When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin, and Hydrogin is gin and water.
The three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration and then expectoration.
Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
The body consists of three parts--the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowls, of which there are five--a, e, i, o, and u.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends toward the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
The alimentary canal is in the northern part of Indiana.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars and eight cuspidors.
For drowning: Climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.
Germinate: to become a naturalized German.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat. Momentum: What you give someone when they are going away. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative or negative.
For a nosebleed, put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.
For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
To prevent contraception, wear a condominium.
To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.