On 6-3-1990, with I as a front seat passenger, the car driven by my wife ended in a ditch, snapping my neck. I was airlifted to advanced tertiary trauma center in Connecticut, was in coma for 6 weeks, fought then and later, have never looked back, and have never yielded to a darker seductively less confrontational alternative of admitting defeat for it negatively would impact my ex-wife and daughter, despite the tortures visited on me by University of Massachusetts and stupid but understandable advice of my wife’s family. I fought with my own lawyer to minimize needed support, got divorced, have turned to and created remarkable encryption based products, and shall change this planet itself. Tall claims, but relevant regardless, and please read on.
We all understand mental feebleness. Extreme form is senility. Both are persistent states. TBI is different in that you go into these states and out of them in uncontrolled manner. If you are frequently in never-never land, then you are best classified mad. If rarely, then sane. Depakote [Lahey shrink, MN neurologist] has reduced my stay in never-never land but not eliminated it. It has gone from near mad to controversial-state now. Remember that I have been on it for only 2 years, and perhaps I will improve to sane. In any case, I have carefully diagnosable neurological but not intellectual disabilities [Boston shrinks, SS professional]. And I intend to remove any lingering visible effects of the neurological problems by myself through money.
There is no residual mark on me of the terrible event that happened beyond stitch marks from many surgeries, just many soul wrenching after-effects and a professor who evolved to a new kind of human – me. I have developed a shocking array of powerful technologies in the last ten years that will change this planet itself, and am poised to use them for persistent legal retribution, for my own benefit, of my new family, and those who chose to support me in my dark days. Microsoft has anticipated some. Some not. These are
|
Claim made by me |
Impact |
|
Drugs that work in certified way only. Eliminate all forms of patient attempt to evade. |
Drug companies and drug marketing. Patent. |
|
Copy free digital rights management, for software, music, video, text. |
Software producers. Authors. Musicians. Filmmakers. Renters. |
|
Unduplicable content |
Secret service, courts, contracts, law |
|
Secure communication and backup |
Banks, Hackers, crackers, banks, internet services |
TBI hurts you primarily by reducing your memory and destroying your coordination. I have dealt with it different from all others because had I dealt with it in conventional way, I would have negatively impacted those who I care about – my ex family. That they chose not to beyond a certain point means to me thereafter they don’t exist either.
|
Situation symptom externally diagnosed |
Handled for a loved one |
Have to do it yourself |
|
Forgetfulness |
Tolerance, understanding, patient reminding |
Chits and forms |
|
Hunt and peek typing |
Patience to end, doing stuff unlikely to end in time |
Editable voice |
|
Inability to locate |
Location help, remembering what where |
Powerful auto linking location and find system |
|
|
|
|
Nearly 72 billion are classifiable as dead humans, each grew old and died undignified, far worse than any calamity or war. I neither seek nor demand dignity. I order it, for my people and me. You are condemned too to suffer like me for you will get old too, and will not be able to recover like I did with Depakote. The litany of injustices meted out to seniors is immense. The solution is neither to suffer as Indian young families do, or to put them away in old folk homes as is done in America. Both these are necessary but evil extremes. You can’t even trust an offspring for their Weltanschauung is very selfish and all your efforts and sacrifices for them will mean nothing. It is not a matter of their genetics – just upbringing and age. Extreme forms are called Senility. Mild forms are mental feebleness. TBI form is full alertness at times, to full senility at times.
One of the stupidest depictions of history is that of US in the 1770’s and 1780’s. Rather than a nationalistic revolt, the war of independence was the lighting of a planetary fuse by some opposed to dominant power of the time with French help. The latter learnt their lessons well and deposed of their own king in 1789. Yes these men were young fit white Christian slave-owning males, and the history since has been slow removal of unnecessary preconditions. Yet before I indulge in fierce name-calling like racist, I am forced to examine my own attitudes towards the old, fairer sex and Brahmins. And I am forced to admit as being less than perfect and a creature of habit.
Having said all this, there is no room at my table for intellectuals. It is not enough to be right, one must first pay their dues, and all must pay their dues. And I have been inculcated successfully with the principals of advanced leadership as delivered to me as a young sergeant of the national cadet corps: an officer eats only when all the men under have eaten. So you must deliver before you can speak, make it available to those you claim to care for, and apply these principles to yourself first. I have, it is hard, uncertain, unsatisfying, fearful, and I am glad it is finally over.
|
90 |
Memory blank and accident |
Second childhood |
|
91 |
Attempted recovery, tech, train rides |
Mn guest, TBI recovery, India trip |
|
92 |
Forced stay with mother |
Lcpg demonstration |
|
93 |
Job search and mn duties |
Diabetes recovery |
|
94 |
Hardware work |
Video work and setting of shop |
|
95 |
Analog tapes |
Resetting of equipment |
|
96 |
Abuse by computer city and comp USA |
Video work abandoned |
|
97 |
Sickness and heart bypass |
Encryption |
|
98 |
Copy freeness |
Documentation with hyperlinks |
|
99 |
Organization software |
Indian doc almost kills me |
|
00 |
Rerecovery and citizenship |
HTML & US presidential elections |
|
01 |
HTML Applications for mail & organization |
Trip to India and ex-wife |
|
02 |
Completion of copy free and documentation system |
Use of system to document everything |
TBI Traumatic Brain Injury Consequences
|
When |
What |
Why |
Effects |
|
91 |
Severe neck accelerations |
Fractured spine |
Halo for immobilization, backbone surgery |
|
92 |
Memory loss |
? |
|
|
93 |
Disorganization |
Memory loss |
Where is it? |
|
94 |
discoordination |
Motor control loss |
Speech, gait, typing |
|
95 |
Expensive repetition |
Memory loss |
Repeated try using failed techniques |
|
96 |
Nonroutine failure |
Memory loss |
Failure to handle novel situations |
|
|
Impatience |
Motor control loss |
I can/have done it (painfully) gimme a break. |
Example
problems
|
What |
Problem examples |
|
Disorganization |
Location of wires and connectors, papers in files |
|
Disorganization |
Bills, dealing with bank |
|
discoordination |
Typing, auto driving leading to complaint and suspicion of drinking |
|
Expensive pointless repetition |
Rebuying same box with card soon |
|
Nonroutine failure |
Running out of gas, Lowell abuse |
|
Impatience |
Job interviews, shrink interactions |
|
What |
How |
More problems |
Unsuccessful try |
|
Disorganization |
Chits, rigid arrangement |
Environment cleaning |
Commercial organization tools |
|
Discoordination |
Avoid need |
Require instructions |
Nonediting ra recorders |
|
Expensive repetition |
Family help |
Failure on schedule |
Written documents |
|
Nonroutine failure |
Family help |
Changing of mind |
Scenario thinking write-recorded |
|
Impatience |
Personality surgery |
He has become a patsy |
Extreme sanctions |
|
Who |
What |
|
Brother-in-law |
But before writing a novel, you will first invent a paper and pen and feel good about it |
|
Mother |
Now you are going to spend time on figuring out details of free patta to kavadiai |
|
sister |
Software is hard work. The easiest way to become a neelpati (beyond arabpati and kharabpati) is to marry a girl called neel. |
|
Father |
(On desire to become a neelpati) At least America has not robbed him of Hindi counting |
|
Sister |
Best way to repay our kindness is to do good for society around you |
|
Sister |
First thing you know there are more tea cups hanging on your tree (used by me to control drinking) |
|
Brother-in-law |
His tea accountings is complicated by advances, borrowings, loans, and interest-free credit. |
|
Ex-wife |
There are optimists who see glass half full, pessimists glass half empty. And you who thinks glass is twice as big as needed. |
|
Ex-wife |
Lowell, PTO, computer city, comp USA, court system, … Won’t you give up? |