before & after

In the beginning�

Before coming to Christ, I was a lonely & angry person. At the age of 9, I was diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. I spent all my school years being made fun of. As a teenager I experimented with drugs & alcohol. I also started smoking cigarettes. I dropped out of high school & got my first job waiting tables. I took my tips each day & went across the street & drank a case of beer each night after work. I then began several years of promiscuous behavior. I was married the first time at the age of 19. I then committed adultery & got divorced. I remarried 3 yrs later. The table was turned & this time my 2nd husband committed the crime. Again, I got divorced. Then I was involved in several promiscuous relationships. I've been angry & hurt for many yrs & I've lashed out at those around me. I've done things to destroy myself with no help from anyone else. I even attempted suicide once in high school. I've used profanity & indulged in pornography & lied. I read secular books & listened to secular music. My tv & movie habits weren't that great either. I quit going to church & hadn't even opened a bible until I was married the 2nd time. I prayed occasionally but, it was in vain since I hadn't come to Christ. Quite a sinful life.





Here & Now

Now after 2 yrs of being saved & growing in Christ, my life has changed dramatically. I'm not sin-free & I don't think that's humanly possible. However, there is far less sin in my life than what once was. I'm also aware of the fact that God has been with me all this time. Even when I was lost, He was there. Just hidden from me & loving me from afar. He was taking care of me even then. I try to avoid as much sin as possible & read my bible almost daily. I have devotionals I enjoy reading as well. Charles Spurgeon has a KJV devotional called "Morning by Morning" which is wonderful. I got that & Rick Warren's "Purpose Driven Life" as gifts after I was baptized. I got baptized on Easter Sunday of this year (2005). I try to live a good Christian life & try to obey God's commands to the best of my ability. It's hard to unload the old habits of sin nature. I still have to deal with some of those behavioral issues & I still smoke. Maybe in time I can lick the smoking habit but, if I don't, I know God will still love me & that I'm still wanted in His courts. There won't be any cigarettes in heaven I'm sure. That means no withdrawal either. I'm sure I'll be fine. *giggling* I made a promise to God after I got saved that I would abstain from any intimate relations until I was remarried. I have kept that promise so far. I also feel strong enough to keep it till I find the one He has picked for me. It hasn't been easy to surrender to God's will & follow the path set before me by our loving Redeemer but, I have managed with His help. I'm determined to overcome whatever comes my way & live my life for Him. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my entire life & long to share all this with you so that you may see God & see how great His love is. Give God a chance to love you. It is well with my Soul!