When I was Lost

Sometimes I miss that guy
stomach tight I can't really make out who it is
in that dark in that uncomfortable sky
blinking hard is it you behind these pregnant tears
or am I only dreaming of the day you die?

you tell me to smile but I find it hard to do you know
in the summer my grin is shy from the heat
and at night it's turned in, with the lights out
afraind of the hurt it's made to greet

when the sky explodes with the violence of dawn
those giggling daisies bob against the drop
you sigh with your junk-filled water lungs
we both beg the sunshine to stop

eventually it fades, its grip loosening my terror
we are orange and grey and have nightly cries
we're lost in the child's world of feverish tumbles
we've lost something from within our lives

is this the thing they talk about?  is this that thing called love?
or am I being cold and halfway met?
"shut up" you say, and insert the warmed needle
as you sing in your dying alphabet.

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