Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older & going through menopause, I find it even better!

In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling & uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was & generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another & I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped & got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative. To my surprise & satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well, the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative & my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

Well, gotta go.
I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...

..........