“Touch” 
by Bennu

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Just one touch.

First it was a crystalline-white glove, cleaner than
anything I had ever seen in my rotting life. Just one
touch, a brush of a single fingertip between my eyes
that slaughtered every one of my demons with its
power, slaughtered them and replaced them with You, an
angel who had slipped out of His stained-glass cage
and gone roaming with Death in the cold night.

Just one touch, and I knew I’d sold whatever soul I
had. I didn’t care; something unspeakably beautiful
was exploding through me, cleaning out the devil in my
body and cutting me to be perfect - almost perfect,
that is, almost good enough for You. Just one touch,
and I knew I’d follow You through Hell and back for
just one more.

One more precious-perfect touch, so light I might be
imagining it, so sweet it turns my everything to honey
and sends tremors through the spiderwebs beneath my
skin. That’s what I dream of when I think You might
not mind; otherwise there is nothing I care to hope
for. Just one touch, that’s all I ever wanted, ever
needed, ever was.

Maybe when I’m perfect You’ll smile at me and never
leave me. You give me far more than I deserve, and yet
I always starve for more. You make me whole, then rake
my back and break me open. It pleases You, I know, and
that keeps me alive. But You always leave me alone
again, and I scream inside because I know...just one
more touch from You and I would have been free.