Sideways Everything I've ever done, I've done because I love you. Sideways. (c)2001 Lauren Friedman DEVON, a girl about 22 with short, mussed hair and MILES, 25, are seated on a curb. Everything on and about MILES is perfect. Not a hair is out of place, but on DEVON, everything from her hat to her mismatched socks, is a little askew. Four suitcases, a carry-on bag, and DEVON'S purse are scattered around their feet. DEVON What time is it?. MILES (Glances at his watch.) Ten till. DEVON (Pause.) Do you think there'll be angels on my bus? MILES Angles. (Pause.) Angels? DEVON Yeah. You know.. like.. to watch over me? MILES Um.. I guess. Why? DEVON (Pause. She cracks her knuckles nervously.) Are you proud of me? MILES What? DEVON Are you proud of me. MILES For what? This? DEVON What else? MILES Yeah, I am. DEVON You've never said it. MILES You've never asked. DEVON And you couldn't be bothered to tell me? MILES (Pause.) You're probably the only person who's ever left Stone Woods. It's really not the kind of place people leave- DEVON Do we have to discuss this? MILES I'm just trying- DEVON Well, don't. (DEVON begins to fiddle with her shoelaces, tying and untying them several times.) MILES What are you doing? DEVON Tying my shoe. (MILES watches DEVON tying her shoes.) MILES You really suck at that. DEVON Thank you. MILES Dev- DEVON Why don't you just go home? I don't need you to baby-sit me until my bus gets here. MILES What would mom say if I left now? (Pause) How long're you gonna be gone? DEVON I told you that yesterday. MILES You'll write, won't you? DEVON If there's anything to write about. I expect it'll be quite mundane. MILES Give me your foot. (DEVON puts her feet in MILES'S lap. He ties her shoes with a flourish.) MILES Better? DEVON How do you do that? MILES The same way you know words like 'mandine'. DEVON Mundane. (Pause) I wish you could come. MILES Me too. But I have a job and a life here. DEVON Here in nowhere. MILES It won't be nowhere when you're gone. It's everywhere. DEVON How is this place everywhere? MILES It's everywhere we've ever known. The Johnson twins' tree house. Mr. Arthur's store. The church. The post office. Parking lots, where we used to ride our bikes. DEVON They're all waiting to get out of here. Even the parking lot. MILES I think the parking lot likes it here. (He reaches into his pocket.) Do you have a cigarette? DEVON You know I don't smoke. MILES You used to. DEVON (Pause) I'm already gone. MILES You are? DEVON (Pause) You and Anna will come and visit me, right? MILES Sure we will. Every summer. DEVON Promise? MILES Pinkey swear. DEVON (Pause) Do you remember- MILES I don't want to play 'remember'. DEVON Please? MILES Fine. DEVON Okay. When were little, there was this huge thunderstorm. Everyone went into mom and dad's room and sat on the bed. We were loud as possible, to drown out the storm. And afterwards, I looked outside and Shana was standing there. She was soaked, and her mother was having a fit. She was going to "Catch her death of cold." But Shana stood there. Just staring at the sky. When we got to her, she wouldn't answer us. She just pointed up. We all looked up, remember that? Little children staring at the sky like zombies? I swear, in five minutes, the entire block was out there. Just staring up.. The kids were, anyway. The adults were too busy pitching fits about the weather and running to get us sweaters. The clouds were amazing that day. Like... like white marshmallows. Just hanging in the sky.. And there was this really thin gray fog over it, just floating along. The most amazingly beautiful thing I've ever seen. At dinner, when mom asked us what all those kids had been staring at, before anyone else at the table could get in a word in edgewise Mary said "the clouds" but those- those weren't clouds. That was God's beard. He came to see if we were all still there. MILES I don't remember that. DEVON What about that time we were at the pool? Keith and Shana and I were playing, and you got in the way, and we tried to chase you away, and you jumped in the water, and when Shana jumped in after you, she chipped her tooth on your head? MILES Now, that I remember. It hurt like hell. DEVON How do you think she felt? MILES I don't know. DEVON (Pause.) I am going to miss you. MILES Did you remember everything? DEVON You'll mail me anything I forgot. MILES (Pause.) Devon? DEVON Hmmm? MILES Can I call you Trudy? Please? DEVON (Pause) You may. MILES Thanks. (Pause) No one else will ever know your name is Trudy. To them, you'll just be Devon. Devon Baron. (Pause) You do realize that Devon is a boy's name, right? DEVON It is not. (Pause) I'd have no problems if Trudy wasn't a hick name. MILES Is Miles a hick name? DEVON Miles suits you. MILES But is it a hick name? DEVON It suits you. MILES And Trudy suits you. DEVON It does not. Anyway, Devon is.. Famous! MILES Is that what you care about? DEVON What the hell kind of question is that? MILES You don't seem to care about anything else- DEVON I care about other stuff. I care a lot. (Pause) Would it make you feel better if I signed my letters Trudy? MILES Would you? DEVON Of course. (Pause.) Do you want one? MILES One what? DEVON A new name. MILES No. That's really okay. DEVON Pity. You'd make a good Drake. MILES I'm perfectly happy as Miles. (Pause) What kind of name is Drake, anyway? DEVON It's the name of the director I'm working with. Drake Nelson. MILES Oh. (Pause) Is he a duck? DEVON No, she is quite human, thanks. MILES I'd be kinda cool if she was a duck- DEVON Stop. MILES (Pause) Did you remember your teddy bear? DEVON Yes. (Beat) Why? MILES I'm curious? (Pause) It's a foggy night- DEVON Cold. MILES It's a foggy night. Do you think the planes will still be taking off? DEVON Probably. (Pause) Do you think I should go? MILES I don't know. (Pause) It's not my decision. DEVON Why not? MILES Well, it's your life. Your choice. DEVON No, why don't you know? MILES (Pause) What your plane crashes? Or if you get there and no one's waiting for you and- and you get lost? DEVON Don't dramatize, Miles. MILES You asked. DEVON I did. (Pause. MILES sits and begins to hum) DEVON What are you humming? MILES Song. DEVON Really? (Pause) You know, you should learn more words. MILES Will you teach me some? (DEVON thinks about that for a second. She reaches into her purse and pulls out an old, beat-up thesaurus.) DEVON Here, take this. MILES Your thesaurus? DEVON Yeah. Keep it with you, for when you need a better word than.. oh, let's say 'good.' (She opens the thesaurus and flips a few pages.) Good. Moral, upright, virtuous, righteous, worthy, exemplary, blameless, guiltless. (She closes the book and hands it to MILES.) Take exemplary care of it, okay? MILES (flipping through it) What will I do with all these words? DEVON Well, don't use them all at once. Try.. try one a week. (pause) Miles? MILES Yes? DEVON Why didn't anyone else come? MILES They threw you a party. DEVON I know.. but you're the only one who came. MILES Well, it's the middle of the night. DEVON Not even Shana. MILES If you're going to be upset, at least use the real names of the people you're upset at. DEVON Fine. Not even Emily. Happy? MILES (Pause) They thought you wouldn't go. DEVON What? MILES They thought you wouldn't go if they came. DEVON They want me to go? MILES Of course they do. We all want you to. DEVON Everyone? MILES Everyone. DEVON Why? MILES Because this is your thing. In three weeks, you'll be just like some movie star. DEVON But.. what if I never come back? What then? MILES You've got more talent in your little finger than the rest of the town put together. DEVON No. I don't. MILES (Pause) How long is it to New York? DEVON I don't know. MILES I'll bet it's a long time. (Pause) You've never been able to sleep in a car. DEVON This is a plane. MILES Same thing. DEVON Who said anything about sleeping? MILES Mom wouldn't approve of you on TV looking all tired. DEVON All the good stories come out at midnight. MILES What does that mean? DEVON All the interesting people in this world are insomniacs. MILES I'm not an insomniac. DEVON I didn't mean- MILES I'm not interesting? DEVON It's just that- MILES I know what you're saying. DEVON I'm saying- MILES That everything in Stone Woods is boring, because we sleep at night- DEVON Stop! Stop it! People here- people.. (pause) Never mind. MILES (Pause) What were you going to say? DEVON Just forget it. MILES I will not forget it. I want to know. DEVON Fine. Stone Woods is my personal hell. This is Our Town. Everyone knows everyone else's business. Everyone here has the same story. They worked their way through school. They went to state college, and came right back. All the men work 9-5, and all the women bake cookies. Then, they all die. This is Nebraska. No one cares about Nebraska. MILES The people in Nebraska care about Nebraska. DEVON (Pause) You're twenty-eight, right? MILES Yeah, so? DEVON So anywhere else you'd be out having a good time. You'd sit in a trendy book store or a little coffee shop and reading. You'd have a college degree on the wall of your corner office. People would call you "Sir" while they served your iced lattes. They'd be terrified of you. But here.. Here, you spend half your life working and sleeping, and the other half wishing you had something to do besides work and sleep. I'm done with it. I'm done with parking lots and general stores. I'm sick to death of all this. (Pause.) This isn't reality! This is Stone Woods. MILES I like it here. DEVON You only like it because you won't admit that there's anything else out there. MILES No. Anywhere else, I'd never be able to sit down on the curb with my sister in the middle of the night and talk. We'd be locked up or mugged or something. Here may be nowhere, sure, but here is safe. People know me here. People care about me here. You won't find that in your city. DEVON I don't want that! I want people to look at and wonder about. I want to be wondered about. And twenty years from now, when all you people are sitting on your front porches, watching your kids chase fireflies, I'll be out on the town. And y'all will still be here, boring old nowhere here, wondering what happened to the youngest Baron girl. I don't want this Our Town crap. I want.. reality. MILES The only crap here is what you're saying. Just because you're afraid- DEVON I am not afraid! (MILES gets up and begins to walk away.) DEVON Where are you going? MILES Home. DEVON But- MILES Goodbye, Devon. DEVON Don't go.. MILES I thought you weren't afraid. DEVON Well.. maybe I am. Just a little.(Pause) Petrified. MILES Thanks. DEVON (Beat) What happens now? MILES Well, you're going to leave, and I'm going to go home. DEVON Miles? MILES Yes? DEVON (Opens her purse and pulls out a rag doll) Will you give this to Shana? MILES This? But this is- DEVON I know who it is. MILES Are you sure? DEVON Positive. MILES (Pause) Why am I giving Miss Wissa to Emily? DEVON So she won't forget me. MILES None of us will forget you. In twenty years, we'll be watching fireflies and thinking "What ever happened to the youngest Baron girl?" DEVON (Pause) Will you come to the city with me? To remind me to - MILES You know I can't. DEVON You're letting me go.. all alone? MILES I'd come if I could, Devon. You know that. But.. Anna needs me. DEVON Why? MILES I'm going to be a dad. (Pause) Don't tell anyone. DEVON I won't betray you. MILES Pinkie swear? (He holds out his pinkie finger, hooked slightly.) DEVON Miles! MILES Do it! (They hook pinkies.) DEVON I feel like an idiot, doing this. MILES Think of it as your last act of silliness before leaving nowhere. DEVON My last act? MILES That's the airport shuttle, isn't it? DEVON Oh... well, then I guess this is goodbye, Miles. (The shuttle horn honks.) MILES I guess so. DEVON I'll write. MILES I'll make my kids catch fireflies for you! DEVON I'll invite you out to see me often! (pause) Well, then.. goodbye, Miles! (Exit) MILES Goodbye. (A tear appears at the corner of his eye. He looks down at the rag doll in his hand, and tucks it into his pocket. He pulls out the thesaurus, and opens it to 'good-bye'.) Farewell. So Long. Godspeed. Valediction. Adieu. Adios. Caio. Sayonara. Auf Wiedersehen. (Pause.) Farewell. (MILES closes the thesaurus and puts it back in his coat pocket. Exit.)