Chapter 11
Shae�s POV: Seeing him again was hard. The uncomfortable conversation that we started with wasn�t us at all. Even in the beginning when I basically considered him �my gross, older partner�, he was my bud. He was the guy I made fart jokes with. Yes, I was sixteen years old when this happened, I�ll admit it, but who better to make jokes like that with than your guy friend? Then we moved on from that and he became my super sweet, yet overprotective partner. No guy who was interested in me was safe when Victor was around! He would grill them on their intentions, make sure he was a safe driver, the works. Needless to say my Dad loved him even more for that! We eased into conversation after a few minutes, though, and it was almost as if nothing had changed. Almost. I saw it though. I saw that look in his eyes that he only gets when he was looking at me. Things hadn�t changed. I could see it. I could feel it in the way he touched me. The way he subtly smelled my hair as we ran through our program. Why was he doing this? He parked the car in front of the restaurant and we got out and were able to be seated right away. I settled down in my seat and began scanning my menu. I wasn�t about to let myself think of any negative thoughts. The way we were acting on the ice�that wasn�t how normal people acted when they first broke up. It didn�t seem to make sense that it was over and I was going to allow myself to live in whatever type of fantasy world I wanted at the moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Victor shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He seemed to be fidgeting, barely concentrating on his menu and glancing at his watch. �Are you ok?� I asked softly to him, allowing myself to touch his hand. He looked up at me abruptly. �Uh�yeah, I�m fine. Sorry, I just know that I have to be somewhere in about an hour. I can�t be late,�. I waited a few seconds for him to explain where he had to be, but he never did. �Oh,� I said simply. It was strange the way he was acting. Oh well�there couldn�t be any more bad news that I was going to hear. I mean, he already took US away. There wasn�t anything else. The waitress come up and we quickly gave her our orders. Once she wrote them down, she walked away and left us to ourselves. I looked over at him and smiled. �So! Let�s get talking about those tours we will have next season!� I exclaimed, rubbing my hands together excitedly. He cast his eyes down. What was with him all of a sudden. Victor, of all people, should be excited about making this decision. I ignored him and continued. �Champions on Ice made a really good offer but so did Stars on Ice and I don�t know about how you feel but I really would like to tour with Stars on Ice. We could be with Jamie and David again, and Scott sometimes and�� I babbled on for as long as possible as my stomach began to sink. There was something wrong with the way Victor wasn�t even responding to what I was saying. �Shae-Lynn,� I stopped and looked at him worriedly. �Victor, what�s wrong?� I pleaded as I felt those familiar tears stinging my eyes. His eyes were still cast on the table. �Shae-Lynn�.I can�t tour with you�� I swallowed slowly. �You mean for this season? Well�it�ll be a long time without performing but if you think you need to wait until next season well then�� �I mean, I can�t tour with you anymore. We can�t skate together.� My stomach dropped. �What? Why?� �It�s too hard for me to explain. Please don�t make me�� He begged. I shook my head, ignoring the fact that my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I replaced all the pain with anger. �No, you tell me now, � �Shae..� �NOW!� I yelled, ignoring the stares of everyone in the restaurant. �And you can at least have the decency of looking at me when you�re explaining why you�ve suddenly decided to take away everything that matters to me in the past week.� He raised his head and looked at me. His eyes were filled with anguish�pain�betrayal. It didn�t add up. �I just�I can�t. It�s going to be too hard and with the wedding coming up�I�� My eyes blurred with tears. I couldn�t believe that he was still going through with that wedding. He didn�t love her�.He loved me. How could he marry her when he wasn�t in love with her? He looked up and it was obvious that he saw that he had said the wrong thing. �Shae-Lynn, I�m sorry. I didn�t�� I forced a smile on my face as my world fell apart and I held back the tears as much as I could. "It�s ok. You gotta do what you gotta do, I guess� I could tell by the look on his face that he didn�t quite believe me. �You can still skate yourself,� Forgetting how strong I was trying to be, I let loose a bitter laugh and a small tear dripped down my cheek. �Victor, I�ve skated with you for over ten years now. It�s not that easy. I can�t just skate by myself. What I love is ICE DANCING. I love skating with you. I love being Bourne and Kraatz. I don�t know what you�re trying to do to me�if you�re trying to punish me for something but stop because you�ve done enough!� I got up and stormed quickly out the door, breathing heavily. My hands were shaking. I had never yelled at Victor like that before. Before this past week, I never fathomed that I could ever do it. I quickly hailed a taxi and got in before he had a chance to catch me. He couldn�t see me break down even more than he already had. I couldn�t show him that vulnerable side anymore. It hurt too much. I got into the taxi and as we drove away, I saw him run after me. His face looked so grief-stricken and sad, I almost told the driver to pull over. But I didn�t. I had to get away for now. It didn�t add up. If he really wanted to end things with me, he wouldn�t have acted the way he did at the rink earlier. He wouldn�t have looked at me like that, held me like that. He wouldn�t have looked as sad as he did that entire time. He looked like he was being forced to say the things he was and even his excuses for ending our partnership didn�t add up. I shook my head slightly and wiped the tears off my cheeks, feeling somehow empowered. �No,� I whispered to myself. �It�s not over. Not by a long shot�.
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