Not Nervous

Oh shit, am I nervous right now.

That's pretty obvious, retard, I reminded myself, checking my appearance in the mirror for what seemed the hundredth time.

I look terrible.. What am I so nervous about!? It's not like we were on a date.. Oh, God I said that word - it must mean I'm on a date. But then again.. it's Zac.

How could I ever be serious about him? I remembered his elated voice on the phone when I picked it up. Of course he was elated - I'd finally broken down. Worse, he had to go and pick a fancy restaurant to eat at too.. Nooo, Mr. Hanson had to suggest I wear something nice. I hate nice clothes. Nice, in my dictionary, means uncomfortable.

Then again, a plastic garbage bag might be the only thing less appealing I could wear in front of Zac, for all he'd seen him in were my warm up sweats. I'd seen him at the gym every day for the last two weeks. One might almost call it a coincidence, huh? He'd casually mention getting together, and 'oh- look at the time!' I'd remind him, rushing out again.

But eventually, Zac caught up with me. Didn't help that the dirty little bastard knew which car was mine in the health club parking lot. I'm fairly sure the 'If We Were Able to Send One Man to the Moon, Why Can't we Send Them All?' bumper sticker didn't really hide it that well, not to mention the pure hideous sight of Louise (illegally parked as well).

Maggie- I'm not letting you get out of this so easily. I'm calling you tomarrow night to arrange plans for Friday, I know your free then -Zac.

That was the nice little message I'd found stuck under my windshield wiper after work. Scared me at first; I thought I'd gotten another ticket. In general, my view on speeding is not that I am disobeying the laws and driving too fast, I'm just trying to keep up with time, of which I'm always behind. Parking? Well, as long as I get to my end destination on time, then where I park is all relative. Unfortunately, the Tulsa police did not sympathize with my incredible ability to be late for almost everything in my life..

Ok, you're rambling again. That must mean you're nervous. I'm never nervous!! I cried to the ongoing battle inside my head. No, I'm not schizophrenic- I could only be so lucky, then I could blank out and cancel my it's-not-really-a-date-date.

"Maggie? Are you ok up there?" Gerald asked me from the living room. I thundered down the stairs in response, being careful to step on my toes, as opposed to my heels.

"Yeah, why?"

"You screamed something." I heard him reply as I stood in front of them in all my glamour.

"I'm ok.." Was I talking outloud?

"... WHAT!?" Gerald and Karen sat on the living room couch, staring at me as if I'd grown another head.

"It's just-- you look nice," Karen smiled meekly, as if she didn't recognize me. Her eyes searched up and down the outfit I'd chosen, a short, simple but elegant (in my fashion unconscience mind it was elegant) black dress. It was comfortable, but not too tight that I wouldn't be able to breathe when I sat down. Worst of all, I wore heels. Not that they were mine, I'd stolen them from Karen's supply. Normally I'm tall enough as it is, at 5'9, but for some reason they'd seemed ok earlier... at least they weren't platform shoes. I'd never stoop that low.. I mean high. Crap, I'm rambling again.

"Who are you and what did you do with our daughter?" Gerald joked in a demanding voice.

"Thanks for the support," I laughed anyway, assuring myself it was not nervous laughter.

"So who's the guy? I want to kiss his feet when he gets here," Karen joined in Mission: Humiliate Maggie. So far it seemed to be a rousing success.

"And why's that?" I indignantly stuck my hands on my hips, shifting my weight over to one foot.

Now I remember why I don't go out on Saturday nights.

"Any guy who could make you dress like that is an absolute saint." She winked at me knowingly. I stuck a sexy pose, just for them.

"Sorry to spoil the ending, but it's just a friend." I assured them, standing up normally.

And friends don't date.. so I'm not actually on a date. So why was I the hardest one to convince otherwise?

"Is he in one of your classes? We need to meet him first." Gerald's protective nature kicked in.

"Nope, I met him at the health club." Wow, they didn't see that one coming. I could've danced a samba across the banister and gotten more of a reaction from them. Whoever said silence was golden must've had ten times the sarcasm I did. I had actually shocked my parents so they couldn't come back with anything.

I'll have to remember that one, I was rather impressed with myself. I couldn't remember the last time they'd even seen me in the presence of another guy rather than relatives, so I guess I couldn't blame them.

"The .. club?" Gerald had heard my complaints about the men there.. or rather lack of men and presence of perverted, yet highly-developed, baboons in spandex as I liked to call them.

"I thought you hated the men there." Karen agreed, a worried frown wrinkling her forehead. "You aren't dating that Joe character, are you?"

"Oh, god no." Give me a little credit.

"I have a brain - that's puts me twice ahead of him. Zac isn't like most of the guys in the club.. he's actually rather intelligent."

"How old is he?" Gerald asked, fears of his little girl dating a forty year-old man probably dancing through his head.

"That's the thing.. he's only seventeen. 'Only seventeeeeennn!!' "I sang out.

"Isn't that illegal?" Karen asked. I couldn't tell if she was kidding or not.

"Only if I have sex with him." Ok, that was one too far. Fearing my parents would develop coronaries, I quickly added,

"Which of course I won't. He's a friend I used to know before high school; we're just going to catch up."

"Well, we trust you.." Karen said. I smiled; they'd always be supportive. "But.."

"Umm.. Maggie?" She wrinkled up her nose. On my side or not, I could also count on them to pick on me. She stood up and walked over towards me slowly, sniffing the air.

".. Yeah?" I said cautiously, fearing either another attack or the fact she was walking toward me, sniffing. Maybe a combination of both.

"Are you wearing perfume?" Great, now get Dad sniffing the air too.

"Just a little bit." I stiffened.

"Oh! It smells beautiful." Karen reassured me. "I'm just not used to you smelling like anything other than a sweat sock."

That was actually original; I was proud of her for that one. And it only took how many years of living with me to rub off on her? Well, technically, I actually hadn't been so bad with commentating everything except for the last year or so.. but it was about time she caught up with me. Gerald, well we'd have to wait a few more years.

"Not bad, I'll give it an 8.0." I grinned at her. "Have you seen my purse?" I asked in a high squeaky voice, prancing around the rug.

"Wait.. I don't own a purse. Nevermind then."

"Well, she's still our Maggie underneath." Gerald came over and squeezed my arm. Peering at me curiously, he inquired,

"Are you wearing.. make-up? I didn't know you owned any."

"Ok, one too many jokes now" I held up my hands in mock defense. "You've just forfeited the right to embarrass me when he's actually here.."

Ding dong. Uh-oh.

"Speak of the devil.." Karen smiled sweetly at me and walked towards the door. I grabbed my coat from it's place on the rack near the front door, jogged by her, rushed out the door and quickly slammed it behind me.

"Hi," Zac said, surprised at my hurridied entrance. Oh, did he ever look good, in a blue tailored shirt and a pair of khakis. Forget garbage bags.

"Hi," I smiled up at him.

"Wow,.. you look-wow," was all he said, checking me out.

"Well, don't get used to it." I smiled. "Just call it a favor for a friend."

Yes.. friend. I'm too old for Zac, I reminded myself as he walked me down the front sidewalk.

"So who's car are we taking?" I looked at his Jeep Cherokee parked next to my rusty old tin can of a car in our driveway.

"There's no way in hell I'm going to be seen in that thing, let alone driving it." Zac pointed.

"Louise gets great gas mileage," I explained meekly.

"Right, I'm sure.." He held the door open for me. "Get in already."

Ooh, quite the romantic one. I could tell this might actually be an interesting evening.