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the feelings of Insanity remain. although lessened, i can still feel them lurking. the headaches come and go. those evil headaches. the headaches that cease only by inflicting pain on myself; pounding my head on the wall, slicing my skin open with my own razor sharp fingernails. Insanity would make me feel at peace, for the road there is difficult and impossible. now i know why people commit suicide. They're on the road to Insanity and the journey drives them to it. how do i stop this? my soul can only take so much, my heart cannot bear anymore pain. maybe this is Insanity. if so, how do i go back? who put me here? i can only blame myself. i blame myself for allowing this to happen to me. allowing myself to drop into a pit of dispair that no rope, no hope and no wish can drag me out of. only i can pull myself out. and that is my goal. happiness. the happiness i once had when people hadn't changed. when people had hearts. when my ignorance was my bliss. |
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