Long ago, in a far away land, there was a beautiful queen. She was clipping her nails, and cut the end of her finger. A drop of blood fell on the pale white concrete, and she thought to herself, When I have a son, I wish for him to have eyes bluer than the sky, skin as light as the fairest of sand, and hair as blonde as the sun.
A year later, a baby boy was born. Tho old queen's dream had come true. They named him Sandy Brown. Soon after that, the king had a stroke. He couldn't handle the new-born baby boy's sickly scream.
The queen became very depressed, because there was nobody around to be Sandy Brown's daddy. She decided to announce that she was looking for a handsome, wealthy king, who has experience with children.
When Sandy Brown was on year, his mother had fallen in love with a handsome, wealthy, and selfish king, who did not have any experience with toddlers. He made Sandy Brown doo all of the housework.
The new king had a mnagic tray, that answered his questions truely.
One day, the selfish king was in his room, trying to make himself more handsome. He got curious as to who was the mose handsome man in the land.
Enchanted tray, tray as you may, who is the most handsome man today?
The tray replied,My dear master, must you ask? of course YOU are the most handsome man in the land.
Although the tray had no rhythm nor rhyme, it answered the king as true as it could. But after the tray answered him, the king proceeded to try and make himself even more good looking.
Sixteen years later, the king had asked his tray again, who was the most handsome man, and this is what the tray replied, MY dear king, my favorite stud, I tell you true, Sandy Brown is much better looking than thou.
This made the king very upset, and he started to wonder how to get rid of Sandy Brown. He called one of his servants, and told him about how to get rid of Sandy Brown. This is what he said, I want you to take Sandy Brown deep into the forest, and stab him to death.
The servant had no choice, but to follow the kings orders. Sandy Brown was taken deep into the woods, but the servant could not think about even harming his favorite royal master. He told Sandy Brown to run as far away from that spot as possible, for the king was not very happy. After Sandy Brown was out-of-sight, the servant went back to the castle, and told the king that Sandy Brown was dead.
As Sandy Brown was running through the forrest, he was running faster than he though he could. The reason for that was he was being chased by the homely Goldie Lox, who fell in love with him at first sight.
But as he was running, he saw a tiny cabin. He made a break to get to it, hoping that he'd lose Goldie Lox. Sandy Brown squeezed through the door, and saw seven tiny girls horking down a gigantic meal. Then he realized he had lost the ever ugly Goldie Lox.
The oldest of the dwarfs, stood up and gave Sandy Brown a very professional welcome. She then proceeded to introduce herself and her six younger sisters, My name is Paunchy. These are my younger sisters, Grouchy, Loopy, Dumpy, Lazy, Dreamy, and last but not least, Drippy.
Five of the sisters, in harmony, almost singing said,
Then the sixth one just sat there and sneered.
Sandy Brown figured that these girls might seem nice enough to let him stay there. Which in two weeks time, they all decided to let him stay there, as long as he cleaned and cooked for them. Except for Grouchy, of course.
As the days passed, the king had thought that Sandy Brown was most definately dead, so he then asked his magic tray again, who was the most handsome man in the land. This was the tray's reply, Wonderful stud, I would never lie, you have lost your looks, so Sandy Brown is much more good looking that you.
That made the king very upset. He was so ticked off with rage, that he planned to try and destroy Sandy Brown, himself.
With outrage, the king had his very powerful wicked warlock make a magic potion, to kill the handsome prince. The king then put the potion into some very tasty bananas. Then went out to find Sandy Brown.
Back at the cabin, everyday before the ugly female dwarfs left, they told Sandy Brown not to leave the cabin. Not to talk to anybody, or even speak a word, while they were gone shopping at the 'Forrest Market'.
While they were gone, there came a pounding at the cabin door. Naturally, Sandy Brown opened it. He saw an old woman standing there, carrying a basket of apples. The first thing that Sandy Brown said was,
Sorry ma-am, I wont take any of your apples, for AI am not as stupid as my cousin Snow White,and with that, he slammed the door in the old woman's face.
A few hours later, there came another knock at the door. He opened it, and saw an old man sittin in a wheelchair selling bananas. Since bananas were Sandy Brown's favorite fruit, he bought one of them. Next he bit into it, and fell woth a very loud "THUD", as if he was just shot with an elephant gun. Back at the castle, the warlock had just realized that he did not use the death potion. He had used the sleep potion. "the only way that Sandy Brown can be awakened is by a kiss on the nose by a pure 'unseasoned' princess." muttered the warlock. When the dwarf girls arrived home, they noticed that Sandy Brown was not moving, but he was still breathing. They propped him up in the corner, on an extra chair. For the first time in her entire life, Grouchy smiled. She didn't stop smiling until it was time for them to eat supper.
Five days later, while Drippy was in the forrest, she had heard some other female talking to herself. Drippy went ti find out who that was. Then she saw a beautiful princess, tieing her sneaker, while talking to herself.
In a flash, Drippy ran home and told the others about what she had seen. Loopy woke up Paunchy, and all the dwarfs, except Lazy, went to go see this princess. When they saw her, she was still tieing the same shoe.
Dreamy was the bravest one, so she went up to the princess, and introduced herself. "Hello, my name is Dreamy. I was wondering if you could do my sister's and I a favor.
Well, what would you like me to do?" questioned the princess. Just then, Loopy jumped out of the bushes abd blurted out, "Do you think that you can see what is wrong our housekeeper? You see, he's been asleep for the past five days, and he hasn't moved". "I could go over and see what I can do, but you see, I am not a doctor". Thank you very much!" the dwarfs chimed in. When they arrived at the cabin, Lazy woke up to greet the princess, then went back to watch the boob-tube. Paunchy showed the princess to Sandy Brown, and asked, "What can you do? He's not dead, because as you can see, he's still breathing." The princess thought that Sandy Brown was so good looking that she couldn't resist giving him a little kiss on the nose. Just then, Sandy Brown woke up and yawned. He blinked his long lashes a few times and said, "That has got to be the best nights sleep I've had in a long time!" A few years later, Sandy Brown and the princess go married. They had a baby girl, and named her Beauty. Sixteen years later, Beauty fell in love with a peasant nick-named Beast
By Kristy Lozanski copyright. � 2003