What If I Said...
Disclaimer: The song is by Anita Cochran and Steve Warnier - and the fic isn't real - I hate to burst all your bubbles, but that's just the way it is We�ve been friends for a long, long time. You tell me yours secrets and I tell you mine. She�s left you all alone and you feel like no one cares, but I�ve never failed you I�ve always been there. Shae-Lynn�s POV I wasn�t really surprised when Victor showed up on my doorstep late that night. We had all been hearing the fights between him and Maikki at the rink, but the one that day had seemed particularly bad; his eyes gave away the emotion that his face fought to hide. �Are you okay?� I asked softly, taking his hand and drawing him inside. �It�s over.� His voice was quiet; I could see the internal fight to clear his face of all expression. He didn�t need to elaborate - I knew. I always knew when it came to him. �Oh Vic, I�m sorry.� I whispered, giving him a tight hug, my anger rising against HER. He deserved better, he deserved so much better. I knew he wasn�t perfect; hell, we knew so many of each other�s secrets, we�d have enough blackmail to become rich. But none of that mattered, because we were there for each other. We were friends� best friends. And because of that, I hated her. I told myself it wasn�t directly because of her. I told myself that I had nothing against her in general, against the idea of Vic having a girlfriend. I told myself, that Victor was my best friend. That that was why I was angry, that no one had the right to treat my best friend in that way. That was all. Yet I had to ask myself if that was really true. Yes, I got angry at the way Victor was being treated� but deep inside, I had to ask myself if what I once called friendship hadn�t developed into something more. You tell your stories, it sounds a bit like mine It�s the same old situation, It happens every time. Can�t we see it or maybe you and me is what�s meant to be or do we disagree? Victor�s POV I hadn�t planned on being at Shae-Lynn�s, yet it just felt right. I knew instinctively I could trust her; I could lay out almost anything I was feeling, and I knew, I just knew that she would understand. Maikki and I were over. It sounded so final, but even in my own head, I knew it was for the best. There was a small part of me that had always known it wasn�t meant to be. And that was something I wasn�t really sure I could ever admit, especially to Shae. For in admitting that, I would have to admit the reason I had known Makki could never capture my heart. I coughed, embarrassed about all the talk of my failed romance. �So how�s your love life these days, Shae?� I glanced over at her, attempting a smile. �It�s not.� Was her simple reply. �But� but what about Nikolai?� I sputtered. Unlike my own relationship, Shae�s had never given the slightest indication of trouble - hence the reason it shocked me so much. �Over. It�s just not there.� �What�s not?� My brow wrinkled in typical male confusion. �IT.� Came her slightly exasperated reply. �But�� My head felt muddled, and shook it lightly, glancing over to meet her eyes, understanding hitting me as I stared into her depths. �I�m sorry, Shae.� It was my turn to hold her, listening. That was, after all, what friends are for. My thoughts seemed to be running in circles, as we sat there quietly. It never seemed to fail. I would get a girlfriend, Shae would get a boyfriend. Yet we always ended up together after, seeking the comfort and shelter we knew the other would provide. And that made me wonder� what if all the significant others were really just an excuse, a way to avoid meeting our true feelings head on? My eyes widened slightly, and I glanced down at her, searching her features for the answer I knew lay in my heart. I had my answer, I realized. I had always known it deep down. But what would she say? What if I told you, What if I said, that I love you. How would you feel? What would you think? What would we do? Shae-Lynn�s POV I could feel his gaze on me, could feel his questioning stare, yet my gaze remained fixed on the tiny buttons of his shirt. I couldn�t help but wonder what he was thinking, what he felt at that very moment. Could it be anything at all like the thoughts racing through my own mind? I froze for a moment. Was I really thinking it? And not just think it, but admitting it? I peeked up through my lashes, watching his expressions. I love you, I thought, testing the words, relishing in their truth. Yet the joy I felt was short-lived. He was my friend, my BEST friend. I could never tell him how I felt. The fear of losing him was too great. But I couldn�t help but wonder, if that fear would ever disappear� what WOULD he say? And then what? Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine, or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end, What if I said. Victor�s POV How could I even contemplate making the moves on my best friend? It was SHAE� she was my skating partner, my accomplice, my partner in crime� my best friend. We used to joke that we loved each other, we just weren�t IN love� how could I break down the barriers we had fought so hard to erect, in order to cross that line? Would it last? And Shae herself� what would she say? What could she possibly say? Hey, guess what, I love you� I couldn�t just say it. We had agreed so many year before that we would never cross that line, that we would be the one dependable factor in each others� lives. Well, our plan had worked, too well in fact. She had become my rock. If something went wrong, it never occurred to me to go to my current �lady�. No, I went to Shae - I told her everything, probably often more than she really wanted to know. But how could I tell her THAT? What would she say? She doesn�t love you. oh that�s plain to see. I can read between the lines of what you�re telling me. Shae-Lynn�s POV I had almost come to the conclusion that my feelings would have to stay secret forever. I couldn�t risk it, I decided; our friendship meant far too much to me. Yet my mind raced with the consequences of keeping a secret of that nature. He would never hold me in his arms, at least, not in the way that I dreamed to be held. He would never kiss me, never touch me� never make love to me. Never. It sounded so final. He would find someone else to love, to marry, to grow old with� oh god. No one would ever love him the way I did, and I didn�t know if I could live with someone else trying to. I thought of Maikki. I had watched her with him for so long, and each time, there had been tiny pangs that hit my heart each time he spoke of her. He never said as much (not that he ever would), yet I knew, I just knew, that she didn�t love him. She couldn�t - and he deserved more - he deserved everything. And he doesn�t hold you the way a woman should be held. How long can I go on keeping these feelings to myself? What if I told you, What if I said that I love you? How would you feel? What would you think? What would we do? Victor�s POV I fought my anger against Nikolai. I would have loved to get him into a dark street corner. The thought of pressing my fist into his teeth gave me a rather sadistic feeling of joy. d**n it, she deserved to be held close, to be loved, cherished� things he never did. She deserved better than that, and my blood boiled at the way she had been treated. I let out a small sigh. I wasn�t as mad at him as I was frustrated with myself, with the whole situation really. I wanted so bad to tell her. I wanted to be the one who held her. I wanted to be the one to make her dreams come true. I just didn�t know how much longer I could keep my feelings a secret. But what on earth would she do? I couldn�t just look at her and say �I love you�� what would she think? Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine, or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end, What if I said. Shae-Lynn�s POV How could I tell him that I loved him? How could I go against everything we had ever planned? It just didn�t seem right. Yet to not� I couldn�t do that either. We�d had what seemed to be the perfect relationship. Had being the key word. Suddenly, I wanted so much more. I couldn�t lose him. But I couldn�t stay silent. I felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place. There was nowhere to run, no way to turn� I had to face it dead on. And it scared the hell out of me. Oh, we both had our share of loneliness. So who to say that we can�t have a little happiness. Victor�s POV I couldn�t let it slip away. I just couldn�t. We had both been through so much, had journeyed on different yet strangely similar paths. We deserved to be happy� I knew I could make her happy, I only had to convince her to let me try. And I would do just that, or die trying. Because I loved her. I felt a grin spread across my face. d**n, it felt good to admit it, even if it was just to myself. And if I found mine in you. It would make my dreams come true. She-Lynn�s POV I had to do it. I had to tell him. He was worth the risk, because he would make my world so much happier, just by being in it. We had a special relationship to begin with, one that could never be taken away. I wasn�t about to lose that, or to lose him. I was merely following my heart; I was making my dreams come true. Or would you walk away? Victor�s POV Her eyed flickered up to meet mine, and I sensed a subtle fear there, one she quickly tried to hide. Our questioning gazes held, as my heart began to pound in my chest. This was it. After I said it, there would be no turning back. There would be no return to what used to be. Everything would change. The big question was, would she walk away from me, or would she walk into a deeper part of my heart? I�ve always wondered, since the day that we met. Shae-Lynn�s POV I had felt it once, when we first tried out, that tiny spark, the one that had fought to be ignited. We had smothered it quickly, vowing that the best partnerships were broken up in bed, and we would never be that way. We had vowed to be the best, to reach the top - together. We had done that, and more. And we had done it together. But that spark had never really died. It still lay inside me, smouldering, begging to be released. And I knew the flame of love could burn bright if only we were to allow it. Best friends and so much more� I won�t lost that, I vowed. Shae and Vic forever. We were a team� now we just had to take that tiny step. What if I said? Victor�s POV I stared down into her eyes, searching inside myself for the right way to tell her. Just be honest, I told myself� tell her how you feel. Just do it. What if I said? Shae-Lynn�s POV Breath Shae, just breath. I commanded myself. It�s three simple words. And it�s Vic. Just say it. What if I said? In unison �Shae? I� I love you.� Vic whispered, turning to face her full on, his heart in his eyes. At the same time, she quietly blurted out, �I love you, Vic.� The End.
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