I always believed that things would change once we got married. I thought that after the wedding, he would know that I truly loved him and would never do anything to hurt him. I thought that he would understand he did not need to hurt me anymore. It wasn't even the cuts or bruises that bothered me. I had endured multiple different kinds of physical sores throughout this relationship and no longer had the same painful reactions to them that I once did. This kind of relationship was something I had become accustomed to. What did bother me however, were the faces that people gave me walking down the street. The reactions of the visitors and patients at the hospital when I would go to get checked out after yet another fierce fight with my boyfriend. It was the doctors furrowing their brows eyeing me with a pitiful look telling me that I didn't deserve this while they examine my gnarled face. I knew that. I knew that what he was doing wasn't right, and that there wasn't anything that I did that could possibly be to blame for it. Still, I had learned to live with it over the years.
It wasn't until this day however, that the reality of how bad it was finally set in. As I stared up at the murky grey ceiling, I could see bright lights passing over me. A soft hurrying wind gliding over my body sent a chill up my spine. I could hear faint voices tlaking near me yet seemed so far away. "Out of the way......operating room.......30cc's.......crash kit ready......not going to make it". Looking up, I could see the tops of people's heads as I was getting rushed past them. The noise of activity surrounding me drew my attention even more to my unfamiliar surroundings. However, when I attempted to turn my head to seet he busy corridor, I became aware of a device over my forehead refusing it of any movement. I felt a tingle in my right hand as I saw a bag of clear fluid being emptied into it with the access of a needle. ?A doctor dressed all in geren with a thin white mask protecting his mouth stood staring down at me. He looked like he wished his eyes were covered as well. He removed the protective mask from his mouth and it appeared he was shouting at me, though I couldn't hear a word he was saying. Suddenly a wave of exhaustion came over my body and I could feel my limbs becoming numb and going limp. As if 100 pounds were abruptly placed on my eyelids, I was now having trouble keeping them open. The doctor's eyes widened with horror then all at once, everything went black. After a minute, a jolt of energy surged through my body bringing a moment of energy to my lifeless body. The next thing I remembered was waking up ehre.
Now as I stand in front of these heavenly gates, I ask and plead of you, please, please forgive me Father. I did not foresee the consequences of my neglecting actions. I did not understand the damage that could be done, nor did I imagine this possible. I am so sorry, and though I have turned you away in the past, I now ask one thing of you. Please let me come home. |
