All Star

"No way." I shook my head firmly back and forth, my eyes glazed over with fear. I took a few steps back before Taylor grabbed my arm.

"But you promised, Maggie.." He objected, a small pout forming on his lips.

"You never said this was going to be Woodstock 2000." I said flatly, pointing to the mess that lay before us.

"It's all part of the fun, Babe." As if on cue, a ray of sunlight sparkled in his eyes and a small breeze tossed a few strands of his hair against his cheek. A sinking feeling hit my stomach as I watched, mesmerized by the simple movement of his hand as he reached it up and distractedly pushed at the fly away locks of gold.

This is so not fair.

"All right." With a childish pout on my lips, I relented for the second time today. Funny, it was so much harder to say no to Taylor in person. I made a mental note to avoid him, no matter how much I loved the guy, the next time a favor came out of his mouth.

"You're the best." Taylor reached out and squeezed my shoulder lightly.

"You forgot to ask me one thing though." Squinting up at him, I reached my hand to my forehead so I could shade my eyes from the bright summer sunlight.

"What's that?"

"If I can play volleyball.."

"Wait a minute." He stared at me. "You do know how to play, right?"

"Of course she does!" A feminine voice rallied to my side. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was, but greeted Sarah with a smile as she came up behind us.

"Are you sure about that? Volleyball takes a bit of coordination." Ahh, welcome to our little group Zac. "Quite frankly, I've seen her dance before. It's not a pretty sight."

"Hey!" I frowned at him, before retorting in a sarcastic voice, "That almost hurt.."

"Almost, huh?" He grinned at me.

"Yep. Not the most supportive team member, are you?"

"You could say that. Oh, that reminds me." Zac snapped his fingers together. "Our team name."

"What about it?" Ike asked, joining us.

"We need one." Zac clarified for the whole group.

"Do we have to?"

"Yes, we do."

"Why?"

"Because.." He didn't seem to have an answer on that question.

"Because why?" Far be it for me not to challenge someone. I had to get Zac back for that coordination comment any way.

"So we're more like a team, I don't know!" He threw up his hands in frustration. "That's what the judges told me."

"I thought you were the one who wasn't supportive of team members.. " I pointed out. "I think we've got a little hypocrite on our side."

"That's not the point!!"

"Fudder Muckers." Five heads turned toward Craig at the first opening of his mouth. Instantly, Sarah's blue eyes rolled at the suggestion. I frowned, confused at what it meant.

Did he say Fudder Muckers? Big surprise: I don't get it.

"Fudder Muckers?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He laughed loudly, his shoulders bouncing. "I didn't hear any other suggestions."

"I don't-" I started to say when Taylor cut me off.

"That's great!" He slapped Craig on the back. With nods of agreement from Ike and Zac, another roll of the eyes and a muttered "whatever" from Sarah, it was decided. I guess I should've been blonde: I still didn't get it. But I didn't have much time to think about it, for I noticed a large group of people gathering at the edge of the mudpits. Gesturing in their direction, Taylor turned and nudged me in that direction. I walked by his side over to the larger group in silence.

After a small spiel about the volleyball tournament's set up, I was relieved to find out that our team wasn't playing in the first round. It also gave me a chance to check out our competition and ease into the whole mud situation.

"Now.. Let us pray."

I raised my head at the suggestion. Feeling awkward, I bowed it over my clasped hands. Not from a religious family, I'd actually never been to church for religious reasons other than Ike and Sarah's wedding. Mom and Dad let me know I could choose whatever religion I wanted, but so far I'm still existing somewhat peacefully on this planet and I haven't converted yet, not to mention a little slacking in looking into the whole religion thing. So in a nutshell, it hadn't happened yet. Like right now for example:

Please.. let me live through this, was the only thing that rang through my mind. After mouthing "Amen," I headed over to the set of canopies set up near the mud pits, assuming they were for the old people to sit under and laugh at us young little whipper-snappers making complete asses of ourselves.

At least for now I'll join in their fun, I thought, taking a seat near close to the middle court. People seemed to have gotten over the shyness of getting muddy, not to mention the fact that four teams were forced to play first: more of them streamed out into the black oozy lake that lay before me.

"Mind if I join you?" Cranking my head around, I glanced up and got an eyeful of sunlight.

"Yeah, whoever you are." I rubbed my eyes. "That is, if you don't mind sitting next to a blind person."

"Not a problem, silly." Sarah bumped her shoulder against mine as she plopped down next to me. "How's it going?"

"Could be better, considering.." my voice trailing, I lifting my arm to gesture at the scene in front of us: by this time, dozens of kids were running amuck (ha ha ha, all right, terrible joke.. sorry) all over the place, screaming, chucking mud at each other, doing basically everything but playing volleyball.

"Considering what?" By the over-innocent tone of her voice, I immediately knew she was kidding.

"Considering I'm about to become the Creature of the Mud Lagoon, that's all." With a small laugh, I tucked my legs underneath me in an Indian-style position, distractedly rubbing spots of dirt off the pads of my feet.

"You're going to love this." She promised me.

"How on earth would you know? Are you leading some double life on me here?" Raising my eyebrows suggestively at her, I also shook my head and clicked my tongue before continuing:

"Sarah Jacobs .. I had no idea.. Now mud wrestling I can see, but not volleyball."

"Oh, shut up." She pushed my shoulder roughly, nearly knocking me into a nearby pole. As I steadied myself with my hand, I groaned at the thought of how embarrassing it would've been to send the canopy overhead us tumbling down. The last thing I needed today was a mob of angry, religious old people against me. Sighing, I settled down in my place. I didn't have anything else to do but wait.

.. Or I could eat. At that thought, I jumped up.

"Sarah, I'm going to grab some food." I announced to her.

"Ok, you should. It's been like fifteen minutes with you not eating; that's gotta be some new record for you."

"Ha ha. Notice me not laughing." I retorted. "You want anything?"

"How about a soda?"

"Now what do we say?" Putting my hands on my hips, I took a condescending, motherly tone out on her.

"Oh yeah. Now." She corrected herself with a smug smile.

"Thanks. I feel so loved."

"Well, you should. Aren't you leaving yet?" She asked pointedly.

"Ok, ok!" I retreated with a jog over to the food table. My mouth started watering at the plates of freshly-grilled hot dogs and hamburgers that awaited me. My eyes also picked up on the stack of double-fudge brownies right next to the ketchup bottle.

Mmm..

"Everything looks great," I told the same two women who were still busy setting up the table. They whirled around quickly at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, goodness." One of them started, sending a worried look to the other one. "We weren't expecting people to be eating so quickly."

"Well, I'm a special case, if you don't mind." I grinned and picked up a paper plate. After piling it high with goodies, I thanked them, grabbed two cans of pop from a nearby ice chest, and walked back to Sarah. When I reached her, I was surprised to see her stripping off her T-shirt, revealing a bright pink bikini top. I couldn't help but notice that she'd kept her shorts on though.

"Hey, you going to tan or something?" I asked her, feeling a little confused. It was certainly sunny enough to tan, but I had no clue as to why she'd want to.

"Tan? No." She gave me a funny look. "We're up on court one in two minutes."

"What!?" My eyes widened. "But... I didn't even get a chance to eat yet."

"Cut the 'feel sorry for me' crap." She laughed, bending over her bag and pulling out a bottle of suntan lotion. "Besides, there will be plenty of time for you to eat after our first game. We're only playing to eleven points, best scores out of two games anyway."

"Oh goody." I set my plate on the ground with a scowl. It didn't leave my face as I held out my hand for some lotion and she squirted a goopy white blob into my palm.

"Cheer up. You'll love this." She assured me.

Like hell I will.

Schlurp.

That was the disgusting sound that erupted between my toes as I pushed them firmly into the mud. Almost instantly, my entire foot and half my lower leg was sucked down into the goopy substance. It felt cool, sticky, and rubbery against my skin, making me shudder.

Yuck. I made a face as I lifted my right foot out and noticed it smeared with a dark gray residue, spotted with dark clumps of mud still clinging to my skin.

Imagine the sound a ketchup bottle makes when it's empty, but you know you can still get that last teaspoon out if you squeeze hard enough. It was like the time my cousin had placed under a whoopee cushion on my seat at a family reunion, which of course I hadn't noticed, much to the delight of the little brat. My feet made that sound every time I tried picking them up to take a step. Notice I said tried to pick them up, this mud was almost as bad as quicksand. I nearly fell over sideways from yanking so hard on my feet, only to have them submersed in the icky substance again at each step.

Schlurp... Schlurp.

"This is so cool!" Sarah cried, jumping around like I'd imagine a three year-old doing so in her position. I wished I could share some of her enthusiasm, but couldn't quite bring myself up to that level.

Wonder why.. I thought sarcastically, stepping away from her, noticing bits of mud flying out from her dancing feet. I was surprised she could move so quickly, I seemed to be sucked down deeper than her and it still took a bit of effort to move my feet.

What's her secret?

"Careful, you almost kicked mud all over me." I pointed out crossly.

"Maggie, how's this for mud?" Someone behind me asked.

"What?" I turned around.

Whump!

"Uhhh..." I groaned as a heavy slop of mud hit me directly in the stomach. As I reached my arms around my middle in a clutch, my eyes glared at those around me.

That actually hurt.

"Now who did that!?" I demanded in a high-pitched squeak of a voice.

"It's just a little mud, Babe." Taylor pointed out, leading me to guess suspiciously that it'd been him. "It'll wash off in a few seconds."

"You know, Mags, you might want to remove that stick from your ass before you try playing volleyball." Zac laughed in my direction.

"That is," Taylor chimed in with a laugh. "If you can play."

"God damnit!" I screamed at both of them, clenching my fists. I wasn't sure if they were being more obnoxious than usual, but did someone name this Gang Up on Maggie Day and not tell me? It was situations like this that added to my insecurities- pardon my pun, but Zac had a heckuva lot of dirt on me, given our past together. Him plus Taylor were definitely an unfair advantage over me.

All right.. Pushing down on my feet as hard as I could, I charged directly at Taylor. With all my strength, I slammed into him with my shoulder and knocked him down. With a loud smack he landed on his back into the mud. I giggled with delight at the shocked expression on his face as he was sucked downward.

"Way to go, Mags!" Zac made the mistake of cheering me on.

"Oh, it's your turn next." Warning him with a glare that he was in for the same thing, I spun around and took a step in his direction. Unfortunately, I didn't get further than that first step, for a cold, slimy hand circled around my ankle and tugged me backward. Loosing my sense of balance, I tumbled into the mud next to Taylor. If I thought it was gross against my legs, having the feel of mud go up my shorts was a thousand times worse. I, unlike Sarah, hadn't thought to wear a bathing suit underneath my clothes.

Scratch one pair of white granny-style underwear; I'll never be able to wear these again.

"Taylor!" I screamed my discomfort at him. My hand shaking with rage, I picked up a handful of mud and threw it at him. It felt mildly relieving to watch it land on the side of his neck and drip down. I reached over, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and pushed the pile of mud down inside, before patting it against his stomach nicely.

Ha, take that.

"Now you're asking for it." I cringed at the low-toned threat. Holding my hands up in defense, I wished I had a white flag to indicate a surrender.

Too bad my underwear's now black. Not that it would've done any good, but I could dream: Taylor picked up a small handful of mud and slammed it right into my face. Keeping my eyes shut, I felt the slimy feeling of water dripping down over my cheeks. I reached my hands up and rubbed the mud away, feeling the tiny grains of dirt and rocks in the corners of my eyes, in my nose, but worst of all, between my teeth.

Well, it certainly doesn't taste like chicken.

"When we get home, you're dead." I pointed my index finger at him and threatened, wiping my eyes gently with my mud-tipped fingers. I knew that he'd be able to beat me now if I tried again with the mud; it was just a matter of time I had to spend holding this whole humiliating experience over his head. I still couldn't believe I was sitting in seven inches of mud. Glancing down, I saw that it came up to my stomach. Groaning, I stood up and tried to brush some of the mud off my now-black shorts and bottom half of my T-shirt, without much luck.

Meanwhile, I'm sure Sarah, Ike, Craig, and Zac were all enjoying this, for they were laughing their asses off at us. However, we weren't here for Taylor and me to play in the mud, although I could think of better activities to do with my time on a Sunday morning, and Sarah spoke up, reminding me of that:

"Are you guys here to play in the mud, or are we going to play volleyball?" She asked, pointing across the net. Looking in that direction, I noticed there was our opponents, standing around in a circle and passing the ball to each other. Fortunately, not more than two hits made it continuously through the group; the oldest one looked about fourteen too.

"Aww.. We can take them." I winked at her.

"Whatever. Let's just warm up a little, ok?" As soon as the sentence left her mouth, a shrill whistle blew through the air.

"Let's get started!" An man adorned in Hawaii-print shorts and a tank top revealing a bulging belly cried outloud. I guessed by the stance he took at the middle of the courts that he was our line judge.

So much for practicing.

"All right," the judge continued. "Now, at least two females have to play each game, and no more than five people on a court at one time, but you can rotate players in on the serve."

"We're good," Taylor whispered to me. "All we have is two girls."

"Yeah," I griped in response. "We have to play all the time. You guys get a break."

"Hey, it's not all bad." He leaned over and kissed the tip of my nose lightly, before making a face and pretending to spit on the ground.

"What gives?" I asked him.

"Sorry, just got a mouthful of mud."

Grr.. He'd fooled me into thinking he was sweet again.

"Well, ya know," I replied, sarcasm dripping in my voice. "If someone hadn't throw it in my face..."

"Whatever, let's play already." With that, Taylor stripped off his muddy shirt, revealing an incredibly pasty-white, thin stomach, and took a place at the front, near the net.

"Hey Tay," Zac said as he joined him. "Is it your plan to blind the other team because you're so white?"

"Shut up, I said let's play already."

"Sounds good to me." Sarah replied cheerfully, placing herself between the two of them.

Guess that leaves me with the back. I figured, taking a place behind Taylor. Craig filled in the empty blank on my left.

"You serve first." The line judge tossed me the ball, and I missed catching it completely. One thing about mud: it sure doesn't bounce things off it. Instead, our now-darkened volleyball was spinning like mad in the first spot it'd landed, near my feet. Tiny freckles of mud streaked down my Tshirt where I'd been splattered from it's impact. Sighing, I leaned over and picked it up.

"Here goes nothing." I muttered, raising the ball at arm's length up in front of me. After shaking a little of the mud off it, I tossed it lightly with my left hand, lifting my right back behind my head. As I pushed it forward, the base of my palm struck the ball quickly and sent it flying, just barely over the net. In fact, it hit one of our opponents right in the face: the poor kid didn't see it coming either. He immediately sat down in the mud and started crying.

Oh, dear God, I did not just do that.

"All right Maggie!" Craig cheered for me, walking over and slapping me a high five. As I distractedly brushed my fingers against his, I felt terrible.

"Way to 'take them out'." Sarah snickered at me, turning her head away from the net.

"I didn't mean literally." I mumbled in response. Fortunately, the kid wasn't hurt though: he picked himself up and nodded he was ok to the line judge. At that, the ball was tossed over to me again.

If this is the start of our game, we're in trouble.

As the game progressed, it became obvious who was going to win: I never left the serving position. I also had managed not to bonk any other kids off with the ball as well, but poor Ike didn't get much of a chance to play this round. He did a great job of standing and preventing the grass from growing on the side of the court underneathe his ass, though. If only it'd taken more than one hit from our side to score a point; an actual volley hadn't broken out yet between us. It took about seven points before the kids were able to start hitting the ball back. I'd felt so bad that I'd switched to serving the ball underhanded to be easier on them.

"Ten serving zero." I announced.

"Game point." With a light tap of my hand, I sent it to the fourteen year-old. He'd also been the only one to return the ball so far, unsuccessfully over the net but I've gotta give the kid credit for trying. But this time he was in triumph, managing to hit the ball open-fisted and send it flying back over the net. Unfortunately, everyone on our team was so surprised it went over that we stood there, frozen.

"That's in the front!" I cried as the whole row just watched it come up and over toward them. Seeing none of them step in the direction of the ball and it being closer to me than Craig, who appeared just as dumbfounded as the others, I gritted my teeth and tried for it. But the mud stuck close to my feet, slowing me down greatly in my tracks.

This isn't working.. I'm not going to get there fast enough!

Not wanting to give up, I took my only option: diving. I wasn't afraid to do it while playing on the team through high school, but this was gave new meaning to the phrase "hit the dirt," being a little too close for comfort. Literally.

A split second after my hands connected with the ball, my stomach hit the mud and I slid like riding an old Slip 'N Slide a few feet. Gasping, I got another mouthful of mud in the process. But my sacrifice for the team was worth it, I glanced up and watched the ball hit the mud on the other side of the net. Our team immediately erupted into cheers. Ok, so it was an easy win, a one-sided game. But it was a win, nonetheless.

One at my expense, of all people. I added in my head, picking myself up. Still, mud aside, it felt pretty damn good.

Glancing down, I groaned at my appearance. It probably didn't matter at this point whether I was wearing clothes or not: I was covered nearly from head to toe in pure, blackened goo. But like I said, mud aside, it felt pretty damn good.