I’ve sat here for over five minutes now, my eyes closed, thinking nothing, just listening to the sound of running water coming from Zane’s shower. I don’t know what to do. Zane is supposed to be my brother, but that concept has been completely thrown out the window. I mean, it’s not like we’re really related, but it’s just the way we perceived things. There’s Manticore again, fucking up my life.

Suddenly, something jumps on the bed. My eyes fly open to find a German Shepherd in my face. The dog sniffs me curiously, then likes my face. I make a disgusted face and push the dog away. I try to remember what the dog is doing here and then I remember. This is Millie, Zane’s beloved pet and best friend.

“Hi, Millie.” I say, petting her on the head, tentatively.

Dogs make me kind of nervous. But why wouldn’t they? After you’ve had ferocious dogs that are as big as you were at the time, trained to rip you to shreds if they can, tearing after you, wouldn’t dogs make you a little nervous? Especially German Shepherds, the exact breed they had at Manticore. Zane’s weird.

Millie rolls her eyes at me like she can read my thoughts and finds them ridiculous. She flops down on top of my legs and licks my hand. Now I’m affectively trapped here until the dumb dog gets tired of me. Great.

“Thanks, Millie.” I say sarcastically.

I sigh and berate myself for avoiding the topic I should be thinking about. What am I going to do?

“Syl!”

Someone’s calling my name, but I’m too out of it to register who it is. I was totally unprepared for this. How was I supposed to know that Manticore would send X5’s after me?

I manage to get back to my feet, but can’t move fast enough to block another punch right to my face. My nose breaks in an explosion of pain, but I’m still standing. A kick to my stomach sends me flying back into a wall, breaking ribs. I lean against the wall for support. It’s very hard to breath. A kick to the head and I can’t see anymore. I fall to the ground, not unconscious, but unable to move, barely able to breath.

“Syl!” I vaguely hear the voice again.

I hear the sounds of fighting for a while, then silence. I wait for the Manticore X5’s to come back for me, restrain me and toss me into a military issue vehicle. I try hard to open my eyes to see what has happened, but I can’t. It hurts too much.

“Syl.” the same voice that I know I should recognize says softly.

Gentle hands pull me into a sitting position. I feel someone wraps their arms around me and pull me back against their chest. Everything hurts so much.

“I’m sorry, Syl. I got here as fast as I could.” the voice says.

Maybe it’s Zack? No, I didn’t tell Zack where I was going. Zack had ticked me off and I had taken off with Krit and Zane. Zane!

“Zane...” I push through my split and bleeding lips.

My voice doesn’t sound like my own. It hurts to talk.

“Syl!” Zane cries, surprised that I’m conscious.

I feel him pick me up, trying to be gentle, but still causing me great pain. I feel tears slide down my cheeks from the pain, but there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I just wish I would pass out already.

Zane stumbles and a wave of pain courses through my body and finally sends me into blackness.

When I wake up, I am somewhere soft and warm. I slowly open my eyes and find that I am on a bed in what looks like a motel room. I’m covered in bandages.

“Zane?” I venture quietly.

“I’m here, Syl.” he says immediately, appearing at my side.

“What...?” I ask, confused.

“I’m so sorry, Syl. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. I got there as fast as I could. None of us were expecting X5’s. But we’re out of there now. I don’t know where Krit is, but I know he’s safe, don’t worry. God, Syl. Are you okay?” he asks.

It’s almost comic how worried he is. I try to laugh at him, but it hurts. Instead I offer him a weak smile.

“This is me we’re talking about.” I remind him, “I take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.”

Zane laughs half-heartedly and brushes hair out of my face.

“I love you, Syl. I’ll take care of you.” he promises.

The shower turns off and I snap out of my memories. Zane enters, toweling his wet hair. He smiles when he sees me and Millie.

“I see Millie has introduced herself.” Zane says.

“Yep.” I agree.

Zane goes to the closet and pulls on a shirt. I suddenly realize that I’m still naked. Plus, my clothes were pretty destroyed.

“Uh...Zane?” I ask sheepishly.

“Yeah?”

“Got anything that’s too small for you?” I ask.

Zane glances at me and realizes what I had. He blushes and looks through his closet. Even if he finds something that’s too small for him, it will probably be three times too big for me. Zane’s the tallest and I’m the shortest. Not exactly a perfect size match. But clothes are clothes.

Zane tosses me some pants and a shirt and gives me a questioning look.

“Thanks.” I say, offering him a smile.

Zane takes that for approval and nods. I squirm slightly.

“Uh....could you turn around?” I ask.

“Oh!” Zane says, immediately turning around.

“Well, first could you get Millie off?”

“Millie, come.” Zane says without turning around.

Millie jumps off the bed and immediately goes to her master. I change quickly.

“Okay.” I say.

Zane looks at me and I can tell he’s trying not to laugh. Like I predicted, the clothes are way too big and I’m sure I look ridiculous.

“Shut up.” I warn him.

“Yes, ma’am.” he says sarcastically.

“Hey, Zane.”

“What?”

“Do you remember when Manticore sent in X5’s?”

Zane freezes and gives me an odd look.

“Of course, I remember.”

I’m getting better quickly. I’m an X5, after all. I just need sleep and time to heal. It’s been two days. We’re in a new hotel. Like he promised, Zane is taking care of me. Even though I keep telling him I can take care of myself.

“Syl, I am fully aware that you can take care of yourself, but you’re still not 100%. And I don’t want you to get yourself in another fight and rebreak your ribs or something.” Zane replies, “Besides, it’s not every day that I get to check into a hotel with a beautiful girl.”

He winks at me and I roll my eyes. That’s more something Krit would say then Zane, but Zane had been hanging around Krit too much before the whole situation.

“I’ll bet.” I snorted in reply.

“Hey.” Zane said in mock hurt.

“You deserved it.” I replied, “Don’t act like Krit. Bad things happen.”

We both smile at the diss to Krit. We both love him, but it’s true. Where Krit goes, disaster often follows. Usually in the form of a pissed-off C.O.

“Hungry, kitten?” Zane asked.

Zane and Krit both call me by cat names. They say it suits me. I guess their right, Cat DNA and all.

“Sure.” I shrugged.

Zane saw through my nonchalance and knew that I was starving. He ordered two large pizzas and then joined me on the bed to watch TV.

“You’re my favorite, you know.” Zane said suddenly.

I glanced at him curiously.

“What?” I asked.

“You. You’re my favorite sibling or whatever. We all know that Max is Zack’s and Jondy’s and Ben’s. Jo and Jay love Lani. And Tinga is the only one who can stand Derek. But you, you’re my favorite and Krit’s, too.” Zane explained.

I didn’t really know how to respond to that.

“Thanks.” I offered uncertainly.

“Thanks.” Zane mimicked, “Silly, kitten...”

He proceeded to tickle me, careful of my ribs. I gasped and tried to escape. Zane quickly stopped and I slowly took my spot back, eyeing him suspiciously. We sat in silence for a while.

“Zane?” I questioned.

“Hmmm?” he asked.

“No matter what, I’ll always have you, right? No matter what Manticore does or how strange the world gets?”

“Of course. I love you, Syl. That will never change.” Zane promised.

“I love you, too, Zane.” I replied quietly.

“I love you, Zane.” I venture into the silence.

“I love you, too, kitten.” Zane replies automatically, still thinking about the past.

I sigh and head towards the kitchen, needing something to do. Maybe making breakfast will be an affective distraction.

It’s funny how readily he can say those words. I’m not even sure if I know fully what they mean. I’m very careful with those words. I’ve spoken them to three people: Zane, Zack, and Krit. I don’t think Zane realizes how much they can mean. Or how much I want them to mean.

A beeping sounds makes me jump. I see my pager on the floor near the couch. I pick it up and look at the number.

“Oh, god. Brad.” I mumble.

“Who’s Brad?”

I whirl around to see Zane standing behind me.

“No one!” I squeak, feeling like I’m losing my touch.

Zane shouldn’t have been able to sneak up on me. Snap out of it, Syl!

“If it was no one, then you wouldn’t have said ‘Oh, god’. Now who is it?” Zane demanded.

“I said it’s no one. Back off, Zane.” I snap, feeling cornered.

I find my shoes and slip them on before heading towards the door.

“Where’re you going?” Zane asks.

“To take care of something.” I reply vaguely.

“Will you be back?”

I pause for a second. Zane almost sounds....no, it’s my imagination.

“Yeah.” I say quietly and hurry out the door.

Zane has always meant so much to me. He’s been my protector, my haven, my friend in a way slightly off of what Krit is to me. Krit is like my twin, only with the rebellious, goof-off part highlighted. No wonder Zack likes to try and keep us apart. But Zane, Zane is someone who I’d go to talk to when something is bothering me just because I know he’d listen quietly and then he’d somehow make it all better. But now even that is different. Funny, somewhere in the back of my mind I’d always figured that if I’d ended up with one of them, it would have been Krit.

But last night had definitely changed that. Maybe I was confusing sex with love. Maybe that was it. Zack said I did that. But what did Zack know. I personally believe that was just another excuse of his to beat the crap out of my current boyfriend and make me move to a new state. Besides, if I chose to believe that all that I felt towards Zane was physical, I’d be lying to myself, taking the easy way out, and completely stepping on all that he had been to me before I’d gone and fucked things up (literally) with my damn heat cycle.

How could my feelings have changed so quickly? Was I really that fickle? I’d been dating Brad, thought that I’d liked him enough to make things a little more permanent, maybe move in with him for now. And now I didn’t feel anything for him. It felt like I’d always loved Zane and Brad was just a distraction.

I needed to talk to someone. Desperately. That’s not like me, usually I keep things to myself if I think they’re important or if they’re this mushy-feely type of stuff. But this was too much. There were too many thoughts swirling around if my genetically-tweaked brain. And obviously I couldn’t talk to my usual counselor.

I needed Krit.

I pull over at a gas station and hop out to use the payphone. I don’t have any money, but I had always been able to charm some out of people. Besides, it was just some change. No one would mind giving up a little change.

I quickly dial the number that Krit had given me before he’d left and that I had committed to memory.

“Hello?” Krit’s voice answers.

“Hey, it’s me.” I reply.

“Well, hey, baby. What’s up?” Krit teases.

“That lonely, huh?” I tease back.

“You wish.” Krit snorts.

“Oh, sure. Like I have that much free time to worry about your personal life.” I retort.

“I’ll bet. So why’d you call? Not that I mind, of course.”

“Well,...I need to talk.”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what we’re doing?”

“Shut up, smart ass. I’m being serious. I really need to talk to you and I don’t mean over the damn phone. Can you come here?” I ask, hand clenching into a fist around the phone chord nervously.

“Sure, babe. If it means that much to you. You know you’re my number one gal. I’ll be there before you know it.” Krit promises, hearing the urgency in my voice.

I can almost see him frown worriedly over the phone.

“Thanks, Krit.”

“Got an address for me, kitty-cat?” he asks.

I stiffen at the cat name, but don’t say anything about it. I rattle off my address for him, but ask him to meet me at my favorite diner instead. We set up a rendezvous time and I slowly hang up. Tomorrow evening seems like forever away. Much too much time for me to continue my rambling thoughts.

I laugh at myself and shake my head as I head back to my car. All the torture and training that Lydecker put me through and I didn’t even blink. Now look at me and it’s all because of one little night with one of my own unit. Lydecker had been right, we are our worst weakness. God, I hate it when he’s right.