Fun Things to do in an Elevator


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- Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your 
head.
- Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
- Shave.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering 
inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, 
without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the 
doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by 
themselves.
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm 
handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it 
stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft 
go "plink" at the bottom.
- Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then 
announce: "I've got new socks on!"
- When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: 
"Oh, I hate... motion sickness!"
- Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your 
nose.
- Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say 
"oops!"
- Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce 
"You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the 
elevator.
- Leave a box between the doors.
- Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button 
for them.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers 
"through" it.
- Start a sing-along.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that 
your beeper?"
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce 
to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
- If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad 
touch!"
- While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide 
it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

HOW TO CONFUSE PEOPLE IN THE COMPUTER LAB


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Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and
scream "NO!!! They've found me!" and bolt.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop 
and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to
you evilly.

Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a
different screen than the one it's set up with.

Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you
have it, say "Just in case..."

Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone 
agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your pants and say, "Oops, I
forgot."

Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge into the floppy disc drive,
when it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

Assign a musical note to every key (i.e. the Delete key is A Flat,
the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note 
loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse 
me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard 
& taking it.

Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!" and then
calmly sit down and begin to type. 


50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart



1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling 
them and stranding them at strategic locations. 

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals 
throughout the day 

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all 
the spray air fresheners. 

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap. 

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, 
especially in thin aisles. 

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, 
"I think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens. 

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off 
and turn the volume up to full blast. 

12. Play with the automatic doors. 

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't 
seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along. 

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself 
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!" 

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department. 

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are 
taking it for a test drive. 

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet 
behind them. Do this until they leave the store. 

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store 
as your playing field. 

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, 
look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!" 

20. Put M&M's on layaway. 

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you 
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles. 

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, 
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave." 

26. TP as much of the store as possible. 

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. 

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry 
and say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run 
between them yelling "Red Rover." 

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there 
are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples) 

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale 
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men. 

33. Take bets on the battle from above. 

34. Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics. 

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask 
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission 
Impossible. 

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your 
Twinkies." 

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 

42. Two words: Marco Polo

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's. 

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various 
funnels. 

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, 
quickly 
make off with it without saying a word. 

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to your knees 
and 
scream, "No, no, its those voices again." 

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time. 

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to the food 
court, 
buy a drink, and explain that you don't get out much and ask if they can 
put a 
little umbrella in it. 


*BONUS*


1. Attempt to do all of the above in the same visit, 
without getting kicked out. 

2. Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.

10 WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE AT SCHOOL


1. Ask the person taking a pee at the urinal if you can flush it.

2. Follow someone around with a can of lysol and spray everything they touch with it.

3. The same as #2, but spray air freshener insted.

4. When someone talks ask if they would like a tic tac.  CERT 

5. When a girl is putting on powder act like you are going through a dust storm.

6. Take all the TP out of the holders and put them in the sink.

7. Limp around the halls with you shirt on your head and mumble " yes master, yes, master, yes master ".

8. Walk up behind someone and scream " HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! " Do it so it would make them jump.

9. Sing the batman theme over and over and over and over and over. " donna donna donna donna donna donna donna donna BATMAN! "

10. Steal someones lunch and tell them your are going to eat it for them so they dont have to.



TOP 50 FUN THINGS TO DO IN A PUBLIC TOILET
1. Comment "Pooh, who did that?"

2. Complement people on their shoes.

3. Introduce yourself to the person in the next stall. Strike up a conversation.

4. Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.

5. Ask the person in the next stall if there's anything swimming in THEIR bowl.

6. Discuss the pros and cons of laxatives.

7. Scream "Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?!"

8. Simulate a drug deal.

9. Pretend to fall in (with appropriate sound effects).

10. Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.

11. Start a sing-a-long.

12. Act schizophrenically.

13. Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy.

14. Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.

15. Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"

16. Write 'nerdy' graffitti like "Please wash your hands. Thank you."

17. Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.

18. Pour water over the stall door onto the occupant.

19. Say "Oops....missed" while syringing water out around the bowl and under the walls and door into other stalls.

20. Fake an orgasm.

21. At night, switch off the ligths.

22. Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"

23. Collect a door charge.

24. Ask "Is there a doctor in the house."

25. Impersonate Elvis. Be convincing.

26. Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python/axolotl.

27. Write essay questions on the toilet paper.

28. Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.

29. Offer refreshments.

30. Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.

31. Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"

32. Charge admission.

33. Electrify metal urinals.

34. Leave a ladle in the toilet bowl.

35. One word: GOLDFISH.

36. Make a jello in a bowl.

37. Place a sign warning of 24 hour video surveillance.

38. Remove stall doors.

39. Glue seat and cover down to bowl.

40. Place a sign advertising "Driver's side airbags" as standard.

41. Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.

42. Put itching powder on the toilet seats.

43. Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.

44. Replace a soap in dispenser with custard.

45. Completely soak the towel in the towel dispenser, or the paper towels if available.

46. Make kitty litter trays that fit into toilet bowls. Install.

47. Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).

48. In one stall, attach the toilet bowl to roof. (Advice for young players: Don't leave the water in while you do this.....)

49. Create a crime scene complete with police tape and chalk silhouette.

50. CR*P