Thoughtless Words
Story by Courtney C. and Jessica B.
~~*Chapter Eight- Part Three*~~
“Oh my gosh, there are tons of people
out there,” Brian yelled, straightening his clothes.
“Uh, yeah. You’re telling me. You
about broke my toe running up those steps,” I said jokingly, but my toe
really did hurt. “I don’t see why anyone would want to have an autograph of
any of you,” I grinned, “especially
with this guy here.” I pointed at AJ.
“I’ll bite that finger off,” He
said pretending to bite my finger.
“He, he, just joking baby.” I
grabbed his hand as we were led down a hallway and into a big lounge room.
We all sat down and Howie helped himself to a handful of peanuts and began
popping them into his mouth. No
sooner had we gotten comfortable, before there was a knock. The body guard near
the door opened it.
“Oh my God! I can’t believe I
actually made it back here,” The tall, slim girl at the door said quickly.
She was very pretty and had short brown
hair with blonde highlights, she wore denim jeans with a halter top.
“I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you or breaking any rules but I had to see
you guys.”
“It’s okay,” Kevin smiled.
“Just as long as there isn’t a mob following you and you’ve led them to
us.” She laughed a little and
smiled.
“No, I don’t think so, and thank
you.” She shook all the guys hands, but when she came to AJ she hugged
him and I could tell she whispered something in his ear. As she left, she turned
and said thank you once again,
“By the way, my name is Sarah
Clark,” She smiled at AJ, giving me a slightly dirty look, then walked out.
“Well, she was certainly nice,” AJ
smiled.
“What did she say to you, and don’t
you dare say ‘nothing’,” I asked.
“She said I was her favorite,” He
grinned. “Now, what were you saying about no one wanting my autograph,
huh?”
“Oh, be quiet,” I said, hitting his
arm. He began tickling my side and then kissing me. Brian cleared his throat
motioning his eyes towards Nick, giving us a signal to stop. Nick sat lifeless
in a chair, staring at the floor
and holding the charm of the key around his neck in his hand.
“Nick, cheer up, please,” I knelt
down in front of him on the floor and stared up at his glassy blue eyes. “If
you don’t cheer up, I’m gonna have to tickle you.” He didn’t budge, so I
began tickling his side and then
under his arms and the sides of his neck . He squirmed and smiled but not much
progress. “Oh Nick, what are we
ever gonna do with you, huh?” I kissed his cheek and then sat down near AJ.
After the signing AJ exclaimed he
needed to talk to Nick so him and Nick went out to lunch. By now, Tommi
had moved all her luggage into AJ’s house and was staying with us. It was just
me and her that afternoon. Around
3:30 p.m. I called AJ’s cell phone to ask where he was but he didn’t answer.
I got a hold of Nick and he told me
AJ had said he needed to get something and that he hadn’t seen him since
after lunch at around 1:30 p.m.
“Okay, well if you hear from him tell
him to call me. I have dance rehearsal. Tommi’s coming with me to watch.
So I’ll see you at 6:00 p.m. okay? Bye,” I hung up the phone and left for
rehearsal.
~~~
“You were so good. Some of those
dances were hard,” Tommi exclaimed.
“Yeah, they are hard. After the
concert I’m exhausted. But imagine how the guys feel. They sing and dance
at the same time.”
"I would love to dance with you
all,” She said excited. I smiled and we continued walking down the hallway
to the back of the arena and to the green room where we waited until time to
perform. Nobody was there, except
Kevin.
“Hey, Kev. Where is everyone?” I
asked, flopping myself down beside him and grabbing his water.
“Hey!” He said as he watched me
drink nearly the whole bottle. “Nick came with me but he’s somewhere
talking to someone, Brian and Howie called about five minutes ago saying they
were on their way,” Kevin
continued.
“And AJ?” I asked handing back the
water.
“Haven’t heard from him.”
“Damn, I haven’t seen or heard from
him since this morning. Where could he be?” I walked around the room
and over to the window. A black Pontiac with tinted windows was parked outside.
No one came out of it at first, but
then I saw a very familiar face walk around to the drivers side, lean in a bit,
and then the car left. He stood
there for a second and then walked inside. “AJ’s here,” I told Kevin still
looking out the window.
“Where? Where is he?” Kevin asked.
“He just came in the building,” I
responded, turning around. Just then, AJ walked into the room.
“Mmmm....Hey baby, I missed you,”
He came running over to me and hugged me tightly, frenching me for
a long time. As good as it felt, I managed to break away from him.
“Who’s car was that?” I quickly
asked before he drew me back. He looked at me, puzzled, then said it was
an old friend he had met that day and they had hung out. He reached down into
his pocket and pulled out his
wallet.
“Want anything?” He asked getting
out a few dollars.
“Water, thank you,” I replied still
questioning the car in my mind.
“Sure. Put that on the table, will
you babe?” He asked, handing me his wallet and then walking out of the
room. AJ’s wallet was so big and bulky. He kept everything in it. Pictures,
cards, notes, it was packed. So you
can imagine when I tossed it onto the table.
“Fuck!” I growled to myself as all
these papers and pictures spilled out of his wallet. I smiled as I stuffed
a picture of me and him backstage at a concert back into the wallet. The smile
soon disappeared. There was a
picture I had never seen before. She looked very familiar and I soon realized
it was the girl from the signing that
morning that had snuck back to their private room. I turned the picture
over and sure enough it said it all.
Sarah Clark
859-8952
Thanks for the
amazing time, hon.
-Love Always
My eyes were completely fixed on the
picture. I couldn’t move them away What did she mean by ‘amazing
time’? Had she been with him the whole day? Was that her in the car? My mind
filled with questions and raged
with anger.
“Jess? You okay?” Kevin asked,
obviously noticing I wasn’t moving. I didn’t answer him, though. I couldn’t
seem to talk. I stood up and finished putting the things back into AJ’s
wallet, except the picture of the
girl. I stood there grasping the picture in my fist as my eyes began to get
teary. AJ came back into the room
with the water and I struggled to force back the tears.
“Here you go sweety,” He said
reaching me my water.
“Thank you,” I said, not looking
into his eyes.
“Are you all right?” He asked
noticing my slightly glassy eyes.
“Oh, just fine deary,” I said
sarcastically, grabbing the bottle. “But you shouldn’t be asking me if I’m
fine. How’s Sarah? Was she good AJ? Hope
you had a really nice day. But I tell you, I don’t know how the
hell you’re going to have enough energy to do the show,” I was shaking now,
looking AJ straight in the eye.
“Jess, what are you talking about?”
“‘Sarah Clark, 859-8952. Thanks for
the amazing time, hon. Love Always.’” I screamed holding up the crumbled
picture and reading it by memory.
“Jess..” was all he could get out.
“Don’t fuckin’ ‘Jess’ me AJ.
Do you always take your fans up on their offers? Huh? Do you? How can you
lay in bed with me at night and tell me you love me, when you throw yourself at
these girls? Honestly AJ. I though
we had the real thing. Damn you!” I screamed beating my fist against his
chest. He stood there going
nothing. “Aren’t’t you going to say anything?” But he didn’t move. He
just stared at the floor holding
back the tears that had formed in his eyes.
“Fuck you!” I yelled with one big
slap across his face. Covering my mouth with my hands, I let the tears fall
down my cheeks. Kevin came up behind me and held me from behind.
“Come on Jess, let’s go,” Kevin
pulled me towards the door. Tommi quickly followed.
“Damn you AJ! I should have know
better than to believe you loved me!” I screamed as Kevin closed the
door. I was uncontrollable now. Every nerve and muscle in my body shook. Kevin
grabbed my wrists and held them in
front of his face.
“Listen to me Jessica. Don’t let
this do this to you.” I couldn’t stop shaking. I wrapped my arms around
Kevin’s neck and he hugged me so tight
it almost took my breath away. I didn’t care though, because I was
too numb to feel anything. I closed my eyes and clung to the back of Kevin’s
shirt.
“Hey, having a group hug without
us?” Brian yelled walking towards us with Howie by his side holding bags
of McDonald’s food. “Whoa, sorry. On my gosh, what’s going on here?”
Brian said, suddenly realizing I
was crying. Kevin shook his head as if to say I didn’t want to talk.
“What the hell’s going on in
there?” Howie questioned as there were sounds of things being broken and
slammed against the wall. I could hear AJ
screaming and growling and beating his fist against things.
“Don’t go in there,” Kevin said
quickly. Nick came walking down the hall with his hands shoved into his pockets.
“Why’s everyone standing around?”
Nick asked and then saw me. “Jess? Jessica what’s wrong?” He asked
pulling me from Kevin’s grip. I felt like I could relate to him because he was
going through the same thing. I was
still crying pretty hard. Nick wiped my face with the back of his hand and
looked very confused. He became
even more confused as he heard the chaos from the green room.
“What the...” Nick opened the door. “AJ McLean!” He screamed still holding my hand. I jerked my hand away and ran down the hall, as far away as I could get. I ran outside the building and around back to where the tour bus was, climbed inside and made my way to the bunks. I was used to sleeping in AJ’s bunk. That’s the only bed I had slept in since I had known the guys. Well, except the time I climbed in bed with Howie when AJ had been sick and Howie just wanted some company. But this time I had no urge to lay on the same sheets that AJ slept on. The same bed that I had once cuddled up to him after a long tiring show as he rubbed my back and hair and told me how much he loved me. The same bed that AJ had made love to many times before while everyone else was sleeping. No, I couldn’t bare to climb in his bunk again. Instead I slung open his curtain and ripped off all of the pictures of me and him that he had taped to the wall, and replaced them with the crumbled picture of the girl. Then I laid down in Brian's bed and closed the curtain, my tears drowning out the storm around me.