Chapter 2
I glanced at him. The usual calm, relaxed, smiling Victor was no longer there and it was replaced with a man who seemed uneasy, tense and perplexed. �Vic�you are happy with Maikki, aren�t you?� I asked gently. He shrugged and forced a grin on his face. �Don�t you worry about me, Shae,� I looked him straight in the eye. �Don�t you try to change the subject,� �Look who�s talking,� �Vic,� I warned. He sighed. �Things aren�t amazing,� He confessed. �But they aren�t bad either. I think I�m just expecting too much,� �What do you mean?� I asked, feeling confused. He looked hesitant. �Vic, come on. It�s ok,� �It�s just that�I feel like the spark that I used to feel when I was with her is just gone. It�s almost as if I�m with a good friend instead of someone that I�m romantically attracted to and in love with. But, maybe that�s how it�s supposed to be before marriage. Maybe it�s me being used to being with her�or maybe it�s a stage,� I nodded empathetically. �It doesn�t help with her in Finland all the time too,� I pointed out. He nodded. �Tell me about it. It just seems that when we sit down to dinner or something, there is not too much to talk about. She�ll talk about her stuff, I�ll mention mine and we�ll both listen politely,�. He ran his hands through his hair, looking frustrated. �Sorry, I shouldn�t put all this on you,�. I shook my head and placed my hand on his arm. �Stop. If anything, you and I should be able to talk about stuff like this together. You�re my best friend, don�t feel bad about telling me stuff like this,� I assured as I leaned in and rested against his body. I felt him reach up and run his fingers through my hair comfortingly. �So, don�t think I didn�t forget about what you said about Nikolai,� I groaned and covered my face with my hands. �I figured you didn�t. You�re annoying like that,� He laughed gently. �I�ll take that as a compliment. Come on�I told you my problems, join me in this dark place,� I burst out laughing. �That�s a good way of putting it,� He grinned. �I thought so. Now come on�spit it out,� I shifted and lifted myself up so that I could sit facing him. �It�s basically the same as yours except�� �Except�� �You know how you said that it almost feels like you and Maikki are trying too hard?� I began. He nodded. �Well, with me and Nikolai, it�s me trying hard and him not caring at all,� Victor�s face softened. �Oh Shae�� I put my hand on his lips. �Please don�t feel sorry for me. I hate it when people act that way toward me,� He nodded and I lowered my hand. �Look around,� I said gesturing around me. He did as I asked. �This is basically every night since a month after we moved in together. It�s the usual�me alone, waiting up and wondering where he is. Imagining who he�s with�what her name is�if I was that girl at some point in my life,�. My eyes filled up with tears and I struggled to swallow the lump in my throat. �You could never be that girl,� Victor said quickly, reaching over to wipe the tears flowing from my eyes. �You loved him and he took advantage of that,� He added bitterly. I could see the anger in his eyes. �I was so stupid,� I confessed, breaking down harder. He reached over and pulled me into his arms. �I thought he was the one. I thought that he loved me just as much as I loved him. He was so wrong for me,� �Shhh,� He soothed, rubbing my back and allowing me to cry it all out. I remained tightly in his arms for the longest time, feeling safe and secure. �I�m sorry,� I said, sitting up and wiping my swollen eyes. �You must be having a blast tonight,� I stood up and walked away, feeling foolish and embarrassed for losing it like that in front of him. He got up, walked up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. �I always have a good time with you�if you�re crying, yelling at me, making fun of me,� I smiled and began laughing. �You�re such a goof,� He smiled and put his hand on my cheek. �But I made you laugh,� I nodded and allowed him to lead me back on the couch. �Do you feel better now that you finally got that out?� I nodded. �A little,� I confessed. �But it�s still not going to change things. Nikolai�s out doing god knows what, I�m still stuck here, hurt and upset,� He paused. �Why don�t you stay with me?� I thought about it. �Vic, that would be wonderful but�� �Come on, there doesn�t have to be a but,� �You and I both know that Nikolai would become even more difficult to work with. And, we can�t do this without him,� �I guess you�re right,� he answered, looking a bit unsure. �Besides, what would Maikki think?� I added cautiously. He nodded quickly. �Yeah, you�re right. It�s a bad idea, nevermind,� I took his hand. �It was a really sweet idea though, thank you,�. I impulsively leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly. His face blushed bright red �It�s really nothing, Shae�really,� He said quickly I looked right at him. �No, it is. No one�s ever cared about me more than you. It means a lot,�. I looked deep into his eyes and felt my heart flutter as they stared right back at me. The way he was looking at me�so gently and considerately�it was something so new, yet wonderful to me. I had to strain to pull away. He cleared his throat to break the silence. �You�re not going to cry again, are you?� I playfully hit him and cuddled in next to him. �Shut up,� He laughed and wrapped his arms tightly around me. The fluttering of my heart turned into a rapid beat and I began to get butterflies in my stomach. �Just kidding. Really, Shae. We can do this more. It�s not like I have many people to hang out with around here either. Whenever you want to do this, I�m up for it,� I grinned and looked up at him. �Promise?� �Promise,� He vowed. Feeling happy and at peace for the first time in the longest time, I drifted to sleep in his arms. I finally felt like things were going to get better.
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