This 'n' That
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Cinderella
Cinderella was now 75 years old.

After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.

Cinderella said "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The Fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension."

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old, faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.

Cinderella said, "Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother." The Fairy Godmother replied "It is the least I can do. What does your heart want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: "I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again."

At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. A long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her.

Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke "You have one more wish, what shall you have?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a man, so beautiful the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen, so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet.

The Fairy Godmother again spoke, Congratulations, Cinderella. Enjoy your new life." And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect man she had ever seen.

Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered, "I bet you regret having me neutered now, don't you?"

Love Dress

A lady stopped unexpectedly by her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing," she asked.
"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law replied.
"Why are you naked," asked the mother-in-law.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.
"LOVE DRESS! You're naked," said the mother-in-law.
"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law.
"He will be home any minute now, so perhaps you could stop by a little later?". Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left.

On the way home, she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.

Finally, his pickup truck drove up the drive way. Her husband opened the door, and immediately saw his naked wife.

"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly.
"Needs ironing," he replied.

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