Well boys and girls, over this wonderful 4 day teacher's conference, I have made a breakthrough.
Believe it or not, I'm slowly starting to figure out who the hell I am. Have a read:
1. I push guys(possibly everybody)away when I need them most. I dumped Mike and Stu when I
needed them most and I avoided Tony. This is so fucked up! Why the hell would I do that?
2. I don't think I really have any friends. Don't get me wrong, bOhAn and meL are the best
people in the world but to face reality they don't live here and they don't have to deal with me
at school. That kind of changes the rules. Nicki comes to me for advice and a good laugh because
I tend to act like a total and utter moron 90% of the time. Trisha's always so wrapped up in her
own damn problems she never asks me what's wrong. Tova is just totally ignoring me now(which really
hurts). And Jo, well, Jo and I aren't really friends at all. Maybe Valentine's day will change
that. I guess my life really does suck major ass. And, like, whenever it's the weekend or we're
on a break I never get any phone calls anymore. I call Nicki and she is NEVER home, I don't bother
phoning Trisha(I really don't want to hear about her sleeping with Aldin), and who the hell else
am I gonna phone? This blows knob!
3. I have the biggest problem with apologizing. I want to talk to Stu, I NEED to talk to Stu,
I care about him and he's hurting himself over me which is so not good because I honestly don't
think that he should be wasting himself on me. I want to talk to Sara, I want to talk to Garn, I
want to talk to Tova but after ignoring them and hating them(not Tova)for so long, it's so hard
to do this. UGH, everything just has to get complicated.
4. I always seem to change heart during second semester. The people I hung out with in first
semester just don't seem my type anymore so I go searching for some friends that I've alienated.
I stop hating people I hated before. It's so wierd. I need change.
Well, for anyone who may have found this that I don't know, my life is really up shit creek,
eh? All that's been running through my mind over and over whenever I think about this crap is that
I'm just being selfish but all of this is true. I can't help it. I need to get the hell out of
this town!
And work the other day, my God SHOOT ME! First time I've been on counter in, like, 4 months!
And what Regina said is true 'all the juicy stuff goes over the head sets'. But I didn't really
care, I was tired and didn't really feel like talking anyway(I really would have liked to be stuck
doing dishes in back booth until close). But I had to close counter and I was done all that and I
went to the sink and Brent was on dishes and he had SO much to do. So I traded him spots, he went
and skimmed the vats and I did dishes. I did almost all of my job, and about 3/4 of his! And Regina
kept sending shit back to be rewashed. "There's salt on this", "Look at it", "These are still dirty".
I have NEVER had anyone send back the filter thingys for above the grill and vats because they're
dirty. It DOES NOT matter, that is what EVERYONE has told me. I was REALLY pissed. And I didn't
get out of there until 1:30 and I was the first to leave. Haha, kiss my ass.
Anyway, I'm afraid I must run along and do cadet crap now. Plus I've got biology to get ahead
on. Ooo goodie! Excuse me while I go hang myself!
