| Things to do when ordering a pizza |
| If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person whos doing the order to stop. Make up a charge card name. Ask if they accept it. Order a Mc Chicken Extra Value Meal. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the time and you are going with the lowest bidder Give them your address and say, "Oh just surprise me!" and then hang up Answer their questions with questions Tell them to put the crust on top this time Do not name the toppings you want, name them out Put an extra edge in your voice when you say, "crazy bread." Stutter on the letter P Ask for a deal available somewhere else (E.g. If phoning dominoes ask for Ceezer! Ceezer!) Ask what the order taker is wearing Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings Change your accent every 3 seconds Order 52 peporrni slices prepared in a factual pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper Start your order with "I'd like...."...A little later, slap yourself and say, "No I dont!" If they repeat the order to you, make sure they have it right, say okay that will be 10.99 please please pull up to the first window Rent a pizza Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. If they say yes, have a sigh of relief Put the accent on the last syllable of "peperoni" use the long i sound. Have your pizza shaken, not stirred Say, "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? " When they say yes, say "Well so is this. You've got some explaining to do." When they finally offer proof in fact (Pizza Place) start to cry and ask, "Do you know what its like to be lied to?" Move the mouthpiece farther andfarther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs. Imitate the order takers voice When they ask, "What would you like?" Say, "Huh? Oh you mean now." Ask for a menu |
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