Mistress of none --a true Blueblooded Bitch

kulasisi:(n)is a Tagalog term for Mistress. They are often referred to as Kalaguyo,Kabit,Querida,Kahati,Mang-aagaw,Number 2,3,4..etc.etc... These are my thoughts.. my life as i live it .. without limit, uncensored,and uncut.

"I SHALL HAVE NO MASTER FOR I AM THE MISTRESS OF NONE..."

.:Saturday, March 24, 2001:.

It’s 3 o’clock in the morning… I have visited several blogs awhile ago….. And may I say that the Bloggers have their own taste and style. One can really be creative when it comes to html and web making…. But not all of them have nice entries. I know I shouldn’t be criticizing their entries but that is a fact. I really got inspired with all the colors and images that they have in their blogs… so I spent the whole night editing the html that neil gave me. Ahehee! Only to be disappointed…. (*I’m really not cut out for this Damn!!!). What did I get? Headache, backache and strained eyes. There are improvements however , but then one has to look closely… ahehehe! It’s invisible to the naked eye. Maybe someday… when the crow turns white I’ll be able to put colors in my blogs. ]:)
I watched an old movie—and very timely for the Holy Week. “JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR “ the setting was typical ( shot on hot dusty dry land)…. I thought it’s like the other movies depicting the life of Jesus. So I really got surprised when a bus appeared in a scene. And several “hippies” went off. This movie came out 1973. I was not even born yet… it’s a nice movie… it’s a musical. One has to listen very closely to the songs for there are no narration… it’s like an opera. They say their lines through songs. Mary Magdalene’s part is spectacular….. yvonne played it well.
I’m afraid that I’m having trouble sleeping--- I’ve been like this for several days already. I sleep at around 3 am in the morning, wake up at 10…. I fell asleep at 3 or 4 pm.. Then sleep again at around 7…. Then I woke up again at around 12 ….. and so it goes…. This is not insomia, is it? Could it be love!? Nah! Not possible… love is sucks! Nyehahaha! I’ll be filing my leave of absence from the CyberSpace for one week, it’s my examination already… (yeah right….) 2 days before my birthday--- I’ll be 24…getting older… (*a little wiser too I hope) *sigh* ah yes, a chatmate of mine is arriving from Canada—he wants to meet me. (ngok) should I ? or shouldn’t I? Haven’t decided yet…. Oh great—the longest entry ever!! Lolz…..this entry is good for 2 days… ahehe!
’I’ve been living to see you…. longing to see you but it shouldn’t be like this…. This was unexpected, what do I do now? Can we start again please…. ‘ ]:)~
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:46 AM|:.

.:Friday, March 23, 2001:.

More Quit messages that really caught my attention...
*** JrZeEpNai143 has quit IRC (Quit: http://hometown.aol.com/xxluvnangelxx/ <=-=-cheCK out muh SitE! *iF yOoH LuV yO maN..sEt HiM FrEe...iF hE dUn cUm baK..dEn ByTcH, hE'z WiF mE!*) --bitchy and it stings!!
*** Gardo_V ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: I wish I could love u like u love me, u give me all the love that I'll ever need...but we both know what's keeping us apart, just thank the person before u that broke my heart.) --- too mushy..... yikes!
*** simgirl ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid!)-- It's a fact!
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 3:27 PM|:.

CONGRATULATIONS BATCH 2001

Yey! yey! School is ooutttttttttttt!! summer is here!! to those people who graduated, welcome to the world of the unemployed!! wooooooooo hoooooooooooo! seriously speaking, how many thousands shall be graduating this year? Addtional rivals at prospective jobs. Grrrrrrrrrr!! A problem that can never be solved unless, they close down all the schools here and make schooling a crime. ]:)
Jobs, jobs.... where the hell can u find a decent one here ? one that would pay you what you are worth, gives you all the benefits you are entitled to...... and one that doesn't abuse the workers?! Sometimes i have this conclusion that the Philippines, despite what we have and enjoying right now-- is really a cursed country! With all the negative writings that i have read.... and what we are experiencing now... i don't know.. Maybe I'm cynical about it even pessimistic .... but that is the reality from my point of view. And i am entitled to have my own ideas... ]:)~

posted by .:|kulasisi @ 12:36 PM|:.

Moaning!! =) while i was reading my logs... i found this:
SO MUCH FOR LOVE...
SO MUCH FOR LOVE,
SO MUCH FOR YOU...
IF YOU THINK I'LL RUN AFTER YOU,
FUCK YOU!!!!
IF YOU THINK I'M BADLY HIT,
BULLSHIT!!!
PLAYING AS MARTYR IS NOT MY ROLE,
AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, ASSHOLE.
IF YOU WANT TO FIND ANOTHER LOVER,
GO AHEAD, LOUSY FUCKER!!!!
Harsh words and poetry....
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:09 AM|:.

.:Thursday, March 22, 2001:.

*** charm``ni_txtranger ([email protected]) Quit (Quit: While U give her love, You gave me sorrow, You Give her rosses, You gave me Throrns, when all she does was smile. all i did was mourn, while she was so happy, I felt so blue, coz while you loved her, I was here Loving You.....)
I took the quit message of Lorie from the IRC. It’s nice… and romantic. What more can I say? I believe there’s a tagalog counterpart. How does that song goes? Ah, yes… ‘mahal kita, mahal mo sya… mahal nya ay iba. Mas mapalad ka mahal kita sa akin walang nagmamahal.’ not exactly the same…. Ahehe! Damn me. It’s nice to read quit messages, countless—muahs, iloveyous, words of endearment.. Etc. etc…some are funny, some are not. Some touches your heart and some makes you flinch.
I still haven’t studied for my Finals next week. I got this feeling that no matter how much studying I do, I’d still not be prepared enough for the exams. I read a little though, but then I always end up sleeping. *Sigh*
Another thing… I’m not feeling well. =( haynaku! Maybe I just need to sleep this off. Ahehe!
Futanginangsheet…. Po. At least I’m polite. ]:) ahehe!
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 10:48 PM|:.

Music is the food of my soul. =) I play one instrument and that is the keyboard…. I mean PLAY as in play. I have tried the guitar but sad to say, the guitar hates me! Tried the drums… but my rhythm sucks. But I love to sing—that’s where music and I meet, in singing. Songs and music, they are the ones who know what I am really feeling. They are my silent and unseen friends. They keep me company all the time. They are my expressions. With the kind of music I am playing and the kind of songs that I sing—you can easily know what kind of mood I’m in. They helped me to get through life. During happy times and especially during bad times. I get to say things that I can’t well say in words through songs and music. They keep my sanity intact. I get to express my innermost feeling through music. Needless to say, I love the radio more than the Television. I can live without TV but not without a radio. Recently I end my entries with a stanza of a song…. And that particular song expresses what I feel at that very moment. He’s my company for the night. *winks*
Poetry is another food that my soul craves for… may it be about Love, Life, Family, Tragedy… my soul is just a sucker for poetry and I’m a sucker for Arts! Theater performances... concerts… paintings… poetry…writings… make my soul complete.
'Poetry is simply the most beautiful,impressive and widely effective mode of saying things,and hence their importance.' --George Arnold

posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:31 AM|:.

.:Wednesday, March 21, 2001:.

I need to reinstall WIN 98 to normalize my PC! I hate it when other people mess up my things! I mean, I leave the house with all my things intact only to find out when I get back that it’s broken because someone used it. GRRRRRRRRRRR! It’s ok to use other people’s things… just take extra care when using it. With deepest gratitude, thankies to Neil, Alan, Papa Tats…. For saying the same thing! Though Neil elaborated it more! Salamat
My review is starting tomorrow. And my birthday is 4 days to go. I still don’t have any plans. I would have celebrated it differently this year, but then fate has a different plan so I’ll just wait for the Big day to come. I just hope I can comply with the itinerary that I made.
I learned new phrases today…. “Ginahigugma ta ka!” (Ilonggo) ,” Ay-ayaten da ka” (Ilocano), “Inaro kita” (pangasinan), all refer to the phrase.. Mahal Kita. (*cool huh?!)
‘ .. di ko nais na magkalayo tayo, nagselos ka at nilayuan mo ako…. Buhay nga naman tunay bang ganyan.. bumalik ka naman. Kahit na ano pa iyong gusto, ok lang basta magka-bati tayo, minamahal kita, hihintayin kita, sorry na pede ba?! Buhay ko’y, nasa iyo matiis mo ba ako o baby! Wag sanang magtampo, sorry pede ba?’
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 1:58 AM|:.

.:Tuesday, March 20, 2001:.

tough questions
when i was reading the news over the net and browsing at the same time, i got hold of this joke... it's so funny and so true. I should have put an article about love (*again ) but then i'm not in the mood for that right now. maybe later. ahehe...
"..and eventhough we ain't got money, i'm so in love with you honey.... and everything will bring a chain of luck.."
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 9:36 AM|:.

.:Monday, March 19, 2001:.

I’m freaking tired! Waaaaaaaaaaaaa! My head aches, my back aches… Nevertheless I had a fun weekend! I kinda wrecked our van, Hmmm… What happened? I miscalculated the space between the left side of the van and the garage. I heard a loud thud from the back. I looked at my left side mirror and viola! Ahehe! I went out to take a look only to see that damage is quite visible. A lot of scratches too. Damn me! I didn’t tell my father and mother about it last night for fear that I’d be scolded, I was scolded early this morning when my father discovered it. Thought I’d get away with it. It was like when I was still a kid, ahehe…. I really got a knack of hiding my so-called crimes. Only to find out that it’ll be discovered and I’d get scolded twice, one for the “crime” and another for not telling them sooner. I never learn. Lessons: no matter how much you keep a secret, sooner or later—it’ll come out and then it’s too late; If there’s smoke, there’s a cigarette.(*ahehehe!) ; Crime does not pay (*eyngs???!)
We went to SM Pampanga , it’s so small….. The only consolation is that the travelling time is short. =)
”……marami na akong nahalikan at marami pang labing matitikman, kay rami ng napusuan ngunit ganun pa ma’y ikaw pa rin……. Ako’y iyong nginitian at magmula nuon NGAYON, BUKAS, KAILAN PA MAN ikaw pa rin…”
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:27 AM|:.

.:Sunday, March 18, 2001:.

What you learn as you mature:
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weenie or huge boobs.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 10:31 AM|:.