| My Dearest Dan, My soulmate....the love of my life.....my best friend, I love you. You have inspired me in so many ways, and you have helped me learn how to be strong, even when things weren't the greatest. You helped me to see life in a different perspective. Instead of everything being so bad and against me, you showed me things that I never thought about that would help me change and get through anything that came my way. You helped me to find happiness. For 14 years its been in hiding, deep in my heart because I never took the time to let it be. Whenever I was sad, I thought the only way to handle it was just to not live......but you showed me that life is just too precious to just give it up, if you think about it, everyone else one day wouldn't be there, I would hopefully still have you to go to. You have no idea what all you have done for me. The little things have always added up to be more. I probably haven't been that good of a girlfriend for you lately, and you do deserve better, but one day I will be totally happy and then the next, I'll feel like I want to die. I just want to say, Im sorry for not being the girlfriend that you deserve, because of certain insecruities that I have. I can lose you ever Dan....It would be too hard to live knowing that either you don't love me or that you fell in love with someone else. You came into my life, and made me the happiest person ever by loving me, and if you were to leave me it would be too hard to just go on. To just pick up the peices and move on. No, its harder than that because when we first became us, it was as if I had a new life Dan. You made me happy when I never knew true happiness before. It wouldnt be easy to live a second without you Dan. I need you, and I need you more than I ever have before. Everyday I need you more, and everyday it seems as if it would be so much harder to live without you if I ever had to one day.....It's not like living without certain things that are no big deal. It's more than that. I dont even want to ever try....Everyday I think more of you. Everynight, I deam about you, and I just pray that God will let you love me forever....Sometimes, its just so hard to believe. I want to believe so badly and I do to a certain extent, but Im so afraid of getting hurt, becayse you're everything I have ever needed Dan. Whether you believe, care, or will ever care.... I know I would just die without your love. I would fall apart so fast and so easily....Im not trying to tell you this to make you feel bad or make you afraid to ever break up with me if you ever wanted to, Im just telling you the honest to God truth, that without you, the one person I live for, I would just be lost. I need you though Dan, and I need your love. I wonder every single day if you will ever stop loving me or just find someone else. You're probably thinking it could happen to me too. When I think about it, no matter how much you done believe, I'm so afraid that someone will walk into your life, and steal your heart right away from me....even though you may not be looking, it happens, and it happens to a lot of people. I'm just telling afraid it will happen to you. What else am I suppose to do? Just not care? I do, and no matter what Dan, I'll always be afraid Dan, I'll always have this thing that just wont go away about the thought of losing you. When I think of my future, I just wanna have you in it. Today...tomarrow...a year....in 60 years... I still want you to be there, and I'll still need your love, but so much more. I'm not begging you to love me forever....but Im just telling you, you have made so many promised to me Dan, and I've told you things I wouldn't tell anyone else ever. I live for you though Dan. I live to be with you, and I love being with you because I love you. It's you I want Dan. Its you I need forever. It's you that I can look at just once, and my heart will melt instantly. I've prayed to God for 14 years for someone like you, and God gave me that gift....but I'm so afraid of losing it. Do you even begin to realize how much I love you Dan.....I'd give anything for you Dan...I'm so much in love, and I've told you that a billion times. So much of me tells me everyday, don't let this one slip away because you won't ever find anyone else like him. Hes the one for you, the only one. You're so much more to me than my soulmate Dan, or the love of my life...not even words can say. I just hope and pray everything I've said you feel for me too, and everything you have and will say in the future hopefully you will mean that too. Dan....I love you so much more than I'm telling you right now, and in the future, I'll promise you, I'll love you so much more than. Love forever, Kristin |
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