There are many things I can't stand about English class. One is the "I before E except after C" rule. There are so many exceptions to that it's scary. I also hate diagraming sentences; for some reason, whenever I try to(and fail miserably, of course), I can't help but think, 'when in my earthly life will I EVER want to diagram a fricken sentence?' I'm sure it has many useful and meaningful life purposes that I have yet to figure out.
But now I'm getting off the subject.
No matter how many annoying things I may find about English, however, there will be NOTHING more traumatizing, more wretched, more utterly sickening than analyzing poetry. This is one thing I can not STAND! I mean, I despise it! I even...even...even...HATE it!!! I don't even like it! *Ahem.* Yes. Well.
This, of course, is not just a random opinion floating in midair without a shred of fact to back it up. See, if you agree with me, it's YOUR random opinion floating in midair without a single shred of evidence to back it up! No, actually, I have some very heart-felt, passionate, slightly defendable reasons I hate it so dearly. And why you can't, because the reason "Because I said so" doesn't seem to satisfy some people. A lot of people. Bootheads.
1. The first reason you can't analyze poetry is because I said so. It's true, ok?
2. But the reason WHY I say you can't is because overanalyzing something kills it. It will have absolutely no sentimental value once you think about it too much. 'But wait,' you say. 'Can't you just analyze it a little?' The answer to this is simple. No. Once you even try to analyze the thoughts and emotions of another man(or woman, but we can be feminists later. I'm talking about poetry here.), you kill it's original intended impact. A poet would not write a poem that has to be mulled over twenty thousand times before understanding it, because he knows better to assume that people would be smart enough to do that.
3. What's more, poems may have a "deeper" meaning to them, but if it's not written so that you can see it, maybe, just maybe, you're not supposed to. Like an inside joke. They like to make fun of you, they just don't like you to know it. Now, finding the meaning between the lines can be rewarding(mainly so you can run up to people and taunt them with "I know something you don't know, etc."), but if you want to do that, please do it on your own time. Don't make us sit in class and listen to 30 versions of the same thing. Better yet, don't make us agree,
4. It's boring. B. O. R. I. N. G. Even if I were so inclined to share my inner feelings about a poem about some other guys feelings about a horse or what have you, I most certainly would not write it down so I could be reminded of the pain I went though. Actually, I wouldn't write it down because the pencil would have already dropped from my unconcious hand after I passed out from sheer boredom.
5. Those stupid little sheets they make us write it on. How more stifling of creativity can you possibly get? Maybe I guessed what the poem meant BEFORE I read it. Maybe I don't need to identify poetic devices to help me fully comprehend the true meaning of it. Maybe I have an IQ of higher than, say, 2. Maybe I just like ranting and raving like a madwoman about things I fee- Erm, never mind.
6. It's a really fun thing to hate. Because it's not going to change. And my English teacher isn't going to listen. Maybe scratch her head and nod and pretend to agree with me, but never listen. Oh no.
Yes, that just about concludes my rant. If you LIKE analyzing poetry, I'm sorry if I offended you. Sort of. Heck, no I'm not! Nobody made you come here! So ha.