Sweating Bullets

"Ahhh.." I gasped slightly. It was all I could do to bite my lip not to let a grumbled swear word pass through my lips. After all, my mother was present. And was she ever.

"Are you all right, Lindsey?" Mom asked me, stretching her arms up into the air. Not surprisingly, her breathing pattern was relatively normal, considering our recent tackle of exercises: that God-damned Richard Simmons fellow. Staring at the twig-like legs of his that sprung from horridly seventies-styled bicycle shorts, I couldn't believe that the man used to weigh over three hundred pounds.

Somewhat of a comfort in that area.. but not much.

"No." I puffed in response. Glancing at Mom, I noticed her face hadn't the slightest shade of pink, whereas mine felt burning hot. My forehead tickled slightly with the formation of beads of sweat across my hairline, and I absently reached up and brushed them away with my fingertips.

"But we're only on his third video." She pointed out.

"But each of them is forty-five minutes long." I retorted with a scowl. As much fun as this wasn't, I also had homework to do. Fortunately, by the great benevolence of someone upstairs, Coach had cancelled practice for this afternoon, so I had three glorious hours to commit to my reading assignment for History. Don't ask how I was going to read five chapters in three hours, plus write a paper on them, but three hours is definently better than none. However, I didn't want to spend that time working out with my mother, to say the least.

"Sorry Mom," I bounced to a halt. "I have a big paper due tomorrow."

"All right." Mom replied. Surprised at the cheerfulness of her voice, I grabbed my hand towel nearby and wiped my face off on it. With a flick of my wrist, I waved goodbye over my shoulder to Mom and dashed upstairs. When I entered my room, one look at the brightness in my face and sweat in my hair made me realize a shower was in order. Stripping off my baggy sweats and T-shirt, I grabbed for my bathrobe and wrapped the fuzzy terrycloth around me and headed for the bathroom. After closing the door with a click, I caught sight of my reflection in the wide mirror above the sinks.

Hmm.. I thought, frowning at a closer inspection of my body.

Am I gaining weight? I couldn't tell by the bulk of my overlying bathrobe. After pulling it off my shoulders and letting my robe fall to the floor, I gasped and clasped my hands over my mouth, tears glistening in the corners of my eyes. It was horrible.

I'm bigger than ever.. was the only thought I could recognize. The rest were blank as my eyes practically bore through the mirror at the girl staring back at me. Horrified at every curve, I sucked in my stomach and pressed the palm of my hand over my lower abdomen. A few days ago, I'd experienced something I hadn't been able to for years: I'd looked down and seen my feet on the floor rather than covered by my bulging stomach. While the experience had been elating, it still hadn't seemed enough. I didn't feel thin- and obviously now I still didn't look it. Glancing down, I was relieved to see the tips of my toes looking back up at me.

Check. I reminded myself, grabbing my right wrist with my left hand. With enough squeezing, my index finger almost touched the tip of my middle finger, but not quite yet.

Damn.

"Lindsey, I forgot to mention-oh!" Mom stuck her head into the room. I immediately ducked and grabbed my robe, pulling it over myself.

Second time in weeks, I thought, horrified. I didn't need a glance in the mirror to know my face was bright red with embarrassment. Yeah, it was my mother, but at the same time it was my mother.

"Moo-oom!" I quickly snapped at her.

"Sorry sweetie," she said quietly. I could feel her eyes still examining me as she replied:

"I can't take you to work tonight, so just ride you bike."

"You can't?" I asked with a sigh. "Why not?"

"I.. need to run to the office later." She replied with a tight smile. I frowned slightly, not understanding where she was coming from.

"Why can't you go now?" The last thing I wanted was to ride my bike downtown.. again.

"I've got to make dinner first, then run to the office. You'll just have to ride your bike again."

".. Ok, whatever." I muttered sullenly, my eyes cast down on the floor. Now I just wanted more than anything for her to leave.

"Thanks for understanding." She smiled brightly before closing the door. Just as I relaxed, she popped her head in again.

"Oh, one more thing Lindsey."

"What!?" I snapped again. I didn't mean for it to come out bitterly, but the fact I was standing practically naked in front of her was making me more than a little uncomfortable.

"About dieting and exercising.." I frowned as her voice trailed off, as if she wasn't sure how to word the end of her sentence.

"What about it?" Register that comment a 9.0 on the crabbiness meter please.

"I'm really proud of all the hard work you've been putting in toward losing weight the last few weeks," she spoke delicately before glancing at me directly. "I just want you to know that it's a long, slow process. So don't get discouraged if you don't see the results you want right away. That's all."

What the hell!? I wanted to yell at her at the top of my lungs. Instead, I muttered with a tight-lipped smile,

"Ok.. Thanks for the concern." I couldn't believe it: until now I thought I'd been doing pretty well. Glancing at myself in the mirror again after she closed the door, I realized maybe Mom was right. After her incriminating examination, maybe she didn't see the small results on me I was able to see. Or at least, I'd thought were there. Maybe they aren't..

Is there any pleasing her? I couldn't help but wonder. I mean, I'm not perfect, but I feel better than I have in a long time. So what if I don't look any different..

On the other hand, Mom does know what she's talking about; this way with her is taking forever. Shit.. I realized, sitting on the cool edge of the bathtub. If I still look really bad, I'd better do something about it. Perhaps something bold. Perhaps something drastic.

Perhaps.. a thought for another time. I checked the time on the clock and found I now only had an hour and a half to get to work. Damn, so much for writing my paper too.

"Someone's in trouble!" Phil called to me in a sing-song voice as I rushed into work a few minutes late. Ok, so maybe it was more than a few, but I'd gotten stuck in Rush Hour traffic on the way over here. Not like it was my fault.

"What?" I managed to squeak out between deep breathes as I punched in my time card.

"As one of the good employees here, I'll inform you that generally when we are supposed to work at 5:00pm, we arrive here at.. oh, hmm, let's see.. how about five p.m.."

"What are you talking about?" I stared at Phil momentarily.

"The big man in the office wants to see you pronto." Phil pointed to Jamie's office. "You should really think about what you did before you go in there though. He'll go easier on you that way."

"But I didn't do anything." I protested.

"I'd call being twenty minutes late 'something'. But don't tell me about it, tell Jamie."

"Wonderful." I grumbled under my breathe and made my way over to his office. After rapping gently on the door, I opened it after hearing a muffled "Come in."

"Hi Jamie," I said sheepishly.

"Lindsey." He greeted me with a nod and pointed to a chair in front of his desk. "Have a seat. Did Phil tell you what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Yeah," I admitted with an apologetic smile. "Please let me explain though. I really wanted to be here on time- I had to ride my bike over here again and I left my house with plenty of time but first my neighbors Doberman, the meanest animal on the face of this earth I swear, chased me down the road in the other direction for about two blocks before it finally got tired of freaking me out. Then I had to ride back in the right direction those two blocks, but then I ran into heavy traffic right at the end of the corner on Washington Road, you know the one I always take here, including almost getting hit twice by cars and nearly running over an old lady on the sidewalk, but I'd made her drop her groceries and they fell everywhere. I just couldn't leave her there, so I stopped and helped her pick them up. Then the garbage guys were outside the restaurant when I finally pulled up and they'd parked the truck in front of the bike rack again, so I had to wait for them to move, which they certainly took their sweet time doing I'll add, but they finally moved so I was able to get here. Like I said, I'm really sorry I'm late though."

".. Wow." Jamie blinked at me as I held my breathe for fear he'd fire me on the spot.

"I'm really sorry-" I started to repeat when he held up his hand to interrupt me.

"Until now, I hadn't even realized you were late." Glancing at his watch, his mouth pulled into an amused smile. "Don't worry, just don't do it again. I'm guessing that Phil didn't tell you that I wanted you to switch jobs, if that's all right with you."

"Switch jobs?" I echoed. "No.. Phil didn't say anything about that to me."

He's dead. On a stick.

"What I did want to tell you is that I'm desperately short on waitresses now, since the twins Candi and Sandy, or whatever their names were, decided to quit last night. Would you mind trying waitressing tonight?"

"Umm.. ok." I shrugged my shoulders at the idea.

Money is money.. which you don't have, I reminded myself.

"Wonderful! Let me get an apron." He pushed back his chair and stood up.

"Now?" I asked, standing up and following him out of the office in surprise. "I don't know the first thing about waitressing though."

"There's not a whole lot to learn. You already know what we have on our pizzas." Jamie paused in rummaging through the uniform closet to smile confidently at me before continuing his search. "I think you can do just fine- oh, here we go. Finally."

"Well, I'll try my best." Was all I could think of a reply, taking the black apron Jamie held out to me.

"Looks great on you, kid. Here's a spare tablet for orders. Go ask the girls up front which tables they need help with, they've got a system up there. I really appreciate your help on this."

"Just remember that when I get my paycheck, Jamie." Despite the stressful situation, I smiled.

"Just go knock 'em dead out there." He patted me on the back and headed to the kitchen, probably to give Phil a hand with preparing the food. I made my way up to the front registers/drink station, where one of the waitresses was ringing up an order. Glancing at her nametag, I'd realized I'd never met this "Karla" until now. I just hoped she knew what she was doing. Couldn't know less than me, at least.

"Thanks. Come again please." She smiled brightly at the customers on the other side of the counter as they accepted their change and exited. Turning to me, she abruptly asked,

"Are you the new waitress?"

"I guess so." I asked, surprised at how intently and brightly her brown eyes stared at me.

"Good. You can have table four-" she pointed to a small round table with an elderly man sitting behind a menu. "-and.." She scanned the crowded floor until her eyes settled on a couple sitting down at a booth. "-six over there. If they ask about specials, then just say we don't have any right now."

"Good luck!" She gave me a slight shove in the direction of the tables, whispering in my ear,

"Help the older man first. He's been here for awhile. And don't expect a tip on that order."

"Wonderful," I muttered and made my way through the sea of chairs that were strewn over my path to his table. Upon reaching it, I asked in a meek voice,

"Umm.. can I take your order please?"

"It's about time!" His steel-colored eyes shot from his menu to my face, nearly making me drop my tablet in surprise.

"I-I-i'm really sorry, Sir. We're, umm.. a little short on staff today." I replied timidly.

"Pasta salad and a small decaf." He handed me his menu with a quick snap of his wrist. "Three sugars, two creams."

".. Ok," I wrote his order furiously down on my notepad. "Umm.. how many creams and sugars was that?"

"Three sugars, two creams."

"Ok, coming right up. Thanks for waiting." Was the nicest response I could come up with. Walking back to the waitress station, I searched for the coffee pot, without much luck. Fortunately, I caught the sight of Karla passing me out of the corner of my eye, so I grabbed her sleeve.

"Sorry to bug you, but where's the coffee?" I asked her.

"It isn't on the station?" She asked irritation in her voice, pointing at the coffee machine. I turned to look at it only to find it empty of coffee pots.

"I guess not." I stated the obvious.

"Ok, just run back to the sink, rinse a coffee pot out, and start brewing."

" 'Start brewing'?" I echoed.

"For God's sake, I'd at least think you'd know how to brew coffee." I shook my head no as Karla rolled her eyes. "Just grab a filter from here-" she pointed to a cabinet underneath the coffee center. "-along with a package of coffee, empty the grounds into the filter, put it into a holder- they're in there too- and then push the start button. It's really easy. Sorry to be short but I have customers waiting for me." With that, she was gone.

"Make sure you tell your customer how it's going to be about a three minute wait on coffee!" She called over her shoulder as she disappeared into the sea of people in the lobby.

"Ok, thanks." I called meekly behind her.

Ok, first things first.. With a sigh, I headed back to the sink. Fortunately, I saw three coffee pots floating aimlessly around in a pool of water. Grabbing one, I rinsed it out and returned back to the front, setting the coffee pot on the counter next to the machine. Sitting on the floor in front of the cabinet, I stared blankly at the door, not seeing a handle on it. Running my fingers over the cool silver finish, I pushed slightly on the upper left corner. Nothing happened. With a sigh, I pushed the upper right corner, and jumped back as the door sprung open quickly. But I hadn't moved fast enough: the door smacked me right on the tip of my knee.

"Wonderful," I muttered, rubbing my knee slightly. I pulled out a filter, package of decaf coffee grounds, and what I hoped was a holder for all of it. Standing up, I placed the contents of the package into the filter, and carefully placed them into the holder and slid it into the machine. This seems too easy, I smiled and pushed the 'on' button, smiling as the machine started making horrible grinding sounds.

"I can only hope that's normal," I said under my breathe. Seeing containers of sugars and creams, I tried to remember how many the man had asked for. Glancing at my notepad, I squinted at my scribbled writing.

Is that a three or an eight? Figuring no one in their right mind would ever want eight sugars in their coffee, I grabbed three along with two creams and headed back out to my cranky customer.

"Excuse me sir," I placed the coffee condiments on his table and spoke apologetically. "I'm really sorry, but it will be about three minutes for your-"

"Lindsey!!" I heard Karla's voice frantically calling me.

"-coffee. Excuse me again." I left the man before he could speak up, running back to the station. To my horror, I found I'd brewed the coffee all right, but had forgotten one little part: placing the coffee pot underneath the filter. My eyes watched as a small stream of coffee ran down the machine, where it splattered and sizzled on the coffee pot warmer.

"Don't just stand there- clean it up." Karla snapped at me. I immediately grabbed the coffee pot and stuck it under the stream of coffee. To my dismay, coffee had spilled all down the machine, cabinet beneath it, and created a small, black puddle on the floor. Seeing no other options, I grabbed a stack of napkins off the counter and started wiping off the counter.

"No!" Karla grabbed my wrist, scolding me. "Those are for the customers. Use this rag." She tossed a dirty rag in front of me.

"I-i'm sorry." I stuttered, trying not to cry. Tears welled up in my eyes as I quietly wiped up the mess, including what was on the floor. Not knowing what else to do with the rag, I took it back to the kitchen and threw it with the dirty ones from the kitchen. My first positive act of the day was to grab a pasta salad out of the refrigerator on my way out.

At least he'll get his food faster, and not want to kill me.. as much. I thought sullenly. Pausing at the coffee machine, I grabbed a cup of decaf and set it on a tray with the pasta salad. With a tight smile, I lifted the tray to my abdomen, not feeling secure enough to lift it over my shoulder like I saw all the other waitresses doing.

"I'm really sorry for the wait on this, Sir." I spoke up to the man as I approached his table.

"Ten minutes for a cup of coffee." He shook his head as I stared at him, surprised.

Was I gone that long? My heart sank.

"I'm really sorry." I repeated, carefully placing the cup of decaf in front of him. "It's really hot, so be careful. Here's your salad as well."

"Oh.." The man looked up at me with surprise. I hugged my tray to my stomach in fear that he'd yell at me again. Instead, his face broke into the first smile I'd received all day.

"Thank you. That was quick."

"You-you're welcome. Is there anything else I can get you?" I relaxed.

"Some silverware would be nice." I laughed nervously as he frowned slightly again.

"Oh! I'm sorry about that!" I covered my hand over my mouth to hide my laughing. "I can't believe I forgot. Be right back."

Oops. At least Jamie won't ever make me wait tables for him again- that's about the only good thing that will come out of this, was the only positive thought I could think of at the moment. Grabbing a napkin wrapped with silverware, I jumped at a hand on my arm. Whirling around, I bit my lip at the angry look on Karla's face.

"Were you actually planning on waiting on the couple in table six, or just have them sit here all day?" She asked me. "I normally wouldn't mention it on your first day, but they've asked me several times where their server is. This time, make your announcement as their server a little more formal, please, rather than apologizing five thousand times."

".. I'm sorry." I replied quietly, biting my lip and grabbing two more sets of silverware and setting them on my tray. Dashing out to the floor, I first handed a set to the man and headed over to table six.

More formal.. Karla's words echoed in my head.

"Hi, I'm Lindsey and I'll be your server today. I'm terribly sorry about the wait, it's my first time serving. We unfortunately don't have any specials today, just our normal selections. Would you care for anything to drink while you decide your order?" Keeping my eyes focused on my tray, I had no idea where that speech came from, but hey, it didn't sound half-bad. Reaching up to my forehead, I wiped away the small beads of sweat that were starting to form.

At least I can tell Mom that I got the rest of my workout tonight.

"I think we're ready to order, now." An incredibly familiar male voice spoke up at me.

"Yeah." Another familiar voice, this one female, snapped at me. "We had enough time to decide."

"I'm really sorry." Phrase of the day. Finally taking my eyes from my tray, grabbing their silverware sets. As I gasped slightly at who was sitting in front of me, the silverware slipped from my fingers, clanging loudly on the floor. My heart sank for the second time today.

"Ok.. Zac, Sam."

As if this day could get any worse.