Ladies and Gentlemen - i give you the United States of America


on a plate...

America then...

How to explain America? Start at the start i guess.
It starts (as most of my stories do) with me. America held two views in my consciousness. In one way it way the shining land over the sea, full of filmstars and musicians and mountains; devoid of felines and blessed with cheesy streets.
However, i had another view of America, revolving aroiund the preconceptions of fat, rich self possesses, fat, loud mouthed, ignorant, arrogant and fat. Oh and socially inept. These views come from the trash tv such as Jerry Springer, Oprah and Ricki which bombard our shores like some tasteless meteor shower from afar. Little wonder then i thought so little of America.
And yet... i signed up of my own free will to Camp America being of sound mind and body to go to the USofA and look after kids -the unholy spawn of the fat consumer-based apocalyptic generation. Everyone kept telling me(and i thoguth myself0 that this would indeed be hell.
They, and i, were mistaken.

I was placed at Camp Johnsonburg in New Jersey and arrived there in June slightly excited, but cynical and arrogant - determined that America would not change (corrupt...?) me. I was on a mission - a mission to re-educate America, to introduce them to British taste, British culture and most of all....British Music. I would show them the error of their ways and they would repent and listen to the Manic Street Preachers and love Blur and accept Fatboy Slim as their king.
I think now i may have been a trifle naiive.....

J'burg was wonderful - an oasis of calm and spiritual plenty. The safest environment imaginable to live and work in.
The kids were awesome - each one with his or her own talents and personalities; not some amorphous mass of tears swearwords and handguns. In fact, they may have been better behaved than British kids....
The staff were incredible - loving and supportive and generally too nice to be American...
The friendships were special, and America.....

A few of my favorite things...

Camp Johnsonburg
Washington D.C.
Big Cars
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Americans

And here are a few of my least favorite things...

New York
Dumb Immigration rules from Canada
Americans

� 1997 [email protected]


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