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| Name: Otto B. Ashaemt Age: Stone Current position: Seated Family: Hominidae Favorite sports team: The Bad News Bears Favorite athelete: Victor the Wrestling Bear Favorite radioactive isotope: Hostess Twinkie Growing up, I wanted to be: Batman Three things that can always be found in my refrigerator: Frost, light bulb, mold. If there's one thing in life I've learned It's: The difference between my ass and a hole in the ground. An ass is a burro, while a hole in the ground could be the burrow of a marmot. The difference is W. Behind my back, my friends say: "There, the final preparations have been completed. Soon we shall be able to implement our plans! Then we will show them! WE WILL SHOW THE WORLD! HA HA HA HA HA" (diabolical laughter) "HA HA HA HA HA" Best time of my life: 11:53 pm Worst time of my life: When I was abducted by a UFO and forced to break up a drunken brawl between Elvis and Bigfoot. At my funeral, I hope my friends will say: I guess we can just forget about the money he owes us. |
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