The Compleat SHOJO KAKUMEI UKYO

 

a very obvious crossover by Sho-i Tanaka

Version 2.0 (see postscript at the end of Chapter 3 for summary of changes)

 

The characters of Utena, Anthy, Wakaba and all the Ohtori Academy crew

belong to B-PAPAS; the characters of Ukyo, Akane, Kodachi and the rest

of the Nerima Wrecking Crew belong to Takahashi-dono; Giles, Willow,

Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn belong to Joss Whedon & Mutant Enemy; Tomokato

and Shiro belong to Mark Rogers. Any resemblance between characters in

this story and actual living breathing humans is strictly coincidental.

For external use only. Do not perform invasive surgery or operate heavy

equipment while reading this fanfic. Not recommended in combination with

psychoactive chemicals, prescription or otherwise.

 

Some liberties have been taken with the plot of "Utena" since I have

no intention of rewriting all the seasons of the original. In the

Ranmaverse, this story takes place after Graphic Novel 18. In the

Buffyverse, this story takes place between the fourth and fifth

seasons. Some names have been changed to protect the guilty.

 

Chapter 1:

 

    Ukyo Kuonji woke up much as she did every morning, a few minutes

before her alarm started ringing. Unlike most other mornings since her

arrival in Nerima, the room that greeted her eyes was not her own. Ukyo's

eyes snapped wide open, and she sat up in bed abruptly. She was on the

top bunk of a double bunk bed, one of two in the room. There was an

unfamiliar weight on her right hand, and as she lifted it she saw that

she was wearing a beautiful gold ring set with a ruby carefully carved

into a rose.

    Just then her door burst open, and a skinny, brown-haired girl dressed

in a green and white fuku bounded in, shrieking "Utena! Utena! U-"

and leaping into Ukyo's surprised arms. Having arrived in her lap,

the girl looked disapprovingly at Ukyo. "You're not Utena! Where is she?"

    Ukyo shoved the girl off her lap. "I'm Ukyo, not Utena. Ukyo Kuonji.

Who are you and what is this place?"

    "I'm Wakaba Shinohara. I've known Utena since we were in middle

school, and this is Ohtori Academy. Did you just transfer in?"

    "Not intentionally," Ukyo growled. "Would you get off my legs so I

can get dressed?"

    Wakaba shifted onto the bed, and Ukyo grumpily climbed down from

the upper bunk. She was not a morning person by nature, and having some

bouncy, annoying, perky girl awaken her didn't help. She opened the

clothes closet and groaned in disbelief, then started dressing.

 

    Ukyo regarded herself in the mirror. "And they say *I* have weird

taste in clothes," she grumbled. There had been nothing in Utena's

drawers but the usual cotton panties, some undershirts that reminded

her uncomfortably of her would-be suitor Tsubasa Kurenai, skin-tight

red biker shorts, and some black uniform jackets complete with stand-up

collars. They all fit perfectly.  Wakaba sighed in admiration. "You're

just as pretty as Utena!"

    "Right," Ukyo said. "Where do we get breakfast around here?"

 

    Wakaba led her to the refectory, where the dozens of girls in the

South Dormitory took their meals. Ukyo drew tons of attention, though

the joyful looks on the girls' faces rapidly changed to puzzlement

as they saw that Wakaba's companion was not Utena, but another girl

entirely. Ukyo's attention in turn was snagged immediately by two

girls seated by themselves at a corner table, staring at each other

and radiating intense blue battle auras.  One of them saw Ukyo and her

jaw dropped. The other turned to see what had distracted her opponent,

and the three girls chorused "YOU!"

 

    Ukyo regarded Akane and Kodachi blankly as she shoveled the breakfast

rice in. "I don't know how I arrived here," Kodachi growled, "but I see

that of all Ranma-sama's iinazuke, the only one absent is Shampoo. This

is probably another magic spell unleashed by that Chinese strumpet!"

    "I don't know about that," Akane answered. "More likely this is

some other enemy Ranma picked up in his travels. I don't think either

Shampoo or Cologne has this much magic power, or they would have used

it already. Besides, Shampoo's never been one to use magic when plain

old violence would do."

    "Akane's right," Ukyo said, putting down her bowl. "It doesn't matter

who brought us here, anyway. We need to find out where this Ohtori

Academy is and how to get out of here. Wakaba, do you know which ward

we're located in?"

    "No, I'm afraid not. We're not allowed to leave the grounds,

you know."

    "HOHOHOHOHO! Walls are no barrier to the Black Rose of Ohtori

Academy!"  Kodachi boasted, her laugh sending chills down the spines of

all within earshot. "One way or another I shall escape this prison and

reunite with my dearest Ranma-sama!"

    Akane glared at her. "Whatever," she ground out.

 

    It turned out that all three of the Nerima girls were in the same

section as Wakaba, so they followed her out of the dormitory along

the walkways. As they strolled along in the pleasant spring breeze,

they passed a peculiar birdcage-like structure. Outside the structure

were two equally peculiar students. One, a tall boy with green hair,

was shouting at the other, a slim girl with dark skin and wire-rimmed

glasses. As they approached, the boy lost control and slapped the girl,

who fell to the ground.

    Later, neither Akane nor Ukyo could recall which of them had hit

Saionji-sempai first, but when the screaming stopped, the upperclassman

was lying semi-conscious in a crater of shattered masonry. Wakaba looked

on in shock, while Kodachi looked on with an amused smile. "What the

HELL do you think you're doing?" Akane screamed, the force of her anger

blowing Saionji's hair straight back and removing its curls.

    Saionji struggled to his feet, still somewhat glassy-eyed from

the impacts of the girls' fists. "You two...are in a lot of trouble,"

he wheezed.

    "I am engaged to Master Saionji," Anthy explained. "I am the Rose

Bride, and he can do what he wishes with me."

    "Not as long as we're here," Ukyo growled. "This isn't the Shogunate

we're living in."

    "But it is his right," Anthy patiently insisted.

    "Yes," Saionji concurred, "it is. Perhaps you'd care to challenge

me to a duel, and use her yourself?" He began to laugh, but the laugh

died when Ukyo backhanded him across the mouth.

    "I, Ukyo Kuonji, challenge you," Ukyo told him coldly. "If slapping

girls around is your speed, this should be a *very* short duel."

    Saionji stared at the ring on her hand. "Where did you get that?" he

demanded. "Nobody except the Student Council has a Rose Seal ring!"

    "What difference does it make?" Ukyo asked. "I can whip you senseless

with or without the ring. It doesn't mean anything to me."

    "Miss Ukyo, the ring means that you are one of the Duellists, those

entitled to fight for possession of the Rose Bride," Anthy interjected.

    "Possession of the Rose Bride - and the right to bring the world

revolution!" Saionji intoned sonorously. "This will be a short duel

indeed, Kuonji-san. You have chosen as your first opponent the captain

of the Ohtori Academy kendo team!"

 

***

 

Meanwhile, back in Nerima...

 

    Keiko Sonoda was nothing short of terrified. She had gone to sleep

in her comfortable dormitory at Ohtori Academy, only to wake up here...

wherever here was. The closet was full of strange clothes, ugly Mother

Hubbard-type school uniforms instead of the beautiful fuku that showed

off her long legs to best advantage, and the house was inhabited by

uncouth working-class martial artists who seemed to change into pandas

and girls and back again for no apparent reason. At least Kasumi Tendo

was nice to her; apparently such things happened all the time in this

house, along with Chinese delivery girls crashing through the walls on

their bicycles. And now this strange public high school with its utterly

deranged principal! If it weren't that Aiko was with her, she would go

stark raving mad...

 

    "Well, this takes the cake," Ranma said. "Akane and Ucchan vanish

and get replaced by these stuck-up turkeys. Why couldn't it have been

Shampoo?"

    "You say the beauteous Akane Tendo is also missing?" Tatewaki Kuno

said as he approached. Ranma eyed him suspiciously, but it seemed for

once that Kuno-sempai wasn't looking to get thrashed. "Indeed, my own

sister has vanished, to be replaced by one Yuko Ose. I might almost

mistake her for my beloved Osage no Onna, but she lacks any kind of

muscle tone and as for her hair..." The kendo team captain shuddered,

then fixed Ranma with a cold glare. "What sorcery of yours is this,

Saotome, to have so easily disposed of three iinazuke at one blow?"

    "I had nothin' to do with it!" Ranma snapped. "I woke up this morning

and Akane was gone, replaced by this goofy Sonoda chick, and then I find

out Ukyo's missing too, replaced by this snobby Wakiya gal. Now you say

your sister's gone too? I'd think you'd be happy about that. This Ose girl

probably can't even boil water, much less brew poisons to try on you."

    "You might likewise celebrate the absence of Akane Tendo, whose

culinary skills are nowhere near her masterful command of kenpo. I would

think having only Shampoo as a romantic interest would suit you nicely."

    Ranma squirmed uneasily. "Yeah, her cooking's not so great, but...

well...Nabiki told me she'll write off my debts if I can find her."

    "Such generosity does not come easy to that one," Tatewaki agreed.

"Find Hikaru Gosenkugi. Of all our classmates, he knows best the mystic

arts. I shall peruse the student files to see what may have transpired

with our missing classmates."

    Ranma nodded. For once, Kuno was making sense. He set off in search of

"Voodoo Spike" Gosunkugi.

 

***

 

    Shiro knew it was going to be a bad day when the Feds took all his

guns out of his carry-on luggage at Dulles, gave him a full-body cavity

search to remove all the *other* carry-on and holdout guns on his person,

and then insisted on cramming him into a pet carrier in spite of his

protests that he really was the Second Secretary of the Japanese Embassy.

He'd had the papers to prove it, too. Unfortunately the real Second

Secretary had showed up for the same flight back to Tokyo, and now Shiro

would be spending the next ten hours crammed into a smelly little cage

instead of enjoying the free drinks of first class. That smile on the

Second Secretary's face meant trouble, too, or he wasn't a Miaowara.

 

    "I know just the place to send him," the diplomat had smiled evilly,

and the Feds had grinned appreciatively. Contorting his body in a move

that his uncle Tomokato would have been surprised to see him use, he

could just barely read the destination on the manifest attached to the

carrier. Shiro was fairly well educated, and he deciphered the kanji

immediately. "Nekohanten Cafe, Nerima Ward, Tokyo. Attention: Cologne."

Cryptic, yet pungent with unpleasant meaning, Shiro thought, and curled

up to sleep away the long hours.

 

***

 

    Tomokato Miaowara had seen many strange sights in his long quest

for vengeance against the slayers of his lord,  but this was without

question the strangest yet. He had personally seen his nephew off

when Shiro had left for Dulles, and yet here was all Shiro's baggage

back in the room. Furthermore, there was a most unShiro-like shape in

the other bed.  A shape with pink hair. Surely the management had not

provided him with a woman for entertainment? He knew America was a land

sunk in decadent sensuality and violence, but this was too much. Eyeing

the shape distrustfully, he prodded what he assumed were its feet with

the scabbard of his katana.

    Utena sat bolt upright at the first poke of the scabbard. She saw an

enormous, scarred tabby clad in 17th century samurai armor standing at the

foot of her bed, which she recognized immediately was not her accustomed

bunk bed.  "I am Tenjo Utena," she said, her mind racing to make sense

of the senseless and failing. "Who do I have the honor of addressing?"

    The cat let the wakizashi drop to his side. "I am Miaowara Tomokato,

hatamoto of the late Nobunaga Oda-sama. How is it that you awaken in my

nephew's bed?"

    "I don't know," Utena answered truthfully. "I fell asleep last night

in my dorm room at Ohtori Academy, and woke up here. Wherever here is."

    "Washington D.C., the Sheraton Park Hotel, to be precise."

    "How-"

    "I have found," the cat sighed heavily, "that it seldom profits one

to worry about such things. No doubt the author has used yet another

stupid gaijin plot device, as has happened so many times before in my

adventures. The important thing is that we must fare forth to Ohtori

Academy. I have an appointment with Akio Ohtori, one that he will be

unpleasantly surprised to see me keeping."

    "Akio? The headmaster of the Academy?"

    "Yes. He was unmistakably implicated in the slaying of my lord

Nobunaga.  I must confront him and kill him. Only then will my long and

troubling journeys be ended."

    "How are we going to get from here to Ohtori?"

    "There's a 12:35 flight out of National to LAX, change for Narita. I

suggest you get dressed and eat quickly, otherwise we'll never find you

a decent pair of swords in this city."

    Following the cat's instructions, Utena donned one of his

nephew's yukatas (which, oddly enough, fit her perfectly), ravaged the

complimentary fruit bowl, and set off for the nearest surplus store in

his wake.

 

    "Do you think he really got them from a one-armed officer outside

Nagasaki?"  Utena asked the cat as they left the store, lighter by

several hundred dollars but now armed with a fine pair of swords. (Not

as fine as the cat's, mind you, but still decent quality.)

    "It's hard to say," he replied. "There were black soldiers used

towards the end of the Great Pacific War, and I suppose some could have

been taken prisoner.  A very strange story. No matter, though; we need

to train you to a higher standard of swordsmanship. Trying those moves

of yours in a real fight will just get you killed."

     "Hai, Miaowara-sensei!"

 

chapter two

 

    "You know, I have no idea how I'm going to pull this off," Ukyo

confessed to her companions as they headed for the Dueling Forest.

    "What do you mean?" Akane asked nervously.

    "I've never fought a swordfight in my life. All my martial arts

training has been in the Okonomiyaki School of Spatula-fu,  aside from

the obligatory kenpo,  and I have no delusions about my ability to beat

a kendo master with my bare hands."

    "I don't know about that," Kodachi said thoughtfully. "I watched that

blow-dried fool today at practice. My onii-sama would chop him into dog

food without breaking a sweat."

    "Yeah, but I'm not Kuno-sempai, and I don't even have a bokken,"

Ukyo replied.

    "Didn't you take one from the gym?" Akane exclaimed.

    Ukyo shrugged. "What would have been the point? I might as well

have taken a bowling ball. Come to think of it, the bowling ball would

be more useful. I could at least throw it at Saionji."

    "Oh, Ukyo! You'll think of something!" Wakaba gushed. The others

turned and looked at her. "Don't you think so?" She grabbed Ukyo's hand

and pressed it to her chest. "Oh, Ukyo..." she sighed dreamily.

    "Gyaaah!" Ukyo exclaimed, snatching back her hand.

 

[Insert scene with drop of water, water gushing, gate opening...You've

seen the show, you know how it goes.]

 

    After an interminable climb up the spiral stairs to the arena, which

oddly enough didn't fatigue our heroines in the least, they reached the

top. Waiting for them were Saionji, Anthy, and a bedraggled American

officer clad in jungle fatigues carrying a large wooden box.

    "Is there an Ukyo Kuonji over there?" the American called out.

    Ukyo stared in disbelief for a moment and raised her hand uncertainly.

"That's me," she answered.

     The American staggered towards her, encumbered by the box, which he

finally dropped in front of her. He shoved a clipboard at her. "Sign here,

and here," he said, gesturing with a ballpoint pen at a form on the

clipboard.

     Ukyo signed in the appropriate boxes, after which the officer tore off

the top copy and handed it to her.

     "Thanks," he said. "Now I can get the hell out of here." He ran past

them to the stairs and disappeared down them.

     "You're welcome," Ukyo replied, ripping open the box.

     A piece of the wrapping paper fluttered up against Kodachi's feet.

She picked it up; the shipping label read: ACME MARTIAL ARTS CONSIGNMENT.

Stupid Gaijin Plot Devices since 1600!

     Ukyo finally finished opening the box. When the last of

the bubble-wrap had been stripped away, her delighted gaze fell on

her familiar bandolier and battle spatula. "At last my arm is whole

again!" Ukyo cried.  She rose and faced Saionji. "Ready when you are,

*boy*."

    "I knew darling Ukyo would think of something!" Wakaba shrieked

joyfully. "Oh,  Ukyo! Ukyo! Uk-" [thud]

     "Thank you," Kodachi said to Akane. "My sinuses were killing me."

    "You're welcome," Akane replied cheerfully, sticking her Mallet-O-Doom

back in its familiar pocket in Hammerspace. "The hypersonics were giving

*me* a migraine."

     "What kind of barbarous weapon is THAT?" Saionji screamed, clearly

unnerved by the excess of weirdness affecting what was already a pretty

weird scene.

    "It's a spatula, you upper-class twit," Ukyo sneered. "Didn't Mommy

ever let you in the kitchen?"

    Saionji glowed red with the heat of his ki. He would kill this

upstart peasant, he resolved. Merely clipping the rose from her chest

would not be enough to avenge this complete perversion of the duelling

code. "Anthy! Do your duty!"

    The Rose Bride advanced on the duellists in turn, pinning a green

rose to Saionji's tunic and a white one to Ukyo's.

    Anthy stepped back and began her chant. She fell into Saionji's arms,

and he withdrew the sword from her breast.

    "Ha! Die, peasant girl!" Saionji charged, attempting to impale his

opponent on the point of the Sword of Dios. Unfortunately for him, Ukyo

Kuonji was no novice to combat. She whipped the battle spatula off her

back faster than the eye could follow, danced aside from the oncoming

point, and swatted Saionji on the ass with the spatula, sending him

flying toward the edge of the arena.

    "AAAAA!" he screamed, barely managing to stop himself with the sword

before he fell off the edge.

    "Not nearly enough zanshin," Kodachi stage-whispered as Wakaba sat up

and giggled at the sight of the kendo team captain scrabbling to regain

his feet.

    Saionji flushed purple with rage. "You'll be laughing out of the other

side of your mouth when I'm done here, Wakaba-chan," he ground out. He

set his feet, raised the sword, and shuffled forward rapidly to attack.

 

    Ukyo waited coolly, conscious that in spite of her speed and

experience with the spatula, the kendo captain could take advantage of

his weapon's lightness to feint and thrust - and one such thrust would

be all it took. As Saionji's overhead blow descended, she blocked it

with the handle and then swiped at Saionji's head, connecting with a

THUD that turned stomachs for miles. Saionji once again took flight,

landing with a thump at Anthy's feet.

     "Ohhhh..." Saionji groaned as the fresh pain radiated through him. He

struggled to rise again, only to be slammed to the arena floor by Ukyo's

spatula. Again and again the outsized tool of culinary martial arts

slammed down on his body.  From some distant planet he heard the meaty

crunches of his arms, legs, elbows and knees breaking as the spatula

pounded him into unconsciousness.

     "Ukyo-sama, have you forgotten the purpose of the duel?" Anthy

asked softly.

    With a start, Ukyo came back to herself from the red rage that had

swept over her. Never before, not even when she had faced the despicable,

honorless Genma Saotome after ten long years of searching, had she felt

such an urge to kill.  She looked dispassionately at the shattered wreck

of a boy lying unconscious at her feet. "Yes," Ukyo replied distantly.

"Yes, Anthy, I did. Thank you." She sheathed the bloody spatula on her

back and withdrew one of the small, razor sharp throwing spatulas from

her bandolier. With a careless swipe, she severed the blossom just below

its junction with the stem, and handed the green rose to Anthy.

    "Thank you, Ukyo-sama," Anthy smiled.

 

     As darkness fell across the campus of the Academy, Ukyo walked

slowly towards her dorm room. The others had understood her need for

solitude and had gone on ahead to make sure that there would be some

dinner left for her.

    Even Wakaba seemed subdued by what she had seen in the arena, and

had scurried away with Akane and Kodachi. Ukyo turned the corner of the

last building before the dorm and saw a slim, dark-skinned figure waiting

under one of the old-fashioned lamps that dotted the campus. "Ukyo-sama,

I've been waiting for you," Anthy greeted her.

    "Why would you wait for me?" Ukyo asked. "You're free from that jerk

Saionji. You're your own woman now."

     "I am the Rose Bride," Anthy replied. "Your victory over Saionji

means that we are engaged, and I am yours to do with as you will."

She smiled indulgently, as if she was explaining the alphabet to a

backward child.

     "We're not engaged," Ukyo sighed. "On the other hand, do you know

anything about massage? My back is killing me."

    Anthy smiled and cracked her knuckles.

 

****************************************************************

 

    The cat and his new disciple, having been caught in one of those

periodic budget crises that afflict the Government and its servants,

were forced to deplane in Los Angeles and began the long march around

the Pacific Coast. The cat regarded this as wonderful good fortune -

a chance to sharpen his survival skills and to toughen up this young

pink-haired besshiki-onna. Utena was less pleased, but was practical

enough to realize that compared to Miaowara-sensei she didn't know jack

about swordsmanship. So, together they worked their way north, righting

wrongs, learning divers exotic techniques of swordfighting (Utena) and

reconsidering their position on the general worthlessness of Japanese

youngsters (Tomokato). A detailed description of their travels would

consume many volumes, much more than I have time to write or you have time

to read. Suffice it to say that their adventures were often perilous,

sometimes humorous, invariably bloody, but always uniquely educational.

     Eventually they reached Seattle, to find that the cat's Government

JCB card was once again valid. They checked into the Sheraton Airport

Seattle, and while Utena gratefully relaxed in a steaming bath the cat

made reservations on JAL. "You have truly progressed in the Art," Miaowara

admitted to his pupil. "Even the legendary Origami Ito did not have half

your speed, though of course he was a master of far more schools of combat

than I could possibly teach you."

 

    Utena sat bolt upright in her bath. "You knew Origami Ito?" she

gasped.

     "Yes," Miaowara replied, averting his gaze from his pupil's thin

young body. "We were two of the Seven Samurai Cats who defended Anytown

against the infamous El Pacino."

     "How can that be?" Utena asked. "That legendary battle took place

before the Edo Period! You can't be that old!"

     Miaowara shrugged. "Doubtless some bizarre gaijin plot device."

     "There seem to be a lot of those around here," Utena muttered.

 

****************************************

 

    Shiro was enthralled. Not even his not-mother Hinako from the

alternate universe where he was God-Emperor was as hot as this Chinese

babe who apparently turned into an equally fetching cat whenever she was

doused with cold water. The bad news was that Shiro was bound for the

the Cat Cafe's wok unless he could manage a way out of the pet carrier

and somehow get in touch with his uncle. The good news was that even

without his lockpicks and credit cards, jimmying the carrier wasn't

all that complicated. He was gorging himself on a particularly fat tuna

he'd found in the fridge when Shampoo flicked on the kitchen light. "Bad

kitty! You get back in carrier!"

    "Stuff it, Toots," Shiro replied through a mouthful of tuna. "I

haven't had anything but Purina Cat Chow (Utility Grade) since the Feds

bagged me in L.A., so I'm finishing this tuna. Then we'll talk about

the housing situation."

    Fortunately for Shiro, the years of living on the road with

his Uncle had honed his already sharp reflexes. As it was, he barely

dodged the bonbori that would have radically reshaped his little kitten

head. Dropping the tuna, he rounded on Shampoo. "I'd put that down if

I were you," he suggested. "Otherwise you're liable to get hurt."

    Shampoo's eyes narrowed. It was bad enough being patronized by the

Japanese to start with, but having this...this...CAT talking down to

her was more than any Amazon could be expected to put up with. She swung

into the attack with both bonboris flying.

    Shiro yowled in surprise. He'd expected Shampoo to be thrown off

balance by his ability to talk, and thus be a little more amenable to

persuasion. Now he was going to have to duke it out with an enraged

girl who obviously knew a thing or three about blunt objects and their

uses. This was the worst of all possible worlds for the kitten. Small

and psychopathic he might be, but without the comfort of a pistol grip

in his hand he was just another thumbfingered victim in the world of

close combat.  "Think, dammit," he thought as he bounced randomly around

the kitchen. "What can you do to change the odds?"

    At that point Fortune smiled on the youngest Miaowara, though Shiro

at first thought it was Death. Shampoo finally connected with a bonbori

and sent Shiro flying into the sink with a scream. The kitten was sure

he'd been hit by a truck, possibly a large East Bloc wheeled APC, but

he saw that this particular cloud had a big, shiny, platinum lining. He

grabbed the spray hose sticking out of the sink and hit the trigger. A

spray of cold water hit Shampoo square in the face, and she collapsed

into her cat body inside her nightgown. Shiro froze in surprise, but

only for a minute.  "Gotcha!" he cried, as he leaped from the sink onto

the struggling neko-Amazon. He pounded the cat's head on the floor, just

enough to cause unconsciousness, and let her lie limply on the linoleum.

 

    Then he went back and finished the tuna.

 

*******************************************************

 

    Mousse woke from his sleep, gratified that on this morning at

least he was waking to his human body and not his duck form. On the

other hand, this looked nothing like his cramped garret above the

Nekohanten. Whoever normally lived here had a taste for the gothic -

dark hardwoods, medieval European hand axes and other oddities. Dressing

in his usual robes, he looked in the refrigerator and slammed it quickly

after seeing dozens of bags of what was quite obviously blood. 'This is

a dream,' he thought. 'A bad dream caused by too many fried dumplings and

the new Dracula movie.' He pinched himself, worked the needles loose

from his skin and decided this wasn't a dream after all. Shaking his

head, he took the elevator up to what appeared to his blurry vision as

an office. There behind the desk was a familiar shape... "Shampoo!" he

cried happily as he glomped her.

 

    "Aaaaaa!" screamed Cordelia. "Gunn! Wesley! Get this freak OFF of me!

Oh, God, first the visions, then the migraines, and now this?"

 

   Sometime later, after they'd beaten Mousse into submission and tied

him up, bandaged various gaping wounds, and remounted the office door,

they sat in a circle trying to make sense of the senseless. "So you fell

asleep in Tokyo and woke up here in Angel's bed? That's powerful magic,"

Wesley marveled. "I wouldn't dare attempt something like that even if

I knew the spell."

    "I still say this has something to do with Buffy moving to UPN,"

Gunn insisted. Cordelia hit him with her purse.

    "Shut up," she suggested.

    "You expect me to believe that you three work for a *good* vampire?"

Mousse asked skeptically.

     "It's a complicated story," Cordelia agreed. "He used to be evil,

then he was cursed by the Gypsies, then he fell in love with the Slayer-"

    "Which one, Lina Inverse?" Mousse interrupted. "I just love her

voice."

    "No, Buffy," Wesley said.

    "Must be one of the OAV characters," Mousse replied dubiously.

    "No, this isn't anime, this is real life," Cordelia snapped. "Anyway,

they got to knocking boots and he turned evil again, so after a lot of

angst on her part and evil deeds on his part, Buffy killed him and sent

him to Hell. Then he came back, helped her kill the principal before he

could open the Hellmouth, and  then moved to L.A. where he set up a sort

of detective agency."

   "Except we spend most of our time wasting vampires," Gunn added.

   "Well, Mousse, if Angel's been taken away from us, we have an opening

for somebody with a vast capacity for hand-to-hand carnage. You get to

date a gorgeous blonde police lieutenant, don't have to do menial labor

for a couple of crazed Amazons who don't respect you, and make decent

money for the first time in your life. What do you say?" Wesley asked.

    "My love for Shampoo will not permit it," Mousse said stubbornly.

    "Look, man, the chick don't love you. You got as much chance of

hooking up with her as I do with J-Lo," Gunn sneered.

    "How do you know that?!?" Mousse retorted angrily.

    Gunn reached into his backpack and pulled out a very dog-eared wad

of paper, held together by an enormous paper clip.  "It's right here in

the script notes, bro. Page 284."

    Mousse read quickly through the notes. "Damn, you're right," he

sighed as he reclipped the papers and handed them back. "Well, there

goes a year's worth of pointless animosity and mayhem."

    "Yeah," Gunn sympathized, "She was just stringing you along, messing

with your head. You're better off without her."

    "You're right. Let me out of these ropes and we have a deal."

    "All right!"

 

Chapter 3

Version 2.0

 

Disclaimers in Chapter 1

Change summary at end of chapter

 

    Lilah sat at her desk in the offices of Wolfram & Hart, staring at

a crystal sphere lit from within by a fiercely burning flame that stood

out even under the fluorescent lights. Her migraine was killing her. She

looked up at the huge man seated across the desk from her. "Some master

of the Dark Arts you are," she complained. "You were supposed to remove

Angel's soul so that he would become Angelus once again, not replace

him with some Chinese wacko who's managed to take over Angel's posse

and halve the demon population of Los Angeles in just a week."

    "I did what you paid me to do," the sallow-eyed Fiend of Fiends

replied.  "And I did it in the way you prescribed, disregarding my advice

to the contrary. You can hardly come whining to me about the results."

    "Look, the senior partners are VERY displeased," she countered. "You

know what happens when they're unhappy."

    He shrugged indifferently. "If they were powerful enough to dominate

me, we would not be having this conversation. Since they are not, your

threats mean nothing. You will simply have to clean up your own mess,

Lilah." He rose from his chair. "I must depart. My new album requires

some additional work."

    "You can't leave me like this, Rob!"

    He looked back at her with a steely glint in his yellow, glowing eyes,

and for a frightening second she thought she saw the X on his forehead

glow that same shade of yellow. "You were a fun groupie once, Lilah,

and the money was helpful.  I think a big-shot corporate lawyer should

be a big enough girl to handle her own problems, though. Good-bye."

    The door closed silently behind him, and Lilah lay her throbbing

head on her desk, turning out the overhead lights. Next to her head,

the crystal ball continued to burn with a cold, steady fire.

 

***************************

 

    Ukyo lay on the warm wood floor of her dorm room, enjoying the

feel of Anthy's surprisingly strong fingers working the knots out of

her muscles.  Normally after a fight she'd retire to a nice warm bath,

but this was definitely better. Anthy rubbed and stroked and the tension

flowed away, leaving Ukyo in a pleasant state of lazy comfort, passively

obeying Anthy's whispered command to roll over. The same strong fingers

worked all around her chest and stomach, then moved upward to caress

her breasts. Ukyo opened her eyes and was about to protest when she

felt soft lips on hers. It seemed perfectly natural to embrace Anthy

and return the kiss...

 

[Insert torrid lesbian sex scene here. You want detail, go read "Lemon

Sherbet". ]

 

    Afterward, they showered together and Anthy carefully dried her off

with huge bath towels that were far fluffier than any that Ukyo had

ever seen in her life. Ukyo felt more relaxed than she had in years,

and thought with a sudden pang that she had gone the entire day without

thinking once of Ranma.

    Anthy noticed the brief look of sadness cross her roommate's face.

"Ukyo-sama, there's no need for sadness. I am the Rose Bride, and we

are engaged. I knew you needed to relax, and I gave you what you needed."

    Ukyo shook her head. "It's not that, Anthy-chan. I was just thinking

of my fiancee...wherever he is."

    "He'd want you to be happy, wouldn't he?"

    "Yeah..." Ukyo said half-heartedly. Sometimes she didn't know what

to think of Ranma. It was an awkward situation he was in, thanks to

his stupid father, but sometimes she thought that he flirted with her,

Shampoo and even Kodachi just to annoy Akane, or perhaps out of some

need for the attention he'd lacked for so many years on the road with

his father.  Her train of thought was derailed by the sensation of Anthy's

arms enfolding her in a strong hug. "It's all right, Ukyo-sama. I'm here

for you."

    There was nothing to do but return the hug...and the kiss...and...

 

[Insert another torrid lesbian sex scene here]

 

    "Ohhhh, Ukyo-sama!" Anthy moaned. "I never realized spatulas could

be so...so stimulating!"

 

***************************

 

    Hikaru Gosenkugi uneasily eyed the two martial artists and the three

girls accompanying them. "You know, this is a little outside the scope

of what I've been studying," he complained, fiddling with the shining

dodecahedrons on his desk nervously. "There are a lot of schools of

magic, and..."

    "Look, Gosunkugi," Ranma explained patiently, "we don't know anybody

else who knows anything about magic," (that we want to talk to right now,

he silently added), "so you're all we've got."

    "Well, I'll do what I can. I'm not promising anything, you know."

    The uncomfortable silence was broken my the flat snap of plastic on

wood. Tatewaki Kuno leaned over so that he was face to face with the

seated freshman. "You now have all the financial assets you require,"

Kuno said quietly. "Find Akane Tendo and my sister."

    "H-hai, Kuno-sempai!" Gosunkugi stammered. "Well, we could begin by

seeing what sort of magic has brought these girls here..." He stood and

began pulling binders off his desk's shelf, flipping quickly through them

and mumbling to himself. After a few minutes and half a dozen binders,

he found the one he was looking for. "Yes, this is it. Come back here at

midnight...no, wait. Let's meet at Ucchan's. I'll have all the materials."

    "M-m-m-midnight?" Aiko and Yuko whimpered

    Gosenkugi looked blankly at them. "Well, of course midnight. Don't

you know anything about magic?"

    Keiko giggled, and Ranma rolled his eyes.

 

     A few minutes before midnight. Gosenkugi arrived at Ucchan's,

staggering under the weight of a bag nearly as large as he was. "Thanks,"

he gasped as Ranma opened the door and grabbed the bag. Keiko handed him a

bottled soda, which he waved off. "No, no thank you, I've been fasting to

increase my spiritual purity."  Once he recovered his breath, he looked

at the others.  "We need to perform the spell in the bedroom. That was

where Aiko appeared, and that is where the remaining traces of magic will

be strongest." They all trooped upstairs, and stood around uneasily as

the student magician rummaged through the bag, pulling out various odd

items. Eventually he poured a few dribbles of various powders into a

mortar along with what looked like a dried rodent of some kind, added

water, and pounded them all into a paste, which he proceeded to dab on

everyone's foreheads.

    "What is this goop?" Keiko complained.

    "Don't ask," Hikaru answered, "We don't need you getting hysterical

right now. All right," he said before taking a swig of the water,

"everyone join hands and form a circle around the bed." He then turned out

the lights, lit the candles in his headband, and began chanting. Whatever

language he was chanting in, it wasn't Japanese, but it obviously had

some effect.  A sphere of red light slowly came into existence over the

bed, and the dabs on the girls' foreheads shone with the same light.

Hikaru's chanting slowed and stopped, and the light vanished.

    "So what's the deal?" Ranma asked, as Hikaru moved to turn the lights

back on and snuff out his candles.

    "Nothing good," was the answer. "Whoever -or whatever- did this

used a lot of magical energy, which means they were a lot more powerful

than I could ever aspire to be. I can't tell how this was done, except

that no death magic was involved and...waitaminute." He began riffling

through the binders again and quickly found what he'd been looking

for. "Yes. This was definitely a combination of two different magics

being done simultaneously but with the same purpose in mind. Something

powerful interfered with both magics to amplify the effect, but it also

deliberately goofed up the effect as well. It's almost as if some very

powerful being was playing a joke on the original spell casters."

    "What then must we do?" Tatewaki asked.

    "I don't know," Hikaru confessed. "I do know somebody who might,

though."

   "Not Cologne," Ranma demurred.

    "No, actually there's a witch in California I've been learning from

through the Internet. She actually has some experience along these lines."

    "What kind of horrible place does she inhabit, that she has need of

such knowledge?" Tatewaki asked.

     "It's a town by the name of Sunnydale."

 

***************************************

 

    A ragged figure appraoched the gates of Ohtori Academy. Around his

head was a yellow-and-black bandana. The rest of his clothing was bleached

nearly colorless by the rains of many continents and the light of many

more strange suns as yet unseen by the rest of mankind. He looked up at

the gate. "Ohtori Academy," he mused. "Never heard of it before. Wonder

if I'm back in Japan?"  Suddenly he spied a familiar face among the

girls within. "A-Akane!"

    The familiar voice jerked Akane's head around. "Ryoga!" she cried

joyfully. Free at last! she thought. Running up to the gate, she was

stopped by one of the seniors. "No approaching the gate, Miss Tendo," he

sneered just before she punted him directly to the school infirmary. "Oh,

Ryoga, it's so good to see you! Ukyo and Kodachi and I have been here

for almost two weeks now, and this place makes Furinkan look sane!"

    "Can't you get out?"

    "It's forbidden by the school rules. Kodachi tried, but we found her

back in her bed the next morning babbling something about existential

terror and a bunch of other postmodernist philosophical garbage. Ukyo's

been busy pulping the Student Council because of this roommate of hers

that all the girls hate and all the Student Council wants to possess..."

    "You're right, it is weirder than Furinkan. Stand back."

    "Huh? Oh!"

    The section of wall next to the gate exploded in a shower of gravel

as Ryoga screamed "BAKUSAI TENKETSU!"

 

    Groundskeeper #1 turned to look at the damage. "Kuso! There goes

our monthly bonus."

    Groundskeeper #2 nodded. "Yup. I'll get the duct tape and the

cardboard."

    Groundskeeper #1 sighed. "I guess that leaves the sheetrock and

cement for me. As usual."

    Groundskeeper #2 nodded. "Yup. Better turn on the lawn sprinklers

while you're at it.

    "What for?"

    "That Hibiki kid. Can't abide cold showers."

    "How'd you know that?"

    Groundskeeper #2 spat disgustedly. "It's right here in the script

notes.  Page 88, see?" He brandished a sheaf of typescript at his partner.

    "Dang, you're right. I never get time to read all that crap. Well,

I better get moving on the sheetrock or the Chairman'll take our next

month bonus too."

    "Yup."

 

**********************************************************

 

    "I don't know what to do, Giles," Willow complained, wringing her

hands.  "Hikaru's been a good student, and even helped me research some

of the spells I've been working on, but what can I do for him now? I

can't just leave for Tokyo, not now!"

    "Yes, that's true," Rupert Giles admitted, polishing his glasses

before he put them back on. "Perhaps you could send him some assistance,

however."

    "Assistants? Like Tara? Oh, no, Giles-"

    "Actually, I was thinking of Amy."

    "But, but, she's still a rat, none of the spells we ever tried worked,

what good would that do?"

    "Well, if this Gosunkugi fellow is as bright as you say he is,

perhaps he has access to resources there that you do not."

    The red-haired witch thought for a moment. "He does seem to know a

number of people who have been through this sort of transformation. Maybe

he would be able to make this one spell work - I never seem to be

able to get all the stuff I need together for it to work right." She

brightened. "That's it! I'll mail Amy to him plus this spell and that

way everything should work out! Thank you, Giles!"

    "Oh, it was nothing," the former Watcher replied modestly.

 

************************************************************

 

    "I'm sorry, Miki," Ukyo said to the groggy young duellist. "I wish

you could understand that Anthy's not some object for us to fight over,

but a woman who makes her own choices."

    "She is the Rose Bride," Miki gasped, trying hard not to scream as

he felt his broken ribs move with each breath.

    Ukyo tossed her ponytail in annoyance. "We'd better get you to the

school infirmary. In the meantime - "

    Miki gaped in disbelief as the unconventional duellist removed her

uniform top and the bindings that restrained her breasts. Never having

seen an actual woman's cleavage before, he did what any red-blooded

Japanese boy would do: developed a nosebleed and passed out.

 

    Anthy giggled.

 

************************************

 

    "This is intolerable!" Toga raged. "In two weeks that miserable

peasant has thrown the Academy into an uproar! End of the World is

NOT pleased!"

    Saionji muttered something, but it was hard to tell what it was

through all the bandages. Since his duel with Ukyo Kuonji, he had been

attending Student Council meetings in a wheelchair, but most of his body

was still swathed in casts and bandages.

    "I don't see you rushing to challenge her," Juri observed coldly.

    "The moment is not yet right," Toga declaimed.

    Miki shifted uneasily in his chair. He felt more out of place than

usual at these meetings, all the more so since his injuries kept him

from indulging his stopwatch fetish. "Nevertheless, she must still be

confronted and defeated if we are to bring the world revolution," he

whispered. "I was...not ready for her."

   "Indeed, now that she wields the...the Spatula of Dios - " Toga's

lips worked as if he had suddenly bit into a lemon "-she is an even more

difficult challenge than when she wielded a merely material weapon."

    "Not that her technique was deficient to start with," Juri commented.

She sighed and stood up. "Well, I suppose it's my turn in the barrel."

    "If it's any consolation, Juri, End of the World tells me we have

another transfer student coming in."

    "So? I don't normally have anything to do with those."

    "It's Shiori, isn't it?" Miki whispered.

    Juri had been about to leave, but she spun back to face the President,

eyes narrowed. "Don't play games with me, Toga!  You know we were only

friends, and that was over before she left!"

    "Mmmm...really?" Toga smiled lazily. "I think you doth protest too

much, my dear. Yes, Shiori will be coming back to us. I'm sure she'll

be happy to see you."

    Juri left abruptly, the council president's quiet, mocking laughter

echoing in her ears. It was not until she was safely back in her own room

that she dared look at the picture in her locket. "I can't let myself

believe it," she whispered, the tears falling slowly from her eyes. "It

would be a miracle if she still cared for me, and I can't allow myself

to believe that..."

 

******************************************

 

    Nanami was gleefully watching her new henchwomen descend on Anthy

when suddenly she was yanked painfully backward and thrown against the

building behind whose corner she'd concealed herself.

    "What do you think you're doing?" a menacing voice whispered in

her ear.  "Are you so eager to be the latest entry in Kuonji-kun's

hit parade?"

    "Let go of me! You can't -" Nanami's complaint was cut off along

with the flow of air to her lungs.

    "Can't? That is not a word one uses to the Black Rose of Ohtori

Academy!" Nanami felt her spine turn to ice. In a few short weeks,

Kodachi Kuno had become the most feared of the three Nerima girls,

despite the fact that she never appeared to do anything. Nonetheless,

Ohtori girls who ran afoul of her invariably had something hideous,

embarrassing, or both occur. It had never occurred to Nanami that being

the sister of the Student Council President might be no protection at all

where Kodachi Kuno was concerned. "I've been watching you for some time,

Nanami-chan. You have some interesting qualities, and under the proper

guidance they could be quite useful when brought to full bloom. For now,

I suggest you call off your litter of puppies before the wrath of Ukyo

descends on all four of you," Kodachi whispered. "Now."

    The ribbon whipped away from Nanami's throat as quickly as it had

previously captured it, and the girl stumbled forward.  She rounded the

corner just as Ryoko was about to deliver a full-hand slap to the Rose

Bride. "Ryoko! What are you doing?"

 

    The girl froze, and looked at Nanami with wide-eyed surprise. "What

do you mean, Nanami? You said-"

    "Never mind what I said. Just forget it! Go on to your classes. You

too, Yoiko. Tetsuko, help Anthy pick up her books. That's right. Thank

you, girls! See you later!" She watched as they scattered, looking back

over their shoulders in confusion as Nanami stood there with a smile

plastered on her face.

    Anthy looked at her with the same confusion in her eyes. She muttered

an almost inaudible thanks and took off in the opposite direction,

leaving Nanami alone.

    Kodachi emerged from the shadow of the building where Nanami had been

watching. Like a panther stalking its prey, she moved smoothly across

the courtyard until she was almost touching the younger girl. "That was

well done," the Black Rose said throatily. "A little more training and

you should be just perfect. Meet me here tomorrow."  Her spine-freezing

laugh rang out once again, and by the time the blizzard of black

rose petals had dispersed Nanami was fleeing for her room. She knew

that despite the sick sensation of fear in her heart, that she would

keep that appointment. There was something fey about the Nerima girl,

something dark that called to her at a level she could barely sense. It

was a feeling she had never had before, but somehow she knew that if

Aiko or Yuko were with her, they would know it for what it was.

 

Change summary;

Dramatis Personae deleted from the beginning of Chapter 1.

Minor edits to dialogue in Chapter 1.

 

Major revision to Chapter 2 - duel scene revised to eliminate some

RL musicians originally intended to replace A-ko and B-ko and some

OOC behavior on Anthy's part. Spatulas delivered by minimally

obtrusive plot device. Minor change made to Samurai Cat/Utena scene.

 

Minor revision of the scene at Ucchan's in Chapter 3 with some

implications for later chapters.

 

Chapter 4

 

      Willow Rosenberg sat alone in her bedroom, her fingers flying over

the keyboard of her PowerBook. "Hikaru," she wrote, "I'm sending you a

few things that I hope will be of some use to you in your current

predicament. I'm also hoping you can help Amy out of her rat body,

and if you can she should be able to help out as well. Good luck,

and keep me posted! - W." She waited a moment, watching the little

e-mail note disappear from her desktop, and then logged off. Tomorrow

was going to be a busy day, and she needed her sleep.

 

*************

 

      "Something on your mind, Tendo-kun?" Kodachi had begun hanging

out with Akane for some weeks now, after Ukyo had pounded Saionji into

hamburger and taken up with Anthy Himemiya as a result. They weren't

exactly friends, Akane thought, but it was nice to see a familiar

face...and with Ranma not in the picture, the two actually got along

fairly well.

      "Yes...doesn't it seem a little weird to you that Ukyo spends so

much time with Anthy?"

      Kodachi smiled sadly. "Unfortunately, no. Regardless of the Church

teachings against such behavior, couples of that type are not at all rare

at St. Heberike. Especially among the girls boarding there...one might

almost think it a natural response to the absence of boys."

      Akane's eyes widened. "You don't mean...but that's perverted!"

she spat.

      A familiar spine-freezing laugh erupted from the Black Rose.

"Perhaps. Yet it all makes a certain amount of sense, ne? Poor

Kuonji-kun, hunting her childhood friend and fiance for ten long years,

only to find him engaged to another - and with two other would-be

fiances as well. It was obvious that she considered herself more

than just Ranma-sama's best friend, but what has she gained for

all her loyalty and patience? Certainly not the love and affection

he showers on you, Akane Tendo."

      "But Ranma --"

      "Loves you. That much is obvious, even if you are too blind

to see it yourself. Even if he is too bereft of social skills to

express it more clearly. Kuonji-kun can see this as well as I can...

it must be like a knife in her heart to see you with him."

      "And you? Doesn't it hurt you as much?"

      Kodachi smiled, but the smile never reached her eyes. "Perhaps,

but I would never admit that to you, of all people. The time away from

Nerima has given me time to think about my Ranma-sama--" she smiled

devilishly as Akane's mouth tightened "--and realize that as much as

I appreciate his obvious charms the two of us really have little in

common."

      "So why do you keep chasing him?" Akane's fists were clenched

by now, and her face had become hard along with her voice.

      "*That* is a secret, Akane-chan!" Laughing her trademark laugh,

Kodachi flipped backward and off the balcony, avoiding the savage

fists of the enraged Akane and bouncing off to her next class, leaving

the usual cloud of black rose petals and bewildered looks in her wake.

      Once she calmed down, Akane realized that she'd completely

forgotten about Ukyo.

     

**************

 

      Ryoga was totally baffled. Never before had he fit in so seamlessly

anywhere; never before had he been able to keep from getting lost for so

long. The school administrators accepted the fact of his presence as a

given, and it was simply assumed by all concerned that he was just

another transfer student from Furinkan on scholarship. His roommate, one

Mitsuru Tsuwabuki, stuck to him like a burr, and since they both had all

the same classes it was a simple matter for Ryoga to go from class to

class, to meals and then back to the dorm without once wandering off-

course. He had caught occasional glimpses of Akane since his first day,

but always at a distance, much to his frustration.

      All in all, Ohtori was a very strange experience for Ryoga Hibiki.

Little did he know that it was about to get much stranger.

 

      He rounded a corner one day on the way to class and stopped just

in time to avoid colliding with a girl...a girl who looked strangely

familiar. "Aren't you..."

      "Kuno. Kodachi Kuno. You're Ryoga Hibiki."

      Mitsuru tugged at his arm. "Ryoga, we'll be..."

      Kodachi turned a venomous glare on the boy. "You'd better run

along, little boy. You might be late for class." Taking the hint,

Tsuwabuki took off at high speed, looking back fearfully at the

unlikely couple. Kodachi watched him go for a moment, then turned back

to Ryoga. "Akane was surprised to see you turn up here, Ryoga. As I was.

How did you find your way here?"

      Ryoga flushed with embarrassment. "I don't know. I was trying to

get to Hokkaido for some training in the mountains, and I wound up here.

I guess it's a gift."

      "A gift. I would think it to be more of a curse, wandering

endlessly without a home or any knowledge of where one might be from

one day to the next. Well. Take my arm, Hibiki-san. We have some things

to discuss."

      "What do you mean?"

      "Akane has told me about your hopeless sense of direction - or

rather, of your complete lack of one. It occurs to me that you could do

both of us a service."

      Ryoga's head spun for a moment. Having Akane in his debt? "But...

but I..."

      "Aren't you her 'friend', Hibiki-san?" Kodachi watched him

carefully and smiled as the carefully aimed shot struck home. "'Friends'"

help each other all the time."

      The spinning stopped, and was replaced by depression. The world is

a dark and lonely place, Ryoga thought for the millionth time. "Yes. Yes,

I suppose they do."

      "Well, then. You need to carry a message for her to Tendo-sensei and

her sisters. Let them know she's safe. My brother, too, I suppose. Mister

Turtle no doubt misses me."

      "Mister Turtle?"

      "My pet alligator. The message for Tendo-sensei is more important,

though. Here." She tucked a note into his uniform pocket. "You should

pick up your pack before you go, too."

      Ryoga snapped out of his brief, depressed reverie and realized that

Kodachi had led him back to his room. Mechanically, he opened the door and

went inside. Kodachi followed him closely - he could smell the faint odor

of roses - and stood watching as he opened his closet. His pack, as

always, was ready to go. "Wait," he blurted out suddenly, turning to

face the girl. "Can't I talk to Akane...?"

      "No." Kodachi's one word fell with the certainty of an axe.

"There's no time for that now. You need to get going. Tendo-sensei is

probably crying himself to death already."

      Ryoga glared at her for a second, but dropped his gaze quickly as

he saw the madness glittering in Kodachi's eyes. She was plotting

something, just as she had before the battle at St. Heberike's. "What

are you going to do to Akane?" he finally ground out.

      Kodachi's eyes went wide for a moment. "Why, nothing, Hibiki-san.

Do you think that I should?" She laughed, and Ryoga knew fear as

something in that laugh scared him more than any enemy he'd ever faced.

Kodachi grinned and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "Don't worry,

Ryoga, she'll come to no harm at my hand. Or any other. You have the

word of the Black Rose of Ohtori Academy. Now, get going!"

      As Ryoga stepped out of his room, he could hear Kodachi whistling

a tune. Had he been exposed to more pop music than martial arts, he might

have recognized it as "Message In A Bottle".

 

********************

      Cologne was beginning to wonder if, somehow, she had totally

misunderstood the omens and portents surrounding her granddaughter.

Certainly, the girl was one of the most accomplished Amazon warriors she

had ever known, unquestionably the best of her generation, but her luck

was simply hideous. First the defeat at the hands of Ranma Saotome in

his girl form, then the groom's improbable success against all the

tricks and traps Cologne could throw at him, and now this.

      It looked like some weird confabulation of cat and man, as if a

man had been magically frozen in the middle of a Jusenkyo transition.

It walked. It talked. It had defeated Shampoo in combat. Now it claimed

the right to marry her granddaughter under Amazon law.

      "I don't see what the problem is," Shiro said, making googly eyes

at Shampoo while he demolished a bowl of shrimp ramen. "I defeated her

in combat. That means I get to marry her, right?"

      "If you can defeat her other groom, yes," Cologne grudgingly

admitted.

      "No big deal," Shiro shrugged. "I hear he's really phobic about

cats."

      Not for the first time, Cologne wondered what had happened to

Mousse. The blind duck-boy might actually have been useful in this

situation.

      "Well," Shiro said, "I guess I better go look up this Saotome

guy and get it over with."

      Cologne grunted. She watched Shiro saunter out of the Nekohanten.

Nobody had ever beaten Ranma Saotome, and she doubted that this young

psychopath was going to be the first.

 

********************

 

      Kasumi Tendo was used to seeing all manner of odd people and

things showing up at the front door of the Tendo house, despite the

sign which clearly read “Persons Wishing to Defeat Owner in Savage

Combat, Use Rear Entrance”. So when Shiro appeared to challenge Ranma,

she didn't bat an eyelash. "Ranma! You have a visitor!" she called.

 Turning back to Shiro, she asked, "Would you like some tea?"

      Ranma came downstairs in a foul mood. Gosunkugi was making no

progress, he was spending half his time running down pointless rumors,

and both his father and Mr. Tendo had become convinced that this was,

somehow, all his fault. He was in the mood to pound somebody flat, so

of course Ryoga was nowhere to be found either.

      He was not expecting to find Kasumi serving tea and cookies to

something that looked like a monster from a bad 1950s movie. "Hey,

Kasumi. Who's this?"

      Shiro stood and pointed at Ranma. "I, Shiro Tomokato, challenge

you to a duel for the hand of Shampoo!"

      "Not in here," Ranma said. "This room gets trashed enough by me

and my stupid father. Let's go to the dojo."

      "Wait a minute," Shiro said. "Why aren't you running away,

screaming in fear?"

      "Are you calling me a coward?"

      "No, but everybody knows you have a phobia about cats."

      "Yeah, but you're not a cat."

      "What? I am so! I am the nephew of the famous Miaowara Tomokato!"

      "Never heard of him. Come on, let's get this over with. I have

homework to finish."

      "But...but...you're supposed to be terrified of cats! I'm a cat!"

      "Nope. Cats have four feet and no hands. You have two feet and

two hands. You're not a cat."

      "But...but...what about all this fur?"

      "So you're some kind of mutant Ainu or Russian dwarf. Whatever."

      "Why can't you just accept that I'm a cat, dammit?"

      "Cats chase mice. You chase mice?"

      "Uh, no."

      "There it is. Look, if you want to pretend you're a cat, that's

fine with me, but don't expect me to freak out and run away because

you're a nutball." He turned and started walking to the dojo.

      Shiro was starting to get worried. This was not going according

to plan. Time to try plan B. "Okay, so I don't look like a normal cat.

But you don't really want to marry Shampoo, do you?"

      Ranma stopped. "Not really. On the other hand, I went to a lot

of trouble to keep her from having to marry the Ghost Cat, and he was

a lot better looking than you are. Who the heck are you, really?"

      "I told you. Shiro Tomokato. My family's from Kyushu, down by

Katoshima."

      Ranma thought for a minute, but the name still didn't ring any

bells. He shrugged. Another day, another idiot. "OK, well, any time

you're ready, Shiro."

 

(About five minutes later...)

 

      Shiro moaned. He had never felt so much pain in his life. Every

bone in his body hurt. All of his internal organs felt as if they'd

been beaten into different shapes. His skin hurt. His eyes hurt. Even

his claws and fur ached.

      "You idiot." Ranma's voice made his head reverberate painfully.

"I thought you were some kind of hot-shot martial artist, and here

you turn out to be just another stupid freak."

      <If I had my Tommy gun, I'd show you who the stupid freak was,>

Shiro thought. <Owww.> Even thinking hurt.

      Ranma slung the battered kitten over his shoulders.

      "Where are you taking me?" Shiro whispered.

      "Back to the Nekohanten," Ranma replied. "They found you, they can take care of you."

      Shiro groaned.

 

***

 

      Cologne regarded the limp, furry body of Shiro impassively, then

turned the same gaze on Ranma. "Once again we are in your debt,

Son-in-law."

      "Ah, it wasn't nuthin'," Ranma demurred. "I don't know how this

loser managed to beat Shampoo in the first place."

      "Bad luck," Cologne answered bleakly.

      "Where is Shampoo, anyway? She hasn't - " Ranma caught himself

just in time, or so he thought.

      "Disappeared like the rest of your fiancees?"

      Ranma looked embarrassed. "Uh, yeah..."

      "No, she's just taking care of a little mouse problem we've

developed. Why did you not come to me about this, Son-in-law?"

      "..."

      "Did you think that perhaps I was involved? A logical conclusion,

perhaps, but still wrong. Ah, well. Do you want my help?"

      "Uh...not yet. There's a few more things I want to check first."

      "That you want to have that fumbling fool Gosunkugi look at, you

mean."

      "Yeah..."

      "Suit yourself, Son-in-law."

 

***

 

      Hikaru Gosunkugi regarded the Amy-rat, which stared right back at

him. It was a very beautiful rat, as rats went, and he supposed that

the human Amy was every bit as beautiful. Unfortunately, for all his

perusal of the Internet and various arcane texts he'd managed to

acquire, he was no closer to unlocking the secret of the

transformation spell than his sensei. Reaching for the thermos on the

edge of his desk, he accidentally knocked it over, and the still-warm

tea spilled into the cage. "Oops - oh!" he exclaimed as he saw the

transformation begin. He had ruled out the traditional cure for

Jusenkyo curses without even thinking twice.

      "<Owww>," complained the nude brunette crouching on the corner

of his desk where the cage had been. "<Couldn't you at least have

taken me out of the cage first?>"

      "Oh, great." Hikaru smacked his forehead. "My spoken English

sucks and she probably doesn't know a word of Japanese. <I'm sorry.

It was an accident.>"

      "Actually, I do know some Japanese," Amy replied. "Would you

get me some clothes? I don't suppose Willow sent any of mine along."

      "Er, no," Hikaru answered, looking away just in time to prevent

his nose from spurting blood at the sight of the deliciously nude

gaijin witch crouching on his desk. "I'll see if I can find

something." He got up from his desk and began rummaging desperately

in his dresser drawers. "Here, try these." He tossed a T-shirt and

sweatpants in her general direction, and waited to turn around until

the rustling of cloth had stopped.

      "Okay, you can turn around now."

      He did, and his jaw dropped. Amy was stretching, doing

interesting things to her chest in the process which were barely

concealed by the Bubblegum Crisis T-shirt. "Ah, that feels so good."

She leaned forward and swept Gosunkugi into a hug. "Thank you so much.

I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life in that damn cage."

      "I-it was an accident," he protested.

      "Whatever," she replied, and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"It still got me back into my normal body and that's the important

thing." She giggled for a moment, then asked, "So, what is your

bidding, oh great and powerful wizard?"

      He blushed. "Well, um, actually, Willow sent you along because

I've got a problem..."

***

 

      On his return to the Tendo home, Ranma found two of the Ohtori

Academy girls waiting for him, along with Soun Tendo and his father.

Keiko and Aiko knelt in the family room, but instead of wearing the

castoff clothes that Kasumi had retailored to fit them, they were

wearing a couple of Akane's practice gis. He blinked. "What's going

on?"

      Soun's lip trembled for a moment, but when he began speaking

his voice was firm. "Ranma, what progress have you made in finding

Akane?"

      "None, Tendo-sensei."

      Soun nodded thoughtfully. "We have had a similar lack of

success finding the relatives of Sonoda-san and Wakiya-san. It has

been three months since Akane has disappeared...and these girls

appeared in her place and that of Kuonji-kun. Things cannot continue

in this way."

      Ranma nodded, not fully understanding where his prospective

father-in-law was going with this.

      "After consulting with your father and my other daughters,

I have decided to adopt Keiko and Aiko into the Tendo family.

Saotome-san and I will begin training them in the School of

Anything-Goes Martial Arts."

      Ranma's mouth fell open. "You're- you're giving up on Akane?"

      Soun opened his mouth to reply, but Genma cut in roughly.

"Don't talk nonsense, boy. You will continue to search for Akane.

You will even consult with Cologne, if she is willing to help.

However, Tendo-san and I agree that if Akane cannot be found, our

houses must still be united. Kasumi is too old to begin training,

and Nabiki lacks the proper temperament. Keiko, on the other hand,

shows some natural talent and is still young enough to master the

Art."

      "What about you, Aiko?" Ranma asked.

      The other Ohtori girl looked away, her eyes moist. "I owe

Tendo-sensei for his hospitality. and there is no other way that I

can repay him."

      "Besides," Keiko pointed out, "you'll be marrying one or the other

of us. Once the engagement is announced, we'd better be ready to defend

ourselves."

      Ranma thought of Shampoo's likely reaction once she found that

Akane's shoes had been filled, and nodded. "The sooner the better."

 

chapter five - defections in the ranks

 

      Juri Arisugawa paced up and down the hallway on the fourth floor

of Ohtori's Administration Building. The offices there had never been

occupied, and the hallway itself was sufficiently wide that one could

walk there in the shadows and be completely invisible to the students

milling in the courtyard below. She had a bad case of nerves. Shiori

had once been her friend, but she had changed so much...she had swept

right past Juri before Juri could say anything, ignoring her as

if she were just another student, part of the background. Right into

the arms of Toga. That bastard, Juri thought furiously, the anger

burning the depression from her heart for a moment. He doesn't care

about her. He just wants another trophy. Doesn't she see that?

      "They told me I would find you here." The voice cut into her

thoughts like a dull axe.

      She turned to see Kodachi Kuno leaning against the railing,

gazing out into the skies over the Academy. "What are you doing here?

This floor is off limits!"

      "Off limits? To the Black Rose of Ohtori?" Kodachi laughed,

and Juri shivered. "You overestimate your powers, Arisugawa-kun.

The strictures of the rules are for *ordinary* students, but you and

I are far from ordinary. Aren't we?"

      "I am a member of the Student Council-"

      "I am not. And yet, I wield power here greater than any

conferred by a signet ring or a telephone message. Even End of the

World himself dares not restrain me, so long as I stay within the

walls. You know this to be true."

      Juri shivered again. The whispers of Kodachi's influence had

reached the Student Council, but End of the World had kept silence

on the issue. Toga had been unwilling to take action without

approval - Juri thought secretly that he was afraid that Ukyo would

defend Kodachi Kuno every bit as furiously as she did Anthy Himemiya.

It was clear that the Kuno girl had her own little coterie of

admirers in the Gymnastics Club and elsewhere - including, strangely

enough, Toga's little sister Nanami, who had finally stopped her

harassment of the Rose Bride. "Yes. Yes, you do seem to have established

your own little circle here. What do you want?"

      Kodachi shrugged. "I think it's more important for you to decide

what you want. None of you duellists seem to have any clear notion of

what you want the Rose Bride for, except for that hentai Saionji.

What miracles do you hope to achieve, Juri-chan?"

      The familiarity grated on her. "That's none of your concern."

      "WRONG." The coldness of Kodachi's reply was like a whiplash.

"Anything that concerns Ukyo Kuonji or Akane Tendo is my concern as

well." Her voice softened suddenly. "I know all about unrequited love.

I can see the signs, feel the scars, since I carry them myself. No,

I don't expect you to cry on my shoulder, Arisugawa-kun. I do expect

you to see that you have a friend in me if you want one, though."

      "Why?"

      Kodachi looked down for a moment, then gazed into Juri's eyes.

"We have a lot in common, you know. We both know what it's like to

build our lives around someone who proved, in the end, to be not

worth our love."

      Juri looked out over the courtyard. "I do, at any rate."

      Kodachi nodded. "There comes a time when one has to move on with

one's life. You, on the other hand, persist in these duels because you

think that somehow, in some way you don't understand, Anthy Himemiya

will give you the key to what you want. As if that were even possible."

      "I have no choice-

      "Then you are an animal, Arisugawa-kun." Kodachi's eyes had

hardened, and her tone was equally merciless. "Animals are prisoners

of their glands and their bodies. No matter how magnificent they

appear, they have no choice. Is that what you want for yourself?"

      "How dare you!"

      "I dare because I see something better in you, Juri Arisugawa.

I see a woman who is more than just a fine athlete, who has the

potential to be whatever she wants - IF she is willing to lift her head

and see things as they are, instead of blindly following the

dictates of a manipulative rapist."

      "So, what do you suggest, Miss I've-Got-All-The-Answers?"

      "For starters, I'd suggest *not* dueling Ukyo Kuonji."

      Juri laughed harshly. "I don't have a choice there. End of the

World has already spoken. I am to challenge Kuonji-san today, and duel

her this evening."

      "And if you do not?"

      Juri blinked. "What do you mean?"

      "What if you don't challenge Ukyo? What happens then?"

      "I, I don't know. Nobody has ever refused to duel before."

      Kodachi shrugged. "What can they do to you? Strip you of your

fencing club captaincy? Kick you off the Student Council?"

      "I suppose they could do that."

      "Throw you off the Student Council, anyway. You're captain of the

fencing club because of your skill, not because End of the World

insisted on it."

      Juri nodded. "True."

      "So they throw you off the Student Council. So what? You lose a

minimal amount of face. Trivial, really, next to the prospect of being

humiliated by Kuonji-san. Not to mention the prospect of severe bodily

injury through blunt force trauma."

      "You don't seriously think-"

      "Yes. I do. Saionji may have been mad with rage, and not half as

good at kendo as my dear brother Tatewaki, but he was still quite

competent. Kuonji-san beat him like a rented mule. Kaoru-san stayed out

of the hospital only because she was feeling merciful, not through any

great skill of his own. And you? You're good, Juri-chan, but you're not

nearly good enough to beat Kuonji-san. You know it in your heart.

You've seen her fight twice now. Do you really want to be the third

duellist carried off on a stretcher?."

      Juri turned and stared off over the courtyard. "Not especially.

Not when it wouldn't serve any purpose."

      "We both know it wouldn't."

      There was a gentle pressure against her back, the feeling of

arms slipping around her waist, and Juri turned to find herself in

Kodachi's arms. The Kuno girl had her head tilted backwards, her lips

parted expectantly and her eyes shining. For a moment Juri remembered

other embraces with another girl, and then the memory vanished as

Kodachi rose on her tiptoes to kiss her. She leaned forward, took the

black-haired girl in her arms and returned the kiss...

 

***

 

      Amy leaned back in her chair with a sigh. "Well, from what you've

found out and from what I can see, your original conclusion was

partially correct. Somebody wanted to switch out three of Saotome's

fiancees for the three Ohtori girls, and at the same time, somebody else

was trying to do a Trap-the-soul on Buffy's old boyfriend...and bungled

it. Then the *third* witch...wizard...whatever, they stuck their two

cents in and swapped Mousse for Angel. I imagine there are a lot of

unhappy magic-users out there."

      "Yeah. Now if we just knew who they were," Hikaru replied.

      "Well, I have a suspicion who one of them was, but I can't believe

he's that inept. He's nobody I'd care to mess with, but fortunately he

spends a lot of his time on the road with his band and doesn't mess

with people. Fortunately."

      "Ranma thought Cologne had something to do with it."

      "Mmmm. Her granddaughter's certainly the one who benefited from

all this, isn't she? Her pesky boyfriend dumped in California, her

competition slid off into some alternate dimension somewhere...

certainly a logical guess."

      "She denied it, though. I guess Ranma let slip that Akane was

missing, and Cologne asked him why he hadn't asked her for help."

      "Oops. Well, we're fresh out of answers here. Maybe we should

ask her. What have we got to lose?"

      "I don't know, and under other circumstances I wouldn't be

interested in finding out, but these aren't exactly normal

circumstances."

      "True. Well, we don't have to ask her right away." She leaned

over and took his face gently in her hands. "Besides, I haven't

thanked you enough for getting me out of my cage." She kissed him,

and shortly thereafter Hikaru found himself with a lapful of very

enthusiastic witch. Never thought dabbling in magic would work out

this well, he thought delightedly as he returned the kiss with

interest.

 

***

 

     "What do you mean, she's not going to challenge Kuonji-san?" Toga

Kiryu was shocked. Nobody had ever defied End of the World before.

     "That's what she said, oniisama. She said to give you this, too."

Nanami extended a small box and a notecard to her brother without

looking up.

     Her whole demeanor is disturbing, Toga thought. I've never seen

her this submissive and quiet...for that matter, why does she have a

normal girls' uniform on? He took the box, knowing before he opened

it what he would find, and indeed it proved to contain Juri's Rose Seal

ring. The note was a brief statement informing him that she had

resigned from the Student Council and would no longer be participating

in the duels. There was no explanation why.

     "Well." He cleared his throat and looked at the remaining members

of the Council, then at Nanami. "Well, I guess that means you..." His

voice trailed off as his little sister proffered a second box. Suddenly

he noticed that her hand lacked the Rose Seal ring.

     "No, oniisama. Mistress Kuno told me to resign after handing in

Arisugawa-sempai's ring. Here is my ring."

     "But...*Mistress* Kuno?!"

     Nanami kept her eyes lowered. "I've been silly and stupid,

oniisama. I love you as much as I ever did, but I can't fight your

battles for you. Anthy was never the problem between us that I

thought she was, and Kuno-sama showed me that...that I needed to

change. That I needed to decide what I wanted to accomplish here,

and whether possessing the Rose Bride would really help me get there."

     "But only the Rose Bride can bring the revolution!"

     "What revolution is that?"

     For a moment Toga was dumbstruck. "Don't you understand that the

Rose Bride has power?"

     "Yes, she does. She has the power to drive boys mad with lust,

and girls mad with hate. She has enormous power. Do lust and hate bring

the revolution, oniisama? What kind of revolution will it be? I never

thought about that before. I only saw that you wanted Anthy, and I

hated her for making you want her and driving you and Saionji-sempai

apart. You used to be such good friends, but now it's snipe, snipe,

slash..." She sniffled for a moment, then quickly dabbed at her eyes

with a black silk handkerchief. "I'm sorry. I'm being silly again.

I have to go. Mistress Kuno is waiting for me." She turned to go.

     Toga's arm shot forward. He grabbed Nanami and spun her around.

"Look at me, will you? What is wrong with you? Why are you out of

uniform?" With his other hand he lifted his sister's chin. For the

first time he noticed the fine chain of black metal that circled

his sister's throat. "What is this necklace? I've never seen it

before."

     "Mistress Kuno gave it to me and instructed me that I was to wear

it at all times. As a reminder."

     "A reminder of what?" Toga felt again that he knew the answer

already, that he and Nanami were merely reciting lines in a play

written long ago.

     "A reminder that before one can lead effectively, one has to

submit and serve. Please, oniisama, I have to go."

     "What is she doing to you?"

     "Nothing, oniisama." A mischievous smile lit her face, and for

a moment she looked like the Nanami he remembered. "Why, do you think

that she should?" Nanami laughed, and her laugh was eerily like that

of her mistress. She pulled gently away from her brother's

unresisting hand and walked quickly out of the Council room.

     Toga pulled the ring boxes out of his pocket, where he had

stuffed them before grabbing his sister. He placed them on the table

and stared at them unbelievingly. Who was this Kuno girl? How did she

dare to set herself against the wishes of End of the World?

     His reverie was broken by Saionji's harsh laughter. "Well, Mr.

President. I guess it's *your* turn in the barrel, isn't it?"

 

***

     The flight from Seattle to Tokyo was a long one, and Utena was

too keyed up to emulate her sensei. Tomokato was sprawled out and

dreaming, evidently, judging from the soft purring noises and the

kneading of his paws, which was shredding the armrests. Utena

looked at the in-flight video schedule.

 

1. Akira Kurosawa's RAN - Director's Cut

2. Lone Wolf and Cub: The Movie

3. Mystery Swordfight Theater 3000

4. National Kendo Championship Finals

5. John Boorman's EXCALIBUR

6. Sailor Moon Z Movie

7. NXE: Apotheosis Now

8. MTV Japan Total Request Live

 

    "Great," she thought disgustedly. "It's either anime, work-related,

or totally stupid." She clicked off the video screen, reached into her

bag and pulled out the book she'd picked up at Sea-Tac. She sighed

contentedly as she sank into the world of Dagny Taggart, Hank Rearden

and the mysterious John Galt. "Ayn Rand. Now *that's* entertainment."

 

***

     Winter had come to Nerima, and the snow had barely started when

the Tendos and Saotomes sat down to eat dinner. Ranma sat on the far

side of the table from his father, with Aiko and Keiko in between them.

It would be good training, he thought, keeping oji-san from stealing

their dinner. Tonight, Keiko had broken two pairs of Genma's chopsticks

before he'd given up, and she smiled a guileless smile at him.

"You were right, Saotome-sensei. It is all in the reflexes."

     Genma grunted in annoyance, and Ranma was about to rub a little

salt in the wound when the patio shoji abruptly slid open. The Saotomes

sprang to their feet, followed in moments by the two youngest Tendo

daughters, but the figure revealed in the opening radiated no battle

aura, just a massive weariness showing in the eyes that were all one

could see of the scarf-wrapped face.

     The figure closed the shoji, advanced slowly into the room and

seized the tea pot from where it sat next to Kasumi. Clumsily removing

the top of the pot with a heavily gloved hand, and tearing the scarf

away from his face, Ryoga Hibiki drained the pot in one long draft.

He removed the gray wool cap from his head and croaked, "I've come...

from Ohtori Academy." Overcome by the warmth of the room and his

exhaustion, he slumped to the floor, unconscious.

     Kasumi blinked. "I'd better put some more water on for tea.

Ranma, would you take Ryoga upstairs and put him in the furo? He

looks frostbitten."

 

     After Ryoga had thawed out and dressed in his normal clothes, he

joined the others at dinner. "They're fine," he said, answering the

question on everyone's mind. "but they can't get off campus. Kuno-san

tried, but evidently there's some sort of psychic barrier as well.

I've gone through all kinds of hell getting there and back. When I

found it the first time, I had to cross this desert, and on the way

back here I think I went through Siberia. If I hadn't found a hut

with these old clothes in it I would have frozen to death."

     "Can you find your way back?" Ranma asked.

     Ryoga stopped eating for a moment and regarded his rival.

"Eventually, yes. Eventually I get to wherever I'm headed.

The problem in this case, though, is that I don't really know just

where it is I'm going."

     Ranma ground his teeth in frustration.

 

***

     Tsuwabuki walked through the hallways of Ohtori with a decided

absence of spring to his step. Life had become dull since Hibiki-san

had disappeared. Despite his tendency to get lost, which thanks to

Mitsuru's sense of duty had been held in abeyance while the fellow

had been at Ohtori. He'd been an interesting roommate, full of wild

stories about improbable adventures in the strangest places and

martial artists subject to bizarre shape-changing curses. That had

all ended when Kuno-sempai had accosted them one morning and taken

Hibiki-san off kami knew where. The Student Council had been most

displeased. He didn't hang around with Nanami any more, either,

and that too was Kuno-sempai's doing. Nanami had changed a lot.

While she seemed nicer, she also seemed...weighed down by something

that Mitsuru was certain was also Kuno-sempai's fault. He wished

there were some way he could free Nanami from whatever strange hold

that Kuno girl had over her.

    "Well, Mitsuru Tsuwabuki! Haven't seen you in a while!"

    He looked up and saw Saionji in his wheelchair, pushed by one of

the other underclassmen. "Hello, Saionji-sempai. What can I do for

you?"

    Saionji laughed. "Ah, the ever-thoughtful Tsuwabuki. No, today's

your lucky day, Tsuwabuki-kun. We have a couple of vacancies on the

Student Council, and we agreed that you'd be an ideal fellow to fill

one of them."

    "But...but..."

    "No false modesty, Tsuwabuki-kun. We think you'll do an excellent

job. Next meeting's tomorrow after sixth period. And...this is for

you." Saionji extended his hand, and Tsuwabuki saw a small box in it.

The box seemed to open of its own accord as he watched. As if in a

dream, he reached out and took the ring, slipped it on his finger,

and clenched his fist. Saionji was watched him, smiling in a strangely

avuncular way. "Ah, good, it fits perfectly. You may be interested to

know that the Kendo club will be meeting directly after the Student

Council meeting is over, and under the circumstances I think you might

want to join."

    "Yes," Tsuwabuki whispered harshly. "Oh, yes."

 

***

     Toga relaxed on the bed and looked at Shiori. "Is something the

matter, Shi-chan? You seem...distracted, not all there today."

     "It's nothing. I'm just...thinking."

     "About what?"

     "Oh, old friends who suddenly turn cold."

     "Mmm. Quite a coincidence."

     "Oh?"

     "I was thinking of the same thing. Maybe even the same person.

You know that Arisugawa-san resigned from the Student Council, right?"

     "I heard. It's all over the school. She's taken up with that

creepy Kuno girl, too, and moved into the East Dormitory with her."

     "Really."

     "You're not surprised?" Shiori turned her head to look into

Toga's eyes.

     "Not terribly. It's never been a secret that our dear Juri-chan

has no love for boys."

     Shiori giggled. "Not from me, anyway. I didn't know it was common

knowledge."

     "Well, you learn things on the Student Council that you don't

hear out in the student body. You should have seen her face when I

told her you were coming back here."

     Shiori's eyes widened. "You didn't."

     Toga smiled lazily and ran a hand through Shiori's hair, down

across her bare shoulder and down her naked back. He pulled the girl

closer to him. "Of course I did. It was her turn to duel for the

Rose Bride in any case, and I thought I should give her a little

motivation." He kissed her lightly on the mouth.

     "You're *mean*," she whispered, and kissed him back.

     "You should talk. Making me wait a whole week."

     "Well..."

     "Seeing if maybe there was still a spark left in your old flame?"

     "Maybe I was. You didn't really mind, did you?"

     "Of course not." Kiss. "You know I was just-" Kiss. "-teasing."

     "Mmmmm, Toga-chan, do you have unfinished business to bring up?"

Her hands moved rhythmically, slowly, teasingly.

     "I believe I do...ohhh, Shi-chan!"

     Shiori began to kiss her way down Toga's chest, and he decided

the news about her appointment to the Student Council could wait a

while longer.

 

chapter six  - ill met at narita

 

     "Did you sleep well, sensei?" Utena asked as they walked toward

the baggage claim at Narita.

     "Marvelously," the cat replied. "I feel better rested than I have

in quite some time."

     "Good," his disciple replied, "because I think the night soil's

about to hit the fan." She pointed to a man clad entirely in black,

with only his eyes revealed by the scarf covering his face. He was

holding a large card on which TENJO UTENA and MIAOWARA TOMOKATO had

been written in magic marker, and next to him stood about a dozen or

so men, similarly clad but holding leafy branches in front of their

faces as if they were a pantomime forest.

     Spotting their quarry, the men dropped the branches and began

to draw shuriken, knives, sai, nunchaku, blowguns and other ninja

weapons from hiding places around their bodies as they advanced on

the cat and his student.

     "Surrender and die!" the one that had been carrying the card

called to them, as passengers vacated the area in a panic.

     "Shouldn't that be surrender *or* die?" Utena asked.

     "No, because then we'd be lying," the former card-carrier

replied. His compatriots snickered as they readied their weapons.

     Tomokato glanced at the baggage carousel. His bag and Utena's

had not yet emerged, and unfortunately this section of the airport

was free of display ads, preventing him  from employing Shi-tart-do,

or the Way of Crap Art, as a delaying measure. Was this to be the

miserable end of his long quest for vengeance?

     A man burst through the lines of spectators. He appeared to be

a young salaryman, dressed in a perfectly ordinary dark blue business

suit, except that his hair was gathered up in the traditional samurai

topknot, and he carried what appeared to be a four foot long loaf of

French bread. He looked at the black-clad men, and his lips drew back

in a snarl. "Ninjas," he growled. "I HATE NINJAS!" Emitting an ear-

piercing scream, he raced forward and struck with the bread at the

nearest of the ninjas, who promptly collapsed in a welter of gore

as the bread cleaved him from clavicle to crotch in one smooth

stroke.

     Apparently not, Tomokato decided, and burst into a full-tilt run

of his own toward the baggage carousel. Utena had beaten him there by

mere seconds, and in a flash both of them were armed and racing back

to where their rescuer was wreaking havoc among the ninjas. Heads,

limbs and viscera flew in all directions as the salaryman wielded

his lethal loaf, but his suit was being cut to ribbons and

discolored with his own blood as the ninjas fought back.

     The arrival of Tomokato and Utena soon brought matters to a

swift conclusion, with the last of the inept ninja falling back

stunned against the wall as Utena struck him with the hilt of her

sword. "I thought we might want to interrogate him," she explained

as the cat looked at her in surprise.

     "In my experience, the last one to die usually has a weak enough

will to babble all the necessary information," the salaryman said,

leaning on his bloodied loaf.

     "Ah," Utena said, preparing to deliver the coup de grace.

     "...no, wait...mortally wounded...must advance the plot," the

last ninja whispered, a timely bubble of bloody foam flecking his

lips.

     "Who sent you?" the cat demanded. "Who would be so lacking in

honor as to ambush us with ninja, and such spectacularly inept

ninja at that?

     "...who else...but Ohtori?" the ninja whispered, and died.

     "Look at this," Utena said sadly, holding up one of the nunchaku.

It was clearly labeled "Property of Ohtori Academy Ninjutsu Club".

"No wonder they fought so poorly."

     The cat closed his eyes for a moment, and clapped his hands.

"Namu Amida Butsu," he chanted. Opening his eyes, he looked at the

salaryman. "We owe you our lives, stranger. What is your name?"

     "Paul. Paul the Samurai."

     "Miaowara Tomokato. This is my student, Tenjo Utena - also

from Ohtori Academy, as it happens. We are bound there to take the

head of Akio Ohtori. Would you care to join us in our vengeance?"

     "No, though I thank you for the opportunity. I have just

returned from America, and fear that my pre-trip armoring against

the decadence of Western culture was insufficient. I must return to

my home and purify my spirit until I can no longer remember the

hideous sight of Britney Spears and Bob Dole appearing in the same

ad for Pepsi."

     "I wish you good fortune," the cat said, and bowed deeply. Paul

returned the bow and walked away, balancing the loaf on his shoulder.

One of the more blood-soaked chunks dropped to the floor with a plop,

revealing the tip of a fine Muramasa sword. "So," the cat observed.

"A man of hidden talents. Well. What time is the train to Ohtorijuku,

Utena?"

 

***

 

     "Takatsuki-sempai?" Shiori turned and saw Mitsuru Tsuwabuki

hurrying towards her. Despite being brought on to the Student Council

at the same time, she hadn't had much to do with Nanami's former aide,

nor he with her. He seemed to spend a lot of his time following Miki

around, when he wasn't in class or kendo practice.

     "What is it, Tsuwabuki-kun?"

     "Kiryu-sempai asked me to give this to you. He said it was in your

box at the Student Council office, and you must have forgotten to pick

it up." He handed her a small box, the sort jewelry commonly came in.

     "That silly. If he wanted to give me jewelry-“ She stopped

abruptly as the opened the box and saw what was inside. "Oh. Never

mind. Thank you, Tsuwabuki-kun. I'll tell him you got it to me."

     Mitsuru nodded. "You're welcome, Takatsuki-sempai." He walked

off, leaving Shiori staring at the locket in the box.

     She set her books down and removed the locket from the box. It

was a gold pendant, shaped like a rosebud. Her heart pounded in her

chest. Surely this couldn't be Juri's locket, she thought. Where

would Toga-chan have gotten it? She felt strangely detached as she

opened the locket and saw her own picture. "Kami-sama," she

whispered, "Oh, Juri." Everything seemed to spin around her

for a moment, until she closed her eyes and squeezed the locket

tightly in her hand. This doesn't change anything, she told herself.

It doesn't change anything at all.

     She opened her eyes and looked at the locket. If it doesn't

change anything, she asked herself, then why am I crying? She sat

on the bench holding the locket and staring at her own picture, deaf

to the ringing of the school bells. Eventually, she got up and headed

for the East Dormitory.

 

***

 

     Ukyo was walking back to the East Dormitory from the library when

she approached the top of the stairs. Being the target of various

Student Council members, to say nothing of Wakaba's glompage, she had

learned to trust her combat reflexes even at - or rather, especially

at - the seemingly quiet times of her life. So it was that when the

hairs on the back of her neck stood up, she flattened against the stone

wall to her right and reached out just in time to catch Kozue Kaoru by

the neckerchief of her uniform, a moment before  the coed would have

overbalanced and fallen down the stairs. "Why, Kaoru-san," Ukyo

grinned, "what a surprise to meet you here. You should be careful,

though. The stairs around here seem to be quite dangerous."

     "Urk," Kozue replied, her face slowly turning the same color as

her azure hair.

     "Oh, I'm sorry," Ukyo said contritely, giving the smaller girl a

slight shove backwards as she released her grip. "Are you all right

now?"

     "Yes," Kozue replied, glaring at Ukyo.

     "How's your brother? I haven't seen him around much lately."

     "Better, no thanks to you."

     Ukyo sighed. "Look, it was nothing personal. I think your

brother's a very nice, very smart, very good-looking guy, and if

things were different I'd probably be dating him. He dueled me

because of this ridiculous obsession the Student Council seems to

have with my roommate, some crap about her being the magical Rose

Bride, and it was just bad luck that I broke his ribs. Things like

that happen when you're not familiar with peoples' fighting styles,

you know."

     "It's still your fault."

     "Yes, and I'm sorry he got hurt. I didn't mean to embarrass him in

front of Anthy like that, either. I think that kind of innocence is

kinda sweet. Look, I have to get going here, but I do have a piece of

advice for you. If you're going to push people down the stairs around

here, be a little more selective. You try this on Kodachi, the odds

are good you'll find yourself hanging naked upside down on the

promenade before you know what hit you. There's a big difference

between martial artists and music teachers, and if you're going to

play nasty little games like this you better learn the difference.

Understand?"

     Kozue had gone pale at the mention of the humiliation Kodachi had

subjected one unfortunate coed to already. Nobody had been too clear

on the details, but apparently Takatsuki-san had made the mistake of

attempting to slap the gymnast in front of a number of other students

Nothing had happened at the time, but students walking to class the

next morning had been treated to the sight of Shiori Takatsuki

hanging upside down from one of the trees, completely naked except

for the rope that bound her arms and legs. "Y-yes. Not that I have

anything against Kuno-sempai."

     "Just as well. Well, ja ne!"

     Kozue watched her go down the stairs. She turned and found

herself face to face with Juri Arisugawa. "Arusigawa-sempai!"

     Juri eyed her coldly, then followed Ukyo down the stairs. There

was no way to tell how long the fencing captain had been standing

there, or how much she might have heard. Kozue shivered and walked

off in the other direction.

 

***

     "Very good, very good," Saionji said encouragingly as kendo

practice came to an end. Mitsuru and Shiori were coming along quite

nicely, considering the short period of time they had to prepare.

Of course, Shiori had been on the fencing team before, and having

her rejoin the Ohtori team had been considered, but he had agreed

with Toga that doing so might tip their hand. Juri was still captain

of the team, after all.

     "Why do you keep saying that?" Miki asked sotto voce. "They're

terrible. Well, Shiori's not that bad, but Mitsuru is just pitiful."

     Saionji turned stiffly -it was only a few weeks since he'd been

out of the wheelchair- and replied in the same low tone, "We have to

keep their spirits up so they can maintain a positive attitude. You

know they're bad, and I know they're bad, but if they think they're

coming along and making progress, their attitudes will be much better

than if we were brutally honest with them."

     "I see."

     "How's the fencing team?"

     "Unsettled. Arisugawa-sempai hardly talks to anyone any more - she

comes in with Nanami, does a little bit of instruction, and spends the

rest of the time practicing with Nanami."

     "Really? And how is our President's little sister?"

     "Better than these two. Maybe better than me, at this point. She

learns *very* quickly."

     Saionji thought for a moment. "You don't suppose Kuno-san is

recruiting a cadre of duelists in case Kuonji-san falls, do you?"

     "How could that be? None of them have the Rose Seal, and none of

them are members of the Student Council."

     "You're right, but I do wonder. After all, Kuno-san is no slouch

as a martial artist, and that Tendo girl certainly knows something

about kenpo." He rubbed his jaw, wincing slightly as he recalled how

Akane had struck him at their first meeting. "Well, not really my

problem, I guess. I'll leave that sort of problem up to our dear

 Seitokaicho."

 

***

     Ranma and Keiko walked home from school arm in arm. Ranma still

felt strange about being engaged to Keiko, but he had to admit it was

nice having a fiance that actually seemed to like him. Keiko had yet

to call him "baka", could actually cook edible food, and confined her

combativeness to the dojo. She was also considerably more affectionate

than Akane had ever been, both in public and in private, which was

definitely a plus. Last and probably least, she'd stopped putting her

hair up and had settled for leaving it loose around her shoulders.

Ranma thought it looked a lot better than the odd ponytails she'd been

in the habit of wearing when she first arrived.

     This pleasant train of thought was suddenly derailed by a small

shape hurtling toward Keiko. Just as Ranma was about to shout a

warning, Keiko looked up and dropped into a fighting stance. As the

shape flew toward her chest, she suddenly struck down with a fist and

trapped the small body under her foot.

"Well, if it isn't Grandpa Happosai," she said disgustedly.

"The little pervert's even faster than Kasumi said he was. Ranma,

would you get my bra away from him, please?"

     Ranma carefully extracted the brassiere from the grip of the

unconscious Master of the Anything Goes School. "I hope you know what

you're doing," he said to Keiko as she deftly slipped the bra back on

without removing her blouse.

     "Oh, no problem," Keiko replied. "This is just a quick kata that

Kasumi-oneechan showed me."

     "Say what?"

     "She may not be much in the dojo, but have you ever noticed that

she's the one woman Grandpa Happosai never messes with?"

     "Now that you mention it, no, I hadn't," Ranma admitted.

     "Apparently she learned a few techniques by studying various

scrolls that she found in her mother's things, and refined them with

some things she learned from Dr. Tofu's shiatsu texts. She made sure

Happosai knew about it, and I guess the idea that she'd learned her

mother's secret techniques was enough to scare him off. Her mother

must have been one strong martial artist."

     "Wow," Ranma commented, thinking back on all the times Happosai

had whipped him in combat. "Think you could teach my girl side some

of those?"

     "Maybe," Keiko purred. "Why don't we talk it over tonight?"

     Ranma blushed. "Uh, sure. Thanks!"

     His new fiancee turned away slightly and smiled a sultry smile

over her shoulder. "You're welcome, Ranma dear. Now, help me tie up

the old perv so we can park him at the Nekohanten and enjoy a quiet

dinner at home."

     Ranma turned to and quickly helped her truss up Happosai. "You

must have hit him harder than I thought. Normally he'd have recovered

by now."

     "Maybe he's been too long between fondling sessions," Keiko

remarked disgustedly. "I can't wait to see his face when he wakes up

and finds Cologne staring into his beady little eyes."

     "You sure you're not part Chinese?" Ranma asked.

 

***

     "You've GOT to be kidding me," Ukyo said, looking at Mitsuru and

trying unsuccessfully to repress a smile. "You're a fourth grader.

I've been wiping the Dueling Floor with people twice your age."

     Tsuwabuki stood stiffly in front of her, his Duellist uniform

seeming absurdly large on his small body. Nonetheless, it fit him

perfectly. "I'm not joking, Kuonji-sempai. End of the World has

decreed that I am to duel you for possession of the Rose Bride."

     Ukyo threw up her hands and turned to Nanami, who was standing

a little apart from the duelists, watching Tsuwabuki bemusedly. "Talk

some sense into him, will you, Nanami? He used to be your boyfriend,

right?"

     "Not really," Nanami replied guiltily. "Mitsuru, you can't do

this. You're not a swordsman. Look what happened to Miki! Do you want

that happening to you?"

     "I've been training with Saionji-sempai," he replied stonily.

"Somebody had to take your place after you quit."

     "Why you?" Nanami asked.

     "Don't you know, Nanami-sempai? Don't you have any idea?" A

bleak look came into Tsuwabuki's eyes. "So be it, then. I'm not here

to argue with you. I'm here to deliver a challenge, and I've done

that. Kuonji-sempai, I'll see you tonight."

     After he'd left, Ukyo turned to Nanami. "He was really carrying

a torch for you, wasn't he?"

     Nanami stared out the window, through which Mitsuru could still

be seen crossing the commons back to the building where the Student

Council had its meetings. "I guess he did...does." She shook her

head, and looked at Ukyo. "You don't think I led him on, do you?"

     Ukyo shrugged. "You people are all pretty damn weird. Kami-sama

alone knows what he was thinking. Well, this should be different.

I've never fought a midget before." She giggled briefly, but stopped

when she realized Nanami had gone back to staring out the window.

 

***

 

     Kodachi relaxed alone in the East Dorm furo. It had been a good

day. Her studies were going well, the gymnastics team was finally

measuring up to her exacting standards, and she had successfully

humiliated Shiori Takatsuki and gotten away scot-free. Thus her

fearsome reputation as the Black Rose of Ohtori Academy grew; it was

icing on the cake that Takatsuki-san was also a member of the Student

Council. The door slid open, and Kodachi looked up, tensing slightly.

She relaxed as she saw that it was Juri.

     "What's the matter, Juri-chan? You look sad."

     "This matter with Takatsuki-san. Don't you think it was a little…

excessive, Ko-chan?" The expression on the fencing captain's face was

difficult to read, but Kodachi was sure that her friend was not

pleased.

     "Perhaps. You understand, however, that I cannot have

underclassmen attacking me in public, and especially not members of

the Student Council. She should have known better to begin with, and

now she won't forget."

     Juri sighed and sank lower in the water. "No, she won't. She

won't stop, either, Kodachi, and if she can't strike at you she will

strike at others."

     "Are you worried about Ukyo? Ukyo's beaten better duelists than

Shiori. I don't think Ukyo will have any trouble with her."

     "I suppose you're right. Still…"

     "Look, Juri. I know some part of you still cares about Shiori,

and it must have hurt you to see her like that. I'm sorry. However,

I can't afford to show weakness to these people. You, of all people,

should know that. The minute I look as if I'm not willing to stand

up for myself, they'll eat me alive."

     Juri nodded, but the sad expression remained on her face.

 

chapter seven - the replacement duellists

 

     "I don't care if it is Tsuwabuki's turn. I want to go next."

Shiori's face was a mask of pure rage. "You have to let me go next."

     Toga spread his hands and shrugged. "It's not up to me, Shi-chan.

End of the World decides who fights, and when. If it were up to me, I'd

certainly say yes. However, it isn't, so I can't."

     Without a word, Shiori turned and stalked out of the Student

Council meeting room. The remainder of the council watched her go, but

it wasn't until the door had closed on the elevator that anyone broke

the silence.

     "Just as well," Saionji commented. "She's too angry to fight well

right now. She does best when she's able to focus, when she feels she

has the advantage."

     "It so happens that End of the World agrees with you, Kyouichi.

This week, Tsuwabuki-san duels, and next week, Takatsuki-san." Toga

checked that item off on the agenda and turned to Miki. "Any luck

finding out who, exactly, was responsible for Takatsuki-san getting

hung up in that tree?"

     Miki clicked his stopwatch and sighed. "Everyone is of the

opinion that Kuno-san was responsible, but nobody admits to having

actually seen her do it. Kuno-san, of course, denies it and said,

quote, 'it was very unfortunate that Takatsuki-san was forced to

endure such humiliation,' unquote. "

     Toga ground his teeth. "This reflects poorly on the Student

Council. From now on, none of you are to go anywhere by yourselves."

     Saionji looked at Toga. "Wasn't Takatsuki-san with you last

night?"

     Toga looked grim. "Unfortunately, no. I wouldn't have allowed

her to confront Kuno-san if she had been with me."

     "You think she's responsible too, don't you?"

     "Well, of course!"

     Saionji stood up. "It's not a good thing if the students are more

frightened of Kuno-san than they are of us, Saitokaicho-san. Perhaps

you should mention this to End of the World. Move to adjourn."

     "Seconded," Mitsuru piped up.

     "Any objections?" Toga looked around the table. "Motion carries.

We'll meet tomorrow afternoon after sixth hour. Meeting adjourned."

 

***

 

     "I didn't know you had an older brother here," Ukyo said as they

got into the elevator in the Administration Tower.

     Anthy smiled. "Yes. He's the Acting Chairman of the Board of

Trustees. I usually stop by on Saturday nights, since he's so busy

during the week."

     "Does he know about the Student Council and the dueling?" Akane

asked.

     "No, I don't think he does...and I'd really rather he didn't."

Anthy gave Akane an imploring look.

     "He won't hear anything from me," Akane replied stoutly. Both

Ukyo and Kodachi nodded their heads in agreement, and Anthy smiled.

     The elevator door opened onto an enormous space that seemed to

take up the entire top floor of the Tower. There was an immense

planetarium projector in the middle of the room, looming over a pair

of couches and a coffee table that looked like dollhouse furniture

next to the enormous device.    

     "Onii-sama! I'm here!" Anthy called out.

     "Is that moaning?" Akane asked, a blank expression on her

face.

     "Kanae-sempai, are you here?" Anthy called out.

     "Anthy!" Ukyo hissed, scandalized.

     "What, Ukyo-sama?" Anthy regarded Ukyo blankly. "Kanae-sempai

often visits my brother. They're engaged to be married, after all."

     "Yes, but - " Ukyo stopped mid-sentence and blushed. There

really wasn't any delicate way to say what she'd been thinking.

Kodachi glanced at her, a look of amusement flashing briefly across

her face.

     "Well, I guess they're busy," Anthy said obliviously. "I'll go fix

some tea." She headed off to a door next to the huge projector's

mountings.

    

     As she disappeared into the kitchen, a pair of figures climbed

down from a platform atop the projector. One was a blonde dressed in

the girls' uniform of Ohtori, and the other a dark-skinned man with

long, pale purple hair tied back into a ponytail, obviously Anthy's

brother. He smiled at them and waved them toward the couches. "You

must be Anthy's friends from Nerima," he said. "I'm Akio Ohtori, and

this is my fiancee Kanae Ohtori."

     "Pleased to meet you," Akane said.

     "Likewise," Kodachi said, smiling slightly as she watched

Kanae's furtive attempts to straighten her disheveled uniform.

"Being engaged seems to agree with you, Kanae-sempai. You're

positively glowing!"

     Ukyo shot a dirty look at Kodachi, which the latter

beatifically ignored. "Are you cousins? I notice you both have the

same family name."

     Akio laughed. "No, Kanae's family adopted me. I've always been

interested in astronomy, so it was fortunate for me."

     Kanae pouted slightly. "I think sometimes he likes looking at

the stars more than he does looking at me."

     "Nonsense. If I find a comet, I'll name it after you."

     "You're hopeless!" Kanae laughed.

     "Ah, Anthy. I'm glad you brought your friends to visit."

     "We weren't interrupting anything, were we?" Anthy began to

set out the teacups and pour tea.

     "No, Kanae-chan and I were just doing a little stargazing."

     "Looked more like watching the submarine races to me,"

Kodachi muttered.

     "Shut up!" Ukyo hissed.

     "I'm ignoring my obligations as a host," Akio said contritely.

"Could I interest you girls in some apples? They're really quite

excellent."

     "Thanks," Ukyo said.

     "They're very nice," Akane said, taking a big bite out of hers.

     "No, thank you," demurred Kodachi. "I really prefer lemons and

limes, myself, and the occasional banana - Kanae-sempai, are you all

right?"

     The blonde dabbed frantically at her uniform. "I think some of

the tea went down the wrong pipe," she wheezed. "I was going to say

that the occasional banana's a good thing, so long as you don't

over-indulge."

     "They're hardly in season," Akio disagreed. "One might as well

discuss eating cactus."

     "Sounds like something Juri-sempai would say, doesn't it?"

Kodachi whispered to Ukyo.

     "Damn you," Ukyo spluttered.

     "Ukyo-sama, are you all right?" Anthy hovered over her roommate

anxiously.

     "Can't handle her cactus - I mean, her tea," Kodachi snidely

observed.

     Akio grinned. "You're a spirited one, Kodachi-kun. I like that."

     "Thank you, Ohtori-san," Kodachi replied demurely.

     "It's one of the things I like about the Academy," Akio smiled.

"It's a peaceful place, with no fighting. You can get a lot done in

that kind of an environment. Especially with such spirited students."

     "I'm glad to be here," Kodachi said. "It's so unlike my old

school. Catholic schools are very good at the fundamentals of

learning, but there's something to be said for a coed academy that

encourages talents like Kaoru-san to shine."

     "To say nothing of having a sensible administration," Akane

chimed in. "Nothing personal, Kodachi, but your father needs help.

He really shouldn't be a principal."

     Akio's eyebrows rose. "Your father is an educator?"

     "Yes," Kodachi replied. "He left the family business after my

mother died and went into teaching. He's currently the principal at

Akane and Ukyo's old school. I'm afraid he's somewhat eccentric...

he has a strong preference for American teaching methods, and a

fetish for things Hawaiian."

     "Well, we all have our odd little foibles," Akio smiled. "This

has been fun, but I need to get a little work done tonight. Thank

you for bringing your friends, Anthy."

     "Certainly, Onii-sama. Good night, Kanae-sempai."

     "Oh, Anthy! You can call me 'sister', you know. We're practically

family, after all."

     Anthy smiled but said nothing.

     "Thank you for having us over, Ohtori-san," Ukyo said.

     "Yes," Akane nodded. "And thank you for the apple. It was

excellent."

     "I'm glad you liked it," Akio smiled. "There are plenty more if

you want them. Thank you for coming, Kodachi-kun. Feel free to stop

by again."

     "Thank you, Ohtori-san." Kodachi smiled enigmatically.

 

     "So what was the Chairman like?" Juri asked once Kodachi was

back.

     "I need to take a shower," Kodachi replied. "I feel slimy.

Nanami."

     "Yes, Mistress Kuno," Nanami answered, picking up the soap and

towels.

 

***

 

     "You're determined to go through with this foolishness, eh?" Ukyo

asked as she reached the Dueling Arena and found Mitsuru Tsuwabuki

waiting for her.

     "As you say," the youngest member of the Student Council replied

coldly. "I intend to win the Rose Bride from you and reclaim Nanami-

sempai from the clutches of Kuno-sempai."

     "Well, that would take a miracle, honey," Ukyo agreed. "So

would your defeating me. Come on, kid, let's get this over with."

     With a shout, Mitsuru attacked. Ukyo observed his technique for

a minute and then decided to end matters quickly. She had been

holding the young duellist at bay, using her battle spatula as a

sort of quarterstaff to fend off his thrusts, but now she shifted

her grip and began to strike back. Tsuwabuki found himself unable to

get close enough to strike with his sword and began to try dodging

past the blade of the spatula. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough

to make up for his disadvantage in size.

     Ukyo squatted and swept his legs out from under him, and as he

fell on his back she was on him. The huge blade of the spatula

descended toward him, and Ukyo felt shamed as she saw the fear in

the boy's eyes. She pinned him gently with the blade, and the sword

fell from his fingers. Reaching down, she plucked the white rose from

Tsuwabuki's chest and threw it aside. The whole duel had lasted three

minutes at the most.

     She heard the click of Miki's stopwatch, as if in confirmation.

Looking at Mitsuru, she lifted the blade of the spatula and extended

her hand to help him up. He took it, not looking at her, but she could

see tears in the corner of his eye. "Don't, Mitsuru. There's no need

to feel ashamed. You did your best."

    "I failed," he said dully.

    Ukyo sheathed her spatula and took him by the shoulders. "Look at

me, Tsuwabuki-kun. It was very brave of you to fight me. You had no

way of knowing that you wouldn't get maimed like Saionji-sempai, or

hurt like Kaoru-san. You showed great spirit, and your technique was

very good. Had you been a few years older and a foot taller, I would

have been in serious trouble. Someday you will be an excellent

swordsman, but not today."

     "Thank you, Kuonji-sempai," Mitsuru whispered.

     Ukyo took him in her arms and hugged him for a moment. "Be

careful, Tsuwabuki-kun. You have the kind of heart that some people

take advantage of, and you're too nice a person to get hurt like

that."

     Mitsuru hugged her back. "So are you, Kuonji-sempai. Take

care." He released her, picked up his sword and walked away, his

back straight and his head up.

    "He fought well," Anthy said.

    "Yes," Ukyo agreed. "Better than I expected."

    "One wonders if Takatsuki-san will fight as well," Anthy said.

    Ukyo nodded. "Oh, yes. I expect her to be a real handful."

 

***

 

    Akane sat by herself under one of the trees in the courtyard,

munching thoughtfully on a rice ball from one of the cafeteria's

bento boxes. She had grown used to eating lunch by herself, though

she didn't really like it much. It was just one of the things that

seemed to come with being one of Kodachi's friends, even if all that

meant was that they were from the same place and slept in the same

dorm. They actually didn't see much of each other - Kodachi, Nanami

and Juri tended to be busy with gymnastics and fencing club matters,

which left Akane alone most of the time except when Ukyo and Anthy

came out of their room for lunch. That didn't happen too often.

     So it was a surprise to see a shadow fall across the book she

was reading during lunch. She looked up to see the smiling face of

Wakaba Shinohara. "Hi, Akane! Mind if I eat with you?"

     Akane smiled and shut her book. "Not at all, in fact I'm glad

you're here. I hate eating lunch by myself, and it seems everyone

else in my dorm has something to do over lunch."

     Wakaba nodded. "Or Kodachi scares them off," she said, taking

a big bite out of a cucumber roll.

     "I'm sure she doesn't do that on purpose," Akane demurred.

     "No, she doesn't," Wakaba agreed, "but you know people tend to

avoid you just in case."

     Akane nodded. Nobody wanted to get on Kodachi's bad side, even

by accident. "Most of the time it's OK, but I do like some company

now and again. Especially when I'm so far from home."

     "Well, that's why I'm here!" Wakaba smiled.

     "I've missed you," Akane grinned. "You're so perky it's

impossible to be depressed around you. Why haven't you been coming

by the dorm? You used to drop in on Ukyo a lot when we first got

here."

     Wakaba looked embarrassed. "Well, she got pretty involved with

Himemiya-san, you know. Besides, we got off on the wrong foot when

she first got here. Utena-sama and I go way back, but it's not like

that for me and Kuonji-san, and I guess it was silly of me to try

and make things be the same."

     "I guess. Still, I'm glad you decided to eat lunch with me.

Feel free to stop by the dorm sometime, won't you? I can't study

and practice kenpo all the time."

     "Sure!" Wakaba looked at the clock, "Whoops, almost time for

class. Later, Akane!"

     "Later, Wakaba!" Akane smiled as she headed off to her next

class. I wonder if Wakaba can tell me what I'm doing wrong in the

kitchen, she thought.

***

 

     "Shiori, I think it might be best if we stopped seeing each

other for a while," Toga said reflectively.

     "Oh? Why would that be? Are you embarrassed to be associated

with me after what happened the other morning?"

     "No, it's not that," he demurred.

     "Or are you just trying to get me all wound up about my duel

with Kuonji-san?"

     "No, it's not that, either. Saionji says you fight better

when you're not angry and upset, and I believe him. Besides, I

wouldn't do that to you. You already have perfectly good reasons to

duel her and possess the Rose Bride."

     Do I really? Shiori wondered for the first time since being

invited to join the Student Council. How would I want to

revolutionize the world? "Of course," she lied. "It's why I expect

to win. Don't change the subject on me, though."

     "Well…I just feel a little restless, that's all. I think we

both ought to see other people, sample some different experiences.

Isn't that what school is all about?"

     Shiori laughed. "Can't expect a tiger to change his stripes,

can I? Well, I knew you were a playboy when I started going with

you, so I can't say I'm too surprised. I've been attracting some

attention myself lately, you know. So maybe this isn't a bad idea."

     "You're not angry, are you?"

     "If you'd called me on the phone and dumped me, I'd be furious.

This is different. Now roll over. I want to make sure your next

girlfriend seems totally inadequate to your needs."

     Toga stiffened and groaned as Shiori bent over him…

 

***

 

     If nothing else, Ukyo thought, Shiori Takatsuki was definitely

the best-looking Duellist she had yet faced. Had Kyuichi Saionji not

behaved like a complete maniac, he would have been her favorite hands

down, but since he hadn't…"So, Takatsuki-san, what's behind your

burning desire to possess the Rose Bride? Feeling lonely since Kiryu-

sempai dumped you?"

      "Not hardly," Shiori replied coldly. "My reasons for desiring

the power to revolutionize the world would be of no interest to you."

     "Well, I hope you're as good as the rumors say. You're not in

fourth grade, so I won't go easy on you."

     "Trying to psych me out, Kuonji-san? So sorry, that's not going to

work. If you think you're going to have an easy fight by getting me

angry, you'd better think again." Anthy had by now affixed a mulberry-

colored rose to Shiori's jacket, and Shiori saluted Ukyo with her

sword. "En garde, Kuonji-san."

     Ukyo quickly realized that she had underestimated her opponent.

Shiori was both quick and skilful, and her technique reminded Ukyo

somewhat of the way Juri fought in her occasional practices. Shiori

pressed her attacks hard, and parried Ukyo's attacks with a cold

competence that made Ukyo wonder if, perhaps…No. Ukyo pushed the

thought of possible defeat out of her consciousness. "I - will -

not - lose!" she grunted as she blocked yet another strong attack.

     "Oh, yes, you will!" Shiori answered, speaking for the first

time since the duel had begun. "The Sword of Dios and the Rose Bride

shall be MINE!" Stop-thrust. Disengage. Strike. Parry. Strike.

Stop-thrust. Ukyo realized in a blinding flash what Shiori's

strategy was. Her opponent was running out the clock, playing for

time and attempting to wear Ukyo down. It was a good plan - her

battle spatula was far heavier than the rapier Shiori used. All

other things being equal, if she could keep the duel going long

enough, Ukyo would eventually get fatigued before Shiori did and

then the advantage would be Shiori's.

     All other things were not equal, though. Ukyo had the Power

of Dios on her side. Summoning her dwindling energies, she

disengaged with a backward leap and raised her face to the castle

she always saw suspended in the sky above the Dueling Arena. She

closed her eyes, raised her spatula, and charged with a scream

straight for Shiori.

     Terror gripped Shiori's heart. Ukyo seemed to be glowing with

an impossible light, and the spatula burned white-hot in her gaze.

Frozen with fear, she could only stand helplessly as the great

glowing blade sliced unerringly through the rose on her chest,

scattering the petals everywhere as if the rose had exploded.

The moment passed, and she fell to her knees, gasping for breath.

She slumped forward and rolled over, utterly exhausted. There was

a castle hanging inverted in the sky, Shiori thought. How strange.

     Out of the corner of her eye she saw Ukyo approaching. "Are

you all right, Takatsuki-san?" her opponent asked, her voice full

of concern.

     "Fine," Shiori answered curtly. She sat up and looked at Ukyo.

"Just fine." She stood up and walked away. Saionji was waiting by

the stairway for her.

     "You did well," he said.

     "I lost," Shiori replied flatly. "Without the magic, I could have

beaten her. How are you supposed to defeat that?"

     "I don't know," Saionji answered her. "I presume our dear

Saitokaicho has a plan."

     "He'd better," Shiori growled. "Kuonji-san needs to be taken down

a peg or two."

 

***

 

     "Hello? No, Saitokaicho-san, she's not available at the moment.

Certainly. What message would you like to leave? Dinner at your house?

Tomorrow night? I'll certainly let her know. Yes. You're welcome,

Saitokaicho-san." Anthy hung up the phone and finished writing down

the message. Ukyo came in, her hair still done up from being in the furo.

     "Who was that, Anthy?"

     "Kiryu-sempai. He wants to know if you're free for dinner tomorrow

at his place, Ukyo-sama."

     Ukyo's eyes widened. "The Student Council President? Nanami's

brother?"

     Anthy nodded and smiled. "Yes."

     "Wow. I guess - you don't mind, do you?"

     "Of course not, Ukyo-sama. If it's what you want."

     "Well. Maybe he's going to call off the dogs and just let us be

for a while. I guess we'll see. Whatever happens, it should be

interesting - and he is kind of cute, ne?"

     Anthy smiled. "Yes, he certainly is, Ukyo-sama."

 

chapter 8 - ukyo agonistes

 

(The phone don't ring

And the sun refused to shine)

 

     They were the happiest days of my life. Fourteen beautiful days

in which I had everything I ever wanted. A handsome boyfriend, that

was all, really...all the long years of searching, of perfecting the

Art, that was just a means to an end.

     I should have known it wasn't real.

     I should have known he was just setting me up so he could knock

me down.

 

(Never thought I'd have to pay so dearly

For what was already mine...)

 

     When you're in love you don't want to listen to anyone tell you

anything about your boyfriend. Even if it's his little sister, who

knows him better than anyone. You just don't want to know. You just

want that wonderful feeling to go on forever, and you can't imagine

it'll ever change.

 

(For such a long, long time

We made mad love, shadow love,

Random love and abandoned love)

 

     I was so far gone in love I gave him the very thing I swore I'd

never give to anyone but Ranma. What a fool I was.

 

(Accidentally like a martyr

The hurt gets worse

and the heart gets harder)

 

    Every girl wants to find a prince, wants to be a princess,

and I'm no different, really. Dressing like a boy? Well, that's

really out of habit...when I came here and took the place of

Utena Tenjo, literally stepped into her shoes, it seemed

natural to wear the boys' uniform as she did, especially since

I'd always dressed as a boy in Furinkan and while I spent those

long years looking for Ranma and his bastard father. How was I

to know that not all princes are noblemen?

 

(The days slide by

Should have done, should have done, we all sigh)

 

     I can't even remember a single one of those days apart from

the others. They were all just one long, rosy sarabande of romance

and passion. The princess of the spatula swept off her feet by the

prince of the duellists. The leisurely breakfasts before class. The

lunches spent gazing into each others' eyes. The light dinners and

the nights...oh, those nights! I never wanted them to end.

 

(Never thought I'd be so lonely

After such a long time

Time out of mind)

 

     I remember the last day very well, though. I'll never forget that

day as long as I live. It was the worst day of my life, even worse than

the day Genma Saotome stole my dowry and my husband and ran off down

the road...

 

     "To-chan! Are you ready for lunch?" Ukyo ran up to her boyfriend,

her face shining with expectation.

     Toga Kiryu turned to look at her. The look on his face brought her

to a dead halt.

     "To-chan, is something wrong?"

     "My name," he said coldly, "is Toga Kiryu, Kuonji-kun. *You* may

address me as Seitokaicho-san, however."

     "Toga, what's the matter? Why are you treating me like this?"

     "Not very quick on the uptake, is she, Toga?" Shiori sneered.

     "No, apparently not," Toga sighed. "Look, Kuonji-kun, it was fun

while it lasted, but it's over."

      "Over? But you - I - we..."

      "I guess it isn't true what they say about those country girls,"

Shiori laughed. "This one, at least, seems to take sex a little too

seriously."

      "Toga-"

      "Go *away*, Kuonji-kun. We're discussing Student Council business

here, or we're trying to."

      Ukyo looked from one face to the next. Miki and Kyuichi avoided

her eyes, and Mitsuru looked confused, but Toga stared at her coldly.

Shiori looked amused. A crowd had gathered, and she could hear muttering

among the students behind her. "He dumped her...right in front of

everybody! Oh, no, how embarrassing! Poor Kuonji-sempai!

How humiliating!" Every whisper felt like a knife in her back. Pulling

together all the self-control she could muster, she walked away. This

had to be a nightmare. Any minute now, I'll wake up and To-chan will

be next to me, she thought. Surely this can't be real.

     The whispers followed her to the East Dormitory. Nobody was home,

of course, so there was nobody to see her collapse on the bed and cry

as she hadn't cried since she was a little girl. She was still crying

when Anthy came back from classes, hours later.

 

     "Any other business?" Toga asked.

     "I thought you were going to challenge her, Mr. President," Shiori

said disappointedly.

     "Not right away. I want to give her time to think about it," Toga

replied.

 

***

 

     Nabiki smiled to herself. It had been pretty hard to get new pics

of onna-Ranma since he and Keiko had become engaged. This was the first

chance she'd had to sneak in and get some "wet shots" of Ranma in several

weeks, but she'd managed to get Keiko to run an errand for her and

figured she'd better strike while the coast was clear. She began to open

the door-

     "Not so fast, oneechan." Keiko spoke in a low tone of voice,

pregnant with menace.

     Nabiki turned slowly and saw her adopted sister standing right

behind her. Keiko was cracking her knuckles quietly and had a dark

frown on her face. "What are you doing here?" Nabiki hissed.

     "Keeping an eye on you," Keiko answered. "Shut that door. I don't

want you waking Ranma up."

     Nabiki closed the door quietly and turned back to face Keiko. "I

thought I asked you to run down and pick up some stuff at the store

for me."

     "You did. I had Aiko do it for me. You want to tell me what you're

doing with the bucket and the camera?"

     Nabiki had the rare sensation of being trapped. There weren't any

good answers in this situation, but maybe- "I was going to play a

practical joke on Ranma."

     Keiko nodded, unsmiling. "The sort of practical joke that earns you

about a thousand yen per copy?"

     Nabiki frowned. "That's none of your business."

     "So sorry, oneechan, but it is my business. Ranma is my fiancee,

and I don't like the idea of you exploiting his curse so that you can

load up on pocket money." Faster than Nabiki could react, Keiko reached

out and grabbed the camera away. Working quickly, she popped open the

film compartment, extracted the film, and pulled the film into the

light. "Oh, gee, no good pictures on this roll. Too bad." She handed

the camera back to a seething Nabiki. "Now then. I'm going to make this

pretty clear to you so we don't have to talk about this any more.

You're a smart girl. I'm not. But I promise you this: if I ever find

out you've been taking pictures of Ranma's girl form without asking him

first, I'll break your camera. Then I'll break your fingers. Understand?"

     "You wouldn't dare."

     "Try me. I'm not like Akane. She didn't care what you did to him,

from what I hear. I do. She let you pimp him out to the rest of his

fiancees-"

     "It wasn't like that!"

     "The hell it wasn't! What kind of girl does that to her fiance?

I don't know, but I'm not that kind of girl. And I'm not going to let

you use him like that any more. You find some other way to raise money,

oneechan. Ranma is off limits." She shoved the camera into Nabiki's

stomach, eliciting a surprised "oof!" from the older girl. "You being

a smart girl, we shouldn't have to have this conversation again."

     The door opened, and Ranma poked his head out. "What's going on?"

     Keiko stepped in front of him, hiding the camera from view. "Oh,

nothing. Nabiki and I were just discussing money."

     Nabiki nodded. "Yeah. Money." She turned and walked away, sliding

the camera into her pocket.

     Keiko stepped closer to Ranma. "Money is so boring. Are you all

rested up now?"

     Ranma smiled and embraced her. "Well, I was having a good nap

until you two woke me up."

     Keiko kissed him. "I know magic. I can make you go back to sleep!"

she giggled.

     Ranma smiled back at her. "Want to come in and see how well that

magic works?"

     Keiko kissed him again. "What a silly question!" She hooked a foot

Behind his leg and tripped him. They fell together onto the futon, and

Keiko kicked the door closed.

 

***

 

     Nanami lowered the epee and looked at Ukyo disappointedly. "You're

not concentrating, Kuonji-sempai. My brother will kill you if you fight

this poorly, don't you understand?"

     Ukyo mumbled something inaudible.

     "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said."

     "He should have just done it right away and gotten it over with."

     Nanami's jaw dropped. She looked at the forlorn girl and closed

her mouth. Presently, she sheathed her epee and walked back into the

dormitory. In the window, Juri turned away, shaking her head.

 

***

 

     Happosai awoke to find himself completely trussed up and upside down.

That was bad enough. What made it as bad as it could possibly be was the

voice that woke him. "Good morning, Happy," it said in fluent Japanese.

"I've been waiting a long, long time for this."

     "Cologne-chan?"

     The question was answered by a vicious blow to a pressure point on

his neck that filled every nerve with the sensation of scorching flame.

He closed his eyes, mustering just enough control to keep from screaming.

     "Don't call me that ever again, Happy. Now, I have a question to

ask. Are you going to tell us everything we want to know now, or do I

get a rare opportunity to instruct my granddaughter in some of the more

exotic Amazon interrogation techniques?"

     Without thinking (or perhaps because he was distracted by the

close proximity of Shampoo's breasts - we'll never know now) he

replied, "Uh - what? I haven't done anything!"

     "Oooo, very good!" Shampoo clapped her hands with joy. "Shampoo

always want to learn extra special Amazon technique of toenail

extraction!"

      The screaming began shortly thereafter, and continued for many

hours.

 

***

 

    "Anthy, what am I going to do? He won't look at me, he won't talk

to me..."

    "I don't know, Ukyo-sama. I'm here for you, though."

    "Oh, Anthy..."

 

***

 

     "Kodachi-sama, I'm worried about Kuonji-sempai," Nanami said over

dinner. She, Juri, Kodachi and Akane were the only ones there; Ukyo

hadn't come out of her room since returning from class, and neither

had Anthy.

     "As am I," Juri agreed. "She looks like a lost soul."

     "More importantly, her practices have been going very badly.

I'm beating her easily, mainly because she isn't concentrating.

It's like she's not really there."

     "I don't suppose she is, really," Akane offered. "I don't think

she's been hurt this badly since Ranma and his father left her behind

as a child. She certainly didn't act like this when she found out

Ranma and I were already engaged to each other."

     "I don't think she took you very seriously," Kodachi replied,

"but that's beside the point."

     "More to the point, if she's like this now, what's she going

to be like when she loses?" Juri said.

     "You mean 'if', right?" Akane looked skeptical.

     "I said 'when' and I meant 'when"." Juri's voice was flat and

hard. "She's in no shape to fight Kiryu-san and win right now. She

can't even hold her own with Nanami-chan here, who isn't half as

good as her brother. Her concentration simply doesn't exist. After

she comes back from the duelling ground and finds Himemiya-san gone,

we'd better hide all the sharp objects around here until she calms

down."

     "Finds Himemiya gone? Why wouldn't Anthy be here?" Akane

stared at Juri in confusion.

     "She is the Rose Bride, the one with the power to bring the

revolution," Nanami said quietly. "When onii-sama wins the duel,

she will become his Bride and do whatever he requires. That's the

way she is."

     Akane shook her head. "That's just...weird! Why would she

do that?"

     Nanami sighed. "I've thought about this for a long time.

At first I thought she was just mental or something, but the

longer I watch her the more I think there's nothing there, you

know? It's as if in exchange for her magic she's sacrificed

whatever personality she once had, and now just reflects the

desires of the one she's attached to."

     "Like a tulpa," Juri interjected.

     "A what?" Akane asked.

     "A spirit being that has no existence aside from the wants

and desires people project onto it."

     "That's a lie."

     They all turned to see Ukyo in the doorway. Her eyes were

red-rimmed and bloodshot, and she leaned against the door frame

with a look of utter weariness on her face. Kodachi half-rose

from her seat. "Kuonji-san..."

     "That's a damn lie, Arisugawa-sempai. Anthy Himemiya is a

real flesh and blood girl, just like you or me, with real

feelings. Maybe you want her to be some sort of magical spirit

being, but she's just a girl like the rest of us. So spare me

your sympathy, okay? You can keep your wacky theories to

yourself. Anthy loves me, and even if I do lose, she's going to

be right here."

     Juri stared at her for a moment, then shrugged and went

back to eating. Kodachi stood up and took a step toward Ukyo.

"Ukyo, what if..."

     "Forget it. I don't need help from people who talk about

me and my girlfriend behind our backs." She turned and went

back to her room, and a minute later the girls all heard the

slam of her door.

     There was an awkward silence. After a minute, Akane spoke

up. "Well, that could have gone better," she commented mordantly.

 

***

 

     The day everyone in the East Dormitory had been dreading

finally came. As with all the other duels, the note from End

of the World was waiting for me when I returned from class.

I dropped my book bag heavily and stared at the note, not touching

it where it lay on the table. Anthy looked at me silently, as she

had all day...I hadn't said much to her either, really. It seemed

like so much effort to do the simplest things, that day. "Well,"

I said, "no point in putting it off. Let's go." Together, we

walked out of the room, out of the dormitory, and began the long

walk to the Dueling Arena.

     I arrived and found Toga and Kyouichi Saionji waiting, along

with Anthy in her Rose Bride dress. That was unusual, but it

didn't really bother me. I just wanted to get this over with. Toga

was laughing at me, teasing me, but I couldn't seem to understand

what he was saying. It was so hard to think, to function at all...it

would be so good to finish the duel and get back to normal.

Somehow I thought that after Toga defeated me, things would be as

they were before. I don't know why.

     I drew the Spatula of Dios from Anthy, but it seemed heavier

than worlds, heavier than it ever had before. So hard to move it,

to summon the energy to block Toga's thrusts and slashes. I could

feel his blade slicing my uniform and my flesh, feel the blood

oozing from the cuts. He was yelling at me, taunting me, playing

with me like a cat plays with a mouse, slashing my uniform  to

ribbons. I think it angered him that I was so passive. I don't

remember even once trying to strike back. Then again my memories

of the duel are so disjointed,...it was like a nightmare that

happened to someone else until I feel the scars he left on my

face and my body.

     I only remember two things during the duel with any clarity.

Once I saw Anthy's face, and thinking that it was so odd for her

glasses to have become mirrors reflecting the empty gray sky,

bright shiny frightening mirrors showing nothing at all. Once,

I saw Saionji grab Toga's arm, trying to stop him. "No!" he

shouted. "You're going too far! Cut her rose and have done with

it, Toga!" Toga just laughed and pushed him away, and with his

next swing of the sword slashed my hair off. My beautiful ponytail

fell lifeless to the ground, and all I could do was try weakly to

raise my spatula and try to keep him from slashing the rose from

my chest.

     I failed, of course. After many, many eternities of pain

and darkness he finally tired of playing with me. Toga stabbed

down with his blade, and it was finally over. I lay there curled

up around those petals for what seemed like years before I

finally got up. Saionji had tried to help me up, but I didn't

want his help. I just wanted to lay there and die. I remembered

the last thing Toga had said, leaving with Anthy on his arm.

"Do I remind you of your prince, Ukyo? Your Ranma Saotome?"

He laughed and walked away, and inside my head I said Yes.

Yes, you do.

     A long time later I got up. My body was tired, as if I could

sleep for a week, but I couldn't make my mind shut up and leave

me alone. It kept showing me all the images I wanted to forget.

Ranma and Akane. Me and Toga. Ranma and Shampoo. Me and Anthy.

Over and over again until I wanted to scream, but I couldn't seem

to find my voice until I found myself at the Academy kitchens.

I'd spent some time getting to know the cooks, and they liked me

better than the other kids, who treated them like part of the

furniture. Third Cook Fuchida was there when I showed up, ragged

and bloody and with half my hair hacked off. He gasped in horror

when he saw me. "Kuonji-kun! What happened to you?"

     "I ran into a door," I mumbled. "Got any sake? I can pay you."

     "H-hai, Kuonji-kun, but...don't you think you ought to see the

nurse?"

     "I'll be all right, Fuchida-san. Thank you." I waited, leaning

against the door frame and trying not to smear blood on it, until

he came back with a large jug of cooking sake. "Thank you,

Fuchida-san. I'll pay you back tomorrow." I walked back to the East

Dorm, knowing that Anthy would be there.

     She was finishing her packing when I arrived. "Anthy, what

are you doing?" I whispered.

     She smiled vacantly at me. "I am engaged to Toga-sama now,

Kuonji-san. He has instructed me to take up residence with him

tonight."

     "But you- I..."

     "See you around, Kuonji-san. Take care." She bowed and left.

I stared after her as she disappeared down the hall and kept

staring into empty space until I heard the downstairs door slam.

After a while I went back into my room, shut the door, and began

to drink.

 

***

Note: The song at the beginning of the fic is "Accidentally Like A Martyr",

by Warren Zevon.

 

chapter 9 - back for the attack

 

     "She hasn't come out of her room for days," Akane said worriedly,

looking at the closed door of Ukyo's room.

     "The teachers have started asking questions," Kodachi agreed.

"Time to go in after her. She's been sulking long enough."

     Akane shot her a surprised look, but Kodachi's impassive face

revealed nothing of what she was thinking.

     Juri and Nanami came up to them. "What's going on?" Juri asked.

     "We're digging Kuonji-san out of her hole," Kodachi replied

tonelessly.

     Juri shrugged, and walked up to the door. She took hold of

the knob, listened for a second, and recoiled in disgust. "Kami-sama!

What is that noise? It's worse than enka music!"

     Akane walked up to the door and listened carefully. She could

hear some sort of guitar-heavy music playing, and Ukyo was singing

along in spite of the fact that the singer was singing in English.

     "...outside, looking in/She said 'Well now where you been?/Didn't

expect you back again/Trying to get out of the wind/are you now?'"

     Akane shrugged. It was no worse than some of the music you heard

around Nerima. She knocked on the door. "Ukyo! Can we come in?"

     There was no answer. Whatever song Ukyo had been singing had

ended and had been replaced by a vaguely menacing tune that sounded

as if a lone guitar was being played across endless miles of

emptiness. Akane turned the knob and opened the door.

 

     Ukyo was seated at the room's only table, singing along with the

CD player. Her eyes were thoroughly bloodshot, and she was still

wearing the shredded rags of her duellist's uniform. The blood from

the cuts Toga had inflicted on her had been left to dry on her body,

and her ragged hair was untrimmed. There was a bottle of cooking sake

and a cup on the table, and nothing else. She broke off singing and

looked at the girls as they reluctantly  entered her room. "Well, if

it isn't the kawaiikune tomboy and the psycho. And their playmates.

Pull up a rock, there's still enough here for you guys."

She wiggled the sake bottle.

     "You're drunk," Akane said disgustedly.

     "Yup," Ukyo agreed cheerfully. "Drunk, disorderly, dispirited,

disenchanted, disgusted. Disenrolled, too, I bet. Kiryu-san, you going

to shut the door?"

     Nanami had been distracted enough by Ukyo's condition that she

had forgotten to close the door behind her. She did so, and looked

at Kodachi with a look of total confusion in her eyes. It was

obvious she had no idea how to deal with a drunken martial artist.

     "Are you branching out into drunken-style spatula-fu now,

Kuonji-san?" Kodachi asked.

     "Heh. Funny. No, just trying to drown my sorrows. You know what

 Kuno-san?"

     "What?"

     "They swim *real* well. I don't think there's enough sake in

this whole miserable  campus to drown the bastards." Her face

suddenly turned bleak. "So what are you here for if you're not

going to drink with me?"

     "Your teachers are concerned, Kuonji-san," Juri said

carefully. "You've been absent from classes for three days now.

We've been covering for you, telling them you're ill."

     "Nice of you, Arisugawa-sempai. And it's not even lying.

I am sick. Sick of these duels, sick of this school, sick of

twisted creeps like Toga and two-faced bitches like Himemiya.

If I knew how to go home, I would." Ukyo knocked back another

shot of sake and refilled her cup.

     Kodachi's eyes narrowed. "I think you've had enough to drink."

     Ukyo glared back at her. "Who died and made you Empress?"

     "Obviously nobody, or we wouldn't be having this conversation.

However, as a fellow martial artist and one of the few friends you

have left on this campus, I suggest you quit wallowing in drunken

self-pity and start working on the only thing that should be on

your mind right now."

     "What makes you think you have any business telling me how

to run my life?"

     "What makes you think you have any ability to do it yourself?

Look at you! You get dumped by your boyfriend, who you should never

have taken up with in the first place since he belongs to a rival

school, and then you get dumped by your girlfriend, who you knew was

going to ditch you if you lost anyway. You showed about as much

discipline as a two-year-old. It's a wonder that young snot

Tsuwabuki didn't beat you senseless. Now look at you - a drunken,

pathetic loser. You're right. I'm wasting my time even talking to

you. Nanami, let's go. Arisugawa-san, Tendo-san, my apologies for

dragging you into this. I thought we had a martial artist here,

but evidently I was mistaken." She started for the door, but

stopped  halfway and turned to deliver a parting shot. "Just

imagine how proud Ranma-sama would be if he could see you now,"

she sneered.

    "DAMN YOU!" Ukyo was up from the table in a flash, lunging

at Kodachi's scornfully-turned back, but the sleepless nights

and the sake had taken their toll. She stumbled, and Kodachi

spun quickly to meet her with an open-handed slap that knocked

Ukyo into a heap on the floor. Ukyo curled up into a tight ball

and began to cry.

     Kodachi looked at the crying girl. "Nanami. Help me get

Kuonji-san into the showers."

     "Yes, Mistress Kuno."

     The two of them hoisted Ukyo to her feet and dragged her

to the shower. Kodachi turned the cold water on full blast,

nodded to Nanami, and then they heaved the still-sobbing girl

under the stream of icy water.

     "AAAAAAA!" Ukyo screamed as she began to thrash and

struggle to get free. "YOU BITCHES! LET GO OF ME!"

     Nanami and Kodachi moved to put Ukyo in a hammerlock and

held her under the shower until she stopped struggling. After

a few more minutes of this Ukyo said dully, "Okay, I promise

not to maim either one of you if you let go. Just bring me a

towel and some soap, will you?"

     Kodachi nodded to Nanami, who was only too happy to let

go. Ukyo stood listlessly under the shower, moving only to

turn the hot water on and start stripping off the remains of

her uniform. Kodachi likewise removed her now-sodden clothes

and put her hair up. Presently Nanami returned with towels

and soap and likewise disrobed. The three washed up quietly,

until Kodachi offered to scrub Ukyo's back. "What?" Ukyo asked,

clearly surprised.

     "I said, 'Would you like me to do your back?'"

     "Um, sure. Thank you."

     Eventually they all wound up in the furo, soaking in the

hot water. After a while Ukyo asked, "Kuno-san, why are you

doing this?"

     "Hai...well, this is what friends do, ne?"

     Ukyo gave a harsh, barking laugh. "I can't think of anyone

in Nerima that would have used that word to refer to us, Kuno-san."

     "Ah, but we are no longer in Nerima, Kuonji-san. Whether

we like it or not, you and I and Tendo-san are considered to be

friends by our classmates here at Ohtori Academy. In fact, we do

get along fairly well, since the main reason we're at each

others' throats is Ranma Saotome - and he's not here."

     "True...for that matter, you're a lot more stable than I've

ever seen you before. No paralysis powder in the roses or the food,

no ambushing your opponents - this just isn't like you. All right,

who are you and what have you done with the real Kodachi Kuno?"

Ukyo tried to look fierce for a moment, but the effort gave her

a splitting headache. "Ow..."

     Kodachi giggled. "Oh, I'm better than I was, but I'm sure

a competent psychiatrist  could still find enough bats in my

belfry, ne, Nanami-chan?" The blonde blushed and sank lower in

the water. "Seriously, though, getting out of Nerima and away

from Ranma, my family and all the familiar surroundings has

helped me immensely. Tendo-san and I had a long conversation

about this, as a matter of fact, even though it started out

as a discussion of your involvement with Himemiya-san."

     "WHAT?"

     "Relax, Kuonji-san. For someone her age, Tendo-san is

rather naive when it comes to matters of the bedroom, and

I believe I distracted her sufficiently in any case. We did

not discuss whatever it was you two may or may not have been

doing, at least not beyond the point at which Tendo-san

delivered a rather bigoted opinion on the subject. Honestly,

when she and Ranma get married, I hope someone has the

foresight to give them a pillow book, otherwise Tendo-sensei

may be cruelly disappointed in his wish for an heir."

     Despite herself, Ukyo had to laugh. Given Akane's

distaste for boys in general, and Ranma's endearing naivete

when it came to girls, it was easy to imagine the two of them

fumbling around haplessly on their wedding night. "Something

to think about if we ever get out of here and back to Nerima."

She closed her eyes and let the heat soak her tension away.

This was as relaxed as she'd been in months, since the end

of the first duel and the beginning of her affair with the

Rose Bride. What a fiasco that was..."What kind of girl is

this Anthy Himemiya, Kiryu-san? Why is she so...flighty, so

submissive?"

 

***

 

     Toga Kiryu relaxed in the bedroom of the Kiryu house.

Shiori was in the kitchen making snacks (he knew better than

to have Anthy fix anything more complicated than shaved ice,

and she was off visiting her brother anyway) and he felt at

peace with the world for the first time since this whole

business with Ukyo Kuonji had started.

     The domestic tranquility was suddenly disturbed by a

loud crash, Shiori shouting at someone, then another crash.

This doesn't sound good, Toga thought, and rose from the bed.

He threw on a bathrobe and stepped out into the hallway just

in time to see a nearly-naked Shiori come flying out of the

kitchen hallway and hit the wall with an audible thud. She

slid to the floor, tried to get up, and slid back again.

     "Apologies for the mess, Seitokacho-san," a familiar

voice said.

     "Kuonji-san, what is the meaning of this?"

     Ukyo stepped out of the kitchen hallway. "Kaoru-san said

you'd be home this evening,  and when I expressed a desire to

speak with you personally, your slut here got in the way. There's

a bit of a mess in the living room, I'm afraid. Takatsuki-kun

forgot that I don't need a weapon to be dangerous."

     "If you think this is how you can reclaim a place in my heart-"

     Ukyo laughed bitterly. "I'd rather sleep with a rabid pack

of diseased weasels, thank you. No, I just came to deliver a

message." She stepped forward and before he could react slapped

him hard on both cheeks. "I'll see you on the dueling ground,

Seitokacho-san. Whenever you and your puppeteer are ready for me."

     "You have no right-"

     Ukyo held up a fist, with the Rose Signet prominently displayed.

"This says I do. The martial arts code of honor says I do. Scared of

a return engagement, Seitokacho-san?"

     "All right. Friday night, one week from today."

     Ukyo nodded. "End of the World had better improve his

string-pulling skills. You're going to need all the help you

can get." She turned on her heel and left.

 

***

 

     "Kuonji-san?"

     Ukyo stopped and turned as she was about to leave the dormitory.

Juri stood with her hands behind her back and a most peculiar

expression on her face. "What is it, Arisugawa-sempai?"

     "Ano...some of us felt it inappropriate for you to challenge

the Seitokacho while wearing the girls' uniform."

     "So? I'm not wearing the Duellist uniform again. Ever."

     "I understand completely. We thought - well, I thought,

anyway...you might prefer to fight in your usual combat dress,

especially since you intend to demonstrate the full range of

your skills to Kiryu-san." Juri brought her hands from behind

her back and presented a package wrapped in plain paper to the

bemused chef-turned-duellist. "Also, I understand that it happens

to be your birthday, and we  - Nanami and I - hoped you might

accept this poor excuse for a present." Unusually for her, Juri

kept her eyes fixed on the ground.

     Ukyo took the package and carefully unwrapped it. Her eyes

widened as she finished. "Arisugawa-sempai...you shouldn't have!

This is marvelous!" Juri and Nanami had reproduced her chef's

costume in a beautiful shade of blue with white trim, and

included a pair of black tights as well. Ukyo looked more

closely at the trim along the front of the blouse. Someone had

painstakingly embroidered little spatulas into it, and each

spatula was entwined with a black rose. Ukyo smiled, and

embraced the surprised Juri in a strong hug. "Thank you so

much. I haven't had a birthday present in years, and certainly

not one I appreciated this much. I guess I better change now,

ne?" She strode off to her room, whistling "True Colors" as

she went.

     When she emerged, she was surprised to see that the other

girls were all waiting for her. Surprisingly, Juri and Nanami

were both wearing their Duellist uniforms, although the dominant

color was now black instead of their former white and yellow.

Kodachi and Akane likewise were dressed for battle, in their

leotard and gi respectively.

     "Thank you for the show of support, but this is a duel,

not a rumble," she chided them.

     "You can't be too careful with these people," Akane growled.

     "Tendo-san is right," Kodachi agreed. "These Student Council

members are arrogant, spiteful and in some cases clearly deranged.

It would be best to be ready should some unpleasantness occur."

 

***

 

     "I understand that Gosunkugi thinks he may have figured out

a way to get us to Ohtori," Tatewaki Kuno said to Ranma as they

sat eating lunch.

     "Yes. We're supposed to meet and discuss their progress

tonight at the Nekohanten," Ranma answered as he dodged Keiko's

attempt to stuff a tuna roll into his mouth.

     "You realize that this presents you with a problem, Saotome."

     "Oh? What do you mean?"

     "How will my sister, Akane, and Ukyo react to the fact that

you have a new fiancee?"

     "(...)"

 

***

 

I'm breathing (YEAH!)

I'm bleeding  (YEAH!)

I'm screaming

Scum of the earth, come on!

 

     Toga Kiryu noted the changes in his opponent since the last

duel. Then, Ukyo Kuonji had been a broken little girl, just

waiting for the coup de grace to put her out of her misery. Now,

the coldness in her eyes matched his own. There was nothing about

her that made you think of feminine weakness at all, and he began

to wonder if it hadn't been a mistake to break her before the

first duel. Bones became stronger at the break, after all, and

sometimes people did too. Well, it doesn't matter, he thought.

I'm still a good enough swordsman to defeat her - and now I have

the Sword of Dios.

     Ukyo watched Toga dispassionately. She felt none of the fury

she'd felt in her first duel against Saionji, but she didn't feel

even the mild annoyance she'd felt while dueling Miki and the

others. She certainly didn't feel the sense of impending doom she'd

felt the last time she'd dueled Toga. Anthy came and pinned the rose

to her chest. Unusually, it was a black rose instead of her normal

red rose, but Ukyo wasted no time pondering the variation in the

color. It simply wasn't important. Neither was the presence of the

Student Council and her friends at the top of the stairs. Nothing

mattered but the duel.

     She watched as Toga lay the Rose Bride back and drew the Sword

of Dios from her chest, paying no attention to the chant. Now, she

thought, he'll see how this cookie crumbles.

    Toga saluted her, and asked her something, but whatever it was,

it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the duel. She ignored him and

drew her battle spatula. Toga smiled and charged her.

    Ukyo shifted the battle spatula to her left hand, drew three of

her mini-spatulas, and let fly. They flew straight and true, hitting

Toga's leading leg with the sickening *thunk* of cleavers hitting a

side of beef. Her opponent fell like a puppet whose strings had been

severed as the leg gave way, barely managing to avoid landing on his

face.

 

     "She can't do that!" Shiori cried, and started to lunge forward.

     Saionji caught her arm. "Don't," he said, jerking his head to

indicate the East Dormitory girls.

     Shiori looked, and saw Juri's flat stare fixed on her. Juri's

hand rested lightly on the hilt of her sword, and Shiori knew exactly

what Juri was thinking. "Please," that look said, "give me an excuse

to draw this.". Angrily, Shiori jerked her arm out of Saionji's grasp

and crossed her arms.

 

     Ukyo walked over to her wounded opponent, flicked the Sword

of Dios out of his reach with her battle spatula, and sat down

cross-legged next to Toga's head. She reached out to the white

rose on his jacket and began to peel the petals, one by one.

"You know," she said conversationally, "it would be immensely

gratifying to beat the stuffing out of you as I did Saionji.

More so, really, because I didn't realize at the time exactly

what the deal was with Himemiya-san, and I do now. Which is why

this duel is not going to end in the usual way. See, this duel

isn't really about the Rose Bride. You may think it is, but that

would be just one of a number of mistakes you've made, Toga-chan.

     "I have absolutely no interest in the Rose Bride. So, when

I'm done with this rose, I'm going to stand up and walk away. As

far as I'm concerned, I've already won this duel. I have my honor

back. You and your pals can go ahead and revolutionize the world,

screw each other senseless, whatever you want to do, but you can

leave me and my friends out of it.

     "I've had a lot of time to think about this, you see. I

thought about humiliating you the way you did me, but that would

require you to have some sense of shame - and I'm not sure you

have any. So I won't waste any effort cutting your uniform to

shreds, slicing up your face, or even shaving your head. It would

be a waste of my time. The same goes for breaking every last bone

in your body. As much as I despise you, it's just not worth the

time and effort." She regarded the stripped blossom for a moment,

then took her own black rose off and tossed it onto Toga's jacket

"Ja ne, Seitokaicho-san."

 

     Ukyo stood up and began walking back to the staircase, where

her friends waited. Behind her, Anthy was calling out to her, but

Ukyo ignored her and kept walking. There was the sound of running

feet, and Ukyo felt a hand on her shoulder.

     "Ukyo-sama..." Anthy began breathlessly.

     "Don't call me that ever again," Ukyo interrupted harshly.

"I don't want anything more to do with you from now until the day

I leave this school. Do you understand, Himemiya-san?"

     "But-"

     "Do you understand?"

     "No."

     Ukyo turned and stared at the Rose Bride, who smiled in

confusion. "Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not want to

talk to you, see you, be around you, or hear from you from now

until I leave Ohtori Academy. My participation in the duels

ends now. If I or any of my friends see you in the East Dormitory,

we will throw you out. If I find any of your things in my room,

I will throw them out. Do you understand?"

     "No."

     "I guess it can't be helped, then." Ukyo started down the

stairs, and her friends filed down behind her. Anthy Himemiya

stood watching them, the smile on her face slowly changing into

a puzzled frown. Behind her, Saionji and Shiori helped Toga to

his feet. On the floor of the arena, Toga's cell phone lay where

it had fallen from his jacket. As it began to ring, Saionji kicked

it, and it spun out into the void, still ringing as it fell the

endless distance into the forest.

     Unnoticed, the black and white roses fluttered to the floor

of the arena.

 

***

 

    "So it looks like our best options are to either give Ryoga

here a true sense of direction for once or somehow find the path

between the worlds to wherever Ohtori actually is," Amy said after

reviewing the scrolls that Cologne had brought and the transcript

of Shampoo's interrogation of Happosai.

     "Since even my powers added to yours would be insufficient

to reverse all of the spells and curses involved, yes," Cologne

replied.

     "Kami-sama..." Hikaru inhaled sharply as he read the transcript.

"You pulled out his toenails?"

     "Shampoo tell old pervert is last chance for whole truth and

nothing but truth, but he keep on lying. Have to make good on threat

then or lose face." Shampoo slurped her tea and regarded the magician

with bland equanimity. Gosunkugi shuddered.

     "I think finding the path between the dimensions would be

easiest," Cologne said. "Assembling the materials would be much

less difficult than trying to counteract the curse of the Hibikis."

     "I think you're right," Amy said. "What do you think, Hikaru?"

     Gosunkugi put down the transcript with difficulty. "Yes. If we

can make our way to Ohtori we'll be at the nexus of all the magical

energies, and if we need to perform any spells it'll be easier to do

them there. Presuming, of course, that whoever cast the spell isn't

in a position to disturb us."

     "I don't think that'll be a problem," Cologne said. "Shiro?

Come in here and tell our guests about your uncle."

 

***

 

     "So, oto-san, what are we supposed to do about these

engagements?" Ranma asked the next morning at breakfast.

     Soun Tendo looked at him. "What do you mean? You're

engaged to Keiko now. The engagement to Kuonji-san was never

valid, and as for Akane..." His eyes widened as he suddenly

considered the possibility that his daughter by blood might

actually object to the situation. He turned to Genma.

"Saotome-kun..."

     Genma smiled. "I have no experience with daughters,

Tendo-kun. I'm sure you'll think of something appropriate

when the time comes. It's not as if she ever liked Ranma

all that much anyway, is it?"

     Soun smiled back, his good humor restored. "You're right,

Saotome-kun. I doubt she'll have any problem at all."

     Nabiki set down her chopsticks and stood up. "You two are

the biggest idiots  I have ever met in my life." She turned on

her heel and left the dining room. After a few minutes, they

all heard the door to her room slam shut.

     Kasumi looked around the table. Everyone was sitting and

staring after her younger sister except for Ranma and Keiko,

who were feeding each other pickled vegetables. "Oto-san, I

think you may be mistaken about Akane's attitude. I'll speak

with Nabiki."

     Soun closed his gaping mouth and nodded. "Thank you,

Kasumi-chan."

 

 

***

The songs Ukyo is listening to at the beginning of the chapter are

"Outskirts" and "Too Long In The Wasteland" by James McMurtry; the

verse at the beginning of the last duel is from Rob Zombie's "Scum

of the Earth".

 

***

 

chapter ten

 

climaxes of the non-sexual variety

 

Utena and her sensei arrive at Ohtori ready to kick butt and

chew gum, and their supply of Juicy Fruit ran out at the

airport...

 

     "In the name of Oda Nobunaga, open these gates!" Tomokato

Miaowara roared. His eyes blazed, and his armor had been

polished to such brilliance that it hurt one's eyes to look

at it, even though it was a mostly cloudy day with a 90%

chance of rain. Utena adjusted her Ray-Bans slightly, and

maintained a state of alertness. There was no telling what

traps the Chairman had yet to spring; she and her sensei

had barely fought off the small army of ninjas at the baggage

claim, and that only with the help of some demented fellow

armed with nothing but a loaf of French bread.

     "Who the hell is it now?" Groundskeeper #1 demanded,

pushing his gimme cap back on his head and glaring in the

general direction of the gate. "Is it that Hibiki kid

again?"

     "No," Groundskeeper #2 replied, "he came by five

chapters ago, and didn't bother with the gate. This looks

like an enormous scarred tabby cat in samurai armor, and

some gal in Ray-Bans wearing a guy's uniform."

     "Oh, crap! What are we gonna do now?’’

     ‘’Call the Chairman and tell him that damn samurai made

it past the ninjas, and fire up the giant robots in Shed #2!"

     "You think those'll stop him?"

     "Are you nuts? They might slow him down enough so we

can get out, if we're lucky!"

 

      Ukyo and her friends watched the advance of the cat

and his student against the remorseless waves of giant

robots. It was a study in swordsmanship that left them

all terribly conscious of just how much they had to learn

about the martial arts. Together, the cat and the girl

weaved a sinuous path of destruction through the robots,

scattering metal limbs and heads to either side and cleaving

almost effortlessly through torsos constructed of the finest

Mundanium(TM) until the robots' morale broke and they fled

the field. Finally there was nothing but the cat, the girl,

and a large pile of spitting, crackling scrap. The cat

raised his sword and pointed it directly at Ukyo, who stood

gamely confronting him with her battle spatula at the ready.

"I am Tomokato Miaowara, hatamoto to Lord Oda Nobunaga!

I am here to exact vengeance on Akio Ohtori for his part

in the death of my master."

     Akane blinked. "You do realize the Nobunaga line has

been extinct since before the Restoration, don't you?"

     "What is this, Trivial Pursuit?" the cat snarled

irritably. "Look, either tell me where the treacherous

swine is hiding or start fighting. This late in the day

I don't care which."

     Ukyo grounded her spatula and jerked her head toward

the Administrative Tower. "Me, fight for him?" She spat to

one side. "He's probably in his office boffing one of the

juniors." She cast an appraising eye over Utena. "Utena

Tenjo, huh? Come on over to the East Dorm once you're done

with the Chairman. We've got some things to talk about."

 

     The outer office was empty when they arrived, and

they could hear Akio on the phone. "I don't care what they

did to the robots, you owe me, Toga! Get up here with your

Student Council pals and bail me out of this!" He hung up

the phone and suddenly saw the shadows in the outer office.

"Damn!" he swore, and hit the door-close button, but the cat

was faster - and Utena not much slower than the cat. They

both slithered through the impossibly-narrow opening.

      "Akio Ohtori," Miaowara intoned, "your doom is upon

you. Will you face your death honorably as a member of the

samurai class, or shall we just cut you down where you stand?"

     The Chairman sighed. "I know better than to try and run,"

he answered, waving at the extensive collection of Mark Rogers

first editions on the shelf behind him. "Permit me a moment

alone with my thoughts, that I might compose a suitable death

poem."

     The cat nodded, and withdrew into the outer office,

closing the door behind him.

     "Sensei, I-" Utena began, but was silenced by the waving

of a scarred paw. True to her fears, she heard the office

windows open, and charged through the door. She was too

late - through the window she saw the diving body of the

Chairman performing a triple twist and swan dive off the

awning, bounce once off the trampoline being carried past

by the Ohtori Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Team (5-0 so

far this season under their new captain, Kodachi Kuno) and

hit the ground running at full speed for the school garage.

     On the desk lay a simple haiku:

 

     Samurai honor

     in an age of steel and glass?

     You stupid suckers!

 

     Utena didn't hesitate. Using a variation on the cat's

famous "Embarrass The Goyim Utterly" move, she followed the

Chairman out the window, kicking off the sill for the extra

velocity she needed to hit the trampoline right behind him.

Performing a picture-perfect parachute landing fall on the

grass, she came erect with her katana drawn and held rigidly

mere millimeters from Akio's nose. "Going somewhere, Ohtori-

san? I believe you had an urgent appointment with my master."

     Akio wasted no time on words. Jumping backwards, he drew

his sword and began fighting. It quickly became obvious to

the onlookers that he was fighting far out of his class. After

the first minute of flashy bladework, Utena unfolded a lawn

chair and relaxed, catching up on the last few months' worth

of Cosmo Girl while devoting a minimum of attention to the

embattled Chairman. Several minutes passed, and the crowd

became restless.

     "Come on, Tenjo-san, finish him off!" cried Miki, who

was doing his best to hold back a sizable mob of his

classmates, who were holding pitchforks, torches, and

placards reading (among other things) "UTENA TENJO RULES OK"

and "EAT AT JOE'S". The rest of the Student Council looked

on, obviously unenthusiastic about their chances should they

attempt to bum-rush the extremely accomplished swordswoman

who was playing their master like a ten-pound trout.

 

     Utena sighed, dog-eared an article on "What 69% of

Japanese High-School Boys Really Want On Their First Date",

and folded up the lawn chair, all while keeping the

empurpled Chairman at sword's length. "I suppose I should,

Miki, but it's not my place, I'm afraid."

     Miaowara-sensei finally strode up, battle aura glowing

blue and several veins popping visibly beneath the fur of

his head. Utena raised her katana in salute and disengaged

easily, leaving the cat to finish off his last victim.

     Akio glared at the cat, breathing hard and pouring

sweat. "You know he had it coming, Miaowara."

     "I know no such thing. Even if he had, it has no

relevance to *your* fate. Why, your conduct today alone

makes you deserving of death." With that, he performed a

perfect iaijutsu strike, cutting Akio Ohtori neatly in

half and returning his blade to its scabbard in one smooth

motion, not even broken as he wiped the blade with his silk

handkerchief before slamming it home.

     "Oooooo," the onlooking students marveled, awestruck

by the incredible technique. The cat coughed modestly into

his paw. To one side of the grassy knoll, the judges held

up their cards: 9.9, 9.9, 9.9, 9.9, 3.0 (the French judge),

9.9.

 

[The next morning...]

 

     "What now, Miaowara-sensei?" Utena asked. The Student

Council, which now included Kodachi, Akane, Utena and Juri,

looked at the cat from their seats at the table. "Will you

be staying on here?"

     "My work here is done; I'm needed elsewhere now," the

cat began, only to be met with a chorus of hisses and groans,

as the council members were quite familiar with Western

movies, or at least "Blazing Saddles". "Heh. Always wanted

to say that." He grinned briefly. "No, the Ministry of

Education is sending over a fellow they think will be well-

suited to the task of getting matters under control...a

relative of yours, I believe, Miss Kuno?"

     Kodachi started. "Not..."

     "I can't read the first name, as the fax is blurred,

but apparently he's done quite a job with Furinkan High

School, and-"

     Kodachi slumped in her chair. Just when things were

going so well, she thought.

     "HELLLO, KEIKI!" roared an impossibly loud and boorish

voice, amplified by a bullhorn. Into the chambers, riding a

skateboard, rolled a man with a square face, sunglasses,

and an impossibly bronze tan. He sported a hula shirt in

hideously clashing colors, and brandished shears in both

hands. "We gonna have a biig assembly to announce da new

school rules! Haircuts for everybody!"

     Akane facefaulted, while the rest of the Student Council

stared in shock.

     Juri and Kodachi had slipped out unobserved during

Principal Kuno's grand entrance.  Kodachi pulled out her

cell phone and hit the speed dial. "Nanami. Pack our bags.

We'll be leaving shortly."

     "'We', Ko-chan?" Juri purred, arching an eyebrow.

     "We, Juri-chan," Kodachi smiled. She kissed Juri

enthusiastically (if briefly),and the two walked off down

the hallway arm in arm.

 

     At Ohtorijuku Station, the three girls waited patiently

for the 9:35 train. It showed up promptly. One of the first

people off the train was a nondescript middle-aged man with

brown hair, a briefcase, and an odd lapel pin depicting what

appeared to be a three-headed dog. Spotting Kodachi, he

called out, "Miss Kuno? A moment, please. I'm from the

Education Ministry. There's been a mistake."

     Kodachi turned to face him, motioning to her friends to

stay put. "Do I know you?"

     The man extended his card to her. "We've never met. I

 am Kazuhiro Fuse, Deputy Undersecretary for Special

Investigations at the Ministry. I've been assigned to the

Ohtori case."

     "The Ohtori case?"

     "Yes. We've received some disturbing reports about the

conduct of the Deputy Chairman and the Student Council."

     "The Deputy Chairman is dead."

     Fuse raised an eyebrow. "Really? That's not too

surprising. In any case, I'll have to ask you to return to

Ohtori with me until the investigation is finished."

     "Ah, that would be inconvenient. You see, my father - "

     "That was the mistake I was referring to. He hasn't

finished his term at Furinkan yet, and will be returning

there today."

     A groan issued from one of the people standing behind

Undersecretary Fuse. Looking to see who was responsible

for the noise, Kodachi saw some familiar faces. "Ah,

Saotome-san. So glad to see you finally found your way

here. I see you brought your father, my brother, and

Tendo-sensei, but I don't believe I know these other

people?"

     Ranma stared for a moment. Kodachi not launching

herself at him with a cry of "Ranma-sama!"? This *was*

a different reality. "Um, this is Cologne and her

granddaughter Shampoo of the Chinese Amazons, Hikaru

Gosunkugi from Furinkan High School, Amy Madison, an

exchange student from America, Yuko Ose and Aiko Tendo,

formerly of Ohtori, my fiance Keiko Tendo, and of course

you know your brother."

     Kodachi and Tatewaki looked each other over. Tatewaki

spoke first. "You look well, my sister. Have you been

treated well?"

     Kodachi sighed. "It's a long story, but in general,

yes."

     Yuko and Aiko started at seeing Nanami. "Nanami-sama!

What are you doing here? Why aren't you in your Student

Council uniform?"

     Nanami looked at them levelly. "I'm no longer a

member. I resigned my position some months ago at the

request of Kuno-sempai."

     Keiko fixed Nanami with a less friendly look. "And

how is your brother?"

     "Welcome back, Keiko. Healing, I expect. I don't see

him too often these days. Congratulations on your

engagement."

     Keiko nodded. "Thank you, Kiryu-san. Ranma and I are

very happy."

     Undersecretary Fuse coughed. "Pardon me, but Miss Kuno

and I have business to attend to at Ohtori. Can we deal

with the reunions later?"

 

***

 

     Fuse looked around Akio's office. "Well, I suppose it

will do for now. Thank you for your help, Miss Ohtori, and

please accept my condolences on the death of your fiance."

     Kanae Ohtori regarded the Undersecretary expressionlessly.

"I gather from what people have been saying about him, and

from the way he conducted himself yesterday, that I'm well

rid of him. However, thank you. If there's any way that I

or the Board of Trustees can help you, just let me know."

She nodded and departed.

 

***

    

    The magicians gathered in the common room of the East

Dormitory. "Well, things are almost back to normal," Hikaru

said. "Just about everyone's back in place except for Mousse.

I guess we can wrap this up and head home tomorrow."

     "Almost," Cologne disagreed. "Akio Ohtori was only part

of the power here at Ohtori Academy. He was the physical

manifestation of an undead spirit that worked its will

through him, and there is another such manifestation that

we must find if we're to prevent any future occurrence of

these events. We must find that manifestation and place it

under restraint."

     "But how...?" Amy started to ask.

     "These things aren't that hard to find," Cologne sighed.

"They usually make their existence painfully obvious. All you

have to do is look around, ask a few questions, and know what

the answers mean."

     "Or wait for the answer to come to you," Ukyo interrupted.

"Hello, Cologne. Hi, Shampoo. Hi, Gosunkugi. You must be Amy,"

she said to the American witch. "As I was saying, I know just

the person you're looking for. She used to be my girlfriend."

 

***

 

     "Seitokaicho Toga Kiryu." Fuse pronounced the name as if

Toga was already dead. The Student Council President stood at

stiff attention before the Undersecretary's desk. "You've been

a very busy young man here, but unfortunately you haven't been

busy setting a good example for the underclassmen at Ohtori.

Quite the contrary. What the hell did you think you were

playing at here?"

     "I followed Chairman Ohtori's instructions to the

letter," Toga replied stiffly.

     Fuse leaned back in the chair and studied the young

man. "Oh? Was he the one who instructed you to scar young

Kuonji-san and cut off her hair after your first duel?"

     Toga looked down. "No."

     "Your conduct in general here has been less than

exemplary. I realize a young, handsome man such as yourself

must attract many girls, but behaving like some kind of a

he-slut...disgusting. Well. In view of your conduct here,

the Ministry is ordering your expulsion. You have sixty

days to enroll at another high school outside the

prefecture. You will resign your position on the Student

Council immediately. You will leave this campus by the end

of the day, and if it becomes known to me that you have

returned I will have you jailed. Do you understand?"

     "Yes, Undersecretary."

     "Get out of my sight."

 

***

 

chapter eleven - shadows of the past and future

 

 

     Fuse stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray and lit

another one almost immediately. It had been a long day spent

cleaning up the mess Akio Ohtori had created, and as usual

in these cases it was never the creators of the mess who

suffered most. He stared out the window at the school.

All those stupid children, living in a fantasy world with

no notion of the evil underneath. All the petty motivations

and excuses finally laid bare. His work was officially over,

and he could return to Tokyo and his apartment on the late

train, but he had promised himself that he would tie up one

last loose end before he left.

     There was nobody else left to tell her, in any case.

 

     Kodachi knocked quietly at the door to the office.

She wasn't looking forward to this interview at all. True,

she hadn't been involved in the duels herself, and in fact

had seduced Juri and Nanami away from their Student Council

posts, but even Ukyo had left that office ashen-faced and

unwilling to talk. She also remembered the strange look on

her father's face when the Undersecretary had informed him

that he would be returning to Furinkan. The usual manic

expression on her father's face had drained away, and he

seemed to be trying to remember something...something

painful, or at the very least unpleasant. She had almost

thought of asking him, but the moment had passed, and he

was his old wacky self again.

    "Come in," Fuse said. "Take a seat."

    He looked tired, Kodachi thought, and far older than

his years. "How can I help you, sir?"

    "Well, I'm not going to ask you about your part in all

this," he said, "since it seems clear to me from the

testimony of Miss Arisugawa and Miss Kiryu, among others,

that you had no involvement in the duels and had little to

do with the late Deputy Chairman."

    "Yes, sir."

    "I actually wanted to get something off my chest.

I knew your parents, you see, and I wanted to make sure

you, at least, knew the whole truth about your parents

and your older brothers."

    "Brothers? But I have only-"

    "One brother? Yes. One surviving brother, more

accurately. You were originally the youngest of four

children. This goes back some years, to the second decade

after the Occupation ended. They don't talk much about it

in the history books these days, and even in the

universities it's still considered in bad taste to discuss

the social climate of the times.

    "It was a time of great dislocations. The government

was pursuing a policy of economic expansion, which

unfortunately caused much hardship and led to the emergence

of a revolutionary Communist underground. This 'Sect'

conducted a terrorist campaign against the government and

often turned what were intended as peaceful demonstrations

by legitimate political parties into bloody street battles.

    "Your father and I served in what was called the 'Special

Unit', a heavily armed branch of the National Police that

had originally been formed under the Germans. We fought the

Sect in street combat and also as a secret police organization.

That was how your parents met." Fuse stubbed out his cigarette

and lit a new one.

    "My mother was a member of the Special Unit?"

    "Oh, no. She was a Sect member caught carrying explosives.

Instead of killing herself as so many of them did, she defected.

She was amnestied, and eventually wound up marrying your father."

    "But...Father never mentioned being in the police, much

less being in any kind of special unit. I thought he had left

the family business to go into teaching."

    Fuse smiled wolfishly. "In a manner of speaking. Your

grandfather was a member of the Kempei Tai during the war,

but he died when the Germans bombed Hiroshima. As for your

father, he became a teacher after your mother went mad. When you

were about six years old, something snapped in her. She killed

your older brothers and was about to do the same to you and

Tatewaki when your father came home and caught her. He saved

both of you, but the shock of being forced to kill the woman

he loved and the deaths of his oldest sons, pushed him  over

the edge too. He fled to Hawaii, and when we found him he

remembered nothing but his name.

     "Your parents had honeymooned in Hawaii, and perhaps

his subconscious drew him there as someplace he could be

happy, or remember being happy, even as it repressed all

the memories of what had led up to the horrors that had

driven him there." He shrugged. "Talk to different shrinks,

you get different reasons. For us in the Special Unit, it

was enough that he remembered nothing of his career with us.

We put him back together as a school principal whose wife

had died of cancer, changed the paperwork as necessary,

and let him go. I've been his case officer for the last

ten years, making sure he remains what he appears to be...

a slightly mad schoolmaster with a fetish for things

Hawaiian."

     "So when he sees you...he remembers, a little."

     "Unfortunately, yes. I try to actually meet him as

little as possible, to avoid stirring up the memories."

     Kodachi closed her eyes tightly, fighting back the

tears. When she was sure she had reestablished control,

she gave Fuse a hard look. "Does my brother know this?"

     "No. He has his own problems, and telling him the

truth about your parents wouldn't help him at all. Better

to let him share your father's delusion. Some part of him

probably remembers seeing your father kill your mother,

and it would be best to let it lie, don't you think?"

     "Aren't you worried about me? Hasn't it crossed

your mind that this might make me...unstable?"

     "Until you came here to Ohtori, I would have said

yes. However, your conduct during the goings-on here

convinced me differently. You have a steel core underneath

the silky exterior, Miss Kuno. Perhaps you might do well

in my job someday, since the Special Unit no longer exists

as such."

     "Become a bureaucrat in the Ministry? That's hardly

high praise."

     Fuse laughed. "I'm sure it doesn't sound that way.

Unless you stop for a moment and realize what  my real

job is here, and how little it actually has to do with

education. You don't think Akio Ohtori  was an ordinary

human being, do you?"

     Kodachi's eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure I understand."

     Fuse leaned forward. "Akio Ohtori and his 'sister'

Anthy were extremely powerful magicians, capable of changing

shape and distorting the nature of time and space in their

vicinity. Now that Ohtori is dead, and his 'sister' about

to be exiled-"

    "Exiled??"

    "I cut a deal with the Amazon matriarch Cologne to get

Anthy Himemiya out of the country and, shall we say, restrain

her. With her out of the country, things should get back to

normal around here. Unfortunately, this isn't the only school

where this sort of garbage goes on, and there aren't nearly

enough people in the Ministry that have a talent for dealing

with these situations. I think there's enough of your father

in you to make you one of those people. I'm not pressing you

to decide right now. Finish high school, go to college, think

about what I've said." He lit another cigarette. Kodachi

noticed that he did so without a match or lighter.

    Kodachi thought about it. Obviously the secret police

still existed, if in a very strange form, and just as

obviously they wielded considerable power. She could go far

in such an organization, with her talents..."I don't need to

wait. I want in."

    Fuse nodded slowly. "I thought you would. We'll be in

touch, Miss Kuno. Sharpen your talents and your skills,

and study the occult. I think you'll find it useful in this

line of work." He stubbed out his cigarette and dumped the

overflowing ashtray into the wastebasket. "In the meantime,

hard work!"

    "Hard work," Kodachi echoed.

 

***

 

     Ukyo Kuonji walked back to the East Dorm alone after helping Amy,

Cologne, Gosunkugi and Shampoo capture and subdue Anthy Himemiya. It

hadn't really taken much effort. Anthy never seemed to have recovered

after Ukyo had spurned her following the last duel, and didn't even

seem to realize what was happening when Shampoo paralyzed her with

perfect strikes to her chakras. They had tied her up, sealed her in a

box with spirit wards on the outside, and left the Amazons to sit

watch until the morning.

     As usual, she walked alone. Most of the East Dorm girls were busy

with the Student Council, Wakaba had long since been driven off by her

focus on Anthy, and the rest of Ohtori's coeds avoided her on general

principle, put off by the cold demeanor she seemed to radiate these

days without even trying. Ranma was spending his time with Keiko

Sonoda, who didn't look like she was planning on staying at Ohtori

after all, and Akane was madder than a wet hen about it. None of

Ohtori's boys, of course, would come anywhere near her after she'd

crippled Saionji, Toga and Miki. So she walked alone through the

twilight.

     As she approached the East Dormitory, she saw Tatewaki Kuno

talking with one of the Ohtori students. "...and so even more than

technical skill, I believe spiritual force is necessary for the

true kendo master. That may have been your problem, Kyouichi-kun.

You concentrated too much on the forms without attending to the

spiritual dimension of the Art."

     "Kodachi certainly thought so," Ukyo commented as she walked

up to the pair. "How unusual to see you here, Saionji-san.

Especially out of uniform."

     "I'm not on the council anymore, Kuonji-san. As a matter of

fact, I probably shouldn't even be wearing the school uniform

any more, since I'm transferring out with Toga Kiryu."

     "Undersecretary Fuse expelled you, too?"

     "No, it's a voluntary transfer in my case. Toga's extremely

depressed about this whole business with the school, Chairman

Ohtori, and...and you, really."

     Ukyo's face hardened. "My sympathy tank is bone-dry,

Saionji-san. The time for Toga to have regrets would have been

before he humiliated me in front of the entire student body, don't

you think?"

     "I tried to talk him out of that."

     "I'm sorry you didn't succeed. To say the least. I do thank you

for making the effort, though. You and Kaoru-kun were the only two with

the grace to even look embarrassed."

     "He could have beaten you in a fair fight. He didn't have to...to

break you like that. That wasn't necessary, and it wasn't right. He

deserved everything you did to him in the second duel."

     "Well, I'm glad you think so, not that it matters now." Ukyo

yawned. "Is there anything else, Saionji-san?"

     "I wanted...to ask forgiveness of you, Kuonji-san."

     Ukyo stared at him in disbelief. "What?!?"

     "I want to apologize for everything that happened. The duels.

The Rose Bride. Toga. Shiori. All of it. I didn't make it all happen,

but somebody needs to apologize to you, Kuonji-san. You never should

have had to go through any of this. Now that End of the World is

dead, I think somebody needs to step up and apologize to you for

everything you went through. Akio can't because he's dead, Toga

can't because, well, - look, I've known Kiryu Toga since we were

little kids, and he'd rather die than apologize. He just can't do

it. It's a weakness."

     "So you have to do it for him? The hell with that. If he

wants my forgiveness he can just go ahead and die without it.

You I'll accept an apology from, Saionji-san. You took your lumps

and at least tried to do the right thing at the end. Besides, Wakaba

likes you - Gods alone know why - so you can't really be all that bad.

No, you tell that manipulative bastard that he can open his belly

if he wants to apologize. He killed something inside me, Saionji-san.

He left a smoking, glowing crater where my heart should be, and I'll

never forgive him for that. There's no way you should have to carry

that cross for him, I don't care how long you've been friends. If he

was any kind of real friend to you, he wouldn't ask you to do

something like that." Her blood was up, and the scars on her face

glowed a dull brick-red in the fading light.

    "Well, you're probably right about that. At least I have your

forgiveness for the things I did." He started to turn away, but

stopped and faced Ukyo again. "Be strong, Kuonji-san. Someone else

will come into your life and fill that hole. Don't be afraid to let

them close to you just because Toga Kiryu broke your heart - because

if you do, he'll have won the battle and the war." He nodded politely

to her and Tatewaki and walked away into the darkness.

     Ukyo watched him walk away, her mind racing.

     "Perhaps he is closer to mastering the spirit than he thinks,"

Kuno said quietly.

     "Perhaps," Ukyo echoed.

 

     In the darkness, Toga Kiryu turned from where he'd been silently

watching and walked quietly away. "Coward," he whispered to himself.

    

***

 

chapter twelve  - the duellists and the fiancees depart

 

     As President of the Student Council, Kodachi had no problem

appropriating its meeting room for what she derisively referred to as

"the cattle call". She sat at the head of the table, her fingers

steepled and an enigmatic smile on her face. On one side of the table

sat Ukyo and Akane. On the other, Genma Saotome, Soun Tendo, Tatewaki

Kuno and Keiko Tendo. At the foot of the table  sat Ranma Saotome,

looking desperately unhappy. Juri Arisugawa stood by the door with

her arms crossed, and Nanami served the tea. Nanami took her seat next

to Akane, and the meeting started.

"All right," Kodachi sighed, "let's get this over with, since

I'd already made my opinion clear to Akane some months ago. Ranma,

you're a cute guy, and I do appreciate your saving my life. However,

we really don't have anything in common aside from a dislike of my

brother. I was never formally engaged to you, and I think you'll be

relieved to hear that I don't burn with any passion for you, new or

otherwise."

     "So why did you keep doing all that stuff?" Ranma asked.

     "Oh, I derived a certain amount of pleasure from watching Akane

and my dear brother squirm. However, I have too much on my plate to

deal with now, so you can deal with your other three fiancees as you

please and simply forget about me."

     "That's a-"

     "Make that two fiancees," Ukyo interrupted.

     "WHAT?" The surprised exclamation erupted nearly in unison from

five mouths.

     Ukyo looked around the table, and finally fixed her gaze on

Ranma. "I followed you for ten years bent on revenge, and when I

finally found you, you won my heart all over again. You made me think

I had a chance to make it all real and actually marry you. I suppose

it's really not your fault, since your stupid father didn't raise you

with any idea of how to deal with girls, and you sure didn't get any

clues from your girl side. What this all boils down to is that you

couldn't make up your mind, so you kept leading me on, stringing me

along, when your heart was really with someone else.

     "I'm not putting myself through that again. I've had to go

through the whole miserable deal twice over since I've been here,

and I'm just not interested in going back to Nerima and waiting for

you to make up your mind. The engagement is over, and as far as the

family yattai is concerned, I guess I'll just have to beat it out of

your father one of these days  - assuming he ever makes anything out

of himself besides a sponge and a moocher, that is."

     Ranma looked at her in shock. "Ucchan..."

     Ukyo shut her eyes tightly. "Don't, Ranma. Don't call me that

any more. I don't mind being your friend, but I can't stand being

called that any more. Now, if you'll all excuse me..." She shoved her

chair back, stood, and walked stiffly to the door. Juri reached out

and put a hand on her shoulder and whispered something to her. Ukyo

shook her head and stepped out through the door when Juri opened

it for her.

    Ranma looked back to Kodachi, who sat Sphinx-like at the head of

the table. "What did you do to her?"

    "Nothing, Saotome-san." A smile flickered briefly across her face.

"Why, do you think I should have? I will take some credit for pulling

her out of a drunken depression after she was defeated by her ex-

boyfriend and abandoned by the girl she thought was her girlfriend,

but I never discussed you with her. She made it very clear that the

subject was off-limits, especially after her final duel here."

    "Duels?"

    Kodachi flipped her hand dismissively. "It would take too long

to explain fully. Suffice it to say that Kuonji-san found herself

drawn into a series of swordfights with the members of the Student

Council. She fought two duels against the former Saitokaicho, Toga

Kiryu, the second of which was her last. She won all of them except

for the second-to-last duel, which followed Toga Kiryu publicly

dumping her as his girlfriend."

    "His girlfriend?"

    "Is there an echo in here? Kiryu seduced her and then dumped her

in a successful attempt to break her psychologically. Looked at

objectively, it was an excellent tactical move. Subjectively, I still

think she should have crippled him permanently, but it's all over now."

    Ranma sat back, stunned.

    The brief silence was ended by a knock at the door. Juri opened

it slightly and then more widely as Cologne hopped into the room.

"I hear this is where your fiancees are leaving you, Saotome," she

teased Ranma. "That being the case, I thought I should drop by and

bid you farewell on behalf of my granddaughter."

    Keiko rested her chin in her hands and smiled at the old Amazon

matriarch. "Why the sudden change? She's been chasing him for years

and now she drops out without so much as a good-bye?"

    Cologne fixed a beady eye on her. "Your road isn't completely

clear yet, Sonoda-san. As for the reason, there are matters more

important to the survival of the Amazon nation than finding martial

arts death machines to sire our children. Shampoo and I must return

to Joketsuzoku to deal with one of those matters."

    "Thanks for all the help, obaa-sama," Ranma said quietly.

    "You're welcome," Cologne said. "Perhaps if this business at

Ohtori hadn't come up we might have witnessed a three-way fight for

the right to possess you as husband, but if pigs had wings they'd be

pigeons, too. As it is," she said, looking at Akane and Keiko, "I hope

you both lose. Neither of you are good enough for Saotome-san."

Without another word she turned and hopped out of the room, barely

giving Juri time to open it.

 

    The door closed behind Cologne, and the room fell quiet for a

moment. Ranma looked down for a moment and then looked at Akane. It

was a perfectly innocent look, but she bridled reflexively. "What

are you staring at, Ranma?"

     "I was just wondering if you were going to make it a clean

sweep," he answered quietly. "Except for Keiko, all my other

fiancees have found some reason to give up on me. You can't blame

me for wondering about you," he said defensively.

     Akane's face clouded. "What does he mean, 'except for Keiko',

Uncle Saotome?" she growled.

     Genma's chair clattered backward for an instant before being

snatched up and juggled between the panda's front and rear paws.

     Soun Tendo's eyes narrowed. "Not this time, Saotome-san."

He grabbed the teapot and upended it on his friend's head, and Genma

immediately reassumed his human form. The chair landed squarely

on his head. "This was your bright idea, so you get to explain it to

my daughter."

     Genma mopped his forehead nervously. "I thought we agreed-"

     Soun assumed his Demon-Head form. "EXPLAIN!"

     Genma cringed and turned to face Akane, who by now had her arms

crossed and a skeptical expression already on her face. "Well, ah,

when we couldn't find you or this Ohtori Academy after several months,

we thought-"

     "YOU thought," Soun interrupted.

     "- that it would be prudent to, ah, explore other options in case

we never found you, since after all the important thing was to unite

the two schools of Anything Goes Martial Arts, ne? Yes. So, your father

adopted Aiko and Keiko, and since Keiko had more talent than Aiko,

well, ah,"

     "You decided to set Ranma up with Keiko," Akane finished coldly.

     "Yes." Genma's eyes appraised the room for possible exits, and

as he realized he'd either have to get past an unfriendly fencing

master or dive out a sixth-floor window onto stone, he slumped in his

chair. The Saotome Secret Technique would be of no use here.

     "That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard from you, Uncle

Saotome."

     "Funny, Nabiki said almost the same thing."

     "..."

     Keiko leaned back and smiled lazily at her adopted sister. "You're

putting up an awful lot of fuss for somebody that doesn't even like

boys in general, and this one in particular."

     "What are you talking about?"

     "You know exactly what I'm talking about. I spent six months at

Furinkan while you were here at Ohtori. I know all about the

relationship you and Ranma had. Letting Nabiki take nude pictures of

his girl form and pimp him out. Punching him out in public. Acting

like some kind of macho bull dyke instead of the fiancee of one of

the most popular boys in your class."

     "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

     "You heard me. Or do you have a different word in Nerima to

describe a girl who hates boys and prefers the company of girls?"

     "RRRRRANMAAAAA!"

     Ranma looked back and forth between his two remaining fiancées

with dismay as the conversation went downhill in flames. "Hey, I never

told her anything about us!"

      "No, he didn't," Keiko said sweetly. "He didn't have to. All

your classmates were more than happy to tell me. Yuka and Sayuri

especially, though I don't think Ranma would have appreciated some

of what they said."

     "Huh?" Ranma snapped his head to look at Keiko.

     "Never mind, Ranma dear. So how about it, Akane? You obviously

aren't in love with him - why, if we weren't sitting in this nice,

tastefully decorated conference room, you probably would have punted

Ranma into low Earth orbit by now. If you don't love him, why act

like the dog in the manger? You never wanted to marry him in the

first place, and now you have an honorable way out."

     Ranma bigsweated. "Keiko-chan, I don't think - "

     "Hush, Ranma. I know what I'm doing."

     Akane sighed, and the anger drained from her face. "Maybe I

didn't want to marry him in the beginning, but why don't you turn

the question on its head? If I've been so awful to him, why doesn't

he pick one of my other sisters?"

     Keiko laughed harshly. "Oh, that's rich. You know perfectly well

Kasumi's in love with Dr. Tofu, and even if she wasn't she wouldn't

have eyes for Ranma since he's far too young for her. As for Nabiki

- that's a sick joke. It's not even remotely funny. Aiko doesn't

have the talent, as Uncle Saotome said. That leaves me. " Keiko

leaned forward and glared at Akane. "It's all about honor, darling

sister. Ranma felt compelled to marry someone who treated him like

dirt because of his honor as a martial artist. Guess what, though?

Now he doesn't have to. Now he has a fiancee that loves him every

bit as much as he loves her, who can help him unite the schools of

Anything Goes Martial Arts. All you have to do- "

     "-is walk away from a fight?" Akane shook her head. "Not now,

not ever, my dear *sister*.I don't know what my *friends* at Furinkan

may have told you, but Akane Tendo doesn't give up and doesn't break

her word. I could have had my pick of men here at Ohtori, but unlike

*some* members of the Tendo family, *I* kept my legs closed and my

mouth shut instead of seducing someone else's fiance!"

     "Now, Akane-" Soun began to say.

     "SHUT UP, FATHER!" his daughters chorused. Soun burst into

tears.

 

     *WHAM* Kodachi brought her gavel down on the block of wood with

enough force to nearly split the table. "That's quite enough, all of

you! Sit down!"

     The Tendo sisters sank back into their seats, but you could see

their auras flaring even in the brightly lit conference room. Ranma

sat with his head buried in his hands, unwilling to look at either

of his remaining fiancees. Genma and Soun sat motionless in their

chairs, trying through sheer willpower to sink into the cushions.

     Tatewaki Kuno broke the silence with a quiet chuckle. "Alas,

dear Akane, even I cannot rescue you from your present plight. While

I have yet to attain Nirvana, still my arrival here has brought me

some little enlightenment. I must forswear my pursuit of the

Pig-tailed Girl, since my sister has proven conclusively to me that

she is none other than that same Ranma Saotome I once thought to be

her captor. At the same time, samurai honor requires that I abandon

my pursuit of you, as you are already promised to another. Fear not

for my lonely heart, though, for it has already found solace in the

arms of my sister's friend Nanami Kiryu. We shall be wed on the next

auspicious day following her graduation from Ohtori Academy."

     The muttered congratulations sounded throughout the room, and

Tatewaki nodded graciously in acknowledgement. He rose from the

table, bokken in hand as always, and made his way to the door.

As Juri opened it, he turned back toward the table. "Unlike the

Amazon matriarch, I must say that you, Ranma Saotome, are truly

blessed among men. Even now, you are sought by two women who are

as far above you in quality as the stars are above the sand fleas."

He nodded to his sister and left.

 

     "Well," Kodachi said once her brother had left, "it seems the

two of you need to thrash this out. Since your mercenary sister

isn't here, we may as well get on with it." She turned to the

unhappy fathers. "Would you gentlemen prefer this to be a public or

a private duel?"

     Soun shook himself and looked at Kodachi. "Private, by all means."

     Kodachi nodded. "As it happens, we have just the place for this

sort of thing. Come with me." She rose from the table and moved to

leave. Juri already had left, and was waiting for the elevator to

come back up to the Student Council level. The remaining members of

the Council stood to one side with Akane, who was still glaring at

Keiko. Keiko returned her glare watt for watt, with her arms

crossed and her lip slightly curled in contempt. Ranma stared

back down the hallway to the open sky beyond the balcony, while his

father tried unsuccessfully to console a silently weeping Soun Tendo.

     Nanami nudged Akane. "Are you ready for this, Akane-sempai?"

     Akane turned to her and sighed. "Honestly, Nanami-kun, I'm not

sure. I haven't sparred with anyone since I've been here. I'm still

in pretty decent shape, but...it's been a few months."

     Nanami nodded. "Be careful. Sonoda-san...well, she has a

vicious streak, and she plays to win. Believe in yourself. We'll be

there for you, so she won't do anything too far out of line."

     Akane forced a smile onto her face. "Thanks, Nanami-kun." She

looked at her fiance. Ranma was still staring off into the empty sky,

looking as miserable as she had ever seen him. <This is what comes of

not making up your mind, anata-baka.> she thought. <People you love

get hurt, and in the end you do too.>

     The elevator cage crashed open, and Juri stepped in. "You'll

show them to the Dueling Forest, Seitokacho?" she asked, looking

back at Kodachi.

     Kodachi nodded. "I'll see to it."

     Juri nodded, and stepped into the elevator along with Akane and

Nanami. At the last minute, Soun Tendo rushed into the cage moments

before Juri closed it. As the elevator sank down to the ground floor,

he looked at Akane and sighed. "I'm sorry, Akane."

     Akane's anger melted. She embraced her father, hugging him hard

enough to elicit a pained "oof!". "It's all right, Daddy. I

understand. You thought you had to do something. Didn't you think

Ranma would find me, though?"

     Soun looked down for a moment before meeting her eyes. "I wanted

to believe, but it was so long...Ranma and Gosunkugi and that

American witch didn't find out anything for the longest time, and I

was weak. I let Saotome-san talk me into this when I should have

known better. Nabiki doesn't talk to me hardly at all any more.

Kasumi...she's very troubled by all this. She thinks I should have

made sure that you were- that...something -final- had happened to you

before I made the decision to adopt the girls." He looked away. "Your

father is a very weak man, Akane. I am so sorry..." His eyes began to

water again, and Akane noticed out of the corner of her eye that Juri

and Nanami had suddenly found the ceiling of the elevator incredibly

fascinating.

     She sighed. "I'll be all right, Daddy. She can't have learned

enough in just a few months to beat me. You've been training me since

I was a little girl, and even if I haven't been sparring these last

few months, I've kept in shape. Don't cry. It'll be all right."

     The elevator came to a stop, and the cage crashed open. "This

way," Juri said, motioning them toward the door. "It's not far from

here. Just follow me, Tendo-sensei."

 

     Keiko had watched her adoptive father run for the elevator.

<So, that's how it is. Blood will tell, won't it? Well, oto-san,

I have a few tricks up my sleeve that you didn't teach me.>

She looked back at Ranma, who was still staring off into the empty

sky, thinking about kami knew what. <Are you losing faith in me too,

Ranma?> She shook her head angrily and clenched her fists. "Not this

time," she said quietly to herself. "I'm not going back to the herd and

become nobody again. Not even to make you happy, Ranma Saotome."

 

chapter 13 - once more, with feeling

 

     Ranma stared into the cloudless blue sky, looking for an answer,

a clue, something that would help him figure a way out of the mess he

had gotten himself into yet again. Nothing appeared in the sky to

help him, any more than it ever had on the rare occasions when he

tried to make sense of his senseless situation with girls. He felt

utterly miserable after the meeting, and had no idea who to talk to

about it. On the one hand, he was free of Kodachi Kuno and Shampoo,

but on the other hand Ucchan had been scarred emotionally and

physically by what she'd gone through here at Ohtori - and it was,

he had to admit, his own fault for leading her on. He had never found

the courage to tell her he loved Akane and that the best she could

hope for was to be his best friend. Not that that would have worked,

either, he realized. Akane would have been forever suspicious of her

closeness to him, and Ucchan would have probably harbored some secret

hope that if things got bad enough between him and Akane...no, it

would never have worked. Besides, how would he ever have managed to

make the loss of her dowry up to her? For all his adventures and

skill at the martial arts, he didn't have two yen to rub together on

most days, and his father wasn't much better off.

     Now Keiko had gotten stirred into the mix. He closed his eyes

and thought about her, and his mind flashed back to the sex. There

was more to their relationship than that, of course, but did he love

her the way he loved Akane? He just didn't know. He hadn't had to

fight for Keiko the way he had for Akane, but then she hadn't held

him at arms' length, either. She had been proud to have him for a

fiance. She had been eager to sleep with him - again with the sex,

he thought guiltily. Maybe it's just my hormones talking, he

thought glumly. I'm so used to just reacting to things. I don't

hardly think about anything unless I'm trying to analyze whatever

new attack Ryoga's come up with.

     "Penny for your thoughts, Saotome-san." He had been so

distracted by his own thoughts that he hadn't even heard Kodachi

come up behind him.

     "Kuno-san. They're not worth that much, I'm afraid."

     "I thought I should step over here and interrupt the thought

processes before your head blew up," she teased. "I could see the

pressure building from down the hall. Have you ever thought this

much about anything aside from martial arts?"

     Ranma grimaced. "Unfortunately, no, or I probably would have

figured out a way to avoid this predicament before this."

     Kodachi nodded. "Yes. You're a very strong martial artist, but

you seem to have acquired that strength by not stopping to think

things through."

     "Must get that from my dad." Ranma grumbled, shooting a venomous

glare at his father, who was sitting on the floor meditating.

     "Perhaps," Kodachi replied. "Then again, after a certain point

you have to stop blaming your parents for your problems and start

dealing with them yourself."

     Ranma jerked as if she had slapped him. "What do you man by

that? Is that what you did here? Is that why you've changed so much?"

     Kodachi's eyes narrowed. "You never really knew me all that well,

Saotome-san. You didn't live with me or visit me on a daily basis, as

you did your other four fiancees. So don't presume to think you know

the real Kodachi Kuno - either the one that attended St. Heberike or

the one that attends Ohtori. I was merely stating the obvious. You're

a junior in high school, Saotome. It's about time you started acting

like an adult and taking some responsibility for yourself instead of

acting like an immature child. More than anyone else except Toga

Kiryu, you're the one responsible for the mess Kuonji-san is in, and

the same applies to this business with the Tendos. You could have

stood up and said no to your father and made it stick, but instead

you just went along because it was easier than facing up to your

responsibilities."

     "Now wait a minute!" Ranma replied hotly. "I never gave up

searching for Akane. Your brother and I went to a lot of trouble

to help Gosunkugi and Madison-san in their research as well. You

can't just stand there and accuse me of giving up-"

     "Oh? If you hadn't given up, why did you consent to the

engagement? In your heart you must have given up, Saotome. Either that,

or you're even more stupid than anyone previously thought."

     The elevator returned at that point, and the crash of the cage

opening drowned out Ranma's reply to that. Kodachi had already turned

to walk away in any case, leaving Ranma with his mouth open and no one

to talk to. He shut his mouth angrily, but Kodachi had set his mind

running down a path he hadn't even known was there. One thing he did

know was that he wasn't liking what he saw on that path very much.

 

     Soun Tendo looked out over the campus from the Dueling Arena.

"Well, this was worth the climb," he said, turning back to face the

girls who had accompanied him on the long walk up the stairs. "It's

odd that you can't see this from the grounds, though."

     Juri nodded. "Yes, you'd think it would be quite noticeable.

It must be done with mirrors."

     "Eh?"

     "Well, do you see any smoke, Tendo-sensei?"

     Soun facefaulted. Nanami giggled, and Akane rolled her eyes.

<At least he's not crying any more.>

 

     The second group arrived at the gates to the Arena, which Juri

had left open. Kodachi and Keiko walked right in, but as Genma

followed Ranma caught his sleeve and dragged him to a halt. "Don't

wait for us," Ranma called out to Keiko, who had noticed what was

going on and stopped. "We'll be up in just a minute." Keiko nodded

and trotted up the stairs to catch up with Kodachi, who had kept

climbing.

     "What's this all about, boy?" Genma growled.

     "This is another fine mess you've gotten me into, oyaji," Ranma

growled back. "And you're going to get me out of it."

     "Excuse me?" Genma looked askance at his son. "I don't recall

anyone twisting your arm to get you to agree to this. You went along

with the engagement to Keiko quite willingly. Of course," he smiled

slyly, "the fact that she was screwing your socks off may have had

something to do with that."

     Ranma glared at his father. "That doesn't change the fact that

this was *your* brilliant idea. Just like the engagement to Ukyo was

*your* idea. So it's *your* responsibility to do something! They're

going to kill each other up there!"

     Genma laughed uneasily. "I think Akane's much better than Keiko,"

he said. "As much as I like Keiko myself, she just doesn't have the

years of practice Akane does, and she doesn't have the strength Akane

does either. We're talking about a girl who used to crush concrete

blocks for stress relief, you know."

     "We're talking about a girl whose older sister never revealed to

her their mother's fighting secrets, and who never picked up any of

Dr. Tofu's shiatsu techniques. When strength fights skill, oyaji,

which one normally wins?"

     "You know that answer as well as I do, Ranma."

     "Well, then DO something!"

     "They're your fiancees, Ranma. YOU do something." With that,

Genma fell backwards into one of the pools of water next to the gate,

transforming as he sank into the water. The panda slapped the water,

sending a wave of water crashing over Ranma and triggering the change

in him as well.

     Thoroughly angry and frustrated, Ranma-chan leaped into the air

and kicked the panda in the snout and skull with both feet. It let

out an abbreviated howl and passed out. Ranma landed on her feet and

scowled at the panda. "Useless old fart!" she screamed. "I hope they

carve you up and serve you for dinner!" With that, she turned and

raced up the stairs. <I hope they haven't started beating each other

to death yet,> she prayed as she hurtled up the seemingly endless

steps.

 

      "Traditionally, duels are fought here until one or the other

duellist loses their rose," Kodachi explained. "You can either

choose that or just beat on each other until one of you doesn't get

up, which I gather is traditional in this sort of match. If you want

to do it our way, I have rose blossoms suitable to the occasion. If

not-"

     "Use the roses," Soun interrupted quietly. "I know the two of

you have ample reason to hate each other, but as your father I

would just as soon not see either of you hurt any more than you are

now. We are also going to have to live with each other when this is

over, and it'll be a lot easier if the two of you aren't crippled

 for a month."

     "Agreed," Akane said, keeping her eyes on Keiko. <This is going

to be different. I haven't fought too many people I didn't know

before.>

     "Agreed," Keiko echoed. <She looks pretty muscular. I better keep

my distance or she'll pound me flat.>

     "All right, then." Kodachi stepped between the two girls and

pinned a black rose to Akane's gi. "Ganbatte!" she whispered, and

smiled at her former rival.

     "Thanks," Akane whispered back.

     Kodachi nodded and turned to Keiko, pinning a red rose on her gi.

Her eyes met Keiko's, but she had nothing to say and simply nodded.

She walked off to the edge of the dueling area, and called out,

"Bow to your opponent."

     Akane and Keiko bowed, keeping their eyes locked, and returned

to the upright standing position.

     Kodachi looked to either side. Ranma and his father still hadn't

shown up - no, there she was, running up the stairs and onto the

Arena. Kodachi sighed in annoyance. Why had that idiot Saotome managed

to transform now? She shrugged. It didn't really matter. "FIGHT!" she

called out, and Ranma's two remaining fiancees dropped into combat

stances that looked like mirror images of each other.

    "NOOOO!" Ranma screamed out. "Stop! You can't do this!"

    "And why not?" Soun Tendo snapped at him. "This is your doing,

Saotome-kun. You could never make up your mind to accept Akane as

your fiancee, and you certainly didn't object when your

father and I agreed to have you marry Keiko instead."

     "Just because I was stupid doesn't mean they have to fight!"

     Soun's eyes widened. It was a little late in the day, but at least

one side of Ranma was exhibiting some maturity. "Are you going to

decide, then?"

     Ranma sighed. "Actually, I don't have to. Didn't we agree that

I would marry Keiko if we couldn't find Akane?"

     Soun nodded. "Yes...ah."

     "You see my point. We found Akane. I don't have to marry Keiko."

 

     "Oh, you don't, don't you?" Keiko and Akane had come over to

where Ranma and Soun were discussing matters. Keiko looked angrier

than Ranma had ever seen her. "Funny, you didn't treat me like a

cheap substitute when she was here and I was at your side in Nerima,

Ranma. Now you think I'm just going to step aside, smile and nod

while you go back to Akane? What the hell kind of woman do you take

me for?"

     "Keiko, you're not being reasonable-" Ranma began.

     "I'M not being reasonable?!?! Did you actually stop to think about

how this would make ME feel, Ranma? What am I supposed to do now, slit

my throat for your convenience?" Keiko was crying tears of rage, and

her hands had balled into fists at her side.

      Ranma started to back away, making vague pacifying gestures with

her hands. "Keiko, we can talk this over..."

      "There's nothing to talk about, RANMA NO BAKA!" Keiko's foot

lashed out and Ranma's limp body arced into the air, high over Ohtori

Academy.

      Kodachi looked at the Tendo sisters and back to the flying

body, which hadn't yet reached apogee. "Some things never change,"

she said to herself.

      Keiko turned back to Akane. "We have unfinished business,

Akane. Regardless of what anata-baka thinks, we need to settle the

question of which of us is best suited to carry on the traditions of

the Tendo School of Indiscriminate Grappling."

      "Is this what you really want, Keiko?" Akane asked quietly.

"You were so eloquent about letting Ranma marry the one he wants,

and he seems to have made that clear."

      "Maybe I just want to vent my anger, and you're convenient.

Maybe I really believe I'm the one he really wants, and that he's

still doing what he thinks is his duty. Maybe you'd better just put

up your fists so we can get on with this, ne?"

      The two girls dropped into their fighting stances once again,

and began warily circling each other.

 

     Across the campus, Utena and Ukyo were distracted by the sight

of a red-haired girl plunging out of the sky and crashing through the

glass roof of the abandoned greenhouse. "What was that?" Utena asked,

leaning out the window.

     Ukyo frowned. "Judging from her hair and the way she was

dressed, I'd guess Ranma managed to get Akane upset with him again."

She rose to her feet. "I suppose we'd better get her out of there."

     "Her? I thought Ranma Saotome-"

     "Was a guy? Yeah. It's a long story. Would you do me a favor and

heat up some water? It doesn't have to be boiling, just warmer than

tepid."

     "Okay. You're going to explain all this, right?"

     "Sure. First things first, though."

     Outside in the wreckage of the rose bushes, Ranma moaned

"Itai...." and then passed out.

 

     In the Arena, Akane and Keiko continued to circle each other.

The first exchange of blows had been inconclusive - Keiko had struck

quickly with a flurry of blows aimed at the pressure points on

Akane's arms, but had either missed or had her blows deflected,

while Akane hadn't done more than block Keiko's attacks. "You're

fast," Akane said calmly, "but you're not very good. Been spending

more time screwing than sparring?"

     "More than you have, in both cases," Keiko shot back, and

followed her rejoinder with another attack. She came in low, trying

to sweep Akane's legs, and then popped up quickly to barrage her

opponent with a series of punches to the stomach. Unfortunately for

her, Akane had seen that coming.

     Akane sprang into the air and snap-kicked Keiko in the chest,

sending her flying backwards to land flat on her back on the hard

stone of the arena. Akane landed and ran forward, hoping to catch

Keiko as she was rising, but Keiko was too fast. She sprang to her

feet and lashed out with her fists. Akane was forced to stop and

counterpunch. Keiko danced away from the blows.

     "This could go on for a while," Juri commented to Kodachi.

     "Yes. It's an interesting match, though. Keiko-san has natural

speed, but she's far less experienced with her techniques than Akane.

Akane is also far stronger than Keiko. If Akane gets a good shot in,

it's going to be all over," Kodachi replied.

 

     Ranma regained consciousness in his male body, and opened his

eyes to see Ukyo and Utena looking at him in some concern. "Thanks,"

he whispered. "Kami, she kicks as hard as Akane..."

     "Oh, Keiko nailed you this time?" Ukyo asked. "I thought you two

were all lovey-dovey."

     "That was before I told her I was going to have to marry Akane."

     "Ranchan no baka."

     "Wait a minute," Utena interrupted, "you're engaged to Sonoda-san

and Tendo-san? And you used to be engaged to Ukyo?"

     "It's a long story," Ranma said. "We won't even mention Kodachi

and Shampoo."

     "You just did," Utena said.

     "Forget I mentioned it." Ranma sat up and moaned. "Got any

aspirin? I should really get back to the Arena before they beat each

other to a pulp."

     "Not much chance of that," Ukyo said skeptically. "Keiko might

be good, but she's nowhere near as good as Shampoo or I am."

     "Here," Utena said, extending the bottle and a glass of water

to Ranma.

     "Well, yeah, but I don't want to see Keiko get hurt," Ranma

explained between inhaling the pills and drinking the water. "She was

very good to me while Akane was gone."

     "She shtupped your brains out, didn't she, honey?" Ukyo grinned.

     "Ukyo!" Utena exclaimed, scandalized.

     Ranma blushed and looked away. "I gotta go," he muttered. He

stood up, stretched, and winced as he felt all of the bruises.

Several of his joints popped as he worked them back into their proper

positions.

     "We'd better go with you," Utena said with concern in her voice.

"You look ready to fall over."

     "No, it's all right," Ranma demurred. "I've taken worse than this

before."

     "I insist," Utena said.

     "She's right, Ranchan," Ukyo agreed. "You look like hell, and

it's a long way up those stairs."

     "All right," Ranma sighed. "let's go, then."

 

     By the time the three of them made it back to the Dueling Arena,

it was all over. Genma had apparently regained consciousness, since

the panda was no longer wallowing in the pool by the gate, but the

rest of the crowd was coming down the stairs. "Welcome back to the

land of the living, Ranma," Kodachi called out.

     Ranma's eyes went immediately to Akane. She was walking down

the stairs with her black rose still intact, helping support Keiko,

whose left leg had apparently been hurt. Keiko's right arm was also

in a sling, Ranma noted, and her red rose was nowhere to be seen.

She wouldn't meet his eyes, but Akane looked at him with a

carefully neutral expression. "I broke her arm," Akane explained.

"She tried to block one of my punches and succeeded a little too well

- if she'd deflected it she would have been fine, but she stopped it

with her forearm."

     "And the leg?" Ranma asked.

     "I twisted my ankle," Keiko replied quietly. "I tried to do a

flying kick and landed wrong. It's not her fault. I'm sorry, Ranma."

     "You did your best," Ranma reassured her.

     "We'll get her to the infirmary," Nanami interrupted. "You two

have some things you need to sort out." She moved forward and took

Keiko's arm off Akane's shoulders.

     "I need a shower," Akane said. Without waiting to see if anyone

was following, she headed off to the East Dormitory.

     Ranma looked at Keiko. Her face was lined with pain and

exhaustion, and she shook her head. "Go. There's nothing you can do

for me right now, but she needs you, anata-baka."

     Ranma opened his mouth to say something and thought better of it.

He nodded and took off after Akane.

    

     He caught up with her fairly quickly - she wasn't moving very fast,

and he was feeling a little better since the aspirin had kicked in.

"Akane, we need to talk."

     "Fine," she said quietly. "We can talk in the bath. Do my back?"

     "Uh - sure," Ranma scratched his head. "You want me to - you want

me to change first?"

     "No," Akane responded quietly, "it's not necessary. We've seen

each other naked before."

     Ranma blinked. <That's a change.>

     Akane didn't say anything until the two of them were soaking in

the furo. "So," she said at long last, "I guess we'll be the ones to

carry on after all. Unless, of course, you'd still rather have Keiko."

     Ranma sighed. "No. I hate to admit this, but I didn't think this

through very well when oyaji sprung it on me. I don't have any

excuses, Akane. I *was* stupid. I'm sorry."

     There was another long silence. "Did you two really...have sex

with each other?"

     Ranma blushed. "Yes. A lot."

     Akane nodded, still not looking at him. "I didn't, you know. I

knew you'd come for me sooner or later. You always do. You've done

all kinds of things for me since we've met. So I...didn't. I didn't

get involved with anyone here at Ohtori because I knew it wouldn't

last." She looked at Ranma, her eyes tearing. "So why did you sleep

with her, Ranchan? Since you knew it wasn't going to last - how

could you do that to us?"

     Ranma swallowed hard. "Akane...you know I - I love you. But

you're right. I don't think too hard about anything that doesn't

involve the martial arts, and it always gets me in trouble. I owe

apologies to a lot of people, Akane. Kodachi was right - Ukyo would

never have gotten herself all wrapped up in what happened here if

I hadn't led her on. I didn't mean to, but I could never bring myself

to just tell her that she had no chance, that we could only be friends.

And Keiko...oyaji may have been a greedy fool to talk your father into

this, but I was the stupid fool who agreed to it. I don't know how I

can ever make it right with either of you."

     Akane stood up and moved across the furo to him. "I don't know

what you're going to do about Keiko," she whispered as the tears

streamed down her face. "but I want you to take me to my room and

make love to me, Ranma. You owe me. Do it now, before I lose my nerve."

     Ranma nodded. They climbed out of the furo together, and he swept

her up in his arms.

     [The rest of this scene is left as an exercise for the reader's imagination. Lemons R So Not Us.]

 

(Ohtori Academy Dispensary)

     "That should take care of your ankle, Miss Sonoda - " the doctor

began.

     "Tendo. My name is Keiko Tendo," Keiko said flatly.

     "Tendo-kun. Yes. Anyway, try to keep the weight off that ankle for

the next week, and since the arm fracture is just a greenstick we'll

take the cast off then as well. Here's some Tylenol if you need it."

The doctor proffered a small bag, which Keiko took and tucked into her

sling. He nodded to the others and stepped out of the exam room.

     Keiko turned and looked at Soun. "What now, oto-san?"

     "You're welcome to come back with us," Soun said.

     Keiko looked at Juri and Nanami briefly, then shook her head.

"It would never work, oto-san. He never really loved me, you know.

It's better to make a clean break."

     Soun's eyes went wide. "How - how could you know that?"

     Keiko laughed humorlessly. "Ranma never did get out of the habit

of calling Akane's name at the moment of climax, oto-san. I think

that's a pretty solid indicator. No, better for everyone if I just

stay here. They'll forget me in time, and so will you. It's really

better this way."

     Soun's eyes moistened. "You're wrong about that. I won't forget.

You were a good daughter to me, and a good student. Keep up your

practice, come back and visit sometime. Perhaps instead of forgetting

you, we'll choose to remember the good parts instead." He hugged Keiko

carefully, and walked quickly out of the room.

 

     Nanami looked at Keiko. "You've changed a lot, Keiko-chan.

The old you would have fought to the bitter end for Saotome-san."

     Keiko fell back against the pillows of the bed. "Only a very

brave man or a complete idiot fights against impossible odds,

Nanami-san. I'm just an ordinary girl with a little bit of kenpo

training and a little bit of martial arts shiatsu training, and my

sister Akane has been training her whole life. Did you really think

I ever had a chance?"

     Juri stirred. "Nobody expected you to win. Honor demanded that

you make the attempt, though. You did the best you could. It was

well done, Tendo-kun."

     Keiko smiled. "Arigato goziemashita, Arisugawa-sempai."

     Juri inclined her head. "Domo, domo. You feel like dinner?"

     Keiko nodded. "I could eat a horse."

     Juri shook her head. "No horse tonight - we're Japanese, not

French. However, there may be panda on the menu."

     Keiko smiled thinly. "Sounds good to me. Let's go."