The Stalker Sagas
The Stalker Sagas
When I entered the University of Georgia as a freshman, my young,supple mind was quickly influenced and warped by the extreme freakiness of the people around me. For some reason my cheerful demeanor and friendly personality have been catalysts for a series of incidents that involve extremely overly enthusiastic individuals that normal society would commonly refer to as "freaks" who follow me around and attempt to hold me as a captive audience to their insane stories. Each story is posted at the conclusion of the relationship with that person, in hopes that they will not read this page and kill me in the night. Thankyou for your time.
August:
Aaron, The Drunk Guy
This was my first drunken college experience. Unfortunately I was not inebriated at the time, so it was a rather troubling situation for me. During the second week of my freshman year I recieved a call in my dorm room on a Saturday night. It was around 10pm (yeah, I know. Why was I home?), and I was just enjoying some popcorn and UGACable 12 programs so I welcomed the distraction. A young and very confused man was on the other line asking for Amber. I told him that he had the wrong number, and then he asked for like, Brianna or something. I told him that she wasn't here either and he was really quite bummed. He then explained that he was on his third 40 ounce of the night, so he was a little confused. Then he asked my name, and I told him that, and where I live, how old I am, my room mate's name, all other sorts of information. Note-I am a big moron. After a goodly bit, he explained that he needed to go for a bit, but that he would call me back. I didn't expect him to at all, I mean this guy was sooo hammered. There was no way that he'd remember my number. But sure enough, ten minutes later I picked up the phone to hear the cracked out sound of "Aaron". We talked for about 30 minutes about the Simpsons, and life; then he tells me about how he's calling me on his cell phone and he's just wandering the streets of Monroe,GA right now. I thought he was a student. I was wrong. He failed out last year, he would be a sophmore now. I soon began to realize the quality of this young man, and when he said he needed to leave so that he could puke, I was happy when he didn't call me back.
But the next day...He called. While he was sober. I was disturbed. He was also calling me long distance, on his cell phone, which is not CHEAP. But he kept calling, day after day. I told my room mate about this, and she began to live in fear of the cracked out loser who knows where we live and what we looked like. I was terrified of the sound of the ringing phone; I never answered it for an entire month. Then one day he told me about how he was going to join the Marines. I was so full of joy. I bid him a jolly farewell, and I haven't heard from him since then. I almost miss his totally incoherent thoughts, and rants about how much he loves black people, and stories about his childhood. Aaron is just like the boy next door...well, if your boy next door is a 19 year old drunken college drop out who has nothing better to do but call up random girls from his old school. Poor fella. He was actually one of the least harmless stalkers I've had thus far, but he started an eeiry trend that has only gotten worse with the progressing months...
January:
Aaron the Drunk Guy II
Nearly six months after my initial "Aaron Experience", I recieved a call at approximately 2:40am on a Monday night. Both my room mate, Jenn, and I figured that this was yet another prank call from one of my oh-so-cool "band friends". But instead of hearing the strains of "Bulldawg March Medley" in my ear, I was greeted by a blood curdling "WAASSSSUUUUPPP?!".
I didn't have to even ask who it was. I already knew.
It was Aaron, The Drunken Stalker...Our conversation was short but meaningless. I really cherish our times together. Like I cherish a root canal. This is a transcription of our discussion in the wee hours of the morning.
ATDG: I'm so drunk right now. I need to talk to you.
Me: Dude, I'm asleep. You're drunk? What a suprise.
ATDG: I'm SOOOO SORRY!! Dammit! I always do this! But yeah, I am. Why aren't you? WHOO-HOO!!!
Me: It's 2am on a Tuesday morning..So, uh I'm going back to sleep now,k?
ATDG: I'm coming over right now! With a 1/5 of whiskey and we're going to drink together! Yay!!
Me: Naw kid, see- you're going to stay there and I'm going back to bed. That's how these things work. G'night!
ATDG: So I have to leave now,huh? I see how it is. Don't go!!!
Me: Later,bro.
Ah, yes. That was refreshing. In any case, I hope that he doesn't call again or else I'll be forced to take the advice of my good friend Tommy, and invest in a personal bodyguard by the name of "Tony" who will follow me around campus at all times. I might want to also get some sort of protection for roomie Jenn while I'm at it, but you know..funds being the way they are...she's feisty, so I'm sure she'll do well on her own.
More to come later, when I'm no longer in fear for my life
Infinity