I love being a child of God. I think people assume that christians have it made & that they're happy 24/7. We are but, it's a different kind of joy. One that comes from within. Not the external joy we're most familiar with. Such as having a boyfriend, a dozen female friends, a pet or a new home, clothes, vehicles...etc. This is an internal joy that is sent from God. One that keeps us content through the worst of times. Tonight, I got home from work & just had myself a good cry. A much needed one at that. People over the years (39 to be exact) have been such a HUGE disappointment! Every person in my life that I've trusted has hurt me. Each time I trust someone they turn on me & hurt me deeply. What I don't understand is why... People tell you if you need to talk or have ideas for something they want to hear it. But, when you go to them with something, you suddenly get a door slammed in your face. If your problems aren't something they care to discuss, they suddenly have a zillion things to do. If your ideas don't fit exactly into their plans, they don't want to hear it. Regardless of the need on either issue. People say they love you & worry about you yet, nobody calls or comes to see you. Sometimes you may get a greeting card. People in this world will not have time for Jesus when He returns. They'll have a plane to catch or a meeting to go to or kids at football practice to pick up and so on... Jesus will be left standing there with a desire to take us home & we'll be running off to deal with life. What about God? What about love? What about fellowship? If we can't manage to take the time here for what little life has to offer, how will we ever find time for Christ? Then as He's closing the doors to heaven for the final time & turning the lock, here will come all these people just like the ones that show up at the department stores & restaurants one minute before closing time & expect service. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!! As our hearts grow cold, there are others around us who suffer for it. For example: At a recent meeting, I was told that unless I was part of a committee to help a group of people, I wasn't allowed to bring any helpful ideas to the table. Not only was I shut down, the people my ideas COULD possibly help will never get that option because I don't have time or desire to be on a committee & therefore they don't wanna hear it. Ideas that could very well help but, because it's a my way or the highway society, I will never get to present the ideas. Makes no sense. It's like biting a gift horse in the face & giving it a swift kick in the knees. Without these ideas...the business will be in the toilet & the group it's to help will not be receiving what they need. Now, what kind of fool is willing to risk the well being of the people involved as well as the future of the business & the staff it employs because someone doesn't want to be on a committee? People just don't get it. Another example: A lady decides she wants to get to know you & be your friend. Once she gets that accomplished she wants to make you part of a project she's working on. She asks you to help out. You not only help out, you purchase things to use for the project & you're enjoying yourself & doing a good thing. Suddenly, she says, you're not using the right glue. I use this glue & everyone here has to use this glue so that the project will stick together. If you use a different glue, it may look bad & cause harm to the project. So, you pack up your glue & hit the road. Then you get a call, they want you back, just without your glue. You explain to them that you & your glue are a package deal & that they should've told you they didn't want your glue before inviting you paste in the first place. This is what I mean...people are so phony! They profess to care so much yet, if you don't fit inside the box that is their world, you are left to deal with the lonliness. That's right, I said lonliness. Even though we have Christ as a friend, it doesn't help much here on earth. I know God is mine & I'm his for all eternity now, & that he is always with me. Even when I'm lonely. But it's not the same. Perhaps we shouldn't desire earthly relationships but, I thought that was part of what fellowship is. I sit here, day in & day out...work, pet the cat, feed the cat, shower, read & go to bed. I rarely get phone calls & visitors are even more rare. If I didn't have Jesus, I'd go off the deep end mentally. I'd get depressed enough to commit suicide. There are days, even with Jesus, I still long for death. I long to leave this stinking hole of a world we live in. Mainly because I know what awaits me on the other side of the grave. Praise God for that! We are so fortunate to have a God who loves us. Look around at the people of this world...we've got to be difficult to love. We can't even love one another yet, Jesus loves us all the time. No matter what we do!!! Perhaps if we tried to love others the way God loves us, this world wouldn't be so bad. Tolerable until the end perhaps. Think about it...