DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING
Let's meet at my house Sunday before the game.
-Parmeshwar
My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago.She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion.
C'mon over and bring the kids.
-Parmeshwar
Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me
and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the
mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he
slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. " Don't ever save anything
for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion.
" I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that
followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow
an unexpected death.
We need to talk.
-Parmeshwar
I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings.
Loved the wedding, invite me to the ! marriage.
-Parmeshwar
Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not
endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm
not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first
camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I like it. My theory is
if I look prosperous, I can shell out $58.49 for one small bag of groceries
without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties;
clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well
as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days"
are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or
doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.
That "Love Thy Neighbor" thing... I meant it.
-Parmeshwar
I'm not sure what my sister would've done had she known that she wouldn't
be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called
family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former
friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think
she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm
guessing-I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make
me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing
good friends whom I was going to get in touch with - someday. Angry because I
hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write one of these days. Angry
and sorry that I didn't tell my husband often enough how much I truly love him.
Do you have any idea where you're going?
-Parmeshwar
I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that
would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my
eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath
truly is a gift from God. You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love
like it's never going to hurt.... People say true friends must always hold
hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other
hand will always be there. You've received this because someone cares for you.
If you're too busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to
forward this to ten people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little
thing that would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you
it certainly won't be the last. Take a few minutes to send this to a few people
you care about, just to let them know that you're thinking of them.
You think it's hot here?
-Parmeshwar
Enjoy
the moment