Chapter 4
(Picking up with where Ch. 3 Left off but in Shae�s POV) I nestled in closer to Vic and watched the end of the movie. He has been wonderful for the past few months�but what else is new? He is always wonderful, always thinking of everyone else�s well being. �God, I love him�. I thought as a feeling of warmth rushed over me. I opened my eyes wide. How could I say that? He was engaged! Even though things weren�t good now, I was with Nikolai. This was wrong and I knew it but it couldn�t change the feelings I was getting when I was with Victor. They were deeper and more intense than the deepest feelings I felt with Nikolai. I focused my eyes back on the TV as Meg Ryan finally locked eyes with Tom Hanks. �How romantic!� I sniffed, tearing up. Vic started laughing. �Why are you crying? You knew that they were eventually going to get together. How many times have you seen this one again?� He handed me a tissue. I wiped my eyes. �This will probably be number 37,�. I smiled and lifted myself up so that I was now sitting upright. �Wasn�t that wonderful?� I asked, unable to keep the smile off my face. He smiled warmly at me. �It wasn�t that bad,� He admitted. �What do you think happens?� I questioned. He looked at me, puzzled. �We already know. He takes her hand and they walk off into the sunset together. End of movie,�. I shook my head. �No. After all of that. When they get home. What happens to them?� He sat up and looked at me. �Well, I think they probably got to know each other better, fell and love and lived happily ever after. That�s what�s implied anyway,�. I sighed. �Don�t you wish real life was just implied like that?� He reached over and took my hand. �Hey, I thought you were doing ok,�. I smiled weakly. �I am�I am.� God that sounded so fake. He seemed to know it too. He looked at me warily. �Shae-Lynn,� He replied knowingly. �Ok, I�m not great,� I confessed. �But I just want that�you know?� I looked at him and he urged me to continue. I paused and took a deep breath, trying to organize a simple sentence from the jumble of thoughts suddenly taking over my head. I glanced down as I spoke, feeling somewhat unsure and embarrassed. �You know in old movies where the guy just sweeps the woman into his arms and kisses her so passionately that you can just feel the love they have for each other permeating from the screen?� I finally allowed myself to glance up and saw that his face was suddenly much closer to mine than I remembered. Those familiar Goosebumps that only show up when he�s around began to form on my arms. I swallowed deeply. �Mmmhmmm,� He mumbled looking at me intensely. I felt my heart begin to race. Even the most intense feelings I felt when I was Nikolai seemed meaningless compared to the ones taking over my body. I felt my face grow hot as I blushed furiously. �I�I just�I can�t help but wonder what that feeling is,� I stammered nervously as I confessed one of my deepest secrets. Without warning, I felt his lips fall on mine as his arms wrapped around my body and pulled me as close as possible to his. The shock I initially felt lasted mere seconds as I allowed myself to give into the feelings coursing through my body. I kissed him back with all the passion I felt at that very moment, with every ounce of passion I suddenly realized I had been feeling for him all along. The kiss was unlike anything I had ever felt before. It was firm, yet tender. Passionate, yet deliberate and, in a way, familiar and comfortable. His hands gently and slowly traced a path up my back and up to my face to cup my cheeks softly. He pulled away slowly, placing tiny kisses around my mouth before finally letting go of me reluctantly. I sat there with my eyes closed for a few moments, trying to piece together what had just happened. I touched my lips absentmindedly, trying to convince myself that, yes, this was real. It was so wonderful, so much the opposite of the way I had ever been treated by any man I had ever been with. While I had never, ever been treated horribly in the past, the way Victor treated me in every way surpassed any man in the past. He touched me so gently, as if he would hurt me if he wasn�t careful. He was always like this on the ice and when he kissed me�.it was even more so. I opened my eyes and glanced over at him. He looked so worried and just as confused as I felt. �Shae-Lynn�.I�.you must hate me,�. He got up and walked into the kitchen running his hands furiously through his hair. I got up quickly and ran after him. �Vic, of course I don�t,� I answered quickly, coming up behind him and placing my hand on his back. I closed my eyes and allowed my emotions to control my actions�something I never did off the ice. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and hugged myself to him, resting my cheek against his back. I felt him sigh. �I don�t know what�s going on,� He confessed. The fear, and puzzlement, and honesty were clear in his voice. �I don�t either,� I confessed, feeling scared myself. He turned around and gently took my face in his hands. I stood on my toes and allowed my forehead to rest against his. A feeling of pure happiness and contentment washed over me as I closed my eyes, feeling more relaxed than I had in weeks. I knew that I shouldn�t feel that way but the simple effect of his hands on me allowed me to feel free to feel this way. �That kiss�� I whispered, trying to find the right words. �It was�� There were no words to describe it. He smiled. �Perfect?� He supplied. That word fit. �Yeah,� I breathed, opening my eyes to look into his. Despite the fact that we were both obviously scared to death, his eyes sparkled happily and seemed to smile back into mine. He let his hands drop from my face and encircled my waist, pulling me closer to him. I allowed my arms to wrap around his neck. It all seemed so natural. I never once felt unsure or nervous like I had in previous relationships. I wanted this so much and I couldn�t believe I had never realized it before. My heart pounded franticly in my chest as he tilted his head down and kissed my lips again. The first kiss was so passionate and almost frenzied, like the only thing we needed was the release of finally feeling each other�s lips for the first time. This kiss was softer, more relaxed. It was as if we were taking the time to appreciate each caress, the feeling, the taste-all of it. It still had the same effect as the first�it still made me weak in the knees. Throughout it all, however, there seemed to be a little voice in the back of my head whispering to me how wrong it was. That he was engaged to be married and I was still involved with Nikolai. It didn�t feel wrong. How could something so wrong be so perfect? So right? The guilt began to eat at me. �Vic?� I murmured, still reveling in the fact that he was there, holding me so close, so lovingly. �Mmmmhmmm?� he mumbled, placing small kiss after small kiss on my lips. � Do you think we should talk about some things?� I asked, kissing him just as warmly as he was doing to me. I hated to be the one to bring it up and to break the spell that we had created. He stopped and slowly pulled away. �I guess we should, huh?� He reasoned reluctantly. With that, he took my hand in his and led me back to the couch. I only hoped we could find some way through this because I knew moments earlier, as he kissed me softly and ran his fingers gently through my hair, that I was completely in love with him. I knew that I had never even been close to being in love until that point. And I wasn�t about to give all of that up so soon. I couldn�t.
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