More
Not-So-Happy Poetry
2/12/99
I often wonder
what's going on
in your mind.
Why do you assume
that you understand
when you really don't?
Why do you say
that you care
even though I know better?
If you cared,
you wouldn't throw
me to the ground
whenever I come to you
for support.
I want
for me to love you
but this situation
makes me hate you.
It makes me
want to free myself
even if through death.
But I wouldn't dare
come to that.
I'm not as selffish
as you.
2/12/99
Candle
You're trying to free me
from the sadness.
You're showing me
that not all flames
Are bad.
But even in your love,
it hurts.
It reminds me of the flame
I have yet to see
in someone else.
Someone who's eyes
Are filled with flames
yet whose heart
coldly denies me
of the love I long for
and the heat I need
To survive.
4/14/99
It hurts me to know
that you've fallem
to the level of everyone else.
I always thought you
were a caring person.
But the apathy
I see in your eyes
shows me that you
are like everyone
who made me cry
with their apathy.
How could you
let revenge consume you?
How can you kick
someone in the head
As they lie on the floor?
Sometimes I wish
that I didn't care
So it wouldn't hurt so much.
But after seeing you
I know better.
6/2/99
You make me wonder
if when I make
my last breath
if you will weep.
Or whether ou will shrug
And decide
it must have been
my fault.
Maybe you will blame me
and say I wanted
to hurt you
But no,
I only wanted
Your attention.
7/12/99
We have been
misinterpreted
by your words,
and your silence
brings us release.
Don't you realize
that your eyes
are not the onyl eyes
that see?
Do you understand
that you brain
is not the only brain
that thinks?
that lives?
It seems that you
cannot believe
that people feel
your unkind words,
and you frown
at their shallowness.
Open your eyes.
Maybe you'll realize
That I am a person, too.
Pretty (12/28/99)
Grasp me
Pull me down.
Take me in for the kill.
Tie me up
With your pretty pink bows
And try
To make me into
What you've always wanted.
Fine,
I'll play your game.
II'll wear your pretty bows.
I'll smile your pretty fake smiles.
Just don't be surprised
If the words
That come out of my mouth
Aren't so pretty.
1/12/00
My lips part
As they release
A sigh
A hidden sob
Your arms tighten
And your caress
Becomes more
Another sob
Breaks through
As I entrap myself
In your love
You pull me away
Just enough
To watch my tears
Fall to stain salt
Into your clothes
You kiss my eyes
And they repsond
With more tears
To quench your thirst
Seems to be
A never-ending supply
At your command
As I tremble
With misunderstanding
Of what
Has just happened.
1/13/00
What
Would you do
If I sucked out
All your energy
And left you
Wondering
Where you stood
What if
Everything you loved
Seemed to hate you
As it faded away
From your grasp
Would you reach for it?
Would you try
As I have done
Or would you
Not even notice
Or decide
That there's more things
To love later
I can't understand
How it can be ignored
When I
Have let it
Consume my life
Until all that's left
Of myself
Is my tears.
2/14/00
Standing on your platform,
Stripped,
Naked to your eyes,
Naked to your malicious looks,
I cry.
I cry to you,
And you laugh
In my face.
Starving me
From your love
And your kindness.
Your makeup
Can not hide
The real me.
Your bows
Will not
Make me bow
Down to you.
Instead
I will learn to smile
At the though
Of stripping you,
And leaving you,
Starving.
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