| Things to do at a Mall... |
| Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflected pond. Dial 900 numbers from the demonstration phones at Radio Shack. Stomp on ketchup packets at burger king Construct a new porch deck in the tool department at Sears Test matresses in pjs If you're patient, stare intently into a servellance camera for an hour while rocking back and fourth Sprint up the down escalators Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of eua de swane. Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lense. Leave on the plastic string connecting 2 new pairs of shoes together and wander around the mall taking 2 inch steps Play the tuba for change. Toast plastic hotdogs in front of the fake fire place display. Change every channel at the department store to saved by the bell. Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice and scream if anyone tries to change any of the tvs. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant. Scornfully say that none of them are leak proof |