Searching for a reason for why she had to feel this pain, she always ends up at the same dead end over and over again, a continuos war insife of herself. Maybe she should have listened and moved on and not stay behind, but she became her own worst enemy. Disconecting herself from everything that meant anything, maybe if she does that she won't realize how hopeless she really is.
As the future swipes past her, stays the same living with the blame and disappointment. If you had never met her before, you probably wouldn't even notice. If you had known her, you would be albe to see, she was a fraud.
Self dnial that some how it would be like it was before, if it hadn't even have happened, or if it was her. Flashes of the good the good times, the celebrations. "You passed, Oh my gosh. You did it." the face face of a once vibrant beautiful girl, "It's beautifeul, How can you afford it?" with hope in her eyes, the picture was so clear. "Hey, nothing is too much for my girl." No face to to place the voice with. It had disappeared somewhere in what was now her life. Maybe she pushed it back to keep reminding her of when she had forgotten everything.
It was her birthday present. It was just a memory now, but it was a painfull reminder of what was, and what would never be. When she never reaches the peace she's been searching for what seems like foever. She has to find a way to make it stop. I started with the cutting. She did it to feel alive, each time it;s just untill morning. But deep down in the pit of her stomache she knows it won't stop. She won't let it, she makes herself remember it no matter how much she doesent want to, she caused it, and not just it everything. The memories pierce her heart like the shards of glass of that night. My girl is going to have fun for once." Why couldent eveyone understand why sh stays behind, waiting to wake up. Waiting for everthing to go back to the way it was before.
"I'm never going to leave your side, I promise you that." Her mind was a mindfield of promises, high expectations and dreams that were virtually unatainable, however even then anything could be done. Now the impossible dreams are exactly as they seem "You need to move on, it's been six months, it wasn't your fault when will you realize that?". If it were only that easy, if there was only someway that the pain could magically disappear. Make it all go away.
"Your smile lights up my day." She can't even remember the last time she wanted to smile, instead of just pretending. It boggles her mind. Making it a routine. She laughs at her friends jokes, but in all seriousness it's all a joke. Everything is meaningless now. "Watch out!" His last words should have been, "I love you!" , when they were old and grey, whenit would actually be fair. When shadows of darkness brushes it's wrath upon her, her soul slowly fades.
"I love you." she wispers it's the only thing she can manage. "I'll love you forever", light whispers of the past become more and more prevalent. "We're meant to be together, forever." The reflection in the mirror is no longer the girl she was. What they used to say about her was gone. Her face looks ghostly. When had it come to this. "You're beautifull, YOU'RE BEAUTIFULL!" she had taken the most beautifull thing and destroyed it, in one single night. "SHUT UP!" she screams at the memories "Shut up,Shut up Shut up!" When had it gotten so bad?
Tonight when she gets home she'll silence it, she'll make it permanent. She writes a quick note: "I sorry for what I've done. I've left everything of importance in ruin. I just want to silence it all. Everything in this world is worthless now. I'm sorry for everything."
A shot goes off in the night, ending another forgotten life. "I didn't know, how could we have missed it?" She became lost and forgotten inside herself. Fighting a hidden war. Of pain and destruction. "If only I had known, then I could have done something to help her." Far too late they want to help. They wish she could have just moved on. She could have made a new life with so many possibilities. Now all the "what was" are just "Why?"
"Don't forget me." the past now wispers softly in their minds. "You forgot me in life, don't forget me in death." Days pass, and become months: then those months become forgotten. They wished they could have helped. "Don't forget about us." Now they all wisper. Those voices of the other forgotten roses. They wanted to help, but when it was too late they cried tears and sobbed. They laughed about the good times, and they remembered her life, still they didn't know why this had happend.
"Im sorry." the soft wisper drifts within the wind. It to is soon forgotten. They'll stop and ask "What was her name?" Then they'll hear the light whisper begging, "Don't forget about me."