Vin Tanner sighed, and stretched. His favorite way to wake up in the morning involved being wrapped around his lover, Ezra Standish. He loved snuggling in close, enjoying the feel of a soft feather mattress under him, and the warm, smooth skin next to his own. The faint scent of sandalwood and lavender soothing his senses, letting him know all was right with the world. His second favorite way to wake was finding Ezra wrapped around him, cradling him in a strong, yet gentle hold, making him feel safe and well cared for. Much further down on the list was the way he woke this morning, on the ground, in his bedroll, alone.

Over the past month, Vin had come to hate sleeping alone. He found that on his own, he only slept lightly, waking intermittently, unable to relax his guard completely. He missed the soft sound of Ezra’s regular breathing, the feel of his warm skin, and the knowledge that the gambler would be on guard when Vin wasn’t. On his own, he felt the need to be constantly vigilant. Before hooking up with Ezra, he’d never known what it was like to sleep deeply and soundly for more than a few hours at a time. Now that he knew what it was like, he found he missed it. Almost as much as he missed Ezra.

Vin flipped his blanket back, and got to his feet. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon. No point in layin’ here any longer pretendin’ ta sleep. With any luck they’d be back in Four Corners today, and he could get back to waking up the way he liked.

He and Ezra had told Chris Larabee about their relationship almost a month ago. They hadn’t planned to tell anyone, but Chris had noticed the new closeness between them when they’d come back from Bitter Creek. And he had asked Vin about it, determined to get an answer.

Unwilling to lie to his best friend, Vin took him to Ezra, and together they told him about their feelings for one another. Chris expressed some concerns, but he seemed to accept it, with the proviso that their being together did not affect their ability to do their job. So, when several of the neighborhood ranchers had reported problems with rustlers, Vin had agreed to do some scouting of the area. As the best man for the job, it was expected that he would be willing, even eager, to use his skills to take down the rustlers.

Vin knew Ezra wasn’t completely comfortable with the idea of letting Vin go without him. But the others didn’t know about their relationship, and neither of them were keen on revealing the new nature of their involvement. They’d only told Chris because he asked. They both knew that a romantic relationship, between two men, was not what most would consider normal, and it was often not something that would be openly tolerated. Keeping their relationship a secret meant operating as though it was business as usual.

In general, Ezra hated camping out or being on the trail. Normally Vin objected to staying in town. Not wanting to raise questions, they acted as if everything were as it had always been. Ezra had just nodded his head when Chris told him he’d be staying in town with JD Dunne, Josiah Sanchez, and Nathan Jackson. It was expected that he would want to stay in town, volunteering to go would have seemed out of character. And Vin couldn’t ask him to go for the same reason. So far none of the others seemed to have noticed anything different, and Vin and Ezra were content to keep it that way.

Ezra had gotten up early with Vin the day he rode out with Buck Wilmington and Chris. The gambler had hugged him hard, kissed him softly, and made him promise to be careful. Vin knew that Ezra had watched him until they were out of sight. He wondered if the gambler was sleeping any better than he was.

Buck, Chris and Vin had spent the past few days searching for the elusive rustlers. Vin had found plenty of sign to indicate the ranchers’ complaints had been valid. There had indeed rustlers in the area, but Vin hadn’t been able to determine just where they’d gone, or even an exact number. His best guess was that there were six to ten men involved, but hadn’t been able to find any clearer information than that. Much of the sign he had found was several days old, and had been compromised by the ranchers’ attempts to handle the problem on their own. It was impossible to tell for certain just how many of the tracks belonged to the rustlers’ and which were the ranchers’.

Without fresh sign, finding the rustlers would be unlikely. As much as Vin hated to admit it, they might well be reduced to waiting for them to strike again before he would be able to locate them. Guess we’re lucky they ain’t killed anyone. Least wise not yet. Seem ta be more interested in jus’ stealin’.

After he finished packing up his stuff, Vin crouched down next to Chris, and accepted a cup of hot coffee gratefully. He glanced over to where Buck was still sleeping soundly. Damn glad Ez don’t snore like that or I’d never get any sleep. He grinned at that thought, but quickly hid it behind his coffee cup.

Chris had seen it though. He looked fondly at his old friend. "Never could figure out how Buck could sleep like the dead, and still make enough noise ta wake ‘em at the same time."

Vin chuckled softly. "Jus’ one o’ life’s little mysteries."

Chris rolled his eyes. "That it is." He sipped his coffee, eyes steadily regarding Vin for several moments. "Things still okay with you and Ez?" The question was quiet in deference to both their still sleeping companion, and the subject matter.

Vin raised an eyebrow. Chris normally said little about their relationship. Vin got the distinct impression that Chris was still uncomfortable with the whole idea of two men being together. It wasn’t like he disapproved. It was more like he wasn’t quite sure what to say or how to say it.

Vin had tried to respect the dark clad gunslinger’s uncertainty by not talking about it. He didn’t want to force the issue, wanting to let his friend come to terms with things in his own way and time. Although there were days over the past month that Vin couldn’t resist whistling, and sharing a small knowing grin with his best friend. He was happy, and he couldn’t help that it showed through sometimes.

Not talking about it wasn’t really a hardship for Vin. He was intensely private by nature, and even if he’d been involved with a woman, he would not have felt any need to discuss it in detail. Although, Vin admitted to himself, he wouldn’t mind being able to hold hands with Ezra in public, or not having to sneak into his room always leery of being seen. On occasion, Vin wished he had the opportunity to stake a more public claim to Ezra, something to clearly establish that they were a couple. But he knew it wasn’t really an option, and had come to terms with that fact.

"Things are good, Cowboy."

He didn’t think Chris would appreciate him going into specifics on just how good. Don’t think he really wants to know that Ez can make me howl like a coyote. Or how often he makes me laugh. Or how much I’ve come to ‘preciate some o’ the better things in life, like good quality whiskey, feather beds, and bein’ able ta read since Ez introduced me ta all that.

Chris nodded. "Still what you want?" The question was one of honest concern.

Vin grinned widely. "Yep." I’m always gonna want him.

Chris cocked his head to one side, his expression faintly puzzled. "Why him?"

Vin frowned. "What’d ya mean?"

Chris waved a hand. "I mean, why Ezra? What is it about him that…well…that does it for you?"

Vin sipped his coffee. "S’pose it’s like anybody else, Cowboy. Ya see someone who holds yer attention, makes ya sit up and take notice, challenges ya to see the world in ways ya never thought about. Could jus’ as easily ask you why Mary."

Chris smiled slightly. "Mary’s beautiful." He stated with quiet conviction, his expression distant.

Vin smiled. "So is Ez." Those chestnut curls, and green eyes. He may not be a big man, but sure is put together well. And I love the graceful way he moves. Not ta mention those clever and talented hands he’s got.

"Mary’s intelligent." Chris offered that almost as a challenge, dark blue-gray eyes sparkled with good humor.

Vin looked at Chris, his own sky blue eyes bright with amusement. "Ezra is the smartest man I’ve ever met. He’s read more books than I knew were written, and been ta places I’ve never heard of."

"She’s a good mother."

"He’s a good friend." Vin shrugged. "An’ I don’t want kids."

Chris looked startled by that. "You don’t? What about a family?"

"Chris, not every man wants ‘em." Vin pointed out, his tone reasonable, only somewhat dry. "An’ I got a family. Got me five brothers and a lover. Can’t ask fer more’n that." Vin shrugged one shoulder. "Sides, ‘til I can clear my name, I wouldn’t want ta put a child in danger like that."

Chris nodded. "What about puttin’ Ezra in danger?"

Vin smiled. He had thought about that on more than one occasion. He had even voiced his concern to Ezra. Ezra had pointed out that his past and profession had its own inherent perils. He also was quick to point out that he could defend himself if need be. He wouldn’t have lived as long as he had if he couldn’t.

"Man’s more likely to hurt somebody else than get hurt. And he’s makin’ his choice ta be with me. Jus’ like I’m makin’ the choice to be with him. We both know what we’re getting inta. Kids don’t get a choice."

Chris pursed his lips thinking about that. He nodded, clearly understanding Vin’s reasoning. After a moment, he sent a sly look toward Vin. It was most definitely a challenge. "Mary makes me wanna be a better man."

Vin just looked at Chris, and said nothing. His look was enough. Chris sighed, and shook his head. "I just don’t understand why you couldn’t settle down with a woman. Have a nice, normal life like everyone else."

"Cause I want Ez." Vin shrugged. He finished his coffee. "An’ I never wanted ta be like everybody else. Never have been ‘fore, so why start now?"

"That simple?" Chris looked skeptical, but Vin could tell he was trying. It had to be hard to come to terms with something so far out of his usual realm.

"That simple, Cowboy." Vin said firmly before he stood up. "It don’t have to be complicated, Chris. I love him, and he loves me."

Chris sighed quietly. "Okay. Long as you’re both happy."

Vin smiled. "I am, and so his he."

He knew Chris just wanted the best for them. The problem was that what Chris thought of as best, wasn’t the same as what Vin and Ezra thought. They’d had differences of opinion before, but eventually they would come to an understanding. Vin figured that given a little more time, Chris would relax and accept him and Ezra totally, rather than merely tolerate their relationship.

Vin moved to saddle his horse. "Best wake Buck if ya wanna get started." I wanna get be home tonight. Home. Has a nice ring to it.

Chris nodded. He got up and moved to where Buck lay, still sawing logs. Chris kicked the ladies man’s feet. "C’mon, Buck. We’re burnin’ daylight here."

Buck came awake with a snort and a groan. He opened his eyes to send a tired glare in Chris’ general direction. "Ya know, it wouldn’t kill you ta let a man sleep until there was enough light ta see by."

Vin thought that comment was something Ezra would be inclined to say. Chris just laughed. "I got coffee ready. I even poured ya a cup."

"Bless you." Buck rolled out of bed. "Knew there was a reason I liked you." He stood and stretched to his full height. He glanced around. "Where’s Vin?"

"Saddling Peso."

Buck raised his eyebrows. "Boy is eager ta get goin’ this mornin’."

Vin stepped back toward the fire. He flashed a quick grin at Buck. "Jus’ ready ta be done with this. Tired o’ runnin’ in circles."

"I hear ya." Buck reached for the cup Chris offered him. "Be good ta get back ta town." He waggled his eyebrows. "And the ladies."

Vin rolled his eyes at that. Buck had a one-track mind. If Chris has trouble figurin’ out how I could wanna be with a man, and what I see in Ezra, gotta wonder what Buck would think. On second thought, might be best not ta even go there. Don’t even wanna imagine what he’d have ta say.

Chris put out the fire, and moved to gather his stuff. "Lets get movin’. Wouldn’t mind bein’ back in town tonight myself."

*******

JD Dunne watched the town from where he sat in front of the sheriff’s office. With three of the seven gone, it fell to the remaining four to keep up with the regular patrols and shifts watching the town. JD kept an eye on where he expected Ezra to appear shortly. He was due back any time.

The gambler usually took the midnight to morning shift, keeping an eye on the town. And he had continued to do so. He’d also taken Vin’s usual morning shift, which meant riding out at sun up to check on outlying ranches. JD took Chris’ shift, meeting up with Ezra at the jail before the cardsharp left. Josiah would usually help out with the morning shift before taking the afternoon patrol. Nathan took afternoon watch and early evening in town. JD would take over again shortly after sunset, with Ezra on duty again at Midnight.

Nathan usually took the shortest shift because he was often needed elsewhere. He rarely went on patrols for the same reason. With no doctor in town, Nathan was the closet thing they had to one, and it made sense for him to be available as much as possible. Josiah had widened his patrol because of the reported rustlers, covering more than twice the area that they normally did. The big man hadn’t been back until suppertime every night. He would usually stop by the jail to keep JD company for a bit before settling in for the night.

Ezra and Josiah out on their own bothered JD. If there were trouble brewing it wasn’t like one man alone could handle it. He never rested easy until the older men returned from their respective patrols. He kept watch for them making sure that they were back on time, and ready to go look for them if they weren’t.

JD felt that Ezra was getting the short end of the stick with the current schedule, but had held his tongue. Ezra hadn’t argued about the set up, so JD wasn’t sure if he should complain on the man’s behalf. He suspected Chris had set it up as a way to punish Ezra for something, but he had no idea what. The gambler hadn’t said or done anything JD knew of that had pissed off Chris. Everyone seemed to be getting along just fine recently.

JD was willing to concede that Chris might just not have thought about what he was doing when he assigned Ezra two shifts back to back. The gunslinger had a habit of giving tough assignments to the gambler. Even if that were the case it still didn’t seem right to JD. Don’t think he’d a done that to anyone else. No reason ta do it ta Ez, jus’ cause he can get the job done, don’t mean he has ta always be the one that gets the shit detail.

He stood up was he spotted Ezra riding into town. He looks tired. Wonder if he’s sleepin’ okay. Know he’s a night owl and all, but it still has ta be hard ta get much sleep durin’ the day. JD knew for a fact that Ezra didn’t even go to his room until nearly four in the afternoon. He liked to meet up with the others for lunch, and still made a point of spending time teaching the children.

Might be a good idea ta make sure he takes a break today. Hope the others get back soon. Chris, Buck and Vin had been gone four days already. It was impossible to predict just how long it would take to round up this latest batch of bad guys, but JD was pretty sure the others wouldn’t want to be gone more than a week. He knew that even though Chris would never come right out and say so, the gunslinger worried too much about the town to leave it shorthanded for longer than absolutely necessary.

JD waited for Ezra to bring Chaucer to a halt in front of him. Ezra raised two fingers to the brim of his hat. "Mr. Dunne."

"Hey, Ez." JD reached out to gently rub the chestnut gelding’s nose. "Any trouble?"

Ezra shook his head. "Not that I could find." He smirked slightly. "And believe me, Mr. Dunne, I looked diligently."

JD laughed. "I’m sure ya did, Ez." He knew Ezra might complain about riding patrols but the gambler never shirked his duty. Ezra was sure to check every ranch, and speak with everyone he encountered. JD thought Ezra was almost as good as Vin at paying attention to details and gathering information. Both of them knew seemed to know more about the surrounding countryside than anyone else in town. It was just the way they gathered their information that differed. Ezra talked to people, Vin read signs of their coming and going.

JD looked away for a moment. He wasn’t sure how to ask if Ezra was feeling all right without offending him. Oh the hell with it, if he gets mad, he gets mad. "You feelin’ okay, Ez?"

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

JD shrugged. "Ya look tired."

Ezra waved a hand in an elegant gesture of dismissal. "I shall have to work on maintaining my appearance better. It would not do for a gentleman to be seen at less than his best."

JD sighed. He didn’t care about Ezra looking his best. He cared about whether or not his friend was genuinely feeling all right. Ezra never looked tired. He had to be exhausted for JD to notice. JD didn’t like the dark circles under his eyes, or the way Ezra’s green eyes seemed to have lost some of their normal sparkle. It just didn’t seem right to him.

"If ya want, I can take the late shift tonight."

"Why would I want you to do that?" Ezra seemed surprised by his offer.

"Well, it just seems like ya been getting the short end o’ the stick here. Don’t really seem fair that ya gotta work two shifts back ta back. An’ I know I can’t sleep at all when the sun’s up. Feels weird ta be layin’ down when everyone else is up and about. Figured ya might want the chance ta bed down like normal people for a change."

"It is not a hardship for me Mr. Dunne. I am well rehearsed in the art of keeping odd hours. And I honestly find it easier to simply stay awake rather than get up at such an ungodly hour as the morning patrol requires." He shook his head slightly. "I simply cannot fathom why anyone would want to be awake when the sun has not yet arisen."

JD grinned. "You’d have to get Chris or Vin ta explain it, cause I’m not sure I see the appeal either."

Ezra chuckled. "It is good to know I am not the only sensible member of our little troupe." Ezra tipped his head. "I thank you for the offer, and appreciate your concern for my health and well being, but I will continue to carry out my duties as assigned."

JD sighed. "You’ll let me know if ya want a break though, right? Might be nice ta switch off now and again. Gets boring always doing the same stuff all the time."

Ezra smiled warmly. "So your offer is not entirely altruistic then?"

"Have ta tell me what altruistic means before I can answer that." JD shrugged. Somehow Ezra always managed to explain himself without making JD feel silly or stupid. It made JD feel like it was perfectly okay to ask. He’d learned a lot from the gambler that way. Ezra didn’t treat him as a kid the way the others tended to do.

"It means to do something solely for another’s benefit, without seeking personal gain. You did not offer to take the late shift just out of concern for me, but with some self benefit also in mind." Ezra raised an eyebrow saying the last bit, making the statement more of a question.

JD thought about that. No, I made it ‘cause I thought you needed a break, but I know you’ll say yes if I tell you I offered ‘cause I wanted a break in my routine. JD grinned. "Well, yeah. Like I said it gets boring doin’ the same thing all the time."

Ezra chuckled. "Indeed it does. Very well, Mr. Dunne, for your sake, I will deign to forgo my usual shift, and allow you to serve in my place. Although, I believe you will likely find it as uninspiring as the morning hours have been."

JD laughed, pleased with just how easy it had been to get Ezra ta agree. "Probably. Will still be different. Better’n nothing."

Ezra tipped his head. "Now, if you will excuse me, I believe Chaucer would like to retire. He has put in a full day."

"Sure, Ez. You gonna eat lunch with us?"

"I will be there, Mr. Dunne, rest assured. I would not miss our daily commune."

JD nodded. He was still a bit worried about Ezra. Even thought the gambler joined them every day it didn’t seem like he ate that much. Ez is a finicky eater though. It’s not like he wolfs inta stuff like Buck, or snacks all the time like Vin. JD decided he’d keep a closer watch on Ezra.

He had noticed that Ezra tended to eat less when he was upset or nervous, picking at his food rather than eating it. Not that the gambler ever looked or acted like he was bothered by much of anything. But JD knew he was a human as anyone else and just as likely to suffer from worry and anxiety as the rest of them. Everyone else was worried about Buck, Chris and Vin. It only stood to reason that Ezra would worry too.

JD headed for the restaurant. Hopefully, Mrs. Anders would have something Ezra liked well enough to eat. Maybe she’ll have a pie. Man can’t seem to resist pie. JD grinned to himself. He liked pie almost as much as Ezra did. Not exactly…altruistic, wanting her ta have pie, but I don’t think Ez would mind. Not if we both get a piece.

*******

Ezra unsaddled Chaucer. He leaned against the horse for a moment, letting the strong animal support his weight while he gathered his energy. He sighed, and pulled away with a soft pat to Chaucer’s shoulder.

He was tired. He couldn’t seem to sleep well lately. With Vin gone, he found it difficult to relax enough to really sleep deeply or for very long. For the last few days he had managed to sleep only a few hours at a time. Most of that occurred shortly before he was due to be at the jail for the late shift.

And he had nightmares when he did sleep, so what rest he did get was far from refreshing. Memories from his past would get jumbled up with his fears for Vin. Every good thing in his life had been lost to him at some point, and he feared Vin would be next. Ezra was beginning to dread the idea of lying down and closing his eyes. It was easier to face his fears awake, and tired, than to let the demons and shadows of his mind attack him at night.

Ezra put his tack away somewhat disgusted with himself. Honestly, Ezra, you are a grown man. You’ve slept alone, and been on your own, for most of your adult life. Hell, for most of your childhood for that matter. One month should not make that much difference. But it did.

Knowing Vin loved him, even liked and accepted him for who he was, was something Ezra reveled in. Sleeping with Vin made him feel safe, secure, and content. Experiencing such emotions was a novel thing for him. He wanted the chance for those feelings to continue.

As a child, Ezra was never sure how long he would be staying anywhere. He had to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice in case Maude needed to flee some con gone wrong. He had to be prepared for when a relative had finally gotten tired of his presence and demanded his immediate removal, or had decided to punish him for some transgression real or imagined. During the war he was often too scared, or cold, or hungry to ever be comfortable or really let down his guard. It was a time when he needed to be vigilant just to stay alive. After the war he moved from town to town, mostly on his own, ever wary for someone one looking to pay him back with violence for winning at the poker table. Alone, he needed to be watchful for someone who’d taken a dislike to him personally and wished to see him suffer. It was second nature now to know where everyone was in a room, who entered and who left, who might pose a threat and who was harmless.

Ezra pulled brushes from his tack box and began to brush down Chaucer. As he thought about his life, he realized that prior to being with Vin, the only time in his life he’d ever really felt even close to being content was on board the Esmerelda. SinJin had made sure the crew knew he was off limits, that he was to be treated as the though he belonged to the captain. Not much of a stretch there. I did belong to him. Just as much at that ship did.

As demeaning as that had been, it was also very reassuring. No one messed with what SinJin claimed as his own. And it was oddly comforting to know that someone actually wanted him. Ezra, as himself, and not just as who they wanted him to be. That someone saw him as useful, seemed to enjoy his company, thought him worthy of spending time with, and not as just another burden or hardship to be endured. SinJin was the first person in his young life to ever take an interest in him.

And to date, as an adult, Vin was the only person to show the same level of interest. Vin honestly seemed to care what he thought, and asked for his opinion. He was genuinely interested in the places Ezra had been, and the things he had seen. Vin had, in turn, shared his own past. Giving of himself, freely, sharing with Ezra those events and circumstances that made him the man he was. Letting Ezra share in his hopes, fears and expectations. Ezra was still astounded that Vin trusted him enough to reveal so much about himself. He treasured that closeness, that honesty, that feeling of mutual respect and understanding, of knowing their relationship was something that had been freely given. It was something he had never had before, and was desperately afraid of losing.

He met SinJin as a child. And things were never truly equal between them. He had been appalled knowing Maude had handed him over to SinJin fully aware of what it was the man wanted. In his heart of hearts, Ezra never forgave his mother for that, nor would he ever forgive her. Her use of him to pay off a debt was even more degrading than being used for SinJin’s pleasure.

Her act reduced him to no more than an object to be bartered, and let him know, in no uncertain terms, just how little she really thought of him. She never asked him for his opinion, or gave him a choice. He was just a means to an end for her. What he thought, what he wanted never mattered to her.

Ezra knew it was wrong for SinJin to have used him the way he did. It wasn’t right for a man to find sexual gratification from a child. There was no way that could be right. Ezra remembered his shame and fear when he realized what it was SinJin wanted from him. He’d been even more embarrassed, completely mortified, to learn that whole crew knew just what SinJin used him for.

His time aboard the Esmeralda wasn’t always solely about SinJin’s pleasure. SinJin made certain he ensured Ezra’s pleasure as well as his own. Something, which at the time, had also caused a lot of shame and confusion for Ezra. It was wrong and he shouldn’t enjoy it. Ever. But there were times when he did. Times when he wanted it even.

He enjoyed being touched, having had so little physical contact from anyone as a child. He craved it some times. A hug, and warm hand on his shoulder, a pat on the back, the sort of contact he’d seen other people take for granted. The sort of contact other mothers gave their children without even thinking about it.

He enjoyed knowing SinJin thought he was attractive, and intelligent, worth spending the time to teach. That, in his own way, SinJin cared for Ezra a great deal. He was wanted. It was what SinJin wanted him for that sometimes caused problems. It was hard to reconcile the different aspects of the man. He could go from being the friendly, paternal figure, to something else entirely very quickly. All the time and attention SinJin gave him came at a price, and the decision of whether or not to pay it, wasn’t one Ezra ever really had available to him.

SinJin never did anything that physically hurt Ezra, with the exception of the first time he wanted to take him completely. Even then, Ezra was fairly certain hurting him had not been SinJin’s intent since there was never any pain later on. Their initial encounters had been hands and mouth only. SinJin waited until Ezra was fifteen before demanding more.

Not once, in the three years Ezra had been aboard the Esmerelda, had SinJin ever hit him. That in itself had amazed him as a child. He was used to the rather heavy-handed discipline of numerous aunts, uncles and cousins. He had learned at a young age to be wary of people getting too close. Being within arm reach meant they could hit or grab him far too easily. Even as an adult, the habit of keeping his distance was deeply ingrained. Vin was one of the few who’s touch he welcomed, and actively sought.

A stern look from SinJin was all it took to keep Ezra in line most of the time. SinJin had mastered the art of a look that could be both a threat and a promise before Ezra was even born, making the use physical discipline almost unnecessary. He didn’t have to shy way from SinJin’s touch or watch him carefully trying to gauge when he would finally lose it and beat him.

What was even more amazing to Ezra, even now, was that SinJin took the time to teach him a great deal, making Ezra more than just his sex toy, but also a functional member of the crew. As Ezra had told Vin, SinJin was a bit old fashioned. He had taken on Ezra as an indentured servant when he agreed to take the boy in payment for Maude’s debt. To SinJin that meant Ezra would be taught a trade, a useful skill that would allow him to make his way in the world on his own at some point.

He had told Ezra, that he would be aboard the ship for six years, until Maude’s debt was paid, and after that he was free to choose his own path. So SinJin had taught Ezra the ins and outs of operating a sailing ship, giving him the skills and knowledge he would need, when the time came to make his own decision. Ezra had counted the days, eager to be able to shape his own destiny, to have his freedom to be what ever he wanted. He promised himself he would never again be an object to be bartered. In the future, it would be his skills that would see him through, not his body. Toward that goal, Ezra learned everything SinJin was willing to teach him. SinJin had him useful in his own right, allowing him the opportunity to earn a place among the crew, a place that garnered him respect and understanding.

Or at least he was respected until SinJin would pull him away from his duties, with a friendly hand on his shoulder, and a soft command of, "Son, I want a word with you." Then he went from being just another crewmen to the captain’s whore. He lost even the illusion of choice, of rights and freedom.

Ezra shuddered at the memory. He hadn’t been able to tell Vin everything about what life was like aboard the Esmerelda. Nor did he intend to. Ezra preferred to focus on the good things that happened there. In spite everything there had been moments of contentment and joy. Taking the good with the bad was the only way one could survive.

His thoughts were interrupted by a snort and light shove from Chaucer. "My apologizes, old friend. I stood here daydreaming rather than attending to you as I should."

With a quiet sigh, Ezra finished brushing Chaucer. He let the simple, repetitive task clear his mind, and put the genie back in the bottle where it belonged. He added fresh hay to the manger before leaving. JD was expecting him join the others for lunch, and it wouldn’t do to be late.

Ezra made his way to the restaurant, casually acknowledging people as he passed them. In two days after he arrived in town, Ezra knew every person’s name and occupation. Even when he’d expected to spend just thirty days in this dusty little burg, it had seemed wise to do so. A year later, Ezra still had no reason to regret it. He managed not to grin at what the upstanding members of the community would think if they knew Ezra knew so many of their little secrets. Knowing their secrets was just one of the reasons Ezra was so careful with his own.

He entered the restaurant. Nathan, and JD were already there, Josiah having left on his patrol. Ezra was somewhat relieved by the larger man’s absence. He wasn’t up to dealing with being called ‘son’ or manhandled. Sometimes Josiah’s mannerisms just brought far too many memories to the fore. Memories Ezra would rather not deal with. He hadn’t quite figured out how to explain that to the ex-preacher. He hadn’t figured out how to tell him that what he thought of as a gesture and term of endearment, held a certain amount of revulsion and fear for Ezra. He wasn’t willing to go into detail, or talk about that part of his life with anyone. At least not yet, and may be not ever.

Ezra knew himself well enough that controlling his temper was always more difficult when he was tired, and Ezra was afraid he would say or do something that he shouldn’t. He was afraid he would act out of those memories. He didn’t want to permanently alienate the ex-preacher, and that is likely what would happen if he gave into his temper. Avoidance seemed like the wiser course of action.

He nodded his head in greeting to both Nathan and JD. He hadn’t had much appetite of late, but enjoyed the opportunity to sit with his fellow peacekeepers. It was a part of his daily routine that he had come to enjoy. Somehow eating with the others made him feel a bit more connected to Vin, and he needed that.

He could feel Nathan’s eyes on him as he spent more time moving his food about than he did eating it. He raised an eyebrow in question. Nathan looked pointedly at Ezra’s plate but didn’t say anything. Ezra rolled his eyes in response.

Nathan wasn’t so easily put off. "Somethin’ wrong with your meal, Ezra?"

"The food is fine, Mr. Jackson. I’m simply not very hungry at the moment." He took a few more bites to appease the concern he could see in JD’s eyes, and to keep Nathan from asking more questions. It was bad enough that JD noticed he was tired. Really must get a hold of myself. This will not do. I will lose a fortune at the poker table if it is so easy for JD to read me.

JD pushed his own plate away. He winked at Ezra. "I know yer just savin’ room for dessert. Mrs. Anders made a mess o’ pies today. She’s got cherry and blueberry."

Ezra smiled. He loved pie. "Did you say she had cherry?" It wasn’t his favorite, but it would most definitely make a workable substitute.

"Yep." JD nodded eagerly. "She’s got a bunch o’ fruit from Mr. Gregor, jus’ the other day. Said she canned as much as she was gonna, but didn’t want ‘em ta go ta waste."

As one of the very first to settle in the area some fifteen years ago, the first thing Mr. Gregor had done was plant an orchard. He had apples, peaches, cherries and plums. The blueberries were a relatively resent addition. He sold most of the fruit to the local ladies, for making jams and jellies. Although, Mr. Gregor always made sure he had enough apples for cider. His hard cider was also a local favorite.

JD ordered a piece of pie for himself and one for Ezra. Nathan declined. "You don’t like pie, Mr. Jackson?" Ezra couldn’t help but ask. It was unfathomable to him that anyone could not like pie.

Nathan shook his head. "Like it jus’ fine, Ezra. Gotta get going. Need ta check on Mrs. Cavanaugh. Told her I be out a little earlier today."

Mrs. Cavanaugh was pregnant for the fourth time. She had miscarried with the two previous children, and was very concerned about this child. Nathan had made a point of stopping in to see her daily to allay her fears and concerns.

"She’s doing well, yes?" Ezra liked the dainty woman who lived with her family just outside of town. He marveled that she had survived in this harsh environment for as long as she had. She had heard he was teaching some of the children in town, and had asked him if he would be willing to teach her young son when he was old enough to learn. Ezra had agreed, but found himself wondering if he would still be in Four Corners when the time came.

Nathan nodded his head. "So far, so good. She’s still got just under two months ta go. God willing this one will go full term like it’s s’posed to."

Ezra sighed silently. "From your lips to God’s ear." There was something decidedly tragic about a life cut short before it had the chance to begin. Although, it is perhaps better to have missed out on later tragedies.

Nathan stood up. "I should be back in an hour or two."

JD nodded. "I’ll be waiting for you."

Just like he waits for Josiah. Ezra managed not to smile. JD is certainly becoming a fine, upstanding young man. His concern for his friends does him credit. Rather like Buck. Buck would not have been my first choice to teaching JD the ways of the west and on what it means to be a man, but I must admit he has done an admiral job of it so far. I have done our resident Lothario a disservice. I shall have to find a way to make that up to him.

Ezra had not over looked the fact that JD made a habit of waiting for him, and watching out for him as well. He liked to believe it was out of friendship and not duty, but Ezra knew better than to expect that to be the case. He did not have enough experience with friendship to really gauge it well.

Ezra finished his pie, savoring the tart taste of the cherries. He pushed his plate away once he’d finished, feeling a bit over full, having not eaten much lately left his stomach less able to handle a full meal. But the pie had simply been to good to allow it to go to waste. "I must thank you, Mr. Dunne, for calling to my attention that such a delicacy was to be had."

JD grinned. "No problem, Ez. You gonna be teaching the kids today?"

Ezra nodded. "Yes. Two hours of instruction have been scheduled as per usual." He sent a questioning glance toward JD. "Is there some other task that you feel requires my attention?"

"No. No." JD was quick to answer. "Just wanted ta know where you’d be in case I need ya. Just me in you in town until Josiah and Nate get back."

Ah…yes. I should not have forgotten. "Would you like for me to assist you this afternoon?"

"Nah. Town’s been real quiet."

Ezra nodded. Yes, it has. Perhaps I am merely paranoid to view it as the calm before the storm. "Are you expecting trouble?"

JD chuckled. "Buck says I should always expect trouble."

Ezra made a wry face. "It is unfortunate that, in this case, Mr. Wilmington, may be correct."

"I won’t tell him that, if you don’t."

Ezra grinned, dimples visible, and gold pre-molar flashing for a moment. He knew just how often Buck and JD playful argued about the merits of Buck’s advice. "Agreed."

*******

An hour out from Four Corners, Vin spotted what they’d spent the last four days searching for, fresh sign. He held up a hand indicating he wanted Buck and Chris to stop. Vin got down from Peso, to inspect the tracks more closely.

"Seven of ‘em." It was nice to finally be able to confirm just how many. He knew they were the right group. Their first day out one of the ranchers had led them to the spot where his cattle had been stolen; it was there where Vin spotted tracks that had shown two horses with odd shoes. They reminded Vin of some to the shoes the Calvary used. The shoes were notched in places to identify which company the horse belonged to. Often times it worked better than a brand, because thieves rarely thought to have the animal reshod immediately, and it made for distinctive tracks.

"Looks like they came through here not too long ago. Movin’ slow. One o’ their horses is lame. And from the depth o’ the tracks, I’d say at least one is carrying double."

Chris frowned. "How long?"

Vin shrugged. "An hour, maybe less."

Chris nodded. He shared a look with Buck. "What do ya think?"

"I think we’re this close we might as well follow ‘em. Hell, we might just get lucky." The tall ladies man shrugged. "Don’t really want to spend another four days looking for ‘em again."

Chris pursed his lips. "Okay. Let’s follow ‘em. Took us this long ta find the bastards might just as well see where they’re going. Like to be able to find out where they been hiding."

Vin swung back in the saddle. He kept his eyes on the ground following where the tracks led. He knew Chris wasn’t planning on confronting seven rustlers with just the three of them. He also knew just how well plans went awry, so he kept an eye out for anything that might go wrong.

The tracks led toward a small box canyon. Vin stopped. He shared a look with Chris. "Bad place, Cowboy."

An ambush was a very real possibility. By now the rustlers had to know someone was after them. The ranchers had been trying to run them down for several days before they bothered to contact anyone in Four Corners. The canyon wasn’t a place Vin wanted to get trapped. It would be easy to get caught inside and killed in cross fire from either side. Tracks are fresh, and it ain’t too likely these boys jus’ all of a sudden got careless.

"Jus’ don’t feel right ‘bout this."

Chris nodded. "Can we get above them?"

Vin pointed toward a narrow trail that led up the west side. It was steep and looked ugly. Vin knew it was possible to get up it with a horse. Not easy, but possible.

Buck spat. "You’ve gotta be kiddin’." He shook his head. "A goat would have an easier time o’ getting up that."

"You wanna wait here?" Vin smirked ever so slightly. He already knew the answer, but waited for Buck to tell him anyway.

"Hell no. Somebody has to go along and make sure you two try not ta get yourselves killed."

Vin chuckled. He nudged Peso toward the trail. Peso snorted, but didn’t balk. He trusted Vin, and never failed to do what was asked of him. The black gelding surged up the side of the canyon as surefooted as the goat Buck had mentioned earlier. Vin kept is weight forward doing his best to help Peso balance on the unstable, steep trail.

Vin could hear Chris and Buck coming up behind him. Their horses slid and fought for every step. Small rocks fell behind them giving an almost musical tingle as they tumbled down the hillside. He heard Chris curse softly when his black gelding, Sable, lost his footing for just a moment, nearly falling. Sable scrambled quickly, regaining what he lost, moving forward at Chris’ urging.

Buck’s gray, Lady, didn’t like the trail either. Vin could hear Buck murmuring words of encouragement to his horse. Vin shook his head slightly, amused. Man says he can’t understand why Ezra spends so much talkin’ ta Chaucer when the horse can’t understand a word, and here he is talkin’ up a storm ta Lady.

With a final surge Peso cleared the rim. Vin moved him forward far enough for Chris and Buck to move in behind, and let him blow a little. He patted Peso’s neck. "Done good, boy. Ya done real good."

Chris joined him a moment later. Buck followed quickly after. Lady was shivering and sweaty from the exertion, and Vin knew the climb had been hard on the mare. She was a beautiful long legged horse built more for speed than for feats of strength and agility. She wasn’t nearly as surefooted as Peso, or Sable, but over open country she could easily leave them in the dust. Vin smiled at Buck.

"She done good."

Buck patted Lady’s neck affectionately. "That she did. That she did." He gave Vin a cocky grin. "Ain’t a female of any kind that wouldn’t do what ol’ Buck asked her ta do."

Chris smirked. "Except for maybe Inez."

"Now you know I’m wearin’ her down, Chris. Little more time, and she’ll be eatin’ outta my hand."

Chris shot an amused, knowing look toward Vin. He sobered quickly though. "Let’s go see what our little band of rustlers are up to."

Together they moved further up the rim of the canyon. Vin bit back a curse when he realized he hadn’t been the only one to spot the narrow trail that they had just ascended. There was sign someone else had been here recently, although from the looks of it, they had come on foot.

Damn. Canyon was a trap. He had been hoping that he might be wrong, but hadn’t really expected to be.

He pointed toward the tracks, letting Chris and Buck know they weren’t alone. Vin unholstered his sawed off Winchester. He wasn’t really a quick draw like Chris, and felt better having his weapon already in hand. He had a feeling he’d be needing it. Chris and Buck both pulled their own weapons.

Vin studied the tracks in front of him. "Ain’t all of ‘em, Chris."

It looked like three, maybe four. Vin figured that one man had taken at least some of the horses all the way into the canyon, while the other six had split up, putting some men on each rim of the canyon. Would have had them neatly boxed in had Vin simply followed the horses where they led.

Chris nodded. He motioned for Buck to move away slightly. It wouldn’t do for them to be caught too close together. Vin moved forward again, sharp eyes searching for what didn’t belong. It didn’t take him long to find it. He pointed out what he found.

He shared a quick grin with Chris. Three of their cattle thieves were hidden behind some rocks that no doubt afforded them great cover from the canyon below, but left them totally exposed from where Chris, Vin and Buck sat astride their horses behind them. Buck cocked his head to one side, an evil smile spreading across his face. He leveled his pistol at the men in front of him, cocking it slowly, letting the sound of it carry.

"Now, boys, it would be a good idea if y’all just put down your guns quiet like."

The sound of his weapon, and his voice, startled the three men into spinning around. They were totally surprised to find three men training weapons on them. One man raised his gun, but stopped when Buck shook his head.

"Ya don’t want to do that. We jus’ spent four very long days huntin’ yer sorry asses down. Would be easy ta jus’ kill you and let the buzzards get a good meal rather than drag y’all back with us. Don’t really wanna do that, but we will if ya make us. Understand?"

Despite the jovial tone, and friendly expression he wore, there was no mistaking Buck’s deadly intent. The three men slowly lowered their weapons. Vin couldn’t shake the feeling he was missing something. Ez says the villains in this part of the world don’t exactly tend toward intelligent. Jus’ seems too easy even if they was idiots. An’ I know they ain’t. Wouldn’t have led us around by the nose for four days if they were.

He kept scanning the area looking for what he was missing. A flash of sunlight off a gun caught his attention seconds before it fired. Vin lunged toward Chris, knocking him from Sable, just in time to avoid being hit. Together they managed to roll away from the flashing, steel shod hooves of Sable, and Peso, narrowly avoiding getting clipped in the head by both horses as they shied and danced away.

Buck was off Lady a second later, giving them covering fire, aiming for who ever had taken shots at them. The three rustlers they’d thought they had caught unaware had picked up their weapons. Vin fired, taking out the one closest with a shot to the chest. He didn’t have time to plan for anything less than a lethal shot. Vin switched his aim to take the second, but Chris had already gotten him. The third ran. Vin briefly considered shooting him in the back, but opted to let him go rather than compromise his own sense of right and honor.

Two down. Five ta go. Vin and Chris scrambled for cover. Buck joined them a second later. He pointed with his gun toward where the first shot had come from.

Buck looked at Vin, scowling slightly. "Thought you said they weren’t all up here?"

"Did say that." Vin shrugged one shoulder. "It ain’t all of ‘em, Buck. Only four. An’ we got two of them."

The man who’d run had moved up the rim of the canyon toward where the shot had come from. Vin figured there was only one other man up there. He’d only heard one gun from there, and it wouldn’t make sense for the rustlers to try and ambush them in the canyon to have men on only one wall.

There had to be others on the opposite side, or even at the bottom. The tracks had lead into the canyon, which meant at the very least their horses were inside, since no tracks came out. Vin knew this was a box canyon. The only trail up the side was the one they had just traversed. There was no other way out once they were inside.

"You got any bright ideas?" Buck directed that question to Chris. "We ain’t gonna be able to get outta here easy. Rest o’ them are bound ta have heard those shots."

Chris frowned. "I know." He studied the lay of the land. "We can’t stay here." Where they were was too exposed to stay there safely for long. The trail they had just ascended left them open to fire from behind. Assuming the other rustlers opted to try to help their companions from that direction. And Vin felt fairly certain that given time, they would do just that.

"Going back isn’t an option." Their horses hadn’t gone far, but retrieving them would put them in the open. There was no way they could descend the trail safely under fire. It was too tricky to try to navigate quickly, and trying to move too fast would just get someone killed.

"We got no choice but to go forward. If we can take out these two that leaves only three more ta take care of." Chris looked at Buck and then Vin. "Ready?"

Vin nodded. He had already figured that would be the plan. Buck grinned, looking ready, even eager to go. "Lead on, big dog."

Chris slithered forward, moving between the rocks, trying to stay under cover as much as possible. Vin followed, then Buck. The moved in concert, easily, without having to check the others. As one moved the other two were ready to provide covering fire if needed. Vin remembered doing similar things during the war. He briefly wondered if Chris and Buck had similar memories. Probably. Know they both fought together.

Vin ducked when a shot hit a boulder close to where he’d was hiding. The ricochet whined loudly. Vin waited for the next shot. He wasn’t disappointed. He felt rather than saw Chris take aim and return fire. There was a cry of pain that let them know Chris’ aim had been true.

"Nice shootin’, Chris." Buck congratulated him.

Chris cast a quick glance over his shoulder, and raised an eyebrow. "Still got one more. And we don’t know if the one I hit is dead. So don’t get cocky."

Vin rolled his eyes at the admonishment, but kept his head down just the same. Wouldn’t do to get careless now. Ezra will be pissed if I don’t come home in one piece.

They moved forward again, working through the cover nature had provided. If the rustlers they were after had any sense, they would leave before they could get close enough to actually finish the job. Somehow, Vin doubted they were really bright enough for that. Ez is right. Miscreants tend to be imbeciles.

Vin laughed silently to himself. He knew his lover would be so pleased with how well he remembered the words he used, and applied them, even if it was only in his thoughts. Vin refocused his attention to the task at hand. He was looking for an opening. He knew there would be one. There always was. He just had to be patient.

Vin settled himself, controlling his breathing, watching. He had cover from the men in front from where he crouched. For the moment he chose to ignore the fact that his position was otherwise exposed. This would be the best spot to take out his immediate target. The rest would have to wait.

A moment later he was reward by a flash of movement. He narrowed his vision to that spot and waited for another shot. C’mon. C’mon. A second later he got the shot he was waiting for.

Gotcha. Vin fired, taking out the man he wanted. The total collapse of his target let him know his shot had been lethal. What he didn’t know was if it was the man Chris had hit earlier or the other.

Unfortunately, while he was focused on what was going on in front of him, he missed what was happening elsewhere. He felt something powerful slam into his left leg, knocking it out from under him, leaving him stunned and breathless. Vin knew he’d been shot. It had to have been a rifle. Probably from the opposite ridge, since the men in front of him had been taken out of the game.

He scrambled for something else to hide behind, trying not to use his left leg since it didn’t seem to be responding to him anyway. Chris reached out and pulled him close. Chris’ position was more secure, but also nearly blind, with limited view of the surrounding area. Vin wasn’t completely sure where the shot had come from, and couldn’t get a good look from where he and Chris now sat.

Buck was further behind. He was also the only one of them armed with a true distance weapon. Vin and Chris’ rifles were still on their horses. Buck had managed to pull his rifle from his horse with him earlier, and Vin heard its distinctive report as Buck fired at someone Vin couldn’t see. There was silence a moment later.

Chris had pulled his bandana from around his neck. He wrapped it tightly around Vin’s thigh, making Vin wince and curse softly. "Christ! That smarts."

"I know, Cowboy." Chris said softly. "Sorry, but I gotta stop the bleeding."

Chris called out to Buck. "You get that bastard?"

"I got ‘im." Buck’s voice held a note of deadly competence. There was no doubt the man who’d shot Vin was as dead as Buck could make him from this distance.

Vin’s whole leg had gone from numb to feeling like it was on fire in a very short time. He counted himself lucky that it looked like the bullet had punched through cleanly, not hitting the bone, or any major blood vessels. During the war, he’d see men who’d been hit in the leg before bled to death in minutes, the blood spurting like a fountain. The steady flow of blood was oddly reassuring. He would live through this no matter how much it hurt at the moment.

"Five down?" Vin asked, his voice tight with pain.

"Don’t know. Least four so far for sure." Chris answered. He pulled Vin’s own bandana off and secured it as another bandage to Vin’s leg. Chris’ own bandana was already soaked through. "You just sit tight. We’ll see to the rest o’ them."

"An’ jus’ how do you plan ta do that?" Vin knew they weren’t exactly in the best position to take on anyone else. Even if they now had them outnumbered. Well, sort of. If ya don’t take into account that I ain’t gonna be movin’ too fast. And if we got the two o’ them in front o’ us.

"Don’t worry about it. Just stay put." Chris shot him a hard look. Vin sat back knowing that Chris would find a way to make sure he stayed where he was so he might as well just accept it for the moment. Buck cautiously joined them, wary of the spot where Vin had gotten hit. He positioned himself where he’d have good cover and still be able to view the surrounding area.

"Buck, stay with Vin and cover me. I’ll go see if the two on our side are dead."

Buck nodded. "Will do." He moved to a better spot so he could give Chris covering fire if needed. Chris moved carefully and quietly. Getting to where the two rustlers had been shouldn’t be a problem.

Buck casually put a hand on Vin’s chest, keeping him from moving. Buck gave him a sly glance before returning to keeping an eye out for Chris. "You heard the man, Vin. He’d have my hide if I let you go jumpin’ around and get ta bleedin’ all over the place."

"I can help." Vin growled. He wasn’t out of the game yet. It’s a flesh wound for crying out loud. He winced when he tried to move, and again Buck stopped him.

"I know you can help." Buck told him calmly. "Ya jus’ ain’t gonna right now."

Buck kept a sharp eye out for trouble, watching the opposite rim, and the spot where Chris was headed. He stood up suddenly and fired twice before ducking for cover. His quiet curse told Vin he’d missed his target. Buck had been aiming for someone on the opposite rim. Even if he hadn’t hit him, Buck had evidently kept him from shooting at Chris since there was no return fire.

Vin felt light headed. He glanced at his left leg and absently noted that his bandana was now dark red. The bleeding had slowed but it hadn’t stopped yet. Should stop soon. This kind o’ wound usually doesn’t bleed too long.

Vin could hear horses moving somewhere below their position. He raised an eyebrow. "Think they decided to leave?"

Buck shrugged. "Let ya know in a minute." Buck popped up again, and aimed down into the canyon. He fired once, and ducked down again. He grinned, a quick flash of white teeth that was more feral than friendly.

"Get him?"

Buck shook his head. "Jus’ winged ‘im. Knocked ‘im off his horse though. Doubt he’ll be getting up too soon."

"Only one?"

Buck shrugged one shoulder. "Only saw one. Coulda been more, but I don’t think so."

Chris was back, gliding silently like a tangible shadow, back into their small hideout. He startled Buck, but Vin wasn’t surprised. He could almost feel when Chris was around. "They dead, Cowboy?"

"Yep." Chris ran his thumb across his lower lip. He looked toward Buck for a moment. "Could only make out one man on the other rim."

Four on this side, two on the other, and one in the canyon. That ought ta be all of ‘em. Only one left ta deal with is on the other side. Vin nodded to himself, and swallowed hard. He was starting to feel a bit nauseous. It was a feeling he was familiar with since it happened nearly every time he got shot.

He didn’t miss the concerned glances both Chris and Buck were sending his way. Vin was pretty sure he must look very pale about now. Loosing his color was just another one of those things that happened whenever he got shot. It didn’t seem to matter how minor the wound, he always ended up pale and a bit shaky. Damn embarrassing.

"How you wanna play this, Chris?" Buck asked.

"Let’s see if we can draw him in to the open. Think you can hit him?"

Buck nodded. "No problem." He seemed totally confident in his ability. Vin knew Buck was a good shot. Almost as good as he was.

Vin opened his mouth to object. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Buck could do the job. He just didn’t want to see Chris use himself as bait. He knew the only reason Chris wasn’t willing to wait out the last man was because Vin was hurt. He’d seen Chris looking at his left leg and spreading bloodstain. Chris just gave him a hard look, silencing what he had been about to say.

Vin sighed. Won’t be talkin’ him outta this. "Don’t you get killed, Cowboy."

Chris nodded. "Hadn’t planned on it." He moved back toward where Vin had been hit, and into the open. Then made it seem like he was going for the horses. Buck carefully watched for their last rustler.

"C’mon, you idiot, jus’ pop up and let me kill you." Buck muttered. Vin shook his head wondering if Buck even knew what he was saying. Probably didn’t mean ta say that out loud.

Vin flinched when he heard shots fired. Shots that didn’t come from Buck’s rifle. Buck sighted in and fired once. Vin didn’t breath easy until he heard Chris give the all clear, letting them know he was all right at the same time. Vin moved to get up, but Buck’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. He glared at him. Buck looked back at him, unperturbed.
"Won’t hurt you ta sit there until Chris brings the horses around. Less ya have ta walk ‘round the better."

"Ain’t that bad, Buck."

"Then there’s no reason ta make it worse, now is there?"

Chris was back in a minute. He handed a canteen to Vin. Vin hadn’t realized just how thirsty he was until then. He was careful to take only a swallow or two. He knew better than to drink too much too fast when his stomach was unsettled. He made that mistake once before and ended up puking it all back up again. Not only had it hurt like hell, it had been embarrassing too. No point in actin’ like a greenhorn.

Chris also had a bottle of whiskey with him. He gently shifted the bandanas, and liberally doused Vin’s leg, making sure to get a fair amount into the hole on either side of his thigh. Vin hissed, but didn’t complain. He knew it was necessary. Chris wrapped another strip of cloth around his leg, tying it tightly. The bleeding had almost stopped.

Chris looked toward Buck. "Think you can get down ta check on the one in the canyon?"

Buck pursed his lips, and then nodded. "I ‘spect I can."

Vin knew Buck would find a way to take care of his friends no matter what. It was just the way he was. So if getting down meant he had to go on his hands and knees, then that’s what he would do. He’d make sure the threat below had been neutralized.

Chris nodded. "Good. Don’t want any surprises on the way down." The former ranger swung smoothly up on Lady, and moved to head down the trail. Vin hoped he made it down easier than it had been to get up. He wasn’t so sure about his own trip down.

Chris held out a hand and helped Vin to his feet. Vin swayed slightly, his whole world spinning for just a moment. Chris steadied him, letting him find his balance. He was careful not to put any more weight than absolutely necessary on his left leg.

"You sure you wanna ride down?"

"You offerin’ ta…carry me?" Vin panted, smirking slightly.

Chris snorted. "No. Just thought we might find an easier way."

"I ‘preciate…the offer, Cowboy, but…I don’t think…there is an easier way."

With Chris’ help Vin was able to mount Peso. He hung on to the saddle horn, his grip white knuckled for a moment as he dealt with the pain and brief bout of nausea. I will not puke. I. Will. Not. Puke.

He knew going down would not help his leg. The ride up had been tricky enough, but he couldn’t see any other way around it. If there was another way, it would be the long way around, and he wasn’t sure he could ride that far. Not for at least a day or more, and he wanted to go home. It had been a long four days without Ezra, and he didn’t want to spend another day away from him.

Buck had already made it down and was moving up the canyon to check on their last rustler. Vin could just make out the gray mare at the bottom. If Buck got down, well then, I guess I can too. He nudged Peso forward, and let him pick his own way down.

Vin did his best to position his weight to help the horse find his footing easier. Peso snorted, and slid. It hurt like hell, but Vin tightened his grip with his legs, maintaining his seat. He could feel blood running down his leg and knew he was bleeding again. Can’t be helped.

Peso picked his way down carefully. The gelding tucked his hindquarters neatly under him, nearly sitting down in places to maintain his footing. Peso jumped the last few feet from the bottom, landing soundly on all four legs, and shaking himself vigorously, nearly unseating Vin in the process.

Vin just hung on for a bit, waiting for Chris. At the moment, moving just wasn’t an option. He could hear Sable make his way down the trail, but didn’t turn around to look. Sure hope Chris has something else ta work as a bandage cause I think I’m gonna need it. Vin closed his eyes and just focused on breathing, trying to center himself. He’d been hurt worse, and knew he could handle this.

Chris pulled up next to him, and laid a hand on his arm. "You doin’ okay?" Dark blues eyes took on a darker shade in their concern.

"Yeah." Vin sighed. He hadn’t meant to worry Chris. "Jus’ need a minute. It’s only a flesh wound, Cowboy, nothin’ serious."

Chris shook his head, a dark sort of humor coloring his features. "It’s only a flesh wound when it happens to someone else."

Vin chuckled dryly. "I’ll try ta remember that."

Chris offered him the canteen again, and Vin took a long swallow. His stomach was settling. It usually did after a bit. He handed the canteen back to Chris. They waited for Buck.

Lady came trotting down the canyon a few minutes later. Buck pulled up next to them. "Looks like our rustler broke his leg when I shot ‘im off his horse. That boy ain’t gonna be ridin’ anywhere. Weren’t anyone else in the canyon."

Chris nodded. "All right." He scanned the area for a moment. "He where there’s some shade?"

Buck nodded. "You plannin’ ta wait here?"

"Yep." Chris lifted his hat and wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Figured you could go back ta town. Fetch Nate and a wagon. Me and Vin can just sit tight here with our prisoner and wait for ya. While your at it, might as well tell the undertaker that we got some bodies for ‘im if he’s willing ta come get ‘em. Far as I’m concerned the bastards can get eaten by the coyotes and buzzards."

Vin thought about objecting. He could ride back to town. It was only an hour. But the look on Chris’ face stopped him cold. He knew better than to argue with Chris when he looked like that. Now, Ez would find a way ta say somethin’, and get his own way, but I ain’t got his gift for words.

Buck must have seen something in his face. He patted Vin’s shoulder as he moved to leave. "Don’t sweat it, Vin. Somebody has ta keep Chris from killin’ that feller. Might as well be you as me." Buck smiled at him. "And there ain’t no reason ta bled anymore than ya have to. Town will still be there when ya get there."

With that Buck rode off at a fast trot, heading for Four Corners. Lady would eat up the distance easily. Vin shifted slightly in the saddle trying to ease the throb coming from his leg. Chris looked at him, studying him. Vin couldn’t even hazard a guess at what he saw.

"Let’s go find this idiot, and get settled in to wait. I’ll find another bandage for that leg o’ yours too." He smiled slightly at the suffering look Vin sent his way. "No reason for Nate ta be upset with both of us."

*******

Buck kept Lady moving at a fast trot. He took care not to push her too hard. The mare went willingly and smoothly, enjoying the chance to move over open country. Buck had paid what had seemed like an exorbitant price for her when he bought her three years ago, but he hadn’t had cause to regret it. Lady had been a good investment. He patted her neck; grateful she had as much heart as she did. All he ever had to do was ask and she gave all she had.

He was riding into Four Corners in less than an hour. He headed immediately for the livery. Buck was out of the saddle, and calling for Yosemite. "Need ya to get a wagon ready, and take care of Lady for me. I’ll be back for it soon as I get Nate."

The big man nodded and asked no questions. He ordered his son to take care of Lady while he hitched up a wagon. Buck always liked that the man could be trusted to simply do what was asked of him without asking a lot of needless, time consuming questions. Probably already knows I don’t want ta answer ‘em anyway.

Buck bounded up the stairs to Nathan’s clinic. He was hoping to catch the healer there. He opened the door, calling out even before he had the door all the way open. "Nathan! Ya in here?"

The healer seldom locked the door. So it being open didn’t really guarantee he’d be present. Seeing the clinic was empty, Buck hissed in annoyance. He didn’t want to waste time trying to track the man down. He knew Vin’s injury wasn’t life threatening, but he didn’t like seeing anyone suffer, especially his friends.

Having been in the clinic many, many times before, Buck knew where everything was. He also knew what he needed. Buck had done some rough and ready medicine in his day. Most of them had at one time or another, since doctors were few and far between. And given the treatment available under certain circumstances, Buck preferred not to go to a doctor. He wanted to keep his limbs, and surgeons seemed far too quick with saw for Buck to ever feel completely comfortable under their care.

Buck knew all that Vin really needed was to keep the wound clean, and some rest. He was sure that as long as there was no infection, Vin would be fine. Mother Nature will take care o’ the rest. She always does.

He gathered up a bottle of laudanum, fresh bandages, and another bottle of whiskey Nathan kept on hand to clean wounds with. As an afterthought he snagged something that would work as a splint for their prisoner. He looked at the teakettle for just a moment. Don’t know what all goes inta those stinky teas. Jus’ as well. Vin don’t like them anyway. Hell, nobody likes ‘em. Even if they do help, I think I’d just as soon suffer. Laudanum should do the trick until Nate can brew up a batch o’ his stuff.

Buck turned around ready to leave. Ezra and JD were on the landing. It didn’t look like either one would let him pass without asking a few questions or getting some answers.

"Where are Chris and Vin? We didn’t see them ride in with you." JD piped up first. "Did ya find the rustlers? Somebody get hurt? That why you’re lookin’ for Nate? He’s not here. Went ta see Mrs. Cavanaugh. He won’t be back for awhile yet."

Buck held up a hand ending the barrage of questions, and information. Can’t figure out jus’ how it is that boy can say so much in so little time. Ezra had just watched him silently, sharp eyes assessing everything about him. It was weird to have the gambler size him up, like he could tell everything that had happened just by looking at him. Knowing Ez, he probably can.

"We found the rustlers. Were seven of ‘em. Ended up having ta shoot it out."

Buck was surprised to see a look of fear and anger on Ezra’s face. Normally he couldn’t read the gambler at all. The con man was a master of showing only what he wanted others to see. Buck was never sure just how much was genuine and just how much was what Ezra put on for show. That look was definitely for real.

Buck blinked and Ezra’s appeared calm, and unconcerned. It was only the look in his eyes spoiled the affect, and confirmed that Buck hadn’t been imagining the earlier expression. Those jade green eyes had taken on a hard, unforgiving aspect, revealing some of the violent man beneath the indifferent facade. Kind o’ reminds me of Chris.

"Who was injured? And how badly?" The questions were quiet, but Buck could tell the answer was very important to Ezra. He almost suspected Ezra might hurt him if he didn’t answer and quickly. Ezra would not be brushed off or ignored the way JD might. Buck shook off the feeling that the questions were as much a demand for information as they were a subtle threat.

"Vin got shot in the leg." Ezra’s jaw tightened slightly, and JD looked like someone had just kicked him in the gut. "Ain’t bad, just painful." Buck was quick to offer reassurances.

Even though Ezra’s expression hadn’t altered, there was something about his posture that made Buck want to make sure the gambler knew that Vin would be okay. Buck was aware that the gambler cared more about the others than he let on. Don’t know why he can’t just admit that we’re friends, and it’s all right ta worry ‘bout all o’ us. Ain’t like we don’t worry ‘bout him too.

"Had the bleeding under control, and got it cleaned up with some of Chris’ whiskey. He jus’ ain’t up ta riding back ta town." Buck smiled. "Not that Vin would agree with that. Ya know how he is."

"What about Chris?" JD asked.

"Chris is fine. But we got one rustler left, but he ain’t in any shape ta ride either. Figured I’d come back and get a wagon."

Ezra took a breath and there was a slight easing of the set of his shoulders. The understated air of menace, mingled with concern, that he’d worn only a minute earlier had disappeared, replaced with determination. "I’ll see to retrieving Mr. Jackson. Tell me where you left Vin and Mr. Larabee, and we will join you there."

Hunh. Must be a first. He called Vin by his first name, but not Chris. And the man usually has more ta say than that. Half the time I can’t understand him, but today, he ain’t said any more than anyone else would have. And what was with that look earlier? Somethin’ weird here.

Buck gave directions, figuring he could always ask about Ezra’s strange behavior later. Ezra recited them back to him, word for word. It had always amazed him just how quickly the gambler could relay information, not missing a trick, or altering a single detail. There was no doubt that Ezra knew where Chris and Vin were, and could lead Nathan there.

Ezra was down the steps using a swift, yet graceful, economy of motion that Buck absently admired even as he followed hard on his heels. JD was just a step behind. Buck sent a concerned glance toward JD.

"You gonna be okay in town by yerself, Kid?" Buck figured if Josiah had been in town he would have been on the landing too. He hadn’t seen any sign of the big ex-preacher since he rode into town.

JD rolled his eyes. "Yes, Buck." He waved a hand toward where Yosemite was almost done hitching the wagon. "You’ll be back before nightfall. I can handle things ‘til you get back."

Buck was surprised to see Ezra wasn’t saddling Chaucer. He’d selected a rental horse. A long-legged bay with great conformation, that Buck knew to be almost as temperamental as Chaucer. Despite his good looks, Dandy wasn’t a horse that got used much because of his some times difficult disposition.

"What’s wrong with Chaucer?"

"Nothing." Ezra answered, as he deftly smoothed his saddle blanket over the bay’s back, and neatly avoided the horse’s attempt to nip at him. "I have already ridden him several miles this morning. He has performed his duty today. It would not be prudent to overtax him."

Buck nodded. He knew Ezra would not overwork his horse. He babies that damn horse more than most people do their kids. Course I got no room ta talk. I don’t work Lady any harder than I have to either.

Ezra looked at Yosemite as he swung up in the saddle, calmly ignoring the way Dandy danced in place eager to move. "I shall make restitution when I return, Sir."

"No problem, Mr. Standish." Yosemite tipped his head. "Dandy needs some of the piss an’ vinegar worked outta him anyway."

Ezra raised two fingers to his hat. "Mr. Jackson and I shall meet up with you shortly, Mr. Wilmington."

He nodded toward JD. "Please explain to the children that I will be unable to continue their lessons today. I will apologize to them formally upon my return."

JD nodded. "I’ll take care of it, Ez. They’ll understand that something came up."

Ezra touched his heels to Dandy’s sides, and the horse took off at a ground-devouring lope. Buck shook his head. If he didn’t get going, Ezra might just beat him there. He hadn’t realized how fast Dandy was. Bet Ez knew. Probably one o’ the reasons he picked him. Dandy ain’t any worse behaved than Chaucer. Doubt he’ll be anything Ez can’t handle.

Buck put the bundle of supplies he’d taken from the clinic in the wagon. He threw an arm over JD’s shoulders, and pulled him into a loose brotherly hug. "You look after things ‘til we get back."

JD nodded. "No problem. I’ll be waitin’ for ya. And I’ll let Josiah know what happened when he gets back."

Buck slapped him on the back before leaping up into the wagon’s seat. "See ya soon, kid. We’ll be home ‘fore ya know it."

*******

Ezra forced himself to take a deep breath, and calm down. His fear and anxiety were being communicated to Dandy. The young gelding kept trying to break into a gallop, forcing Ezra to rein him in slightly. He was a young horse with had energy to burn, but they had some miles to go, and Ezra needed him to go the full distance. There was no way he could travel the whole way at a dead run.

Getting to Vin was of utmost importance, so pacing Dandy was necessary. Ezra needed to see for himself that Vin wasn’t seriously injured. Needed to confirm with his own eyes that he hadn’t just lost the person who gave his life meaning for the first time in years.

Buck said it wasn’t serious. A minor injury. He damn well better not have lied. Ezra promised himself there would be swift, and painful retribution, if Buck had been less than completely honest. The ladies man would come to know the full meaning of the word fury if he failed to tell Ezra the truth about Vin’s condition.

He tried to reassure himself that he would have been able to tell if Buck had been lying. He made a living out of being able to read people, and Buck was not good at hiding his thoughts or emotions. Under Ezra’s sharp gaze, the man was as open as a child. He didn’t seem panicked or overly concerned.

But Ezra knew his own strong emotions might have clouded his judgement. He wanted Vin to be okay, so he might well have been trying to read in Buck’s attitude and mannerisms that there was nothing to worry about. Hope and fear raged a constant battle inside him from the minute he saddled Dandy.

He and JD were just leaving the restaurant when Buck had come riding into town. Ezra had known immediately that something was wrong because Buck had come in alone. The others would have been with him if everything had been okay. Buck’s quick ascension to the clinic made him fear the worst.

It wasn’t dignified to race up the stairs after him, but Ezra didn’t care. He had run up the stairs, right along with JD. He needed to know what had happened and who was hurt. There would have been no need for Nathan if everything had gone smoothly. Ezra had come close to throttling Buck when the ladies man had been slow to answer JD’s questions.

When Buck mentioned they’d shot it out with seven outlaws, Ezra hadn’t been able to breathe. Seven to three were long odds. Not a gamble he would have agreed to take. With his own life, maybe, but not with Vin’s.

It was unthinkable that Vin was dead. It would have been like the sun failing to rise. For a moment he feared the worst, his heart bleeding at the thought of being alone again. It was too soon. He wasn’t ready to loose those bright blue eyes, that little smile, the poet and friend, the gentle morning kisses when he was barely awake, to never again run his fingers through those curling silky strands of hair…no. That was simply not an option.

Ezra had gotten a firm grip on himself. Buck would have told them immediately if either Chris or Vin were dead. He would have looked as devastated as Ezra felt. That meant injured, wounded, but alive. He could handle injured as long as Vin was alive. He would deal with punishing those who’d caused him harm in do course. It was more important to see to it that Vin was brought safely back to Four Corners.

Buck said there was only one rustler left, and he was also injured. Ezra felt a vicious satisfaction at hearing the others were dead, and the last was hurting. He would have liked for them all to suffer, but he would settle for knowing they were put down permanently, never to cause trouble to anyone important to him ever again.

He turned Dandy toward the Cavanaugh farm. Nathan should be there by now. Ezra hoped he’d managed to finish whatever he was doing, because Ezra was in no mood to wait. There was no one in this world who’s well being he valued more than Vin’s.

You better be all right when I get to you Vin Tanner. You had better be.

*******

Nathan glanced at Ezra again. The gambler hadn’t said two words to him since he’d met up with Nathan on his way back to Four Corners and informed him he was needed elsewhere. Ezra’s silence worried him. The man was never quiet. Nathan found himself wondering if things were worse than Ezra had told him.

From Ezra’s brief description of things, it sounded like Buck, Chris and Vin might have taken on more than they could handle. Damn fools don’t know any better than ta wait for help. Seven ta three. What the hell were they thinking?

Nathan was grateful that only one of them had been wounded. He hated spending time patching up his friends. He didn’t like them being hurt. Nathan knew it was one of the hazards of the job, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. His skills had improved dramatically over the past year, but he couldn’t help wishing he didn’t have to practice them quite so frequently.

They pulled up near the mouth of the canyon, slowing their horses to a walk. Dandy danced slightly, bobbing his head in annoyance, stepping high and pulling at the bit, still eager to keep moving. Nathan scowled as Dandy bumped into Abe, shoving his mount and forcing Nathan to adjust his balance.

Damn horse. Chaucer, might try ta bite ya, but at least he doesn’t dance around like that. "Don’t know why ya picked him, Ezra. Damn horse fidgets worse than a kid with ants in his pants." Nathan all but snarled.

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Dandy is young, Mr. Jackson, it is expected that he ‘fidget’. His inability to be still is the reason I selected him."

Nathan bit back a retort. He knew he was just anxious about Chris and Vin. There was no reason to take it out on Ezra. Once he had a chance to see just what he was dealing with he’d be able to settle down. The unknown made him edgy.

He only had minimal supplies on hand at the moment, and he had no way of knowing if that would be enough. Ezra had said Buck would be bringing additional supplies that he’d gathered from the clinic. Unfortunately, Nathan didn’t know what Buck had or when he would arrive. He hated the idea that he would have come to help, only to be unable to do anything to ease a friend’s pain and suffering, simply because he was unprepared.

They found Vin and Chris, half way into the canyon, relaxing in shade. Vin was reclining against a scraggly looking tree. Chris sat just off to one side, keeping an eye on a man Nathan assumed was the injured rustler. The rustler didn’t look like he’d be causing trouble any time soon.

Chris rose smoothly to his feet when they approached. "About time you got here." He growled slightly. Nathan noticed that there was no more than Chris’ usual level of impatience in that statement. The gunslinger didn’t seem too worried or upset.

Nathan dismounted. He was surprised to note that Ezra was already out of the saddle and headed for Vin. Ezra crouched down next to the tracker, near enough to touch. Nathan got the distinct impression Ezra was holding himself back, keeping himself from touching Vin even though he was in a position to do so easily. Ezra’s green eyes were roving over Vin, cataloging every detail.

"Are you all right?" When Ezra asked that question, Nathan was surprised by just how much concern he could hear in the conman’s voice. Huh. Knew they were friends, but normally Ez doesn’t show it much.

Vin smiled slightly. "Jus’ a scratch, Ez."

Nathan’s eyes flicked toward Chris briefly, seeking confirmation of that. Vin wasn’t always the best judge of his own health. Man refuses to admit he’s hurt most o’ the time. I’m pretty sure he could be bleedin’ ta death and he’d still say it was just a scratch.

Chris nodded once agreeing with Vin’s assessment. Nathan relaxed a bit. The dark clad leader would have been demanding assistance if he felt Vin needed swift and immediate attention. Instead he’d kept his attention on their prisoner, casually greeting Nathan and Ezra with a brief two-finger salute.

Vin held out a hand that Ezra immediately took. Chris looked pointedly at Nathan, almost as if he was asking the healer to give them privacy. Nathan was baffled as to why Chris would want him to, but did his best not to stare.

The lean gunslinger approached Nathan, partially blocking his view of Vin and Ezra. Chris nodded toward their prisoner. "Ya might wanna take a look at him, Nate."

Nathan raised his eyebrows at that. Normally anyone and everyone took second place behind treating one of their own. He curbed his natural urge to jump right into checking on Vin’s injury because the look Chris sent him made it clear his earlier statement had been an order, not a request. Vin is awake, and aware, and his injury doesn’t look life threatening, so I guess he can wait a minute, even if I don’t know why Chris wants him to.

He glanced over his shoulder and caught a glimpse of Vin squeezing Ezra’s hand once. Vin was still smiling. "Honest, Ez. Ain’t that bad."

Ezra raised an eyebrow and looked at Vin’s leg. Vin shrugged. "The bleeding stopped. It looks worse than it is."

Nathan paid attention to what Vin had to say even as he focused on the prisoner in front of him. He was relieved to hear that the bleeding had stopped. He would be glad when he could get a look for himself. But right now he would help the man in front of him.

At some point Chris must of bound the man’s bullet wound. The bullet had passed through the man’s left bicep. It was a minor flesh wound, painful but not life threatening, or debilitating. He wouldn’t be finding it easy to use that arm for a while though. The broken left leg was a clean break and wouldn’t take much to set. Nathan was pretty sure that it had to hurt like hell. The man was quiet though. He kept sending fearful looks toward Chris.

Chris probably put the fear of God into ‘im. Hell, I like the man, and sometimes he scares me too. Nathan looked up, meeting Chris’ cool gaze. "We’ll wait ta set it until Buck gets here ta set the leg. For now he should be all right. Looks like ya did a good job wrapping up his arm."

Chris nodded. He looked toward Vin and Ezra. Nathan didn’t know what he was looking for, but whatever it was, he must have found it, because he waved a hand toward them, giving Nathan permission to check on Vin. Finally.

Ezra looked away from Vin as Nathan approached. "Perhaps a professional opinion on your health is needed, Mr. Tanner. Mr. Jackson, if you would be so kind." He waved a hand toward Vin’s injured left leg, inviting Nathan to take a look.

Nathan stepped forward, more than ready to help. "Ezra, I need you ta give me some more room here."

Ezra shifted his weight. "Certainly, Mr. Jackson." He moved to step away, but Vin’s hold on his hand kept him from moving to far.

"Stay close."

Ezra smiled slightly. "As you wish." Vin let go, when Ezra settled himself on the ground next to him. Far enough away not to interfere with Nathan’s examination, but close enough that Vin could reach out and touch him if he wanted to.

Nathan looked over the rough bandage that had been applied. "You cleaned this first?"

"Yep. Chris had whiskey with ‘im."

Nathan nodded. Whiskey was usually the best thing they had on hand at any point in time. Nathan was fairly certain the rotgut that Chris drank could kill damn near anything. He was pretty sure that it would some day be the death of Chris as well.

He shifted the bandage slightly so he could get a better look at the wound. The hole was neat and clean where the bullet entered. It was bigger and raw looking where the bullet had exited. There was no way to really stitch a puncture wound like this. And as long as the bleeding had stopped, and it stayed clean, Nathan was fairly certain it would heal just fine.

He nodded. "Looks okay. I’ll wanna clean it again when Buck gets here, but ya should heal up just fine. You’ll have ta stay off your feet for a bit, but then I don’t imagine you’re gonna walk much on it for at least a few days."

Ezra raised a hand to rub his eyes. Nathan was surprised to see that Ezra’s fingers were trembling slightly. He pursed his lips in concern when he realized that the gambler looked relieved and very tired at the same time. More than tired, the man looked exhausted. Ezra’s normally fair complexion was decidedly pale at the moment. If he weren’t sitting down, I’m pretty sure the man would fall down.

JD had asked Nathan if he thought Ezra might be working to hard before the gambler had joined them for lunch. He’d scoffed at the idea of the shiftless conman doing too much of anything that resembled work. Looking at the man now, Nathan wondered if JD might not have noticed something he’d missed. He knew that Ezra had double duty while Vin, Chris and Buck were gone, but he hadn’t really thought much of it. He’d been more focused on his own responsibilities. And it wasn’t like JD and Josiah weren’t also working just as hard.

He didn’t eat much for lunch. But it ain’t like he ever eats that much. Still he was off is feed enough today for me to notice it. That’s a bit odd right there. Unless he’s bleeding or unconscious it’s damn near impossible ta tell if there’s somethin’ wrong. An’ him lettin’ Vin touch him is weird too. So’s Vin wanting ta touch. He ain’t the sort to get touchy feely when he’s been hurt. Man’s more inclined to hide somewhere like a wounded wolf. Chris is acting a little off as well. Wanting me ta check on that rustler ‘fore I look at Vin just isn’t normal.

Nathan shook his head. None of these thoughts made any sense and served no purpose. They’d just make him crazy, and from the looks of it there was enough craziness to go around with out him adding to it.

"You feeling all right, Ezra?" Nathan asked, eyeing the man carefully.

The gambler looked at him mildly. Nathan wasn’t sure how he did it, but Ezra didn’t look like he had just a moment ago. Almost all traces of his earlier exhaustion were gone. It was like someone had erased a blackboard leaving a clean slate behind.

"I assure you, Mr. Jackson, I am fine."

Vin’s eyes narrowed. "Ez?" Evidently he’d seen the same thing Nathan had because there was an astonishing amount of unease in that softly voiced, one word question.

Ezra shared a look with Vin. Nathan expected Ezra to repeat his earlier statement that he was fine. Instead, Ezra dipped his head slightly. "I’m tired, Vin. That’s all. I’ve not yet been to bed."

"You worked last night?"

Ezra nodded. "And this morning."

"You took my patrol?"

"Yes."

Vin’s jaw tightened. "An’ how long you been workin’ double shifts back ta back?"

Ezra smiled slightly and waved a hand in dismissal. His smile was warm, an open, honest expression that was directed solely toward Vin. It was one Nathan could not remember having seen before. It made him wonder just how good of friends Vin and Ezra had become.

"It is not important."

"Yeah. It is." Vin was insistent.

"It was necessary for someone to cover the shifts the three of you normally work." Ezra pointed out reasonably. "We were short handed."

Vin didn’t look convinced. "Who got Chris and Buck’s shifts?"

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Mr. Dunne and Mr. Sanchez. I am not the only one who worked extra duty. We’ve all had to pitch in."

"Yer the only one who worked ‘em back ta back."

Ezra sighed. "Someone would have gotten the short straw, Mr. Tanner. It was inevitable."
Nathan watched in surprise when Vin sent a venomous look toward Chris. He knew Vin and Chris had disagreements in the past, but usually Vin sided with Chris whenever it came down to something serious. The two of them tended to share similar views on almost everything. Maybe not everything. Vin tends ta take care of his friends. And he is most definitely claiming Ezra as a friend. So if he thinks Chris is wrong…well, he wouldn’t hesitate ta say so.

"It ain’t always gotta be you, Ez." Vin stated softly, and with conviction. Chris arched an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything.

Ezra reached out and placed a hand on Vin’s shoulder. When Vin redirected his gaze to Ezra, the gambler’s green eyes were bright with an emotion Nathan wasn’t sure he could name. He felt like he was intruding on a very private moment, but found himself unable to look away.

"It isn’t always me, Vin."

Nathan blinked at Ezra’s use of Vin’s first name. It was usually only in times of great stress that Ezra forgot himself and used any of their first names. In a weird way, Nathan had found Ezra’s continued reference to him as Mr. Jackson to be a sign of his respect. Or at the very least, a sign that he regarded Nathan as no less than the others since he routinely referred to them by their surnames as well. Man must be real tired to have let that slip out.

"Better not be you the next time." Vin said firmly. Even with out looking at Chris, Vin managed to somehow include him in that statement.

Ezra hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "Unless the situation requires it."

Vin rolled his eyes. "You always hedge your bets?"

Ezra grinned, dimples flashing briefly. "Only when I feel it may be prudent to do so. As you are well aware, I abhor gambling."

Further conversation was interrupted by Buck’s arrival. The jovial ladies man grinned as he pulled up. "Y’all ready ta go home?"

"More than ready." Chris replied.

"Got some stuff here for ya, Nate." Buck called out as he jumped down.

Nathan headed for the wagon to retrieve whatever supplies Buck had brought with him. He offered laudanum to Vin before attempting to remove the existing bandage and clean his wound again. Nathan knew the ride home would likely be unpleasant for Vin. Being bounced around in a wagon over rough terrain could be hard on even a healthy man. The laudanum would take the edge off. He expected Vin to refuse, knowing how much he hated to take anything that robbed him of complete control. But a hard look from Ezra and the tracker quietly drank a mouth full of the potent drug.

He was at his heart an essentially practical man. So even though he didn’t know how or why Ezra managed to convince Vin to take the medicine, Nathan wouldn’t question too closely anything that made his job easier, and helped his patient. Mysteries could wait for another time.

Nathan deftly cleaned and rebound Vin’s leg. "Chris, help Ezra get Vin loaded up in the wagon. Would be best if he laid down for the trip home."

Nathan fully expected the tracker to object, and was only mildly surprised when he didn’t. He recalled how a month ago Vin had gotten Ezra to come to the clinic with little fuss, and submit to an examination. Must be a day for firsts. He drank the laudanum, and is going to ride home in the wagon without raising a fuss. Might be a good idea ta remember ta treat Vin with Ezra around. And Ezra with Vin around. Vin sure seemed ta keep Ezra cooperative last month.

"Buck, help me set this guy’s leg." Nathan ordered. When it came to treating injuries, he was in charge, so no one objected to being ordered about.

Buck helped him set and splint the rustler’s leg. Nathan offered the man some laudanum as well. Not entirely because he wanted to ease the man’s pain, but because he knew a large enough dose would guarantee the man stayed quiet the whole way back to Four Corners. Last thing I need is for this damn fool to decide to try and escape. At best he’d only hurt himself more, and at worse he’d hurt one o’ us.

Between Buck and Nathan, they managed to get the man loaded as well. Vin was lying near the front of the wagon. His head was pillowed on Ezra’s lap, eyes closed, and his feet were raised slightly resting on extra bedroll. The tracker looked comfortable.

Nathan had expected Chris to be the one to ride with Vin. Maybe Vin’s still mad at him over Ezra working double shifts. When Nathan raised an eyebrow in surprise, the gambler shrugged.

"Mr. Tanner indicated he would be more comfortable this way." Ezra smiled slightly. Nathan figured if Chris had any objections he would have voiced them, so he might as well just go with it.

Ezra nodded toward the rustler they’d just helped into the wagon. "And from here, I will be able to easily observe our remaining miscreant." The smile remained in place, but there was something hard and unforgiving in Ezra’s eyes. "He will cause no trouble on the way back to Four Corners."

Nathan nodded. Way Ezra looks, that man so much as twitches and Ezra will shoot ‘im. Nathan didn’t entirely understand the gambler’s animosity, but decided it probably was related to the other mysteries he’d already encountered today.

Mentally Nathan shrugged. Don’t matter if Ezra rides in the wagon. Probably won’t hurt him none to relax for a bit, rather than ta ride home. He hadn’t forgotten just how pale Ezra had been just a little while ago, or how tired he’d looked. He made a promise to himself to pay more attention to his friends in the future.

Never should have brushed off JD’s concerns. If he noticed something, then by God I should have too. Ain’t much of a healer if I can’t do that. Been workin’ with Ezra long enough that I ought ta be able ta tell when he’s not at his best. Don’t care how good a conman he is. Can’t be that good if JD noticed. Means it’s my fault, not his, that I didn’t see that something wasn’t right.

Chris tied Dandy and Peso to the wagon, and swung up on Sable. Buck settled himself in the driver’s seat He gathered up the reins before twisting in the seat so he could look toward Vin and Ezra. If the ladies man thought it odd that Ezra was riding with Vin and not Chris he didn’t show it. He’d known Chris the longest, so maybe he’d learned not to question the man’s occasionally odd behavior.

"You two just make yourselves comfortable, and leave the drivin’ ta ol’ Buck. I’ll get ya home safe and sound."

"Of that, I have no doubt, Mr. Wilmington. I would appreciate as smooth a ride as you can manage. And I’m sure Mr. Tanner would as well."

Buck chuckled. "I’ll do my best, Ez."

Nathan swung up on Abe. He fell in line on the right side of the wagon. Chris was on the left. Nathan would feel better once they were all back in Four Corners where they belonged. Then he’d have time to ponder some of the mysteries this trip had brought to his attention.

********

Chris kept a watchful eye on Vin. The wound wasn’t serious, but Vin was still his best friend, and he couldn’t help but worry about the younger man. Every once in awhile, the wagon would hit a particularly rough spot, eliciting a low moan from their prisoner. Nathan looked at him from time to time, but there wasn’t anything he could do for them man that he hadn’t already done.

Vin, on the other hand, was quiet. Chris could tell the tracker was sleeping soundly. That surprised him. He knew Vin hadn’t been sleeping well since they left Four Corners. With the rough ride, and his injury, Chris expected Vin to still be awake. He glanced at Ezra and wondered if the gambler might not have something to do with how well Vin was resting. Could just be the laudanum too. But Chris didn’t think so.

Cool green eyes met his gaze. Ezra raised an eyebrow in inquiry. Chris nodded toward Vin. Ezra looked down. Chris watched in amazement as the normally unconcerned, neutral expression gave way for a moment to something incredibly warm and tender. It wasn’t a look anyone else saw. Buck was driving, and Nathan’s attention was temporarily focused on their prisoner.

The gambler raised a hand to gently brush back Vin’s hair. When Vin muttered in his sleep, Ezra leaned forward slightly. To Chris’ surprise the gambler murmured something in French. Whatever he said made Vin smile slightly and settle again.

"He is resting comfortably, Mr. Larabee." Ezra looked up to meet Chris’ gaze, his poker face was again firmly in place. "There is no cause for concern."

Chris nodded and looked away. Didn’t know Vin spoke French. But then I get the feeling there’s a lot about both of them I don’t know anymore. Maybe I never did. It isn’t like any of us talk much about the past.

With a start, Chris realized that all he really knew about Vin’s past was the man was wanted for a murder he didn’t commit, he’d spent some time with different tribes over the years, and his mother had died when he was little. Even when he’d known nothing about the man, Chris had trusted Vin implicitly. They had worked together like they’d known each other their entire lives. He felt so connected to the younger man, Chris hadn’t thought the details of his past mattered. Didn’t matter before…then I guess, after everything we’ve been through, they shouldn’t matter now.

He knew even less about Ezra than he did about Vin. Finding out the man’s mother was still alive had stunned him. Somehow he’d been sure that Ezra was alone in the world. But then, Ezra was constantly surprising him. Every time he thought he had the gambler neatly pegged, Ezra went and did something unexpected. Funny thing is, I’m sure if I asked him, he’d tell me. It’s worked before. Haven’t really thought to try doing it since then.

He found himself thinking about the conversation he’d had with Vin that morning. He couldn’t help but wonder if Ezra’s answer would match Vin’s. Chris suspected they would. The language would be more eloquent, flowery even, but the sentiment would undoubtedly be the same.

When he’d fallen for Sarah, Chris remembered not wanting to be more than a few feet away from her. He’d done all sorts of stupid things just to make her laugh. He worked his ass off to give her everything and anything she wanted. Even though he’d always been a reserved sort, not willing to show much affection in public, he held her hand when they went places together, or would place a kiss on her cheek when they had to part company in town. He controlled his temper for her. He didn’t drink as much because she didn’t like it. He smiled more around her, and it was painfully obvious to anyone that he was in love with Sarah.

Maybe he doubted the depth of Vin and Ezra’s feelings because they weren’t putting them on display the way he’d expected them to. Oh he knew they had to be careful in town. And he knew why. Even agreed with the reasons. But he also knew first hand that love made you feel like you could take on the world. It had a tendency to make people careless, and prone to being stupid.

There were little things. Like Vin offering Ezra his hand earlier, or the look on Ezra’s face a moment ago. But for the most part there was nothing blatant. Nearly everything could be explained away as just being good friends. Their relationship hadn’t gotten in the way of performing their duties. If it weren’t for the fact that he already knew they were now a couple, he would have no reason to suspect it from their recent behavior. For all intents and purposes very little in their day to day activities had changed much. Both of them had been careful not to say or do anything in public that would blatantly suggest they were together.

Chris hadn’t realized, until Vin asked, that he’d assigned double duty to Ezra with back to back shifts. He had simply picked the man he thought could handle the job. He hadn’t wanted JD out of town, on his own, where he might encounter more trouble than the young sheriff could handle. Nathan had his other obligations to the town, which required him to stay close. That left Ezra or Josiah. The gambler hadn’t complained or objected when Chris had handed out the duty assignments before they left.

For the first time Chris wondered if the man felt like he couldn’t object. Chris had made his acceptance of their relationship conditional on their ability to continue to do their jobs. Chris realized with some surprise that Ezra took giving his word just as seriously as Vin did. Both of them rarely gave it, but when they did, there was no doubt they would follow through. And Ezra had promised that his involvement with Vin would not interfere with his duties as a peacekeeper.

Chris found himself wondering just how much Ezra would be willing to take to keep his word. He realized it wasn’t just his word that Ezra was determined to keep. He wants Vin. And for them to stay together in Four Corners…that means he has to put up with a lot. Hell, they both do. Have to be constantly on their guard. Skulking around, and hiding how they feel.

Remembering the early days with Sarah, Chris decided that was a shitty situation. And it might well be one he might have contributed to. Chris sighed silently. He realized that he could have assigned Vin’s patrol to Ezra unconsciously as a test. If he had, then it was petty. He was better than that. And, as a friend, he owed them more than that.

He looked toward Vin again. Man is your best friend, Larabee. Be happy that he’s happy even if it isn’t what you would have wanted for yourself. He glanced at Ezra. You’ve had your differences in the past, but when push came to shove the man has always been there for you. Least you can do is the same for him.

Chris nodded to himself. His mind on the matter made up. In the past month he had no reason to doubt them, and it was about time he accepted them, unconditionally. As soon as he had a moment alone with them, he’d let them know that.

*******

Vin didn’t remember much of the trip back to town. He had quietly insisted that Ezra ride in the wagon with him when Chris and Ezra had helped him get settled in. After spending four days away from his lover, Vin wanted him close. Even if they couldn’t really do anything, he still wanted to be near Ezra. Wanted to be able to touch and be touched.

Despite the nagging ache from the hole in his leg, Vin hadn’t been so content since he’d hugged Ezra good-bye. He felt safe with Ezra on guard. He knew the gambler would keep watch for him. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Chris or Buck to do it. Not really. He just felt better knowing it was Ezra. And he could smell the faint trace of lavender and sandalwood that seemed to have been permanently imprinted on his soul. It was a fragrance that had come to signify that all was right with his world.

Between the feeling of contentment and the laudanum, Vin was asleep almost as soon had he laid his head in Ezra’s lap. Vin vaguely remembered stirring once or twice, but each time he did Ezra would run fingers through his hair and murmur something in French. Vin was beginning to recognize some of the phrases that Ezra used, but he didn’t really understand all of what was said. It was more the tone than the words that settled him. Ezra frequently spoke words of love and affection in French, making it something of a language just for the two of them.

Buck had stopped the wagon next to the jail. The tall man jumped down in one easy move. And moved around to the back of the wagon. JD was quick to join him, all but launching himself off the boardwalk.

"You’re back." JD stated with obvious enthusiasm.

"Yeah, Kid we’re back." Buck punched him lightly on the arm. "Ya miss us?"

JD shrugged. "Not really." His grin belied that statement. "You have any trouble?"
"Nah. Josiah get back?"

"Not yet. He should be here soon though."

Vin woke fully when the wagon had come to a halt. He heard Buck and JD talking. Vin blinked slowly, and raised his head. "We home?"

Ezra smiled slightly. "Yes."

"Now you just stay put, Vin." Nathan admonished Vin as he dismounted, even though Vin hadn’t done anything more than raise his head.

Buck wagged a finger at him in a ‘shame on you motion’, grinning broadly as he did so. "Ya can just sit tight for a minute. Figure we’ll off load this feller first." Buck nodded toward their prisoner. "With that leg o’ his, he ain’t gonna wanna walk to far, and I sure as hell don’t want ta carry im."

JD moved to assist Buck. "This guy one o’ the rustlers?"

Buck gave him a pointed look, and heaved a tired, long-suffering sigh. "Who else did ya think it would be, Kid? Somebody we just picked up on the way ta town?"

JD slapped him on the arm. "I was just askin’, Buck."

Vin sat up slowly ignoring Nathan’s order to stay put. He felt Ezra shift slightly to support his back, letting Vin lean against him. Vin sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face. He hated laudanum. It always made him feel slightly disconnected when he woke. He felt like he was trying to move through water.

Nathan shot a hard look at Vin. "Don’t be getting any ideas about moving around. We’ll get you up to the clinic once they get him settled."

"I ain’t going ta the clinic." Vin stated firmly. He had just spent the last four days sleeping alone. He sure as hell wasn’t going to spend another night without Ezra. There was no way they’d be able to be together in the clinic. That damn cot is too small fer both o’ us. Never mind the fact that Nate don’t know about me an’ Ez. An’ this sure as hell isn’t how I plan ta tell him.

Nathan paused in helping Buck and JD with the wounded rustler, carefully maneuvering the splinted leg. "You can’t sleep in that wagon o’ yours."

Vin scowled. He didn’t like being ordered around. There was nothing wrong with his wagon. It had been a perfectly serviceable shelter before he came to Four Corners. Besides it wasn’t like he’d slept in it for over a month or that he planned to sleep there tonight either.

"And I need ta keep an eye on that leg ta make sure it don’t get infected." Nathan added that argument when he’d seen Vin’s expression.

"No." Vin said even more firmly. He was not going to give way on this. Not this time. "I ain’t stayin’ in the clinic, Nate."

Nathan frowned. "I know you don’t like it, but—"

"No."

Nathan sighed, exasperated. "Vin—"

"No."

Ezra placed a hand on Vin’s shoulder. "Gentlemen, please. It is unseemly to argue in a public thoroughfare. Perhaps an agreement can be reached. A compromise that will satisfy both your needs."

Nathan frowned. "Compromise?" The healer wasn’t used to having to settle. He rarely had to give way where the well being of a wounded friend was concerned.

Vin looked at Ezra. He figured Ezra wasn’t any more inclined to sleep alone than he was. Can’t really suggest his room though without raisin’ a few eyebrows. But he’s got to have an idea. He usually does.

"What ya got in mind, Ez?" Vin asked, hoping his lover would have something convincing to say that would satisfy Nathan and still let them sleep together.

Chris spoke up for the first time, casually interrupting what Ezra had been about to say. "Vin can stay in my room at the boarding house." Vin and Nathan both looked at him in surprise. "It’s on the first floor so Vin won’t have to deal with stairs. And it’s better than his wagon.".

Nathan opened his mouth to protest but Chris silenced him with a hard look. "You can keep just as good an eye on him there as you can in the clinic. And if it makes Vin comfortable enough ta rest, I don’t see where it will hurt."

Vin pursed his lips, and considered Chris’ offer. He shared a look with Chris. He wasn’t sure what had happened on the ride home, but somewhere along the line Chris seemed to have finally, and fully, accepted his relationship with Ezra. He wouldn’t have made the offer of his room if he hadn’t. Chris knows how much bein’ with Ez means ta me. Knows we’ll be sharin’ that bed.

Ezra raised an eyebrow, and regard Chris quizzically. A look passed between them and Ezra smiled slightly. He tipped his head, and raised two fingers to the brim of his hat. Vin knew Ezra rarely had a problem reading Chris. The gambler had to have seen the same degree of approval and acceptance in Chris’ offer that Vin had.

"Where you plan on sleepin’ then, Chris?" Buck asked. Buck winked, and waggled his eyebrows. "Got me a lady friend who’d put ya up for the night if ya need a place."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Don’t worry about it, Buck." He turned Sable so he could reach to untie Peso and Dandy. With his back to Nathan, Buck and JD, Chris sent a sly look toward Vin and Ezra. "I’m sure I’ll be able ta find a place."

Vin chuckled. "Ya can use my wagon." He offered, knowing full well Chris planned to be sleeping in Ezra’s room, in Ezra’s feather bed. I know just how comfortable that bed is. Lot better’n my wagon, that’s for sure.

JD piped up. "Ain’t gotta sleep in Vin’s wagon, Chris. Ya can use my room if ya want. For tonight anyway. I’ve got the late shift so I won’t be needing it."

Nathan looked at JD in surprise. "That’s Ezra’s shift."

JD shrugged. "Was his shift. I offered ta switch with him. Got bored doing the same stuff all the time. Asked Ez this morning if he’d switch with me, and he said yes."

Chris nodded. "Then it’s settled. Buck, you and JD get this idiot settled in the jail. Nathan, why don’t you take the wagon over ta the boarding house. Ezra can help you get Vin settled while I take care of the horses."

Vin relaxed. He hadn’t expected it to be that easy. Or to have an entire night with Ezra. Vin had been fairly certain that Ezra would have to leave at midnight. He shot a hard look at his lover as Nathan got into the driver’s seat and headed the wagon toward the boarding house.

"Ya didn’t say you had the night off." Vin accused quietly.

Ezra smiled slightly. A faint blush dusted his cheeks. "Would you believe me if I said I had forgotten?"

"Yeah." Vin nodded. "I would." It had been a long day. Had it been Ezra who’d been wounded, Vin knew without a doubt, he’d have forgotten nearly everything else as well. ’Sides, the man is tired. Won’t hurt him any ta not have ta work tonight. Have ta remember ta say thank you to JD for offerin’ ta take the late shift for Ez. Pretty damn sure the kid didn’t offer jus’ cause he was bored. Kid is shaper than they think.

Nathan pulled up beside the boarding house. Ezra helped Vin to the edge of the wagon. Vin took a breath. His leg went from being a dull ache to a throbbing, intense pain when he started moving. He had dealt with worse in his life. The nap he’d gotten on the trip back had helped a lot.

Ezra slid to the ground. Not wanting to wait for Nathan, Vin hopped off the wagon, balancing his weight on one leg, while using Ezra as a crutch. The slight differences in their respective heights made it natural, rather than awkward, for Vin to lean into Ezra. His arm across Ezra’s shoulders made it surprisingly easy for him to maintain his balance, and upright stance. He kept his wounded leg straight, finding the act of bending it just a bit more than he could handle at the moment.

"Are you okay?" Ezra’s voice was laced with concern.

"Yeah. Yeah. Just give me a second here."

"Take all the time you need." Ezra tightened the arm he’d wrapped around Vin’s waist.

Nathan moved to stand on Vin’s right, offering additional, if unnecessary support. "You could have waited for me." Nathan reproved gently.

Vin rolled his eyes. "I coulda. Didn’t wanna." He really wasn’t in the mood to be mothered. He was never really in the mood for that. All he really wanted was to be alone with Ezra, and the sooner he got settled in Chris’ room the sooner he could have what he wanted. Course the rest of ‘em will be by as some point ta check on me, I’m sure. So jus’ getting rid of Nate won’t really get us alone any faster.

Ezra shared a knowing look with Nathan. "You must excuse, Mr. Tanner’s poor disposition, Mr. Jackson."

"Yeah, I know." Nathan sighed. "He always gets a bit snippy when he’s hurt."

Snippy!! "I don’t get snippy." Vin growled in protest.

"Of course." Ezra replied. He flashed a quick grin at Vin, green eyes bright with inner amusement. "You merely state your feelings in a more forthright manner than usual." Ezra tightened his hold for just a moment, letting Vin know he understood, and was only teasing.

Nathan, on the other hand, seemed unwilling to make eye contact with Vin. Vin realized his earlier determination to not stay in the clinic, and his unwillingness to wait for Nathan might have been construed as an insult by the healer. Aw hell, I didn’t mean ta hurt his feelings. He reached out and patted Nathan’s arm. "Sorry, Nate."

Nathan smiled, dark eyes warm with understanding turned to meet Vin’s blue ones. "No problem. I know you don’t mean ta get short with me. Nobody is ever pleasant ta be around when they’re in pain. Let’s get you settled in."

It didn’t take long to reach Chris’ room. There was little in the room to suggest it was occupied regularly. Chris kept anything of importance to him at his ranch. This room was just somewhere he slept when he needed to. The lack of personal items patently revealed the fact that this room wasn’t home to him.

Vin relaxed on the bed with a sigh of relief, fervently glad he hadn’t had to navigate a flight of stairs. Even though he’d rested a lot of his weight on Ezra, the little bit he’d used his wounded leg had made him tighten his jaw against the pain. He hadn’t wanted to worry Ezra by letting him know how much it hurt. The look Ezra sent him once Vin lay down told him it was a wasted effort. Man’s worried anyway.

Nathan swiftly and carefully removed the earlier bandage. He frowned slightly. The wound was bleeding again. But not badly. It had opened slightly in response to Vin’s use of it getting to Chris’ room. The faint trickle wasn’t cause for alarm. It was more of a nuisance as far as Vin was concerned.

Nathan examined the wound, and then looked up at Vin. "Might as well get your pants off. Be easier that way ta clean this, and bind it."

"Yer gonna clean it again?" Vin didn’t like the sound of that. Somehow he just knew that was going to hurt like hell. Now that they were back in town Nathan would probably cook up something that stung a lot more than whiskey.

"It’s a puncture wound." Nathan pointed out calmly. "Deep wounds like that get infected real easy. Gotta make sure that it’s clean all the way through. You don’t want to have to worry about loosing the leg. Now do you?"

Vin paled slightly at that thought. Ezra laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and squeezed. "Not to worry, Mr. Tanner. That is only a possible outcome." He locked eyes with Nathan. "One that Mr. Jackson has ever intention of preventing."

Nathan nodded firmly. "Now let’s get you undressed, Vin."

"Ya sure we can’t jus’ leave my clothes on?" Vin wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of being undressed with anyone other than Ezra. He liked being naked, skin to skin with Ezra, but that was private. Personal. The idea of being unclothed where anyone else could see just didn’t fit Vin’s definition of a good thing. He fought Nathan over the issue before.

Nathan raised his eyebrows. "It will be easier in the long run."

"The others are gonna stop by, Nate. Ya know they will. I don’t wanna be undressed when they show up. Ain’t decent." Vin tried really hard not to sound like he was whining.

"We could just cut the pant leg off." Nathan offered as an alternative.

"No." Vin didn’t care for that option either. He liked these pants. He’d just gotten them broken in. Can patch the hole, and the blood ought ta come out easy enough. An’ I don’t mind the stain if it don’t.

Ezra raised a hand to halt any other forthcoming arguments. "I have something I believe Mr. Tanner could wear that should satisfy his need for modesty, and your need, Mr. Jackson, for easy accessibility."

"Another compromise?" Vin raised an eyebrow wondering what his lover was going to suggest.

"Indeed." Ezra inclined his head. "I have several pair of summer underwear."

"Long johns?" Nathan looked at him, incredulous. "Hell, Ezra, those wouldn’t be any better than what he’s wearing right now. Would still be in the way."

Ezra sighed. "I did not say long johns, Mr. Jackson." Ezra’s tone was similar to the one Vin heard him use when he patiently corrected one of the children he gave lessons to.

"These are silk underwear. Similar to short pants, if you like. They stop at mid-thigh." Ezra gestured toward his own thigh, showing just where the underwear stopped. "A length I believe will be suitable, will it not?" Ezra raised an eyebrow.

Nathan pursed his lips thinking about it. "Should work."

Vin had seen Ezra’s underwear on him. Loved the way it felt when he stroked Ezra’s ass when he was stripping him out of his clothes. That thin, wonderfully smooth fabric felt so much like Ezra’s skin it was hard to tell with his eyes closed where the underwear stopped and Ezra began. Vin swallowed hard against the thought of wearing something of Ezra’s that was so intimate. He tried to imagine what they would feel like on him, lovingly caress him the same way Ezra’s hands did. Vin tried to block out the images that thought immediately brought to mind.

"Vin? Vin?"

"Hunh?" He looked dazedly at Nathan.

"Would that be okay with you?"

Vin took a deep breath. Would what be okay? Oh… "Sure. That’ll be fine, Nate."

Nathan put a hand to Vin’s forehead. "You’re a bit flushed, but I don’t feel a fever."

Vin batted his hand away. "I’m fine." I have got to not think about Ezra like that. Leastwise not ‘til me and Ez are alone.

There was a soft knock at the door. Chris stepped through a moment later. He looked at Vin. "You doin’ okay, Cowboy?"

"I’m fine."

Nathan shook his head, but didn’t offer an argument to that statement. He loosely rebound Vin’s leg. "Chris, will ya do me a favor and keep an eye on him while I run over ta the clinic and get some stuff?" He looked toward Ezra. "Ya can go get them fancy short o’ yours that way we’ll have everything here when I get back."

Ezra nodded. He patted Vin’s shoulder before he moved away. That simple gesture held a wealth of information for Vin. He reveled in that communication. Ezra was reluctant to leave, but he would be back as fast as he could.

Won’t be near fast enough. Would rather he didn’t leave at all. Jus’ gotta be patient a little while longer.

Chris pulled up a chair and sat down facing Vin. He waited until Ezra and Nathan had left before asking Vin a second time, "You okay?"

Vin rolled his eyes. "Fine. Nathan frets too much."

Chris gave him an understanding look. "Can’t say we haven’t given the man good reason to over the past year."

Vin sighed. "Yeah, I know." Vin shifted slightly, suddenly feeling shy. "Thanks."

"For?"

Vin waved a hand to encompass the room. "This."

Chris smiled. "Least I could do." Chris looked out the window, his eyes distant, seeing something other than what lay just outside. "When Sarah and I first got together, it would was hard ta spend more than a minute away from her. Got easier the longer we were together, but I missed her like crazy whenever I had to leave. Still miss her."

Chris’ eyes flickered back to Vin and away again. "I would never have been able to show the same restraint you and Ezra did today. After spending four days away from Sarah, I’d have swept her up in a hug, and tried to hold her so tight we’d be one person and never part again."

He sighed softly. "I can still remember what it felt like ta sleep with her next to me. Her skin…the sound of her breathing…the way her hair tickled sometimes…her perfume just strong enough for me to get a faint trace of it…the way she would snuggle into me when she was cold."

Chris shook himself slightly. His dark blue eyes refocused on Vin. "I know what its like to hold someone you love close to you at night. What it’s like to reconnect after you’ve been separated." His smile was bittersweet. "No reason you shouldn’t have the chance to have those same memories. Everyone deserves ta have that, and ta hold onto it as long as they can."

Chris’ expression turned rueful. "I owe you an apology. Ezra too. I’m sorry it took me so long to appreciate that there isn’t much difference between what you two have and what I had with Sarah. You just don’t have the same opportunities to express it the way she and I did."

Vin smiled gently. "Long as you got there, Cowboy, it don’t matter that you took some time to find yer way." Vin held out his right hand. He and Chris didn’t shake hands, instead they clasped forearms in a warrior’s grip.

Despite Chris’ doubts about Vin’s relationship with Ezra, Vin never doubted the strength of their friendship. It was still a huge relief to hear Chris finally say he really accepted it completely. The only thing Vin needed right at this moment for his life to be complete was for Ezra to be back at his side. Vin took a breath and tried to marshal his patience. Just a little bit longer. That’s all. Ya can hold out that long, Tanner.

*******

Josiah rode into town, saddle sore and weary. Spending long hours in the saddle was no longer as easy as it once was, but it was a task that needed doing. Someone had to check on the outlying ranches, and make sure the good people who lived there were safe and sound. He considered it part of his responsibility as a peacekeeper, and as a man of God, to undertake the duties assigned to him, and do them to the best of his ability. Josiah philosophically regarded it as penance. This was a task that he offered up to God as a means of making restitution for his past transgressions.

Still, Josiah was relieved to be back in town. He was hoping the others were back. He worried about them being out on their own. He knew that Buck, Chris and Vin were all grown men, but he just felt more comfortable, confident, when all of the seven were in one place. And he would really be glad to get back to his usual routine of working on the church more and riding less. He missed the simple joy of working with his hands.

Josiah headed for the livery. He planned to take care of Prophet first, and then check in with JD at the jail as he’d done every day for the past four. If there was news, JD would be one of the first to know, and he was without a doubt the easiest to track down.

Josiah had made a point of checking up on the young sheriff just to be sure he was all right. He suspected that JD was a bit lonely without Buck in town. They were usually together and it had to be hard on the younger man to not have his best friend around. Those two could be brothers the way they act.

Josiah caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye as he rode past the saloon. That’s odd. Ezra’s not normally awake yet this time o’ day. Wonder if his session with the little ones ran long.

Ezra was another reason Josiah would be glad to have the others back. Josiah hadn’t seen much of the gambler the last few days, and that bothered him. He wasn’t sure if Ezra’s absence was due to the recent work schedule or if the cardsharp was avoiding him. Josiah suspected it might be the latter, but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what he might have done to offend the man. He’d hoped to have a chance to sit down and talk to him once the others got back.

Josiah feared waiting too long to fix whatever was wrong. It had been his experience that things left alone too long were likely to never truly be mended. Maybe I’ll be able to catch Ezra alone tonight, and see if I can find out what it was I did to upset him. Then I’ll know what it is I need to apologize for.

Josiah stepped out of the saddle with a sigh, one hand moving to rub at his lower back trying to ease the dull ache there. He led Prophet inside, and smiled when he saw Lady, Sable and Peso all munching away on hay in their usual stalls. Thank you, Lord. They are home!

Yosemite’s son, Matthew, came forward from where he was cleaning stalls in the back. He smiled up at Josiah. "Hello, Mr. Sanchez."

"Good afternoon, Matt." Josiah handed the reins off the teenager. "When did the others get back?" Josiah tipped his head toward the three horses that’d been absent the past few days.

"Not too long ago, Sir. Less than an hour."

"They have any trouble?" Josiah asked, wanting to know immediately if everyone was okay.

Matt nodded seriously. "Mr. Wilmington come back earlier ta get a wagon jus’ after lunch time. Mr. Standish went ta get Mr. Jackson since he was out at the Cavanaugh place. Said it would be easier ta bring him ta where Mr. Wilmington left Mr. Tanner and Mr. Larabee."

Josiah took a breath. Oh please don’t let anyone be dead, dear Lord. Please. "Who was hurt?"

"Mr. Tanner got shot in the leg. Can’t o’ been too bad though cuz Mr. Jackson didn’t take him ta the clinic."

Josiah breathed a bit easier. If it had been life threatening he was certain Nathan would have ensconced Vin in the clinic. If Vin wasn’t so seriously injured he had to stay in the clinic, then he would have insisted on riding home. "Why did they need the wagon then?

Matt shrugged one shoulder. "Brought back a prisoner with ‘em. Busted his leg is what I heard. Guess he weren’t in any shape ta ride."

Josiah nodded. "No, Son, I don’t imagine he would be." A broken leg isn’t something I’d want to ride with. Probably would be best to find one of the others and get the full story.

He smiled at the boy. "You’ll take good care of Prophet for me then?"

Matt grinned. "Sure thing, Mr. Sanchez."

"Thank you." Josiah headed for the jail. He considered the saloon, but decided against it. Someone would have stayed with the prisoner, and this way I’ll be able to get the story without interruptions or distractions. He never thought of checking the clinic, expecting to find Nathan in the jail treating the wounded prisoner.

Josiah entered the jail, smiling slightly as he heard an ongoing argument between JD and Buck. Kind o’ weird to think all is right with the world when you hear two people arguing, but I guess that’s just the way life goes. He wasn’t sure what they were arguing about this time, but it sounded as if Buck wanted to know the real reason behind something JD had done.

Josiah loudly cleared his throat, to get their attention. "Boys."

"Josiah!" JD greeted him with his usual youthful exuberance, argument with Buck apparently forgotten just that quickly. "When did you get back?"

"Just a little while ago." He nodded toward Buck. "I see you made it back."

"Yeah, just got in a little while ago myself."

"Matt tells me you had some trouble?"

Buck nodded. "Found our rustlers. Seven of ‘em."

Josiah shook his head sadly. Will they never learn? "And you thought it would be better to take them on yourselves rather than wait for the rest of us?"

Buck chuckled. "Nah. Wasn’t s’posed to work out that way." He shrugged, grinning widely. "But ya know how things jus’ don’t seem ta go accordin’ ta plan."

"Heard Vin got shot." Josiah put the slightest reprimand in his voice when he said that. He liked the jovial ladies men a lot, but there was nothing funny or easily dismissed about one of their own being hurt.

Buck nodded, his expression more serious than it had been. "Wasn’t bad, Josiah. Passed right through his thigh. Painful, but it ought to heal jus’ fine. Nate’s taking care o’ him now."

Josiah frowned. "Matt said Vin wasn’t in the clinic."

"Oh he ain’t." JD stated. "He didn’t want ta be there. Can’t says I blame him. Getting up those stairs woulda been tough with a bum leg. Not ta mention the way Nathan nags."

JD shuddered. "And those teas o’ his. You’d think he’d have found a way ta make it so they don’t taste so bad. I mean, it shouldn’t be that hard. Add some sugar or something. Honey, maybe."

"So where is he then?" Josiah interrupted quickly, trying to keep JD focused on the issue at hand. The young sheriff never failed to amaze him with how quickly he could jump from one thought to another.

"Chris’ room at the boarding house."

Josiah nodded. If anyone could keep Vin in line it would be Chris. Probably the only one who could. "Chris is okay, then?"

"Oh yeah, he’s fine." Buck’s casual response reassured Josiah the way nothing else would have.

"And our prisoner?"

Buck jerked a thumb over his shoulder casually pointing to the man in a cell. The man was lying quietly on the cot. "Winged him, and he fell off his horse. Busted his leg in the process. Nate saw ta him ‘fore we brought ‘im back. Though, I reckon, ol’ Nate will be in here when he finishes givin’ Vin a stern talkin’ to about restin’ and stayin’ put."

Buck slapped his forehead. "Aw hell, I forgot ta tell the undertaker we left some bodies lying out there." He grabbed JD’s arm. "C’mon, Kid, ya can come with me, and then we’ll go check on Vin."

"Don’t somebody need ta stay and watch this guy?" JD asked, pointing toward the occupied cell.

"It ain’t like he’s gonna go anywhere, Kid. Man can’t walk, and the cell is locked." Buck pointed out reasonably.

Josiah nodded. "Buck’s right, JD. I think we can safely leave him here, alone, for the time being."

He really wanted to check on Vin as well, and couldn’t honestly see the need for any of them to stay behind. It would be good for all of them to be together again, even if only for a moment. He’d missed having the others around. Josiah felt like this was the first time in days he could finally relax and quit worrying about the missing members of their little group.

"Okay." JD shrugged. "Ain’t like he’ll be here alone for long anyway. I’ll be back jus’ as soon as I know Vin’s doin’ all right."

Together the three of them headed toward the boarding house. They stopped just long enough to let the undertaker know about the six dead rustlers, and where the bodies could be found. Josiah shook his head sadly listening to the tale of lives lost. He was pragmatic enough to feel that if lives had to be lost it was better to be the rustlers and not one of his friends, but he still regretted the need for such violence. They could have chosen other paths. A shame that they didn’t.

Josiah let Buck rap his knuckles loudly against the door to the room Chris usually used. He wasn’t surprised to find Chris opening the door a moment later. The dark clad gunslinger greeted them with a small nod, and motioned them to enter with a wave of his hand. Man never was one to waste words.

Josiah blinked mildly startled to see that it wasn’t just Chris, Vin and Nathan in the room as he had expected. Ezra was also present. He was helping Nathan clean and bind the wound readily visible on Vin’s left thigh.

Could have sworn I just saw Ezra entering the saloon. Course, that was a good twenty minutes ago. Maybe be more. Guess he just got here a head of us.

Josiah wasn’t really surprised that Ezra would be there. They all tended to gravitate toward each other whenever one was wounded. He had just assumed the gambler had either already been there, or had planned to be by later.

Josiah knew that Ezra had worked last night and this morning. Matt said Ezra rode out to the Cavanaugh place to get Nathan, and then met up with Buck, Chris and Vin. Boy has already put in a full day, and he’s got to be as tired as I am, if not more so.

He knew that Ezra had made it a habit, over the last few days, to take a nap when he finished with teaching the children, and before he took the late shift. He was also aware of the fact that those few hours might well be all the more sleep the gambler got. Working double shifts while trying to maintain his normal schedule had undoubtedly left Ezra with fewer free hours in his day.

Josiah frowned thinking it was entirely possible that Ezra hadn’t been to bed yet. He wasn’t at all pleased by that prospect. Despite Ezra’s repeated efforts to convince them he was an uncaring, self-centered bastard, Josiah knew that wasn’t the case. My boy cares a bit more than is good for him. Working double shifts, and he still found time ta teach the children. And instead of resting before his next shift, he’s in here helping take care of Vin.

The large man frowned, not quite sure what to make of the gambler playing nursemaid. It wasn’t a task he’d ever seen the cardsharp do before, and one he’d have expected Chris to be performing, not Ezra. Ezra was surprisingly good at assisting Nathan. Those graceful, agile fingers that manipulated a deck of cards so effortlessly seemed to be equally adapt at handling the task they were currently being applied to. Wonder where he learned to do that? Boy has an amazing array of talents.

"Hey, Vin. You doin’ all right?" Buck was the first to speak.

Vin rolled his eyes before shooting a disgusted look at the ladies man. "I’m the same as the last time ya saw me, Buck. Ain’t nothin’ changed in half an hour."

Buck laughed. "Oh, I don’t know about that." Buck pointed toward the short pants Vin was currently wearing. "Looks like some things have changed."

Josiah noted that the pants were a light, smooth fabric, a pale blue in color. They seemed to fit Vin a bit snuggly, but still gave easy access to the wound on his leg. The easy access, Josiah surmised, was the reason for them, but they were not at all something he would have expected the tracker to own, much less wear.

Oddly, Vin didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed by his attire, or lack there off. That was something a bit unusual for the normally very shy tracker. Vin was notorious for his insistence on remaining fully clothed. Josiah had witnessed a number of rounds between Vin and Nathan over whether or not Vin needed to disrobe to have a wound treated. Vin rarely gave in gracefully.

Wonder how Nate got him to agree to this much. Probably wouldn’t take much razzing to make Vin self-conscious. And that certainly won’t help Nathan to take care of him. Would be best to keep Buck from saying too much more.

Before Josiah could say anything to Buck, Nathan had already sent a stern look toward the grinning ladies man, one that was seconded by Chris. "Buck, shut up. I had enough trouble with him today already pitching a fit about going to the clinic."

The black man shook a finger at Buck as a further reprimand. "Ain’t no call for you to make it worse."

JD lightly slapped Buck on the arm, adding his two cents. "Yeah." The sheriff neatly dodged Buck’s attempt to knock off his hat. "And quit doin’ that, too."

Buck just laughed lightly. "Now, JD, that’s the first time in days I made fun o’ your sissy hat."

"It is the first time in days you’ve been present to do so, Mr. Wilmington." Ezra pointed out with a sly smile, not looking up from where he was helping Nathan finish securing the bandage to Vin’s leg. "I have my doubts about self-restraint being something you can lay a genuine claim to in this particular situation."

Buck sent a wry look in Ezra’s direction, the good humor in his eyes undiminished. "All right. All right. I can take a hint."

Ezra glanced up at him with one eyebrow raised, a ghost of a smile played about his lips. "I haven’t observed subtly worked well with you in the past…unless of course it was applied with a sledge hammer."

It was rare that any one ever got the better of Ezra when it came to words, so the best Buck could respond with was a universal hand gesture. It was meant to be an insult, but Ezra just raised one finger to his mouth, wet it, and made a motion like he was marking a score on an invisible tally sheet. "I believe you proved my point nicely, Mr. Wilmington."

Josiah hid his grin at that, and he noticed the slightest dip of Vin’s head as he did the same. He’d missed this sort of by play over the past few days. It is good to have the family all together again.

Nathan pulled the blankets up and smoothed them over Vin’s legs. He gave Vin a stern look. "You stay in this bed. Ya hear?"
Vin shot a rebellious look at Nathan. "How long I gotta stay?"

Chris spoke up before Nathan had the chance. "Until he tells you otherwise." Chris was clearly not in a mood to be argued with, but Josiah noted with a silent sigh that Vin seldom paid any attention to that.

"Ya got ta be kiddin’."

"Don’t think he is, Vin." JD offered quietly, his tone clearly commiserating with Vin’s predicament. Josiah thought of all of them, JD’s youthful exuberance probably lent him the best chance of understanding Vin’s reluctance to stay put. They all knew how Vin felt about being shut up indoors. The tracker chaffed under confinement of any kind.

Josiah was surprised when Ezra moved to open the window about half way. Nathan shot a quizzical look at him. The gambler leaned against the wall, and then shrugged one shoulder. "A little air movement lends the illusion that one isn’t quite so confined."

"And a little fresh air never hurt anyone." Ezra grin flashed briefly as he looked toward Vin, "or so I’ve been told."

Vin grinned back. "Thanks, Ez. Like it better with the window open."

Josiah nodded, pleased that Ezra had thought to find a way to make Vin more comfortable. "Good thinking, Son."

Ezra flinched at his use of ‘son’, just barely, but it was enough Josiah saw it. "Mr. Sanchez, for the last time, we are not related. Please desist in attaching such an unwelcome moniker to my person."

Josiah frowned when he noticed there was just a bit more ice and steel in Ezra’s voice than there had ever been before. The look on Chris’ and Buck’s faces told Josiah he wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. The two old friends traded a look, but didn’t speak. JD and Nathan both seemed oblivious to the undercurrent of tension in the room. Or maybe they are just trying to look as though they are.

Vin glanced toward Ezra. There was just a trace of concern evident in his face that told Josiah, Vin hadn’t missed Ezra’s reaction either. Something passed between the gambler and the tracker in that brief glance. Something Josiah didn’t quite catch or fully understand. But when Vin looked at Josiah, the preacher was somewhat surprised to see the warning look being sent his way. He didn’t know why, but Vin was most definitely telling him to watch his step.

Josiah knew Ezra didn’t care to be called son, but he honestly didn’t think about it. It was a simple gesture of affection to him, and he had been sure that eventually Ezra would come to understand that. Might be a good idea for us to talk, and soon. Like tonight, so I can find out what is bothering him, and I can apologize. I’ve missed him as much as I’ve missed the others. Don’t like us being at odds. ‘Specially when I don’t even know why we are.

Nathan held out a cup of tea to Vin. The tracker eyed it suspiciously. "This the usual stuff?"

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Yes."

Vin made a face. "Can’t I just skip it?"

"It’s this, or laudanum. Choice is yours." Nathan’s tone made it clear those were Vin’s only choices.

Vin sighed and reluctantly took the cup. When he would have handed it back after taking just a sip, Nathan shook his head. "Drink all of it."

Vin sighed again, but drank it all. He shuddered, and handed the empty cup back. "That stuff tastes awful, Nate."

JD piped up from where he had moved to rest against the foot of the bed. "There’s gotta be a way ta make that stuff taste better, Nate. I mean it doesn’t have ta taste that bad. Some sugar or something wouldn’t hurt."

"It’s medicine." Nathan answered, his voice very matter-of-fact. "It’s not supposed to taste good."

JD snorted. "Still think you could—"

Buck shoved JD playfully from behind. "He ain’t gonna take your advice, Kid."

JD shoved him back. "I’m just saying—"

Chris cleared his throat, effectively cutting JD off before their argument could get too loud or involved. "I think it might be best for you boys ta let Vin get some rest. You can finish that discussion in the saloon over a drink."

Josiah smiled slightly thinking the first suggestion was something more in line with what Nathan usually said. The second though, was definitely all Chris. Josiah caught sight of Chris slyly winking at Vin.

Chris always looks out for Vin. He knows our brother can only handle all of us in one room for so long. Truth is, he’s not the only one. None of them bore up well under the constant attention of their well-meaning friends.

Nathan shook his head as he gathered up his things. "Need ta check on our prisoner first. Gotta make sure his leg stayed set on the ride home."

"I’ll go with ya, Nate." JD grinned as he made that offer. "My shift anyway."

Buck frowned slightly as he looked toward Ezra. "Yeah, and you’ll be there all night."

Josiah didn’t understand the last bit. No, JD is just scheduled until midnight. Ezra will relieve him then. Or at least that WAS the plan. Obviously something has changed since this morning.

The gambler hadn’t moved from where he still leaned against the wall near the window. He raised an eyebrow at Buck’s look, but didn’t comment. JD rolled his eyes, and slapped Buck’s arm. "Lay off. I’m a big boy, Buck. Ain’t like I can’t handle working two shifts back to back."

JD waved a hand toward Ezra. "Ez has been doin’ it all this week so far. One night ain’t that bad."

Buck sent a quizzical look toward the cardsharp, clearly asking if that were true. Ezra smiled slightly and shrugged. "Someone had to Mr. Wilmington. We were short handed with the three of you absent."

Buck scowled, and sent a hard look toward Chris. "All week? You didn’t think ta plan a better schedule than that?"

"Well, it was kind of short notice, Buck." Chris answered mildly, his tone very dry.

Buck snorted, clearly disappointed in his old friend’s answer. He smiled slightly when he looked back toward Ezra. His whole posture had shifted from faintly aggressive to apologetic. "Sorry, Ez."

"For what, Mr. Wilmington?" There was no mistaking the honest surprise in Ezra’s voice.

"Thought ya conned the kid inta takin’ yer shift."

Buck’s protective nature where JD was concerned seemed to be as habitual for him as breathing. Josiah now better understood the half heard argument he’d walked in on in the jail earlier. Buck would naturally be upset on JD’s behalf if he thought someone had taken advantage of his protégé’s good nature.

Josiah felt a stirring of anger that Buck had thought so little of Ezra as to jump to the conclusion that he’d take advantage of JD. That just isn’t right. Ezra would never do that, and Buck should know better than that by now. But to be fair, he did call Chris on how he’d set up our schedule. Buck has just as stong a sense o’ fair play as JD. Might be where JD learned that.

Josiah noted that Vin’s blue eyes could have doubled for chips of ice as they raked the ladies man from head to toe. If looks could kill, Buck would be nothing but ashes. Guess I’m not the only one angry with him for what he thought. And it don’t look like Vin is going to let him off that easy over it.

Ezra’s didn’t seem the least bit surprised or offended by what Buck thought, only by his apology for thinking it. His green eyes were lit with an inner amusement. He smirked at JD.

"I believe it was I who was conned in this instance." Ezra clucked his tongue and pointed an accusing finger at JD. "Altruism, Mr. Dunne?"

JD blushed slightly. "Yeah, well…C’mon, Nate we got a prisoner ta see to."

Ezra chuckled softly at JD eagerness to depart. He moved to take the seat next to the bed that Nathan had just vacated. Josiah noticed that the gambler seemed to be preparing to settle in. Odd. Know he and Vin are friends. Pretty good friends, but I would have thought he be eager to sit in on a poker game since he’s got the night off. Would have expected him to be ready to leave by now.

JD stopped in the doorway when Nathan did. The healer looked back at Vin. "I’ll be back in a few hours ta check on ya."
Vin nodded. "Bring me somethin’ ta eat when ya do?"

Nathan hesitated a moment, looking a bit concerned. "You hungry now?"

Vin shook his head. "No. Will be by then, I reckon."

"Okay." Nathan and JD left, closing the door quietly behind them. The room suddenly seemed a bit larger with two less people in it. Definitely quieter anyway.

Josiah noticed that Ezra had slumped in the chair. Ezra didn’t normally slouch. He realized his earlier assessment was in error. Ezra hadn’t settled in as much as he’d simply seemed to run out of the energy to stand. His earlier movements seemed to lack Ezra’s usual grace and coordination.

Boy looks about done in. Knew he was pushing himself hard, but I didn’t realize he pushed that hard. Have to remember to thank JD for taking Ezra’s shift. Was a nice thing he did.

Ezra had closed his eyes, and by all rights, if left alone, he looked as if he might just fall asleep where he was. Josiah shook his head thinking Ezra might already be dozing. Boy has about as much color as a sheet. He needs a good nights sleep. He won’t get that by sleeping in a chair.

Vin shot a concerned glance toward Ezra, evidently not liking what he saw any more than Josiah did. Vin and Chris shared a look. Josiah had long since given up trying to figure out what sort of communication passed between those two. They would tell him if it was something he needed to know.

Well, if Ezra is going to sleep in his own bed, better get him up and moving. Too much longer, and it will take an act of God to get the boy out of that chair. Chris or Buck will likely hang around ta keep Vin company. They’ll probably want that chair.

Josiah stepped forward, intent on getting Ezra up and to his own room. He leaned down, and gently placed a hand on Ezra’s shoulder. "Son, I think you should come with—"

Josiah never got a chance to finish. He jerked back, startled when Ezra launched himself out of the chair, tipping it over to crash loudly against the floor. The gambler had triggered the derringer mechanism and was pointing the little gun at Josiah, even as he stepped back. Ezra put his back against the wall, green eyes darted wildly around the room in a panic, but the small gun never wavered in its focus on Josiah.

It wasn’t uncommon for Ezra to react to being startled by making his derringer suddenly appear. But this was different. Josiah raised his hands palm out, not entirely sure what to make of the situation. Ezra was more than startled. He looked almost feral.

Josiah took a step forward. "Son, I—"

"Stay away from me." Ezra ordered, his words forceful, green eyes icy. Josiah got the impression that Ezra wasn’t seeing him. He wasn’t sure who the gambler was seeing though. Whoever it was, Ezra definitely didn’t feel kindly towards him.

"Not this time." Ezra’s voice was soft, but it’s lack of volume did nothing to disguise the conviction in his tone. No flowery words, no complicated sentences. That worried Josiah.

"This time it is my choice. I decide. Never again. Never. You hear me?"

"I hear you, Ezra." Josiah kept his voice calm not wanting to further upset the agitated man. From the corner of his eye, Josiah could see Chris and Buck shifting to cover both him and Ezra. He was somewhat reassured to note that neither man had drawn his gun yet. He didn’t want this to end in bloodshed, and he knew, absolutely knew, it would if the others drew their weapons.

"I decide. My life is my own now." Ezra stated again, his voice shaky. Josiah could see faint tremors running through him. Despite the shakes, Ezra managed to hold his gun steady. "My choice, and I don’t choose you. Don’t belong to you anymore."

Josiah didn’t know what to make of those statements. He kept his hands up, palms out, trying not to do anything that might be perceived as a threat. He waited, hoping the others had some idea of what to do because he didn’t.

Maybe I startled him more than I thought. Known people to do stuff like this coming out of nightmares. Done it myself once or twice, waking up not knowing where I was or what was real. Not quite the same, but close.

Vin moved closer to the edge of the bed. The tracker looked very worried. Of all of them, he was the closest to Ezra, but he didn’t make a move to reach out and touch the man. It had been a mistake to touch him earlier, Josiah realized. Somehow touching Ezra had been construed as a threat. Josiah was grateful Vin had better sense than he had.

"Careful, Vin." Chris whispered a warning. The gunslinger must have realized the same thing Josiah had. Touching Ezra was not a good idea, and there was no way to predict how he would react in his current state.

The tracker nodded, letting Chris now he’d heard his warning. "Don’t think he’ll hurt me, Cowboy."

Chris looked skeptical of that, but he stayed where he was, ready to intervene if it proved necessary. Buck kept quiet, but warily watched both Ezra, and Chris. Josiah realized that the ladies man might have the best understanding of all of them of what was going on. Man’s probably faced off with Chris in situations similar to this one. Chris has had his share of waking nightmares, and I’m sure Buck’s been there for more than one.

Vin called out softly, like he was trying to calm a skittish horse. "It’s okay, Ez. Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong." His voice was soft, barely loud enough to be heard.

"Ez?" Vin called out again when the gambler didn’t respond. The tracker had sat upright and was on the edge of the bed. Vin held out his hand, offering it to the gambler, close enough to touch, but careful not to.

"It’s okay, Ez. Honest." Vin’s voice was almost a croon. "It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to." Vin smiled gently. "Give ya my word. It’s okay."

Green eyes met blue. Josiah would swear he could almost see a physical connection between them. The set of Ezra’s shoulders relaxed slightly, and he lowered the gun.

Ezra blinked. "Vin?" His voice was so hesitant and shaky. It was so unlike Ezra’s normally self-assured, smooth tenor, that if Josiah hadn’t known it was Ezra, he’d have never guessed from the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, Ez. I’m here." Vin waited a beat. "You with me now?"

Ezra took a deep breath, and then another. He nodded slowly and seemed to settle into himself. Ezra was still pale, and a little shaky, but definitely back in the present. Where ever he had been, and who ever he’d been seeing in Josiah’s place, the gambler seemed to be back with them now.

Josiah stepped forward. Ezra’s attention snapped back to him, green eyes blazing with a rekindled fury. Josiah didn’t understand. He thought the crisis was over, but that little gun once again pointed at him. For all the wild emotion in his eyes, when Ezra spoke his voice was precise, so controlled it was almost clipped instead of his usual drawl.

"No. You. Will. Not. Touch. Me. No more ‘son’. " The last was a hiss of outrage and anger. "I will not tell you again. Understand?"

When Josiah didn’t respond immediately, Ezra’s finger tightened on the trigger. "Tell me you understand." There was no mistaking the command in Ezra’s quietly icy tone, or his deadly intent.

For a moment, Josiah was stunned by the realization Ezra might very well shoot him. The amiable conman he thought he knew, and harbored paternal feelings toward, would never have pulled a gun on him with the intention of using it. He felt like he was staring at a stranger. Chris had tensed, and looked ready to go for his gun. Buck stopped him with a hand on his arm, and a small shake of his head. Bless you, brother. One more gun we don’t need.

Josiah nodded slowly, deciding that it would be best to give Ezra what he asked for. "I understand, Ezra."

"Tell me." Ezra ordered him again.

The big man frowned not sure what he was supposed to say. Ezra’s eyes narrowed. "Tell me what it is you understand." Ezra’s voice was soft, but the threat was still there. "I don’t want you to simply humor me, Mr. Sanchez. That would negate the whole point of this little exercise. The point being, I never want to have this conversation ever again. This will be the last time, I assure you, one way or another, this will be the very last time. So tell me, what is it you understand."

Josiah winced. Guess he isn’t going to get used to me calling him son like I thought he would. "I’m not to call you son. I am not to touch you."

Josiah found that very difficult to say. He never thought Ezra was his son. He had never suffered from that particular self-delusion. But in a lot of ways the gambler was the closest to having a son that Josiah was likely to come. He felt as though he was verbally cutting the tentative tie between them. And however faint it had been, what he just did something irrevocable. Josiah didn’t like it, but he had no choice, not if he wanted to live.

Ezra nodded, apparently satisfied, and sighed. He flexed his left hand, and for the first time Josiah realized Ezra had clenched that hand into a fist so tightly the knuckles bleached white. Very slowly, Ezra lowered his gun. He warily watched Buck and Chris, as he carefully offered the derringer to Vin. Neither man had moved, but it was painfully obvious that Chris wanted to. It was only Buck’s restraining hand on Chris’ arm that kept him in place.

The tracker carefully curled the fingers of his right hand around Ezra’s wrist. Vin took the little gun with his left hand, and laid it on the bedside table, never letting go of the wrist he held. Josiah was surprised that Ezra allowed Vin to not just touch him, but to also maintain his hold. Ezra took a hesitant step close to the bed.

Ezra closed his eyes. "I’m sorry." The apology was directed toward Vin. Josiah frowned. He couldn’t understand why Ezra was apologizing to the Texan. Was me he pointed a gun at.

"It’s okay." Vin smiled gently. "Honest. No harm done."

Ezra shook his head. "About that I am not so certain." Ezra’s expression turned remorseful. His eyes were incredibly sad, shoulders slumped with both defeat and exhaustion, as he turned to look at Josiah again.

"It should not have come to this. All you had to do was honor my request. A simple thing really." Ezra studied Josiah for a moment. Josiah felt like those green eyes were measuring him, and he’d been found wanting.

"You take so much on faith, Mr. Sanchez. But from me you must have reasons and elucidation. Is it because I didn’t offer excuses or explanations that you found it so easy to ignore my stated preferences? Is that why you continued to overlook my abhorrence to being addressed as ‘son’? Or was it because you think so little of me, disregard me so quickly as unimportant, as to not care what I want?"

Josiah swallowed hard. It had never occurred to him that Ezra might see things this way. He never thought of Ezra as unimportant, ever. Ezra’s well being was more important to him than his own.

I just thought he was being stubborn, or pernickety. Didn’t think it hurt him, and he never said why….aw hell, I do act as though he should explain himself. I owe him an apology. Josiah hung his head, contrite. "I’m sorry, Ezra, I didn’t mean—"

"I know you didn’t mean." Ezra arched an eyebrow, and smiled sadly. "No one ever does. Do they?" The last came out sounding not so much cynical, as resigned. Josiah recognized the question as being rhetorical, and wondered about the history it suggested.

Ezra sighed tiredly. He glanced toward Buck and Chris. Ezra squared his shoulders, and straightened his spine. Ezra’s expression once again neutral, the poker face all of them knew far too well. His whole stance reminded Josiah of a soldier coming to attention. The little tremors running up and down his frame were mute testimony to just how difficult doing that was for Ezra. Boy has just about run out of rope.

Josiah expected him to shake off Vin’s hold, but he didn’t. Pitches a fit when I touch him, but doesn’t object to Vin. Josiah clamped down on the feeling of envy that reared up inside him. Thinking it over, he realized to his shame, that Vin had waited for Ezra to come to him, not thoughtlessly invaded the man’s personal space the way Josiah had done. Vin had let Ezra make the choice, something Josiah had consistently failed to do.

The preacher sighed silently. What I can’t figure out why Vin hasn’t let go. Ezra’s calm now. Don’t think we need to worry about him hurting anyone at the moment.

Ezra’s tongue nervously darted out to lick his lower lip, and he cleared his throat. He tipped his head slightly toward Buck and Chris. "My apologies, gentlemen. I fear I have disgraced myself, and caused you undo anxiety. I have no excuse to offer for my momentary lapse of reason."

Buck snorted. "Don’t need an excuse, Ez. Jus’ need ta know that you’re okay." The concern was easy to read in the ladies man’s voice and his face.

Ezra shot him a vaguely startled look. That was obviously not the reaction he was expecting. "I’m fine, Mr. Wilmington."

"You sure ‘bout that?" Chris asked quietly. "Cause, I gotta tell ya Ezra, ya don’t look okay."

Josiah had to agree with Chris’ assessment. Ezra swallowed, and chuckled dryly. "Touché, Mr. Larabee."

Vin tugged gently on the wrist his hand still encircled. The tracker still looked concerned. "You need ta sit down, Ez." It was not a suggestion.

Ezra reached for the chair, but Vin shook his head. He slid over on the bed, tugging Ezra with him. That made Josiah raise his eyebrows, but he held his tongue. Lost the right to question anything when I started this whole mess.

Ezra sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. The tremors seemed to be lessening. His color was gradually improving, but he still looked wrung out.

Chris stepped forward, and righted the chair. He sat down, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Something about his posture and expression greatly lessened the dark aura of violence, and intimidation, that Chris seemed to wear like a cloak about him. He seemed approachable, something that Josiah had never associated with Chris before.

Chris made eye contact with Ezra, and held it. "After you get a chance to get some rest, I’m gonna want to know what all this was about." Chris didn’t sound harsh or demanding. There was a wealth of empathy in his voice. It was obvious that Chris could relate to what had just happened, even if he didn’t know why it had happened.

Ezra’s lips curled into a wan smile, and he raised a hand to massage his temple. "Do I have a choice in the matter?"

Chris smiled gently. "Not really."

Ezra sighed tiredly. "I did not think so." He took a breath. "The whole story?"

Chris hesitated a moment, sending a quick glance toward Vin. Ezra tensed. Vin tightened his hold on Ezra’s wrist, and just barely shook his head at Chris. Ezra opened his mouth, but Chris interrupted him before he could say anything. "At the very least, I need to know enough to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I’ll leave it up to you just how much that has to be."

Ezra relaxed slightly. Chris patted his leg. "And I don’t need to know right now, Ezra. Like I said before, after you get some rest. I can wait."

Ezra nodded, looking faintly relieved, like a man granted a stay of execution. "As you wish, Mr. Larabee."

Josiah was surprised that Chris was willing to give Ezra the time he so obviously needed. Sort of expected him to just demand an answer. Man isn’t exactly known for his patience. I would kind of like to an answer myself. Sooner the better.

Josiah realized that he might have misinterpreted Buck’s restraining Chris earlier. Given his current behavior, it was possible that the gunslinger had not been planning to react to this crisis with violence. Since the only person Ezra had responded to was Vin, Buck might have understood that Chris’ interference would do more harm than good, and acted to keep him from making the situation worse despite good intentions.

Chris looked at Vin again. Their eyes locked for a moment. "You gonna look after him?"

Josiah blinked at that. Vin look after Ezra? Hell, Vin needs looking after too.

Vin smirked slightly. He wore an expression similar to the one Buck routinely gave JD when he thought JD had asked a stupid question. "You can count on it, Cowboy."

Chris nodded. He stood up, and traded a look with Buck. Buck shrugged one shoulder, and tipped his head. Josiah wasn’t sure just what it was Buck was answering to, but it was obvious that the rangy cowboy had agreed to something. He was letting Chris call the shots.

Chris motioned toward the door with his hand, more or less shooing them out of the room. Josiah frowned. "Chris?"

"Yeah?"

"Thought you wanted Ezra to get some rest?" Josiah was confused. Chris seems to plan on leaving Ezra here with Vin. I realize that Vin was the one to connect with Ezra just a few minutes ago, but he got shot today. Don’t really think he’s up to taking care of someone else.

Chris just raised an eyebrow in response to Josiah’s question. Josiah sighed. "Well…shouldn’t he be doing that in his own room? In his own bed?"

Chris pinned him with a hard look. "He’ll rest better here." The tone made it clear that more questions would not be welcome.

Josiah ignored it. "What about Vin?"

"What about him?"

Josiah opened his mouth, and then closed it again, not sure what to say. Buck patted him on the arm, and pointed toward the door. "Think it would be best, Josiah, ta just leave it alone. Have a little faith."

Josiah managed not to wince when Buck said the last bit, reminded of Ezra’s earlier accusation. He realized he really didn’t have a choice, and reluctantly headed for the door. Buck followed him. Chris came last. The gunslinger quietly closed the door, and Josiah could hear the lock click as it slid into place.

Buck turned to look at Chris. "Buy me a drink?"

Chris half-smiled. "Sure." He patted Josiah on the arm. "I’ll even buy you one."

"I’d rather have an explanation."

Chris pursed his lips, his hand curling around Josiah’s bicep. That grip was gentle but firm, and encouraged him to move down the hall. "Well, that is just gonna have to wait. Might as well come have a drink in the mean time."

Josiah hadn’t lived this long without being able to recognize a lost cause. He nodded, resigned to the fact that he would simply have to be patient. He offered up a quick prayer to God that he would be ready when the time came.

*******

Vin waited for the door to close, and lock to click in place, before wrapping his arms around Ezra in a warm hug. He was relieved that the two of them were finally alone.

He felt Ezra snuggle in close, tucking his head under Vin’s chin. The last few minutes had scared Vin more than he wanted to admit. He’d been terrified that Ezra might actually use his little pop gun. Although, his fear centered more around the fact that Chris might retaliate by shooting Ezra, than that Ezra might kill Josiah.

"You okay?" Vin asked. Know he’s already answered that question, but I still want to make sure.

Ezra sighed, and rubbed his face against Vin’s shoulder. "I’m fine."

Vin pulled away, and cupped Ezra’s face with both hands. His eyes searched Ezra’s. He didn’t like the shadows he could still see those beloved green eyes. Whatever it was that had upset Ezra, had also frightened him badly. His earlier actions were as much a function of fear as anger.

Vin leaned in, and placed a sweet kiss on Ezra’s lips. He didn’t really want to start anything. He was fairly certain that right at the moment neither of them were up for anything more intense. But he wanted to reconnect. It had been four days since they’d been together, and this was the first time he’d gotten to really touch Ezra. Vin didn’t count the brief hand clasp they’d shared when Ezra and Nate had arrived at the canyon, or the ride back to Four Corners.

"Missed you." He murmured against Ezra’s mouth.

"And I you."

Vin sighed. "Couldn’t sleep worth a damn without you."

Ezra smiled tenderly, and ran fingers through Vin’s hair. "I, too, had some difficulty succumbing to Morpheus’ grasp."

Vin didn’t exactly understand that, but figured Ezra had just said he had as much trouble sleeping as Vin had. If he was having bad dreams, it would explain why he reacted so badly when Josiah touched him. In the short time they’d been together, Vin knew the only time Ezra had trouble sleeping was when he had nightmares.

Vin had learned to approach Ezra carefully when he woke him from a bad dream. He wasn’t worried that Ezra would hurt him. Even in the throws of a truly violent dream, Ezra had never lashed out at Vin. Not once. But he did have a tendency to shy away, or scramble for a place he felt secure. Secure to Ezra seemed to involve having his back to the wall, or some place small, like under the bed. Vin had learned to be careful because he didn’t want Ezra to hurt himself. He wanted to be part of what made Ezra feel safe, secure, not part of what made him want to hide.

"Nightmares?" Vin asked quietly.

Ezra closed his eyes, and sighed. He nodded. "Every time I closed my eyes."

"Bad?"

"Very."

Damn. Wish I’d been here to help with those. "They the reason for what happened here?"

Ezra winced. He opened his eyes, made eye contact with Vin, and held it. "To some extent, yes, and no. It is complicated."

Vin nodded, accepting that. He hadn’t expected it to be simple. "Okay."

Ezra swallowed hard. Vin frowned when he saw the return of faint tremors in Ezra’s hands. Ezra shuddered. "I owe you an explanation. My behavior was—"

Vin placed a finger against Ezra’s lips, effectively cutting of the flow of words. "Shhh….Easy now. You don’t owe me anything. All that can wait a bit. Like Chris said, once ya get some rest then we can talk about it. I’m not in any hurry, Ez."

Ezra pulled his hand away, his expression a mixture of regret and sadness. "I’m so sorry, Vin."

"You didn’t do anything you need to apologize for." Josiah’s the one who should be apologizing. Man should have kept his hands ta himself. And he shouldn’t have kept callin’ you ‘son’ knowing full well ya don’t like it. Man ought ta have had more respect for you than that. Knew I shoulda found a way ta put a stop ta that before now.

Ezra shook his head. He waved a hand in an elegant, but meaningless gesture that seemed to encompass the room. "This whole…situation, is my fault. Surely, you realize that Buck, and Josiah, are going to ask about more than just my momentary lapse of reason."

Ezra sighed heavily. "I know Buck is aware there is something between us. I could read that on his face, Vin. He does not yet know the true nature of our relationship, but…I suspect that he will ask before long. And Josiah is going to want to know why Chris left me here with you. And why you agreed. It is just part of his nature to question such things."

Vin raised a hand to Ezra’s face again. He moved his fingers to let the tips ghost over Ezra’s forehead, and then down around his cheekbones in a feather light, soothing caress. He placed a soft kiss on Ezra’s forehead. "Doesn’t matter, Ez. We knew they were bound to ask at some point sooner or later."

Ezra grimaced. "Yes, well, it I would have preferred later to sooner in this instance."

Yeah, me too. But that can’t be helped. "There’s no point in borrowin’ trouble. We’ll worry about what ta say when they ask."

Ezra leaned in and kissed Vin. When he pulled a way there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "That simple?"

Vin shrugged, pleased to see Ezra seemed to be recovering. "Worked the last time. No reason ta think it won’t work twice."

"True."

Vin nodded. "’Sides, it’s not like we’re alone this time."

Ezra smiled slowly, faint creases appearing at the corner of his eyes. "Ah yes, Mr. Larabee. An unexpected ally."

"Yeah." Vin smiled back. "Seems Chris has finally seen the light."

"I’d wager you had something to do with that." Ezra raised an eyebrow in query.

Vin shifted slightly. "Don’t know if I can take credit for that or not. Don’t matter. " Vin thought for a second, searching for a word Ezra had used. Got it. "I’m just glad he’s finally accepted us as a being together…unconditionally."

Ezra smiled warmly. "As am I." The gambler opened his mouth to say something more but yawned widely instead, belatedly raising a hand to cover his mouth.

"That’s enough o’ this." Vin decided. "Rest o’ it can wait till both of us are feeling like we can take on the world again. We’re s’posed to be resting, remember?"

Ezra rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Vin was glad his lover was willing to let it go for now. We both need a chance to breath a bit. Center ourselves. Can deal with all this crap later when we can both think straight.

"Take off yer boots, Ez, and get comfortable." Vin said, his tone light, making sure Ezra knew he wasn’t dictating to him, but inviting.

Ezra slid off his boots and took off his jacket as well, uncharacteristically throwing it toward the chair rather than hanging it up. Vin tapped the shoulder harness Ezra was wearing. "That too."

It was uncomfortable to sleep snuggled up to Ezra when he was still fully armed. There wasn’t much give to leather and steel, and Vin intended for both of them to be comfortable. Ezra slipped out of the harness and hung it from the bedpost where it would be within easy reach. He also removed the derringer rigging and laid it on the table next to where Vin had placed the little gun earlier.

Ezra reached down and plucked Vin’s sawed off Winchester from where it rested on the floor near the head board, and offered it to Vin. The tracker took it with a smile, and placed it on the floor near his side of the bed where he could grab if it were needed in a hurry. Both men liked to keep their weapons near by. It wasn’t safe not to.

Vin lifted the blankets in a silent invitation. Ezra smiled and moved to slide under. Vin settled himself on his back, and Ezra snuggled in close, careful of Vin’s wounded leg. Ezra laid his head on Vin’s shoulder with a quiet sigh, wrapping an arm around Vin’s waist.

"Missed this." He murmured just loud enough for Vin to hear.

Vin smiled. He pulled Ezra in a little closer, enjoying the feel of having his lover next to him for the first time in days. "Me too, Ez. Me too."

He relaxed, listening to Ezra’s breathing slow and deepen. He tightened his grip on Ezra. Right now all that mattered to Vin was the fact that Ezra was right next to him, safe and sound. There would be time enough to work through everything else later.

*******

Buck slid down in his chair, getting comfortable. He eyed Josiah, as he sipped the drink Chris had put in front of him. The big man seemed a bit too quiet, a bit too introspective. Almost like it better when he’s mouthin’ off parables nobody understands. Got enough quiet friends with Chris and Vin. Two o’ them barely talk.

Buck knew that Ezra’s reaction to the ex-preacher had hurt the man deeply. To Josiah, the worst sin a man could commit was to unintentionally cause someone he cared for harm. Buck lightly patted Josiah’s shoulder and squeezed, trying to offer physical reassurance. Buck was pretty sure words wouldn’t be enough to fix this. He decided that it would be a good idea to make sure the big man didn’t have too much to drink. Alcohol tended to have a disastrous affect on everyone around Josiah, particularly when the man lost control.

He looked toward Chris, and tipped his head toward Josiah. Chris shrugged one shoulder. Buck frowned. He’d been hoping for some help, but evidently Chris was just as lost as he was. This was new territory for both of them.

Josiah’s paternal attitude toward the gambler was something they all knew about. Funny thing, only one of us not to accept it was Ezra. Can’t really say I’m surprised that he finally pitched a fit. Was bound ta happen sooner or later if things kept going the way they have.

The ladies man felt a flash of guilt for not stepping in sooner, and keeping what had just happened from happening at all. It could have all been avoided. They all knew Ezra didn’t like being touched or called son. The man had stated his dislike on both issues often enough. But not one of them had stepped in to put a stop to it, or moved to defend Ezra.

No…that ain’t true. Vin’s been runnin’ interference lately. He makes it hard for Josiah ta touch Ez by takin’ the chair next to him whenever he can. Or by simply puttin’ him between ‘em so Josiah can’t get too close to Ez.

Buck shifted in his seat, uncomfortable with the thought that as Ezra’s friend, he let him down. He was ashamed to admit that he sometimes enjoyed seeing him squirm. The man always seemed so unruffled, so utterly self-contained that Buck wanted him to be knocked off his stride now and again just to remind him that he was not alone. He wanted the gambler to realize he was one of them, and to Buck that meant you got teased and picked on. To him that was just a sure sign you belonged.

Over the past year, he and Ezra had occasionally engaged in some good-natured rough housing. There were little episodes of pushing, occasional shoving, and more than a few bouts of verbal sparing. Buck had been surprised when he realized that Ezra seemed to enjoy it. He had assumed Ezra was finally beginning to accept his place among them, and Buck delighted in giving as good as he got.

Buck played with his glass a moment, reflecting on the past year. He realized that it was only with him and Vin that Ezra engaged in such behavior. The cardsharp treated JD with odd mixture of tolerance and respect that seemed to preclude such juvenile behavior with him. And Ezra never let his guard down enough with Chris, Nathan or Josiah.

Course, I can’t see him playin’ with Chris. Chris and Ez have a more mutual pact of aggravation going on than anything else. They seem ta enjoy annoyin’ each other. Buck would freely admit that he liked watching the two of them get each other wound up. It was good to see a fire in Chris again, one that didn’t so much consume him, as serve as proof he was still among the living. Ezra seemed to delight in testing the boundaries, and seeing how far he could push. It was obvious to Buck that the gambler was a man who liked to play with fire as often as possible. Chris and Ezra were good for each other in a lot of ways. Might be Chris is beginnin’ ta understand that.

Buck sighed softly. Nate and Ez get along ‘bout as well as oil and water. Guess it’s only natural that they wouldn’t really relax ‘round each other much. Buck often wondered if the two of them would ever be able to really loosen up around each other. They seemed to be doing better lately.

Josiah…’fore today, I wouldn’t have a clue as ta why Ezra gets stiff ‘round him. Didn’t realize how Ez saw it. Understand a whole lot better now. Iffen I had someone constantly ignoring my requests, and doin’ stuff I didn’t like…well, I don’t think I’d a waited half as long as Ez did ta blow up at him. Buck shook his head, knowing full well, he would have shot Josiah if he’d been in Ezra’s shoes. Still, it wouldn’t be a good idea to say as much.

"Well, sir, I would have to say it has been one hell of a day." Buck offered that statement in hopes of easing the tension he could feel settling in around the table. He hadn’t really expected a response but he’d hoped for one. Guess I’ll just have ta push harder.

"Josiah?" When he didn’t get an answer, Buck shoved him. "Josiah?"

"Yes, brother?" Josiah sounded totally subdued.

Like a kicked puppy. Buck shook his head. "Look…you gotta not take this personally. Ez was tired."

I bet if he hadn’t been tired, ol’ Ez never would have lost it. Never saw anyone who could hang on to his temper as well as Ezra can. It’s why he gets the better o’ Chris so often.

Josiah gave him a hard look. "His being tired didn’t make the boy any less honest, Buck. He meant what he said."

"So what if he did?" Buck waited a beat. "All he said was he didn’t want ya ta call him son anymore, or touch him. He’s said that before." A bit more forceful ‘bout it this time, but it ain’t new.

Josiah looked pained. "And I ignored him. Rode roughshod all over him time and again." He shook his head and downed his drink. "You saw him, Buck." Josiah swallowed hard. "That look in his eyes." Josiah shuddered.

Buck remembered the fury, and the calculated intent. There was not doubt in his mind that Ezra had every intention of pulling the trigger if Josiah said or did the wrong thing. He had never expected to see that. Course the man surprises me on a regular basis, so I guess I should be used ta stuff like that. I can’t honestly say I know what Ez is capable of. There is more ta him than meets the eye. And I don’t know him half as well as I ought to.

Buck was pulled out of his thoughts when Josiah spoke again. "I didn’t know he saw it that way. Never even occurred to me that he thought I was belittling him, being disrespectful. I just…" Josiah’s voice trailed off leaving the sentence unfinished.

Buck sighed. He didn’t know what to say to that. Buck shoved his now empty glass toward Chris, mutely requesting a refill. The gunslinger filled it without saying a word.

Vin had surprised Buck by being able to reach Ezra. Buck hadn’t thought any of them were close enough to the cardsharp to get through to him at that moment. There were times when he’d been the only one who could reach Chris when it happened to him, and that had been due simply to their long time association.

Buck knew such things had to be handled carefully, and that anyone touching Ezra or using force would be making a mistake. He had been so relieved that Vin seemed to understand that. It would have taken so little for things to have ended badly.

Vin handled that just right…Talk soft, wait and let him come to you. Makes me wonder if he might not have been in my shoes once or twice. Course all his good moves were ruined when Josiah got too close later.

Buck decided that somehow Ezra’s dream and Josiah’s actions had to be related. There was no other explanation for Ezra’s reaction. Ezra was back with them when he pointed the gun at Josiah the second time. Only way any o’ that makes sense if if Josiah said or did something that was somehow part of Ez’s nightmare. If I had to guess, I’d say that whole episode took him back a ways.

All the waking nightmares Buck had ever encountered were spawned by severe situations. Things like the war, or the way Chris’ family had been killed. Those were the sort of things where dream induced terror followed a man into the real world. Buck found it disturbing that Ezra’s nightmare might have been a product of his childhood. His own childhood had been less than ideal, but had never produced anything that haunted him as an adult.

Buck sighed heavily, and took a sip of his drink. Could just add it to the other weird stuff going on around here lately, and forget about it. But he wasn’t going to do that, and he knew it.

Buck had chosen not to comment when it was Ezra, not Chris who’d rode with Vin in the wagon back to town, even though it didn’t seem right to him at the time. And he had held his tongue when Chris opted to take care of the horses, and let Ezra help Nathan with Vin. It had struck him as odd, but he let it alone, knowing better than to press into things that weren’t his business.

That Vin could reach Ezra in the midst of a waking nightmare was significant to Buck. It was Vin that Ezra apologized to. And it was Vin, Ezra seemed to be seeking reassurances from. There is something going on between the two o’ them. Not sure what but there is definitely something there.

Buck mentally tallied things, successfully resisting the urge to count them off on his fingers. Vin was defending Ezra more, and putting himself between Ezra and Josiah. Vin had reached Ezra when it was unlikely the rest of them would have been able to. Ezra had gotten Vin to drink the laudanum, and had intervened on Vin’s behalf when Nathan insisted he should be in the clinic. Ezra didn’t shake of Vin’s touch like he did everyone else’s.

Buck nodded to himself. Definitely something going on there. And it’s been going on a while. And Chris knows what. Would bet my last dollar on that.

He looked toward Chris. The gunslinger had made a point of Ezra staying with Vin. Buck had backed him up on that. When Chris had looked at him, and silently asked him to follow his lead, Buck had agreed. He’d followed Chris unquestioningly before, and would do so again. He had trusted the man for years, he wasn’t about to quit now.

He knew his friend would explain it to him when the time was right. The important thing right now was to get Josiah out of his funk, and fix what he’d failed to keep from getting broken. He didn’t really have a clue just how to do that, but not knowing how hadn’t stopped him in the past, and it wouldn’t this time either. He didn’t have so many friends he could afford to lose any, and Buck was certain that if he didn’t fix this, he would lose more than one.

"Josiah, thinkin’ too much on this is jus’ gonna drive ya nuts." Buck commented softly. "Just let it go."

Josiah glared at him, downing the shot that sat in front of him. "You think I should just forget this?" Blue eyes narrowed in anger. "Forget that he pointed a gun at me? Forget that I was so careless of a friend as to cause him pain? That I was so damn blind the man had to all but shoot me to get my attention?" Josiah growled.

"No. I think you should learn from it." Buck decided the best tactic was to be forceful in direct. Backing down now wouldn’t work. Preacher is hard headed.

"Yer always spoutin’ advice ta the rest o’ us. Tellin’ us ta learn from our mistakes so we don’t keep makin’ the same ones. Maybe ya need ta follow some o’ yer own advice." Buck nodded when he saw his remark hit home.

Josiah pursed his lips. His eyes raked Buck from head to toe. "And just what do you think the lesson is here?"

Buck raised his eyebrows. "Woulda thought that was obvious." He snorted in derision, somewhat convinced Josiah was being deliberately dense. "Ya need ta pay more attention ta what Ez says. Listen for a change. And stop thinking jus’ about yerself. This ain’t about you, Preacher. And it never was."

Josiah’s hand on the table curled into a fist. Buck wrapped a hand around his wrist and pinned his fist to the table. He made eye contact and held it. "This. Ain’t. About. You." Buck snarled quietly. "It was thinking only about you, and what you wanted, that got you into this in the first place."

Josiah flushed, and looked away. Buck let go of his arm. He sat back in his chair satisfied that he’d gotten through to the man.

Josiah sent a hard look toward Chris. "You know something about all this?"

Chris shrugged. "All of it, no. Some of it, yeah."

"You planning on telling us?"

Chris pursed his lips, and then shook his head. "Story ain’t mine ta tell."

Buck could understand that. Chris had a lot of respect for a man’s right to privacy. Each man’s past was his own. It was up to Ezra to tell it. Chris had already agreed to let Ezra tell as much as he felt they needed to know. Got a feelin’ part of this story might just involve Vin.

Josiah gave Chris a dirty look. "I don’t like being kept in the dark."

"Don’t know anyone who does." Chris raised an eyebrow, not the least bit intimidated by the bigger man’s dark expression. "You don’t have to like it. You just have to live with it. The man needs some time. I said he could have it."

Chris shook his head. He smiled tightly. There was just the faintest edge to it, reminding Buck of a wolf baring its fangs. "I won’t go back on my word. And I won’t betray the trust I was given."

"Chris, I’m not asking you t—"

"Good." Chris said firmly, cutting Josiah off, effectively ending the conversation.

Buck hid his grin behind his glass. Trust Chris not ta give an inch. Josiah ought to know better by now. He relaxed when Josiah nodded slowly, accepting what Chris had said, resigned to the fact that he would simply have to wait.

Was a battle he weren’t gonna win. Took him longer than I thought it would ta see that. Buck settled himself more comfortably in his chair. He was content with the idea of waiting. He’d waited nearly three years for Chris to come back to the land of the living. Hell a day or two ain’t nothing. Momma always said good things come ta those who wait.

*******

Ezra woke from a sound sleep. He lay still, breathing carefully controlled so as not to give away the fact that he was now aware of his surroundings. Ezra listened closely, eyes barely open, scanning the dim room, trying to ascertain what had roused him. When he heard a soft knock on the door, and a faint voice calling Vin’s name, habit ingrained over a lifetime had him rolling out of bed, reaching for his gun hanging from the bedpost, and rising silently to his feet.

His movement invoked a similar reaction from Vin. Except that the tracker slid off the far side of the bed, reaching for the gun he’d placed near by. Both of them pointed their guns at the door, ready to attack or defend, depending on whatever the situation required.

Another knock. "Vin? Ezra? It’s Nate."

Ezra blinked. It took him a moment to mentally switch gears. He swayed slightly, and reached out to brace himself with one hand against the wall. Nathan?….Oh, right, Nathan.

"A moment if you please, Mr. Jackson."

Ezra regained his balance, and quickly moved to slip on his boots. He snagged his holster from the bedpost and shrugged into it quickly. He swept up his jacket and hung it on the chair. Should have put it there earlier, but I didn’t feel like getting out of bed. Still don’t feel like being out of bed, but it can’t be helped. He glanced at Vin, who had relaxed against the bed when he realized it was a friend at the door.

"Can you get back in bed?" Ezra whispered. He hadn’t meant to galvanize Vin to action when he’d moved so quickly, but knew his lover had survival traits just as ingrained as his own. He appreciated the fact that such instincts had kept Vin alive for a long time, and wouldn’t fault him for acting on them just as Ezra had acted on his own.

Vin chuckled quietly, and whispered his reply. "Reckon. Got myself out okay."

"Good. I would hate for Mr. Jackson to think I allowed you to fall out of bed." Ezra winked, and gave him a cocky grin as he moved toward the door. He might still feel a bit like death warmed over, but there was no reason for Vin to know that.

Ezra ran fingers through his hair restoring it to some order. He took a deep breath and focused, trying to appear calm and unruffled. Ezra glanced around the room, checking to see that everything was more or less in order. He waited until Vin was once again in bed, lounging comfortably against the headboard before unlocking and opening the door.

"Mr. Jackson." Ezra nodded to the healer, and waved a hand politely ushering him in. Less than two minutes had elapsed since Ezra had first awoken. Not bad, Ezra. Not bad at all.

"Ez." Nathan was balancing a small tray of food. "Chris told me ya were keepin’ an eye on Vin." That statement came across as more of a question. Nathan looked a bit puzzled as to why it was Ezra who’d stayed.

Ezra was grateful that at least Nathan and JD had been absent during his earlier lapse of reason, and corresponding display of temper. Two less people he had embarrassed himself in front of, and owed explanations to. It was small consolation, but at the moment he’d take it. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face the others just yet. Mr. Larabee said he’d give me some time. I have a feeling I’ll need every minute of it. I have to figure out how to talk to Vin first before I can even consider talking to the others.

Ezra smiled slightly at Nathan, ignoring the implied question. He didn’t feel like answering it. "I see you have brought Mr. Tanner some sustenance."

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, I brought him dinner. He doin’ all right?"

"You could just ask me, ya know." Vin called from the bed, just a touch of annoyance in his voice. "What did ya bring me to eat?"

Nathan set the tray down on the dresser. "Had Inez put together some soup for you. And some biscuits."

Vin frowned. "Would rather have a good steak, potatoes. Maybe some gravy too."

Nathan shook his head. "Don’t need anything heavy just yet."

"I ain’t sick, Nate." Vin protested. "I told ya…it’s just a scratch."

Nathan gave him a stern look. "It is not just a scratch. If ya still feel up to it, you can have yer usual breakfast tomorrow. But tonight yer eatin’ what I tell ya to."

Vin scowled. When someone was injured it was rare that Nathan didn’t get his way. It was usually an act of futility to argue with him. It was only Chris’ intervention that had kept Vin from ending up in the clinic. Ezra made a mental note to thank Chris later for arranging things as well as he had.

Ezra decided he’d have to leave at some point, and see if there was still some of the pie he’d had at lunch left. Vin liked it almost as well as Ezra did. I’m sure he would enjoy a piece of that cherry. It was delicious. And would certainly go a long way toward make up for such a lackluster repast as what Mr. Jackson has seen fit to provide.

Nathan moved toward the bed. He gently placed the back of his hand against Vin’s forehead. "Bit of a fever." The healer commented. It was not unexpected, and Nathan didn’t sound overly worried. Most wounds, even when completely clean, tended to generate a slight fever. It should disappear in a day or so.

"You hurtin’?"

"Nah." Vin shrugged. "Jus’ a bit tired is all."

Nathan nodded, clearly expecting that answer. Vin never admitted to being in pain. Tired, yes. Pain, no. "Blood loss makes a body tired. Need ta check that leg." He carefully rolled the blankets back.

"Perhaps a bit more light would be of assistance." Ezra offered. The low light in the room let him know the sun had gone down not too long ago. He turned up the lamp, brightening the room considerably. He pulled out his watch, curious as to the time. Hmmm…we were only asleep for two hours. He felt more rested after that brief time than he had in the last four days. Amazing how good a few short hours of dreamless sleep can make one feel. Although, I wouldn’t say no to a bit more. Like maybe a week or so.

Nathan took a moment to check Vin’s eyes, before looking at his leg. Ezra was always surprised by how much one could tell from the eyes. He remembered seeing many a wounded or sick man, knowing something was wrong just from the look in their eyes. A sick man’s eyes tended to be clouded with pain, dull and glassy. Ezra shuddered to think what his own eyes might reveal about his state of health at the moment. A good thing no one is looking as closely at me.

Vin’s blue eyes were bright and clear. Nathan nodded in satisfaction at what he saw. "Looks like rest did ya some good."

Vin nodded. He sent a quick glance toward Ezra, and winked. Remembering what Vin had said earlier, Ezra knew his lover felt the same way he did about being able to sleep deeply even for so short a time. It was likely the most refreshing bit of rest either of them had gotten in several days.

Nathan examined Vin’s leg with tender care. "Gonna have to change that bandage tomorrow."

Vin nodded. "Figured as much."

Nathan pulled the covers back up. "Ezra, would you bring that tray over?"

"Certainly, Mr. Jackson." Ezra picked up the tray, careful not spill anything. The bowl of soup was covered, keeping it warm. The biscuits were in a basket wrapped in a small towel. Ezra eyed the little teapot that was also on the tray. He recognized it as the one Nathan usually traveled with. More of those noxious concoctions, no doubt. Still, it will likely ensure Vin recovers quickly so I suppose that is a good thing.

Ezra offered the tray to Nathan, not at all surprised when he picked up the small teapot, and poured a cup. Ezra, balanced the tray in one hand, and picked up his derringer and spring loaded rigging with the other. He then put the tray down on the bedside table.

In his earlier haste, he’d forgotten that he’d left it there. With a swift efficiency, he set about buckling the rigging to his right forearm. Thank God, Mr. Jackson didn’t notice I had removed it. I’m sure I could have found a reasonable excuse to give him, but it is easier not to simply avoid having to obfuscate at all.

Nathan offered the cup of tea he’d poured to Vin. Vin grimaced in distaste. "You sure I gotta drink this stuff?"

"I’m sure." Nathan said firmly.

Vin opened his mouth to protest again, but Ezra looked up from where he was securing the derringer to its rightful place, and stopped him with a hard look. "Drink it, Vin. Please." He added the please, remembering how little he enjoyed being ordered about. Knowing Vin didn’t appreciate it either. The thing he hated most about being injured was suddenly you were at the mercy of every one who thought they knew what was best for you. Never mind that I’ve been looking out for myself almost since I could walk.

Vin sighed, and drank the whole cup in one gulp. "God…that’s awful, Nate."

Nathan nodded. "I know. Ya told me that before."

"And ya still ain’t done a thing to fix it." Vin shot back at him.

Ezra occasionally pondered the possibility that Nathan didn’t try to improve the taste because he wanted to punish them for getting hurt in the first place. Ezra shook his head, and smiled slightly at the thought. As if aversion to the cure would make it more likely one could avoid the disease. Vin must have seem him smile and looked questioningly at him. Ezra made a ‘later’ motion with his hand.

Nathan uncovered the bowl of soup, and offered it to Vin, along with a biscuit that Vin crumbled into the bowl. Ezra hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch, and his stomach took that moment to remind him of that fact by growling loudly. Nathan looked at him.

"You get anything to eat yet, Ez?"

"Not yet, Mr. Jackson." Ezra answered honestly. There was no point in lying. His stomach had already betrayed him. "I have been otherwise occupied."

Nathan’s eyes narrowed as he studied Ezra. "Ya didn’t eat much for lunch."

I do not need him fussing over me. Allowing it will only serve to annoy me, and will certainly worry Vin unnecessarily if he thinks something is wrong. Something more than what we’ve already got to attend to. Nathan’s time is better spent focusing on Vin. He was the one injured, and in need of care. I am simply a victim of my own foolishness.

Ezra artfully heaved an exasperated sigh, more for show than anything else. "The fact that I do not consume the same gluttonous amounts as Mr. Wilmington is well known, Mr. Jackson. Not everyone is up to such a Herculean task, or feels the need to engage in eating as though it were one’s last meal."

"Still wouldn’t hurt you to get a good meal. You look a bit peeked."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "Peeked? Nonsense." He shrugged one shoulder. "However, I must agree that a good meal would not be unwelcome." He waved a hand toward Vin. "However, it would not do to simply leave Mr. Tanner in his hour of need."

Nathan pursed his lips. "One o’ the others could have stayed."

Think Ezra! A reason must be given. One that makes sense would be good. He nodded his head thoughtfully as though conceding Nathan’s point. "I’m sure Mr. Larabee and Mr. Wilmington were in need of some rest. Spending days sleeping on the ground is hardly conducive to a good night’s slumber." Ezra grimaced at the thought of sleeping on the ground. "And Mr. Sanchez had only just ridden into town. He undoubtedly wanted some time to recoup his energies."

Nathan frowned. "They ain’t worked any harder than you have, Ezra. Doubt they were any more tired than you are."

Ezra raised an eyebrow at the healer’s statement. His lips quirked into a cynical smile, green eyes mocking. "Oh, come now, Mr. Jackson, you have often accused me of being shiftless, lazy, and I believe, good for nothing. It is highly unlikely that such a person would pull his own weight, much less exceed the minimal requirements."

"Well, I was wrong." Nathan said gruffly, no longer looking at Ezra. "You aren’t lazy or good for nothing."

Ezra looked toward Vin in confusion, his brow furled. "Mr. Tanner, you might want to check Mr. Jackson for a fever of his own."

Vin smirked, and reached out to place his hand against Nathan’s forehead. "Seems okay to me, Ez."

Nathan batted Vin’s hand away. If the healer had a fairer complexion, Ezra would have sworn the man was blushing. Ezra successfully contained the grin that threatened to burst free when Nathan noisily cleared his throat and shifted his weight nervously. It would be ungentlemanly to openly display amusement at another’s discomfort, no matter how much he wanted to.

"If you want to get dinner, Ezra, you might as well go." Nathan said, his gaze on the floor, clearly still a bit embarrassed. "I’ll stay with Vin. Chris will probably be by soon enough."

Ezra sighed silently, uncertain of what to say. If he left, there would be no coming back until someone relieved Nathan. The healer was bound to ask questions if he was present when Ezra returned. If Chris did put in an appearance, which Ezra rather doubted, the man was going to expect answers. Answers that Ezra wasn’t ready to give him yet, and the gambler wasn’t certain if he would be allowed to ask for more time. If he tried to stay, he’d raise even more questions with Nathan.

Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. God, but I hate situations like this. Ezra realized that he might have to plan on sleeping the rest of the night alone. It wasn’t what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure he could find a logical argument that would work with Nathan. Ezra mentally slapped the little voice that suggested telling Nathan the truth. He already had more on his plate than he was ready to handle, there was no way he was willing to take on more at the moment.

"I don’t need a baby sitter, Nate." Vin stated firmly. Ezra knew that his lover had been thinking the same things he had. Neither of them really wanted to spend the night alone. The past two hours weren’t enough to make up for their time apart.

He made eye contact and tried to silently tell Vin to just let it go. Spending one more night alone wouldn’t kill me. Vin shook his head slightly, clearly telling Ezra he wasn’t going to give in.

Ezra’s throat felt tight. He knew Vin loved him. Vin had said so more than once, and the tracker didn’t lie. But there was something decidedly reassuring about having his lover fight to make it possible for him to stay. One of the first hard lessons Ezra had learned in his life, was that few people would ever go to bat for him. Where he was concerned, people tended to take the easy road, the path of least resistance. They didn’t seem to think he was worth the bother.

Ezra smiled warmly at Vin, love shining in his eyes. I really must remember that Vin is not most people. He is most definitely unique. A treasure of incalculable worth.

Vin’s lips curled into a small half smile before he turned his attention back to Nathan. "I keep tellin’ you, Nate, I’m not sick. Ain’t like I haven’t been shot before, ya know. I been takin’ care o’ myself for years."

"You need to stay off that leg, and rest." Nathan held up a hand. His tone was soft but firm. "I know you, Vin. You’ll be tryin’ ta sneak out o’ here the first chance ya get. Won’t do that leg any good if ya do."

Vin scowled. "I don’t plan on leavin’."

"Then havin’ someone stay and keep an eye on you shouldn’t be a problem, should it?"

Vin’s jaw tightened, and his eyes narrowed. Ezra had no difficulty reading the anger and determination there. Ezra idly wondered if Nathan thought aggravating his patients was good for them. He certainly seems to do it a lot where Vin is concerned. He shook his head trying to rid himself of thoughts that weren’t going to help the situation any. He needed to come up with something before this got out of hand.

A knock at the door halted further argument. Ezra was grateful for the reprieve. He opened the door, careful to stand slightly behind the door so that his body was shielded. Someone with deadly intent was unlikely to knock, rather than merely break in, but Ezra knew one could never be too careful.

Standing outside the door was a breathless Josh Potter, face red from exertion. The boy was panting, his expression a mixture of excitement and fear. Ezra opened the door wider.

"Mr. Potter, whatever is the matter?"

Josh took a breath. "Momma sent me ta get Mr. Nathan. Said ta get him right away. Already tried the clinic, jail and the saloon. Mr. Larabee said was here."

"He is." Ezra ushered the boy in. "What’s wrong, Joshua?"

"Mr. Cavanaugh came inta town in a hurry. Said something was wrong with the missus. Said she was bleedin’."

Oh damn. Damn. Damn. Please, don’t let her loose this baby. I’m not sure she could handle another loss. "Nathan." Ezra looked toward the healer, unable to keep some of his concern leaking into his voice.

Nathan was already up and moving. "Where is he? Did he bring Mrs. Cavanaugh with him?"

Josh shook his head vigorously. "No, sir. Said he was afraid ta bring her. Didn’t want ta leave her alone either, but he didn’t think the ride ta town would be something she could handle."

"Josh, I need you to run to the livery. Tell Yosemite to saddle my horse." The boy was out the door almost before Nathan finished speaking. The healer looked at Vin, a brief flash of indecision settled on his features when he did.

Ezra waved a hand toward the door in a shooing motion. "Go. Go. I’ll keep an eye on him. You are needed more urgently elsewhere."

Nathan nodded, and headed toward the door with a swift purposeful stride. He glanced over his shoulder. "Chris should be along soon ta relieve ya. Make sure Vin behaves himself. And don’t let him leave that bed."

Ezra nodded, and casually saluted the healer. "Godspeed, and good luck, Mr. Jackson."

"Thanks." Nathan smiled grimly. "Might just need it." With that he was out the door, closing it softly behind him.

Ezra sat down in the chair Nathan had recently vacated. He rubbed one hand over his face. He had wanted Nathan to leave so that he could be alone with Vin, but this wasn’t quite what he had in mind. Not by a long shot. I would never wish an innocent ill simply to indulge my own wishes.

He rubbed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Have you ever noticed…it can’t seem to rain without pouring?"

Vin reached out and patted Ezra’s leg, squeezing lightly. "Yeah…Noticed that. Kind o’ seems ta be the way o’ things."

Ezra dropped his hand, and put it hand over Vin’s. He curled his fingers around Vin’s hand, holding it loosely, finding comfort in that simple gesture. "Do you think…." Ezra sighed, suddenly afraid to voice his thought out loud.

"Think what?" Vin’s question was whisper soft.

"That…the baby will make it?"

Vin tightened his hold on Ezra’s hand. "Don’t know. Hope so. Nate will do the best he can. Can’t ask more than that."

Ezra nodded. "It does not seem fair." He sighed heavily. "But then life is seldom fair." There was no point in dwelling on this. There was nothing he could do other than pray, and Ezra seriously doubted God would be inclined to listen to him. Despite the belief that God has long since given him up as lost, Ezra still sent a brief fervent prayer heavenward, asking for Mrs. Cavanaugh to be granted a reprieve and a healthy baby.

"Why don’t you finish your dinner? There is no point in letting it get cold." Ezra suggested gently, striving to return things to normal. Although, I’m not sure exactly what would constitute normal for us. Perhaps some day when things are quiet, I shall endeavor to sit down and give that due consideration.

"What ‘bout you?"

"Me?" The question had surprised Ezra.

"You ain’t eaten yet." Vin reminded him. He studied Ezra closely, eyes narrowed in stark appraisal. "Know yer hungry, Ez. Don’t look like you been eatin’ too good lately." He offered the half full bowl of soup to Ezra. "I’ll share with ya."

"Nathan will have a fit if you don’t eat all that." Ezra was sorely tempted by Vin’s offer. It was the first time since Vin had left that he actually felt like eating. He mentally slapped himself hard for even considering eating nourishment Vin needed far more than he did. Honestly, Ezra, it’s not as if you haven’t been hungry before. And this time it is your own damn fault.

Vin grinned at him, not at all intimidated by Ezra’s use of Nathan as a threat. "What he don’t know won’t hurt me. An’ this way you don’t have ta leave."

"Ah." Ezra smiled slightly, readily understanding Vin’s reasoning. But he still didn’t take the bowl. "You need that far more than I do."

He held up a hand, stopping what Vin was about to say. There was no way he would short his friend and lover. "It will not hurt me to see to getting dinner for myself. Particularly not when it can be easily acquired with no more effort than a short walk." He raised an eyebrow. "And while I’m there, perhaps a bit of pie, for both of us, might be retrieved to serve as dessert."

Vin’s eyes lit up. "Pie?"

"Yes." Ezra grinned. "It seems there was a surplus of cherries and blueberries available."

Vin licked his lips. "Like cherry pie. Not as much as peach cobbler, but I wouldn’t say no to a piece."

"I didn’t think you would." Ezra never would have offered otherwise. He stood. "Finish your soup. I’ll bring us back some pie. All right?"

"Okay." Vin gave him a hard look. "You ain’t back here in an hour, I’m comin’ ta get ya."

Ezra grinned, dimples making an appearance, gold pre-molar flashing briefly. "I fully intend to return before the allotted time has expired. Have no fear."

"Better be planning on stayin’ the night too." Vin growled, the playful look in his eyes ruining the effect of his voice.

Ezra’s expression shifted into a something lascivious, and he winked. "Well, now, Mr. Jackson did tell me to keep an eye on you. I would be remise in my duties if I did not follow through with his orders to make sure you didn’t leave that bed." Ezra’s voice deepened, and his tone got husky. "I think you will find, Mr. Tanner, my way of ensuring your obedience is far more pleasant than Mr. Jackson’s."

Vin ducked his head, a faint blush dusting his cheekbones. He looked up from under his eyelashes, teasing just a bit. "And jus’ how much better is it, Ez?"

Ezra bent down and kissed Vin, wanting to taste the smile he could see lurking on the edges of Vin’s mouth. He leisurely explored of that beloved wet grotto, taking his time to get reacquainted with the shape, feel and taste of Vin. Ezra felt like he could spend days remapping that well know, much loved territory. God, but I have missed this. He pulled away slowly. Vin looked just a bit dazed, eyes glazed, and face flushed.

Ezra raised a hand to caress softly caress Vin’s cheek. "Just to hold us over until I return."

Vin swallowed. "Don’t take…too long."

"I won’t." With that Ezra headed out the door determined to be back in record time. He didn’t really want to leave at all, but he knew once Vin got over being distracted he’d be after Ezra about eating something. It made Ezra feel warm all over that Vin took an active interest in his well-being. He smiled softly to himself, and hurried to the restaurant intent on grabbing a quick bite, their pie, and returning. There was enough lost time to be made up for without adding to it.

*******

Vin woke slowly. Keeping his eyes closed, he took stock of his surroundings. Lavender and sandalwood. Warm skin. Slow, steady breathing. Soft mattress. Vin smiled, and snuggled into the warm body he was wrapped around. His whole body sang with that ‘life is good’ feeling he’d been missing. Don’t get any better’n this. It jus’ don’t.

Vin spent several minutes enjoying the opportunity to wake up the way he liked best, reveling in life’s simple pleasures. Safety, contentment, and comfort had been rare things in his life, and Vin intended to lock away this moment in his memory forever. Slowly, after indulging himself completely, Vin opened his eyes. The lack of real light in the room told him the sun wasn’t up yet. It would be another hour or so before dawn.

Vin smiled when he realized the window was still open. The faint breeze coming in brought with it the early morning chill, and the sound of birds beginning their daily morning chorus. That sound was likely what had awoken him in the first place. He had spent the majority of his life waking with the rest of the natural world.

Vin sighed softly, and stretched, careful of his leg, knowing it would be stiff. He grinned, remembering last night. His leg hadn’t been the only thing that had gotten stiff. He placed a kiss on the bare shoulder closest to him, wondering how he’d managed to get through life before he’d met Ezra. The man just kept surprising him.

Ezra had returned to the room bearing more than just pie. He’d come with a bucket of warm water, and a bar of soap, as well. Vin had raised his eyebrows when he saw what Ezra was carrying. "What you plannin’ ta do with that?"

Ezra smiled. "I thought you might appreciate the chance to remove some trail dust."

Vin would have loved a bath, but he didn’t see how that was an option. He wasn’t going to be allowed to leave the room. "I won’t fit in that bucket, Ez."

Ezra had laughed, a delighted peel of amusement, which Vin would have given his right arm to hear again. Ezra rarely laughed like that, so open and free. Green eyes sparkled, positively dancing with good humor as they measured Vin’s form. "No. No, you certainly wouldn’t fit."

"Then how—"

"Sponge bath, my dear man. Not as good as a real bath, but certainly better than remaining as you are at the moment."

Vin helped Ezra strip him out of his clothes until he was as naked as the day he was born. Vin smiled invitingly. "You gonna join me?"

Ezra’s eyes were still dancing, as he ever so slowly stripped out of his clothing. Ezra shot him a sly glance, hands poised in the middle of undoing the pearl buttons of his shirt cuffs, his chest bare to Vin’s appreciative eyes. "A gentlemen must never make his guests feel uncomfortable."

Vin nodded sagely, enjoying this little tease. "I can see how you bein’ dressed an’ me bein’," Vin waved a hand to encompass himself as a way to illustrate his point. "Yeah, the gentlemanly thing ta do would be for you to join me." He winked. "For the sake of propriety, an’ all that."

Ezra chuckled. "Propriety, but, of course. For appearance sake."

Vin grinned. "I’m beginnin’ ta think bein’ a gentleman ain’t all bad."

Ezra laughed again, making Vin’s spine tingle with delight at that sound. He then proceeded to gently, and thoroughly wash the trail dust of four days from Vin’s lean form. His touch was soothing and arousing at the same time. Vin never would have guess that having Ezra wash his fingers and toes could be such a turn on. There wasn’t a spot on him that Ezra didn’t lavish with special attention. Vin was so hard he was aching by the time Ezra finished with his sponge bath.

Vin was disappointed that Ezra wouldn’t let him do the same to him, saying he was wounded and shouldn’t exert himself. That didn’t stop Ezra from washing his own limbs, teasing Vin with the ‘look but don’t touch’ expression he wore the whole time. He took exaggerated care and drew attention to each body part with every movement. Despite being completely naked, Ezra some how managed to turn something so simple into a wonderfully erotic game of show and tell. Vin could do nothing else but lay back and enjoy it.

Vin loved looking at Ezra. He had developed an appreciation for the clean lines, and nicely compact form that made up his lover. The way those long fingered elegant hands found a counterpoint of equal grace in his feet. The fine boned, refined shape that became apparent in the slender wrists and ankles. Well-muscled calves and thighs were testimony to the amount of time the man spent in the saddle. A flat stomach, and nicely muscled upper body completed the package.

Vin had found breathing incredibly difficult watching his lover go about something so simple as bathing. The man was gorgeous. Vin appreciated every minute of it of Ezra’s little show, and was thrilled when he realized Ezra was enjoying his perusal as well. Ezra’s eyes seemed to glow like a cat’s, a tell-tale sign of his pleasure.

Vin never would have suspected his ‘oh, so proper’ lover enjoyed showing himself off this way. But then he hadn’t expected to like it as much as he did either. He asked Ezra if there was a word for it, certain that if there was, Ezra would know it.

Ezra smiled wickedly, clearly delighted with the question. "You would be a voyeur. Which in this case, would make me an exhibitionist. Albeit a rather selective one."

"Damn right." Vin growled. There had been more than just a touch of possessiveness in his tone. "Nobody else gets ta see you this way."

"No. No one else." Ezra said, his voice little more than a husky whisper.
Ezra stretched out next to Vin on the bed. He leaned in and kissed him. "Damn shame I can’t wash your hair as well." Ezra murmured in a soft whisper when he pulled away, his fingers carding through Vin’s long locks.

Vin groaned. He loved having Ezra wash his hair, almost as much Ezra seemed to love doing it. It always felt so good Vin all but purred when Ezra did it. "Next time." He panted, still breathless from that kiss.

"Agreed." Ezra then worked his way down Vin’s torso planting tiny kisses along the way, and leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Vin’s hands were free to roam over the expanse of soft skin now so close. Nothing he’d ever touched felt as good as Ezra did. There was nothing to compare it to.

Vin’s touch pulled little sighs and whimpers from his lover. Over the past month he learned just where and how Ezra liked to be touched. Vin wanted Ezra to feel as good as he did so he paid special attention to what his lover liked using those soft vocalizations as cues.

When Ezra would have continued to work his way further down Vin’s abdomen to engulf his leaking cock with that talented mouth and tongue, Vin stopped him. Ezra raised an eyebrow. Vin smiled. "Want it… to be both o’ us."

Ezra sighed. "One of these days we will have to explore the option of mutual fellatio, but for now I think it best to skip such lessons."

Vin stared at him. Totally amazed that his lover could still make complete sentences like that. He was lucky that he could speak at all. "More lessons?"

Ezra shook his head. "Not today. Perhaps later." Ezra gently patted Vin’s wounded leg. "We don’t wish to over do this."

"I won’t break."

"Good." Ezra said. He made his way back up Vin’s chest to nuzzle the spot on Vin’s neck that made always made him go weak in the knees. Ezra worked his way up one side of Vin’s neck to let his tongue rim Vin’s ear. "I wouldn’t want someone who broke easily." Ezra’s voice was a dark whisper of passion.

Vin shivered. "Please, Ez. Please." Vin wasn’t sure if if was possible for a man to come without ever having his cock touched, but he was pretty sure if Ezra didn’t do something soon, he just might find out.

Ezra lowered a hand, letting it ghost over Vin’s chest, to encircle his throbbing cock. Vin arched into his hand, thrusting hard, amazed as always by just how good that felt. He reached out to fist Ezra’s cock at the same time, wanting his lover to share in his pleasure.

Ezra moved to kiss him. Their tongues dueled for dominance, even as their hands and hips moved in concert. Vin shuddered, feeling like he was teetering on the brink of a cliff. He opened his eyes when Ezra lifted his head, breaking their kiss. Blue eyes met green. The love and lust, pleasure and passion were so readily visible for a moment Vin couldn’t breathe, lost in the depth he saw there. Then he was coming so hard he saw stars. He was only dimly aware that Ezra had come with him.

Vin laid there panting, unable to do anything more complicated than that for several minutes. Ezra lay still with his head buried in Vin’s neck. He could feel Ezra’s harsh panting breaths against his shoulder. Vin raised a hand to run it soothingly down Ezra’s spine, over and over again.

When Ezra recovered, he cleaned them both up. He offered Vin the silk shorts he’d been wearing. Vin had frowned, not ready to get dressed. He liked being naked with Ezra. Liked having nothing between them when they slept.

Ezra looked apologetic. "One of the others still might stop by. It would be best if we were not literally caught with our pants down."

Vin pursed his lips at the mention of the others, and reluctantly agreed. He took the shorts. "This mean you ain’t gonna sleep with me?"

Ezra smiled softly. "Of course not." The gambler pulled on his own pants but left his shirt and jacket where he’d draped them over the chair. "It just means we need to be ready to move at a moments notice."

He joined Vin on the bed, offering him his piece of pie, which had sat languishing on the dresser. He’d also brought a small pitcher of chilled milk. Vin hadn’t drunk milk in years, but he knew better than to refuse it when Ezra offered him a mug. He was pleased to find that it went very well with his pie.

Vin hesitated for a moment. He didn’t really want to ruin the mood. This brief interlude had been wonderful, but he really couldn’t leave things this way without saying something. Ezra had come very close to shooting Josiah only a few hours ago, and he still didn’t know why. If one of the others did happen to show up, the last thing Vin wanted was a repeat of that scene.

"We need to talk."

"I know. I have not forgotten." Ezra said softly. "Just not tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. Okay?"

Vin nodded, accepting that. He’d get nowhere by pushing. If he pushed, Ezra would pull away, and clam up tighter than a drum. If he gave Ezra the room he needed, Vin had no doubts that Ezra would eventually tell him what he wanted to know.

They finished off their desserts together in silence. Ezra put the plates and mugs on the dresser before coming back to the bed. Together they curled up, more than ready to sleep. Ezra had snuggled in close, his head pillowed on Vin’s shoulder. They were both soundly asleep in no time. Sometime during the night they must have shifted so that Ezra was on his side and Vin spooned in tightly behind him.

Vin shook himself out of his thoughts. Never been one ta daydream ‘fore. Course I didn’t have nothin’ ta daydream about either. He reluctantly pulled away from Ezra, thinking now would be a good time to take care of his usual morning business. The early rays of a false dawn were providing enough light to see by.

He thought he could be out and back before Ezra even noticed he was gone. The gambler shivered, and mumbled something unintelligible as he burrowed more deeply into the covers, shifting to close the distance Vin had created. Vin moved away again, preparing to roll out. A hand captured his wrist in a tight hold stopping him.

Ezra opened one eye. "And just where do you think you are going?"

"Gotta use the privy."

Ezra shook his head. "No."

"No?" What the hell does he mean, no?

"Use the chamber pot."

"Ah, Ez, I hate those things."

"Don’t care. You’re not supposed to be wandering around."

Vin rolled his eyes. "I’m not gonna wander around."

Ezra smiled. "Good. Use the pot."

Vin frowned. "Yer as bad as Nathan."

Ezra’s smile grew into a grin. "You didn’t have any complaints last night. Although, if you truly fail to appreciate the difference, I can always leave you to Mr. Jackson’s tender mercies in the future."

Vin sighed heavily. Never know with Ezra. He might just be serious. "Okay. Okay. I’ll use the damn pot." Vin reached under the bed, found the pot, and made use of it.

Ezra nodded, satisfied. He sat up with a yawn, eyes blinking slowly. The man could become awake and aware at a moment’s notice when the situation called for it, but he preferred to wake up slowly. Ezra glanced around. "Good Lord. The sun isn’t even up yet."

Vin tried hard not to smirk at the note of surprise and disgust in Ezra’s voice. Ezra was not a morning person. If the gambler had his way, the day would never start before ten in the morning at the very earliest. To Vin’s amazement, the gambler got out of bed, and began to pull on the rest of his clothes. "What are ya doin’, Ez?"

"Unless I am mistaken, I still have morning patrol. No point in going back to bed now." Ezra stretched, arms fully extended over his head, back arched slightly. Vin took a moment to appreciate the view, relishing in the sight of muscle rippling beneath smooth skin.

"You will obviously not be taking it." That statement was accompanied with a stern look at Vin, and redirecting the tracker’s attention back to the subject at hand. "JD took my shift at the jail last night, but no other arrangements were made for this morning."

"We still need to talk." Vin said softly. Last night, he’d let Ezra distract him from what had happened. He’d accepted that Ezra needed some time, and had let Ezra take the lead. If the gambler wanted to ignore it for a little while, Vin was not going to argue about it. It was merely delaying the inevitable. They both knew they’d have to talk about it some time. Vin had planned to wait until later in the day, let Ezra sleep himself out before bringing it up, but that wasn’t an option now. Ezra will have ta be at the jail in another hour. Once he leaves he won’t be back until noon. And I got a feeling Chris won’t want too long after that fer his answers. Man ain’t known for his patience.

Ezra froze. He took a deep breath, and then another. The gambler sighed. "I should probably have said something to you long before this."

Vin waited patiently. Ezra’s fingers worked swiftly on buttoning his shirt. He tucked in the tails and slipped into his jacket. Ezra lit the lamp, providing them with additional light. He checked his watch, and nodded. He waved a hand toward the bed. "You might as well get comfortable. This may take awhile."

Vin bunched up the pillows behind him so he could lean comfortably against the headboard. Ezra sat down in the chair. Vin wasn’t sure if the distance between them was a good thing or not, but decided not to push it.

Ezra’s face transformed itself in the pleasantly bland expression he normally wore while playing poker. Vin tensed, already worried. Whenever Ezra got that look away from a card game, it didn’t seem to bode well. He stared at the wall silently for several minutes.

"You said that what happened last night was related ta yer nightmares." Vin offered hesitantly, thinking Ezra might need some help delving into whatever this was.

Ezra nodded. "Indeed." He took a deep breath, and seemed to brace himself. Vin was reminded of seeing a condemned man getting ready for his execution. Lord, I hope this ain’t that bad.

"Do you remember me telling you about my time aboard the Esmerelda?"

"Yeah." No way am I gonna forget that. Ya damn near died when that ship went down. It was the first piece of Ezra’s past he’d ever given to Vin.

Ezra wouldn’t look at him. His eyes remained fixed on the far wall. "I didn’t tell you everything."

Vin nodded, not at all surprised. "Didn’t figure ya did."

Ezra’s lips curled briefly into a sad smile. "You are definitely unique, my friend. Most others would be offended if they knew I withheld information."

"Yer life. Figure it’s yer right ta tell as much of it as ya want to. I’m jus’ glad ya felt free ta share as much of it with me as ya have." Vin knew just how much trust there had to be to feel comfortable talking about one’s past. It wasn’t something he’d ever done casually, and he was sure Ezra hadn’t either.

He shrugged one shoulder carelessly. "Ain’t told you everythin’ ‘bout my past either." He felt compelled to add that, wanting Ezra to understand why he so readily understood. Ezra nodded, his smile genuine this time. Vin knew he’d gotten it. Only other person who ever really gotten him so quickly was Chris.

The smile vanished as suddenly as it appeared. Ezra’s posture remained stiff. "What I neglected to tell you was, St. John did not agree to Mother’s proposal because there was an open berth on the ship. He didn’t need a cabin boy. Didn’t really want one either."

Vin frowned. Ezra had told him that Maude had somehow managed to end up owing the captain of the Esmerelda a great deal of money. Gabriel St. John, SinJin to his friends, was not a man who she could cheat, or run out on. The debt had to be paid, and Maude bartered Ezra for payment. Ezra had told Vin he’d basically worked as an indentured servant, but Vin didn’t really see any difference between that and slavery. The thought that Ezra’s mother could have sold him, apparently with little thought, and no regrets, and left Vin almost too angry to speak at the time.

Vin hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he should ask more or not. Got a feelin’ this ain’t gonna be good. But I need ta know. Can’t let last night happen again.

"So…why did he take ya on?"

"He liked the way I looked." Ezra’s voice had taken on a matter-of-fact tone. He could be discussing the weather for all the more inflection there was in his voice. His face told another story. It was as closed, and blank, as Vin had ever seen it. His eyes were carefully shuttered, revealing nothing. That told Vin a great deal. A man don’t rein himself in that hard for no reason.

"SinJin had a thing for slender builds, green eyes, and curly hair. He said I looked like an elf, and I rather imagine he may have been right about that." Ezra’s green eyes were dull, almost lifeless, but they still managed to pin Vin in place, almost daring him to look away. "SinJin regarded me with much the same passion that a man generally reserves for a woman. He agreed to take me on board for that reason."

Vin swallowed hard. He was sure he’d misheard or misunderstood what Ezra was saying. That can’t be right "You said you were only thirteen when ya first set foot on that ship."

Ezra nodded. "I was."

Vin balled his hands into fists. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! He wanted to stop Ezra, to forget that he’d forced the man to talk to him. To forget he’d ever asked a question, that he’d ever forced Ezra to dredge up something he so obviously wanted to leave buried. But Ezra kept talking.

"Perhaps it would be best to put this bluntly." Ezra nodded to himself. "At the ripe old age of thirteen, I was put to work as a whore, with my mother bartering my body in payment for her debt." Ezra’s voice had gone hard and cold. It had taken on the same clipped tone he’d used last night when he told Josiah not to touch him.

"She knew what he wanted?" Vin managed to bite out between his teeth, hoping that Maude had made an honest mistake. He’d been incensed when he thought Maude had done what amounted to selling Ezra into slavery, but this was so much more than that. Please, oh please, tell me she didn’t do that to you.

Ezra smiled, a bitter twist of his lips. "Naturally, she knew. Mother is a shrewd woman. She never would have considered offering me to him as payment if she hadn’t been certain he’d accept. Otherwise, he might have been insulted. And that would not have aided her in the least."

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. He was so tense the gesture lacked his usual grace. "She knew he would accept. Mother is very familiar with how tempting one’s vices can be. And the value of being able to exploit those vices to their fullest."

His expression shifted into the self-mocking one Vin detested. "She was sure I would have no objections. After all, why should I? It is not as if I had any say in the matter. It was a golden opportunity for me to see the world, meet interesting people, and learn a useful trade. It wasn’t as if spending time with my mother was a viable option after all. I was far too young to be a service to her in her many cons, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t be of service to another."

Vin was livid. He was shaking, he was so angry. That bitch! The good for nothing, fucking bitch! I’ll kill her. I will skin her, and mount her on the goddamn wall as a trophy. I swear, the next time I see her, it’ll be through my gun sight.

Vin took a deep breath, clenching his hands into fists. He closed his eyes, and clamped his jaw shut tight against saying what he’d been thinking. Ezra didn’t need his anger. And Vin was fairly certain that no matter how the man felt about his mother, he wouldn’t welcome Vin’s sentiments. Blood ties seemed to command a certain degree of loyalty no matter how heinous the crime.

When Vin felt like he could stay in control, he opened his eyes. He realized he may have been silent a bit too long if the expression on Ezra’s face was anything to go by. The man looked like he was ready to bolt. "Ez?"

The gambler flinched at the sound of Vin’s voice. Ezra shifted slightly. Vin recognized the posture. It reminded him of being in the army and soldiers standing at attention. He acts like bracin’ himself for being dressed down.

"I realize this is not what you were expecting to hear, and that now knowing the full story, you may wish to discontinue our current association. It is understandable that a man of your character, someone forthright, honorable, and well respected in the community, would not wish to associate with someone who engaged in what amounts to the world’s oldest profession. I should have fully disclosed my past before allowing this…liaison…to proceed. It was my fault, Mr. Tanner. Entirely mine. I must apologize--"

"No. Stop. No. Ez, I don’t think ya do understand at all." Mr. Tanner? Aw hell. He’s pullin’ away from me jus’ sittin’ there. No. That ain’t gonna happen. Waited too long ta get close. Not gonna lose that now. Ain’t ending anything!

Vin scooted over to the edge of the bed, ignoring the brief flare of pain from his leg. He reached out to grab both of Ezra’s hands, halting the gambler’s move to rise. "Just surprised me. That’s all. I don’t want to call it quits. Never want to do that."

Ezra raised one eyebrow in a blatant look of disbelief. "Please, don’t lie to me. Sparing my feelings, at the expense of your conscience, is not only stupid, but useless as well. The look on your face was rather telling. You were clearly distraught."

Distraught? Hell, I was pissed. Still am. "I ain’t lying, Ez." Vin tightened his grip when Ezra would have pulled away. "Okay fine…I wasn’t just surprised. I was mad as hell too. I wanna kill Maude for doing that to you."

Ezra stared at him in open-mouthed amazement. That was obviously not what he was expecting Vin to say. "What she did, Ez, was wrong. Big time wrong. Know she’s yer mother, and ya lover her, but it wasn’t right. And yer not ta blame for that. You were a kid for God’s sake!"

Ezra looked down and away. Vin placed a knuckle under Ezra’s chin, gently forcing him to look up and make eye contact. "Ya didn’t do anythin’ wrong. An’ I don’t think any less o’ ya. Yer mother shoulda been looking out for you, not offering you up like a newborn lamb ta a hungry mountain lion."

Green eyes were pensive. "Not every one would see it that way. Most would tend to view me as…shop worn. Damaged goods. Soiled. Unworthy of forming a lasting associating with a man of integrity, such as yourself."

"Yeah, well, I ain’t everyone." Vin softly caressed one prominent cheekbone, trying to erase the shame and embarrassment that lightly stained it. "My life weren’t no bed o’ roses, Ez. I don’t judge. Got no right to. I love you. Nothin’ that happened ‘fore I met you is gonna change that. Nothing."

Ezra still looked uncertain. Trying a different track, Vin asked several quick questions. "You think less o’ the workin’ girls here in town? Think they shouldn’t be allowed ta walk the street like everybody else? Should be treated with less respect than any other lady?"

"Of course not." Ezra snapped, clearly offended by the very idea.

Vin nodded. It was the answer he expected. Ezra treated every woman with a certain amount of respect and courtesy. He seemed to show a natural deference to them, no matter what their age, status or occupation. "Well, if they ain’t any less, doin’ what they do…why would you be, for doin’ what ya didn’t have any say in, when you were a kid?"

Ezra hung his head. He sat very still for several minutes. "You realize that not everyone shares that view?"

Vin shrugged. "So? Some people are idiots. No help fer that."

Ezra chuckled weakly. He when he looked up he smiled, tension suddenly easing out of him. He leaned forward and kissed Vin. "Have I told you, Vin Tanner, that I love you?"

Vin grinned. "Not today."

"I love you, Vin."

"Love you too, Ez."

Vin tugged on Ezra’s wrist. "Come sit with me." Vin slid back from the edge of the bed, careful not to move his wounded leg the wrong way, and inviting Ezra to follow. The gambler followed, letting Vin cradle him against his chest.

Ezra settled in with a soft sigh. "There is more. I haven’t really explained anything."

"Don’t need to know." Vin said firmly. Not gonna ask for anymore. Shoulda known ta let it lay buried. Man shouldn’t be forced inta tellin’ people about stuff like that. Ought ta be allowed to pick his own time and place.

"Yes, you do need to know." Ezra rested his head tiredly on Vin’s shoulder. "My behavior last night will make no sense without a full explanation. And I owe you that much."

"You don’t owe me anything."

Ezra settled more deeply into Vin’s arms. "I would like for you to know. I really am tired of caring around so many secrets."

Vin hesitated for a second. He vaguely remembered something Nettie had said once. Shared joy is doubled, shared pain is halved. "Sometimes a burden is a lot easier ta carry if ya ain’t got ta carry it alone."

Ezra nodded his head against Vin’s shoulder. "Exactly."

Vin took a deep breath. "Okay then. If you wanna tell me, I won’t stop you. But I’m not forcin’ ya to either. I’ll carry as much as ya ask me to."

"Fair enough." Ezra captured one of Vin’s hands, and intertwined their fingers. "What I told you of my time aboard the Esmerelda was for the most part true. SinJin did take the time to teach me about sailing. I did learn the fine art of navigation, astronomy and higher mathematics. He took me under his wing, and his protection."

"SinJin was good to me, Vin. Far better than any of the relatives Mother saw fit to abandon me to. Many of them would rather have left me to starve if they thought they could get away with it. And all were rather heavy handed in their discipline. Long before I’d met Gabriel St. John, I learned to be wary of people getting within arms reach. Because letting them get that close, meant I might well be in danger. With SinJin, that was never really a concern. It was perhaps the first time in my life when I didn’t need to fear the back of a large man’s hand or his belt."

Vin frowned, not sure what to think. No wonder he don’t like people getting too close. Can’t say I’d blame him. Sounds like people either wanted ta hit him or…screw him. I’d be mighty damn skittish too. Hell, I don’t like people getting too close for some o’ the same reasons. But it ain’t like this SinJin did him any favors. Man was jus’ as bad as his relatives. Maybe worse.

"Sounds almost like you liked this guy." It took a lot of effort for Vin to keep his tone neutral.

"I did like him." Ezra sighed heavily. "And in many ways that made it far more difficult. It might have been a lot easier to deal with if I had simply hated the man."

Ezra cleared his throat. "I know this doesn’t make any sense, but SinJin was someone I honestly liked, and genuinely respected. In truth, I was, at times, in awe of the man. He was the first adult I’d ever met who seemed to take an active interest in me. He didn’t see me as an annoyance, or a burden, or a whipping boy. But like everything, there was a price to be paid."

Vin bit down hard on his tongue to keep from speaking, not wanting to interrupt. Bein’ treated decent shouldn’t cost you, Ezra. Shouldn’t be a price tag on bein’ treated like a person. Damn that man. And damn Maude right along with ‘im.

Ezra’s free hand rose to rub at his eyes. "With no more than a simple gesture, or a certain word, he could strip me of my identity. It took no effort at all, and I was reduced to little more than an object. I was relegated to the status of a toy, or a pet, he kept on board for his amusement. Whatever I might have learned, what other skills I might lay claim to, suddenly had no value. And served no purpose. I might have been learning how to operate a sailing vessel, but there was no one aboard who didn’t know my true place, or my real worth. It was the relative ease with which I could be discounted, that made my time there far from ideal."

Vin squeezed Ezra’s hand trying to offer support through that contact. Ezra squeezed back, and then took a deep breath. "I really had no choice in the matter. Could do nothing to stop it. And I was…at times…afraid to even consider doing so."

"Afraid?" Vin didn’t like the sound of that. "Thought ya said he treated ya good?"

Ezra looked down. "Yes, well, he did. But SinJin could have put me off the ship at any time, leaving me stranded. It would not have been prudent to risk his displeasure. My life was not my own. Powerless doesn’t even begin to describe the feeling."

Vin flashed back to what Ezra had said last night. Kept talking about it being his choice. That his life was his own now. Think I get that. Understand why he reacted so badly ta Josiah. He said all it took was a word, a gesture, ta put him in his place. A place he didn’t want ta be, but couldn’t get outta either. Damn you, Josiah. All you had ta do was keep yer hands to yerself. Vin shook off his thoughts. Ezra was still talking.

"We set sail the same night Mother handed me over to SinJin. The entire crew knew why I was there. Not one would have helped me, even if I had been so foolish as to ask for assistance. I knew the moment I stepped aboard that not one would challenge the captain. I was very much alone, and on my own." Ezra shivered, and Vin pulled him closer.

"Even at so young an age, I was sufficiently astute to recognize the futility of jumping ship. There were places far worse than the Esmerelda. And in a foreign port, not knowing the language, and having no money, there was little I would be able to do to support myself." Ezra snorted disdainfully. "Or rather little I could do that I wasn’t already doing. At least with SinJin, I knew what was expected of me. And there was far less danger of suffering injury."

"He ever hurt you?" Vin asked quietly, wishing he could find this man, and stake him naked in the sun, until his skin turned purple and split like an over ripe tomato.

"Not intentionally."

"That ain’t the same as no." Vin pointed out, not willing to let this go.

"True." Ezra bit his lip. "He hurt me only once. I don’t think he meant to because it never happened again. SinJin was surprisingly gentle and patient. Something I am still grateful for."

"Grateful?" Vin wondered about that. What the hell is there to be grateful for? Man deserves a kick in the teeth. Ain’t right what he did. Don’t give a shit if the man was nice about it. It’s still wrong.

"Perhaps, gratitude is the wrong word. I’m not certain what would be truly appropriate." Ezra turned slightly, so he could fully look at Vin. "You have to understand, that had he wanted to, SinJin could have beaten me bloody, starved me, showered countless abuses, great and small, upon my person. By all rights, I was his to do with as he pleased. No one would have raised a hand to stop him. Although, he chose to label my position as an indentured servant, and treated me accordingly for most of the time, I was in actuality, as much a slave as Mr. Jackson once was."

Ezra smiled wanly. "Survival depends on being able to handle the good with the bad. And many times, it is a matter of simply ensuring there is more good, than bad, that one must tolerate." Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "While it was not my choice to be there, or within my power to do anything about my lot…I was usually well fed, and had a warm, comfortable place to sleep. I had a place where I belonged, where I fit in. I was learning things that would prove useful in the future. And SinJin promised me my freedom after six years. He was a man of his word, and I have no doubt that he would have kept that promise."

Ezra sighed. "I lived for the day when I could take control of my life. I vowed, I would never be in that situation again. That it would be my skills and knowledge that would see me through. In the future, I would never be so lacking in funds, or so deeply indebted, that my body must serve as currency. I would never be so totally at the mercy of another’s whim. And to date, I have never failed to keep that promise."

Ezra hung his head for a moment before looking up to make eye contact again. "After the ship when down, I really was free. Ezra Standish was reborn. He was never even on a ship. He never knew far too much at too young an age. It was like starting over with a clean slate. Unfortunately, my history came with me. And occasionally refuses to stay dead and buried where it belongs."

"Josiah reminds you of SinJin?" Vin’s question came out as more of a statement, but Ezra answered it anyway.

Ezra nodded. "SinJin was not as physically as large a man as Josiah, but he did have a similar presence. The same deep voice, and they share many of the same mannerisms. Sometimes, when he catches me off guard…when I am less in control of my faculties as I was last night…well, it brings memories to the forefront I would prefer to leave in the shadows."

Vin swallowed hard, suddenly worried that he might be responsible for similar transgressions. The last thing he wanted was to cause Ezra pain. "Do the things we do…together…do they bring up bad memories for you?"

Ezra looked at him in stunned amazement. "No. Never. It isn’t the same, Vin. It’s not even close." Ezra released Vin’s hand, and turned so he could raise both of his hands to cup Vin’s face. When he spoke his voice as a soft, almost reverent whisper. "You and I…we are friends. We are equals. Adults. I am not property to you."

He kissed Vin’s right cheek. "I have come to you freely." He kissed Vin’s left cheek. "I have chosen you." He tipped Vin’s head slightly to place a kiss on his forehead. "You have chosen me. Accepted my faults and foibles without condition." He placed a kiss on the tip of Vin’s nose. "You make me whole. With you, I am content. I love you."

Vin was warmed right down to his toes by what Ezra had said. He was reassured by Ezra’s words. But he needed to be positive. This was too important to get wrong. "The things you teach me…the lessons in how to love a man…they are things he made you do. Things that he DID to you."

Ezra smiled warmly at him. "Where, when, how, and who I learned it from is immaterial. It doesn’t matter." He must have seen something on Vin’s face, because Ezra continued. "I don’t see him when we are together. I never have, nor do I ever expect to. You are, as I said, a unique individual. There is nothing, and no one, with which I can compare you to."

He hugged Vin to him. "If it helps, you can think of it as being the same as my teaching you to read. It doesn’t matter who taught me or when I learned. Only that I know it well enough to teach you."

"But you’ve been havin’ nightmares."

"Not about us." Ezra pulled away slightly. "At least, not the way you mean. My nightmares were about being alone again. At someone else’s mercy. Being terrified of saying or doing the wrong thing. About loosing my place here. Loosing you. Somewhere in my mind that got twisted." Ezra held up his hands, fingers interwoven to illustrate his point. "Past and present got jumbled. Old fears, new circumstances."

Vin nodded. He could understand that. He’d had it happen to him as well. Old demons seldom simply went away. They often reappeared in a new guise.

"So last night?" Vin let the question hang, waiting for an answer.

Ezra cocked his head to one side, eyes focused on the far wall, but not really looking at it. "Last night, I don’t think I was asleep…it was more like being caught in that twilight that exists between being truly awake, and genuinely asleep. Does that makes sense?"

Vin nodded. "Yeah. I get that. Been there once or twice." Vin had been so tired on more than one occasion, that he wasn’t sure at what point he stopped being awake. He’d found himself back in his bedroll, or his wagon, wondering how he’d gotten there. He had to have walked the distance but he didn’t remember doing it.

"When Mr. Sanchez put his hand on my shoulder, and said ‘son’," Ezra winced, "It wasn’t him I heard. And it wasn’t him I was seeing. The apparition I did see, had a rather drastic, and disastrous effect."

"SinJin."

"Yes." Ezra looked away, his expression guilty. "I’d been avoiding Mr. Sanchez for days. I knew my grip on my temper was tenuous at best. I had not slept well for several days, and the nightmares left me rather unsettled. I was afraid that something like last night would happen. He just didn’t understand, and without telling him all this, I wasn’t sure he would ever understand."

"So what are ya plannin’ ta tell ‘em?" Vin’s eyes narrowed in concern. He didn’t like the idea of Ezra having to rehash this for the others. It was bad enough the gambler felt he had to tell Vin. "You don’t have to say anything at all, if you don’t want to. This isn’t any o’ there business."

Ezra’s expression turned rueful. "I rather made it their business last night by nearly killing Josiah."

Vin snorted. "Ask me, he deserved it."

Ezra looked at him in surprise. "He didn’t do anything wrong."

"Bullshit." Vin declared firmly. "He shoulda never disrespected yer wishes like that. Wouldn’t have been a problem if he’d have jus’ done like ya asked him to. If he’d kept his hands ta himself none o’ this would have happened. Ya must have told him more’n a dozen times not ta call ya ‘son’, and not ta manhandle ya. He should have just done like ya asked. Shouldn’t have needed an explanation. Nobody else has ta give one when they don’t like somethin’, no reason you should either."

Ezra tipped his head slightly, conceding Vin’s point. "Be that as it may, the situation has been exacerbated, and I no longer have a choice in the matter. Mr. Larabee has demanded an explanation, and I am in no position to deny him."

Vin grinned. "Yeah, but he said ya could decide how much ta tell him." Vin hugged Ezra. "He was jus’ worried. All he needs ta know is that it ain’t gonna happen again. Don’t need ta know the whole story for that."

Ezra nodded. "I hadn’t…hadn’t planned to tell them as much as I’ve just shared with you." Ezra shuddered. "I really don’t think I could bring myself to divulge all of this to them. Perhaps, a carefully edited version would be sufficient."

"Like what?"

Ezra raised a finger to tap it against his lip as he thought. "None of the paternal figures in my life were what one would call a positive influence." Ezra grimaced. "Far from it. However, they served me well enough, I suppose, by being bad examples."

"So you jus’ tell ‘em that Josiah reminds ya of these bad types. That ‘cause you were exhausted, sort o’ sleepin’ in the chair, havin’ a nightmare, him touchin’ you and callin’ you son sort o’ set you off?"

Ezra cocked his head to one side, considering Vin’s suggestion. "It would be the truth, in so far as it went."

Vin knew that Ezra rarely lied out right. He omitted details, or phrased things a certain way so as to encourage a certain assumption, but he didn’t tell untruths. "Ya think that’ll be enough?"

Ezra shrugged, his expression thoughtful. "Too many parameters to accurately predict any probable outcome."

"English, Ez. English."

Ezra chuckled. "I have no idea if it will be enough. I don’t have enough information to say for certain how they will react. There is no way to lay odds on this. But, it is a gamble I believe worth risking."

Vin nodded. "Okay. We got a plan."

Ezra looked at him, green eyes twinkling with a bit of humor. "Our plans have never been what one would call fool proof."

"That’s just cause we are surrounded by so many fools."

Ezra laughed lightly, and hugged Vin hard. He placed a quick kiss on Vin’s mouth before pulling away. "Hey, where are ya goin’?" Vin protested. He wanted more than that. He wanted to cuddle all morning.

"I still have patrol." Ezra answered. He glanced toward the window through which faint rays of sunlight was now streaming. "I am late."

Vin knew there was no arguing. They both took their duties very seriously. Too many people counted on them to do any less. "When ya wanna talk to the others?"

Ezra considered it for a moment. "When I return from my shift. Mr. Larabee will likely not be willing to wait much longer than that. I suspect that Mr. Wilmington and Mr. Sanchez will probably not show much more patience, in this case, than our illustrious leader."

"We do it here." Vin declared, his tone clearly making that decision final. He knew if Nathan had his way, he wasn’t going to get out of this room for awhile, and there was no way he was going to let Ezra face the others alone. Gotta be there ta make sure things go okay. And ta back him up if they don’t.

"Agreed." Ezra nodded. Before Vin could say anything, Ezra kissed him again. "Stay here. In bed, like you are supposed to. I’ll send someone by with your breakfast." And just that quick Ezra was out the door.

Vin cursed softly. He had wanted to spend a leisurely morning in bed with Ezra. "So much for that plan. Goddamn fools messin’ it up again."

He settled in to wait for whoever Ezra drafted into bringing him food. He hoped they didn’t take too long. He was hungry, and if it took too long, well he’d just go get his own breakfast.

*******

Chris glanced up when the jail door opened. He’s just shooed JD out a few minutes ago, sending the younger man off to get some sleep. Chris had expected working all night to leave JD a little ragged, a bit bleary eyed, but other than the faint shadows under his eyes, JD seemed his usual energetic self. Chris found that mildly annoying. He didn’t think anyone should look that chipper after being awake all night. It just wasn’t natural.

He was half expecting the young sheriff to return telling him he’d forgotten something. Chris blinked when instead of JD, he saw it was Ezra walking through the door. What is he….aw hell; I forgot to reassign morning shift. Course, I did sort o’ have other things on my mind, but I still should have taken care of that.

Chris glanced at the clock. Ezra was only fifteen minutes late. That would be something of a record for the wily cardsharp. He was habitually late when it came to showing up for a morning patrol. That habit, was one of the reasons, Chris had found it easier to just assign the man the midnight to morning shift. But to his credit, no matter what shift he’d been assigned, Ezra hadn’t shirked his duty once. Late, definitely. Totally absent, never. Chris was somewhat impressed that the man was only fifteen minutes late. Hell, I am amazed he remember ta show up at all given how crazy things got last night.

Chris eyed the gambler, giving him a once over. Must have gotten a good night’s sleep. His color is one hell of a lot better than it was yesterday. Seeing him now, Chris realized just how pale and worn out the man had been. Damn Larabee, you have got to start paying more attention here. Can’t keep overlooking the obvious. If I had been more on the ball, last night might not have happened at all.

Chris shivered thinking about just how quickly things had gotten out of control. It had all happened so fast. He still needed answers as to why it had happened at all. He never wanted to be in that position again, contemplating shooting one friend to save another. It scared him to think just how close they had come to a tragic ending. His eyes narrowed taking a closer look at Ezra.

Ezra raised an eyebrow, silently asking Chris about his careful perusal. Not receiving an answer, Ezra spread his arms and turned slowly in place, eyes twinkling with inner amusement even though is expression remained decidedly neutral. "Do I pass muster?"

Chris snorted, and rolled his eyes. He was pleased Ezra seemed to have regained more than just his color. His sense of humor, and smart mouth, were also back in place. Chris relaxed. He’d get his answers soon enough, there was no point in pushing it.

He offered Ezra a cup of coffee. "How’s Vin?"

Ezra smiled slightly, taking a sip from his cup before answering. "Mr. Tanner is as well as can be expected when one has a bullet hole in one’s leg. He had a restful night, which I believe, can only assist in his recovery."

"Mr. Tanner…", Ezra cleared his throat, "That is to say, Vin and I, are decidedly grateful to you for arranging such favorable accommodations." He saluted Chris with his cup. "I was not certain, I would have been able to secure an acceptable solution so handily, had you not chosen to offer assistance in the matter, in such a timely manner."

Chris nodded, accepting the statement of gratitude, not sure for a moment what to say. It wasn’t something he’d been expecting from Ezra. The gambler had rarely, if ever, said thank you to him. Chris sighed silently when he realized there was little he’d done to warrant receiving thanks from Ezra.

Chris shrugged one shoulder, trying for casual. If he over played this, he’d just embarrass both of them. "Yeah, well, I didn’t see any reason for him ta stay at the clinic. Vin would have probably killed himself trying to escape from Nathan’s."

Chris grimaced at the thought of Vin trying to sneak down a flight of stairs, and up to Ezra’s room, when he could barely walk. He knew there was no way in hell Vin would have stayed in the clinic. And Chris honestly couldn’t blame him. If he had spent four days away from Sarah, Chris would have crawled through town on his hands and knees to be able to spend the night with her. Nothing, and no one, would have stopped him. Chris no longer doubted that Vin was just as devoted to Ezra as he’d been to his wife.

Ezra smiled slightly, and clucked his tongue. "Yes, Vin can be rather determined about not being confined against his wishes."

Chris pursed his lips. "That’s one way o’ puttin’ it." Talk about an under statement. Man is a little determined about the way water is a little wet.

Ezra merely raised an eyebrow, but didn’t offer further comment. Chris got the distinct impression that every thought he’d just had was easily read by Ezra. It was unnerving to know he wasn’t even a book where the gambler was concerned. Ezra tipped his head toward Chris with a sly smile. Little bastard is too smart for his own good.

"I trust you found your alternative lodgings to be satisfactory."

Chris smiled slightly. "Can see why ya don’t like getting up in the mornings." Ezra’s feather bed was the most comfortable thing he’d ever slept on. Chris had given serious thought to getting one of his own. "That bed o’ yours is mighty nice."

Ezra flashed a quick grin, dimples showing briefly. "Do not get to used to such comfort, Mr. Larabee. I will be needing my quarters back in due time."

Chris nodded. "Figured you might."

The gunslinger shifted in his chair, settling into a comfortable slouch. He cast a quick glance toward the still sleeping rustler in his cell. Chris didn’t know the man’s name, and he realized he didn’t much care. Hmmm…names. Funny…just noticed that Ezra seems comfortable referring to Vin by his first name. I haven’t heard him do that much ‘fore now. Guess he didn’t feel like he ought to be too familiar when I still had my head up my ass ‘bout them being together. Wonder how long it will take for him to call me Chris?

Chris shook of his thoughts and looked at Ezra again. "Vin awake, yet?"

"Of course. He seems disinclined to appreciate the concept of greeting the day at a leisurely pace." There was an easily discernable note of annoyance in that last statement.

Chris chuckled. He’d have been worried if Vin was still asleep. "Sleep past six ya missed half the morning, Ezra."

Ezra rolled his eyes. "I miss nothing."

Chris grinned at Ezra’s assertion. Most days, he probably wasn’t wrong, but having lived so much of his life in the storm, Chris had a real appreciation for the calm. And he had found the calmest part of the day was before the rest of the town was up and moving.

"You almost missed your shift." Chris felt obligated to point out.

"I was…unavoidably detained." The shadows that suddenly appeared in Ezra’s eyes, made Chris instantly regret he’d said anything. Ezra took a breath, and just that quick, the haunted look was gone, replaced by one of calm unconcern. Never gonna get used to seeing him do that. Ain’t natural for a man ta go from looking like I kicked him in the gut, to looking as unruffled as a sleeping cat, all in the blink of an eye.

Ezra smiled, no trace of his disquiet visible. "I stopped by the restaurant on my way here, and requested breakfast to be sent to Vin. I would greatly appreciate it, if you could see your way clear to ensure that he not only gets it, but that he eats it as well. He will likely need someone to prevent any hasty or unwise decision to be up and around today."

Chris nodded. "I’ll see to it." He wanted to talk to Vin anyway. The tracker likely had some of the answers he needed. Might be easier to get ‘em from Vin than from Ezra. And I know ordering Vin’s breakfast isn’t the reason Ezra was late…or at least not the only reason.

Ezra eyed him for a moment. Chris wasn’t sure what to make of the scrutiny. He was ready to ask when Ezra casually finished his coffee, and returned his cup to it’s place near the stove. "Did Mr. Jackson make it back last night?"

Chris shook his head, caught momentarily off guard by the subject change, but willing to go with it. "Haven’t seen him. JD said Nate’s horse wasn’t in the livery yet, when he did his last round."

Ezra nodded, his expression resigned. "I have a horrible feeling that does not bode well for Mrs. Cavanaugh or the little one she carried."

Chris winced. He’d been in the saloon when Josh had come looking for Nathan. "Yeah. Me too."

"I shall take the route past the Cavanaugh place, and see if Mr. Jackson has need of anything."

"Sounds like a good idea." Swinging past the Cavanaugh homestead was one of the shorter patrol routes, so Ezra should be back in town by noon at the latest. Got a feeling Vin might need more than me ta ride herd on him, and it would be best if Ezra were around ta do that. ‘Sides, don’t want him out too long.

Ezra turned to go. He hesitated for just a moment at the door, before turning back to face Chris. He squared his shoulders. "When I return from patrol, if that time is convenient for you, I will make myself available to answer your questions."

Chris nodded slowly, barely covering his astonishment at Ezra’s statement. He hadn’t honestly expected Ezra to be ready to talk so quickly. Nor had he expected him to offer. Chris had envisioned the need to corner the man and pull answers from him like a dentist pulled teeth. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to, but still something that he knew was necessary.

I don’t think I’d have volunteered as quickly if it were me. Chris mentally snorted at that assessment. There was a time when he knew, if he were in the same position, he would fight tooth and nail the whole idea of explaining anything of his past. Particularly anything that gave him waking nightmares. Was a time Ezra would have fought too. No…not fight. He’d have just left. Didn’t used to have anything to hold him here, and now he does.

"That should be fine, Ezra." Chris kept his tone even. "I told you I’d give you some time. I meant that. If you decide you need more time, just say so."

Ezra cocked his head to one side, his sharp eyes studying Chris closely. Chris couldn’t even begin to guess what it was the gambler was looking for, or what it was he saw that made him smile suddenly, a brief flash of warm appreciation that quickly vanished. The gunslinger wondered if he should be worried.

"Today will be fine, Mr. Larabee. Oh, and Vin has requested that he also be present. He was rather emphatic on that point."

Chris wasn’t surprised. "Figured as much." Means we’ll be havin’ this little discussion in my room. Sort of doubt Nate will be too keen on lettin’ Vin run around any time soon. Guess it’s fitting, since that’s where all this got started.

Ezra hesitated for a moment. He seemed to be weighing something carefully. He nodded once to himself. Green eyes met and held Chris’ dark blue-gray counterparts.

"If you intend to discuss my….momentary lapse of reason with Vin, feel free to do so." Ezra bit his lower lip, glancing away and then back. "And please, make it plain to him, that I have no objections to his seeking your counsel."

Ezra’s lips quirked briefly into a half smile, but there was little humor in his expression. "Vin and I delved into some rather…ah…weighty subjects this morning. When you join him for breakfast…he may feel the need to unburden himself. Or perhaps, he may wish to simply seek the guidance of a good friend. Knowing Vin, he will likely hesitate to do so out of respect for my privacy, or a misplaced sense of obligation."

Ezra sighed softly. "It was not my intention to leave him without an outlet or recourse. I would be grateful, if you would relay to him that I trust him implicitly, and that I have no objection to his discussing anything I told him with you."

Chris frowned. Whatever Vin and Ezra had talked about in private should probably stay private. He’d had every intention of talking to Vin about last night, and Chris got the feeling that Ezra might have somehow read that decision in his face. He wasn’t sure if the cardsharp felt obligated to give his permission, thinking he had no choice in the matter.

"You sure?" Chris found he didn’t particularly like the idea that he might have just made Ezra feel cornered. He wanted answers, but he didn’t really want to alienate the gambler to get them. He was just starting to find common ground with the man. He didn’t really want to mess that up. "I can wait until you get back."

"It is not for you that I make this offer, but to you." Ezra carefully emphasized the difference, and looking at him with something akin to amusement shining brightly in his eyes.

Okay. Now, I’m lost. "Excuse me?"

"In what may prove to be an ill-timed moment of weakness, I opted to share with Vin a burden. It was something I have carried alone for a very long time." Ezra’s expression turned rueful. "I have had time to come terms with it. Years, in fact."

He made a movement with one shoulder, which was far too graceful and precise to be considered a shrug. "Vin, on the other hand, has only learned of it today. I would be greatly surprised, if he did not feel the need to talk about the issue with someone, if for no other reason than to find a way to process the information I saw fit to share. You will likely be his first choice, and I can think of no one better than you to assist him."

Chris stared at Ezra. "Me?"

Ezra smiled. "You."

"Why me?"

Ezra chuckled softly. "Because he trusts you. And, I find, I can not fault him for doing so." He raised two fingers to the brim of his had, and was out the door before Chris could reply.

Chris pondered what Ezra had said for several minutes. He can’t fault Vin for trusting me. Does that mean Ezra trusts me? Or does he just think I’m trustworthy where Vin’s concerned? And just what the hell could he have told Vin that he’d need to talk to me about?

Chris shook his head. He sighed. Now might just be the best time to go check and see if Vin’s breakfast was ready. He really wanted to talk to the tracker. Vin could shed some light on this, of that he was certain.

He glanced at the prisoner. The man was still dealing with a broken leg, and locked in a cell. Not like someone has to sit here and baby sit him. From the way he’s still sawing logs the man won’t be awake for another couple of hours. Chris nodded, mind made up. He stood up and headed for the restaurant.

Mrs. Anders was just finishing with Vin’s tray was ready as Chris walked in. He smiled, and tipped his hat to her. "Ma’am, if you wanna just put two of everything on that, I’ll take it over for you."

She smiled up at him. "No need, Mr. Larabee. Mr. Standish placed an order for both of you. He said you’d be by to bring this to Mr. Tanner. I’ve already put a plate on for each of you."

Chris resisted the urge to glare at the woman. That little bastard really can read me. Knew I’d be over here before I knew I’d be here. Jus’ what the hell would he have done if I hadn’t planned on meeting up with Vin this morning? Chris wondered if he should worry about being predictable.

She wiped her hands on her apron, before offering the tray to Chris. "I hope Mr. Tanner is feeling better this morning." She clucked her tongue. "Poor dear, laid up that way. Must be terribly frustrating for him."

She smiled at him brightly, a bit of color on her cheeks. "Tell him I’ll see what I can do about making a peach cobbler for him. I know how much he enjoys it." She clucked her tongue again, a small frown forming between her brows. "And as skinny as he his, he could do with a few good meals. That boy simply doesn’t eat enough."

Chris smiled, having seen Vin pack away as much food as Buck did. He couldn’t begin to fathom how much food it would take to fatten up the lean sharpshooter. And he’d bet anything this matronly woman was sweet on the tracker. Hell, half the women in town are probably sweet on him if the truth were known.

"And Mr. Standish could do with eating more as well." She shook her head. "I don’t think he had breakfast yet himself. Told me he’d eat later. Didn’t want to bother me. Bah. As if making something for him would be a bother. Honestly, he doesn’t eat enough to keep a bird alive."

Chris couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at that. Maybe she’s sweet on Ez too. Mrs. Anders made a shooing motion with her hands. "Off with you now, before that gets cold. Mr. Tanner is waiting for his breakfast, and it wouldn’t do to let him wait to long." Her order sounded more like something that should be directed at an errant schoolboy than a hardened man most people were either afraid of or awed by.

Chris left. Good Lord. Big, bad, gunslinger, ordered about by a woman half my size and twice my age. He grinned, finding the whole situation amusing and comforting at the same time. It was nice to live where people weren’t always afraid of him. He’d forgotten what that was like.

He was careful to knock on the door, and announce himself, before he dared enter. Vin could be just as quick to shoot as Ezra when it came to handling unwelcome guests. Chris didn’t like surprises either, and had been known to greet more than one over eager visitor with the business end of his gun. It tended to keep people from bothering him about trivial things.

Being cautious had kept most of the seven alive long enough to make a habit of it. Only JD could lay claim to anything that resembled a naïve faith in their fellow man, and he’d already lost some of that since becoming sheriff. Chris didn’t necessarily see it as a bad thing. He wanted the younger men that rode with him to have the chance to live long lives, and out west, the only way to do that was to hope for the best, and expect the worst.

"You bring me breakfast?" Vin called from with in.

"Yeah."

"Then quit dawdling, and get in here with it."

Chris rolled his eyes, carefully balancing the tray of food with one hand, and opening the door with the other. Vin was propped up in bed, gun causally pointed toward the door, held ready, but not threatening Chris. Vin put the gun on the floor once he was sure Chris was alone, and motioned toward the chair.

"What’d ya bring me?"

"I don’t know. Mrs. Anders said Ezra placed the order."

Vin eyed the tray, sizing it up carefully. "There enough for both of us?"

"Looks that way."

Vin smiled. "Good."

Chris sat down. He put the tray on the nightstand, and removed the gingham cloth Mrs. Anders had covered it with. He knew immediately which plate was Vin’s. It was loaded with scrambled eggs, a thick slice of ham, several pieces of bacon, and grits. Chris hated grits, although, he hadn’t realized Ezra knew that. The other plate had eggs, ham, and fried potatoes. A smaller plate held several slices of lightly toasted bread, heavily buttered. A small teapot and two cups also sat neatly in the center of the tray.

"Tea?" Vin raised an eyebrow. He didn’t look to eager to find out.

Chris lifted the lid, and sniffed cautiously. "Coffee. Reckon she put it in the teapot ‘cause it fits better on the tray than a coffee pot would have."

"Pour me a cup, will ya, Cowboy?" Vin had already started digging in to his plate of food with the eagerness he typically showed. He snatched up a piece of toast as well.

It never failed to amaze the gunslinger how quickly Vin could make food disappear. He was always neat about it, but never slow. The tracker ate with a single-minded determination, almost as if he were afraid that if he didn’t eat it now, someone might just take it away from him. Chris wondered if at some point in Vin’s past that fear had a basis in fact.

Chris ate his own meal at a leisurely pace, occasionally sipping from his cup of coffee. He studied Vin. He’d seen his share of wounded men over the years, and it didn’t take him long to size up his friend. There were no obvious signs of pain or sickness, although, Chris was pretty sure Vin felt a twinge now and again. Can’t have a hole in your leg and not feel it. But he looks like he had a good night.

Vin grinned at him, blue eyes twinkling. "I pass muster?"

Chris shook his head, amused. "That was the same thing Ezra said to me this mornin’."

"You give him the same once over ya just gave me?" The question was mildly curious, not offended or hostile.

"Yep." Chris sipped his coffee. "Looks a damn sight better than he did yesterday. Must have gotten some rest."

Vin nodded. "He did." Vin paused for a moment. "He wasn’t sleepin’ so good while we were away."

"Same way you didn’t sleep well?" Chris was aware of how restless the tracker had been the whole time they were gone.

"Not the same." Vin frowned. "Nightmares."

Chris nodded. He’d more than his share of those over the years. Somehow he never really expected someone who acted as unaffected as Ezra to suffer from them. Guess I really don’t know him as well as I thought I did. Not exactly new information, now is it, Larabee?

"Bad?"

Vin just looked at him. It was enough to let Chris know he didn’t need to ask anymore. It had been a stupid question anyway. Who has good nightmares, for crying out loud?

"Those nightmares have anythin’ to do with last night?"

"Some." Vin looked away. He put his now empty plate on the nearby tray, and picked up the cup of coffee Chris had poured earlier. He took a long sip. His expression was hesitant, and uncertain.

"When Ezra stopped by the jail earlier, he said he’d talked to you already. Said you might need to talk about what he told you." Chris knew Ezra had been right. Without being given permission to discuss it, Vin wouldn’t talk, even though the look on his face clearly said he wanted to.

"Ezra told me to tell you that he trusts you. Implicitly." Vin looked at him sharply. Chris had used the last word deliberately, knowing Vin would recognize it as something Ezra would say. "He said it was not his intention to leave you without recourse or outlet. He wanted me to tell you that could talk to me if you wanted to. He didn’t have any objections to you seeking my counsel or asking my advice."

Vin’s lips quirked up slightly in a half smile. "Memorize that, did ya?"

Chris lightly cuffed Vin’s jaw. "Damn near."

Vin slide down a bit, and settled into the pillows behind him. He sighed quietly. "Don’t even know where to start, Cowboy. "

"Beginning is usually good."

Vin rolled his eyes, and shot a dirty look at Chris. "Thanks. You’re a big help."

Chris put his empty plate on the tray a top of Vin’s, and filled his cup again. He raised the pot in silent offer to Vin. The tracker held out his cup for Chris to warm up. Chris waited quietly. He would get nowhere by forcing this. Just because he’s got permission to talk doesn’t mean he will.

"You ever wonder what life was like for Ez as a kid?" Vin finally asked quietly, his eyes focused on the far wall.

Chris pursed his lips, startled by the question. It wasn’t what he was expecting, but if that was where Vin wanted to start, he’d go with it. Chris thought for a moment, taking his time to really think about the question, knowing Vin had asked it for a reason.

"Always figured he lived a pretty good life. Rich kid in the lap of luxury sort of life. Maude made it sound--"

"She lied." Vin’s tone was flat, and hard. Chris raised an eyebrow, startled by the hostility he could read in his normally laid back friend. He got the impression that Maude just might be in danger if she came to town again. Interesting. Vin’s never been the sort to even consider hurting a woman.

"Soon as he was out o’ diapers, she was passin’ him off ta anyone she could con inta takin’ him…friends, relatives, total strangers…didn’t seem ta matter ta her as long as they’d take Ezra off her hands for a few months."

Chris winced. He tried to imagine doing the same thing with Adam, and couldn’t. He’d loved his son. Adam had been the sun, moon and stars to him. He held the memories of his all to brief time with his son close to his heart as the most precious treasure he’d ever own. He could still see Adam taking his first step, saying his first words, running across the yard to greet him. Chris wouldn’t have missed those for the world. He would never have considered giving his son to another to care for or raise.

"He moved every couple o’ months, never stayin’ long enough to really call a place home." Vin sighed heavily, eyes still focused on the far wall. "Did you know, in his whole life, there’s only been one other place that he’s spent more time than he has here?"

"Damn." Chris whispered, stunned to learn that Four Corners was might well be the first home Ezra had ever known. Hell, Ezra’s only been here a little over a year! And that’s almost the longest he’s been anywhere??!! What kind o’ life is that for a child. "That had to be rough."

"Rougher than you might think." The same shadows Chris saw in Ezra’s eyes earlier were now residing in Vin’s. Chris had a feeling that didn’t bode well.

Chris eyed Vin carefully, waiting for him to offer more information. The tracker shuddered once, and seemed to shake off the darker aspects of whatever he’d been thinking. "Not everyone Maude left him with should a been around kids. Most o’ ‘em seemed to think they didn’t need ta treat him any better than a stray dog."

Chris stayed silent for several minutes, trying to read the meaning what Vin had said, and what the tracker had obviously left out. Only one real option came to mind, which would explain why Ezra kept himself physically distant. "They beat him?"

Vin nodded once, sharply. "He learned real quick not ta let people get within arms length, cause if they could reach him, they could hit him too."

Vin hesitated for a moment, biting his lower lip. Sky blue eyes met dark blue-gray. "I know Ez doesn’t want ta upset Josiah any more’n he already has. Said he’d been avoidin’ him the past few days cause he was worried something like last night jus’ might happen. He was tired, outta sorts, and didn’t want ta risk loosin’ his temper."

Vin waved one hand in a vague gesture of frustration as he fought to find the words to express himself. Chris waited patiently, letting Vin work his way through it. "What happened last night…it weren’t personal, Chris. Not really. Josiah jus’ has to learn…that he can’t keep doin’ what he’s been doin’."

Vin scowled, looking briefly vicious and almost feral. "Should never have happened in the first place." He took a breath, and waved his hand again, this time in a dismissive motion, like he was wiping a slate clean, his expression easing into something neutral, calm. "Don’t matter now. It’s done. Jus’ got ta deal with it."

"You have a plan?" Chris was fairly certain Ezra wouldn’t have left this morning without an idea of how they were going to ‘deal with it’.

Vin nodded. "We figured that if we told Josiah he reminded Ezra o’ some bad father figure types, he’d understand. Ez doesn’t have a real good history with big men tryin’ ta be his daddy. So, callin’ Ez ‘son’, and touchin’ him, ain’t as harmless as Josiah thinks. Last night jus’ brought up stuff from when Ez was a kid that he’d just as soon leave buried."

Chris rubbed gently at his temple, trying to ease the faint headache he could feel building. "Is that what happened last night?" He regarded Vin steadily. "Josiah touched him and set off bad memories?"

"More or less."

Chris raised an eyebrow. Vin was usually direct and straightforward. A mixed answer was decidedly atypical. Chris had a gut feeling the ‘more’ was what Ezra thought Vin might need to talk to him about. The shadows he’d seen in both Vin and Ezra’s eyes told him that much.

"More or less?" Chris waited a beat, but Vin didn’t say anything. "How much more?"

Vin shrugged, and looked away. He shifted restlessly, and Chris new if it were possible the tracker would be up pacing. Vin winced when he moved his wounded leg. Chris reached out and placed a hand on Vin’s leg, preventing him from moving any more. He realized it would probably be best if he directed the conversation before Vin did any damage to himself.

"The ‘more’ part…is that what Ezra meant when he said you might need to talk to me?"

Vin swallowed hard. "Yeah."

"You okay?" Chris wasn’t sure if maybe he shouldn’t just drop it. He could feel his gut tightening in dread. Got a bad feeling about this.

Vin snorted. "I don’t know." The tracker shook his head. "Been tryin’ ta wrap my mind ‘round it since Ez left this morning. Not sure I’ll ever get a good handle on it."

"Ezra said he’s had a long time to come to terms with it." Chris offered, thinking it might help Vin to know that. Whatever ‘it’ is.

Vin glared at him. His normally sky blue eyes had paled to an icy silver-white. Chris forced himself not to look away, or step back, from the rage so readily apparent in Vin’s eyes. "He never should been in that position at all. Let alone have to come to terms with it."

Vin’s tone matched the ice in his eyes. "If that sorry excuse of a mother had been less of a self-centered bitch he would never have had to—" Vin stopped abruptly, his jaw clenched so tight, Chris could see the muscles flexing beneath the skin.

Okay. Now we are getting somewhere. "Why don’t you tell me what happened? Might help."

Vin took a deep, shuddering breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, hands balled into fist rested lightly on the blankets. "Chris…when was the first time you were…ah…intimate with someone?"

Chris frowned, not sure what to make of the sudden change of subject. He sat back slightly, trying to figure out where Vin was going with this shift in focus. Hoping it would become more apparent he asked, "Intimate?"

"Yeah…you know, got more than just friendly."

Chris shrugged one shoulder. "Seventeen."

"Was she the same age?"

"No. Lilly had to be a good five or six years older than me." He smiled slightly at the memory. "I’d just left home the year before. Was finishing up my first trail drive, and the foreman thought I ought to learn a thing or two ‘bout bein’ a man. Told me there was more to life than just workin’, and he was gonna prove it to me. So, he introduced me to Lilly. She was one of the workin’ gals in town. Paid for her ta spend the night teachin’ me some of the finer points of bein’ with a woman."

Vin nodded. He chewed on his lower lip for several minutes. Just when Chris was beginning to think he’d have to force him to talk, the tracker spoke. "When Ezra was thirteen, his mother used him ta pay off a debt."

"Used him?" Chris leaned forward, sure he’d mis-heard what Vin had said, or misunderstood. The headache he felt beginning earlier was increasing.

"Yeah." Vin stared at him, eyes unwavering. "Used. Like that lady you met when you were seventeen was paid ta spend the night with ya."

Chris’ jaw dropped in surprise as he made the connection. He tightened his grip on the cup he still held, squeezing tight enough to bend it slightly. He sucked in a breath. "Thirteen? Sweet Jesus!"

"Yeah." Vin agreed softly. "Thing is…she didn’t sell him ta some woman. And it weren’t for one night."

Chris swallowed hard, suddenly wishing he hadn’t eaten so much. Vin ignored his unease and kept talking. "Seems Maude was in debt to a man who was captain of this ship. Was a man who wasn’t gonna be put off by her usual cons, and scams. He wanted what she owed him, and she didn’t have it. So, she offered him Ezra as payment."

Chris clenched his jaw shut tightly against the rising bile. He didn’t want to hear any more of this, but Vin’s soft voice was relentless. "Ezra said he’s sure she knew what the guy wanted. Wouldn’t have made the offer otherwise. Didn’t seem ta bother her none that she was makin’ a whore out o’ her own flesh and blood."

What kind of mother would do such a thing? For the love of God! He was just a child. I never thought…Christ! What kind of sick son-of-a-bitch would be attracted to a little boy?

"How--", Chris swallowed hard, trying to get his voice to work. He now understood the rage he’d seen in Vin’s eyes earlier. He took a deep breath trying to control his own murderous fury. With deliberate care he put his coffee mug down on the tray, refusing to give into the urge to throw it against the wall. Chris couldn’t quite contain the need to move, so he stood up and paced. He crossed his arms against his chest, hugging himself tightly, trying to resist the desire to break something, anything.

Chris had never liked Maude, but now he had good reason to loathe her. She knew what this man wanted, and gave him Ezra. To pay off a debt!! I’d kill anyone who’d have even suggested doing such a thing to Adam. To any child. That is…God, I can’t even find a word for it.

"I don’t understand how she could do that." He finally managed to grind out, finding it hard to even look at Vin. He didn’t want the younger man to see what he knew had to be shining in his eyes.

"Neither do I, Cowboy. Neither do I." Vin’s voice was little more than a whisper.

Vin said it was for more than one night…oh shit. "How long was Ezra—"

"Three years."

Chris stopped pacing, and closed his eyes. He felt like he’d just been kicked in the gut. God. And Ezra said Vin could tell me this! Man’s got more courage than I do. I would have never told a soul about this. He wasn’t surprised that Ezra thought Vin would need someone to talk to. Chris mentally slapped himself for briefly wishing Vin had gone to someone else, anyone else.

He didn’t even know what to do, or say. Buck’s words to Josiah from last night came back to him. ‘This. Isn’t. About. You.’ Chris took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. What he thought or felt was secondary right now. He moved slowly back to the chair, and sat down.

Chris looked at Vin. "Tell me the rest." He owed it to Vin to hear it all. He owed it to Ezra as well. The gambler wanted him to be there for Vin, had given his permission to discuss this for just that reason, and come hell or high water, Chris was not going to let either man down.

"Not much more." Vin said, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper.

Thank God.

"The guy Maude sold Ezra to—"

Chris interrupted suddenly, needing to have a name for this monster. "Who was he?"

"Ezra said his name was Gabriel St. John."

Chris filed the name away for future reference. Gonna have to find that miserable son-of-a-bitch and kill him slowly. Very slowly. Chris nodded to himself. There would be a reckoning.

"Won’t do you any good, Cowboy."

Chris looked at Vin, startled. His eyes narrowed. "What won’t do me any good?"

"Man is dead, Chris." There was a strong note of satisfaction in Vin’s voice. "He’s been dead for awhile."

Chris didn’t like the idea of being cheated out of his kill. No one hurt one of his and got away with it. No one. He and Ezra might not always be on the best of terms, but the gambler was part of his team, and Chris would make damn sure anyone who hurt him paid for it. Dearly.

"You sure he’s dead?"

Vin nodded. "Ez says he went down with the ship in a storm off the coast of North Carolina in 1861. Damn near took Ez with her when she went. Only a handful made it off. Ez says St. John saved his life and lost his own doin’ it."

Chris felt a moment of intense satisfaction at knowing St. John was dead. He also felt cheated. He wanted the bastard to die inch by inch, in agony. Chris wanted to do the same to Maude Standish, but felt momentarily disconcerted about wanting to kill a woman. There had only been one other woman who had generated that kind of blindly destructive need. He hadn’t realized that there might be another who could make him feel the same way. Don’t matter right now. I’ll deal with Maude first chance I get.

Chris made an open hand gesture toward Vin. "Finish what you were saying."

Vin looked down and away. When he looked up his expression was uncertain, hesitant. "Josiah…Josiah reminds Ezra of St. John. It’s why he reacted so badly last night."

"Aw hell." Chris shook his head. That was a bit more to deal with than Josiah simply reminding Ezra of a physically abusive father figure. A damn sight more. Can see why they didn’t want to tell Josiah that. Would upset the preacher something fierce. Not sure how if he’d be able to handle the truth.

"St. John liked ta call Ezra ‘son’. And he—"

Chris held up a hand, stopping Vin from saying anything else. "I get it." He closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose. He really wished he didn’t, but he did. "I get it."

Ezra hadn’t lost it last night until Josiah had touched him. Knowing what he now knew, Chris was impressed by the degree of restraint the gambler had shown. God…no wonder the man doesn’t want anyone getting too close. Chris shuddered, realizing that had he been in Ezra’s place he would likely have shot Josiah.

Chris looked sharply at Vin, as another thought registered. "He’s okay with the two of you?"

Vin nodded, a small smile blossoming. "That’s not a problem, Cowboy."

Chris breathed easier hearing Vin say that. Vin was head over heals in love with Ezra. Chris wasn’t sure if the tracker could handle being rejected. Ezra’s never pulled away from Vin…not once. And it was Vin he responded to last night. God…he told Vin this!

"You okay with this?"

"Would be lyin’ if I said I didn’t want ta kill Maude."

Not what I meant. Chris wasn’t sure how to word his what he was trying to ask. Not every man would be comfortable with finding out his lover had been with another, especially if it had been what amounted to a business transaction. He was well aware of the fact that not every man had a high opinion of ‘soiled doves’.

Chris knew Vin wasn’t naïve about life, or the nature of romantic involvements. He’d been with Charlotte so he’s got a history too. But it isn’t quite the same as Ezra’s. Not by a long shot. And that ain’t something every man is comfortable with, or willing ta accept. Ezra didn’t say anything this morning about Vin’s reaction other than he’d need someone to talk to.

"No…I mean, you okay with Ezra’s past? With what he…was?"

Vin’s eyes narrowed, hard and cold. "Why wouldn’t I be?" The question was soft, but there was no mistaking the challenge in it.

Chris held up both hands, palms out, showing he had meant no offense. "Ezra loves you. Would kill him if you turned your back on him over this."

"Would take a hell of a lot more than this ta make me do that."

Chris nodded, recognizing the fierce commitment, love and devotion in that statement. Good. One less thing to worry about.

Vin smiled, but there was no humor in it. Chris was momentarily glad Vin’s gun was still on the floor. "You okay with it, Cowboy?"

Chris sighed, and rubbed a hand over his face. "Wouldn’t mind getting a piece of Maude myself."

"You know that ain’t what I meant." Chris raised an eyebrow at the hard look Vin gave him. "Don’t want you treatin’ him different, Chris. He doesn’t need pity, or ta feel embarrassed. He was a kid. Ain’t to blame for the shit his mother put him through."

"Never thought he was." Chris said tightly, the muscles along his jaw twitching. He felt a flicker of anger at Vin even thinking he’d treat Ezra differently. That he might blame Ezra for what he had no control over. Fair is fair, Larabee. You pretty much asked Vin the same thing he just asked you. And face it, your track record with Ezra is far from stellar.

"Good." Vin relaxed, making Chris aware for the first time just how tense his friend had been. The tracker shook his head, looking more than a little amazed and a lot proud. "Ya know…I’m not sure I’d have been able to do what Ez did."

"Don’t know if I could have told anyone that either." Chris was still more than a little stunned that Ezra had been so forthcoming about what had to have been a very painful portion of his past. There parts of Chris’ own past he couldn’t bring himself to talk about with anyone.

"Don’t mean that." Vin waved a hand in dismissal. "He didn’t just survive, Chris." There was a note of awe in Vin’s voice. "An animal would survive…just getting by, takin’ things as they come, never thinkin’ past the moment, always reactin’ instead of actin’. He did, and still does, a damn sight more than that."

Chris took a moment to think about that. Vin’s right. A lesser man would have broken. Ez still has his heart and soul. He’s a tough little bastard. Chris suddenly had a greater appreciation for Ezra’s strength of character. A stray thought about strengthening steel with fire came to mind. His father had told him once it was adversity that made a man. It is only by testing the mettle of a man will you know what he’s made of. There was definitely more to Ezra than was readily apparent at first glance.

"Man is a lot tougher than he looks." Some of Chris’ new found respect was apparent in that statement.

"That he is, Cowboy." Vin smiled, and then sighed, his expression sobering. "But he’s still breakable, Chris."

Chris nodded. He understood what Vin was saying. It felt good to be on the same page again. "We’ll take care of him. You and me."

Vin nodded. He held out his hand, and Chris grasped his forearm in a warrior’s grip. A promise passed between them, without either man needing to say a word.

The gunslinger took a deep breath as he let go. Back to the issue at hand. Still have to deal with Buck and Josiah. "So…we met up when Ezra gets back. We tell Buck and Josiah that Josiah reminds Ezra of one of the many would be father types who were a bit heavy handed?"

Vin nodded. "They don’t need to know the rest." Another hard look. "And we aren’t going to tell them."

Chris realized Vin wasn’t asking him. He was making sure Chris understood what he had just been told was going to stay between them. Not a problem. Didn’t expect any different. "No, they don’t need to know. And, no, we don’t need to tell them."

Chris moved to pick up the tray, intending to return it on his way back to the jail. He’d been gone for longer than he’d expected. It was time he got back. Chris pointed a finger at Vin. "You stay here, like you’re supposed to. Ezra said he’d be back by lunch time. We’ll talk to the others then."

Vin scowled at him. "Don’t want ta jus’ sit here."

"I don’t care." Chris gave him a very pointed look. "You aren’t supposed to be up and around. ‘Sides, I know your leg still bothers you. Won’t hurt you to sit still for a bit."

Seeing a rebellious look on Vin’s face, Chris pulled out the big guns. "I told Ezra I’d look after you. He is expecting me to take care of you. And I’m pretty sure you told him you’d take it easy. What would he think if you end up falling flat on your face while I’m on duty in the jail?"

Vin shot him a dirty look. "That ain’t fair, Chris."

Chris shrugged. "Don’t have to be fair. You stay put. We’ll talk later. Okay?"

Vin sighed heavily. "Okay."

"Okay, what?"

Vin rolled his eyes. "I’ll stay here until Ez gets back and we talk to the others."

Chris nodded. Good enough. He knew that all bets would be off after that, but he’d take what he could get. He smiled to himself. After that, it’ll be Ezra’s problem.

*******

Buck slouched in his chair in front of the saloon. He’d been sitting there for most of the morning. In truth, he’d gotten very little sleep last night. Too many thoughts seemed bound and determined to chase themselves through his mind, like a dog trying to catch it’s own tail.

After he’d seen Josiah safely home to the church from the saloon last night, Buck had been unable to relax. He’d had the same problem in the past trying to wind down from stressful situations. The tough stuff would be over with, but it would take him hours to finally be able to put it completely behind him. Finding and fighting with the rustlers, Vin getting shot, the race back to Four Corners and then back to Vin and Chris, Ezra nearly shooting Josiah. It all added up to one of the more stressful days of Buck’s life.

He’d gone to the jail, and kept JD company until midnight. Still restless, he’d thought about visiting one of his lady friends, but he wasn’t really in the mood for company. He’d finally ended up in his own room, spending a few hours staring at the ceiling, until sleep finally claimed him. And for reasons he didn’t totally understand, Buck was awake at the crack of dawn.

The same thoughts had been running around in his head since he’d gotten up. Buck found himself going over last night again and again. Trying to sort out exactly what had happened and why. Other details found their way in as well, images and thoughts that Buck simply couldn’t seem to banish as being unimportant.

Ezra, and Vin, riding back in the wagon together. Ezra and Vin hiding out on the saloon roof, only their laughter giving them away. Vin and Ezra sitting next to each other at the table, the same secret smile playing on both their faces. Vin putting himself between Ezra and Josiah, forcing the preacher to stay at least arms length away. Vin coming to Ezra’s defense more than once when someone made a derogatory comment. Ezra offering a piece of candy to Vin after he’d given pieces to several children. Ezra, on the clinic landing, demanding answers about Vin’s condition, subtly threatening violence if Buck didn’t respond. Ezra willingly allowing Vin to touch him when he rejected physical contact from nearly everyone else.

There is something I’m missing. Definitely. Just not sure what. Buck sighed. He felt like he was trying to put together a puzzle with some critical pieces lost. He wasn’t even sure what picture he was trying to construct.

He knew whatever was going on between Vin and Ezra it had been going on for awhile. Month. Maybe longer. Buck realized that many of those stray thoughts, and images, were proof of that. They were things he’d noticed, without even being conscious that he had noticed. Every man needs to have someone he can count on. Vin and Ez maybe a damn sight more than most, what with that bounty on Vin, and Ez bein’ a gambler. So why do I get the feeling it’s more than that? More than just good friends. Maybe a lot more.

Buck sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. He didn’t like puzzles. He preferred things to be simple, straightforward, and honest. Buck made a decision. First chance I get, I’m just gonna ask. Be easier than tryin’ ta figure it out.

Buck smiled slightly. Ezra would definitely answer him. The man always did. He just tended to use a lot of words, half of which, Buck didn’t understand. It sometimes made asking a question something of an exercise in futility. Vin, on the other hand, would give a short, simple answer, but Buck found that he often didn’t walk away knowing any more from the tracker than he did from Ezra. Well, this time, I’ll jus’ have ta stick with it, and make ‘em tell me what I want to know. Buck nodded to himself, pleased with his decision and his resolve.

He watched Ezra leave the boarding house, and head for the restaurant. A few minutest later, the cardsharp headed for the jail. Buck noted that the man looked a hell of a lot better than he had the day before. Not nearly so pale, the dark circles under his eyes were gone, and he seemed to be moving with his usual grace and energy again.

Buck was relieved. Last night, he hadn’t been completely sure it was the right thing to leave Vin with Ezra. Hell one was wounded, and the other weren’t exactly acting like himself. Buck had deferred to Chris, trusting his old friend’s judgement of the situation was more accurate than his own. Looks like the old war dog was right. Ez must have gotten some sleep. Wonder if Vin slept all right. Hope so. Boy needed his rest too.

He saw Ezra leave the jail, heading for the stable, and ride out on Chaucer a few minutes later. Ezra tipped his hat to Buck, with a small smile, as he rode by. Buck nodded back, honestly surprised that Ezra had even been aware he was there. Ezra had seemed preoccupied, his focus inward, but then the man always seemed to know where people were and what they were doing, even if he didn’t appear to be paying attention. To date, Buck had yet to catch the conman unaware.

Buck was fairly certain that he’d never understand Ezra. Not if he lived to be a hundred. Buck smiled, when he realized that thought didn’t bother him much. He liked Ezra anyway. Can’t say things are ever really boring with him around.

It wasn’t long after Ezra rode out when Chris left the jail and head for the restaurant. Buck watched him leave with a tray, heading for the boarding house. Judging from the dark clad gunslinger’s determined stride and expression, Buck was pretty sure that Chris was going to get himself some answers. Safe bet Vin’s got ‘em too. Wonder when he plans on tellin’ the rest o’ us.

Buck stroked his mustache, deep in thought. No…won’t be tellin’ all of us. Jus’ me an’ Josiah. No need ta tell JD or Nate. They weren’t there. Would be too hard to explain it. Hell, if I hadn’t seen it, I wouldn’t believe Ez would pull a gun on Josiah. JD would probably think it was a joke. An’ Nate would most likely go off on Ez like it was his fault, which it ain’t.

Buck shook his head and sat up straight. He abandoned the idea of taking a nap, knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to. He wouldn’t be able to really relax until he knew what had happened last night, and that it wouldn’t happen again. Or if it did happen, that he would know how to handle it.

Buck got up, and headed for the jail. Might as well keep an eye on our rustler ‘til Chris gets back. He knew Chris wouldn’t be gone long.

Buck poured himself a cup of coffee before sitting down behind the desk. He leaned back and propped his feet up on the desk, pushing the chair back on two legs. He rocked slowly as he sipped the dark, bitter brew. He knew without a doubt Chris had made this pot. Only man I know who can make coffee strong enough to float a brick and still have it taste good.

Buck glanced toward the cell. JD told him their prisoner’s name last night but for the life of him Buck couldn’t remember it. He shrugged. Don’t really matter as long as the feller is asleep. Ain’t like I want to talk to him anyway.

He’d just finished his coffee when Chris entered. Buck nodded to his old friend. Chris raised an eyebrow, and frowned at him.

"What are you doin’ here, Buck?"

Buck shrugged, and dropped his feet to the floor, letting the chair fall forward with a soft thump. "Figured somebody ought ta watch the jail while ya talked to Vin."

"Didn’t think you’d be awake yet." Chris poured himself another cup, and raised the pot in a silent offer to Buck.

Buck held out his cup letting Chris fill it again. "Yeah, me either, but here I am."

Chris pursed his lips slightly. "What’s wrong?"

"Couldn’t sleep." Buck smirked. "Figured I might as well make myself useful."

Chris sipped his coffee. "Ain’t like you to have trouble sleeping."

Buck rolled his eyes. "Sure it is. You remember?" During the war it wasn’t uncommon for Buck to get only a few hours a night. He was infamous for walking the sentry lines, double checking the camp, and watching out for his men.

Chris sat down in the other chair, and looked hard at Buck. "Haven’t had that problem in awhile."

"Yeah, well, haven’t had too many days like yesterday either."

"True."

Buck sipped his coffee. "Vin all right?"

Chris nodded. "Wants ta be up and around."

That wasn’t exactly unexpected. Buck grinned. He would have been worried if the Texan wasn’t trying to leave. "You convince him ta stay put?"

"For awhile. Someone will have ta ride herd on him ‘til Nate says he’s free ta come and go."

"Someone? You mean Ez." Buck took a shot in the dark. He knew he’d hit home when Chris’ eyes narrowed. Chris was never any better at poker than I am. Good thing. Don’t need any more friends I can’t read than I already got. One is plenty.

"Chris, a blind man could tell there is somethin’ goin’ on." Buck pointed out, his tone mild. "You wanna let me in?"

Chris shook his head firmly. "You’ll have to ask them."

"Fair enough." Buck hadn’t really expected any other answer. Chris had made it clear last night that he wasn’t willing to tell what he knew. Buck had just thought it might save time to talk to Chris first. Always look for the easy way. Sometimes ya get lucky, and can take it.

"Ezra looked a lot better this morning." Buck stated after a moment of silence.

"You saw him?"

Buck nodded. "On his way outta town." Buck regarded Chris steadily. "Vin say anything?"

Chris took a deep breath. Buck was surprised to see a cold, bleak look suddenly appear. He hadn’t seen that particular look for a long time. Buck waited, knowing better than to ask for more. If Chris was going to tell him, he would. If he wasn’t, no amount of asking would get him to.

Chris closed his eyes, and took another deep breath. "Vin said a damn sight more than I expected."

Buck tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Hell, when he says more than five words at a time, it’s more than I expected."

Chris chuckled dryly. "You used to say the same thing ‘bout me."

"Was the truth then." Buck flashed a quick grin. "Some days it still is."

Chris’ lips quirked up into a half smile before he sobered again. "Ezra wants ta talk to you and Josiah when he gets back."

Buck raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Didn’t expect him to want to do it so soon." Figured another day, maybe two.

Chris shrugged one shoulder, and sipped his coffee. His eyes turned toward the far wall, but Buck knew it wasn’t what Chris was looking at. "Were it me, I’m not sure I’d ever say anything." Chris’ voice was whisper soft, almost as though he hadn’t meant to speak out loud. He shuddered once, and then looked back at Buck. "Vin wants to be there."

That didn’t surprise Buck at all. "So we’ll be doin’ this in yer room?"

Chris nodded. "Seemed appropriate."

"Can see that." Buck nodded. Finish it where it started. Sort o’ poetic. He cocked his head to study Chris. He looks a bit peeked. "You okay?"

Chris nodded slowly. "Yeah, Buck. I’m fine." Chris rubbed one hand over his face. "Jus’ been a rough couple o’ days. Ya know?"

"All too well." Buck sighed silently. He’d been there for most of it. Got the feelin’ it was the last hour or so that did Chris in. He didn’t look this rough last night. "You eat breakfast?"

"Ate with Vin."

Buck studied Chris more closely. "You want me to stay?"

Chris shook his head. "Go get yourself something to eat. I’ll be fine."

"You sure?"

Chris waved a hand toward the door. He looked annoyed. "Go mother hen someone else."

Buck chuckled, as he stood up. He felt better, relaxed. Talking to Chris, even if they never said much, or solved anything, always had that affect on him. Buck yawned and stretched as he left the jail. Eat breakfast, and then I’ll catch a nap. Be ready for when Ez gets back.

*******

Ezra rode back toward town shortly before noon. As expected, things on his patrol had been quiet. The only issue of concern had been Mrs. Cavanaugh. The child had indeed come early. Nathan had stopped the bleeding, and Mrs. Cavanaugh seemed to be recovering, but it didn’t look good for the baby. The healer hadn’t given up yet, but Ezra privately thought he fought a loosing battle. He fervently hoped he was wrong, but the young, and the weak, rarely survived in this harsh environment.

Ezra silently wished Nathan good luck. He would have offered to help, but knew his help would not be welcomed, and in truth, there was little he could do. He spent a few minutes talking with Mr. Cavanaugh, and his young son, offering what little reassurance, and comfort, he had to give. After checking to see if there was anything Nate needed, and assuring him that Vin was doing fine, Ezra had continued his patrol.

The quiet ride gave him a lot of time to think. His thoughts kept drifting back to his conversation with Vin. He didn’t regret sharing his past with Vin. He had expected to, but instead of feeling uneasy, ashamed or embarrassed, Ezra found he felt more light-hearted than he had in a long time.

I may have been more honest with Vin than I realized when I said it was a burden I was tired of carrying alone. Funny. I never would have expected silence to be such a heavy thing to hold. Secrets are indeed things of substance and weight. Small wonder so many people are eager to share them, and so few secrets are ever really kept.

Ezra found he was uneasy thinking about what Chris’ reaction might be. Ezra fully expected Vin to share most, if not all, of what he had told him. Ah well, it’s not as if Mr. Larabee actually liked me. Most days, he barely tolerates my presence.

The gambler sighed heavily. He’d given his permission, and it was too late to withdraw it. Second thoughts not withstanding, he’d meant what he’d told Chris that morning. Vin would need someone to talk to, and Chris would likely be his first choice. The tracker trusted Chris completely. Ezra respected that, knowing the gunslinger to be trustworthy where Vin was concerned.

He hadn’t wanted Vin to feel compelled to remain silent, the way he’d felt for so many years. If his lover needed someone to talk to about what Ezra had unloaded on him, then Ezra would do his best to make sure he had it. Nothing has really been lost. It isn’t as if Mr. Larabee respected me before. If he thinks less of me, well, it isn’t as though I’ll have fallen from some great height.

Ezra was honestly less concerned with what Chris might think of him, than how what he thought might affect Ezra’s relationship with Vin. He seemed to be coming to terms with our liaison. An unexpected ally, to be sure. That does not mean he will accept this latest revelation with good grace.

Ezra tensed at the thought of just how bad things might be between himself and their reluctant leader. Chaucer danced to one side, reacting to the unease he felt coming from his rider. Ezra patted Chaucer’s neck affectionately, settling the gelding easily. "My apologies, my friend. I had not meant to disturb you."

With the skill of a lifetime of practice, Ezra forced himself to consider all the possible outcomes, no matter how distressing or frightening they might be. He had found prior planning to be invaluable in the past. Ezra really did abhor gambling. He’d much rather take the time to work through the options, and make an educated, calculated risk, than trust his fate entirely to luck. Luck was far too fickle, and he preferred to know ahead of time that he was ready for whichever way the lady chose to jump.

He carefully reviewed each scenario, weighed the odds, and decided on his best course of action. No matter what happened, he was determined to stay with Vin, until the Texan told him that he was no longer wanted. Everything else was incidental. Ezra could put up with a hell of a lot if it meant being with Vin.

Ezra nodded to himself. Just have to take the good with the bad, Ezra. Nothing is free. You already knew that. Ezra was fully aware that the price to be paid for being with Vin might well be tolerating Chris’ derision, and dislike. That would be nothing new, although the level of intensity, and the reason for it, may have changed. As long as the gunslinger didn’t say or do anything to Vin, Ezra was comfortable with that. He’d put up with worse. Much worse.

On a small hill, just out side of town, Ezra stopped. He studied Four Corners with a critical eye. It was not a place he’d ever expected to find himself thinking of as home. In truth, Four Corners was not his home. It wasn’t the ramshackle buildings, or the dusty streets, Ezra found so attractive. It was the men he worked with. Despite their differences, or perhaps because of them, Ezra liked and respected the others. He enjoyed the camaraderie, even if he was on the fringe most of the time. He liked being a part of something positive, of belonging. It would hurt like hell to have to leave.

It won’t come to that. Ezra snorted, at his own assertion, knowing it to be a lie. Eventually, the town would no longer need them. It would someday settle down, and seven hired guns would be a thing of the past. JD might choose to remain as sheriff. Chris had his ranch, and if he continued to pursuit her, he might have Mary Travis as well. A real doctor would probably arrive at some point, and Nathan would be forced to move on. Perhaps to the village, perhaps even further, depending on whether Rain was still waiting. Josiah could probably find a place for himself anywhere, but once the town became established, the people would likely prefer a more traditional man of God. It was hard to guess where Buck might end up. And Vin…well, there was the bounty still hanging over his head, and the tracker’s natural animosity toward civilization.

Ezra smiled slightly. If he were lucky, he would be allowed to remain, staying with the others, until forced out by circumstance. If he were very lucky, he would still be with Vin when that happened. If the fates deigned to smile favorably, he’d be with Vin until the day he died, but Ezra wasn’t inclined to look that far ahead. Too much could happen in between, and it was sometimes best to simply life one day at a time.

It may well be that Mother was right. It is best not to form attachments. Ezra sighed. Far too late for second thoughts. I am already attached. I simply need to see about how to stay that way.

Shaking off his thoughts, Ezra nudged Chaucer forward. No point in trying to delay the inevitable. Mr. Larabee is expecting me to be back soon. He would send someone to fetch me if I dallied too long.

Ezra rode into town, and headed directly for the stable. It was usually empty this time of day, and Ezra was grateful for that, wanting solitude for as long as possible. He was unsaddling Chaucer when he felt someone enter. Without seeming to do so, Ezra made sure his weapons were ready, and within easy reach, before turning with studied carelessness, to see who’d come in. I might have guessed. The only man who’s aura I can actually feel.

"Good day, Mr. Larabee."

"Ezra." Chris dipped his head in a slight nod of acknowledgement.

Chris leaned against a nearby stall, arms folded, watching as Ezra returned his saddle to its usual place. Ezra picked Chaucer’s favorite brush and began attending to his mount. He let the repetitious act sooth his nerves, careful to maintain the air of calm unconcern. It wouldn’t do for the gunslinger to know his presence made Ezra feel uneasy. He hadn’t expected to see Chris quite so soon. Ezra had hoped to get a minute or two alone with Vin before having to face the music. C’est la vie.

"Everything quiet?"

"Positively tranquil." Ezra glanced up, briefly making eye contact, and then went back to work. "Mr. Jackson will likely remain at the Cavanaugh ranch for a few more days. Although, he indicated he will attempt to return tonight if all goes well."

"Missus all right?"

Ezra nodded. "She seems to be. Unfortunately, the child is not proving to be so resilient."

"Nate think the baby will make it?"

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Hope springs forth eternal, Mr. Larabee."

"Damn." Chris swore softly, correctly reading Ezra’s doubt that the child would survive.

Ezra finished his self-appointed task, and patted Chaucer’s shoulder as he left the stall. He had considered dragging it out, but he wasn’t sure how patient Chris intended to be. The man looked like he might willingly hold up the stable all day, but Ezra knew looks were deceiving. Deception, was after all, the very core of his chosen profession.

Ezra sighed silently, and mentally prepared himself for whatever was coming. No point in trying the man’s patience two days in a row. Despite assertions to the contrary, I do not have a death wish.

"Shall we go and visit Mr. Tanner?" Ezra gestured toward the door, offering to let Chris precede him.

"In a minute." Chris held out a hand, reaching to halt Ezra’s move toward the door.

Without even thinking about it, Ezra gracefully eluded Chris’ reach by moving back a step. Ezra raised one eyebrow, when Chris flinched in response to Ezra’s move. Odd. "Mr. Larabee?"

"Sorry, Ez."

Ezra frowned in confusion. "For what?"

Chris stepped back, giving Ezra more room. "Know you don’t like to be touched. Didn’t mean ta crowd you."

Ezra looked away, embarrassed. His unease had manifested itself in his ingrained habit of trying to maintain distance between himself and others. He was generally comfortable with initiating contact, but avoided it when others approached him first, wanting to ascertain the intent first. It never occurred to him, that his actions last night would draw attention to this idiosyncrasy. He certainly hadn’t intended for the others to feel the need to modify their behavior around him. The last thing he wanted was for Chris to treat him differently than he had.

"There is no need to apologize, Mr. Larabee. I realize my behavior last night may have led you to believe I am inherently unstable, but please be assured I have no intention of loosing control in such a fashion again. You are in no danger from me."

"I know that." Chris sounded exasperated. "Never thought I was."

"Then why—" Ezra stared at him, green eyes raking over the older man in a second. He swallowed hard, and braced himself. "Vin told you everything, I take it." Ezra’s voice sounded far calmer than he felt, seeking confirmation of what he already knew.

Chris cocked his head to one side, his expression thoughtful. "Don’t know if he told everything. Not sure how much there is." Chris’ eyes held Ezra’s. "Vin jus’ told me about what happened when your were thirteen. And that fella, St. John." Chris all but spit out the name, eyes glowing with an emotion Ezra couldn’t name. "It went a long way toward clearin’ up what happened last night."

"Ah." Very nearly everything then. "Vin--" Ezra stopped not sure what to say. What he really wanted to ask was if his lover had become distraught, or incensed when he told Chris the story. Had talking to Chris helped or hindered. How do I ask if my lover’s best friend if was able to supply the needed support without implying that he might not have been able to? And do I honestly want to know if Vin lost it trying to discuss the fact that my history is far from pristine?

Chris surprised him when he spoke, seemingly able to read Ezra’s mind. "You were right. He did need ta talk about it. Was a good thing you did lettin’ him know he could talk to me. Seemed to help." Chris shifted his weight slightly. "Other than wantin’ ta kill yer mother, I’d say he’s as okay as he was when ya left."

Ezra sighed. He had hoped that Vin might have relinquished his anger by now. Fool’s bet. He was more than angry. It was unrealistic to expect him to let it go so quickly. Very few people harbored neutral feelings about his mother, himself included. She was loved or hated, admired or despised, leaving very little middle ground where she was concerned. And very few ever changed their minds once they’d decided what to think of her. Ezra always thought of Maude was a force of nature, something akin to a tornado. One didn’t judge or control such things, you admired their stark, devastating beauty, even as you fled from it, hoping to avoid its destructive path.

"My mother is an extraordinary woman, Mr. Larabee. She has a tendency to generate strong emotions."

"That’s one way of putting it." Chris snorted derisively, eyes flashing with anger. "She should never have done that to you. Ought to be strung up by her thumbs."

Ezra looked at Chris, somewhat perplexed. He hadn’t expected anger on his behalf. At him, certainly. For him, was not a reaction he’d foreseen. "Please, Mr. Larabee…let it go. I did not enlighten Vin about my past with the intention of exacting revenge or restitution for every slight done to my person."

Chris growled. "Slight? Ezra, this wasn’t some insult. It was--"

"I know exactly what it was." Ezra said firmly, cutting Chris off, not wanting to dwell on his past any more than he already had. "Believe me, I am fully cognizant of the true nature of what transpired." More so than I wish to be.

Ezra shrugged, easing the tension he could feel rising. "It is done. Nearly ancient history." Ezra smiled sadly. "Harboring or encouraging hostility toward my mother will not change the past."

"Still isn’t right." Chris insisted, a stubborn set to his jaw.

"Right or wrong no longer matter. It is already done. Passing judgement on the issue will not alter it." Ezra stated firmly.

Chris frowned, but nodded. Ezra got the distinct impression the gunslinger didn’t agree with him, but was willing to let it go for now. The gambler would take whatever he could get.

Arguing the merits of a done deed rarely fixes anything. I should probably wire Mother, and warn her not to put in an appearance in this town for some time. It would not be safe for her to be here. Not with Vin still angry, and likely to stay that way for some time. And Chris…well, I’m sure he’ll let this go soon enough. It is not as if he had any reason to hold a grudge.

Chris gave him the same careful once over that he had when Ezra walked into the jail. "I’m sorry."

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "You already apologized, Mr. Larabee. It really isn’t necessary. You didn’t do anything that would warrant an apology."

Chris waved a hand. "No..not for…not for what I did. For what I didn’t do."

Ezra looked at him, honest confusion coloring his features. "I don’t understand."

Chris cleared his throat. "I should have said something to Josiah before about leaving you alone."

Ezra smirked. Ah…as our leader, he feels he failed somewhere or last night might not have transpired. "It was hardly your responsibility. I am an adult, fully capable of seeing after my own needs. I should have made my wishes more clearly known."

Chris rolled his eyes. "Don’t think you could have been any clearer. Must have told him a hundred times not to touch you or call you son."

Ezra’s lips quirked upward in a half smile. "One of Mr. Sanchez’s more admirable qualities is his persistence. He is not easily dissuaded."

"Persistent?" Chris grimaced. "You had ta draw down on him, Ez, ta get him to listen. Never should have come to that. Ya were this close," Chris held thumb and forefinger close together, but not quite touching, "ta shooting the man."

Ezra shifted his weight from one foot to the other, suddenly uncomfortable with where Chris might be heading. He deeply regretted his loss of control. He feared the gunslinger might no longer want him to stay if he couldn’t be trusted to be able to identify friend from foe. Understandable sentiment. Threatening one’s fellow peacekeeper is not exactly an action most would deem acceptable. I’ll just have to convince him that it was a singular incident and will not be repeated.

"I assure you, Mr. Larabee, it won’t happen again."

"Yer damn right it won’t." Chris hissed. In spite of himself, Ezra winced, hearing in that an admonishment for his uncharacteristic behavior. Chris saw it, and took a step forward, narrowing the distance between them. "Didn’t mean that as a criticism of you, Ez. Jus’ meant that when we talk to Josiah, we make sure he understands. It’s him that needs ta behave, not you."

Ezra looked at him, green eyes wide. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around what Chris had said. I must have misunderstood. "Excuse me?"

Chris smiled gently. "I don’t blame you. What happened last night…it shouldn’t have happened. And it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been treating you differently than I do the others."

Ezra shook his head. He really must not assume responsibility for circumstances over which he had no control. "Mr. Larabee—"

Chris held up a hand. "I would never have let Josiah push the others the way he pushed you." Chris looked away for a moment, expression remorseful. "I thought you were just being a pain in the ass. Just pitchin’ a fit about things like the spoiled brat I assumed you were." Chris hung his head for a moment. "Shames me ta admit it, but I sort o’ enjoyed the fact that Josiah was makin’ you uncomfortable."

Ezra stared at him. For the first time in his life, Ezra was at a loss for words. His best-case scenario had involved things remaining the same, status quo. Never had he envisioned being on the receiving end of a confession. Chris didn’t seem aware of how much he’d stunned him.

"I never thought about you for even a second. About what you wanted, what you thought, or how you saw the situation. Never occurred ta me that you might have a damn good reason for wantin’ Josiah to keep his distance."

Chris squared his shoulders, and faced Ezra. "I owe you an apology for that. I was wrong, and I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me for being an ass."

Forgive you? Oh dear lord. Ezra reached up with one hand and placed the back of it against Chris’ forehead. Chris caught his wrist, pushing his hand away. "What are you doing?"

"Checking for a fever." Ezra answered, his tone very matter-of-fact. When Chris glared at him, Ezra grinned, dimples flashing briefly. "I am fairly certain you were suffering from some sort of illness induced delirium."

"Ezra, I’m serious."

So was I. It was either illness or too much to drink. Since drinking tends to make you mean, I assumed it was the former. Ezra sighed softly, trying to determine the best course of action. He had no experience with something like this. "You really mean it?"

"Yes!" Chris snarled at him. "Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it."

The gunslinger’s reaction was reassuring. It was far more what Ezra was used to, and comfortable with. Ezra studied Chris silently for several minutes. The man honestly means it!! Wonders never cease. Hmmm…I wonder if I should, in the future, rethink what constitutes a best-case option. No…better not to be too optimistic, it generally ends in disappointment.

"Mr. Larabee…As I said before, you didn’t do anything that warrants an apology." Ezra held up a hand when Chris opened his mouth to speak again. "However, I can appreciate your need to offer some sort of verbal expiation, despite my protestation to the contrary."

"Meaning?" Chris looked confused and slightly wary.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Apology accepted." He held out a hand, and Chris shook it firmly.

Chris didn’t immediately relinquish his grip. "Ezra?"

"Mr. Larabee?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. Now what?

"You think, maybe, you could just call me Chris from now on?"

Ezra chuckled, and withdrew his hand from Chris’. "I shall consider it."

"Fair enough." Chris waved a hand toward the door. "Why don’t you go see Vin. I’ll swing by the restaurant and grab lunch for you."

"That isn’t necessary, Mr. Larabee." Knowing that Buck and Josiah would be putting in an appearance, probably within the hour, had been a real damper on Ezra’s appetite. He wasn’t hungry. He probably wouldn’t be hungry until the last of this was settled.

Chris gave him a stern look. "You didn’t eat breakfast."

"I never eat breakfast." Ezra rolled his eyes. When did so many people suddenly become concerned with my dietary habits? Most mornings, Ezra didn’t rise before ten or eleven. It wasn’t usually a hardship to simply wait to eat until lunch. And this morning, Ezra had been far too unsettled to even consider eating. He thought it best just for forgo the whole thing.

"Ya need to make up for it then."

"Chris, please, it isn’t—" Ezra stopped. The look on Chris’ face told him he wasn’t going to win this argument. Might as well give in gracefully. Perhaps if I play with it long enough it will look like I’ve eaten something. Lord, but I could use a stiff drink. "Very well. I’ll be with Vin."

Chris smiled. "Good."

Ezra shook his head, and stepped past Chris. He’d feel better once he saw Vin. Hopefully, his lover was behaving normally. Ezra wasn’t sure he could handle another uncharacteristic conversation.

*******

Vin woke from his light doze when he heard a soft knock at the door. In one smooth move he had his sawed off up, and pointed at the door, watching warily. It should be a friend, but it never hurt to be careful. The knob rattled and then the door opened slightly.

"Vin? It’s me."

Ezra. He’s back already? Vin glanced at the shadows cast on the wall and realized he’d been a sleep longer than the thought. Judging by the short shadows and bright room, it was nearly noon.

"C’mon in." Vin called out, and lowered his weapon when Ezra slipped in, shutting the door behind him. Vin yawned, and rubbed his eyes with one hand, coming fully awake. "Thought Chris locked that when he left." Vin mumbled.

"I’m sure he did." Ezra grinned at him, green eyes bright with mischief. "I picked the lock."

Vin chuckled greatly relieved to hear such a light tone of voice coming from Ezra. Sounds like he’s doin’ all right. Weren’t so sure he’d be okay…not with this mornin’ an’ all. He smiled warmly at his lover, and pointed vaguely toward the door. "Yer gonna have to show me how ta do that some day."

"Certainly." Ezra raised two fingers in salute. "It is definitely a useful skill. Facilitates entry into nearly anywhere."

Vin rolled his eyes. "You coulda asked Chris for the key."

Ezra shrugged, nonchalantly. "My way was easier." He stepped over to the bed, and sat down gingerly on the edge, perching close to Vin. One hand came up to cup Vin’s face, his expression soft. "I didn’t mean to wake you."

Vin turned his head, and placed a quick kiss in Ezra’s palm. "Was jus’ nappin’. No harm done."

Vin grinned. He was glad Ezra was back. Somehow everything thing was better when Ezra was around. "Shouldn’t be sleepin’ in the middle o’ the day anyhow."

Ezra frowned, small lines forming between his brows. "You need the rest."

"Rest?" Vin rolled his eyes and snorted. "Was bored is all."

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Bored?" He nodded in satisfaction. "Then you’ve been staying put."

"Yep. Didn’t like it, but I’ve been here all morning. Jus’ like ya told me to." Vin looked at Ezra slyly, measuring the man suggestively. "I get some kind o’ reward for bein’ a good boy?"

"A reward?" Ezra cocked his head to one side, expression serious as though he were considering Vin’s question, but his eyes were twinkling. "Well, I suppose that could be arranged."

Vin smiled, offering an invitation. "Ya think so?"

"Oh definitely." Ezra edged a little closer. "With certain conditions, naturally."

Vin raised his eyebrows. He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. "Conditions?"

"On what you wanted for a reward, of course." Ezra grinned at him, dimples flashing briefly. "I can not give you the sun, moon, or stars, but anything else, within my power, is yours."

Vin stared at him, momentarily stunned by that heart-felt, honest declaration. Man alive. He has such a way with words. "A kiss." Vin’s answer was definite once he recovered his voice.

"A kiss?" Ezra licked his lower lip, and Vin’s eyes couldn’t help but follow the movement of his tongue. "Are you sure?" Ezra winked at him, a definite leer gracing his features. "Is that all?"

Vin reached out to pull Ezra closer. "For now." He whispered against Ezra’s soft lips, before diving in for a deep kiss. He sucked gently on Ezra’s tongue, his own tongue dueling lazily for a moment, delighting in the taste and feel. Never can figure out how come he tastes sweeter’n fresh peaches.

Vin pulled away with a reluctant sigh. He rested his forehead against Ezra’s, cupping his lover’s face with both hands. "Missed you."

"Missed you, too." Ezra’s voice was a husky whisper.

Vin pulled him to a hug, enjoying the feel of Ezra being so close. With Ezra close to him, Vin breathed a sigh of satisfaction. Everything was right with his world again. He felt like his balance had slipped this morning, his whole world knocked askew by what Ezra had told him. Talking to Chris had helped him regain his some sense of equilibrium. Holding Ezra, now, Vin felt like he had his feet under him again.

"Things were quiet?" Had to have been. He’s back from patrol on time. But it don’t hurt to make sure.

Ezra nodded his head against Vin’s shoulder. "No trouble." Ezra sighed softly. Vin could feel a shift in his emotions with that soft sound. "Nathan is still at the Cavanaugh’s."

Vin held his lover tighter, wincing at that bit of news. Aw..hell. Don’t bode well fer the baby then. He knew Ezra had a soft spot for children. The gambler seemed to connect with kids in ways he simply couldn’t with adults.

Ezra pulled away. He half-smiled at Vin, green eyes shadowed. "You are all right?"

Vin knew Ezra was asking about more than his physical health. "Yeah." He raised a hand to caress Ezra’s cheek with one knuckle. "Talked ta Chris."

"I know." Ezra captured Vin’s hand and held it. "Saw him in the livery when I got back."

Vin’s eyes narrowed. He hadn’t expected Chris to do that. Vin didn’t think Chris would do anything to upset Ezra, but he wasn’t sure his friend truly understood just how to walk soft when it came to the gambler. He wouldn’t have done it on purpose, but he still might have upset Ez. "Chris behave himself?"

Ezra laughed, a light pealing sound of delight. Vin loved hearing Ezra laugh that way. Need ta find ways ta make him do it more often.

Vin relaxed slightly. Ezra’s laugh had been unforced, and genuine. Chris couldn’t have upset him then. But I didn’t really get an answer ta my question. "C’mon, Ez, tell me he didn’t give you any grief?"

Ezra squeezed Vin’s hand, still chuckling. "Chris was acting rather out of character. Certainly not what I expected."

"This is a good thing, right?" Seems ta be, but with Ez ya never can tell.

"Oh indeed." Ezra leaned in to place a quick kiss on the tip of Vin’s nose. "A very good thing." Ezra pulled away, and released Vin’s hand. "Now, with Nathan unlikely to return today, perhaps I should see to your leg."

"My leg’s fine." It sent him little painful reminders if he moved to quickly, or the wrong way. But other than that, it was fine. He didn’t want to draw attention to it. With any luck, he’d be getting out of Chris’ room today and back to Ezra’s.

Ezra gave him a quelling look, reminding Vin of looks he’d seen some of the mother’s in town give their children. "That doesn’t mean the bandage should not be changed. And, I would feel immeasurably better if you let me determine for myself the state of your health."

Vin sighed heavily. He wasn’t going to win this battle. Better ta give in now, and take my chances. I fight too hard and he’ll think I’m lying. He flipped the quilt back to reveal his leg. He was still wearing Ezra’s silk shorts, and his bandaged thigh was readily visible.

"If it’ll make ya feel better, then have at it."

Ezra smiled. He moved over toward the dresser where a pitcher of water and a basin sat. He washed his hands and dried them, before picking up the roll of bandages Nathan had left there last night. Vin watched Ezra deftly undo the old bandage. His touch was light and gentle. Not that Vin expected anything else. The gambler had shown himself to be good at this sort of thing yesterday when he helped Nathan.

Ezra studied Vin’s healing wound. He ran a gentle hand over it, almost a ghosting, not really touching. "Hmm…cool. Good." Ezra was murmuring, seemingly more to himself than anything else. "No redness. No puss. Excellent."

Vin glanced at the hole in his leg. It was ugly, but looked like it was healing cleanly. He knew what his lover was looking for. He’d treated enough of his own injuries over the years to be familiar with signs of trouble. Heat, swelling, and discoloration were usually the easiest to recognize.

No fresh blood. Scabbin’ over like it should. Vin pursed his lips as he studied the wound. Gonna scar fer sure. One more scar didn’t bother Vin much. He had acquired quite a few of them over the years. Scars are jus’ prove ya lived. Mortal wounds don’t let ya live long enough ta get a scar.

He flexed his thigh experimentally, pleased with how well it responded, despite the sudden rush of pain. Ezra shook a finger at him. "No more of that, Vin Tanner."

"Jus’ checkin’ ta see if it worked all right."

Ezra shook his head, sending a sharp look at Vin, clearly not pleased with Vin’s reason. "Be still." The command was gentle, but still a command none the less. Vin sat unmoving while Ezra bandaged his leg with a clean cloth.

"You’ve had practice at this?" Ezra’s deft moves suggested as much.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "Once or twice."

Vin raised an eyebrow. "War?"

Ezra dipped his head, eyes focused on securing the bandage in place. "Before, during and after."

Vin nodded. He could easily say the same. Although, for the most part it was his own injuries he treated. Vin had a feeling Ezra had a fair amount of practice treating others.

"Ya ever think of helpin’ Nate?"

Ezra looked up, green eyes showing surprise. "I sincerely doubt Mr. Jackson would welcome my assistance."

"Don’t think that’s personal, Ez." Vin offered, although, with Nathan it could be hard to tell. "Nate don’t think any o’ us are… uh…qualified."

Ezra nodded slightly. "And he may well be right. Rudimentary skills are the best I could lay claim too. I would likely only get in his way."

Don’t know what rudimentary means, but ya seem ta know what you’re doin’ jus’ fine ta me. "Nate let you help last night." Vin pointed out. "An’ ya didn’t get in the way."
"A unique set of circumstances to be sure." Ezra waggled his eyebrows at Vin, eyes twinkling. "I believe Mr. Jackson labors under the delusion that you are more cooperative in my presence. I can’t imagine why he would think that?"

Vin shook his head, a smile playing on his lips. He was better behaved for Ezra. He knew how much it hurt to watch someone you loved suffer. Found out the hard way just last month when Ezra had been nearly strangled by a would-be bank robber. So he drank Nathan’s stinky teas, and let him poke and prod, if it would make things easier for Ezra, Vin would cooperate. Ez does the same thing. Quite a pair, the two o’ us.

"And Mr. Jackson’s feelings not-withstanding, I have no desire to practice medicine on any one." Ezra patted his leg lightly, making sure the bandage was smooth, not too loose or too tight. "I am not well suited to humanitarian work. My bed side manner is abysmal."

"Abysmal?" Vin frowned. "What’s that mean?"

"Dreadful."

Vin pursed his lips. He didn’t think there was anything abysmal about Ezra. Before he got the chance to speak that his mind on the subject, Ezra was already straightening up, and moving away toward the dresser.

"Would you like to put your pants on?"

Vin nodded eagerly. He didn’t mind wearing Ezra’s silk shorts, but felt better wearing his own pants. "Woulda put ‘em on ‘fore now, but I couldn’t find ‘em."

Ezra’s expression, when he turned around holding Vin’s pants in his hands, was far too innocent for Vin to believe. Figures he’d hide ‘em somewhere. Knows full well, I’d stay put rather than parade around town in these things he loaned me. Sneaky son-of-a-bitch. Got a love a man who looks out for my own good.

Ezra offered him his pants. They had been cleaned, and repaired. Vin raised his brows. "When ya get this done? Better yet, how? You weren’t carryin’ anything when ya left this mornin’. And I didn’t see you bring ‘em in with you."

Ezra smiled slightly, and shrugged. "Magic."

Ezra refused to give Vin any other answer. He helped Vin slip into his pants, after suggesting Vin leave the shorts on for now saying it would make disrobing for Nathan less of a trial later. Vin felt better almost immediately. It just hadn’t felt right to be only half dressed. Least wise not when I know we got company comin’ sometime today. A knock at the door seemed timed just to prove his point.

"Vin? Ezra? It’s Chris."

"Just a moment, Mr. Larabee." Ezra called out. He helped Vin repositioned himself, now thankfully totally dressed, on top of the blankets, and straightened the bed a bit, before moving toward the door. He opened it, and with a flourish waved his hand in a gesture that welcomed Chris into the room. Vin’s stomach rumbled loudly when he caught a whiff of what Chris was carrying.

"Lunch?"

Chris nodded. "Yep. Got roast beef, mashed potatoes, and green beans."

Vin sat up further. "Gravy?"

"Naturally." Chris set the tray down on the dresser. He uncovered a plate, and handed it to Ezra. Ezra immediately passed it off to Vin. Chris frowned. With a stern look, he handed the second plate to Ezra. "Eat that."

Ezra sighed, and took the plate. He moved to sit on the bed, next to Vin. Chris took the chair, holding his own plate. Vin moved his plate so that it rested next to Ezra’s. He used his fork to push the green beans on his plate over to Ezra’s.

Ezra raised an eyebrow at him. Vin shrugged. "Don’t like green beans."

Ezra smirked. "And all this time, I assumed there was nothing you would not devour."

"Don’t like liver either." Vin stated. He shot a questioning look toward Ezra. He knew Ezra tended to eat small meals, and preferred his food to be well cooked, but he’d never heard him absolutely refuse anything based on a taste preference. He’d voiced numerous complaints about the quality, but usually not about the actual food choices available. "Anythin’ you won’t eat?"

"Asparagus." Ezra cocked his head to one side. He made a face of distaste. "And I positively loathe okra."

Vin looked at Chris, curious to learn if his friend had any dislikes. It wasn’t something that ever came up before. "What ‘bout you, Cowboy?"

"Beets. Grits." Chris sighed. "And I really hate yams." Chris shook his head slightly. "My momma tried to get me to eat ‘em, but I always fed ‘em to the dog under the table."

Vin grinned. He had no trouble at all picturing Chris as a kid trying to avoid eating yams. Sounds like him.

Chris grinned back at him. "Eat your lunch." Chris admonished, pointing his fork at Vin as though he were threatening him with it.

Vin tucked in, finding he was hungrier than he thought. Breakfast seemed like a very long time ago. As Vin ate, he watched Ezra nibble at the beans. The cardsharp seemed content to just push the potatoes around on his plate, and hadn’t taken a single bite of his roast beef. Vin shared a look with Chris. They both knew the gambler tended to be a picky eater, but this was more than that. Ezra always ate less when he was nervous or worried. It was probably the only definite, and consistent, tell they were aware of.

Vin’s jaw tightened. He knew Ezra hadn’t eaten well while he was away. The gambler was definitely thinner than when Vin had left. Vin had a feeling all Ezra might have eaten last night was a piece of pie. It was all Vin had seen him consume, and he wouldn’t put it past Ezra to have skipped dinner. The gambler hadn’t really been gone very long before he’d come back with hot water and two pieces of pie.

Chris looked at Vin, and nodded slightly, letting him know he’d back whatever move Vin made. I’m not gonna let him starve himself over this. Would consider making Buck and Josiah wait, but I think waitin’ would jus’ make it worse for Ez. Decision made, Vin bumped Ezra’s shoulder. "Ez?"

"Yes?" Ezra looked up.

"Quit playin’ with that. Yer s’posed to eat it."

Ezra sighed. "I’m not hungry, Vin."

"Don’t care if yer hungry." Vin stated calmly, trying to sound reasonable. "Ya need ta eat."

Ezra looked away. Vin watched him, waiting. All else fails, I’m gonna tie him down and force feed him. Don’t want to do that. Really don’t want to. "Please, Ezra. Don’t want you getting sick."

"I won’t—"

"Ya will if ya aren’t eatin’." Vin insisted, his voice soft, but firm. He’d used that same tone of voice to good effect in the past. Ezra never responded positively to being insulted, cussed at or ordered about. Not that anyone really responded positively to those things, but Ezra could be stubborn like no one else Vin had ever met. Like working a green colt…take yer time, give ‘im a chance ta think it though, and encourage ‘im to do what ya want him to. Ya don’t get anywhere forcing it.

Vin waited a beat. "Know ya didn’t eat good while I was away. Body can only go so long like that." He left the fact that he needed Ezra to be whole and healthy unspoken, but he knew Ezra understood what he didn’t say.

Vin could see Ezra waver. The gambler closed his eyes, and nodded. He reluctantly ate a bite of beef. Vin kept watching him, silently encouraging him, until Ezra had eaten all of the beans, most of the potatoes and half the beef. Ezra handed Vin his plate.

"I simply can’t ingest anymore."

Vin took the half-empty plate. He handed it off to Chris. "Good enough." He was actually surprised that Ezra had eaten as much as he had.

Vin captured Ezra’s hand and held it. "It’s gonna be okay. Honest."

Ezra sent a wary look toward Chris, and seemed to relax when the gunslinger didn’t say or do anything about their joined hands. Chris calmly stacked the three plates, and then rose to return the plates to the tray. "Don’t need to worry, Ezra. Vin and I will see to it that everything goes smoothly."

Ezra raised an eyebrow, and shot an incredulous look toward Vin. "You must have had some conversation this morning." Ezra whispered, just loud enough for Vin to hear, but not loud enough to carry to Chris.

Vin smiled, and squeezed Ezra’s hand. "You have no idea." He whispered back.

Chris gave them both a stern look. "You two stay here. I’ll take this stuff back, and round up Buck and Josiah while I’m at it."

Vin could feel a faint tremble in the hand he still held. He squeezed. It will be okay. Even if I have to kill someone ta make it that way.

*******

Josiah had woken up early, as he usually did. But on this day, he never left the sanctuary of the church. He had forgone breakfast, preferring to fast. Needing the quiet and solitude of the church, he’d spent nearly every minute on his knees from the time he rolled out of bed praying for guidance and forgiveness. He had focused on his own conduct, examining every detail, every thought and motive. The insight he’d gained didn’t really please him, but it did give him what he was looking for.

Josiah sighed deeply. He levered himself off the floor, and rubbed his aching knees. He was too old to spend so much time on his knees any more. Josiah regarded his pain philosophically. If I had thought first and acted second, I wouldn’t have needed such a painful reminder. Penance earned and richly deserved.

The big man eased himself into the pew, and stared vacantly at the cross hanging before him. Over the past few hours, he had come to understand more of what Buck had said to him last night. ‘It isn’t about you.’ Indeed, brother. Truer words were never spoken.

In his desire to forge a closer bond with Ezra, Josiah had completely overlooked how the younger man might feel about his paternal leanings. The boy is long past the age when a father is wanted or needed. I should not have pushed so hard. Or so blindly.

Josiah sighed. In his conversations with Maude, Ezra’s father never came up. The fact that Maude had been married more than once did. Maybe the boy has just had one father too many.

Josiah shook his head. None of that really mattered. The reasons were immaterial. Ezra had stated his preference, and Josiah had consistently ignored it. It shamed the big man to think he had run roughshod over someone he professed to care a great deal about. And he did care about Ezra.

Not that my actions have shown that. Josiah rubbed one hand tiredly over his face. He had promised himself he would abandon his self-pity, and it was time to act on that resolution. I need to be able to make peace with Ezra. The only way to do that is to find away past this.

Unbidden, Josiah’s mind readily conjured up a picture of Ezra from the previous evening, gun out, pointed at him, ready and willing to fire, determined to be heard. Another image rose to join it. One of Josiah’s father, standing at the pulpit spouting yet another fire and brimstone speech, castigating his son for failing to be more righteous, more upright, more the man he deemed worthy. Josiah remembered as a child feeling the desire to escape at all cost, a willingness to do almost anything just to make his father stop. He closed his eyes against both images realizing that they had far more in common than he wanted to admit.

Josiah leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He had wanted more from Ezra than just friendship. He tried to force a deeper bond than Ezra was willing to allow. Just like his father, Josiah had been deaf to Ezra’s repeated requests that he cease and desist. In his heart, Josiah knew full well, that had he not forced it, the deeper bond he had wanted so badly would have forged naturally. All that had been required was for him to give it time, and to respect Ezra’s wishes.

Will just have to start over. Josiah nodded to himself. If it were too late, Ezra would have shot me. The former preacher took a deep breath. Just need to listen more. Pay attention, and stop treating him like his opinion, and wishes, don’t matter. Treat him the way I do the others. Give him the space he wants…needs. The Golden Rule came to mind.

Josiah wished he had some idea of when Ezra would be willing to talk to him. He no longer wanted answers, and no longer felt he even had the right to them. Ezra had been correct when he said Josiah had taken so much on faith. Nearly everything in his life he had tried accept, tolerate, adjust to, or made allowances for so that he could live peaceably. Everything and everyone except for Ezra.

From him, Josiah had unwittingly demanded explanations, insisted on clarification. It was only to Ezra that Josiah had turned a deaf ear, and a blind eye. He no longer felt he was in a position to ask for reasons, or justification. His own actions had negated his right on that issue. Had he not overridden Ezra, and pushed where he wasn’t wanted, last night would never have happened. Josiah recognized his part in that fiasco, and wanted to consider it a lesson learned. He wanted a chance to move forward, but wasn’t certain if it would be given.

Chris promised Ezra time, and there was really no telling how long that would be. Not to mention, it may well be Chris will be the only one he’ll talk to. Josiah’s heart twisted at the thought of having lost any chance to make it right. No! No. It isn’t too late. Never too late. Josiah latched on to that thought, and prayed fervently that he wasn’t wrong. He needed the chance to tell Ezra he was sorry. That what had happened was not the younger man’s fault.

Josiah looked up when the door of the church creaked open. Buck sauntered in. The ladies man looked at Josiah, his eyes assessing the bigger man with a frank appraisal.

"Josiah…you get any sleep last night?"

"Some." There was no point in lying. He’d spent a fair bit of the night tossing and turning, wrestling with his inner demons.

Buck nodded, clearly not surprised by the answer. "C’mon then."

"Where?"

"Ran inta Chris at the restaurant. He said Ezra wanted ta talk to us."

Josiah felt hope swell in his chest. "Us?"

"Yeah, us." Buck slapped him lightly on the arm. "As in you and me."

Josiah rose to his feet. He followed Buck outside. He was momentarily surprised when instead of heading for the saloon, Buck made for the boarding house. "Buck, where did Ezra say he wanted to talk to us?"

"Chris’ room. Vin wants to be there." Buck shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. Josiah envied the ladies man’s relaxed attitude. He wished he felt as blasé about this meeting as Buck seemed to be. There was just too much at stake for him to take it lightly.

Josiah thought it made sense for Vin to be present. The tracker was able to reach Ezra last night. And Chris made a point of leaving Ezra with Vin. Seems ta me that means Vin knows more than the rest of us already. He likely wants to be there to support Ezra. And as much as it pains me to consider it, Vin might think he has to be there to protect Ezra from me.

Josiah swallowed hard at that thought. It hurt worse to think that Ezra might feel the need to be protected from him. He sighed silently, vowing to stay true to the resolutions he’d made earlier, and kept pace with Buck as they headed up the street.

Wonder how Vin is feeling this morning? Josiah felt a momentary flash of shame. He hadn’t even thought to check on his wounded companion. Although, given the dagger-like looks he’d gotten from Vin before leaving the room last night, it was probably just as well that Josiah hadn’t stopped in to see him. That boy tends to protect those he considered friends with a fierceness that borders on frightening.

When they reached the boarding house, Chris was leaning against the porch railing, an unlit cigar in his mouth. He tipped his head to both of them. "Buck. Josiah."

"Chris." Buck and Josiah answered together.

Chris pulled a match from his pocket and struck it, lighting his cigar. He puffed on it once, looking steadily at Josiah. "You got your head on straight?"

There was no malice in the question. But it was direct, and unflinching. Josiah had no doubt that if he gave the wrong answer, Chris would refuse him entry. He clamped down hard on the anger that flared in him. It was insulting to be taken to task by a man more than ten years his junior. He reminded himself forcibly that it was a valid concern. None of them wanted a repeat of last night. And his wallowing in self-pity in the saloon hadn’t spoken well of him.

In a moment of insight, Josiah realized he was more embarrassed than angry. It was his own fault that Chris even had cause to ask. Forcing himself to make eye contact and hold it, putting aside his anger and embarrassment, Josiah nodded. He knew the gunslinger was doing what he felt was best, and having followed the man this far, Josiah figured he might as well continue to let the younger man lead.

"All right then." Chris puffed his cigar again. "Let’s go hear what the man has to say." He turned and headed inside. Buck waved a hand, letting Josiah precede him.

Chris rapped his knuckles lightly against door. Ezra opened the door a moment later. Josiah studied him carefully as Chris and Buck stepped in. Boy sure looks better today. The big man was somewhat disappointed that Ezra’s expression was blandly neutral. He could read nothing from it. Not that I ever really could. Unnatural for a man to have that much control over himself.

Ezra moved to stand near the head of the bed, near where Vin was sitting in the bed. He leaned casually against the wall, but Josiah didn’t miss the look that passed between the gambler and the tracker. It was a request for reassurance and it seemed to be freely given. They didn’t physically touch, but there was no mistaking a connection existed between them.

Buck stepped to the left of the door, and took up a position similar to Ezra’s by leaning against the wall, his arms folded across his chest. Chris sat at the foot of the bed, leaving the chair for Josiah. Josiah stepped toward it hesitantly. The chair had been moved so that it was now almost in the center of the room. The ex-preacher wasn’t entirely comfortable taking what amounted to being the center of attention, but it was obvious that’s where he was expected to sit.

Ezra smiled slightly. "Have no fear, Mr. Sanchez, this will not be an execution. Nor will judgement be passed." He waved an elegant hand toward the chair. "Please…sit."

Josiah looked dubious, but sat down. He faced Ezra, and tried to ignore the assessing looks he was getting from Vin. The tracker reminded him of a mountain lion stalking its prey. The look from Chris was only slightly better.

Ezra took a deep breath, and straightened, pulling away from the wall to face Josiah squarely. "Mr. Sanchez, my behavior last night was inexcusable."

"No, Ezra. It wasn’t your—"

The gambler held up a hand, stopping Josiah from saying anything else. "I would have killed you, Mr. Sanchez. Make no mistake." Ezra’s jade green eyes regarded him calmly, unflinching. He wasn’t apologizing, merely stating a fact. "That I may have felt there was just cause to warrant such an extreme action is immaterial. The fact remains, I was very close to terminating your existence."

Josiah swallowed hard. "I’m sorry."

"As am I, Mr. Sanchez, also very sorry about what occurred." Ezra’s expression soften, warming into something far more open than it had been just a moment ago. It eased some of the tightness Josiah had felt in his chest ever since Buck had some to the church to get him.

"Shouldn’t have happened." Josiah tried to convey how much he regretted his actions through that statement.

"No. It should not have." Ezra agreed. "However, the fault is not entirely yours." Ezra again held up a hand stopping Josiah from speaking. "You were the catalyst, but the entire reaction was by no means solely your fault."

The look on Vin’s face clearly said he disagreed with that sentiment. Chris looked slightly more forgiving. Josiah still blamed himself, even if neither Ezra nor Chris seemed to. It may not have been entirely his fault, but Ezra wasn’t to blame either.

"Catalyst?" Buck asked quietly. Josiah had almost forgotten he was there.

Ezra’s gaze flickered toward Buck. "Dynamite by itself is not always dangerous. It can often be bandied about harmlessly. However, use the right catalyst," Ezra shrugged, "say a match, and it becomes explosive."

"So you were like dynamite?"

Ezra tipped his head. "And Mr. Sanchez unwittingly provided the appropriate spark to—"

"Make ya explode." Buck finished for him.

"Exactly."

Chris spoke softly, his tone encouraging, non-judgemental. "And none of us really want to have that happen again. It’s why we’re here."

Chris’ tone might be reassuring, but Vin had yet to completely thaw. The big man was uncomfortable being under the silent, unwavering gaze of the tracker on the bed. He didn’t know what the Texan was looking for, but he hoped Vin found it soon. The stare was beginning to unnerve Josiah.

Ezra sighed. "Mr. Larabee is correct. A repeat of last night is desirous to no one. The best way to prevent such a reoccurrence is to explain why it happened in the first place. Forewarned is forearmed."

"I don’t need to know." Josiah shook his head. He’d already made that mistake.

Ezra raised an eyebrow. "But you still WANT to know." The statement was issued half challenge and half question.

Josiah opened his mouth to deny it, but snapped it shut again. He couldn’t lie. He did want to know. It was obvious that Chris and Vin knew already. If he were honest with himself, Josiah didn’t like being left out. He also didn’t want to make the same mistake twice, but he couldn’t say for certain what it was exactly that he had done wrong. Best to know the reason. If I can avoid the cause, then I won’t have to avoid the affect in the future.

Ezra sent a look toward Vin. Josiah could almost see a conversation going on between them. The tracker nodded, and Ezra’s attention shifted back to Josiah. He studied the older man for several minutes. Just when Josiah was beginning to think Ezra had changed his mind, the gambler began to speak.

"You must understand, Mr. Sanchez, that over the course of my life, I have had many would be paternal figures." Ezra smiled sadly, green eyes dulled by some dark emotion. "Not all of them were what most would consider well suited to the task."

"Which means what exactly?" Buck asked.

Vin shifted slightly. He looked as though he wanted to answer the question, but Chris laid a hand his leg, and shook his head slightly. The gunslinger pointed toward Ezra with his chin. Josiah understood the message, just as quickly as Vin had. It was Ezra’s story, let him tell it.

If Ezra was aware of that by-play he didn’t show it. He answered Buck’s question with one of his own. "You are familiar with how Mr. Grayson treated his wife?"

Buck nodded. Ezra looked at him, and waited. Josiah made the connection even faster than Buck.

It took Josiah less time because he had been a witness at Eric Grayson’s murder trial four months ago.

Grayson had lived in the area for years. He frequently came to town, usually getting roaring drunk, and often violent when he did. No one really thought much of it, seeing him as just a man who couldn’t hold his liquor. Usually one of the peacekeepers threw him in jail to sleep it off.

In all the time he lived near Four Corners, Eric rarely brought his wife to town. Evelyn Grayson was a small woman, with warm brown eyes, who seemed very shy, almost reclusive. She was very soft spoken, and never seemed to make eye contact. Riding on patrol, Josiah had made a point of stopping in to visit her just to check to she how she was doing. Evelyn was hesitant to visit with the peacekeeper, and always encouraged him to be on his way before her husband appeared. It had seemed odd to Josiah, but he hadn’t questioned her about it. He never saw Evelyn without a cut or bruise of some kind. She claimed to be clumsy, prone to accidents. She remained true to that claim, right up to the day when Eric beat her to death.

Josiah paled thinking about the way she had looked when they found her. She was nearly unrecognizable. Eric was drunk at the time. He had ranted and raved about how it was her wanton ways that caused it. She was always making eyes at other men. He couldn’t trust her to be true to him. Insisted he had to keep her at the ranch to keep her faithful. He said he’d been trying to beat the devil out of her for years. He seemed morbidly proud of the fact that he had finally succeeded.

"Please tell me it was never that bad." Josiah whispered in a hoarse plea. Please dear God. How could someone do such a thing to a child? A spanking is one thing…but to beat an innocent?

Ezra shifted uncomfortably, putting himself closer to where Vin now sat near the edge of the bed. Josiah hadn’t even been aware of Vin moving so that he now sat within arms reach of Ezra. Ezra shrugged his shoulders, as though trying to ease some tension that had taken up residence.

"Obviously it was never that extreme," Ezra said, his voice overly calm, totally lacking inflection. "I would not be standing here before you if it had been."

"But is was close." Buck said, a stricken look on his face. The happy go lucky ladies man looked a little green. His hands were bunched into fists.

Ezra licked his lips, and looked away. "Suffice it to say…there were incidents of sufficient frequency, and severity, as to have made me extremely wary of unwanted physical contact. A habit that persists, despite the fact I am now fully equipped to defend myself. And even when no threat to my person is intended."

Josiah winced, and hung his head. I just kept pushing all those buttons. Invaded his space. Made him feel vulnerable, threatened. Lord! It is a wonder he didn’t blow up sooner.

Ezra’s expression turned wry. "I have a similar revulsion to being addressed as ‘son’, although for slightly different reasons."

Ezra cleared his throat, his eyes focused on a spot on the far wall. "Last night I was overwrought, and tired. Combined with my past experience, I reacted badly. It does me no credit, that in such a state, I mistook Josiah for one of my past paternal figures. And lashed out accordingly. I was rather…more forceful in stating my case than the situation required."

Ezra shuddered, his face paling slightly. Vin reached out to touch his arm, drawing Ezra’s attention to him. The ice in his eyes had melted, warming from the silver white that had been boring into Josiah, to a sky blue as he studied the gambler. "You okay?"

Ezra nodded. "Fine." The succinct reply indicated he was anything but fine. Still, no one in the room called him on it. Ezra took a deep breath. He refocused his attention on Josiah.

"I bear you no ill-will, Josiah. Please believe me. I deeply regret my actions last night."

Josiah relaxed at hearing Ezra use his first name. Twice now. He’s used it twice. He hugged that fact to him, and hoped it was a positive sign.

"You’re not angry with me then?" Josiah wanted to be very clear about that.

"No." Ezra smiled. "It was never you. It is not your fault that you bear a resemblance to someone of less sterling character and gentle nature than yourself. Had I explained myself sooner, much of what transpired could have been avoided."

"You shouldn’t have to explain, Ezra." Josiah closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief. "I should have been a better friend." Enough self-pity, old man. You’ve been given a second chance. Do not waste it. He opened his eyes, startled when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. He looked up into Ezra’s pensive eyes.

"Given how badly I behaved the previous evening, I’ll understand if you no longer wish to continue our association, Mr. Sanchez. Having a fellow peacekeeper assault you is hardly conducive to a positive work environment. Miscreants and villains provide ample hostility without my adding to it."

"What?" Josiah surged out of the chair, afraid Ezra was planning to leave. Ezra immediately backed away, moving well out of arm’s reach. Chris also came to his feet, eyes darting from one man to the other, trying to gauge the need to intervene. Vin swung both legs off the bed, just as ready as Chris to protect and defend Ezra. Buck stepped closer, moving away from the wall.

Josiah held up both hands palm out, letting the smaller man know he had meant no harm. He focused on Ezra, ignoring Chris, Vin and Buck. Ezra was more important. The gambler watched him with wary eyes, but Josiah was relieved to see he hadn’t drawn a weapon.

"I’m sorry, so…Ezra. Didn’t mean to startle you."

Ezra nodded. He waved a hand in a dismissive motion. "No harm done." He made a ‘stay’ gesture with his hand toward Vin, keeping the tracker on the bed, before sending a rueful glance at Josiah. "I am a bit… jumpy."

"Not without good reason." Josiah sighed. "Your offer took me by surprise. Wasn’t expecting that." The former preacher admitted with a shake of his head. He looked toward Chris, sending an apology with his eyes for moving so suddenly and startling Ezra. Chris nodded, letting Josiah know he understood this was unfamiliar territory for all of them. Josiah wasn’t sure if he was up to facing the wrath he thought would be lurking in Vin’s eyes. He felt Buck move forward to stand next to him. A hand patted his shoulder, and squeezed. Bless you, Brother.

"I don’t want you to leave." Josiah stated firmly. "I don’t want you to quit, either."

Ezra pursed his lips, watching Josiah suspiciously, clearly looking for the angle. "What do you want?"

"A chance to start over." Josiah said softly. "Start out fresh."

Ezra nodded slowly. "I, too, would appreciate the opportunity to wipe the slate clean."

Josiah grinned. Thank you, God. He held out his right hand. "Josiah Sanchez."

Ezra hesitated for just a second, eyebrows raised. His eyes lit up with their usual inner amusement, even though his countenance remained unchanged. He shook Josiah’s hand. "Ezra P. Standish. A pleasure to meet you, sir."

Josiah chuckled. He successfully resisted the urge to bow. He sobered slightly, blue eyes still focused on Ezra. "Are we okay?" He made a meaningless gesture with his hand trying to grasp the right words to explain himself. "I know this is just the first step, but I want to make sure we’re headed in the right direction before we get too far." Not like we did the last time, with me thinkin’ one thing and him thinkin’ another.

"I believe so." Ezra smiled. "Only time will tell, but this is an auspicious beginning. And I do believe we are headed in the right direction."

Josiah nodded. It had certainly gone better than he expected. Far better than I dared hope. He had wanted to pull the smaller man into a tight hug, but restrained himself. Maybe one day. But not today.

Josiah glanced toward Chris. The gunslinger smiled slightly and tipped his head. It was enough to let Josiah know the other man had accepted this resolution, and was comfortable with it. A peaceful solution was what they all wanted.

With a bit more apprehension he looked at Vin. The tracker regarded him steadily. He didn’t look angry or hostile, simply resolute. "Long as it don’t happen again." Vin stated softly, a promise easily discernible.

Josiah understood. Vin is just looking out for Ezra. Every man should have a friend that sticks by him. It doesn’t appear that Ezra has had much of that in the past. Josiah hoped that he’d have the chance to prove himself worthy of the same level of trust that Ezra had placed in Vin.

Buck slapped him on the back. "Glad that’s settled then." The lanky cowboy sounded almost as relieved as Josiah felt. Josiah realized Buck had been more nervous about this meeting than he’d let on.

"As am I, Mr. Wilmington." Ezra said with a small smile. "As am I."

Josiah straightened. "I better get to work." He had afternoon patrol, and he was already late. Josiah moved toward the door. Sooner we get back on an even keel the better. Best way ta do that is to move forward. Take it a day at a time.

He halted at the door, and turned back around. "Ezra?"

"Yes, Mr. Sanchez?"

"Will you be eatin’ with us tonight?"

Ezra looked at him, a small frown forming between his brows. "I had intended to."

"Good." Josiah nodded, pleased. Getting back on an even keel meant doing some of the things they normally did and that included eating together. "I’ll see you then."

Ezra smiled and raised to fingers to his forehead in his characteristic salute. "Until then, Mr. Sanchez."

Josiah stepped outside and took a deep breath. He sent a small prayer of thanks heavenward. He asked for strength that he not fall back into old habits, and help in staying true to his resolutions. A clean slate…a new beginning…a second chance. The day suddenly seemed brighter than it had.

*******

Buck watched Josiah leave. He was pleased that kicked puppy look was gone. He’d been worried that things might not work out as well as they had. Josiah looked like he’d done some deep thinking last night, and Buck had been pleased to see he wasn’t wallowing in self-pity but looking forward. Things woulda been a damn sight different he’d been the same way today that he was last night. And if Ezra hadn’t been as willin’ ta let it go.

He glanced toward Ezra. "Was a good thing ya did."
Ezra raised an eyebrow. "What was?"

"Agreeing ta start over. Clean slate." Buck paused for a beat. "That, and tellin’ him why. Know ya didn’t have to. But it sure makes things easier for him knowin’ it weren’t him that you were upset with. Josiah needed that."

Buck felt his respect for the gambler go up a notch. Don’t think I’d a been able ta tell anybody that. No way in hell. An’ I’m sure this ain’t the first time today he’s had to go over this. Weren’t neither Vin or Chris looking too surprised by what Ezra had ta say. Leastwise they didn’t look as kicked in the gut as I felt.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "There really was no other option, Mr. Wilmington."

Buck snorted. If anyone would know what choices were ta be had, it’d be Ezra. Boy can always see all the angles "Yeah, there was. Jus’ real glad ya picked the one ya did."

Ezra tipped his head in acknowledgement of Buck’s statement. "All is well that ends well. Or so I’ve been told."

Buck rubbed the back of his neck. There was something still bothering him. He wasn’t sure if he should ask or not. Chris’ had made it sound that all they would get here today was what Ezra was willing to give. Only one way to find out if he’d be willing to give me more. They’ll tell me no if its off limits.

Taking the bull by the horns, Buck asked, "Y’all mind if I ask a question?"

Chris looked askance at Ezra. Clearly the decision was up to the younger man. Vin and Ezra traded a look. Would love to know what they are sayin’ with jus’ their eyes like that. Hell, I thought it was jus’ Chris and Vin who did that damn talkin’ without sayin’ a word.

Vin lifted one shoulder in an eloquent shrug, clearly leaving it up to Ezra. The gambler cocked his head, biting his lower lip before nodding sharply once. He resumed leaning against the wall, his pose was relaxed but Buck could feel some tension radiating from him. Ezra gestured toward the chair. "Have a seat."

Buck eyed the chair. Can see why Josiah wasn’t too keen on sittin’ there. Feels weird bein’ in the center o’ the room. Buck turned it around so he straddled the seat, and leaned crossed arms across the back, facing Ezra. He’d much rather be pacing, but having seen Ezra’s reaction to Josiah’s sudden movement earlier, Buck figured sitting would probably be for the best.

Chris sat back down on the bed, and waited, puffing once on his still burning cigar. Vin stayed within arms reach of Ezra. Buck caught the warning look Vin sent his way. He would tread lightly or else. Buck nodded, letting Vin know he got the message. He wasn’t planning to upset the gambler. Tricky part will be stickin’ ta the plan. Won’t know if I’m gonna upset him until I get there. Jus’ have to take it slow and easy.

Buck decided to start an item Ezra had already covered before moving forward. "Ya said there were several father types who weren’t real good at the job."

Ezra nodded. "Yes, there were."

"And ya said it happened…" Buck hesitated searching for the words Ezra had used. "With sufficient frequency. Means it happened more than once, right?"

Ezra hesitated for a moment before answering, his brow furrowed slightly. "Yes."

Buck took a breath and ordered his thoughts. He wanted to understand what had gone on. Needed to understand so that he could watch out in the future, and prevent what happened last night from ever happening again. He couldn’t quite shake the feeling that there was a lot Ezra had left out. He told us the bare bones, but that don’t mean it’s enough to keep things from getting out of hand in the future. And even though Chris and Vin seem ta know a lot more, that don’t mean they’ll be around the next time.

Josiah and Ezra might have come to some sort of agreement, but the habits of a lifetime didn’t change that quickly. Or at least they never had in Buck’s experience. He knew Josiah might have been inclined to ask more questions, if the bigger man wasn’t so concerned with getting back on even keel with Ezra. Or quite so taken with Maude. Doubt he’s ever gonna see her as doin’ wrong. Man is just too taken with her.

Buck took a breath. He licked his lips nervously. Ain’t no way ta ask this but ta just spit it out. "So where the hell was Maude when all this was goin’ on?" He flung out a hand adding emphasis to the question, keeping himself seated with an effort. He couldn’t imagine a mother over looking someone beating her child. His own mother had defended him with all the ferocity of a mother grizzly when she thought he needed her protection.

"When she was here, she made it sound like you two were together all the time. Why didn’t she do anything?" Buck felt a flare of anger, and added another question, hoping it would explain things. "Or was they beatin’ on her too?"

The thought of a woman being beaten made Buck as livid as the thought of a child suffering the same way. Women were to be treated with respect and courtesy. They were what made life worth living, added beauty and grace to the world, and it would be wrong to treat them any other way. And children were precious. Buck still remembered Chris’ son, Adam, as a bright light in his life. The boy had made him feel like there was nothing he couldn’t do. Adam trusted him completely and he had tried his level best to live up to it.

Ezra smiled tightly. "My mother was where she has always been during the events of great import in my life….elsewhere. We were not together all the time as my mother implied. We were not even together most of the time."

Buck shook his head, not understanding. That don’t make sense. "But if she were married ta these fellas—"

"She wasn’t married to them, Mr. Wilmington." Ezra interrupted, his tone cool as he corrected Buck’s assumption. "I said they were paternal figures. They were not step-fathers. Each was the man of the house wherever I happened to be residing at the time. The authority figure, a surrogate father, if you will, acting out a part for so long as it suited them."

Buck turned that idea over in his mind. He could understand the concept. At the house where he grew up there were a lot of men who came to call. Some of them would take the time to act fatherly toward him. At least while the girls were busy with someone else. None of them ever paid attention to him for long, a fact that as he grew older, he was grateful for.

Buck looked toward Chris, wondering if he should continue. His old friend’s look clearly left it up to him, but repeated Vin’s earlier warning to tread lightly. Buck nodded. Message received. He really only had one more question.

"Did Maude know?" Maybe she just wasn’t aware it was goin’ on. Ez said she wasn’t there much, so maybe she missed it.

Ezra shrugged. "If she does not it is because she did not wish to."

Buck frowned. He looked toward Chris again, hoping for some guidance on how to interpret that answer. The gunslinger’s jaw tightened. Buck was surprised he didn’t hear teeth grinding. He cast a quick glance toward Vin, but Vin’s gaze was on Ezra. The tracker was watching Ezra like a hawk. No help there.

"You didn’t tell her?" Buck asked, feeling his way though what Ezra had said.

Ezra’s mouth quirked upward in a sardonic smile. "No. I didn’t tell her."

"Why not?" Buck demanded, shocked that Ezra hadn’t spoken up. There was nothing he wouldn’t have told his mother. They shared nearly everything while he was growing up. She was the guiding force in his life almost to the day she died. Maude woulda been able to do something about it. Put a stop to it if she knew. It’s what momma’s are s’posed to do.

Ezra shook his head, his expression turning self-mocking. "It didn’t matter, nor was it important."

"Huh?" Buck shook his head. That answer didn’t clear up anything. "How the hell could it not be important?" This makes less sense by the minute. "What’d ya mean it didn’t matter? O’ course, it mattered."

Ezra’s eyes fixed Buck in place. There was a bleakness in those green orbs Buck had never seen before. It scared him. "Were it important, I’m sure my mother would have asked how it came about that I managed to blacken both eyes at the same time. Or questioned how I broke ribs on both my right and left side. Found it curious as to why my bruises seemed to always be shaped like a hand." Ezra shrugged. The gesture lacked the usual grace and easy movement that typified the gambler’s usual movements.

"I frequently wore the evidence on my person. It was there for her to see whenever she deigned to allow me time in her company." Ezra took a deep breath, and then another. He seemed to be having some trouble maintaining control. Something Buck could sympathize with. Sitting still right now was rating as one of the hardest things he’d ever done. He wanted to shout, to hit something, to hurt someone but stayed seated, fingers gripping the chair with a white-knuckled hold.

Ezra continued, his expression completely blank, eyes now firmly fixed on the far wall. "There is no one I’ve yet met with a sharper eye for details than my mother, Mr. Wilmington. And yet, she never asked. Not once. It only concerned her when excuses for my appearance were needed. Many believed me a clumsy, accident prone child."

Buck swallowed hard. "Why didn’t she just keep you with her?" Keep you safe like she should have.

Ezra shrugged. "A child can be rather inconvenient, Mr. Wilmington. Mother needed her freedom." Ezra’s voice stayed painfully neutral. He could be discussing the weather for all the more inflection his voice held.

"She always told me that she’d done her best to find some place suitable. That I should not fuss too much, or be a nuisance. She counseled me to that I would do well to count my blessings such nice, charitable people would be willing to take me in during her hour of need. I was under no circumstances to behave in any fashion that would cause them to reconsider their generous offer. If they felt my actions required punishment, then as a gentlemen in training, I was to endure with the good grace I would be expected to display later as an adult."

Buck rocked back in his seat, and stared at Ezra. He looked away, and was caught in Vin’s gaze. He knew right then Maude might well be in danger if she set foot in Four Corners again. The tracker’s eyes held a banked, but deadly rage. Buck glanced toward Chris. The look in his eyes matched Vin’s. Lord help that woman if she ever comes ta call again. Gotta wonder what I look like right now. And hell, I don't hold with hittin’ a woman, but I’d slap her silly right now.

When Vin’s gaze narrowed, Buck realized it was time to drop this, or it wouldn’t be just Maude in a world of hurt. He didn’t want that hostility turned on him. And he couldn’t see where pushing this any further helped anyone. He knew enough.

Even before he got the chance to voice his decision, Vin was moving. The tracker reached out, his hand encircling one of Ezra’s wrists. "Ez?"

Ezra glanced toward Vin. He seemed to pull his focus away from the fall wall with difficulty. "Yes, Vin?"

"You don’t have to talk about this any more." Vin’s tone was firm, with a soft note of concern underscoring it. His expression was on of reassurance, offering comfort both words and touch.

Ezra nodded. He smiled wanly, tipping his head toward Buck. "I believe that decision is someone else’s to make."

"That’s okay, Ez." Buck was quick to offer. He sighed. "I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked."
"It wasn’t the question that proved difficult, Mr. Wilmington. But rather the answer." Ezra chuckled softly, the sound lacking any real humor. "Got more than you thought you would?"

Buck nodded, relieved that at least Ezra wasn’t mad at him. "Looks like we both might have." Boy looks as pale as a sheet. "I just—"

Ezra held up a hand, and spoke tiredly. "I know, Mr. Wilmington." Ezra rubbed at his yes. "I know. You undertook this line of questioning with the best of intentions."

Yeah, and they say the road to hell is made with good intentions. Looks like I built a few miles o’ road today. "I’m still sorry." Buck offered remorsefully.

Ezra waved his free hand in a dismissive gesture. "No need. You did nothing wrong."

"I think you need ta sit down, Ez." Vin tugged on Ezra’s wrist. Ezra went willingly, and sat on the bed. The gambler sighed, and leaned back, so that he rested shoulder to shoulder with Vin. Ezra seemed almost to gather strength from being near Vin.

Seeing them sitting together, reminded Buck of his earlier musings. I think I get it. Didn’t until just now, but I think I got all the pieces put together. Trouble is there ain’t but one way to know for sure. Chris did tell me this mornin’ that I’d have to ask them if I wanted to know what was going on. I already made one wrong assumption today. Don’t want to run around thinking something that ain’t right. Now probably ain’t the right time, but I’m not sure what the right time would be. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.

With a no small amount of trepidation, Buck asked hesitantly, "Would it be all right for me to ask another question?"

Chris looked ready to stand up and slap him, and Vin was shooting daggers with his eyes, but Ezra laughed lightly. The sound was totally incongruous given Ezra’s appearance just a second ago. The sound was one of honest amusement. Ezra raised an eyebrow. "Feeling very brave, are you?"

"Not really." Buck admitted with a small smile. "Just figured while I was already on a roll, I might as well stick with it." He sent a rueful glance toward Chris, and then Vin. "I’m already digging myself in a hole."

"Keep digging and you might end up in China." Chris growled.

Buck ignored him, keeping his focus on Vin and Ezra, knowing the decision rested with them. Ezra cocked his head to one side, his expression thoughtful. "I have heard that Fortune favors the brave. Let us see how she feels about the foolhardy." Ezra waved a hand as though giving Buck the floor. "You had another question?"

"How long have you and Vin been together?" Buck kept the question casual. He didn’t have a problem with it two men being in a relationship. Given where he grew up, Buck had seen nearly all walks of life, and learned far greater tolerance than most expected from him.

"Together?" Vin asked. The tracker looked wary. Buck noticed he had relinquished his hold on Ezra’s wrist, their fingers were now intertwined. Wonder if they even realize they’re holdin’ hands?

"Yeah, together." Buck held both hands out in front of him, and deliberately laced his fingers. "Lovers."

Chris stiffened, dark blues eyes snapping with warning. "Buck…that maybe something best left for another—"

"Chris." Ezra stopped the gunslinger with just his name. Buck was impressed. Hell would probably stop me cold him using my first name. Don’t think he’s ever used it when it weren’t a life and death situation.

Ezra gave Chris a very pointed look. "The man asked, the same way you did. He deserves an answer, just as you were given one."

Buck raised both eyebrows. Amazed that Ezra had just put Chris in his place, something few people had ever done successfully in the past. And it wasn’t like Chris to ask questions about someone’s personal business. Man gets nasty when people butt inta his business. Sort o’ makes a point o’ respecting other peoples’ privacy thinkin’ they’ll do the same for him.

Buck looked at Chris. "You asked ‘em? Jus’ how long have you known?"

Chris scowled. "That doesn’t matter."

"Doesn’t matter?" Buck snorted. "Ya coulda jus’ told me, ya know, stead o’ let me fumble around on my own. Woulda saved me a whole lot o’ trouble."

"No, he couldn’t." Vin stated quietly. "We asked him not to."

Buck shot a look toward the tracker. "Why?" He was hurt that they hadn’t wanted to include him. "I thought we was friends. Ya could a told me when ya told Chris."

"It isn’t personal, Mr. Wilmington." Ezra offered, his soft drawl carrying a clear not of sincerity. He made eye contact and held it. "Vin and I were hesitant to make any announcement, being uncertain of the reaction we would encounter. A relationship such as ours is hardly likely to be well received by all. The last thing we wanted was to cause a disruption that might necessitate our leaving Four Corners."

Buck nodded slowly. He could see that. Folks could be stupid ‘bout a lot o’ things. It bothered him that he might have been lumped in that same category. Thought they knew me better’n that.

Some of his hurt leaked into his next questions. "You thought I’d give you a hard time?"

Vin shrugged. "Not really." The tracker’s blue eyes regarded him steadily, open and honest. "Jus’ didn’t want ta risk it. Would be a lot to lose. Got friends here. This place is home. Ain’t that we didn’t trust ya, Buck, we jus’ didn’t want to make a mistake. Couldn’t afford to."

Buck could see his point. If he had been stupid or hostile, Vin and Ezra had a lot to lose. But then so did the team if they left. They made the team whole, made it work. Buck was pretty sure the destiny Josiah talked about wouldn’t fly with just five of them.

Ez said ‘our leaving’. Means he and Vin would go together if someone raised a stink. Would be bad enough if it were one of the town folk, but it would be real damn painful, if the one to raise the stink was one o’ us. Neither man struck him as the sort to give his affections lightly. That they would choose each other over the town, and the team, didn’t surprise him at all. He felt like he needed to apologize again for putting his foot in it, but Ezra held up a hand, keeping him silent. Shoulda just kept my mouth shut.

"Mr. Wilmington, while we made no plans to inform anyone, that does not mean we are regret having shared this with you. Both Vin and I, felt it best to wait for our comrades to raise the issue, ask the questions. Then endeavor to answer it honestly when one of you did." Ezra further explained. "It was not our intention to live a lie, or keep our involvement a secret, merely to wait for someone else to raise the issue and address it when he seemed ready to discuss it."

The gambler smiled, looking contrite. "To be perfectly honest, you are taking this revelation far better than I’d anticipated."

Buck pursed his lips. Can’t decide if I’ve jus’ been insulted or not. "You thought I’d raise hell? Get all righteous on you?"
Vin’s lips curled in a half smile. "Well…you bein’ so focused on the ladies an’ all. Guess neither o’ us thought you’d understand wantin’ ta be with another man. Much less be familiar with the whole idea. Doesn’t seem to be your thing."

Buck chuckled. "Well, for me, you’d be right. It’s not my thing." To Buck there was nothing finer than women. He made no secret of that fact. "Don’t mean I see anything wrong with it though."

Buck shook his head. "Hell, Vin, Ez…you two know where I was raised. I saw a damn sight more, and knew a lot more than I shoulda, all by the time I was wearing long pants."

He couldn’t resist a rakish grin. "I coulda probably give the two o’ you lessons on the subject if ya asked me." Growing up in a cat house sure did give me an education on some of the finer points of loving. No doubt ‘bout that.

"My momma told me the world takes all kinds ta make it work. Long as what two people do ain’t hurtin’ anyone else, its best not ta judge too harshly. Love is just too rare not to grab on to it when it comes around, no matter what form it’s wearin’ at the time."

Ezra shook his head, clearly amazed. "I believe your mother most have been a most remarkable woman, Mr. Wilmington."

Buck grinned, pleased that Ezra was impressed with his mother. "That she was, Ezra. That she was." He still thought the world of his mother even though she’d been dead for years. She was a saint. He waggled his eyebrows. "So…you didn’t answer my question?"

"Which question was that, Mr. Wilmington?"

"How long you been together?"

"Little more than a month." Vin answered.

"Who else knows?" Buck asked curious to see if any of the others had noticed the same things he had. He figured he was likely the last to notice. It wasn’t that he wasn’t observant, it was just that his attention was usually focused elsewhere.

Ezra nodded toward Chris. "Just Mr. Larabee, and now yourself."

Well, I’ll be damned. Thought for sure one of the others woulda caught on. And brought it up. He looked toward Chris. "An’ jus’ when did you notice?"

Chris shifted his weight slightly. The lean gunslinger looked like he might have relaxed for the first time since they entered the room. "Right after they got back from Bitter Creek."

Buck did the math, and realized that meant Chris would have noticed almost as soon as Vin and Ezra had gotten together. Not really a surprise. Chris can be an observant cuss when he wants to. Being so tight with Vin probably clued him in faster.

Buck sent a sly look back at Vin and Ezra. "He take it as well as me?"

Ezra arched an eyebrow sardonically, and Vin rolled his eyes. Buck laughed, and slapped his knee, delighted with what they had to say without saying a word. "I’ll take that as a no."

"Buck." Chris’ tone was enough to let Buck know he should drop it. Buck decided to follow the implied order.

It didn’t surprise the ladies man that Chris might have had problem coming to terms with Vin and Ezra. Or that he might still be touchy over the fact that he’d had a problem with it. Hell, Vin’s his best friend. He was probably jealous of Vin and Ezra being so close. Not that it seems like there’s been any real change in Chris’ friendship with Vin. Leastwise none anyone’s noticed. Just like his friendship with me weathered Vin bein’ added ta the mix. Took a bit to adjust, but no problems now. And it sure looks like he’s okay with Vin and Ez. Wouldn’t have made a point of lettin’ Ez stay last night if he wasn’t. And he’s watchin’ out for ‘em. Wouldn’t do that if he wasn’t okay with it.

Buck stood up, spinning the chair back around once he got to his feet. "Well, boys, that pretty well takes care o’ my questions." He heard Chris mutter something that sound a lot like ‘about damn time.’ But he chose to ignore it.

"We can rely on your discretion in this matter?" Ezra asked, an uneasy undercurrent in his question.

Buck frowned, puzzled by what Ezra had just asked. What the..? Oh. He smiled widely. "No problem, Ez. Understand why ya don’t want everyone ta know."

He ran a thumb over his lover lip thoughtfully. Would be better if the rest o’ us knew, but they’re right about not knowin’ which way a man’ll jump. JD’s a mite young ta really understand. Nate could go either way. And we jus’ fixed things ‘tween Ez and Josiah. Be good ta let that settle for awhile.

"People can be stupid about stuff like this. You’re probably right to wait and answer the questions when they think ta ask." He winked at Ezra. "If they ain’t smart enough ta figure it out, ain’t no reason ta put the idea in their heads."

Buck straightened his spine, and looked at both Vin and Ezra squarely. He wanted there to be no misunderstanding between them, about this. "No one will hear about it from me. It’s up ta you how to play this. Figure it’s your choice, and I can respect that."

"Thank you." Ezra and Vin said in unison.

Buck chuckled, eyes bright with amusement. "Ya might not want to do that too often, or you’ll be getting asked a lot sooner."

Vin shot him a dirty look. One that was seconded by Chris, but Ezra winked slyly at him, green eyes bright with wry amusement. Sometimes his sense of humor and the gambler’s meshed rather well.

"We shall endeavor to practice greater discretion in the future." Ezra raised two fingers and gave his characteristic salute.

Chris rose. He nodded to both younger men. "Boys." And then waved Buck toward the door. "I think, it’s time for us to leave."

Probably more than high time. Buck nodded to both Vin and Ezra. "I’ll see you two at dinner." There was no doubt in Buck’s mind that Vin would find his way free of this room by then. The tracker would be eating with the rest of them no matter what Nathan might have to say. Assuming the healer made it back in time to object.

Buck stepped out, and Chris followed. "Buy you a drink?" Buck offered.

Chris nodded. "Could do with one."

Together they headed toward the saloon. They sat down at their usual table, after Buck picked up a bottle from the bar. As he poured a drink for each of them, Buck shook his head, and laughed lightly. Chris shot him a questioning look.

"Been one hell of a week, hasn’t it?"

Chris chuckled dryly. "That it has."

Buck raised his glass and Chris gently touched his glass to it. "Here’s hopin’ we never have another one like it."

"Amen." Chris answered as they both downed their shots.

*******

Vin watched as Ezra locked the door behind Chris and Buck. He waited for the gambler to make his way back over, and join him on the bed. Ezra sat down, and Vin pulled him in close, hugging his lover to him. He raised one hand to gently encourage Ezra to lay his head on Vin’s shoulder, both of them resting against the headboard.

Vin reveled in the moment of quiet companionship. Somehow being together, just the two of them, always seemed to make it easier to deal with the stress of their lives. Vin sighed softly, hoping it would work as well this time as it had in the past. He smiled when he felt Ezra relaxing in his arms. Looks like it still works.

"That went well." Ezra spoke, his tone contemplative, voice soft, as he snuggled in closer.

"Not bad." Vin agreed, running his fingers through Ezra’s hair in a steady, soothing gesture, encouraging his lover to let go of his left over tension.

"Josiah wanting to start over was not quite an option I’d realistically considered. It was in fact, a far better outcome than I’d anticipated." There was a touch of amazement in Ezra’s statement. "I had not expected him to be so…forgiving."

Vin snorted. "Weren’t nothing to forgive."

"Just the small fact that I would have shot and killed him." The sarcasm was heavy. "Nothing at all, really." Ezra lightly slapped Vin’s chest as a reprimand, but didn’t pull out of his arms or move away.

Vin put a finger against Ezra’s lips when he felt the gambler was about to say more. "Didn’t mean what you thought I meant." Vin shifted, pulling away slightly so he could make eye contact. He needed to make Ezra understand that he wasn’t placing all the blame on Josiah, and that he wasn’t holding a grudge. He was willing to let bygones be bygones, just so long as it didn’t happen again.

Vin took a moment to order the words in his head. He wanted to get this out right the first time. "A man should be grateful when someone points out the error o’ his ways, and keeps him from hurting someone else, even if it ain’t what he wants to hear. ‘Specially, when he don’t want to hear it. Took a lot ta get Josiah’s attention, Ez. Lookin’ down the barrel of a gun tends ta make a man sit up and take notice. I know ya think if you’d have spoke up sooner, told him everything you did today, all this coulda been avoided, but I ain’t so sure that’s the case."

Vin shook his head slightly. "Honestly, Ez, I’m not sure he ever would have listened any other way." With a small smile, Vin moved his fingers to caress Ezra’s cheek. "Looks ta me like he did some hard thinkin’ last night, ‘cause he finally had a reason to. He said he didn’t think you were at fault. So it’s safe ta say he finally understood what he did wrong."

Vin put one finger to Ezra’s lips keeping the gambler silent when he opened his mouth to speak. "I know it wasn’t all him. I do know that Ez. But it wasn’t all you either. Needin’ forgiveness says ya did somethin’ wrong…and I’m not so sure ya did. Way ya went ‘bout it might a been wrong, but it did need doin’. Wasn’t right to let him keep hurtin’ you, even though he didn’t mean to. You both…made a mistake. All there was left to do was make it right."

Ezra sighed softly, leaning into Vin’s touch when he moved his hand to cup Ezra’s face. Vin bent his head to place a light kiss on Ezra’s forehead. "Buck’s right. This coulda gone a lot o’ ways, and getting the chance to start over is probably the best one. No point in thinkin’ too hard on what didn’t happen, and just focus on what did."

Ezra chuckled, green eyes warm with affection, and respect. "Were you always this smart?"

"Yep." Vin smirked. "Jus’ took you awhile ta notice."

Ezra hugged him hard. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"Just being you." Ezra answered simply. He placed a soft, chaste kiss against Vin’s lips. "Without you, I could not have done this."

Vin studied Ezra’s face, looking for signs of lingering anxiety or anguish. Talking to Josiah and Buck had gotten a bit more intense than they had planned for. Vin had worried about the strain it placed on Ezra. Today was far more intense than they had intended for it to be.

"You okay? I mean, even with me, and Chris here, it got a bit rough for you. Sort a got to be more than we planned." Vin mentally grimaced at that understatement, but relaxed when Ezra laughed.

"I believe that has been true to form for us so far." Ezra shook his head, grinning. "Nothing ever goes quite the way we planned, but it always seems to work out for the best in spite of that. Having achieved such a positive outcome was worth the effort."

Vin grinned back, pleased that Ezra seemed to have recovered his balance. The gambler seemed totally at ease. Don’t think anything can keep him down for long. Wouldn’t have made it this long if he weren’t…resilient. Hah. Another Ezra word I figured out how ta use.

"Buck was bit of a surprise, huh?"

"Oh he was that." Ezra shook his head. "I never would have expected him to be so…accepting of our being together."

Vin felt bad that he’d ever doubted the lanky cowboy. Shoulda had a bit more faith than I did. Course given that Chris didn’t really do so well there for awhile, I s’pose I shouldn’t be too surprised I was shy a tellin’ Buck. Once bitten, twice shy sort o’ thing.

He sighed. "Guess that means we sold Buck short."

"Perhaps." Ezra conceded with a small tip of his head. "But, I don’t think he’s too disappointed. He seemed to understand our reluctance, and was not offended by it." Ezra cocked his head, his expression thoughtful. "He never did say, nor did we think to ask, what it was that gave us away."

Vin considered that, and briefly wondered if he should worry. They both tried not to make any overt display of their feelings, but something must have slipped through. Probably somethin’ little. Has ta be ‘cause it ain’t like I’ve up an’ kissed him on the boardwalk in front of God and everybody. Even though I’d like to someday.

"Chris picked up on stuff we were doin’ that we didn’t even think would give us away. Buck mighta done the same thing."

"An issue we need to look into?" Ezra raised an eyebrow.

Vin shook his head. "Don’t think so. If the others notice the same thing he did, what ever it was, I reckon they’ll ask us when they’re ready."

After a moment of thought, Ezra laughed gently, patting Vin’s chest. "You are probably correct. And broaching the subject will only encourage Buck."

Vin frowned. "Meaning?"

"You do realize that, if given any indication we are open to such conversation, Mr. Wilmington will not be at all shy about asking for details of our love-making. Prying into our preferences, and performance. Giving us advice."

"Oh hell." Vin rolled his eyes with a grimace. "Didn’t think o’ that. Bad enough he always wants ta share his stories." Vin shuddered having heard more than enough of the ladies man’s tales of conquest. Vin was glad he didn’t blush easily or several of Buck’s more graphic stories would have left him as red as Ezra’s favorite jacket.

"You wanna drink?" Vin could do with one. It would certainly make this day and all its revelations easier to handle. Maybe more than one. ‘Specially if it’s Ez’s scotch.

Ezra pursed his lips. "A libation would be most refreshing. Particularly in light of the past hour."

"Good." Vin was pleased they were back on the same page. Almost like he’s readin’ my mind. "Let’s get outta here."

"Are you sure?" Ezra looked pointedly at Vin’s leg.

Vin rolled his eyes. "Ain’t hurt that bad. ‘Sides, I been cooped up in here all day, Ez." Vin managed to keep the whine out of his voice. He didn’t want to sound like a kid pitching a fit. "I was good, damn it. Now, I want out." And the closer I get ta Ez’s room the better. Missed that feather bed.

Ezra smirked, holding both hands in front of him palms out as a sign of surrender. "You must be feeling better."

Vin eyed his lover suspiciously. "This mean I can leave?" He wouldn’t put it past Ezra to try distracting him, or refuse to let him leave if he thought it would be better for Vin to stay put.

Ezra shrugged one shoulder. "I don’t see why not." He grinned, dimples flashing. "Mr. Jackson isn’t here to refuse you. And, as you have already stated, he believes us to be unqualified to render a medical decision." Ezra’s innocent look was back. "In my ignorance, I can hardly be blamed for believing you healthy enough to go to the saloon, enjoy a glass of superb scotch, and a good meal amid the company of friends."

Vin slapped his good leg. "Well, hot damn, then. Let’s get outta here while the getting is good."

Ezra stood up and offered Vin his hand. He helped Vin stand, bracing him until he got his balance settled. His leg hurt, and felt stiff, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle. With Ezra walking at his side, adding support, Vin found he could limp along rather effectively.

Outside he stopped to take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoying being free of four walls and moving more or less under his own power. Ezra just smiled, and waved a hand toward the saloon. "Shall we, Mr. Tanner?"

"We shall, Mr. Standish."

By the time they made it to the saloon Vin was leaning on Ezra less, but his limp was more pronounced as his wounded leg let him know it objected to this activity. They stepped inside and headed for their usual table where Chris and Buck were already seated.

Buck was sitting across the table from Chris, and looked up when the doors swung open. He greeted them with all his usual enthusiasm. Chris just tipped his head. He shoved a chair next to him away from the table with his foot, and gave a pointed look at Vin.

Vin sat down stiffly. He didn’t mind taking weight off his bad leg. It felt good to move, and work out some of the kinks, but he knew not to push it if he didn’t have to. Ezra patted his shoulder as he left the table and headed to the bar. He came back with a bottle and two glasses, taking the seat next to Vin, which coincidently was also next to Buck.

Vin nodded. Don’t know if they planned that, but it works well. Means Josiah can’t sit next ta Ezra when he gets off patrol and joins up with us. Know he means well, and has good intentions, but a little space between him and Ezra right now is probably a good thing. Keep ‘em headed on the right track.

Ezra poured a shot for himself, and then one for Vin. Chris held out his glass in a silent request for a drink. Ezra arched an eyebrow, but filled Chris’ glass without further comment. Buck stared, clearly dumbfounded that Ezra had shared anything with Chris.

Vin ducked his head to hide his smile. Wonder if he’s gonna ask?

"Hey, Ez?"

Vin’s smile grew to a grin. Guess he’s gonna ask.
"Yes, Mr. Wilmington?"
"Can I have a snort o’ that fancy whiskey o’ yours, too?"

Ezra glared at him. "This is not ‘fancy whiskey’, you uncouth heathen." Ezra held up the bottle for emphasis. "This is aged, single-malt scotch. A veritable gift from God."

"That a no?" Buck asked with a grin, totally unrepentant.
Ezra grinned back, gold pre-molar flashing for just a moment. "No." He filled Buck’s shot glass as well. "Perhaps once you have had the opportunity to refine your palate, you will come to appreciate this ambrosia for it’s true worth."

Buck shook his head and laughed, looking skeptical. He took a sip, and his eyebrows rose. He took another. "Nice. Real nice."

Ezra tipped his head in acknowledgement of the compliment, and recorked the bottle. Vin smiled slightly at the faint look of disappointment on Chris’ face. Ez might be willin’ ta share one drink, but he ain’t gonna give ‘em the whole bottle. That thought didn’t bother the tracker much. Stuff costs too much ta just give it away. And it’s awfully hard ta come by out here. This way there’ll some for tomorrow.

Ezra reached into his pocket and with drew a deck of cards. He tapped them once on the table. "A friendly game while we wait for the others?"

"Sure, Ez."

Ezra had only just begun to deal when JD wondered in. Vin noted he didn’t look any worse for wear for having worked all night. Wonder if he caught a nap. Had to have. Only one who o’ us who looks that fresh after being awake all night is Ezra.

"Hi guys."

"Hey kid."

"JD."

"Mr. Dunne."

JD slid into the chair next to Buck. "Just saw Nate riding back in. Looks beat. Was smiling though, so I’m guessing things went okay. Sure hope so. Vin are you supposed to up and about? I mean, it’s good to see you getting around. Must be feelin’ better then, huh? Can’t really blame you for not wanting to hang out at the boarding house. I’d go nuts there all by myself too. But you know Nate ain’t gonna think to much of that idea." JD made a face. "He’ll probably bring more of that nasty tea with him."

JD had spoken with his usual rapid-fire delivery causing the rest of them to share a look of amusement. Vin sometimes found himself wondering if JD managed to breathe at all. Ez can talk a lot, but he spaces his words better. I keep expecting JD to start gasping like a drowning man.

Nate showed up even before they’d finished the first hand. He sat down tiredly, shooting Vin a dirty look. "You shouldn’t be walkin’ around."

Vin gave Nathan a dirty look of his own. "I’m fine, Nate."

"Oh sure you are." Nathan snorted, his disbelief ringing through loud and clear.

"How are the Cavanaugh’s?" Buck asked, redirecting the conversation. Ezra gathered up the cards, preparing to shuffle and deal again, but Vin noticed his attention, like everyone else’s was on Nathan.

"Missus is doin’ just fine." Nathan smiled, white teeth flashing brightly, some of his obvious exhaustion lifting a bit. "Baby is a fighter. Still gonna be tough, but it looks like he just might make it. Will know more in a few days." Nate puffed out his chest ever so slightly. "Named him Nathan. After me."

"Way ta go, Nate." Buck slapped him on the shoulder. JD seconded that enthusiastic endorsement.

Everyone seemed to breath a bit easier, relieved by the cautious but still good news. Vin patted Ezra leg under the table, giving his thigh a gentle squeeze. One less thing ta worry about. Know he would be mighty upset if that little boy died.

Nathan redirected his attention to Vin. Dark eyes assessed him sharply. "You feelin’ all right?"

Vin rolled his eyes. He could appreciate the other man’s concern and dedication, but it got wearing. "I said I was fine."

Nathan’s eyes narrowed slightly, studying Vin, searching for the truth. He sat back and relaxed when he realized Vin hadn’t lied. He smiled slightly, his demeanor apologetic. "Jus’ want to make sure you’re okay, is all."

Vin nodded accepting both the reason and the apology. It’s why I let ya poke and prod me, and drink yer stinky teas. I know ya mean well. Wouldn’t put up with it otherwise.

Nathan yawned widely, belatedly covering his mouth with his hand. "Might want ta get some sleep there, Nate." Buck observed. "Ya look done in."

Nathan nodded, rubbing his eyes. "I will. After I check Vin’s leg."

"It’ll keep, Nate." Chris said softly, his dark blue eyes sizing up the healer. "You been working all night, and all of today. Most of yesterday too. Buck’s right. You should get some rest, maybe a bit to eat too."

"But that bandage really should be changed, and—"

"That task has already been completed, Mr. Jackson." Ezra interjected.

Nathan’s eyes narrowed as he looked toward the gambler. Ezra calmly looked back, placidly shuffling his cards. "You wanna tell me that again?" Nathan asked quietly.

"You did tell Mr. Tanner last night that you wanted to change his bandage today, did you not?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. "I assumed you intended to utilize the cloth you left on Mr. Larabee’s dresser for just that purpose. Since you were not sure of when you might return, I thought it prudent to follow through with the course of treatment you had indicated."

Aw hell. Vin waited to see if Nathan would explode. He don’t like other people treaded on what he thinks is his turf. But hell, Ez did as good a job as Nate would have. Probably shouldn’t say that last bit out loud…ever. Vin gave Nathan a quick once over. He didn’t look pleased, but nor was he as upset as Vin thought he might be

"Wound look okay?" Nathan asked, his tone cool.

"In my opinion…yes." Ezra answered, green eyes never wavering from where they met dark brown. "The wound appears to be healing cleanly. I saw no discoloration or redness. There was no undo swelling, or puss that would indicate infection. Nor does Mr. Tanner have a fever." Ezra bowed his head slightly. "A testament to your abilities as a healer, Mr. Jackson."

Nathan nodded slowly, evidently satisfied, if not totally happy. He sent a look toward Vin. "I’ll check on you tomorrow then." He wagged his finger at the tracker. "Jus’ ‘cause I ain’t pushin’ this don’t mean you need to be runnin’ all over town now, ya hear? I expect you to show some good sense and rest that leg."

Vin nodded, his lips quirking upward in a half-smile. He had no intention of running around town. The furthest he planned to go was upstairs to Ezra’s bed, but he certainly wasn’t going to tell Nathan that.

"We’ll ride herd on him, Nate." Chris stated. There was no mistaking the promise in his voice. "You go get some rest." That was a softly delivered order.

Nathan pushed himself out of his chair with noticeable effort. "I’ll be in the clinic if anyone needs me."

"Sleep well, Nate." Four voices chorused. A fifth called out, "Good night, Mr. Jackson."

The friendly poker game continued until Josiah joined them a little later. Vin noticed Ezra stiffen slightly when the big man stepped through the door, but he didn’t think the others saw it. Vin laid his hand on Ezra’s thigh, and squeezed once. He tried to relay through that simple gesture that Ezra shouldn’t worry. Things are gonna be different from here on out. We’ll make sure of it.

Ezra dropped a hand under the table, his fingers ghosting across Vin’s knuckles in acknowledgement, letting Vin know he’d received the message. He uncorked the Scotch and casually poured himself another shot. Ezra downed the drink in one smooth, long swallow.

Reckon a little liquid courage won’t hurt. Vin wouldn’t mind another shot for himself, but decided not to ask. Sharin’ his liquor was one o’ those things Chris noticed. No point in drawin’ attention to it with JD and Josiah.

The big man stepped toward their table. He hesitated for just a second before taking the chair Nathan had vacated earlier. Vin knew the former preacher realized the seating arrangement might well be deliberate to keep him arms length from Ezra, but to his credit he didn’t seem offended or insulted. Josiah just nodded his understanding toward Buck and Chris. He seemed almost reluctant to make eye contact with Vin. Vin smiled slightly, silently offering his welcome, and saw Ezra do the same.

"Hello, brothers." Josiah offered his usual greeting as he sat down.

Chris and Vin both just nodded. Buck and JD answered him with a loud call of ‘Josiah’. Ezra tipped his head. "Mr. Sanchez."

"How was your patrol?" Buck asked even as he poured a shot from his bottle to offer Josiah.

"Quiet." Josiah answered, accepting the glass with a grateful look. "Things seem to be settling down. Most of the ranchers were relieved to hear the rustlers have been taken care of."

Chris nodded. "Be nice ta have things stay quiet awhile."

"Yeah, the ladies have been missin’ ole Buck." The lanky cowboy grinned widely, brushing his moustache with thumb and forefinger. "Need some time ta get myself reacquainted with the local lovelies."

JD rolled his eyes, and playfully shoved Buck’s shoulder. "Don’t know about the ladies, but I don’t think your neighbors missed hearin’ ya snore, that’s for sure."

Buck retaliated by trying to knock of JD hat. JD successfully dodged his attempt. "I don’t snore." Buck insisted, giving JD a dark look. Vin wasn’t sure if the look was for the comment, or the successful dodge.

Vin shared a look with Chris. "He really think that?" Vin asked in a stage whisper, eyes twinkling with humor. "I thought it was two grizzlies fighting ta the death the first night we were on the trail together."

"Now don’t you start." Buck ordered, shaking his finger at Vin. "I hear enough o’ that from Chris. You boys are jus’ light sleepers."

Chris raised his eyebrows. "Buck, I’ve slept through artillery fire that was quieter than you are."

JD laughed. "See? Told you so."

Ezra shook his head, a small grin beginning. "Mr. Wilmington, I must concur with Mr. Larabee, Mr. Tanner and Mr. Dunne." Ezra paused for a beat. "I’ve heard quieter fright trains."

Buck looked toward Josiah, the only one who hadn’t spoken up yet. "What about you?"

Josiah sipped his drink, and slowly returned it to the table before answering. "I would have to say that I disagree, brother." Buck grinned triumphantly, until Josiah’s next statement. The big man smiled enigmatically before speaking again. "You are louder than any of the comparisons they made. I’d liken it more to being caught in the middle of a herd of stampeding buffalo."

Buck sniffed and made a dismissive motion with his hand. "You boys are just jealous."

"Of what, pray tell?" Ezra asked sending a sly wink toward the others, including Josiah. Vin could almost see the ex-preacher relax at being included in that gesture. "You’re ability to frighten wildlife for ten miles or more."

Buck puffed out his chest. "My animal magnetism. My prowess with the fairer sex."

Chris snorted, a faint smile playing about his lips. "Prowess? You even know what that means?"

The conversation continued in a light-hearted fashion, with a lot of good-natured teasing, which carried on even while they ate. Vin could almost feel them slipping back into a groove of normal behavior. The only off note was a slightly more cordial, polite attitude that Josiah maintained with Ezra.

It wasn’t glaringly obvious, but Vin could tell the older man was far more attentive than he’d been in the past. Josiah was feeling his way along, and Ezra was offering subtle encouragement. A nod, a smile, a little tease here and there, all helped put Josiah at ease, and let him know exactly where Ezra’s comfort level fell.

Vin decided this new interaction might not be all bad. Bit like dancing. Gotta work together or ya end up on the floor. Josiah’s payin’ attention. And tryin’ ta stick to his word. Long as he keeps tryin’ we’re good.

Vin felt Ezra’s hand pat his leg, and glanced over in time to catch a small smile sent his way. He knew his lover knew what he was thinking. Vin smiled shyly. There were occasionally disadvantages to having a lover who could read him so well, but this wasn’t one of them.

JD stood up and stretched. "I’ll see you guys later. Need ta get back to the jail."

Buck stood as well. "I’ll keep ya company kid." The lanky cowboy threw one arm over JD’s shoulder in a brotherly gesture, and walked out with him.

The saloon had been unusually quiet all evening, with only the peacekeepers and one or two others occupying the normally busy establishment. Vin rather enjoyed the quiet atmosphere of the large, nearly empty room. It suited him just fine.

Chris looked toward Ezra. "You know you have the midnight shift?"

Ezra tipped his head. "I was aware of that fact, Mr. Larabee."

"You might want to consider getting some sleep."

Ezra smirked. "I had intended to do just that. All in due time."

Chris raised an eyebrow at Vin. "You need help getting back to the boarding house?"

Vin shook his head. Like I’m going back! Hah! "I’ll sit here for a bit, Cowboy. Ain’t ready ta turn in yet."

"Suit yourself." Chris bid them a good night and sauntered out, leaving Ezra, Josiah and Vin alone at the table.

Josiah rubbed one hand over his face. He looked tired, and Vin realized the older man had probably not slept well the night before. Josiah hesitated a moment, almost as if he wished to say something, but just shook his head instead, looking down at the table.

"Mr. Sanchez?" Ezra called softly.

"Yes, Ezra?" Josiah answered, eyes still downcast.

"I find myself in need of a favor."

Josiah looked up at the gambler in surprise, and then with a trace of eagerness. "Something I can help you with, Ezra?"

Ezra smiled. "Indeed. The children are still working on some of the finer points of geography. I was wondering if you might be free tomorrow afternoon to offer them a different perspective on some of the many locales you have had the opportunity to visit. I am aware that you have traveled extensively, and I believe they would benefit from hearing about the different places you have seen."

Josiah smiled widely, obviously pleased with the invitation. To Vin’s knowledge the only other member of their group to help out with the lessons Ezra gave had been JD. "I believe I can arrange that. It would be an honor to assist in teaching the little ones."

"Very well then. Tomorrow…say mid-afternoon?"

"That would be fine." Josiah stood up. "If you boys will excuse me, I believe I’ll turn in."

"Sleep well, Mr. Sanchez."

"G’night, Josiah."

Now alone at the table, and the nearly empty Vin smiled warmly at his lover. "Was nice what you did just now."

Ezra shrugged one shoulder, but smiled softly. "Thank you."

Vin stretched. "You ready ta turn in?"

Green-eyes twinkled. "More than ready."

Vin grinned. He knew what that look meant. Sleep might be on the agenda, but not right away. He glanced around the saloon, wondering if anyone would notice if he limped up the main stairs. He really didn’t feel like bothering with going outside and up the back stairs. To his delight, the only other customer left a moment after Josiah had, leaving just the two of them in the saloon. Three counting Inez.

Ezra called out to Inez. "Why don’t you head on home, Miss Recillos? It is only Mr. Tanner in myself who remain. I can close up for you tonight."

"Thank you, Senior Standish." The pretty Mexican woman smiled at him. "It would be nice to head home early for a change." She shook her finger at him before she left, her expression stern. "You make sure the bar is clean, Senior."

Ezra arched an eyebrow. "Yes, Ma’am."

Vin was about to help Ezra with the clean up, but the gambler held up a hand. "I can take care of this. Your time would be better spent ascending to my room to await my arrival."

Vin grinned wolfishly, liking the way that sounded. "A plan. I like that."

Ezra matched his grin, with a hungry, lusty look. "Yes, indeed. And with any luck it will work out like all our other plans…a great deal better than we expected."

*******The End*******