FAQ:Black People
FAQ: All About Black People
I have recieved these questions from people of all colors and ethnic backgrounds, and it's almost flattering to see people so interested in "Black American culture".
**Disclaimer: As with the rest of this site, this section is for entertainment purposes only. I am not racist or mean, and neither are my friends. We just are able to laugh at our own stupidity and of course, the ignorance of others. If that offends you in any way- lighten up or leave**
Q:What's a Nubian?
A:A Nubian is quite simply a black person. We all originally came from Africa, which was called "Nubia" in ancient times. I am commonly referred to as a "Nubian Princess", which is a reference to the tribal kingdoms of ancient Africa. For further information on this topic please feel free to watch the first ten minutes of Chasing Amy directed by Kevin Smith. I feel that this will adequately explain any further queries on this topic.
Q:What does a black person's hair really look like?
from Brandi,3/14/01
A:*sigh* It really depends on the person. The most stereotypical texture of "black hair" is very coarse in texture,dark in color, and tightly curled. This type of hair is extremely versatile, and has prompted some of the most "innovative" hair fashions. There are still many black women that choose to wear their hair in it's natural state. And yes, sometimes it does look like a "fro". And yes, if I shaved my head right now and let my hair grow out again, I could mold it into a fro. No, I will never do this for you or anyone else.
Q:What's a weave?
A: Why is everyone so interested in black hair care? I mean yeah, we have our own section the shampoo aisle, but really...ahem, anyways, a weave is when hair(sometimes plastic and sometimes human/horse blend) is secured to the original hair by means of gluing or sewing. The hair is not glued or sewn into the scalp, but rather to the roots of the existing hair. This is a very costly procedure ranging from 60 to 120 dollars per sitting plus the cost of embarrassment from people pointing at the mismatched hair placed loftily atop your head. It is extremely important that the transplanted hair is at least close to the color/texture of the original hair, and that the weave is properly washed and brushed. If these things do not happen then you will be referred to as "toe up" or "beat down". These are not terms of endearment.
Q:Can I call you "my nigga"?
A:No.
Q: Why did that guy just call you "shawdy"?
A:"Shawdy" and "Whoady" like it's predecessor, "Boo" is a term of endearment. It can be easily interchanged between the sexes, and merely is a way of showing familiarity. However, that guy just called me that because he believes that I might find him attractive, and hopes that this gesture of well being might entice me to converse with him further though he clearly possesses gold teeth and was earlier seen hitting on that 12 year old girl. He is sadly mistaken.
Q: Do you like rap music?
A: Yes, I do enjoy rap music. But like most other black people around the country, I also enjoy a wide variety of other musical genres. Rap is not my favorite music type, especially since the likes of Master P and other booty rap "artists" have strayed from the formula of making real music and only create abominations that are barely good enough to bounce to in a club. Happily, rap is a steadily growing music genre due to its ability to often cross the boundaries of color. Plus as D.L. Hugely once quipped,"Everyone wants to be black..'til the police show up."
Q: Can you teach me how to dance?
A: Look, in order to dance, you first must possess rhythm. Yeah, I'm sorry. I've had many failed attempts, one of these being my dear friend Kirk. I cannot teach those who are unable to move their hips, and another common problem is the "white man's overbite". This is most frequently spotted in dance clubs all around Athens,GA as young men attempt to "get their groove on" and grimace out of pain/pleasure. A wild flailing of arms accompanies this act as well as random and horrifying pelvic thrusts. There is absolutely nothing I can do about this problem except for laugh and attempt to get out of harm's way.
Q: Why can I not call you "my nigga"?
A: Dude, I don't understand why you want to so bad. I hate that word, in any context, spoken by anyone. It has never been used as a term of endearment until the mid to late twentieth century, and just by continuing to use it, we push history back hundreds of years. That word connotes hatred and anger in its most basic form. It's not a friendly word, so just give up man.
Q: Whoa, I'm sorry. But anyways, why do you guys have you own month? I mean, why isn't there a "White History Month"?
A: The Native Americans have their own month, the Asian Americans, Women, Hispanic Americans, and other minorities also have their own months. That's why they're called the minorities. They don't give months to White American males simply because well..every month is White History month. I will admit that it does seem a bit tough to be a white male these days, since you get blamed for every offensive thing that has ever happened in the history of the US. But hey, it's okay. Your ancestors just had some wiiiiild times,man.
Q: Do black people tan?
A: If by that,you mean can we get darker, then the answer is yes. However, if you mean "do you lay out in the sun with the sole purpose of getting darker and possibly enjoying the later effects of wrinkles and cancer?" Then the answer is no. We don't want to get darker. We don't need to. I could go into all the different shades of black people and what kind of social connotations this bears, but it's way too confusing. Just know that yes, we do get darker, no it's not on purpose, and yes, sunburn is possible.
BIG IMPORTANT NOTE: This section of Infinity is closed, therefore I will not be responding to any more questions or suggestions. We here at site thankyou for your interest, but hope that now you will actually go and obtain jobs or seek other forms of leisure and entertainment. Yep!
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