Mistress of none --a true Blueblooded Bitch

kulasisi:(n)is a Tagalog term for Mistress. They are often referred to as Kalaguyo,Kabit,Querida,Kahati,Mang-aagaw,Number 2,3,4..etc.etc... These are my thoughts.. my life as i live it .. without limit, uncensored,and uncut.

"I SHALL HAVE NO MASTER FOR I AM THE MISTRESS OF NONE..."

.:Saturday, February 17, 2001:.

I wonder what this day holds for me... would it be a good day,a bad one, or same day like the rest? I do hope that this is a good day for i awfully feel so damn bad. I find it funny.... i usually don't have mood swings but then.... there's always a first time.
I'm feeling weird today..It's like my head is hitting against a brick wall (* or is it my heart?) .I want to get through but i'm just too damn stubborn to jump overboard. I want to get through it by crashing the damn wall. It's a challenge and it hurts.So far the wall is still fully intact.... still strong whereas i, i'm beginning to lose hope. My head is hurting.... I'll never get through... I feel so emotionally stressed out and confused. TIME FOR A BREAK Maybe i need to see a movie or read a book. Reading is good.. i think i'm going to read.Read something that would make me cry. Something that has a sad ending. Something that talks about death, tragedies, and ironies. That's what life is all about anyway.
~~with music softly playing, his lips were gently saying..."Honey, i love you". He held me in desperation, i thought it was a revelation and then he walked out... To be fooled is a hurting pain. To be Loved and Fooled is a crying shame~~
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:42 AM|:.

Naks.... new look ang blogs ko! Buti na lang me neil ako.... simply beautiful =)
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:00 AM|:.

.:Friday, February 16, 2001:.

I am blessed to have a sister like my ate tina. She' s so cool and she LOVES me! yey! yey! She asked me why her name is not mentioned here... and i answered her... "E akin kaya yun? Syempre it's all about me!" We share a room and same bed. I don't think it's possible that i won't be mentioning her here... since our lives are entwined and she pays for the internet services! heheehehe!! We have been staying together for quite sometime now.(* tagal ko na palang me ka-live in) She is the favorite of my titas and titos (*specially the father side). They all think she is nice and sweet and all that stuff. Whereas I, i'm the "maldita" in the family. (Kelan pa kaya naging maldita ang pagiging prangka?! --- sheeeeps!) Whatever i asked of her, she gives me. Sometimes , if i need something, i'd rather go to her than to my nanay because she is easy to talk to. No hassles (* as long as she can give it). Same thing with nanay she would freak out first but later would give in to my request. hehehe! (* with the use of my exotic charm). Whatever i need , i get to have. Like i need to reload my cell... a new blouse...... siopao.... Zagu... i would ask them for it and somehow, one way or another i get to get them. I AM A BRaT.
In defense , I didn't get to have those things for free..... I have to work for them ( * used to ) Now, i just kept on promising my ate and recite all that the things that she wants to hear. Hehehe! I seldom say to my family how much i love them and how much i value them. I'm not good at saying mushy things. I have forgotten the last time i thanked them for simply being my family. For loving me despite my imperfections. For coming to my rescue everytime I'm in trouble . For Giving me a Happy , secured HoMe. haaaaay... labyu tatay, nanay, ate tina, kuya jon-jon, ate vivian and the new brat: kyle.
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 3:01 AM|:.

.:Thursday, February 15, 2001:.

I had the weirdest dream ever.. some kind of adventure fantasy..... Ariel ( little mermaid) was there ,we were swimming ... and it's the end of the world. hahaha! Nagdasal naman ako (*ata) before going to sleep.. wonder what it means...
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 10:24 AM|:.

.:Wednesday, February 14, 2001:.

HaFi BAlenTAyms DAy
( Final Episode )
Ok... so this what happened to me yesterday -- academically speaking the day was a disaster... i don't want to elaborate on it.
On my way to school... i noticed that valentine's really not in the air. Politics is.. since all the political posters and ads are already pasted everywhere. I think I'm not going to vote for those people. And valentine's is not a celebrated event here in the Philippines even if it is called a holiday, why then all these politicians have their faces printed on posters and banners with a Valentine message?! It's really pathetic. They are real traditional politicians.FLowers are everywhere! That's why its so damn traffic in Dimasalang People are getting ready for the Hearts Day.. It's a sad realization though that we need a day like V day to acknowledge the presence of loved ones. Why can't we do it during ordinary days? Giving someone flowers or chocolates--JUST BECAUSE! Just because you love him, just because you treasure him... just because you are a part of his life.. No celebrations, no holidays... Isn't that much better? *wipe away the tears* (hehehehe!) And then the school thing happened..... good thing my bestfriend asked me for a date! We met in SM Manila... then had our dinner. Then we proceeded to Malate. In Malate, we didn't like the persons performing in our usual hang out so we looked for another place. We were able to find one , got in.. took our sits and ordered our first drink. Only one band is performing last night.. they did their first set and it was fine although we didn't know some of the songs that they were singing. The kind of music that they play is jazzy so it's really not a dance song. Then they did their 2nd set-- and it's still the same. *sigh* Finally.... it's the 3rd set, and here i thought i can dance the night away, But i was wrong! They kept on singing their own stuff! Aaaaarghhhh!! It was like an album launching! God is punishing me last night!!
But it was nice to be with friends again. Talking about same stuff over and over and over and over again.... hehehe! The things that we did in College... the Gigs that we had! Talking about the same person we both hate and people that we love. Talking about Family, Love and Life. We simply enjoy each others company... maybe that's why we are Bestfriends! =)
And on this day, people have greeted me and i greeted them as well. Went home at 12:30 pm. Went online and there goes my Valentine Celebration....
Connie, happy valentine's day dearie....
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 3:36 PM|:.

.:Tuesday, February 13, 2001:.

balentaym Blogs
( part II na..)
"Many of us stayed walled because we are afraid that if we care too much the other person wouldn't care as much as we do or not at all."
-- Is missing equal to loving? Is it required to say ILOVEYOU often? Questions that i cannot answer on my own. I love the thought of loving, but somehow in someways.... the thought of it is just not enough... I don't know if i have a point or if my blog today has a direction to speak of. It's just that i find myself missing something ( i'm not sure what)and missing someone.
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 12:02 PM|:.

.:Monday, February 12, 2001:.

-Valentine's Day is a holiday where people honor friendship, affection, and love for people. Valentine's Day is named after Saint Valentine, the patron saint of lovers and is celebrated on February 14th- (*eyngs??)
Valentine's day
--site that talk about valentine stuff... history, recipes (*recipes??? -- nyehahhaa!-- ay mali ibang site pala yun ahahaha! stupid me. ), Gifts, and legends... etc etc...
this is the site that has recipes --> Athena
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 2:03 AM|:.

balentaym blogs
(*part I ata....)
"I love you without knowing how or when or where, I love you straight forwardly without complexities or pride, I love you because I KNOW NO OTHER WAY THAN THIS."
--so yun na.. kadaming ay lab yu... kaya dapat lab mi ren. ahehehehe!
-- Buti na lang wala akong pasok sa wednesday. I can enclose myself in silence and peace of my room. What are my plans for the V day???? WALA I don't think I'll be going out on the 14th... ~~ KADIRE AH! i mean there are 365 days in a year! I really don't understand it. God knows how much i want to understand what's so special about this day.... i just can't.
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 1:16 AM|:.

.:Sunday, February 11, 2001:.

"Don't be afraid to fall in love for love can give you wings...Don't be afraid to fall when it's nice to fly...."
-- Is this true? How come i am scared now? *sigh*
posted by .:|kulasisi @ 12:46 AM|:.

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