Chapter 10
Victor�s POV: I hadn�t slept in a week. I had gone from the happiest I�ve ever been to the unhappiest in mere seconds. How could I have done it? How could have broken her heart when I promised her that I never would do it? I got out of bed after a night of tossing and turning. Shae-Lynn had cancelled last week�s practices saying that she was feeling �under the weather�. I knew the truth. She didn�t want to see me. I had tried calling her from pay phones (considering the fact that Maikki now owned my cell phone and decided to monitor my calls) but she didn�t take my calls. I missed her. I would see her today, though. It would be our first practice in a week. Our first time seeing each other in a week. I was a mix of sadness, dread and excitement. I didn�t know how she would react to me. I didn�t know what to say to her or how to look at her. I was actually scared to see how different our realtionship, on and off the ice, would be. Even though the vast majority of me felt anxious as hell to see her, I couldn�t wait to see her face again. I couldn�t wait to feel her in my arms again, to smell that familiar clean smell she always had, to look into those eyes of her�s again. I grabbed my things and headed to the door. �Where are you going?� I stopped and turned around to see Maikki standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. �I�ve got practice,� I reminded her. �Are you going to train alone?� She asked, her eyes narrowing. I had never seen her like this. This wasn�t Maikki. This had really driven her over the edge. I put my things down and walked slowly back to her. �No, Maikki. Shae-Lynn and I have a ton of shows coming up. Plus we�re going to be touring soon. We need to get ready,� She shook her head and sat down on the couch. �Victor�you cheat on me with this woman and you expect me to be ok with you going off around the country with her?� I sat next to her. �We�re just skating. This is our job,� She laughed. �No it won�t be. We have already discussed this! It will be a perfect escape for you two love-birds. Sure, you�ll skate. I have no doubt of that. You both love it. However, the vast majority of the time, you two will not be on the ice. You will be on tour busses, and sight seeing and in hotel rooms,� she spat. I sighed. �Maikki, I don�t know what else to tell you,� She grabbed my hands. �Victor, I love you and I want this to work�no, I NEED this to work. You don�t even know how big this wedding is becoming. I�� she trailed off. �I know, Maikki,� I answered, looking away from her. She stopped and looked at me. �You need to stop skating with her. I don�t want you to have any more contact with her. I told you that already,� �Maikki, we have to finish the season��. I knew that she had specified no skating to me when she found out about my affair with Shae-Lynn. I thought that within time, she would back off and let me at least skate with her. She stood up defiantly and walked across the room. �Victor, I know that but you can not tour with her! If you care about me�if you care about her even, you will stop skating with her� she yelled, her eyes angry. It was no use. She wasn�t going to back down. �Ok,� I whispered, my gaze cast on the floor. I didn�t have a choice. It was best for Shae-Lynn. She walked back over to me and took my hand in her�s. �Victor, it�s for the best.� She said softly. �It�ll be best for you and me. We�ll have a good life together.�. I nodded silently, secretly not agreeing in the least. �You two can finish up together. Finish your shows and maybe even have a small goodbye tour, that I will be at, and then that will be it.� �Ok,� I answered, my mouth feeling dry, my head spinning. My whole life was spinning out of control. I didn�t have control over one bit of it. �Now, go to practice and make it short,� I grabbed my things and left. On the way to the rink, I tried to think of how to break it to her. Breaking her heart was hard enough but taking away our skating partnership? It would kill her. Despite the fact that I took my time driving to the rink, trying to put off telling her, it seemed as if I got there in no time at all. I slowly got out of the car and went inside to where she was warming up. She looked up quickly at the sound of the rink door slamming and her eyes locked with mine. I felt a familiar warmness fill my heart as I gazed into her eyes. I hadn�t felt that in a week. I weakly lifted my hand and gave her a small wave. She forced a smile on her face and blinked rapidly, obviously trying to hold back tears. Sighing heavily, I sat down on a nearby bench and laced up my skates quickly. One last normal skate before I tell her, I decided. That�s what I�ll do. It can wait. �Hey,� I said as I got on the ice and approached her. �Hey,� She muttered, lifting a hand to smooth back the wisps of hair that had come out of her ponytail. �Did you just get here?� I asked, trying to keep the conversation going. I hated this small talk. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her and apologize. I wanted to tell her that I�d never leave her again. I wanted to tell her that I loved her more than anything. That the last week had been an eternity and that I couldn�t go on without her. But I didn�t. She shook her head and fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, pulling it down so that a hint of stomach didn�t show. She never cared before. �I actually came about an hour ago and just skated,�. I nodded. �It helped take my mind off of things,� she added softly. What could I say? �Oh,� �Anyway, I must look a wreak,� She babbled, smoothing her hair once again. She didn�t at all. It was impossible for Shae-Lynn to look anything less than perfect. She looked pretty good for someone that had been training for an hour. Her face took on the usual pink flush it always does when she�s working hard and little strands of blond hair kept falling into her eyes but she still looked beautiful. Her eyes told it all though. Depite obvious attempts to make them look normal with makeup, they were still puffy and red, as if she had been crying for days. I did that to her. It killed me. �You look beautiful, Shae-Lynn,� I said truthfully, wanting more than anything to have some type of physical contact with her, even if it was just brushing up against her. Her eyes began to tear up again. I knew I shouldn�t have said anything but I couldn�t help it. I glanced at the clock. 10:00. Maikki was expecting me home at 2. We had to get this practice going if we were going to escape for some lunch, where I would be forced to tell her the truth. �Do you want to start working?� I asked, breaking eye contact with her. She smiled slightly and nodded giving me her hand. My heart skipped a beach when I came into contact with her soft skin. It had been too long. Practice went very well. Nikolai wasn�t there since he had to leave town unexpectadly about a week ago to help put together a program for one of his students in Massachusetts. That was probably for the best. Shae-Lynn didn�t have to explain herself to him during this hard time and it left us to just skate without any the usual pressures that he threw at us. Just skating around the rink with her hand in mine was enough to make me forget about the last week, about Maikki, about how our whole world turned upside down without any warning whatsoever. After about an hour or so, we were exhausted. �Do you want to get some lunch?� Shae-Lynn asked apprehensively. Although we had joked around more than I expected and had some genuine laughs, I could see that she was still unsure. �We still need to talk about next year,� she added. I nodded. I had been dreading this. How was I going to tell her that after 12+ years together, I would have to leave her? I swallowed deeply. �Let�s go,�
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