLEARLY NOT EMINEMS! THE STROKES GO TO FAR DOWN TO BE HIS!" Dru exclaimed, sitting up.
"Okay." Gi blinked. "We already established you have to much time on your hands..."
"Um..." Dru glared. "By the way.. There was something even further up my ass than Diamond... Get it out for me will you dears?" Dru bent over, nearly causing an eclipse.
"Okay," Steph wrinkled her nose and reached up Drus ass bravely, grabbing someones hand and pulling as hard as she could. Out popped another girl, who landed on the ground in front of them. "Who you?"
"Im Jenn!" Jenn smiled sweetly.
"Great..." Gi rolled her eyes.
"Well. Eminem wants you too. In fact... Thats everyone on my list!" Steph grinned. "LETS GET GOING!"
Everyone shrugged and followed her to the car, Pyro and Gi talking only to themselves, Diamond was behind them, bitching about something to Jenn, and Dru was behind them... as they made their way to the car.
-----------------
The drive back to Michigan was a long one. Dru took up most of the backseat, Jenn was inbetween her and Diamond, and Steph was driving, with Gi and Pyro in the front seat, talking excitedly about how they were going to meet eminem.
"Are you sure that we are meeting the real eminem? Because... I would really like some proof... like a handwriting sample!" Dru spoke up. The whole car was quiet, before Diamond agreed.
"Yeah... I mean, DOESNT NATE HAVE A WEBCAM?" She said, tilting her head to one side.
"Uh," Steph blinked. "What the hell? You'll see Eminem in about an hour, alrighty? The penguin dont lie about that!"
"The penguin?" Jenn spoke, rolling her eyes.
"THE MOTHERFUCKING PENGUIN!" Steph yelled in triumpth, though no one knew what at.
"Um, okay steph, its okay, just-EYES ON THE FLIPPING ROAD!" Gi screamed, bracing her hands on the dashboard.
"These cunt ass motherfuckers can blow my dick and suck the shit out of my pimply white motherfucking ass." Diamond said blankly, shaking her head.
"Look, I dont want this type of language... FLIPPING IS NOT TOLERATED SAVANNAH!" Jenn yelled.
"YEAH !!! GI, YOUR A SELF RITOUES CUNT!" Dru yelled suddenly.
"How many times do I have to say it? I WILL NOT HAVE THIS TYPE OF FLAMING!" Jenn yelled exasperatedly. "THATS IT! SAVANAH, YOUR OUT OF THE FORUM!"
"Diamond, can you like, hand me that bottle of lotion by your foot?" Pyro turned around and reached for the pear smelling lotion on the floor of stephs car.
"ALRIGHT PYRO, YOUR OUT TOO. ANYONE ELSE WANNA?" Jenn yelled. "SERAPHIM, YOUR THE WORST OF ALL!"
"But I didnt say anything?" Steph glanced in her rear view mirror at Jenns head.
"WHO CARES? I HATE YOU!" Jenn shook her head. "Your out too."
"Um... alright." Steph shrugged. "I was banned before, but sure."
"WELL NOW YOUR DOUBLE BANNED. AND DONT TALK BACK TO ME. IM THE BEST FUCKING WEBMISTRESS EVER! AND YOU CAN ALL KISS MY ASS IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, except for you dru, and you too diamond." Jenn hugged her friends and grinned smugly at Gi, who had turned around in her seat to watch.
Gi shook her head and looked at Steph. "I love you steph."
"I love you too gi."
"THATS DOUBLE STANDARDS!" Jenn screamed, face turning red from being so pissed off.
"THATS RIGHT, THOSE ARE NOT ALLOWED!" Dru screamed.
"I love you Dru." Jenn smiled at her friend.
"Is it because Im always agreeing with you? Or because Im always up your ass? Or because you are afraid I might sit on you?" Dru asked, batting her eyelashs. "I love you too though..."
"You know I would never bann you from my website, even if you started most of the problems, and took sides and was a horrible moderator. Because, I love you!"
"SHIT IM BEING PULLED OVER!" Steph said as sirens came on behind her.
"Why?" Pyro asked, watching her pull to the side of the road and turn off the car.
"I dont know, my rejection sticker probably." Steph pointed to the big red R sticker on the bottom right of her windshield.
"Excuse me mam." The cop said, standing at Stephs window. "Are you aware it is illegal to drive with a large aquatic animal in your car?"
"Yeah," Steph smirked. "Are you aware that your fly is open?"
"Steph, hes a cop..." Pyro whispered.
"Oh yeah." Steph raised an eyebrow. "well sir, thats not a large aquatic animal.. Its just dru. Im sorry for the inconvienence."
"SHIT, I FORGOT TO HIDE MY BAGGIES OF CRACK. THE ONE THAT BELONG TO ME FOR DECORATION PURPOSES!" Gi screamed, and the cop bent down to look in the car.
"Mamm, Im gonna have to take you down to the station." He said.
"WAIT JUST A SECOND!" Dru yelled. "WE DONT KNOW FOR SURE IF THE CRACK BELONGS TO GIANNA."
"It does belong to me, look it says my whole name and address and contact information on the bag...." Gi argued.
"AND WE DONT KNOW IF SHE WAS EVEN GOING TO USE IT." Dru argued more. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? YOU CAN EVEN ASSUME IT IS CRACK...."
"Gi fix me some lines, will you?" Steph licked her lips and then shook her head, remembering the cop was right there. "I mean, FINE! IM A DRUG ADDICT! "
"OH MY GOD! NO!" Diamond screamed. "I LOVE YOU BEACUSE YOUR A DRUG ADDICT, AND, I FEEL BAD FOR YOU. HAS ANYONE EVER HAD A DRUG PROBLEM? ITS NOT EASY TO OVERCOME, SO DONT JUDGE HER. ALRIGHT? IM SURE ITS NOT HER FAULT THAT SHE GOT BANNED FROM SHADYFICS! SHE WAS JUST LONELY!"
"Oh, Diamonds right!" Jenn cooed. "But shes still fucking banned.
"Whatever..." The cop shrugged. "Listen, I deal with these cases everday, and since DRU here says that it might not be this young ladys drugs, and it might nt even be drugs, and she might not even be using it even tho theres drug paraphanilia everywhere in this car, I will not arrest you. And diamond your right, LETS GIVE THIS LADY SOME SUPPORT! SHE HAS A DRUG PROBLEM!"
With that, the cop walked away, and Steph looked around, not sure what was happening, and began to drive away.
"I cant wait to get out of this car, it will be alot more peaceful without these 3 in here!" Dru snapped.
"HEY!" The three in the front seat echoed.
"STOP THE HARRASSMENT!" Jenn screamed, slapping Steph in the back of the head.
"Um, whatever." Steph made a disgusted face and continued driving. "we are almost there."
"oh god, I have to get myself ready... DOES ANYONE HAVE A POPSICLE? I JUST NEED SOME PRACTICE..." Jenn screamed.
"I might have some, after all, I come stocked and equipped with food at all times, look at me." Dru said proudlly, opening her pockets to reveal countless items of snackfood.
"NOT IN MY CAR YOUR NOT!" Steph whipped around, and Pyro grabbed the wheel, holding on for dear life. "But Dru, Ill take some of that.. smartfood popcorn."
"smartfood?" Gi grinned. "I think we should give it to Diamond. she needs it."
"WHAT THE FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING ASSHOLES ILL KICK YOUR FUCKING ASSES AND MAKE YOU EAT YOUR OWN SHIT AND THEN ILL SHOVE RANDOM OBJECTS UP YOUR ASS UNTIL THEY COME OUT YOUR STUPID MOTHERFUCKING THROAT!" Diamond screamed, practically in Jenns ear.
"Thats it baby," Jenn said, looking at Diamond. "Just ignore them, they wont bother you if you dont let them get to you... Im glad you were so quiet and didnt say anything, your SO perfect." Jenn hugged Diamond and looked at Steph. "STOP INSTIGATING THIS! ITS YOUR FAULT! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! NOW I JUST BANNED YOUR IP ADDRESS. HOW DO U LIKE THAT!?" Jenn yelled.
"Its pretty good." Steph shrugged. "Well, we're here!"
Everyone looked up at the huge house in front of them, in awe, even Steph, who had forgotten what it looked like. Even though it had only been a day. She parked the chevette in the little parking corner in the side of the driveway reserved for her, and they all piled out of the car.
Steph led the way up to the front door, and searched for her key. "Damn what was it... this one.. no, no thats not it thats to the shoe shiner kit.. what about-"
Gi rolled her eyes and sighed, reaching up and pressing the large doorbell button, as steph continued searchin for her key.
"Penguin!" The door opened and Hailie stood there, looking up at her. Steph dropped the keys and smiled at the little girl.
"Hey Hai, whats up? Im home!"
"Great," Hailie smiled and turned around. "DAD, PENGUINS HOME!"
"HAILIE, I SAID NOT TO ANSWER THE DOOR AND I MEANT IT!" He reached down and grabbed Hailie, picking her up and holding her out in front of him. She giggled and kicked her feet in an effort to get down.
"WATCH OUT... HES ABUSING HER!" Diamond pointed and screamed from behind Jenn.
"YOU HORRIBLE FATHER!" Jenn screamed.
"Im not-" Em protested.
"DAMMIT, NOW HES STARTING! LISTEN, UNLESS YOUR LAST NAME IS MATHERS WE DONT KNOW WHAT GOES ON IN THIS HOUSE!" Dru sighed.
"What the fuck." Em looked up, suddenly noticing the large figure behind the 5 girls on his front steps. "Penguin, whatd you do? Rob seaworld?"
"No," Steph smirked. "But listen. These 3... er... yeah. These 3," She pointed down the line at Diamond, Jenn and Dru. "Theyve been harrassing us all for some time now."
"Really?" Em raised an eyebrow, "These are the 3?"
Steph nodded. "There is 3... one... two... three.... uno dos.. "
"OKAY, YOUR NOT SPANISH!" Gi screamed.
"What about her?" Em set Hailie down and nodded at Gi. "Hailie go upstairs." He said absentmindedly, and the young girl ran to the stairs.
"No, thats gi. I love her." Steph smiled
"DOUBLE STANDARD!! DOUBLE STANDARD!!" Jenn screamed.
"Man, I cant stand these bitches..." Gi said shoving Steph aside and walking forward into Eminems house. "So, Eminem..." She shoved a decorative baggy of crack into his chest and looked around as he grabbed the baggy and looked at steph with surprise. "Who decorated your house?"
"Kim." He shrugged. "And I dont know, I guess my aunt and-"
"Yeah, yeah... well, I would have thought Kim would have had some DECORATIVE CRACK in here somewhere." Gi glared at Dru.
"Oh, yeah. She um, it wouldnt last as a decorative item..." Em smirked.
"HOW DO WE KNOW IT WAS HERS?" Dru screamed.
"Oh it was." Em nodded. "So yeah... yall can come inside..if you want. Except you big girl... as big as my house is, you wont fit." He grinned at his own remark. "And yeah... please try not to step anywhere... the city hates paving potholes."
"HI EMINEM!" Jenn grinned sweetly at him. "LISTEN, I DONT KNOW WHAT STEPHS TOLD YOU, BUT IT IT DOESNT MATTER. SHE HAS NO OPINION, IT DOESNT MATTER... SEE ONLY MINE DOES."
"Uh huh..." Em shook his head. "PENGUIN!!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING?" He pointed to Diamond who was standing there quietly, staring at Pyro.
"Probably thinking of whos ass she wants to crawl up next..." Steph shrugged.
"Stop staring." Pyro glared at her, and flipped her off.
"PYRO, IF YOU DONT STOP RIGHT NOW-" Jenn looked at eminem and grinned. "Do you like a woman that takes charge?" Jenn purred.
"Not one that looks like you...." Eminem narrowed his eyes.
"IM CALLING THE FBI! AND SHADY RECORDS!" Dru could be heard yelling from outside Eminems front door.
"HIDE THE CRACK!" Gi shouted.
"Shed get along great with Kim," Em grinned at Gi. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"LANGUAGE!" Jenn screamed.
"NO WHAT THE FUCK IS-" Eminem screamed as Diamond wrenched his pants down. "I KNOW, YOUR A FAN, YOU LIKE MY ASS BUT-" his eyes widened and he turned around and pushed diamond against the wall, and backed up behind steph, who gave diamond a funny look.
"Stop trying to crawl up everyones ass, jeez...." She sighed. "What was the point of me going to find them anyways?"
"Um," Em shrugged. "So Seraphim could write a completely offensive and bitchy story about you guys..."
"YES!" Pyro exclaimed randomly. Everyone stared, and Gi tilted her head, tapping on a window as she examined Eminems house.
"Well, not that her incredibly offensive and bitchy story is over, are we free to go?" Gi asked boredly. "As much as I enjoyed this..."
"YOU FUCKING CUNT I HATE YOU OH MY GOD YOU SUCK SHIT OUT OF MY ASS!" Diamond screamed at Steph, who blinked.
"Okay." She nodded.
"DAMMIT PENGUIN, THIS IS WHY WE DONT MEET PEOPLE OFFLINE!" Eminem smacked his forehead. "Now, get these assrapers, popsicle fucking shamoo sized idiots out of my house."
"Gladly." Steph Pyro and Gi echoed, advancing on Jenn and Diamond.
x
guess whos back
back again
seraphims back
tell a friend
x