Notes: The song was written by C. Ohme.  I’m no lyricist.  I’ve never actually tried, but why bother when she can do it so well? ;)  Again, thanks to M, S and C for helping me out.  Girls, you’re awesome!

 

PART 3

 

 

“Dude, C, you’re on the front page of the paper!”

 

JC looked up from the TV screen where Memento was playing.  “Huh?”

 

“Well, not the front page front page, but the front page of USA Weekend.”  Justin handed JC the news magazine and, sure enough, there was JC.  And Jocelyn.  Dancing.

 

“What the hell?”  JC paused his movie.  “There weren’t supposed to be media there.  And if there were, they should have asked Jocelyn’s permission to print this!  How did they even know her name?”

 

“I dunno, man.  But how come you get to be in the paper?  The article’s about what famous people are doing for the holidays.  We’re famous people.”  Justin stuck his lower lip out in a pout.

 

“I can’t believe they put a picture of Joss in here.”  JC ran his hands through his hair.  “I wonder if she’s seen it yet.  Man.  I gotta call her.”

 

He stood up, the movie momentarily forgotten.  He dialed her number and was greeted with the answering machine.  He looked at his watch.  Five o’clock.  But it was only four o’clock in Minnesota.  Damn.  It was Monday, so she was still at work.  “Hey Joss, it’s JC.  Um… I don’t know if you’ve seen yesterday’s paper, but… I don’t know.  I guess… I’ll try to give you a call in an hour or so…  Bye.”  He hung up, leaning against the wall, hand to his forehead. 

 

Jocelyn looked at the clock in the corner of her computer screen.  Again.  For the thirty-second time in the last fourteen minutes.  Sad.  There were fifty-four minutes remaining in her workday.  So many things were flying through her mind that she couldn’t possibly be asked to concentrate on typing up meeting minutes.  She chewed the inside of her cheek.

 

Images of the previous weekend wouldn’t stop invading her thoughts.  She felt like a high schooler with a crush.  She had almost written out “Jocelyn Chasez,” just to see what it looked like.  She had now officially been in the presence of one Mr. Joshua Chasez for a grand total of approximately seventy-eight hours.  Was seventy-eight hours enough time to justify spending an entire day replaying past events?  She didn’t really think so.  But if she factored in the time span of everything, including emails and phone calls, perhaps that was long enough.  Either way, she got all fluttery thinking about it.  And she had to consciously relax her cheeks.  They kept wanting to spring back into a silly smile.

 

On top of all the JC nonsense she had sloshing around in her brain, Jocelyn couldn’t put Kevin’s answering machine message out of her mind.

 

Should she call him or shouldn’t she?  Did she want to talk to the man who had deserted her, left her to struggle to make ends meet?

 

He was the father of her child, however.

 

Jeez, could the day go any more slowly?  Forty-nine minutes left.

 

She shook her head, clearing her mind.  Type.  Must type meeting minutes.

 

Forty-six minutes.

 

Phone.  “Good afternoon, Edwards, Dalton and Hays, this is Jocelyn, how may I help you? … One moment.”  Forty-five minutes.

 

She sighed.  Ran her hands through her hair.  Wanted to bang her head on her keyboard, but thought better of it.  She closed her eyes.  JC’s face filled her vision.  Happy and smiling, holding up the camera to snap her picture with Claire on the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier in Chicago.  Okay, that thought could get her through the next forty-two minutes.

 

Jocelyn breathed a sigh of relief when her screen read “4:59 PM.”  She shut down the computer and put the phone on night ring.  She said good-bye to the people in her immediate area of the office and headed out to the car. 

 

This was a Carolyn day.  Carolyn Keller had been her best friend since she could remember.  They had become friends because their names both ended in “lyn,” and they’d thought that was pretty neat as six-year-olds.  Carolyn had been away at school until the previous May.  They’d kept in touch as much as possible over the four years, but had really become reacquainted since Carolyn’s return to Minneapolis.  Jocelyn felt that it would be a good day to invite Carolyn over for dinner.

 

As she drove towards Claire’s preschool, she began planning what to make for dinner.  She had green and red peppers and chicken and cheese and tortillas.  She could make quesadillas and Spanish rice.  She pulled her ’95 Honda Civic into the parking lot of Happy House Learning Center and cut the engine.

 

Happy House was both a preschool as well as a daycare, and all the children from three years old up were seated in the Quiet Circle either reading, drawing, playing a game, or sitting silently.  There was no talking allowed, and Jocelyn always found it amazing that they could get thirty or forty children to all sit without making any noise.  The younger children, those aged six weeks through two years, were in their respective classrooms, since they wouldn’t be able to stay quiet.

 

Claire saw her mother and stood up, taking the picture she had been coloring with her.  She hurried to Jocelyn and threw her arms around her mother’s neck.

 

“Did you have a good day?” Jocelyn asked.  Claire grinned and nodded, showing Jocelyn the picture she had drawn. 

 

“It’s JC,” she said, pointing to the letters “JC” she had written in crayon under what was obviously a dark-haired man with a big smile.  “He’s smiling cuz he was happy to see us,” she explained.  “I drew Justin and Chris and Lance and Joey and JC, too, at art time, but that one’s in my backpack.”

 

“Oh, Claire, that’s wonderful.  You’ll have to show me the other one when we get home.”  Jocelyn wondered how many children Claire had told of her weekend, and how many of those children knew who *NSYNC were.  And how many of those children would have even believed Claire.  “You ready to go home?  I’m going to call Auntie Carolyn up to see if she wants to maybe come over for dinner.  How does that sound?”

 

“Sounds good!”

 

“Good.”

 

Carolyn did come over for dinner.  She was thrilled to see Jocelyn and Claire, and met them each with a big hug.  She handed Jocelyn a pan covered in aluminum foil.  “I made brownies last night.”  She shrugged.  “I must have known I’d need them!” She grinned.

 

Jocelyn finished making dinner while Claire sat at the table with Carolyn, telling her all about their weekend.  Jocelyn hadn’t told Carolyn exactly who she had been going to visit in Chicago.  She watched Carolyn’s reaction out of the corner of her eye.  Claire never said the word “NSYNC,” but Jocelyn could watch the realization dawning on Carolyn.

 

“…and we got to watch Atlantis in the hotel room, after we went swimming!  Me and Michaela loved swimming.  And then in the morning, Justin teached us a dance.  It goes like this.”  Claire climbed off her chair and started demonstrating the dance she had learned.  “Bye, bye, bye,” she sang along.  Jocelyn and Carolyn suppressed their laughter and burst out into applause when Claire finished.

 

“Who taught you that?” Carolyn asked, still clapping.

 

“Justin.”

 

“Justin?”

 

“Justin.”

 

Jocelyn nodded in agreement.  Carolyn furrowed her brows.  Then raised one quizzically.  “You know that guy I told you I was going to see in Chicago?” Jocelyn started.

 

“Don’t you even tell me you’re dating Justin Timberlake.”

 

Jocelyn laughed.  “No, I won’t tell you that.”

 

“Thank good.  That boy drives me nuts sometimes.”  Carolyn shook her head.

 

“I wouldn’t say ‘dating,’ because I’ve only seen him twice, and it’s not Justin, it’s JC Chasez.  And Justin is a sweetheart.  He comes off pretty cocky, but he’s a real softie.”

 

Carolyn just stared at her.  Then she laughed out loud.  Claire started laughing, too.

 

“Oh, girl, you crack me up,” Carolyn said.  “Let’s eat, I’m starving.”  She stood up and grabbed a plate.  She started spooning rice onto her plate, and then looked at Jocelyn, who was just standing there looking at her.  “What?”  She stifled another giggle.

 

“Carolyn Marie Keller, have I ever lied to you?”

 

“Not to my knowledge, but do you really expect me to believe that the man you went to visit in Chicago this weekend was JC Whatsisname from Nsync?”

 

“No, but I wish you would.  I wish I had my pictures developed.”  Jocelyn sighed.  She hadn’t told a single soul about the weekend in August she’d spent tagging along with the guys on one of their tour stops.  She hadn’t told anyone about the phone calls or emails, and she’d been very cryptic when telling people at work or Carolyn what exactly she had been up to this past weekend.  “Claire and I had a little run-in with their tour bus in August.  At that point I didn’t even know who *NSYNC was.”

 

Carolyn raised her eyebrow at Jocelyn once more.  She sat down at the table again, though.  Ready to listen, however skeptical she was feeling.

 

Jocelyn told the whole story in a shortened and condensed version from boarding the bus, to emails, through leaving Chicago, leaving out the part about how she had acquired her current apartment.  That part sounded a little too far-fetched, even for such an extraordinary story.

 

Carolyn’s look was unreadable.  “Ookay…”

 

Jocelyn could see that all of this was a little too much for Carolyn to take in at the moment.  She herself wouldn’t have believed it if Carolyn had told her the very same tale.  She laughed.  “It’s okay, you don’t have to believe me.  Let’s eat.”  She got a plate for Claire and put half of a quesadilla, cutting it up into smaller pieces, and a small scoop of rice on it.  “Water or milk?” she asked Claire.

 

“Milk.  Can I have chocolate?”

 

“Nope, white.”

 

“’Kay.”

 

“What would you like to drink?” Jocelyn asked Carolyn.

 

“Coke’s good.”

 

Jocelyn got a Coke for Carolyn and a Diet Coke for herself and poured them over ice while Carolyn got the rest of her dinner.  Jocelyn served herself a quesadilla and rice and joined the other two at the table.

 

“Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub, yay god,” Claire recited, giggling.  Jocelyn gave her a bemused-but-disapproving look.

 

The three girls were in the living room playing Monopoly, Jr. when the phone rang.  Jocelyn stood to answer it.  Carolyn watched Jocelyn’s expression brighten immediately.  Jocelyn threw a glance back at her friend and daughter before moving into the kitchen.

 

“How are you?” she asked, unable to help the grin that had spread across her face.  She was getting used to the fun, bubbly feeling she got in her stomach whenever she thought about him or heard his voice.

 

“I’m doing alright.  Did you, by any chance, get yesterday’s paper?”  He sounded worried.

 

“Yes, but it’s still in its plastic.  I haven’t read it.  Why?”  Her stomach dropped a bit, anticipating what must be bad news, judging by his voice.

 

“Somehow, somebody took a picture of us,” JC said slowly.  “It’s in USA Weekend.”

 

Jocelyn thought about what he had just told her.  “Does it look bad?  Is it going to hurt your image or reputation or anything?”

 

“No, I don’t think it matters for me, but they didn’t even ask you.  They had no right to put your picture in the paper without your permission.”

 

Jocelyn smiled.  It was sweet of him to be concerned.  “No, they didn’t, but I can’t imagine it causing much damage to me.  I don’t know that many people anymore.  So as long as you’re okay with it, I’m okay with it.”

 

JC let out a sigh of relief.  Then he laughed.  Jocelyn joined him.  It was funny, really. 

 

“What’s so funny in there?” Carolyn called.

 

That made Jocelyn laugh even harder.  She could barely get the word “nothing” out.

 

“Well, then I guess we’re both okay,” JC said, catching his breath again.  “It sounds like you’ve got company, though, so I’ll let you go.”

 

“Thanks for being worried,” Jocelyn said sincerely. 

 

“That’s my job.  I’ll talk to you soon.”

 

“Bye.”  Jocelyn hung up the phone and went to rejoin the Monopoly game. 

 

“Who was that?” Carolyn asked.

 

“Actually, that was JC.”

 

“Wait, you’re telling me that you just had JC Whatsisname on the phone?”

 

“JC called?” Claire asked, pouting a little.  “I wanted to say hi.”

 

Carolyn looked at Claire, then at Jocelyn.  “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

 

“Yes, I’m serious.”  Jocelyn laughed.  “Actually, JC just informed me that my picture was in the paper.”  Jocelyn jumped up and grabbed Sunday’s paper, still wrapped in its plastic bag.  She shook the paper out and unfolded it, finding USA Weekend.  “Wow, yup.  That sure is me.”  She laughed again.  “At least it was a good picture!”

 

Carolyn and Claire peered over Jocelyn’s shoulder.  “That’s you, Mommy?”

 

“That really is you.  And that really is JC.  And you guys look good!  I can’t believe it.  Wow.  My best friend, rubbing elbows, and a little bit more, from the looks of this picture, with an honest to goodness celebrity.  Wow.” 

 

Jocelyn felt so much better now that she had told someone, and that someone had actually believed her.  It was like a weight was lifted from her shoulders.  She’d been bursting to share her excitement with someone, anyone.

 

“So, wait.  You were, like, his date to this thing?”  Carolyn was reading the article, which, in all actuality, just had a few sentences about the guys of *NSYNC having attended a holiday function.

 

“Something like that.  Claire and I spent the day with all five of the guys on Saturday, then I went to the party, and then JC, Claire and I went sightseeing again yesterday morning.”

 

“Wow,” Carolyn said again.  “Wow.”

 

“They’re real nice,” Claire said.  “All of ‘em.  But can we play?  I’m winning.”

 

Carolyn and Jocelyn laughed and let Claire take her turn.

 

The phone rang again.  Jocelyn sighed and went to answer it.  She had left the phone in the kitchen.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi Jocelyn.”

 

Jocelyn froze.  Her entire body went stiff and cold.  She almost dropped the phone.  She’d known he would call again, but so soon?

 

“Hi, Kevin.”

 

“How’s it going?”

 

Jocelyn gritted her teeth.  “Things are going really well, actually.  How are you?”

 

“I’m good.  I graduated in May.  I’m back in Minneapolis now.  Got my degree in finance and I got a job with First National Bank, actually.  So I’ve been there about seven months, and I love it.  The people are great, the pay’s good—really good.”

 

“Was this phone call just so you could brag about how good your life is going right now?” Jocelyn interrupted.  “Because if you want me to, I could do the same.  I could tell you that I’m working for a law firm, I have my own apartment, I’m going to school, and Claire goes to an excellent preschool.  Is that what you wanted to hear?  Or did you want to hear that we were still in that hole-in-the-wall apartment living on peanut butter sandwiches?  That I was struggling to hold down a job and take care of my daughter at the same time?  Tell me which version you prefer, and I’d be happy to elaborate.” Her head was pounding and she was fuming.  How dare he call her up just to rub in her face how successful he was?

 

“Whoa, Joss, I was just calling to say hi.  I wanted to give you a call right when I got back into town, but I didn’t know where to get a hold of you.  I finally gave your parents a call last week, and they gave me your number.”

 

“I’m surprised they had my number,” Jocelyn muttered.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.  Listen, Kevin, Carolyn’s here—”

 

“Carolyn Keller?  Wow, I haven’t heard from her in years!  How’s she doing?”

 

“She’s fine, but she’s also sitting in the living room playing Monopoly with Claire without me—”

 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.  Claire.  I realize that I haven’t been much help these past couple years, but I needed to get my degree so that I could be a better father to her—”

 

“You know what?  She needed you these past four years, and you weren’t there.  If you wanted to be a better father, you’d have stuck around.  You wouldn’t—”  Jocelyn was searing. 

 

“Jocelyn, calm down.”  He spoke completely calmly.  “I didn’t call to pick a fight with you.  I called because I really wanted to see you and Claire.  I realize I have made some mistakes in the past, and there’s no excuse for them and no making up for them.  But I’d like to be around now, to be a part of Claire’s life now.  Please, Joss, I want to know my daughter.”

 

Jocelyn didn’t know what to say.  She could feel tears burning at the back of her eyes, but she refused to let herself cry.  She hadn’t cried for herself once in the last five years, and she was not going to start now.  “Well, Kevin, I don’t know what you want from me, but right now my daughter is sitting in the living room with my best friend, and they’re waiting for me.  I’m going to hang up.”

 

“Fair enough,” Kevin said.  “Maybe we can get together for lunch or dinner one day this week and talk.”

 

“I’m hanging up.”  Jocelyn clicked the phone off and set it on the table.  She leaned her elbow on the table and rested her head in her hand, running her fingers through her hair.  She took a deep breath and let it out, blinking away whatever tears had been threatening to spill.  She took one more deep breath, fixed her hair, and put on a cheerful smile.  She hurried back into the living room and lay on her stomach in front of the board game.  “What’d I miss?”

 

Claire went to bed reluctantly at 7:30.  She actually got to sleep closer to eight o’clock, since she had spent about ten minutes wanting to say good-night to Carolyn, and another five minutes picking out a book to look through.  And then she’d looked through the book by the light of her nightlight until her eyes refused to stay open any longer, no matter how hard she fought.

 

Carolyn was still there.  Jocelyn was grateful.  She dropped onto the couch next to her longtime friend and sighed. 

 

“Are you okay?” Carolyn asked, looking concerned.  She was pulling her cinnamon hair up into a ponytail.

 

“Yeah…” Jocelyn rubbed her temples.  “Kevin called.”

 

“Kevin?”

 

“Yeah, he wants to see Claire.”

 

“Kevin Kevin?”

 

“Yes, Kevin DeLuca.  I don’t know if I want him to see Claire.”

 

“He is her father,” Carolyn said logically.

 

“I know that.”

 

“But he did disappear for most of her life.”

 

“Know that, too.”  Jocelyn dropped her hands into her lap and sighed.  “See my dilemma?  I never said a bad word about Kevin to Claire.  Not once.  When she’d ask if she could see her daddy, I always told her someday, maybe she would.  But ‘someday’ is coming a little sooner than I’m comfortable with.”

 

Carolyn put a hand on Jocelyn’s arm.  Jocelyn forced a smile.  “It just kinda makes me sick to think that he could walk out on us like that.  I think I put it out of my mind at the time, maybe told myself it was my fault, or something.  I didn’t have time to think about it, I only had time to do whatever it took to make sure we’d make it through the month, ya know?”

 

Carolyn nodded, not really sure what to say.  “What are you going to do?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Hey, C, you gonna come get some eats?”  Justin spoke into the microphone that lead to the recording room.  He was plastered up against the glass.

 

JC looked up, headphones on.  He nodded and held up his index finger. 

 

“What the heck is he doing in there?” Chris asked, plopping onto the couch.  “He’s been in there for hours.”

 

“I dunno, man, but whatever it is, he’s really into it.”

 

“If you must know,” JC said, coming through the door, “it’s a new song I’ve been working on.  And that’s all I’m going to tell you for now.”  He smiled slyly.  “Let’s eat.”

 

“Let’s go, boys,” Chris said, poking his head around the doorway into an office where Lance and Joey were going over some paperwork.

 

The group headed towards the Orlando Ale House.

 

The Ale House was loud and crowded.  Large TVs displayed a number of different sporting events, and music pounded over it all.  The guys waved to a familiar waiter and followed a waitress past the bar, dodging a cue stick at one of the pool tables, towards a table near the back. 

 

“Anyone got some quarters for the juke box?” Justin asked.

 

“Not for you.  Your taste in music sucks,” Chris said.

 

At that point, a waitress strolled up to their table, the towel tucked into the back of her pants swishing as she moved.  She smiled at them.

 

“Can I start you boys off with any appetizers or drinks?” she asked.

 

“Zingers,” Chris and Joey said together.  Joey licked his lips in anticipation of the buffalo wings.

 

The waitress took down their drink orders as well, and sauntered off again.

 

“So, who’s doing what for Christmas?” Lance asked, leaning his elbows on the table and looking around at each of them.

 

“Goin’ home,” JC said, smiling.  “Can’t wait to see my family.”

 

“You just saw them two weeks ago,” Chris reminded him.

 

“Yeah, and I get to see them again.  You don’t know what it’s like, man, your family lives here!”

 

“Yeah, it sucks to not have family around, especially during the holidays,” Lance agreed.  “I’m going home, too.”

 

“You gonna see Michelle?” Justin asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Maybe.”  Lance smiled.

 

“Ya know, Jocelyn has no family to spend Christmas with,” JC said, not really paying attention to the rest of the conversation.  “I was just thinking about how much that must suck.”

 

“Yeah, it really would,” Justin agreed. 

 

“Doesn’t she have grandparents or anything?  Or are they as cold to her as her parents seem to be?” Joey asked.

 

“Actually, I think her grandparents live in Florida somewhere.  Tampa, maybe.”  JC tried to think back to past conversations.  “Ah well.  I’ll have to give her a call on Christmas.”

 

“Oo, calling her on Christmas Day,” Chris said, a twinkle in his eye.  “That sounds serious.”

 

“I like her,” JC said defensively.

 

“I like her kid,” Justin said.

 

“And Claire,” JC agreed.

 

“I like her dog,” Chris said.

 

Their sodas and buffalo wings arrived, and the waitress took their dinner orders.

 

Jocelyn stepped out of her car and straightened her pants.  She pulled her pea coat tighter around her and brushed her light brown hair away from her face.  She took a deep breath and walked with purpose towards the restaurant. 

 

“I’m looking for Kevin DeLuca,” Jocelyn said to the man at the host station.  He nodded and ushered her to a table in the center of the room.  Kevin was already seated, sipping a glass of white wine.

 

“Jocelyn,” he said, standing politely.  He sat when she did.

 

“Hi, Kevin.” 

 

“Wine?” he asked, motioning to the bottle.

 

“No, thank you.”  She preferred red wine, and also wanted to be of as sound mind as possible throughout this entire ordeal.  She couldn’t believe how tense and nervous she was over seeing Kevin.  Seeing him again brought back all kinds of emotions.  She almost felt like she was on stage, set to perform in front of all her peers, and she’d forgotten her lines.  This was her first love.  The first boy she had ever kissed.  She had been with him for almost five years.  She’d had plans to marry him when they got out of college.  And he’d left her.  Was that forgivable? 

 

They chatted for a few minutes before the waitress came to take their order.  Jocelyn hated small talk. She hated being polite for the sake of being polite.  She was bitter.  And hurt.  No one had hurt her more than Kevin had.

 

“So, how is Claire?” Kevin asked.

 

Jocelyn tensed up at the mention of her daughter’s name.  “She’s doing well.”

 

“Come on, Jocelyn, do I have to pump you for information on our daughter?”

 

Jocelyn’s breath caught in her throat.  Our daughter.  He’d given up the rights to that title when he’d walked out the door so many years ago.

 

Kevin could see the muscles in her jaw clenching.  “I really want to be part of Claire’s life,” he said, reaching across the table and touching her hand.  She flinched.  “To have Claire as part of my life.”

 

“Why now?”  It was all she could utter.

 

“I’ve grown up a lot in the past few years.”  He looked around.  “I—I met someone.  I wasn’t sure how to tell you, because I didn’t know what you were thinking about our meeting—”

 

“What, that I would want you to come crawling back to me?  You should be so lucky.” 

 

“No need to get angry.  Her name is Amy.  I met her at school, and we’re engaged.”

 

“Congratulations.”  Jocelyn spoke through a tight jaw.  She wished this dinner would be over.  Now.  She glanced around at all the happy families chatting casually over plates of delicious-looking food.  She’d completely lost her appetite.

 

“Thank you.”  Kevin smiled and Jocelyn wanted to throw her napkin at him and just walk out of the restaurant.  She should have ordered something really expensive.  Filet mignon, or something.  “Amy said something that made sense to me.  She said that if I walked out on Claire, what kind of father would I be to our children?”

 

Jocelyn’s lips parted in disbelief.  “You know what, Kevin?  Fuck you.  I don’t know why I thought that you might actually want to be a part of Claire’s life because she’s a really neat kid.  Because you helped make her and you wanted to make things up to her.  You’re only doing this for selfish reasons, because some little tramp you picked up at college is afraid you’re going to knock her up and leave her, too.  I’m sorry, Kevin.  Have a merry Christmas.”

 

Kevin looked hurt.  She got up and dropped her napkin onto the table.

 

“Jocelyn, wait.  It’s not like that—”

 

Jocelyn didn’t look back as she walked out of the restaurant.  She felt her blood boiling and if she could have been seeing red, she would have been.  Their food hadn’t even arrived yet.

 

“I can’t believe I’m sitting here on Christmas Eve-Eve, staring at my Christmas tree with my best friend and knowing that this is the most company I’m going to have this holiday.”  Jocelyn laughed and took a sip of her hot chocolate, capturing a mini marshmallow in the process.  Times like this made her happy.  She was comfortable. 

 

Carolyn glanced sideways at Jocelyn and hid her smile by taking a sip of her chocolate as well.

 

Claire had been put to bed a half hour earlier after a tag-team reading of The Polar Bear Express by Jocelyn and Carolyn.  Jocelyn was so glad that she and Carolyn had become as close again now as they had been all throughout their school years. 

 

“The tree’s really pretty, isn’t it?” Jocelyn commented, admiring the ornaments and twinkling colored lights that shed a warm glow onto an otherwise dark room.  It was snowing outside, and Jocelyn hoped the light flurries would last through tomorrow and maybe even into Christmas Day.

 

Just then there was a knock on the door.  Jocelyn’s eyebrows knitted and she looked at her watch.  8:17.  Who was coming over at eight at night on the night before Christmas Eve?

 

She looked at Carolyn and Carolyn shrugged, sipping her chocolate again, her eyes twinkling over the cup.  Jocelyn stood and went to the door.  She peered through the peephole and yanked the door open when she saw who was out there.

 

“Oh my GOD!  What are you doing here?!”  Jocelyn couldn’t believe her eyes. 

 

“I came to kidnap you.”

 

“What?”

 

“You heard me right.  I think your bag as been packed, my lady.  It’s time to come with me.  We can do it nicely, or I can use the Bat-rope I have tucked into my Bat-watch.”  He puffed his chest out, fists planted firmly on his hips.

 

Jocelyn looked between the man at her door and her best friend in disbelief. 

 

“You gonna let me in, or what?  This kidnapper’s ass is freezing off!”  Jocelyn opened the door wider, letting Chris into her apartment.  He stomped his feet on the doormat and shook his head like a dog to let the snow fall from his hair.  “Brrrr.  I’ve forgotten what it’s like to survive in the arctic.  So you’re Carolyn, huh?”  Chris looked Carolyn up and down.

 

“The one and only,” Carolyn said with a smile, tipping her head to one side.  “Nice to meet you, Chris Kirkpatrick.”  She held out her hand and he shook it.

 

“Are you guys going to tell me what’s going on?” Jocelyn asked, still bewildered. 

 

“You’re coming to Florida with me.  You’re going to spend your holiday with your family,” Chris said, grinning proudly.

 

Carolyn retreated into Jocelyn’s bedroom and returned with a suitcase, all packed and ready to go.  “I packed while you were making dinner,” she said, patting the suitcase.  She got Jocelyn’s and Claire’s coats from the closet and handed Jocelyn hers.  She went with Claire’s into Claire’s bedroom and emerged a moment later with a bundled and sleeping child clinging to her neck.

 

Carolyn handed Claire to Jocelyn without waking her.  She put on her own coat, turned off the Christmas tree, and took the suitcase.

 

Jocelyn had a look of disbelief plastered across her face as she followed her two friends almost numbly. 

 

“I’m glad I can put a face to the name, finally.  Thanks for helping me out!” Chris said to Carolyn in a moment of sincerity.

 

“It was my pleasure.”  Carolyn grinned a silly grin and put the suitcase in the trunk of the car.

 

“Well…” Chris held out his hand and Carolyn took it and shook.  “Thanks, partner!  Have a great holiday.”

 

“Merry Christmas.  And merry Christmas to you!”  Carolyn embraced Jocelyn, who had just finished seat-belting Claire into the back seat.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Jocelyn replied, still in a state of shock.  “Say hi to your family for me.”

 

“I will.  And I’ll even take care of your dog, that’s how great of a friend I am.  Have fun, girl.”  Carolyn squeezed Jocelyn one last time, waved at Chris, and headed to her own car.

 

Jocelyn got into the passenger side and Chris got behind the wheel.

 

“So what on earth possessed you to fly to Minnesota, kidnap us, and take us to… where are we going?”

 

“Florida.”

 

“To spend Christmas with you?”

 

“No, to spend Christmas with your grandparents.”  Chris smiled like a small child who had just accomplished something extraordinarily praiseworthy.  He grinned at her.

 

Jocelyn’s mouth dropped open.  “You’re taking me to see my grandparents?  But… why?”

 

“Well, our dear JC was worried about you being alone for the holidays.  He knew you missed your grandparents, so Lance, Joey, Justin and I did a little snooping around, as usual, and here we are!  We thought you might want to come to a little New Year’s show we’re putting on, too.  But JC doesn’t know, so… shhhhh.”

 

“Wait a minute.  I don’t mean to throw a wrench into your plans, but I have to work.”

 

“Almighty Chris has taken care of that.”

 

“How?”

 

“I have minions in strategic locations.”

 

Jocelyn laughed.  “No, seriously.  How did ‘Almighty Chris’ manage to get me out of my job?”

 

“Oh, you wanted to know details.  Right.”  Chris took a deep breath and dove right into the story.  “You see, for some really weird reason, JC has become kind of attached to you and Claire.  No one can figure out why, exactly.  It’s this weird phenomenon.  So because of this strange pull you seem to have on him, he tends to talk about you a lot.  And, of course, for perhaps the same strange reason, we like you guys, too, so we don’t mind listening.  Anyway, he got to talking one day about how you’d be all alone on Christmas, and stuff… yeah, that part you’ve got.”

 

Jocelyn laughed.  She wasn’t following Chris’s sequence of events at all.

 

“Anyway, in one of JC’s random musings, he happened to mention these grandparents you have in Tampa.  Lance and I tried to track them down, but it turns out they’re your mother’s parents.  That makes it difficult.  Can’t track them down by last name or anything like that, ‘cause that would be too easy.  And we can’t have that.  What would become of Murphy’s law then?  Anyway, so Joey, bless his Italian head, remembered JC saying that some girl at your office took over the phone for you at lunch, so he called while you were away.  Real nice girl.  He talked her into finding the phone number of someone who knew you really well, and that turned out to be Carolyn.  But that’s not all!  He also got this Julia girl, the one who answers the phones, to talk to your boss and get you the week off.  The master of sweet-talking, I say!  Apparently the folks at your office kinda like you, too.  And they’re real good at keeping a secret.  So I won the coin toss and got to call Carolyn, and she pretty much arranged everything on your end.  Lance got a hold of your grandparents, so you’re not gonna, like, freak them out or anything when you show up at their doorstep.  And Justin probably performed a sexual favor to get this pilot friend of ours into making this trip for us.  And there ya have it!”  Chris leaned back in his seat, obviously extremely pleased with himself and proud of the outcome.

 

Jocelyn was speechless.  “Wow.” 

 

“That’s all you have to say?  ‘Wow’?  Damn, I thought I’d at least get a ‘This is incredible of you, I’m really impressed, and I will worship Christopher Kirkpatrick for the rest of my living days’.”

 

“This is incredible of you.  I’m really impressed.”  Jocelyn grinned.

 

“And…”

 

“And…”

 

“And I will…” Jocelyn joined him for “worship Christopher Kirkpatrick for the rest of my living days.”

 

“There ya go,” Chris said, approvingly.

 

Jocelyn laughed.

 

“So you’re really taking us to Grams’ and Gramps’ for Christmas?”

 

Chris rolled his eyes in mock frustration.  “Did it not sink in?”  He reached over and knocked on the top of her head.  “Did the Sugarplum Fairy dust clog your brain?”

 

Jocelyn was struggling to process it all.  “This was a really big production,” she commented, watching the tiny snowflakes rush by their window as they drove.  They were melting on contact with the windshield and being swept away periodically by the windshield wipers.

 

“Yup, and I was the lucky one to come get you because I wanted to see snow for Christmas.  That, and just about everyone else won’t be in Orlando as of tomorrow.”  Chris grinned.  “Lance is going back to Mississippi, Justin’s going to his grandma’s in Tennessee, JC left for his grandparents’ house in Maryland tonight… Joey’ll be around, I think, but my mom and sisters are in Orlando, which, by the way, is only about an hour and a half from Tampa, so… yup.  You got stuck with me as the kidnapper.”  He grinned again.  He was full of grins tonight.  Evidence of his intense pride in having pulled the whole thing off.

 

The three arrived in Orlando via private jet just after one in the morning.  Claire had slept through the whole thing.  She’d woken up a few times to gaze sleepily around, ask what was going on, and go back to sleep without really hearing the answer.

 

“I’m going to take you girls back to my place for the rest of the night,” Chris said as he took Claire from a tired-looking Jocelyn and led them towards his car.  “Then we’ll make the drive to Tampa tomorrow morning.  This morning. It’s Christmas Eve!”

 

“Sure is.”  Jocelyn smiled.  “That sounds fine to me,” she said, covering a yawn.

 

They arrived at Chris’s place and he insisted Jocelyn and Claire take his bed; he’d take the couch.  Jocelyn protested, but she was too tired to stand up to his stubbornness.  She finally gave in, crawling into bed with Claire while Chris fluffed a pillow for himself out in the living room.

 

Jocelyn couldn’t help the excitement that was bubbling in her stomach.  She’d gotten up early to make sure Claire looked her prettiest.  Grams and Gramps had received pictures of Claire, but they hadn’t seen her in over two years, and little girls tend to grow up quite a bit in such a time span.  She could tell that Claire was drawing off Jocelyn’s own excitement and was looking forward to seeing the people she’d spoken with on the phone so many times, but didn’t remember meeting when she was barely out of diapers.

 

Jocelyn hadn’t been in Florida since she was small, so she soaked in everything she could during the hour and a half drive.  She was almost giddy on excitement.  She didn’t even care that it seemed that every single bad driver had flocked to Orlando, the tourist Mecca of the Western Hemisphere.  The wind coming through the window of Chris’s car was warm and played with Jocelyn’s hair.  She was amazed that it could be in the sixties in December.  The grass flying by along the highway was still green and the sun was shining.  They passed a couple palm trees and Jocelyn couldn’t help but grin.  She laughed out loud, though, when they drove by an orange grove, complete with orange-less, leaf-less trees.

 

“Trees lose their leaves?  It’s so warm!”

 

“Yeah, they change colors and stuff.  It’s cool for Florida, you know.  Happens later in the year, though,” Chris explained. 

 

“Look, Mom!”  Claire pointed from the back seat at an airplane on the side of the road.  “An airplane like ours!  Did it land there?”

 

“I think it’s supposed to be there,” Jocelyn said, leaning back around her seat a little.

 

“Look, Mom!  A dinosaur!”  Claire pointed again.  “Is it real?”

 

Jocelyn laughed.  “No, I don’t think so.”  She smiled.

 

As they drove further west on I-4 they started to get into more settled and urbanized areas.  Jocelyn began seeing signs for Tampa and pulled out the map. 

“Get off on Orange Avenue,” Jocelyn instructed.  “You’re going to take Cass to Howard…. Then to Swann.  They live on Swann.”  Chris nodded, concentrating on street signs.

 

“You know which one is theirs?” Chris asked.

 

“There, that one.  The pink building is theirs.”  Jocelyn pointed.  Even though this was Florida and pink was not a terribly unusual color for a building, she’d never forget being brought here as a child to discover her grandparents’ condo was the color of a flamingo.

 

Claire giggled.  “Grammy and Grampy live in a pink house?” she asked, giggling again.

 

Chris pulled into the small parking lot.  “Alright, girls, you’ve got my number.  As the plan stands, I’ll pick you up on Friday.  If you want that changed, give me a call.”

 

Jocelyn grinned at Chris.  She couldn’t believe he’d gone so incredibly out of his way for her.  They both got out of the car.  She ran over to him and threw her arms around him, her cheek pressed against the stubble he hadn’t bothered to shave that morning.  “Thank you, Chris.” 

 

He held her tightly.  “Anytime, girl.”  He smiled against her cheek and she pulled away a little.

 

“Sandpaper,” she said with a wink, and kissed his cheek.  She squeezed him once more before stepping back.  “Alright.  We ready?”  She was speaking to Claire.

 

“Ready, Freddy!”

 

Chris offered Claire their traditional low-five and pulled his hand away before she could slap it.  She dissolved into giggles, as per usual, and he lifted her up, giving her a quick hug.

 

“You girls take care of yourselves.  And enjoy Tampa!”

 

Claire and Jocelyn waved as Chris pulled back onto Swann Avenue.  Jocelyn took Claire’s hand and the suitcase and they walked up to the cotton candy-colored building.  Before they got to the building, a door opened and two seventy-somethings came bursting out.

 

“Jocelyn Elizabeth, my God!”  Grams hurried at Jocelyn and engulfed her in a hug.

 

“Hi, Grams!”

 

Tears pricked Jocelyn’s eyes when she saw that both her grandparents were fighting not to cry.  Gramps bear-hugged Jocelyn next.  Claire stood back, a little weary of these people she’d been too young to remember the last time she’d met them.

 

“Oh my gosh, Claire sweetheart, look at how big you are!”  Grams stooped down and opened her arms, and Claire hurried into them.

 

“Hi, Grammy.”

 

Grams picked Claire right up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  “Darling, you’re more beautiful than your pictures could ever show.  Oh, how I wish Grandpa and I could have made the trip up to Minnesota again, but with his knee and my shortness of breath, we just couldn’t sit in an airplane!”

 

Gramps draped his arm around Jocelyn’s shoulder and pulled her close to him as they walked towards the building.

 

Jocelyn’s three days at Grams and Gramps’ condo had gone by both extremely quickly and incredibly slowly.  She’d cherished every moment, but it seemed like she’d just arrived in Tampa minutes earlier, and here she was, about to head off to Orlando again. 

 

“Grams and Gramps, thank you SO much for everything!  This was the most wonderful Christmas in my entire life,” Jocelyn said sincerely, blinking back the tears that were stinging at the backs of her eyes.

 

“I’m so glad,” Grams said, folding Jocelyn into a warm embrace.  “I love you, sweetheart.  If you ever want to come visit or if you want to come and stay here for any length of time, you know you are more than welcome.  We have the extra room and we love seeing you.”  Grams didn’t want to let go of her granddaughter.  She kissed Jocelyn’s forehead, received one more squeeze, and stepped back.

 

“And you, my little jumping bean, give Grammy a hug.”  Claire slipped into her great-grandmother’s arms and held on tightly.  “Did you have a nice Christmas?”

 

“Yes.  When can we come back to see you?”

 

“I hope very soon.  We’ll have to talk your mother into it, alright?”  Grams winked at Claire and gave her a kiss.

 

“Thank you for everything, Gramps,” Jocelyn said, hugging her grandfather.

 

“Thank you for brightening OUR holiday,” he said in return, kissing her cheek. 

 

Just then the familiar red car that belonged to one Christopher Kirkpatrick pulled into the lot.  Jocelyn took a deep breath.  “Chris is here.  I’ll be in Orlando the rest of the week, I think.  I’m not sure what all Chris planned for us, but I would love it if you two could come up for dinner or the afternoon before Claire and I head back to Minnesota.”

 

“We’ll certainly try.  You give us a call when you know your plans,” Gramps told her.  Jocelyn nodded.  She gave each of her grandparents another quick hug and Claire did the same.  Chris stepped out of the car.

 

“Merry Christmas, everyone!” he exclaimed, coming over to them.  “Did you have a nice holiday?”  He was speaking to no one in particular.  All four of them nodded.

 

“Thank you so much for coordinating this, and thank your friend Lance, too,” Grams said.  “It means so much to us to have had the girls here for Christmas.”

 

“Aw, shucks.”  Chris grinned sheepishly and dug his toe into the white gravel of the parking lot.

 

“Oh!  I have leftovers for you to take!”  Grams threw her hands up into the air and hurried back towards the building.

 

Gramps chuckled.  “She can’t let anyone walk out the door without making sure they’ll be well fed for weeks to come.”

 

“Hey, home-cooked meals are always welcome around us,” Chris said.  “So, Little C, was Santa good to you?”

 

Claire’s eyes lit up and she nodded.  “I got an American Girl Doll!” she exclaimed, wiggling out of her backpack where the doll was situated, zipped up around the waist.

 

“Now what is her name?” Chris asked, stooping to Claire’s height.

 

“This is Kirsten.  She’s Swedish, like Grams.”  Claire petted the doll’s blond head and looped braids.  “And she looks like me.”  Claire grinned.

 

“That she does,” Chris agreed.  “She’s very pretty.”

 

“Yeah, and she came with a necklace, see?”  Claire squatted and set the backpack on the ground, struggling to find the amber heart necklace from around the doll’s neck.  “I got one, too!”  Claire pulled her own necklace from under her shirt and showed it proudly to Chris.”

 

“That is very pretty.  Very pretty indeed.”

 

Grams came hurrying from the building carrying two grocery bags.  “Here, I have turkey and dressing and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes…” She peered into one of the bags.  “And there’s that Jello dish I had, and some of the pecan pie, and I think I put some of the chocolate tort in there, also.  Oh, I don’t know, there’s a little of everything.”  She looked up and smiled, her eyes sparkling.

 

“Thank you, Grams.”  Jocelyn leaned over and kissed her, taking one of the bags.  Chris took the other.  They loaded up the car and everyone, including Chris, exchanged hugs once more before buckling in.

 

The drive back to Orlando was filled by a massive Christmas song sing along, even though Christmas was over.  Being with Grams and Gramps for the holidays had put Claire and Jocelyn more into the Christmas mood than they had ever been in the past.  And pulling out old Christmas carols had been a real treat, taking Jocelyn back to her church choir days.

 

As they neared Walt Disney World, Jocelyn began to feel the familiar knot of nervous excitement begin to roll in her stomach. 

 

“Dude, where is Chris?  He was supposed to be here forty minutes ago,” JC said, checking his watch for the millionth time. 

 

“Relax, C,” Justin said.  “He’ll be here.”

 

“We’ve got a lot of work to do,” JC said, protesting.  He stood and began pacing.

 

“Give him time.  We all just got back from our mini-breaks,” Lance reminded JC.

 

“Yeah, but Chris is the one who stayed in Orlando!  It was the rest of us who were out of town,” JC reminded Lance.  Lance and Justin exchanged looks behind JC’s back as JC paced away from them.  Joey concentrated on bouncing a high-bounce ball in the corner.

 

“Joey, you’re driving me nuts!” JC said.  He had too much energy and he wanted to get right to work rehearsing for their show.

 

“You should talk.  You’re going to wear out the floor,” Joey replied.  But he held onto the ball.

 

Finally the door to the rehearsal room opened and Chris burst through.

 

“So you finally decided to grace us with your presence, Kirkpatrick,” JC said.  “I was beginning to wonder—” He stopped dead in his tracks when Jocelyn shyly stepped through the door.  The grins on the faces of the rest of the guys could have lit up an entire stadium.  JC was speechless.

 

“Merry Christmas,” Jocelyn said, smiling softly. 

 

“Oh my god,” JC said, finally finding his voice.  He went to her, still in shock, and pulled her into his arms.  “What are you doing here?  HOW are you here?” 

 

Jocelyn laughed, feeling his warmth spread through her body.  She loved how JC hugged.  He didn’t do the “shoulder hug” so many people were fond of – when two people would lean in and hug at the shoulders while the rest of their bodies kept their distance – no, when JC hugged, he threw all of himself into it.  And he meant it.

 

“Your friends cooked up a wild plan,” Jocelyn told him, not wanting to let go.  Apparently JC didn’t, either, because they stood in each other’s arms longer than they needed to.  Finally Jocelyn stepped back, but JC’s hands remained on her upper arms, not wanting to let her too far from him.  “They brought Claire and me to see my Grams and Gramps for Christmas, and then to spend some time here in Orlando with you guys.”

 

JC’s hands slid down her arms until he was holding her hands.  “You got to spend Christmas with your grandparents?”  His blue eyes were huge and sparkling.  “Man, I wish I’d been a part of this!”

 

“That was half the fun,” Lance said, grinning.  “Surprising you, too.”

 

“Hey, Little C!” Justin exclaimed, noticing for the first time the little girl standing off to the side.

”Hi, Justin!”

 

“Slap me some skin,” Justin said, holding up his hand.  Claire went to him and high-fived him, grinning when he scooped her into a hug.

 

“So how long are you here for?” JC asked, swinging one of Jocelyn’s hands idly.

 

“I think Chris said the entire week.  I think I’m flying back on Saturday.”

 

“You get to spend the whole week here?”  JC’s face couldn’t have been brighter or happier.

 

“We done good,” Joey said, leaning over to Lance.  Lance nodded, satisfied.

 

Jocelyn and Claire spent the afternoon watching the boys rehearse for their New Years Eve show.  They clapped wildly after each song, even if it was less than perfect.  They burst into laughter when Justin completely forgot the dance and started doing his own thing off to the side.  Everyone had to stop for a breather and JC collapsed onto the couch beside Jocelyn.

 

“What do you think?” he asked, breathing heavily.

 

Jocelyn patted his stomach teasingly and nodded.  “If you all can remember the steps, you’ll be golden.”  She grinned.

 

“Thanks.”  JC smiled at her and then pushed off the couch, ready for more.  He jumped in place.  Joey rubbed his face and neck one last time with a towel and dropped it to the floor, hurrying into position.  Lance jogged over and got ready.  Justin took one last swig of his water and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, dropping the bottle back into his bag.  Chris pulled himself up off the floor, flexed his hands and joined them.  The music started and the moved through the entire dance perfectly, singing along softly, with zero mistakes.

 

Jocelyn and Claire burst into applause.  “Bravo!” Claire called excitedly.

 

By five thirty, everyone was exhausted and ready for dinner.  “Where are you staying?” JC asked Jocelyn.

 

Jocelyn turned to look at Chris.  Chris shrugged and looked at Lance.  Lance pretended not to notice and looked at the ceiling.  Justin busied himself with filling his bag, and Joey chased after his ball.

 

“I actually don’t know the answer to that,” Jocelyn said, laughing nervously.  She chewed her lower lip and looked to Chris for help, but Chris was concentrating on tying his shoe.

 

“Well, you can stay at my place,” JC offered hopefully, raising his eyebrows a little.

 

Jocelyn nodded.  “I’d like that.”  She smiled.

 

Jocelyn played Go Fish with Claire at JC’s kitchen table while JC showered and changed.  They were supposed to meet the rest of the crew at Pleasure Island’s Planet Hollywood for dinner.  Jocelyn noticed that the three pictures Claire had drawn that she’d sent in the mail were held up on JC’s refrigerator with magnets, along with the newspaper clipping of she and JC at the holiday party in Chicago a few weeks earlier.  She smiled and played a card.

 

JC stepped out of his bedroom smelling like soap and aftershave.  Jocelyn couldn’t help breathing in deeply.  She loved the smell of freshly cleaned men.  This one in particular.  JC’s skin still looked a little damp, and the slight curls of his hair were still shining with water.  “Hungry?” JC asked.  Claire nodded and put down her cards, climbing off the chair and hurrying after JC.  Jocelyn followed. 

 

The drive to the Disney property went quickly.  It was amazing how little traffic there was on the usually-packed I-4.  JC took the exit and headed towards Downtown Disney.  Claire stared out the window at the structure that flanked the road.  There was a large Mickey Mouse on the sign welcoming them onto Disney property.

 

“Do we get to meet Mickey?” Claire asked hopefully.

 

“Maybe tomorrow,” JC said, grinning.  “Tonight, we eat.  And perhaps we’ll celebrate New Years at PI after dinner.  It’s New Years every night,” he explained to Jocelyn.  She nodded in understanding.

 

They pulled into the parking lot for Disney’s Marketplace, which was attached to Pleasure Island.  The huge, white tent-like structure that was Cirque du Soleil stood at one end, and near it was the giant blue globe of Planet Hollywood.  “Maybe we’ll get to see Cirque while you’re here,” JC said casually.  “It’s an excellent show.  I think you both would like it.  It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen!”

 

“I’d like that,” Jocelyn said.  JC found a parking space and they got out of the car.  There was a line coming down the stairs and leading away from Planet Hollywood.  Claire slipped her hand into JC’s as they headed towards the sphere of the restaurant.

 

JC walked confidently up to the man taking names for seating.  The restaurant looked crowded.  Jocelyn stood back a little and watched JC talk, admiring the softness of JC’s lips, the blueness of his eyes, the way he held his well-toned but whisk-thin frame.  Her heart beat faster just looking at him.  She hadn’t gotten all fluttery over a man since—since Kevin.

 

A cold fear sank into Jocelyn’s heart as she thought of the dinner she hadn’t shared with Kevin only days earlier.  He wanted partial custody of Claire.  He wanted to take her away from Jocelyn for part of each month.  He and his quaint little girlfriend wanted to take Jocelyn’s daughter, just so they could feel better about themselves as potential parents.  Suddenly Jocelyn wasn’t hungry.  She’d put Kevin and their conversation out of her mind for a blissful couple of days, but now he was back and he’d turned her stomach to lead.

 

Jocelyn felt the urge to be as near to Claire as possible, so she hurried to JC’s side and took Claire’s other hand.

 

“Are you okay?” JC asked, concern flooding his eyes.

 

Jocelyn nodded.

 

“Right this way, folks,” the Planet Hollywood cast member said, leading them up the stairs and past the line of waiting patrons. 

 

A few people cast them dirty looks as they passed.  Others raised their eyebrows at the trio.  Jocelyn heard one young girl whisper to her sister, “I think that’s JC!  Do you think that’s JC?”

 

JC heard them, too, and turned to flash them as smile.

 

“Oh my god!” the girl said, grabbing her sister’s hand.  “That IS JC!”  She bounced up and down a little.  Her mother scowled at her and shook her head, not wanting her daughter to create a scene.

 

“That girl knows who you are,” Claire said, looking up at JC.  JC smiled at Claire and let go of her hand to ruffle her hair.  He smiled when her tiny hand slid back into his.

 

The trio joined the rest of the guys at their usual table.  Claire looked around her in awe.  The inside of the restaurant was packed with movie memorabilia and pictures of movie stars.  Although Claire had probably never seen a single film that was displayed, the pure busyness of the décor grabbed her attention immediately.

 

After dinner, Joey headed off to Universal’s City Walk to meet up with some friends.  Chris had promised to spend the evening with his oldest sister, as the holidays had been a hectic time for her and she was finally able to relax.  The remaining five headed towards Pleasure Island’s entrance gates. 

 

“Man, why’d they get rid of Wildhorse?” Lance asked no one in particular, speaking of the Western club that had been situated at the East end of the strip of shops and dance clubs.

 

“As long as they’ve still got 8 Trax, I’m happy,” Justin commented.

 

“Oh my god, can we get our picture with you?”  Three girls dressed for the club scene were suddenly surrounding Justin.  The looked like they were just barely old enough to get into Pleasure Island under the 18+ rule.  JC and Lance stepped back a little, just in case the girls didn’t bother to check out Justin’s company.  Justin flashed them a polite smile and nodded a little.  “I wish I had something for him to sign!” the girl said to her friend.

 

“Here, could you sign my ticket to PI?” the second girl asked, holding her ticket out.

 

“Got a pen?” Justin asked.

 

The three girls looked at each other, disappointed, silently begging each other with their eyes for one of them to have brought a pen.  “No,” the girl finally said, deflated.

 

“Me neither,” Justin said.  “But I’ll take a picture.”

 

“Here, could you take this?” the girl with the camera said to Jocelyn.  Jocelyn snapped the picture and handed the camera back.  The girl thanked her, and the three of them looked like they didn’t want to leave Justin’s presence.  “Well, have a good night.  Thanks!” she said to Justin.

 

“No problem.”  The girls walked away, throwing glances back Justin’s way.

 

“Now either they didn’t recognize us two, or they didn’t care,” Lance commented.

 

“Either way, I think I should be insulted,” JC said with a grin.  “We just can’t compete with Justin’s pretty-boy look.”  He nudged Justin’s arm with his elbow.

 

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”  Justin fluttered his eyelashes at JC.  Jocelyn laughed, and they continued towards the gates.  Jocelyn and JC were walking close enough together to keep bumping shoulders.

 

When they got to the gate, JC stepped forwards.  He knew the guy taking tickets and was able to get Claire in, even though after 7pm there were no children allowed.  “Thanks, man,” he said, clapping the ticket taker on the shoulder appreciatively.

 

It was almost nine o’clock.  They’d have three hours to kill before the nightly New Years celebration would occur.  A band was playing at the West End Stage, so they stopped to listen.  A few people were dancing; many were standing around and listening, talking to the people they were with.  Justin took Claire’s hands and started dancing.  Lance,  Jocelyn, and JC stood back to watch and chuckle.

 

Jocelyn pulled her camera out of her purse and snapped a couple pictures.  The crowd listening to the band was older, mostly in their thirties and forties.  No one paid the small group of twenty-somethings with the five-year-old much mind.  JC got a hold of the camera and started snapping random pictures of Jocelyn and Lance, Justin and Claire, and himself.  Then Lance grabbed the camera and nudged Jocelyn and JC together.  JC draped his arm across Jocelyn’s shoulder and they both grinned as the flash went off in their faces.  The song ended and Justin and Claire stopped dancing, trying to catch their breath between bouts of laughter.

They listened to the band and danced intermittently until their set ended around ten.  “Hey, wanna go play some carnival games?” Justin asked Claire.

 

“Yeah!”  Her eyes looked tired, but she wasn’t ready to give in and allow herself to be sleepy. 

 

They headed down the street towards the Midway.  It was dangerous territory, as a lot of younger people were down towards this end.  Justin and Claire were in front, Lance next, and JC and Jocelyn bringing up the rear.  Somehow they managed to make it all the way to the Midway without incident.  The game area was not particularly crowded.  They spent the hour trying their hands at darts or shooting hoops.  Lance won a plush Sorcerer’s Apprentice Mickey doll by popping a balloon with his dart, and he gave it to Claire.

 

Jocelyn was sure the game workers recognized the three guys, but no one made any indication as such.  She also knew that it was part of their jobs as Disney Cast Members to not so much as hint at recognition.

 

By eleven, Claire had had it.  Too much excitement for one day.  She was struggling to keep her eyes open, but she refused give up.  “Are you sleepy?” she asked Claire.

 

Claire shook her head violently.  “No.”  She spoke emphatically, but as she did so, she stifled a yawn.

 

Jocelyn reached down and picked Claire up, and no sooner had she done so than Claire’s arms were draped around her neck, Claire’s head on her shoulder.  She could feel Claire’s warm breath on her cheek and didn’t have to look to see that Claire had fallen asleep.  “Long day,” Jocelyn said with a smile.  “She’s usually in bed by eight at the latest.  She slept in the car on the way from Tampa, but it wasn’t enough.”

 

“Why don’t we sit,” JC offered, motioning to a bench a bit off the main drag.

 

“Wanna see if I can get into BET?” Justin asked Lance.  BET was one of the twenty-one-and-up clubs.

 

“Sure.”  Lance shrugged.  He was willing to go along with whatever.

 

“Meet us outside BET by the West End Stage in 45 minutes?” Justin said to JC.  JC nodded, and Lance and Justin disappeared into the now-crowded street.

 

“Wonder if they’ll make it over there in 45 minutes,” JC mused.  It was the Friday night after Christmas, and this week was probably Disney’s busiest week of the year.  He bet Justin would be recognized at least twelve times on the way to the dance club.

 

Jocelyn situated Claire so that she could see around her and Claire would still be comfortable.

 

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” JC said.

 

“I can’t believe I’m really here,” Jocelyn agreed.  “Quite a feat they pulled off.”

 

“Oh, thank you for the picture and frame,” JC said.  “Your Christmas present was in the mail.”

 

Jocelyn had spent an afternoon with Claire decoupaging picture frames with words and pictures she’d cut out of magazines that reminded them of each guy, but nothing having to do directly with any one of them or *NSYNC.  She’d put a picture Claire had drawn in each frame.  “You don’t have to leave her drawing in there… they’re actually for the photographs I sent, but Claire insisted I frame her Christmas presents to you guys, so I put that in there instead.”

 

“I like the picture,” JC said.  “She gives me a nice smile every time she draws me.”

 

“You have a nice smile.”

 

JC looked at Jocelyn, aware that their shoulders were touching.  “Thanks.  Yours isn’t bad, either.”  He leaned into her with his shoulder.

 

“So did you have a nice Christmas?”

 

“I did, indeed.  The whole family went to my grandparents’ house.  Aunts, uncles, everyone.  It was great to see people again.  I haven’t seen a lot of them in years.”

 

“Hmm.  What’s it like to be related to JC Chasez?” Jocelyn wondered out loud, looking up at the black sky twinkling with stars.

 

“Couldn’t tell you.  What’s it like to be related to Jocelyn Mitchell?”  He followed her gaze upwards.

 

Jocelyn laughed.  “I suppose I wouldn’t know the answer to that.  And I also suppose that would depend on who you ask.” 

 

They were silent for a while, both gazing at the cloudless night sky, breathing in the cool December air that still allowed them to sit on a bench at eleven at night without coats on.

 

“Kevin called me,” Jocelyn said, breaking the silence.  She tore her gaze from the sky and looked at JC.  He looked back at her, concern seeping into his eyes.

 

“Are you okay with that?  What did he want?”

 

Jocelyn took a deep breath and checked to make sure Claire was sleeping soundly.  “He actually wants partial custody of Claire.”  She felt a lump in her throat and tried to swallow it, but she couldn’t.  Her heart felt heavy when she thought back to her meeting with Kevin.  “I don’t know if I can do that.”  She spoke quietly, almost in a whisper.

 

“He wants to see Claire?”

 

Jocelyn nodded, eyes wide, trying once again to swallow the tightness in her throat unsuccessfully. 

 

“Does he want to… see you?”

 

Jocelyn shook her head slowly.  “He’s engaged to some girl he met at school.”  She sighed.  She didn’t know if it hurt her more that Kevin was trying to take Claire, or that he hadn’t loved her enough to stick it out through the hard times.  The realization that her first love was now getting married to another woman had come like a punch to the stomach.  It wasn’t that she still loved Kevin, or that she even wanted him in her life at all, but it seemed like he was trying his best to rub in everything he had going for him, and then on top of it, he was trying to edge his way into the best thing in her life.  Claire.

 

“So after five years, he’s coming back and wants to whisk your daughter off somewhere to be with him and his new wife?”

 

“Well, he only said partial custody, so I would guess that means two weekends a month, but yeah.  That’s about it.”

 

“Have you told Claire yet?”

 

“No.  I don’t know what to tell her.  I’ve always told her that her daddy’s a good man and that someday maybe she’ll meet him… I’m just not ready for ‘someday’ to be now.”  She shrugged, struggling to keep her voice from wavering.  It was the first time since she’d left Minnesota that she’d allowed her thoughts to wander back to Kevin’s request.

 

JC slid his arm around Jocelyn and pulled her closer to him.  She let her head rest on his shoulder and he touched her cheek, then let his hand find a strand of her copper hair to play with.  “I don’t know what to tell you.  Does he have any grounds to request partial custody?  I mean, he did leave you two for almost five years!”

 

“I don’t know if he does or not, but I can’t afford a custody battle.  I don’t have the money and I don’t have the energy to fight him in court.  And I think he knows that.  So basically, what he wants is what he’s going to get.  What he and his fiancé want.”  She sighed.  She had never met this Amy girl and she really didn’t have the desire to.  The thought of another woman raising her child, even if only for a few days a month, made her sick.

 

JC rubbed his nose thoughtfully.  He shook his head, his left hand still running idly through her hair.  “Well,” he finally said, “whatever happens, I’ll be here.  If you need to talk, or a shoulder to lean on.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

They sat a while longer like that, in comfortable silence.

 

Jocelyn moved to look at her watch and Claire stirred.  She lifted her sleepy head from Jocelyn’s shoulder and blinked, trying to focus.  “We should head over to the stage,” she said to JC.  He nodded.  “You can go back to sleep, sweetie.  We’re just going to walk back to where we came in.”

 

Claire’s determination showed when she rubbed her little fists into her tired eyes, trying to grind out the sleep.  She blinked a few times, trying to force her eyes to focus as Jocelyn and JC stood from the bench.  “Here, let me take her for a while,” JC said, reaching for Claire.  She went to him willingly, still struggling to wake up.

 

They made their way through the hoards of people and spotted Justin and Lance ducking around the side of the BET building and peeking out.  Jocelyn was amazed that they’d made it all the way from one end of PI to the other without being stopped, and she let JC know as much.

 

“I’m not Justin Timberlake,” he said with a smirk.  Lance spotted them and tugged on Justin’s sleeve. 

 

The “New Years” celebration was just beginning.  A computerized voice started speaking loudly to the crowd, and suddenly the stage was filled with dancers.  Claire woke up immediately and her eyes were instantly glued to the stage. 

 

“Kinda reminds me of your show,” Jocelyn commented.

 

“Nah, ours is way better,” Justin said with a wink and a grin.  His arms were folded across his chest, but he nudged Jocelyn with his shoulder playfully.  “Hey, Little C, wanna dance?”  Justin turned his eyes to the child still in JC’s arms.  Claire nodded enthusiastically, and the thought that she had been slumbering peacefully less than ten minutes earlier seemed ludicrous.  Justin took Claire from JC and they danced with her in his arms so that she could still see over the crowd.

 

Jocelyn and JC stood back and chuckled at the sight of Justin Timberlake dancing with a girl one-fourth his age.

 

By the time they made it back to JC’s house, Claire was sound asleep again and Jocelyn was practically sleepwalking. 

 

“I didn’t get much time to plan for company,” JC said apologetically, leading Jocelyn to the guest room.  He quickly removed some books and a pile of sheet music from the double bed.  “Sheets are clean, though.”  He turned down the comforter and Jocelyn slid Claire between the blankets.  She wasn’t going to bother getting Claire ready for bed for fear Claire would wake up again.

 

“Want some hot chocolate?” JC offered.  Jocelyn stifled a yawn and nodded, willing to forgo sleep in exchange for a chat with JC.

 

She sat on the couch in front of the Christmas tree.  The lights in the living room were off except for the tree.  The light from the kitchen spilled into the room, though, and Jocelyn could hear JC opening cabinets and the refrigerator.  A few moments later, the kitchen light went off and JC was sitting beside her on the couch, handing her a steaming mug of chocolate.

 

Jocelyn took a sip.  “Mmmm.”  She licked the froth off her lip.

 

“Like that?  It’s my own secret recipe.  Made with real chocolate.”  JC smiled and sipped from his mug.  He reached over and grabbed a remote control, aiming it at the stereo.  Mannheim Steamroller’s “Bring a Torch, Jeanette Isabella” began playing.

 

“I love this song,” Jocelyn said, smiling.  “Reminds me of a quiet winter day.”

 

JC slid down a little on the couch, resting one hand on his stomach.  He took another sip of his hot chocolate.

 

“Do you want your Christmas present?” he asked, glancing sideways at her.

 

“I thought you said you sent it in the mail.”

 

“I did… but it’s not the kind of thing that’s constrained by distance.”

 

Jocelyn raised one eyebrow at him, drinking from her mug.

 

“Come on.”  JC stood up and put his mug down, pulling her up with his free hand.  He led her past the guest room and into another room.  He turned on the light and dimmed it appropriately for the late hour.  He closed the door gently.  A piano stood in the corner, and he pulled her toward it.

 

Jocelyn’s breath caught in her throat.  She was suddenly aware of the warmth of JC’s fingers as they were intertwined with hers and tugging her along.  JC slid onto the piano bench and Jocelyn followed suit.  They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, the sides of their legs touching.  Jocelyn folded her hands in her lap, waiting.

 

JC’s hands hovered over the keys for a moment, as if testing out the energy of the instrument.  He lowered them and moved effortlessly across the ivory, creating the most beautiful melody Jocelyn had ever heard.  He played quietly, as not to wake Claire.

 

Tears stung the backs of Jocelyn’s eyes and the piano and JC’s hands became blurry before her.  She hadn’t even had ‘A Song’ with Kevin or anyone else, much less have one written for her.  JC began singing softly and beautifully.

 

In all of my life I’ve been grateful

For the gifts I have received

But in all my life before you

I’ve never felt the love I need

 

I prayed to God to help me

For the sorrow to subside

He answered me with a blessing

And placed two angels by my side

 

In every dream and every hope

You complete me through and through

In all my thoughts and all my prayers

I see all of them in you

 

Something inside me

Saw something inside of you

You opened up a part of my heart

That I never knew was there

 

Starting out on your own, Jem

Without knowing what to do

The strength inside you surfaced

And you succeed in all you do

 

That little angel next to you

Whom you brought into the world

How could I be so lucky?

To have the two whom I most adore love me too?

 

So I thank You God for everything

These blessings I have here

Lord, let them know how much I care

And treasure my lovely angel pair, and God

Please don’t let them leave me for that is my worst fear

 

 In every dream and every hope

You complete me through and through

In all my thoughts and all my prayers

I see all of them in you

 

Because you complete me through and through

 

Jocelyn was struck by the clarity of his voice, the pureness.  She could hear his love of music in every key his fingers touched, in every note his voice sang.  She watched as his fingers danced across the piano keys, mesmerized.  The music ran straight to her heart and gripped her there, and even when the last note faded from the piano’s strings, Jocelyn couldn’t move.

 

JC turned to her.  He didn’t say anything; he simply studied her face.  Her lips were parted and one of her eyebrows was arched slightly in contemplation.  She breathed softly and blinked.  When she did, a tiny tear spilled onto her cheek.  She didn’t even notice it.  She turned to JC when she felt his finger gently brush the tear away.

 

“That was beautiful,” she breathed, finally looking at him.  JC’s hand didn’t move from Jocelyn’s cheek.  He could feel her breath warm on his wrist.

 

“I’m glad you liked it,” he whispered back, smiling slightly.  He swallowed.  “It’s what I was feeling when I wrote it—I didn’t hold anything back.  That’s what I love about music.  You can really let your emotions out.” 

 

Jocelyn nodded, concentrating on his eyes.  “Thank you for sharing it with me.”

 

The remaining three days leading up to New Years Eve were filled with rehearsals throughout the mornings and into the early afternoons, followed by late afternoon forays into each individual Disney park.  The parks were jam-packed with tourists, but somehow Jocelyn didn’t notice.  Between Claire’s utter excitement at everything she was experiencing and the company Jocelyn was in, she didn’t have time to let lines and crowds bother her.  It was the second time Jocelyn had been to Walt Disney World, and it was the second vacation she’d ever taken during which she’d had company throughout.  For that reason alone, Walt Disney World was fast becoming one of her favorite places in the world.  She would undoubtedly hold some of her fondest memories in the Happiest Place on Earth.

 

It amused Jocelyn to no end to watch Claire’s eyes light up every time she spotted Mickey or one of his friends.  Claire now sported an autograph book filled with every imaginable “paw print.”  It was lost on Claire that Mickey couldn’t possibly be in all four parks at the same time; she was thrilled to be in the presence of The One and Only Mickey Mouse every time she met him.  Jocelyn’s favorite Mickey incarnation by far was Safari Mickey in Disney’s Animal Kingdom.  His khaki outfit was too cute for words.  For that reason alone, she had the Character Greeter snap her picture with Safari Mickey, JC and Claire. 

 

As they walked through the Animal Kingdom on their way back to the Tree of Life to visit Flick and his friends in a 3-D adventure in the insect world, Claire squinted up at the five-story-tall tree.  The December sun was bright just above the always-green leaves, and Claire shielded her eyes.

 

“Here.”  JC bent down, took his sunglasses off and perched them on Claire’s tiny nose, tucking them behind her ears.  They were far too big on her, but the sight was enough to melt Jocelyn’s heart. 

 

New Years Eve arrived crisp and cool.  It felt like a brisk fall day in Minnesota, but the Floridians were scrambling for their winter coats.  The guys had to head to the venue for their concert mid-afternoon, so Jocelyn took Claire to the Magic Kingdom. 

 

After watching the SpectroMagic Parade at seven, Jocelyn and Claire headed over to TD Waterhouse, where the concert would be held that evening.  It was almost nine by the time she’d fought the traffic in the car JC had let her borrow.  She had to keep reminding herself that half of the drivers on the roads were tourists who didn’t know where they were headed, and the other half were over the age of eighty-five and probably shouldn’t legally be allowed to get behind the wheel.  And none of them were in a hurry.  She’d gotten a detailed map from Lance to lead her from the Magic Kingdom to the former Orlando Arena.

 

She pulled around the back and displayed the access pass she had been given.  The concert was supposed to start at ten, so she had a little time to go back and wish the guys luck.  She found their dressing room and pushed through the door.

 

“Hey, Joss, heads up!”  Jocelyn stepped back as a hackey sac came flying towards her.  She caught it.  “Man, you’re not supposed to catch it!” Justin exclaimed.

 

Jocelyn laughed.  “Sorry!”  She tossed it back at Joey and he kicked at it, missing.  “You guys ready?”  She looked at her watch.  They had less than an hour.

 

“This concert is cake,” Justin said, collapsing onto the couch.  “It’s purely for fun.  We’re gonna have a good time out there, bring in the New Year with style.”

 

Chris and Joey started trying to teach Claire to hackey sac.  Jocelyn laughed as Claire jumped and kicked and looked more like she was trying to Tae-Bo than keep a beanbag in the air.

 

“So you ready to welcome in another year?”  Jocelyn smelled JC before she saw him come up next to her.  She was really beginning to like his scent. 

 

“Sure am.  A new year, new possibilities, new experiences… I can’t wait.”  She grinned and looked at him.  He smiled down at her.

 

“New Years resolutions… are you going to make any?”

 

Jocelyn laughed.  “I always do.  And I almost never keep them.”

 

“I’m making some.”  JC crossed his arms thoughtfully. 

 

“Care to share?”  She raised her eyebrow at him.

 

“Not just yet.”  He grinned mischievously.  It was time for Jocelyn and Claire to head out to the arena and let the men finish getting ready.  “Wish me luck,” JC said.

 

“Break a leg.” Jocelyn stood on her tiptoes and kissed JC chastely.  She caught his smile as he turned to finish getting ready.

 

The show, as usual, was amazing.  The energy was high and the crowd was more than receptive.  Justin was right; it was a “for fun” show.  She could tell in their performances that the pressure was off and all five of them were out there to have a good time.  Jocelyn thought it was possibly even better than the show she’d been to in August.

 

They ended their set with an upbeat medley of old familiar dance songs that the crowd very much enjoyed before counting down to the New Year.  Jocelyn was pleased to see Claire still full of energy.  She’d kept Claire up late the night before as to allow her to sleep in, and then she’d made her take a nap before they’d gone to the Magic Kingdom in hopes that she’d make it through midnight. 

 

“Happy New Year, Mommy!”  Claire gave her mother a hug and a kiss as fireworks went off on stage. 

 

“Happy New Year everybody!” the guys yelled, waving to the screaming crowd as the lights went down dramatically and they disappeared from sight in a cloud of smoke.

 

The arena started to clear out almost immediately and Jocelyn and Claire sat tight, not wanting to get crushed in the crowd.

 

When the arena had all but emptied, Jocelyn and a still-hopping Claire made their way backstage once again, pulling access passes out of their shirts.  The energy in the dressing room was almost as high as it had been onstage, as the adrenaline of putting on a good show was still pumping through their veins. 

 

“So?  What did you think?”  Lance was uncharacteristically bouncy as he popped up next to Jocelyn.

 

“You guys rocked,” Jocelyn said.

 

“You rocked,” Claire echoed. 

 

“We rocked the house!” Justin exclaimed, jumping off a folding chair.  “So what’s the plan for tonight?”  He grabbed the chair and tucked it backwards under himself. 

 

“I’ve got way too much energy to go home,” Chris said, concentrating on a pinball game.  His tongue was peeking out from between his lips.  He threw a glance at Joey.

 

“I’m going out,” Lance said.  “I think I’m actually going to meet up with Michelle.”

 

“Michelle’s here?” 

 

“Yup.  She’s here with some friends for the week, but she said something about wanting to get together tonight.” 

 

“Are any of her friends hot?” Justin asked.

 

“Don’t know.  You can see for yourself.  You coming, JC?” Lance tossed two balls in the air, trying to juggle.  He was unsuccessful.

 

JC looked at Jocelyn, then at Claire, who was trying to jump on Joey’s back.  “I think I’m going to pass this time. Thanks though!  You guys have fun.”

 

“Joey?”  Justin raised his eyebrows at Claire’s new personal pony.

 

“Actually,” Joey glanced at Chris, “I think I’m going to pass too.”  Everyone’s mouths dropped open.  “Hey Claire, how about you and me have a party of our own?  We can even pull the sleeping bags out into the living room and make popcorn.  Whaddya say?”  He was straining his neck to look backwards at the little girl on his back.

 

“Can I, Mommy?”

 

“Can she, Mommy?” Joey asked with a puppy dog look.

 

“I—I suppose so!  If that’s what you really want to do…”

 

“Actually, it is.”  Joey sounded sincere as he reached back and pulled Claire over his shoulder to tickle her.  She squirmed in his arms.

 

“Well, if no one else is coming along, let’s get this show on the road,” Chris said, smacking the pinball machine emphatically.  Justin bounded up from his chair, nearly knocking it over, and Lance tossed his makeshift juggling balls into the corner.

 

“Let’s go,” Lance agreed.

 

“If y’all wanna meet up with us, we’ll be at City Walk,” Justin said to JC and Jocelyn on the way out the door.

 

“So, what are your plans for this year?”  JC was holding Jocelyn’s fingers and swinging her hand idly as they strolled through a darkened park.  Lamps were placed along the path sporadically.

 

“I don’t really know,” Jocelyn said thoughtfully.  “I’ve spent so much of my time not able to plan for the future, that it’s almost strange to think about!  I’m definitely sticking with school.  I really enjoyed my classes last semester, and I can’t wait to get my grades.”  She grinned.  “I dunno.”  She shrugged.  “I like working at Edwards, Dalton and Hays.  Someday maybe I’ll go to law school.  Obviously not this year, but someday.  What about you?”

 

“Right now the band is everything.  This year I want to write more music.”

 

“You’re off to a good start,” Jocelyn said, smiling at the memory of the song he’d shared with her.

 

JC stopped walking.  “Do you…do you find it odd that we’ve only met each other a few times?”

 

It was something Jocelyn had often pondered.  She could honestly say she was completely comfortable in JC’s presence now, though.  She’d been trying to justify the feelings of attachment towards him a thousand different ways, but hadn’t really been able to come up with anything.  “Well, we’ve been communicating, at least, for about four months.”

 

“I know…” JC turned to face her.  “It’s just weird.  I don’t usually let my guard down so quickly.  I feel like I could tell you anything.”

 

Jocelyn wished the lighting was a little better so that she could really look into his eyes, although she could imagine what she’d see there. 

 

“Talk about letting your guard down!  JC, I have always prided myself on being practical, logical, and level-headed.  When I’m around you, for some reason, every inhibition I have goes out the window.  I took my four-year-old daughter on a weekend trip with five strangers, for heaven’s sake.  And I can only chalk that up to feeling entirely at ease around you and the guys.  And if it had stopped at that, I’d have said I was a little off my game from practically getting run over by a bus.  But three months later I did it again.  I took my child on an airplane, flew to another city, and spent another weekend with you.  And even that I might be able to attribute to feeling spontaneous and free after finals.  But here I am, on yet another trip.  This time I was kidnapped by one of your buddies, and for over a week, no less.  And throughout it all, I’ve spilled my guts to you, it seems, a thousand times.  I’ve never been one to come out and talk about my life, things that are bothering me, whatever.  I’ve tried so hard to shelter myself from being hurt again, to hold on to what I have.  But I—am rambling again.”  She shook her head and looked down at the ground.

 

“I like it when you talk to me.”  JC crooked his finger and raised her chin with it until he could look into her eyes.  “Happy New Year, Jocelyn.”

 

“Happy New Year, JC.” She almost whispered the words, finding herself lost in his eyes.  He dipped his head and touched his lips to hers, running his fingers along her jaw and into her hair.

 

Jocelyn rose onto her toes, wrapping her arms around JC’s strong shoulders.  He pulled her towards him, smiling against her lips.  She smiled, too, and their teeth hit.  They both started giggling slightly, noses and foreheads still pressed together.  “I don’t want you to go,” JC whispered, becoming serious.

 

Jocelyn kissed him again, stopping any thoughts of what was going to happen come Saturday.  She was far more content to live this moment in real time, forgetting about the future. 

 

The next few days flew by.  Everyone relaxed, took it easy, and enjoyed one another’s company.  On Friday, Grams and Gramps drove up from Tampa to spend one last day at Walt Disney World with Jocelyn, Claire, and JC.  At Claire’s request, they went back to the Magic Kingdom.  Justin and Joey met them at Disney Studios for dinner in the Sci-Fi Diner. 

 

Jocelyn and Claire each hugged Grams and Gramps tightly when it was time to leave.  “Thanks for everything.  We had so much fun today, and it was the best Christmas ever!” Jocelyn said to her grandparents, not wanting them to leave.

 

“It certainly was.  It won’t be so long between visits next time,” Gramps promised.

 

Jocelyn and Claire got into JC’s car and followed Justin and Joey back to Lance’s house, where they’d be joining Lance, Michelle and Chris for one last little get-together before the most glorious week of Jocelyn’s life came to an end.

 

The remains of a cookout were spread out in the back yard.  Jocelyn greeted Michelle warmly.  “It’s good to see you again!” she said, smiling at the slightly sun-kissed and relaxed woman she’d met in Chicago a few weeks earlier.

 

Claire found some chalk and began drawing on Lance’s blacktopped driveway while Joey prepared margaritas.  Justin forbid Lance from handling the music, and Jocelyn settled into a lawn chair between Michelle and JC.

 

By nine o’clock Claire had crawled into Joey’s lap and fallen asleep.  Jocelyn apologized and offered to take Claire into her own Chair, but Joey declined.  “The munchkin and I bonded during our slumber party the other night,” he said with a goofy grin.

 

“What did you guys do?” Michelle asked, taking a sip from her drink.

 

Joey looked down at the slumbering Claire and smoothed her hair.  “We played for a while, then I made popcorn and put the sleeping bags out, and the kid was asleep in one of my t-shirts before we were ten minutes into Bambi.  And then the next day I made pancakes.”

 

“Look at you, Joey, getting all fatherly and domestic!” Lance said.

 

Jocelyn smiled at the memory of Claire’s excitement when she’d gone to pick her up.  Spending the night with Joey had made Claire’s entire trip.  And it made Jocelyn feel good that Joey would even want to spend time alone with her daughter. 

 

The adults chatted about everything under the sun until well after midnight.  Finally, Michelle stood up and stifled a yawn.  “I think I’m ready to hit the sack,” she said.  “I have to meet my friends back at the hotel at nine to head for the airport.  It was real good seeing you again, Jocelyn.”  Michelle had a hug for everyone, and Lance led her off to his guest room.

 

“Yup, I think it’s that time,” Chris agreed, standing and stretching.

 

JC got out of his chair and stretched as well, and Jocelyn’ couldn’t help but reach over and smack the exposed skin of his stomach playfully.  “Hey!” he said, quickly bringing his arms down and around his stomach protectively.  Jocelyn’s eyes twinkled.  She took Claire from Joey quickly before JC could retaliate.

 

Jocelyn snuggled into the oversized t-shirt and flannel pants she was using as pajamas and tucked her legs under her on the couch.  JC emerged from his bedroom wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants and joined her on the sofa.  “So did you have a good week?” he asked with a smile.

 

“I did, indeed.  And yourself?”

 

“Most definitely.  It was a good break.  But we’ll be back to work double time come Monday.”  He groaned. 

 

Jocelyn let her fingers run through the curls at the ends of JC’s hair.  “I can’t believe they got me out of work for two entire weeks,” Jocelyn said.  “I’m almost afraid they didn’t, and when I go back, I’ll be out of a job.”

 

“That won’t happen,” JC told her.  “You’re too valuable to them.”

 

“I’ve got one more week of winter break left, and then it’s back to school for an all new semester.”  Jocelyn took a deep breath and stifled a yawn.  “At least I was able to get pretty much the same schedule this semester as I did last semester.  It worked out well with work and Claire.”

 

JC slumped down in the couch and leaned his temple against Jocelyn’s, resting his feet on the coffee table.  He picked up one of her hands and examined it.  He traced the lines with his finger.  Then he held it in both of his hands.  “I wish you didn’t have to leave,” he told her.

 

“Me too, but I have things waiting for me at home.”  Jocelyn sighed.  She snuggled down into the couch a little more, finding a comfortable spot on JC’s shoulder to rest her head.  Her fingers were still captured between his, and she couldn’t explain how good it felt to just have someone holding her hand.  He stroked the skin near her wrist with his thumb and she closed her eyes.

 

Jocelyn opened her eyes and stretched, and was a little surprised to realize that she was still on the couch.  She had a bed pillow under her head and a warm blanket tucked around her.  She heard a door click open in the hall and turned to see JC rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, his hair standing up about four inches off his head, Kramer-style.  Jocelyn couldn’t help the snort of laughter.

 

“Morning,” JC said, stretching his long limbs.

 

“Do you always look like that in the morning?” Jocelyn asked, trying to cover her smile by biting down on her lips.

 

JC made an unsuccessful attempt to flatten the tangle of waves back down as he nudged her over to make room for him on the couch.  “Happy Saturday to you, too.”  He reached over and tousled her honey-colored hair.  “See how you like it.”  He reached over the back of the couch and grabbed a baseball cap, pulling it down over his head.  “There.”

 

“Much better,” Jocelyn said, still giggling slightly.  She tucked her hair behind her ears.

 

Just then little feet padded into the living room.  Claire looked wide-awake and carried her Barbie doll and stuffed Mickey.

 

“Morning, Munchkin,” JC said, patting the couch for Claire to join them.

 

“Good morning, Claire Bear,” Jocelyn said, welcoming her daughter into her lap.

 

“Morning JC, morning Mommy.” 

 

“How long have you been up?” Jocelyn asked, smoothing Claire’s blond hair.

 

Claire shrugged.  “I was playing.”

 

“Anyone up for some pancakes?” JC offered, pushing himself up off the couch.

 

“Me!” Claire exclaimed, her little hand shooting into the air.

 

“Sure!”

 

“Alrighty.” JC clapped his hands and rubbed them together.  “Regular or chocolate chip?”

 

“Do you even need to ask?”  Jocelyn laughed and followed JC into the kitchen, Claire hopping along behind them.

 

Jocelyn sat and sipped coffee at the table with Claire, who was lost in a conversation between Barbie and Mickey, while JC prepared the batter.  She could get used to this.

 

JC drove Jocelyn and Claire to the airport at noon.  Grams and Gramps had sprung for a return ticket on a commercial flight.  Jocelyn didn’t want her time in Fantasyland to end.  She’d had a wonderful and much-needed vacation, and she wished more than anything that there was a way to pause time and let her stay here in Florida just a little bit longer.

 

Saying goodbye was harder this time.  Jocelyn could feel the lump in her throat, and she tried to swallow it, but it refused to go away. 

 

“So…” JC said, watching as people streamed out of the skyway.  The plane would be boarding again shortly.

 

“So,” Jocelyn agreed.

 

“Thanks for making this one of the best New Years I’ve had,” JC said.

 

“Ditto.”  Jocelyn smiled sweetly and JC couldn’t help but push a strand of her hair behind her ear.

 

“Have a safe trip home.  And call me when you get there, just so I know you two made it home alright.”  He looked around.  They were really going to start boarding soon.  “I’ll miss you.”  He squeezed her hands.

 

“And YOU.”  He knelt down to Claire’s level and tapped her nose.  “You take care of your mom for me, okay?”

 

“I will.”  Claire nodded. 

 

“And be good.”  He grinned at her and accepted her into his arms for a hug.  He let her go and stood up as a flight attendant announced that boarding would start in a moment.

 

“Okay, well, this is it.”  Jocelyn stepped into his arms and hugged him tightly.  JC tried to kiss her quickly, but the bill of his baseball cap hit her in the forehead.  “Ow!”  Jocelyn giggled and rubbed her forehead.

 

“Sorry!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll survive.”  She turned his hat around backwards and kissed him, making sure to commit to memory everything she was feeling, smelling, and tasting at that very moment.  She’d already said goodbye to the other four-fifths of *NSYNC earlier, and had thanked them profusely for arranging the trip, but she told JC to thank them once more and to wish them well for her.  He said he would, then stepped back and returned his hat to the correct position.

 

Jocelyn took Claire’s hand and got in line.  JC leaned casually against the wall and smiled, giving a little wave as they glanced back at him before entering the skyway. 

 

Jocelyn unlocked her door with a bit of a heavy heart.  The previous week and a half had been so incredible that she couldn’t believe it was over.  This had DEFINITELY been the best holiday season she’d ever experienced.

 

She was practically knocked over by Oliver, who was more than excited to see her.  He tried to lick her face, his tail wagging triple-time.  “It’s good to see you, too.  Did Carolyn take good care of you?”  She scratched him right in front of his tail, his favorite scratching spot. 

 

Jocelyn left Claire to make up to Oliver for leaving and went into the kitchen.  She smiled when she saw the mound of mail Carolyn had been bringing in.  She sat down to sort through it, dividing it into bills and personal letters.  Junk mail got filed in the garbage can.  Her smile broadened when she came to a small box addressed to her and postmarked from Orlando.

 

She tore it open to find a CD-shaped wrapped package with a card on top marked “Jem” alongside a smaller one with a card that read “Little C.” 

 

She put Claire’s gift aside for the moment and tore open her card.  She smiled and ran her fingers over the words he’d written. 

 

            Jem,

 

                        Wish I could be there when you opened this.  And I wish I could

            be wishing you a Merry Christmas in person.  That’s a lot of wishing,

            isn’t it?  Well, ‘tis the season!  I miss you.  Have a great Christmas.

 

                                                                        Love,

                                                                            Josh

 

She carefully unwrapped what she already knew would be a CD and touched the case gently.  “In Every Dream” was written in script across an image of a peaceful night sky over a serene landscape.  So that’s what he’d titled the song.  She covered her smile with her hand.  Nothing would compare to hearing JC sing his song in person, but Jocelyn’s somber mood was brightened enormously with the realization that she could listen to him sing to her over and over.

 

“Hey Claire, I’ve got something here for you to open,” Jocelyn called.  She realized she and Claire hadn’t actually opened any of the gifts they’d had waiting for them under their own Christmas tree, either, but that could wait.

 

Claire bounded in, Oliver at her heels.  She opened the card first and studied it.  “What’s it say?”  She handed it to her mother, and then leaned over to watch Jocelyn read.

 

“It says, ‘Dear Claire.  I really enjoyed your performance in the hotel dining room with Justin, and I thought this might help you remember.  I had to wrestle Justin for it, and in the end I had to promise to buy him one, too.  Merry Christmas!  Love, JC.’”  Claire pulled the paper off to reveal a blue *NSYNC watch.

 

Jocelyn laughed as Claire pressed one of the buttons on the side and the watch started singing “Bye, Bye, Bye.”  Claire jumped up and down excitedly, holding out her wrist.  Jocelyn set the time—far too slowly for Claire’s liking—and put the oversized digital watch around Claire’s little wrist.  She could push it up halfway to her elbow, but she obviously loved it.  “Look!  It’s Chris!”  Claire jumped excitedly, hurrying to show her mother the face that had appeared in place of the time.  She didn’t get it within Jocelyn’s sight line in time, though, and they had to sit and stare at the numbers until another face appeared.  It was Lance.

 

“You’ll have to thank JC for that,” Jocelyn said as Claire made the watch sing once again, dancing along with the little digital *NSYNC members.

 

Claire pranced off to the living room and Jocelyn remembered her promise to JC to call him and let him know they’d made it home alive.  She went to the phone and noticed the answering machine flashing with eleven messages.  She pushed the button.

 

Hey, Joss, it’s Kevin.  I was a little concerned about our dinner the other night, and I wanted to make sure things were okay.  You can take your time to think things over.  Give me a call after Christmas.  Have a good one!  Beeeeep.  Jocelyn groaned.  She was glad she hadn’t been there to take his call.

 

Hi, Jocelyn.  It’s JC.  Jocelyn grinned goofily, happy to hear his voice.  I was hoping to catch you at home, but hopefully you’re out having the best Christmas of your life.  “Oh, I was, JC, I was.”  Anyway, I called to wish you a merry Christmas.  Sorry I missed you!  Hope to talk to you soon. Beeeeep/

 

Joss, it’s Kevin.  I hope you had a nice Christmas.  Um… I was wondering if you’d gotten my message the other day.  I was hoping to be able to set up a meeting with you and Amy, so that you’d get to know the people who will be taking care of Claire twenty-six weekends of the year.  Call me.  Beeeeep.

 

Hey Joss.  It’s JC again.  I tried calling you yesterday… but you probably know that already.  I hope you don’t think I’m a crazy stalker for calling you two days in a row just to hear your voice!  If you didn’t think that already, you probably do now.  Anyway, I’m at my grandparents’ house, so I’ll try you again Friday or Saturday.  Hopefully I’ll catch you home one of these days.  Take care!  Beeeeep.

 

Hi, Jocelyn.  Kevin again.  Have you been getting my messages?  I’m surprised you haven’t called me back.  Maybe I’m not surprised, but avoiding me isn’t going to change anything.  It’s been too long already that I haven’t seen my daughter.  I’d really like to see her.  Give me a call, please.  Beeeeep.

 

Jocelyn, Kevin.  I don’t know what to think here.  It’s been almost a week since I first called and I still haven’t heard from you.  This is pretty irresponsible of you, really.  Amy and I have put a lot of effort into becoming responsible parents for Claire, and I have to say that you’re not impressing me with the childish ignoring of my wishes.  Please call me, or we’re going to have to renegotiate our agreement.  Beeeeep.

 

“Our agreement?”  Jocelyn looked at the machine in disbelief.  The seventh message was a hang-up, and then Kevin’s infuriating voice filled her ears once more.

 

Jocelyn, this is getting ridiculous.  I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I have the right to see my daughter.  You can’t keep her from me, and you know that.  I’ve done a lot with my life to prepare myself to be the best father I can, and you’re not going to take that away from me.  Please call me back.  Beeeeep.

 

Okay, it’s been over a week and you STILL haven’t returned any of my calls.  It is extremely irresponsible of you to be keeping my daughter from me like this.  I only want what’s best for Claire, and I’ve been talking it over with Amy.  I honestly think the most stable environment for her would be with us.  I wanted to discuss this with you in person, but since you’re not returning ANY of my calls, I guess this is my only option.  I need you to call me back, Jocelyn.  I don’t like being the bastard here, but you’re not really giving me a choice.  Beeeeep.  It grated on Jocelyn’s nerves that Kevin kept referring to Claire as “his daughter.”  She shuddered and prepared to hear yet another message from Kevin.

 

Surprise, surprise.  Answering machine picked up again.  Do you still live here?  You’re not giving me many options, Jocelyn.  Just so you’re forewarned.  Beeeeep.  Forewarned?  That sounded like a threat.  Jocelyn crossed her arms across her chest, setting her jaw and clenching her teeth.

 

Oh, why do I bother?  Jocelyn, it’s been two weeks since our dinner, since I last spoke with you.  I can’t imagine why you’re avoiding me.  I thought what we’d discussed was a fair solution.  Only now, I’m really beginning to doubt your parenting abilities.  Amy said that maybe you went out of town, but your parents didn’t know a thing about it, and what kind of person runs off with a preschooler in tow without telling anyone?  The person who does that is someone I wouldn’t want caring for my child.  Leaving these messages may prove to be hopeless, but I’m at my wit’s end here.  If you won’t talk to me, I’m going to have to take legal action.  At this point, really think the best situation for Claire would be to live here with Amy and myself.  We can provide her with everything she needs, her environment would be stable, and we—Beeeeep.  The machine cut him off. 

 

Jocelyn ran her fingers through her hair, her throat tight.  She was so angry that, if she’d been a cartoon character, steam would be shooting out her ears and her face would be the color of a tomato.  She was more than thankful that Claire was playing in her bedroom with Oliver, far removed from earshot of the answering machine and wonderfully oblivious.

 

Suddenly her legs felt like jelly and her knees didn’t want to hold her weight.  Jocelyn lowered herself into a chair, trying to still her shaking hands.  She was holding the portable phone, having picked it up before deciding to play the answering machine messages.  She tried to calm herself a little by breathing deeply.  She opened her eyes and looked at the phone as if it was an offensive object just by pure virtue of being attached to the answering machine that had recorded the awful messages from Kevin.

 

She then remembered the reason she’d gone to the phone in the first place.  She was supposed to assure JC of her safe arrival.  She dialed his number by heart and listened to it ring, half hoping to get his voice mail so that she could leave a message and go curl up on the couch.

 

“Jocelyn?”

 

“How’d you know it was me?” she asked, surprised.

 

She could hear slight embarrassment in his voice.  “Uh… I’ve, um… kind of been waiting for you to call.”  She could almost hear him shrugging sheepishly.  “So I take it you made it home okay.”

 

Jocelyn swallowed.  “Made it home alright, yes.  I’m just hoping I’ll make it through the rest of the day.”

 

JC’s voice was suddenly flooded with concern.  “Why? What’s wrong?  Are you sick?  Is Claire okay?  Did something happen?”

 

She couldn’t help but smile a little at his worry.  “No one’s sick.  Claire is just fine.”  She paused for a moment.  “Kevin called.  Eight times, actually.”

 

“What did he want?”

 

“Basically, he wants Claire.  I have no idea why.  I don’t understand it.  Does he just want to hurt me?  JC, I wish you could hear the messages he left.  He sounded so angry.  I’m afraid.”

 

JC would have jumped through the phone right then if he could have.  He didn’t want her to be alone.  “What, exactly, did he say?”

 

“At first, he just wanted to discuss his taking Claire for two weekends a month, which I STILL don’t even understand… then he was angry that I hadn’t returned his calls, and by the end of the week, he was threatening to take her full-time.”

 

“WHAT?!  He couldn’t do that, Joss.  No courts would give Claire to him.  And I can’t imagine a person so cold-hearted as to take your daughter away from you over a slight irritation like not returning phone calls you never even GOT, since you were out of town!”

 

“I wouldn’t have believed Kevin was capable of requesting something like this, either, but he has.  And honestly, I’m a single mom, struggling to make ends meet.  I’m going to school, I have a job, and my daughter spends most of her day in daycare.  I don’t have any supports; it’s just me.  And Claire.  Kevin has a college degree.  He has a stable job and he’s making a lot of money.  Apparently his fiancé wants just to raise a family, to be a stay-at-home mom.  Or at least that’s the impression I got.  Let’s see.  Single parent struggling to make ends meet, two-parent family with a steady income and full-time care provider.  Struggling to make ends meet, steady income.”  She moved her hands like a scale, clamping the phone between her cheek and shoulder.  She could hear her voice wavering, on the verge of hysteria.

 

“Or you can look at a woman who has given up everything for herself to provide everything she can for her daughter.  A woman who has sacrificed time and again, given herself completely to raising this child the best she knows how.  All the money in the world can’t buy the love you have for Claire.  Put that against an absentee father who ran when the going got tough and a potential stepmom neither you nor Claire have met.  There’s no contest there.”

 

“Thanks, JC, but I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life.  Enough to open the door to a character attack if this goes to court.”  Jocelyn knew she was getting way ahead of herself, but she couldn’t help it.  “I’ve made poor choices before.  I trusted Kevin, for one.  I’ve lost jobs, I’ve been evicted from apartments for not making rent.  I don’t get along with my own parents because I wasn’t a strong enough person to fight for it.  I’ve submitted my child to some very kid-unfriendly work environments.  I mean, I took her to work at a truck stop for almost an entire year.  That can’t be healthy.  I lived on peanut butter sandwiches and had bugs in my kitchen.  I got a dog and couldn’t bear to give him up, even when I really couldn’t afford to feed him.  So I got my phone cut off to buy dog food.”  She laughed, realizing how Little Orphan Annie this whole story was sounding. 

 

They were both quiet for a while, listening to each other breathe.  “I wish I could be there,” he finally said.  There was nothing he wanted more than to wrap her in his arms, tuck her head under his chin, and hold her there.  To make all her hurt go away.

 

“I do too.  But this is a predicament I got myself into.”  The pain in her voice was heart-wrenching.  She really didn’t know what to do.  She honestly couldn’t understand what might motivate Kevin to do something so hurtful to another person.  And to be honest, neither could JC.

 

“Do you want me to come up there?  Lend you some support, at least?”  JC sounded eager to help, and that immediately made Jocelyn feel better.

 

“No, you have work to do.  I’ll be fine.  You can lend me support over the phone.  But thank you.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure.  And thank you for the phone messages around Christmas.”

 

JC laughed.  “I must have sounded ridiculous!  Especially since you didn’t get the messages because you were in Florida.”

 

“I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else.  I really had the best week and a half of my life.”  She smiled into the phone, feeling her heart rate returning to normal.  Talking to JC was calming.

 

“So did I.”

 

When Jocelyn hung up the phone, she was almost able to put Kevin’s messages out of her mind.  Almost. 

 

She held the disconnected portable phone in her hands and thought.  Tomorrow was Sunday and she was going to spend the day with Claire.  And then, come Monday, she’d be speaking with one of the lawyers at work.  THEN she’d talk to Kevin.  Jocelyn went into the living room and stuck JC’s CD in the player.  She curled up with a blanket and smiled as the first notes of the song played.  She could feel the tension dissipating as she listened to JC’s gorgeous, passion-filled voice.  She closed her eyes and let the music fill every pore of her consciousness.

 

 

END PART 3

Part 4 (coming soon)

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