It's Ok

(Author's Note: This chapter is from Sarah's perspective.)

"Hey," I breathed lightly at the sight of my ex-boyfriend in the front lobby. I'd watched for a few seconds as he shifted his weight uncomfortably and took a few impatience steps back and forth before deciding to announce my presence. Curiosity towards the firmness in his voice helped me sum up enough courage to walk from the open elevator doors to a few feet in front of him.

"Hey yourself. You look nice." I appreciated the warm approval of my appearance, something I hadn't gotten from a man in what seemed like months. However, it's hard to feel attractive when you've gained twenty-two and a half pounds in the last six months, of which all weight concentrated in your stomach. Didn't help that most clothes for pregnant women strangely resembled variations of the 1960's-style moomoos. Shuddering at the thought, I chose to shop in the 'Plus Sizes' department, as they were called. Although not much more flattering, I thought I looked ok in black. It's a slimming color.

"Thanks Isaac." I replied softly, checking him out as well. A fondness of brown went way back with Ike, but the soft earth tones in his sweater enhanced the richness in his eyes.

"So.." I tried light conversation. "Where are we headed to?"

"Would you mind if we went to the U-Cup?" He mentioned one of my favorite coffee houses.

"No, that would be great. I haven't been there in months.. but I won't be drinking much coffee." I added, surprised when he held the door open for me. I'd forgotten how polite the Hanson brothers had been raised.

A nice surprise from the lump that has accumulated on your living room couch for the last few weeks, a little voice in my head reminded me.

"U-Cup it is." 'U,' standing for University, was about fifteen miles north of Tulsa. Ironically, it was located on the campus of the school Isaac attended. I'd first been charmed by the place when first coming across it when searching for colleges, immediately taking a liking to the dark, smoky atmosphere, usually crammed with procrastinating students on any night of the week.

"Thanks for rescheduling this night on me." I turned toward him.

Two weeks late, in fact.

"Hey, if you have to work, you have to work." I threw him a weak smile. Work hadn't kept me from seeing Issac, Mark staying up late keeping his eye on me had.

"Um, yeah. So.. what's new in your life?" I asked him as we climbed into his car.

Why are you back in mine? I really wanted to ask. Not that I minded his company, he was a very sweet person, but I'm a firm believer in keeping the past in.. well, the past of course. Old wounds can bleed just as much as fresh cuts.

"Not much." He replied, casually glancing at me in the passenger's seat.

"I bet you're wondering why I wanted to meet you." Leave it to Isaac not to beat around the corner.

"Well, I'll admit I was surprised to hear from you." I smiled. The look I received was a mix of emotions: sympathy, compassion.. sadness?

"I won't leave you hanging. Mom called me the other day. We talked for awhile and your name came up."

Great, his mother's worried about me now. I sat quietly, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Sarah, do .. This is hard for me to say, and I'm sure I'm the last person you want to hear this from, but I'm worried about you." He focused all his attention on the road in front of him as he pulled into the highway entrance ramp and mumbled those words to me.

"Issac," I interrupted. "I'm really ok."

Why is it so hard for people to believe that?

"Sarah, as a friend that cares, I don't want you to be in trouble."

"I'm not in trouble." I couldn't understand where the pity was coming from, but I certainly didn't appreciate it.

"Sarah," he tried again, his voice sounding thin. "Do you love Mark?"

"What the hell do you know about Mark?" I asked him, my voice and anger rising with each word. "How dare you pry into my personal life."

"I know it's none of my business, but-"

"That's right, it isn't any of your business." I spoke firmly but calmly.

"Sarah, I still care about you." He threw me a desperate glance. I stared blankly at the reflection of the neon clock numbers in his dark pupils.

"As your friend." he quickly added.

"Ike, why are you doing this?"

".. I want you to be happy."

"You don't believe I am?" I said quietly, tears burning the corners of my eyes. He didn't answer me right away.

"No, I don't." He finally admitted.

"Look, your heart is in the right place," I reached over and placed my hand on his shoulder gently. "But this is my life. I'm sorry, but you just can't come into it and tell me what to do."

"Mark is wrong for you." He blurted out.

"How do you know that? Have you ever met the guy?" I asked him pointedly, my eyes narrowing. Sure, though not in his best shape right now, Mark was still a decent guy. I slid my hand off his shoulder and held up my ring finger in front of his face.

"Look. It's a promise. I love Mark and we're going to get married. There's nothing that can change that."

"Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" I swallowed, not expecting that comment.

How'd he get so smart?

"Isaac, contrary to the start of tonight, I did have a good time." I said my good-byes to him outside the apartment building.

"Can't I walk you to your apartment?" His pleasant manners seemed more of a curse at the moment then friendly gestures.

"Thanks for the offer, but my fiancée is probably sleeping right now. I wouldn't want to wake him up."

"Sleeping?" He looked at his watch. "It's only 9:45."

"He gets tired easily." I replied meekly.

Gets tired, passes out, same thing.

"Just let me walk you to your door. As a friend." He held out his arm chivalrously. After being nice to treat me out tonight, not to mention accepting my earlier arguments and sweetly promising not to interfere anymore, I couldn't bear to inflict any more pain on the poor guy than I already had. It seemed so easy to let my guard down around Issac.

"Well.. alright." I agreed reluctantly, slipping my hand on his arm. I caught the familiar scent of CkBe, surprised I hadn't noticed it earlier.

"Ike.. your cologne.." I started to ask.

"Yup," he answered my unasked question, that being 'Is that the kind I gave you on our first Christmas together?' I couldn't believe he'd kept it, let alone the fact I remembered the smell.

"You're so sweet." I smiled at him as we waited for the elevator.

"You deserve it." The impact of his words didn't hit me right away. I don't think he intended on saying them, for an embarrassed shade of pink flushed across his cheeks seconds later as he realized what came out of his mouth. His eyes stared nervously into mine, the awkward sixteen year-old boyfriend I'd loved long ago revealing itself in the man that stood before me.

"Thanks for the compliment." I tried to let him believe I'd taken it as just that as we stepped into the dark elevator. I mean, how seriously attracted to me right now- a beached whale of a girl?

One who's taken, I reminded myself. No whaling allowed here.

"What floor?" he asked, looking relieved at the change of a subject.

"Fifth."

If I'd have known what would've been waiting for us when the doors opened, I would've said fourth and taken the stairs after he'd left. We waited in silence, watching the lighting behind the numbers change from 'G' to '5.' Before the quiet ping of the elevator bell, I embraced him in a small hug. Overly concerned or not, it felt good to have someone care about me. Although standing rigid at first, as I clung to him I felt his body relax and one of his strong arms slide up around my shoulders, while the other gently rubbed my back. The elevator doors opened with us still embracing, and to my horror-

"What in God-damned fuckin' hell is going on here!?!" The angry voice of my beloved yelled at us. Surprised, not to mention feeling a little guilty, I jumped away from Isaac.

"Isaac, this is Mark." I mumbled to him, dropping my head and looking down at the floor. I started to walk out of the elevator when Mark roughly grabbed my wrists and yanked me towards him. Nearly tripping, I caught the heavy smell of alcohol on him.

Shit, not again. Not here. Not now.

"Git over here. I'll talk to you later, Bitch." He snapped, glaring deeply into my eyes. For being drunk, his dark brown eyes were able to focus quite clearly on me. I shuddered in fear- I'd never seen such hatred built up inside anyone before.

"Don't talk to her like-" "Isaac, it's ok." I interrupted loudly, sending him a look to be silent. I noticed, fear rising in me, that Mark's fists squeezed my wrists even tighter with each word I said.

"Shut up!!" he yelled at me. My wrists were burning, I could feel the bones grinding against the tendons sharply under his fingers. The alcohol stench on his breath started to make me dizzy, my eyes watered with tears and I couldn't keep my shoulders from shaking.

"Mark-" Isaac interrupted again, not able to ignore the panicked look on my face. He grabbed his shoulder and tried to shake him off of me. To my horror, Mark dropped my wrists quickly, threw me to the ground, and swung his fists around at Ike. Although shorter in height, Mark was considerably stronger than him, even if a little tipsy. His knuckles impacted Isaac's cheekbone, right below his eye. Taken off guard, as well as not being much of a fighter I guessed, Isaac fell onto the soft carpet of the hallway.

"Isaac!" I scrambled up from my place on the floor, trying to prevent the inevitable from occurring.

"Bitch! Fuckin' around on me, aren't you?" I stopped cold in my tracks when I heard Mark turn on me again. I closed my eyes as he turned around and smacked the back of his hand against my cheek. The loud snap echoed in my ears, as well as the pull in my neck as my head was thrown sideways; other than that I refused to move. I kept my eyes closed and head hanging down, rivers of tears stinging my cheek as they dripped down to my chin.

"Sarah-" I opened my eyes and saw a blurry sight of Ike standing up.

"It's ok." I whispered repeatedly. "It's ok.. it's.. ok."

Just leave.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Mark yelled at him, clenching his fists together again. "She's my wife!!"

"Mark!" I screamed as loudly as I could at him.

"Stop it!" Ignoring the ever-increasing pain in my hands, I threw myself against his back, afraid he might take another swing at Ike.

"Nothing happened, Baby," I spoke in a soothing voice, rubbing his back with my shaking hand. My lower lip trembled furiously as my tears flooded over my sight.

"He's just a friend.. I love you."

"A friend?" He calmed down and turned towards me.

"Yes.. I love you." I repeated slowly. He grabbed my other hand roughly.

"If you're fuckin' with me here.." he growled. I tried not to wince as he squeezed my fingers tightly.

"I'm not." I assured him.

"I love you.. Isaac, get out of here!" I glared at him for witnessing the entire event. I couldn't even feel sorry for his face, which was starting to swell.

It was his own damn fault for interfering.

"Sarah-" he reached an arm towards me

"Get out of here!" I repeated, feeling like I was yelling at one of the stubborn raccoons that used to pick through our garbage late at night.

"GO!" I pointed towards the elevator, curling my body away from his outstretched hand.

Like a dog with its tail tuck between its legs, he retreated towards the elevator. I'll never forget the hatred and disgust that burned in his eyes before the doors closed in front of him- not at Mark; they was directed at me. I ignored it at the moment and focused back on Mark.

"It's ok sweetie.." I continued rubbing his back lightly. "Let's go back home."