The next two pages are dedicated to the guys in my life. Especially my son, Denny. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better. If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. If you cry, you're a wimp.If you don't, you're insensitive. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If she asks you, it's favor. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob. If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful. Quick Wit: I like dogs. I do. But they're not that bright, really. Let's examine the dog mind: Every time you come home, he thinks it's amazing. He can't believe that you've accomplished this again. You walk in the door. The joy of it almost kills him. "He's back again! It's that guy! It's that guy!" -- Jerry Seinfeld Quick Wit: The Quick Wits come from mailbits jokes! 7 things to do to when your ISP goes down 1. Dial 911 Immediately. 2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. You mean there's something else to do? 4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote. 5. Work. 6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family. 7. Get that kidney transplant you've been putting off. I was terrible at history. I could never see the point of learning what people thought back when people were a lot stupider. For instance, the ancient Phoenicians believed that the sun was carried across the sky on the back of an enormous snake. So what? So they were idiots. -- Dave Barry . ..........