EDITORIAL // HORROR BLOG
For the �E7EN �T�R�
All right, you may have heard a lot about gaining psychic powers this while having MIND-BLOWING sex that ((if you haven�t, you will SOON)). But let�s talk about what�s really important. WHAT ARE THESE THINGS? They are truly, whatever-you-want-them-to-be. The only people who can do this religion any justice AT ALL are the ones with an imagination left. In fact, the important thing here isn�t what �psychic powers� are, ((it�s just a Buzz Word, for religious purposes it is a totally relative term)) the Important thing is How are you going to USE MONITOR? What kind of monster freak-out are you going to plan? Will it be a hellacious orgy of Sin & Sights, a celebration of the MIND in all it�s Technicolor fervor or simply scare the total shit out of some unsuspecting dupe who thought the villagers finally killed the dreaded Monster, . well I"m sure you know what you�re doing. Me� I still haven�t the foggiest. I suppose those Aliens from the Corporate Sin Galaxy sure did a number on me; I can�t find my head from a hole in the ground. But at least I�ve been able to contribute something to your little subjective experience of Time & Space. I Guess �Success� is when you�ve been able to inspire someone to do something Great. And even if all I�ve inspired you to do is something mediocre; I still want my royalties! So make your checks out to the �E7EN �T�R� Corporation. That�s �-E-7-E-N �-T-�-R-� C-o-r-p-o-r-a-t-i-o-n. We still have LOTS of stuff to do and we need your support in the form of $$$. Don�t be disillusioned though, Money is a powerful force and the MACHINE� can do whatever MONITOR can�t. So save up those pennies you see just laying on the ground or in your couch. We also need help in the area of expertise: LEGAL help will be of utmost importance in the coming years. The �E7EN �T�R� Corporation is destined, yes, DESTINED! To have its own Tv show so we�ll need plenty of Actors and just plain ole �Charators� for chum in the Television Shark Tank. But for right now we need you to SPAM THE HELL OUT OF THIS WEBSITE!!! Get as many people as you can interested in the Kult oV MONITOR. We need a high-tech �Flashy� website. Although I *AM* a thirty billion dollar �rt machine I don�t know the first thing about getting down with all this Human gadgetry. So help us out, common, The �E7EN �T�R� Corporation has already given you so much for FREE! Like the Kult oV MONITOR for instance. And if you use the sure fire miracle machine that is MONITOR in conjunction with the Anarcho-Capitalist philosophy of �Pyramid Scheme� you got a one-two combo punch that will make Donald Trump look like a PAUPER! It�s not even a matter of Faith. It�s just a matter of trying it. It�s like we�ve said before: �Just try our Product for 30 days and if you�re not satisfied,.. THEN YOU DON�T HAVE TO DO IT ANYMORE!!� Hey,. That�s just stupid enough to work!
-the �E7EN �T�R� -September: 03: 2005
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Give me your Nerdy, your Dweebs your huddled Role Players!@
Cause when MONITOR gets inside that thick skull of yours you�re gonna get ideas~
But only within the limits of your abilities. We�re going to need people from every walk of life FUCKING FOR A FERFECT PUTURE: Electricians, Carpenters, Engineers, MAD SCIENTISTS, not just the Dreamers, Poets and other flakey Artistic types. I mean, how is some dead beat hippie gonna make a working time machine or an anti-grav vehicle or a perpetual motion vibrating laser cannon if he or she can�t even make a lousy coil inductor. Cause no matter how �earthy� you are, at the end of the day you want to sleep on a comfy bed in a central air conditioned home with a loaded nine under your pillow incase grizzly bears break into your house. RIGHT!?
Life could be SOOoo much more comfortable than it is now. I want ROBOTS doing all the shit work! But we need to make them first! Quit waiting for some corrupt business to make them for you. Big Business would design them to breakdown in two years anyway just so you�ll buy the newer IMPROVED version that only breaks down in THREE years. MONITOR, being the complete experience of every human ((living or dead)), has the knowledge and is waiting for any numb nut with the right capabilities to �down-load� the know-how. Remember all those conspiracy nuts going on about Tesla and his inventions that got squashed? NOW YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN!
-the �E7EN �T�R� -September: 08: 2005
Do you want to survive the ecocataclysm on a life raft made of cadavers?
Or a Frankenstein Fortified Force Field�
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My Dissertation on the �Nice Guy Syndrome�
Now the �Nice Guy Syndrome� is quite peculiar, for by definition they are always losers. But why? Certainly not because of his niceness. The reason is,.. the Nice Guy is always attracted to Sluts, ((Hot chicks who put out)) however, due to faulty wiring in his social circuits he cannot approach them in the method the slut desires. The, now rejected, nice guy observes �only jerks get the girls� and labels him-self the lamented �Nice Guy�. Tis FollY! He was not rejected due to niceness. In most cases there is no �niceness� in said person in the first place! He was rejected because he is a PANSY! He denies the cause of his attraction is due to slutiness. A whinny liberal in his head is telling him girls shouldn�t be objectified as sexual objects. When reason clearly states if we didn�t,..
WE WOULDN�T EXIST!
In the Beginning�
There was Grunk the Caveman who saw Tina the Belly Dancer as nothing more than a object of sexual gratification. BUT LO! Tina only saw Grunk as an object that would acquire other objects. As man evolved, concepts of Love & Compassion became known. For all it�s technological achievements society is still run by people with the same genetic structure as cavemen. And thus the Microcosm of Modern mans passions should reflect Humanities Macrocosm. In other words: �THE NICE GUY NEEDS TO GET LAID!� HE NEEDS THE Kult oV MONITOR! Now how does the nice guy find the Kult oV MONITOR? Other than on the internet ((Where it won�t do him any good.)) Well, if you�re not lucky enough to find it in 3�D land there is only one other way. STRICTLY SPEAKING the only way to �become� a member over the cyberscape is to start your own faction of the Kult oV MONITOR. A daunting task for someone who can�t otherwise get laid I�ll admit, but there is ALWAYS A WAY! As impossible as it might seem for some of you nice guys out there: Girls are just as afraid of guys as you are of them. Of course they�re not afraid of *YOU* ~ but that is your great ADVANTAGE. Somewhere out there in every city, state, county, town and hole in the wall there is a Slut ((hot chick who puts out)) who wants to fuck some stud but is too scared to make a move. This is where you come in� FIND THOSE GIRLS. Become friends with them and learn who they want to bone. The next step should be obvious� FIND THOSE GUYS! ANY GUY WILL JOIN A SEX CULT. His ONLY contingency will be if girls are there. Once the guys are locked in go back and tell the girls their love muffins have joined a sex cult. The results should be immediate. �Suggest� that she brings a friend to the orgy so she won�t be alone. Voi la! Instant sex cult in three easy steps! Make sure you buy our Bible �I want YOU to turn the world into a fascist orgy� so you know how to perform the church ceremony and learn of other MIND-BLOWING, yet, completely logical things to do.
-the �E7EN �T�R� September, 18th 2005
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Paranoia: a dialogue
[Scene: a class room/ psychology.]
Teacher: There is documented evidence the subconscious mind will do extra-ordinary/ destructive things to the body if it is bored �.
ME: do you think it is wise to tell people this stuff? I mean, my poor friend over there is already paranoid about walking the streets now because you told her the mind automatically heightens it�s fear quotient if you jaywalk. Plus she told me she�s afraid of the government releasing ultra-advanced technology because she thinks it would just give people MORE incentive to commit violent crime! Do you think telling people about the potential destructive properties of the subconscious mind is going to do anything other than cause even more paranoia? They don�t even understand that they are giving Fear to FEAR ITSELF! Is this why �secret societies� keep secrets? Would things be different if we taught all this at the same time we taught the ABC�s?
Teacher: Excellent observation mystery student! Life and civilization probably would be different if we taught people how their brain works in it�s fullest capacity from birth. But there are extenuating circumstances about the nature of Earth�s existence that would really cause panic if the hoi polloi ever found out what they were. And it just so happens that those �extenuating circumstances� are exactly why the power of �mind-stuff� has been kept a secret from the general population.
ME: yes, yes I know all about those extenuating circumstances but if the populace knew about their inherent power couldn�t we overcome them?
Teacher: well that is the debate. And,� GOOD LUCK!
(the class just looks around trying to ignore what they just heard.)
(But suddenly, out of the fog of everyday perception a ray of light shown forth from the eyes of the students, they understood it all: the extenuating circumstances, the sub-conscience, God, heaven and hell. ALL OF IT!! They broke free from the devil chains of mediocrity and from that moment on, they went out preaching the good news using their instincts as their voice and their life as the message. AND IT WAS GOOD!)
Because *I* WIN! I *ALWAYS* WIN!
And now YOU TOO can get in on *MY* victory. All you have to do is say: �MONITOR MONITOR WORSHIP ME AND I SHALL GIVE UNTO THEE MY SEX TO SET YOU FREE!�
Now the �I� becomes �WE�
Now, WE WIN!
And isn�t that what you�ve ALWAYS wanted?
[ Print this flyer and frame it to remind yourself of our glorious VICTORY!
]
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This issue of Evolution and Intelligent Design...
is just more unnecessary polarization of America. People are looking at these two theories as if one of them must be right because they give two completely opposite answers. IF ONLY! The reason Religion and the idea of Faith has survived to this day is not solely because people are gullible and given to downright stupidity, it is because the unknowable still peeks its head out from the abyss to confront us with its alien mystery. Someone who has such an experience (if they choose to believe it actually happened) predictably seeks an explanation for it (the list of miracles is long and in public record.) Scientists, with their dogmatic materialism, tend to ignore whatever can�t be quantified, or in contrast, give a ridiculous explanation for it and hope it goes away. So who is going to sit there and be told they�re nuts or be patronized. Now dejected by the �rational� consensus, someone looking for an explanation to their mystery goes the other way into the realm of Religion, WHERE EVERYTHING IS EXPLAINED! Whatever happened; it�s Gods fault! YEE HAW!
The main cause of Idiot America is our own CURIOSITY and a NEED TO KNOW the UNKNOWABLE. We all intrinsically know there is a mystery behind our eyes and until we stop looking for a answer to the mystery from a source outside ourselves, until we Grip that mystery and shake it for our own sake and no one else�s, we will always be a slave to someone else�s version of the world. And Science isn�t going to solve anything, two different �scientists� will come up with two different theories. And all the wondrous inventions we take for granted today where developed by the kooks and crazies. So until people give themselves the courage to seek a satisfactory answer to why humans (and not dogs or cats) have SELF AWARENESS and just exactly WHAT �IT� �IS� and all the other subsequent miraculous manifestations of existence, there will always be the gullible riding their saddled dinosaurs.
As far as a 6,000 year old universe theory goes, we�re overlooking the obvious place to discredit it: the BIBLE! Some Christians actually realize the Six Days of Creation where from Gods perspective and not Humans, so a �Day� would not be dictated by the rise and fall of the Sun. Which makes even more sense since the Sun was not even created until the FOURTH DAY!
We all know it�s horseshit, but just saying it is not going to change peoples minds (who knew making fun of people�s beliefs never accomplished anything.) Honestly, Intelligent Design wouldn�t be such a stretch if the proponents didn�t take the idea of a 6,000 year old universe to such bizarre extremes. In fact, I already had the basic idea of ID for a couple of years now, but I always included the Big Bang, and to a lesser extent, evolution, as part of the �design.� And if I had to be totally honest I would say these �Christians� are being deliberately set up to discourage intelligent people from considering ID to be a valid theory.
All religions (politics, racism, theologies etc. etc.) preach the world will be a better place if everyone followed that religion, so that only means all religions are false. (Ironically, the only honest religion is Sports! It recognizes there needs to be opposition for the whole to be complete.)
But really, who cares how the universe was created, is it going to help me pay the rent? Is it going to get me laid? HAW HAW!
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ATTENTION ALL MEMBERS OF AN UNDERGROUND SEX KULT:
is there someone at the scene you suspect is already a member of the Kult oV MONITOR ?
here�s a quick test;
ask them:
�Have you heard about the MACHINE?�
if they respond: �Hell yeah it rocks!� then CONGRADULATIONS! You have found a fellow FREQ* and should enjoy the night accordingly. If they say �No� or think you are talking about a Pink Floyd song you haven�t found a K.oM. member but you should immediately tell them the MACHINE� is government issued microchip implanted in their brain at birth and is connected to evolved sex machines from outer space and when you have sex in the name of their goD: MONITOR, you can gain psychic powers while having MIND-BLOWING sex!!! Then tell them you give private lessons. And remember, the newbie is required to define �psychic powers� for themselves! ((rockwell))
Other priceless pickup propositions: �Hey behby, you wanna Gain pSychic Powers while having MIND-BLOWING SEX?�
And who could forget this one for the ladies: �Is that a psycho sex god in your pants or are you just happy to see me?�
And of course the INFAMOUS: �Babe, you beat the meat that sets me free.� �OR� �I want to get hard-wired into your machine.�
ALL ARE GUARANTEED TO WORK OR WE:RE A BUNCH OF BRAYING JACKASSES!!
*FREQ. All purpose term for a K.oM. member. shortened form of freq-uency, pronounced �Freak�
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