1. Someone is spilling all their troubles and worries to you. You:

a) Listen intently and respond with all the right noises at all the right times. Then you offer to help them solve their problems and pay for their counciling, etc.

b) Try to cheer them up with your latest skateboard trick. Of course, you don't skateboard, but they won't find that out until you slam into the pavement and fracture your skull.

c) Tell them to shut up because you don't care. Or ignore them.

2. You're walking to school when, lo and behold, you uncover a bag full of money! You:

a) Immediately take it to the nearest police station or to the school office. Think of how much the true owner must be missing it!

b) See what happens when you light the bag on fire.

c) Take it. Duh.

3. There is room for one more person in the elevator. You are walking as fast as you can to reach its closing doors, but coming the other way is a very harrassed, tetchy looking woman, heading for the same doors. You immediately jump:

a) Aside. You've crossed your mom the wrong way before when she was looking like that...hoo boy. Besides. It was the right thing to do.

b) Up and down. Maybe if you look like enough of a maniac she'll pause long enough to stare at you that you'll be able to squeeze through before her.

c) In front of her. Then make sure to whip around and flash her your most sickenly innocent look as the elevator doors slam shut.

4. When someone says something that offends you, you:

a) Satisfy yourself with imagining several painful deaths you'd like to cause them, all the while smiling and nodding.

b) Go insane and call them several bad names until they apologize. Then break down and cry in a corner. Say that you won't come out until they give you fried chicken.

c) Shoot them.

5. When you see someone in a wheelchair, what do you do?

a) Smile at them and offer to help them.

b) Ask them if they've ever done wheelies in their wheelchair, then give them a first-hand demonstration.

c) Come up behind them and push them. Hard. Into the sewer.

6. There is a little boy playing in a narrow alley. How cute. Unfortunately, he happens to be in your way and appears to be deaf to your many attempts to get his attention. You:

a) Grit your teeth and ask him to move. Again. Good thing he's so cute...

b) Scream "Hallyballypumpkinpoo!" until you're blue in the face. Then give up and go eat that chicken you got when you were in the corner.

c) Blast him into oblivion using one of your many nuclear weapons of mass destruction you keep in your coat pocket for occasions such as this. Hey, he was in your way, now he's not. Seems to work.

7. Your hair is:

a) Prim and proper. You want the world to know that if you care this much about your hair, think how much you must care about them.

b) Erm...currently, blue on one side, sort of a pinkish-greenish-brownish-fushiaish on the other, all slicked up into spiraly spikes.

c) However I darn want it to be.

8. Your friends would most likely describe you as:

a) I can't possibly answer this. It would be bragging to repeat all the things they have said about me, and I don't brag. Naturally.

b) Freaky, dude. Far out.

c) Friends? Who said I had any friends? Stupid bootheads.

9. You most identify with:

a) Mother Theresa

b) Spongebob Squarepants

c) Saddam Hussain

10. Your philosophy for life is:

a) "Everyone can make a difference! We are all special and unique! Love is what makes the world go 'round!"

b) "No matter how delectable Elmer's Glue may look, it's not worth it. The pencil shavings always get stuck to the roof of your mouth."

c) "I'm right, you're wrong, get used to it."

11. If at first you don't succeed...:

a) Try, try again!

b) Forget it and act like a maniac. It's so much more fun than failing.

c) You naturally were doing it all wrong.