I know what I want: a real friend. No one seems to give a shit about me. I'm depressed and, oh big surprise, no one cares. I was doing math and I couldn't do it so I was really frustrated, close to tears, and I pictured myself shooting myself and I smiled. Suicide is popular because it's an easy way out. I know I won't do it because that's giving up and I don't do that. I rarely admit defeat for good, I do it on a temporary basis often but rarely ever as a final/for good thing.
I want a boyfriend, I want someon who'll give a shit about me.
I usually think I'm selfish when I act like this but not now. I told Kyle I was depressed and he just called me pessimistic, started talking about himself, and then said he had to call Nicki. WTF?!
I honestly think it's true, no one cares. No one cares at all. Everyone thinks that I don't care what others think. I care what my friends think, I care very deeply. But they don't care about me, the only one who comes close is Jo. Everyone always gives up on me, they just stay around to see how I'll turn out. I'm like a living TV show, I'm just entertainment for everyone else, I'm not real.
Fuck it! I don't care anymore. Self pity is getting me shit all no where!
