Spanish Fly

By Ann V.

Disclaimer: I’m so ashamed.

Warnings: rampant heterosexuality, MerylxVash ( XP ),

Mystery slash, scary Meryl, drugs, drunkenness, fun.

Part 8: Oh, the Prequel to Lemony Goodness... 

Or, “Good God! Not HET!”

Before Wolfwood or Vash could manage to do anything,

anything at all, Meryl got home—with a box of

pink-frosted doughnuts. Vash was on them in a

second, scarfing like there was no tomorrow.

“Wolfwood, if I gave you a video camera, a hundred

double dollars, and told you Midvalley was having an

orgy down at the Yellow Rose, what would you do?”

Meryl said coyly—and threateningly.

“Uh… leave and enjoy my life, and ignore whatever

possible evil you could be up to?” He said,

sweatdropping as Meryl invaded his space and grew

fangs.

“That’s a good answer.” She shoved the camera and the

hundred bucks into his hands and forcibly shoved him

out of the hotel room. Once the Wolf was gone, she

dusted off her hands, put the “Do Not Disturb” sign on

the door, and locked every lock they had. She could

still hear Vash munching so she assumed all was well.

She snuck off to her own room. Her normal clothes just

would not do right now. She opened her simple

suitcase; she had five sets of the same outfit and no

party clothes, thus proving that insurance workers

don’t have lives. She took everything out piece by

meticulous piece, and then glanced suspiciously around

the room.

As it would turn out, insurance workers are a truly

evil kind of creature, because her suitcase had a false

wall, underneath which was some of the most interesting

stuff you’ll never be lucky enough to see in your

entire life (unless of course you’ve ever been to the

Warehouse*, I think they carry them). Even then, you may

never see some of these things because Meryl may have

invented them herself. Try not to think about it.

Meanwhile:

Wolfwood could confirm that Meryl had not lied to him

because as soon as he entered the Yellow Rose a mob

of naked and attractive people attacked him. Pretty

soon, Wolfwood really honestly didn’t care about Meryl,

or blondes, or even those pesky vows of chastity.

Double Meanwhile:

“Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!” Dominique clung to

her still-mysterious companion. 

“Wow, when did you start to sound sober?” Mystery

companion said.

“I don’t know. Probably somewhere between crying out

the same amount of liquor I put in me and Midvalley

ruining the atmosphere.” She muttered, still using a

human crutch.

“Aw, you poor thing. How about we go back and get

smashingly drunk and give you a make-over.” The

mystery person patted Dominique on the head all

nice-like. Dominique made a pathetic sniffling noise.

“That’s really nice of you, Elendira.” Okay Dominique,

ruin it for everyone. Fine. All right, Elendira

can be a nice person and so she half-carried and

half-dragged Dominique back to Dhimitri. She also led

Dominique in the back way (there’s always a back way)

so as to avoid confrontation with any of the people on

either of the ladies’ blacklists for that mid-afternoon.

Upon reaching Elendira’s room, they opened the mini

fridge, got totally verschnockered and then discovered

that Elendira had an entire collection of stuff in

Wildisthewind*.

Is everything clear? Do we understand? Okay then. I

really don’t wanna write a VashXMeryl. But anyways, in

the name of “I’m not an elitist bisexual who hates

straight women and normal people”, I feel it needs to

be done. So Meryl has pretty much done the same thing

as Dominique, and in fact you can take the intro part

and replace certain words with certain other words and

get exactly what happened. Let us do that now. 

One slinky dress, some perfume, personal deodorant,

and mascara later, Meryl stood before her

responsibility’s door. She held the box containing her

creation behind her back and knocked. There was no

response. She knocked again. She pressed her ear

against the door. There was some mild cursing. Then, silence.

She pressed her head closer to the door. Still

silence. Not a single sound. Then the door opened and

one over-balanced Meryl fell into one very confused

Vash the Stampede. Meryl blushed and stood up straight.

Author’s notes: I really don’t want to write the next 

chapter… It’s nasty.

God, this chapter sucked.

* The Warehouse is a truly evil store in Australia.

Evil in the perverted way. Like Chapter 5.

* “Wildisthewind” is a Bowie song, and a shade of

cosmetics. Shimmery blue and kick-ass.

Coming Soon: Ad Lib Het Porn.